Latest / Burning Brightly / 74. {Best of Burning Brightly} Discovering Parts Work with Guest Dani Fake

Transcript

74. {Best of Burning Brightly} Discovering Parts Work with Guest Dani Fake · Burning Brightly

• 0:00
  And
• 0:00
  then
• 0:00
  the
• 0:00
  third
• 0:00
  kind
• 0:01
  of
• 0:01
  part
• 0:01
  is
• 0:02
  The
• 0:02
  authentic
• 0:03
  self.
• 0:03
  I
• 0:04
  call
• 0:04
  it
• 0:04
  the
• 0:04
  authentic
• 0:04
  self.
• 0:05
  You
• 0:05
  may
• 0:05
  refer
• 0:05
  to
• 0:05
  it
• 0:05
  as
• 0:06
  your
• 0:06
  higher
• 0:06
  self,
• 0:06
  your
• 0:07
  divine
• 0:07
  self,
• 0:07
  your
• 0:08
  essential
• 0:08
  self.
• 0:08
  but
• 0:09
  It
• 0:09
  is
• 0:09
  the
• 0:09
  part
• 0:09
  of
• 0:10
  us
• 0:10
  that
• 0:11
  is,
• 0:11
  it
• 0:12
  holds
• 0:12
  our
• 0:12
  capacity
• 0:14
  for
• 0:14
  self
• 0:14
  compassion.
• 0:15
  It
• 0:15
  is
• 0:15
  our
• 0:15
  wisest
• 0:16
  part.
• 0:17
  It
• 0:17
  is
• 0:17
  the
• 0:17
  part
• 0:17
  that
• 0:17
  holds
• 0:18
  our
• 0:18
  deepest
• 0:18
  inner
• 0:18
  knowing
• 0:19
  and
• 0:20
  it
• 0:20
  is
• 0:20
  calm.
• 0:22
  It
• 0:22
  is
• 0:22
  curious
• 0:23
  and
• 0:23
  it
• 0:23
  is
• 0:23
  compassionate.
• 0:25
  And
• 0:25
  it
• 0:25
  is
• 0:25
  like
• 0:25
  our
• 0:26
  deepest
• 0:26
  inner
• 0:26
  leader.
• 0:28
  This
• 0:28
  is
• 0:28
  burning
• 0:28
  brightly,
• 0:29
  a
• 0:29
  podcast
• 0:29
  for
• 0:29
  Christian
• 0:30
  moms
• 0:30
  who
• 0:30
  are
• 0:30
  feeling
• 0:31
  called
• 0:31
  to
• 0:31
  build
• 0:31
  a
• 0:31
  business
• 0:32
  and
• 0:32
  share
• 0:32
  their
• 0:32
  light
• 0:33
  with
• 0:33
  the
• 0:33
  world.
• 0:34
  I'm
• 0:34
  Bonnie
• 0:34
  Wiscombe,
• 0:35
  a
• 0:35
  life
• 0:35
  coach,
• 0:35
  mom,
• 0:36
  and
• 0:36
  entrepreneur.
• 0:37
  And
• 0:37
  I'm
• 0:37
  honored
• 0:37
  to
• 0:37
  be
• 0:37
  your
• 0:37
  guide
• 0:38
  as
• 0:38
  you
• 0:38
  face
• 0:38
  this
• 0:38
  business
• 0:39
  building
• 0:39
  adventure
• 0:40
  full
• 0:40
  of
• 0:40
  highs,
• 0:40
  lows,
• 0:41
  and
• 0:41
  everything
• 0:41
  in
• 0:41
  between.
• 0:42
  This
• 0:43
  is
• 0:43
  where
• 0:43
  we
• 0:43
  help
• 0:43
  each
• 0:43
  other
• 0:43
  find
• 0:44
  the
• 0:44
  courage
• 0:44
  to
• 0:44
  shine.
• 0:47
  Okay,
• 0:48
  friends,
• 0:48
  Welcome
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  Danny
• 0:49
  Fake.
• 0:49
  Welcome.
• 0:50
  Thank
• 0:50
  you
• 0:50
  for
• 0:50
  coming
• 0:51
  to
• 0:51
  the
• 0:51
  podcast.
• 0:52
  Thank
• 0:52
  you.
• 0:52
  I'm
• 0:52
  delighted
• 0:53
  to
• 0:53
  be
• 0:53
  here.
• 0:54
  Yes.
• 0:54
  You
• 0:54
  guys
• 0:54
  are
• 0:54
  going
• 0:55
  to
• 0:55
  love
• 0:55
  Dani.
• 0:55
  She
• 0:55
  and
• 0:55
  I
• 0:56
  are
• 0:56
  in
• 0:56
  a
• 0:56
  mastermind
• 0:56
  together
• 0:57
  and
• 0:57
  we
• 0:57
  really,
• 0:57
  really,
• 0:58
  have
• 0:58
  learned
• 0:58
  a
• 0:58
  lot
• 0:58
  from
• 0:58
  each
• 0:59
  other
• 0:59
  and
• 0:59
  I'm
• 0:59
  so
• 0:59
  excited
• 1:00
  to
• 1:00
  dive
• 1:00
  in
• 1:00
  on
• 1:00
  what
• 1:00
  she
• 1:01
  is
• 1:01
  an
• 1:01
  expert
• 1:01
  in.
• 1:02
  Give
• 1:02
  us
• 1:02
  a
• 1:02
  little
• 1:03
  bit
• 1:03
  of
• 1:03
  a
• 1:03
  background
• 1:03
  into
• 1:03
  your
• 1:04
  expertise,
• 1:05
  what
• 1:05
  we're
• 1:05
  going
• 1:05
  to
• 1:05
  talk
• 1:05
  about
• 1:06
  today
• 1:06
  and
• 1:06
  who
• 1:06
  you
• 1:06
  are.
• 1:07
  Yes.
• 1:08
  So
• 1:08
  who
• 1:08
  I
• 1:08
  am.
• 1:08
  So
• 1:08
  first
• 1:09
  of
• 1:09
  all,
• 1:09
  my
• 1:09
  name
• 1:09
  is
• 1:09
  Danny
• 1:10
  fake
• 1:10
  and
• 1:10
  I
• 1:11
  like
• 1:11
  to
• 1:11
  joke
• 1:11
  cause
• 1:12
  people
• 1:12
  love
• 1:12
  to
• 1:12
  make
• 1:12
  fun
• 1:13
  of
• 1:13
  my
• 1:13
  last
• 1:13
  name
• 1:14
  and
• 1:14
  it
• 1:14
  is
• 1:14
  fake
• 1:14
  just
• 1:15
  like
• 1:15
  it
• 1:15
  sounds
• 1:15
  F
• 1:15
  A
• 1:16
  K
• 1:16
  E.
• 1:16
  And
• 1:16
  I
• 1:16
  am
• 1:16
  a
• 1:16
  real
• 1:17
  person.
• 1:17
  I
• 1:17
  promise.
• 1:19
  So
• 1:19
  currently
• 1:20
  I
• 1:20
  do,
• 1:20
  I
• 1:20
  have
• 1:20
  my
• 1:20
  own
• 1:21
  practice
• 1:21
  where
• 1:22
  I
• 1:22
  do
• 1:22
  what
• 1:22
  I
• 1:23
  call
• 1:23
  depth
• 1:23
  coaching.
• 1:24
  So
• 1:24
  I
• 1:24
  am
• 1:24
  a
• 1:25
  former
• 1:25
  therapist,
• 1:25
  so
• 1:26
  I
• 1:26
  had
• 1:26
  a
• 1:26
  therapy
• 1:26
  practice
• 1:26
  for
• 1:27
  10
• 1:27
  years
• 1:27
  and
• 1:28
  really
• 1:28
  worked
• 1:28
  helping
• 1:29
  people.
• 1:30
  to
• 1:30
  go
• 1:30
  deeper,
• 1:31
  to
• 1:31
  go
• 1:31
  deeper
• 1:31
  into
• 1:31
  their
• 1:32
  inner
• 1:32
  world.
• 1:32
  And
• 1:33
  so
• 1:33
  I
• 1:33
  take
• 1:33
  that
• 1:33
  into
• 1:33
  my
• 1:33
  coaching
• 1:34
  practice
• 1:34
  now.
• 1:35
  And
• 1:35
  I'm
• 1:35
  also
• 1:36
  a
• 1:36
  PCC,
• 1:37
  so
• 1:37
  a
• 1:37
  professional
• 1:37
  certified
• 1:38
  coach
• 1:38
  with
• 1:38
  the
• 1:38
  ICF,
• 1:39
  and
• 1:39
  I'm
• 1:39
  an
• 1:39
  ICF
• 1:39
  coach
• 1:40
  mentor.
• 1:40
  So
• 1:40
  I
• 1:40
  do
• 1:41
  coach
• 1:41
  training
• 1:42
  in
• 1:42
  their
• 1:42
  coach
• 1:42
  training
• 1:42
  program
• 1:43
  and
• 1:43
  also
• 1:43
  mentor
• 1:43
  coaches
• 1:44
  who
• 1:44
  want
• 1:44
  to
• 1:44
  get
• 1:45
  their
• 1:45
  ICF
• 1:46
  credential.
• 1:48
  And.
• 1:48
  All
• 1:48
  of
• 1:49
  this,
• 1:49
  much
• 1:50
  of
• 1:50
  this
• 1:50
  is
• 1:50
  done
• 1:50
  within
• 1:50
  the
• 1:50
  context
• 1:51
  of
• 1:51
  what
• 1:51
  we're
• 1:51
  going
• 1:51
  to
• 1:51
  talk
• 1:52
  about
• 1:52
  today,
• 1:52
  which
• 1:52
  is
• 1:53
  parts
• 1:53
  work
• 1:55
  or
• 1:55
  it's
• 1:55
  work.
• 1:55
  Okay.
• 1:56
  So
• 1:56
  first
• 1:56
  off
• 1:56
  you
• 1:57
  say
• 1:57
  parts
• 1:57
  work
• 1:57
  and
• 1:57
  I
• 1:57
  think,
• 1:58
  okay,
• 1:58
  we're
• 1:58
  going
• 1:58
  to
• 1:58
  like
• 1:59
  take
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  car
• 1:59
  apart
• 2:00
  and
• 2:00
  figure
• 2:00
  out
• 2:01
  how
• 2:01
  the
• 2:01
  engine
• 2:01
  works,
• 2:02
  but
• 2:02
  I
• 2:02
  know
• 2:03
  better
• 2:03
  because
• 2:03
  I
• 2:03
  have
• 2:03
  seen
• 2:04
  Danny's
• 2:04
  work
• 2:04
  and
• 2:04
  I've
• 2:05
  been
• 2:05
  following
• 2:05
  you
• 2:05
  on
• 2:05
  Instagram.
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  love,
• 2:06
  love,
• 2:06
  love
• 2:07
  what
• 2:07
  you
• 2:07
  teach.
• 2:07
  And
• 2:07
  I
• 2:08
  love
• 2:08
  that
• 2:08
  you
• 2:08
  are
• 2:08
  kind
• 2:08
  of,
• 2:09
  it
• 2:09
  sounds
• 2:09
  like
• 2:09
  you
• 2:09
  are
• 2:09
  trying
• 2:10
  to
• 2:10
  kind
• 2:10
  of
• 2:10
  be
• 2:10
  a
• 2:10
  little
• 2:10
  bit
• 2:10
  of
• 2:10
  a
• 2:10
  liaison
• 2:11
  between
• 2:11
  that,
• 2:12
  that
• 2:12
  coaching
• 2:13
  world
• 2:13
  and
• 2:13
  the
• 2:13
  world
• 2:14
  of
• 2:14
  therapy,
• 2:14
  which
• 2:14
  I
• 2:14
  know
• 2:14
  there
• 2:15
  is
• 2:15
  a
• 2:15
  little
• 2:15
  bit
• 2:15
  of
• 2:15
  overlap,
• 2:16
  but
• 2:16
  anything,
• 2:17
  obviously
• 2:17
  we
• 2:17
  coaches
• 2:18
  can
• 2:18
  learn
• 2:18
  from
• 2:18
  the
• 2:18
  therapist
• 2:19
  to
• 2:19
  help
• 2:19
  us
• 2:19
  do
• 2:19
  our
• 2:20
  work
• 2:20
  better
• 2:20
  without,
• 2:21
  you
• 2:21
  know,
• 2:21
  crossing
• 2:21
  too
• 2:22
  far
• 2:22
  into
• 2:22
  your
• 2:22
  territory.
• 2:23
  We
• 2:23
  love.
• 2:23
  So
• 2:24
  tell
• 2:24
  us
• 2:24
  about
• 2:24
  this.
• 2:25
  What
• 2:25
  is
• 2:25
  parts
• 2:25
  work?
• 2:26
  Why
• 2:26
  is
• 2:26
  it
• 2:26
  important?
• 2:27
  Yes.
• 2:28
  So
• 2:29
  Parks
• 2:29
  work
• 2:29
  is
• 2:29
  what
• 2:30
  you
• 2:30
  say.
• 2:30
  It's
• 2:30
  like
• 2:31
  a
• 2:31
  mechanic
• 2:31
  or
• 2:31
  a
• 2:31
  car
• 2:32
  taking
• 2:32
  itself
• 2:32
  apart.
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  mean,
• 2:33
  that's
• 2:33
  not
• 2:34
  a
• 2:34
  bad
• 2:34
  metaphor,
• 2:36
  because
• 2:37
  we're
• 2:37
  actually
• 2:37
  doing
• 2:37
  that
• 2:38
  with
• 2:38
  ourselves.
• 2:38
  So
• 2:39
  most
• 2:39
  of
• 2:39
  us
• 2:39
  tend
• 2:40
  to
• 2:40
  unconsciously
• 2:41
  go
• 2:41
  through
• 2:41
  the
• 2:41
  world
• 2:42
  feeling
• 2:42
  like
• 2:42
  we
• 2:42
  are
• 2:42
  just
• 2:43
  one
• 2:43
  person.
• 2:43
  Like
• 2:44
  I'm
• 2:44
  just
• 2:44
  Danny.
• 2:45
  Right.
• 2:46
  And
• 2:46
  you're
• 2:46
  just
• 2:47
  Bonnie.
• 2:47
  But
• 2:47
  the
• 2:47
  reality
• 2:48
  is
• 2:48
  we
• 2:49
  all
• 2:49
  have
• 2:49
  a
• 2:49
  whole
• 2:50
  bunch
• 2:50
  of
• 2:50
  different
• 2:50
  parts
• 2:51
  that
• 2:51
  live
• 2:51
  inside
• 2:51
  of
• 2:52
  us.
• 2:52
  So
• 2:52
  we're
• 2:52
  not
• 2:52
  actually
• 2:53
  one
• 2:53
  mind.
• 2:53
  We
• 2:53
  are
• 2:54
  of
• 2:54
  us.
• 2:54
  Right.
• 2:54
  of
• 2:54
  multiple
• 2:55
  minds.
• 2:56
  It
• 2:56
  is
• 2:56
  not
• 2:56
  multiple
• 2:57
  personality,
• 2:57
  like
• 2:58
  we
• 2:58
  are
• 2:58
  not
• 2:58
  talking
• 2:58
  about
• 2:59
  dissociative
• 2:59
  identity
• 2:59
  disorder,
• 3:00
  but
• 3:01
  everyone
• 3:01
  actually
• 3:02
  knows
• 3:02
  this
• 3:02
  already.
• 3:03
  So
• 3:03
  if
• 3:03
  you
• 3:03
  think
• 3:03
  about
• 3:04
  in
• 3:04
  our
• 3:04
  culture,
• 3:04
  you
• 3:05
  hear,
• 3:05
  well,
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  have
• 3:06
  an
• 3:06
  angel
• 3:06
  on
• 3:06
  one
• 3:06
  shoulder
• 3:07
  telling
• 3:07
  me
• 3:07
  one
• 3:07
  thing
• 3:07
  and
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  have
• 3:08
  a
• 3:08
  devil
• 3:08
  on
• 3:08
  another
• 3:08
  shoulder
• 3:09
  telling
• 3:10
  me
• 3:10
  another
• 3:10
  thing.
• 3:10
  Or
• 3:11
  you'll
• 3:11
  say,
• 3:11
  Oh,
• 3:11
  there's
• 3:12
  a
• 3:12
  part
• 3:12
  of
• 3:12
  me
• 3:12
  that
• 3:12
  really
• 3:13
  wants
• 3:13
  to
• 3:13
  go
• 3:13
  to
• 3:13
  this
• 3:14
  holiday
• 3:14
  party.
• 3:14
  And
• 3:15
  there's
• 3:15
  a
• 3:15
  part
• 3:15
  of
• 3:15
  me
• 3:15
  that
• 3:16
  just
• 3:16
  wants
• 3:16
  to
• 3:16
  stay
• 3:16
  home
• 3:17
  curled
• 3:17
  up
• 3:17
  with
• 3:17
  the
• 3:17
  book.
• 3:18
  Right?
• 3:18
  So
• 3:19
  it's,
• 3:19
  we
• 3:19
  already
• 3:20
  use
• 3:20
  the
• 3:20
  language.
• 3:21
  We
• 3:21
  already
• 3:21
  talk
• 3:21
  about
• 3:22
  it.
• 3:22
  If
• 3:22
  anyone
• 3:22
  has
• 3:23
  seen
• 3:23
  the
• 3:23
  movie
• 3:23
  inside
• 3:24
  out
• 3:24
  from
• 3:24
  Pixar,
• 3:26
  that
• 3:26
  is
• 3:26
  a
• 3:26
  beautiful
• 3:27
  representation
• 3:28
  of
• 3:29
  parts
• 3:29
  work.
• 3:30
  And
• 3:30
  so
• 3:30
  it
• 3:30
  already
• 3:30
  exists
• 3:31
  in
• 3:31
  our
• 3:31
  culture.
• 3:31
  And
• 3:31
  so
• 3:32
  what,
• 3:32
  what
• 3:32
  parts
• 3:32
  work
• 3:33
  does
• 3:33
  in
• 3:33
  terms
• 3:33
  of
• 3:33
  my
• 3:34
  work
• 3:34
  and
• 3:34
  bring
• 3:34
  it
• 3:34
  into
• 3:34
  the
• 3:35
  coaching
• 3:35
  practice
• 3:35
  is
• 3:36
  making
• 3:36
  what's
• 3:37
  already
• 3:37
  true,
• 3:38
  how
• 3:38
  we
• 3:38
  already
• 3:39
  talk.
• 3:40
  Conscious
• 3:41
  making
• 3:41
  ourselves
• 3:42
  aware,
• 3:42
  who
• 3:43
  are
• 3:43
  the
• 3:43
  key
• 3:43
  players
• 3:44
  for
• 3:44
  each
• 3:44
  of
• 3:44
  us?
• 3:45
  How
• 3:45
  are
• 3:45
  they
• 3:45
  helping
• 3:46
  us
• 3:46
  in
• 3:46
  our
• 3:46
  lives?
• 3:47
  How
• 3:47
  are
• 3:47
  they
• 3:48
  maybe
• 3:48
  getting
• 3:48
  in
• 3:48
  the
• 3:48
  way
• 3:49
  of
• 3:49
  what
• 3:49
  we're
• 3:49
  really
• 3:50
  wanting
• 3:50
  to
• 3:50
  accomplish?
• 3:51
  How
• 3:51
  can
• 3:51
  they
• 3:52
  help
• 3:52
  us
• 3:52
  to
• 3:52
  be
• 3:52
  more
• 3:52
  emotionally
• 3:53
  regulated,
• 3:53
  build
• 3:54
  better
• 3:54
  relationships?
• 3:55
  So
• 3:55
  it's
• 3:55
  really
• 3:55
  becoming
• 3:55
  conscious
• 3:56
  of
• 3:56
  what
• 3:56
  already
• 3:57
  exists
• 3:57
  with
• 3:57
  all
• 3:58
  the
• 3:58
  different
• 3:58
  parts
• 3:59
  that
• 3:59
  live
• 3:59
  inside
• 3:59
  of
• 3:59
  you.
• 4:00
  Okay.
• 4:01
  That
• 4:01
  is
• 4:01
  a
• 4:01
  beautiful
• 4:01
  explanation.
• 4:02
  And
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  think
• 4:03
  for
• 4:03
  a
• 4:03
  lot
• 4:03
  of
• 4:03
  us
• 4:04
  will
• 4:04
  make
• 4:04
  us
• 4:04
  realize,
• 4:04
  okay,
• 4:04
  we're
• 4:04
  not
• 4:05
  crazy.
• 4:05
  This
• 4:06
  is
• 4:07
  totally
• 4:08
  normal.
• 4:08
  We
• 4:09
  all
• 4:09
  have
• 4:09
  voices
• 4:09
  in
• 4:09
  our
• 4:09
  head.
• 4:12
  I
• 4:12
  really
• 4:12
  resonated
• 4:12
  with
• 4:12
  that
• 4:13
  movie
• 4:13
  when
• 4:13
  I
• 4:13
  saw
• 4:13
  it.
• 4:13
  I
• 4:13
  was
• 4:13
  like,
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  get
• 4:14
  that.
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  got
• 4:14
  joy
• 4:15
  and
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  got
• 4:15
  fear
• 4:15
  and
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  got
• 4:16
  all
• 4:16
  the
• 4:16
  things.
• 4:16
  Yes.
• 4:17
  And
• 4:17
  disgust
• 4:17
  and
• 4:17
  anger
• 4:18
  and
• 4:18
  sadness.
• 4:19
  Yes.
• 4:19
  And
• 4:20
  sometimes
• 4:20
  they're
• 4:20
  all
• 4:20
  talking
• 4:21
  at
• 4:21
  the
• 4:21
  same
• 4:21
  time.
• 4:22
  You're
• 4:22
  like,
• 4:22
  okay,
• 4:23
  I
• 4:23
  don't
• 4:23
  even
• 4:23
  know
• 4:23
  what
• 4:23
  to
• 4:23
  think
• 4:24
  about
• 4:24
  this
• 4:24
  situation
• 4:24
  because
• 4:24
  you
• 4:25
  have
• 4:25
  all
• 4:25
  these
• 4:25
  things
• 4:25
  going
• 4:25
  on
• 4:25
  at
• 4:26
  once.
• 4:26
  And
• 4:26
  you
• 4:26
  know,
• 4:26
  when
• 4:26
  I
• 4:27
  first
• 4:27
  heard
• 4:27
  about
• 4:27
  this
• 4:27
  work
• 4:28
  from
• 4:28
  you,
• 4:28
  actually.
• 4:29
  A
• 4:29
  friend
• 4:29
  introduced
• 4:30
  me
• 4:30
  to
• 4:30
  you.
• 4:30
  I
• 4:30
  thought,
• 4:30
  okay,
• 4:31
  this
• 4:31
  resonates
• 4:31
  a
• 4:31
  lot
• 4:32
  with
• 4:32
  me
• 4:32
  and
• 4:32
  not
• 4:32
  just
• 4:33
  me
• 4:33
  personally,
• 4:33
  but
• 4:33
  in
• 4:34
  my
• 4:34
  work
• 4:34
  with
• 4:34
  clients
• 4:34
  as
• 4:34
  well,
• 4:35
  they'll
• 4:35
  say
• 4:35
  something
• 4:35
  else
• 4:36
  that
• 4:36
  I
• 4:36
  just
• 4:36
  don't
• 4:36
  know
• 4:36
  why
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  can't
• 4:37
  get
• 4:37
  rid
• 4:37
  of
• 4:37
  this
• 4:37
  thought.
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  don't
• 4:38
  know
• 4:38
  why
• 4:38
  I
• 4:38
  can't
• 4:39
  move
• 4:39
  past
• 4:39
  this.
• 4:40
  And
• 4:40
  I'm
• 4:40
  thinking,
• 4:41
  I
• 4:41
  think
• 4:41
  there's
• 4:41
  more
• 4:41
  there
• 4:42
  that
• 4:42
  we
• 4:42
  don't
• 4:42
  fully
• 4:42
  understand.
• 4:43
  Right.
• 4:43
  So
• 4:44
  let's
• 4:45
  dive
• 4:45
  in
• 4:45
  a
• 4:45
  little
• 4:45
  bit.
• 4:45
  Tell
• 4:46
  us
• 4:46
  about
• 4:46
  these
• 4:47
  different
• 4:47
  parts,
• 4:47
  these
• 4:48
  different
• 4:48
  roles
• 4:48
  inside
• 4:48
  of
• 4:48
  our
• 4:49
  mind.
• 4:49
  What
• 4:49
  do
• 4:49
  they
• 4:49
  look
• 4:49
  like?
• 4:51
  So
• 4:51
  the
• 4:51
  first
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  feel
• 4:52
  like
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  need
• 4:52
  to
• 4:52
  give
• 4:53
  a
• 4:53
  nod
• 4:53
  to
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  origin
• 4:54
  of
• 4:55
  parts
• 4:55
  work
• 4:55
  from
• 4:55
  in
• 4:55
  the
• 4:55
  therapeutic
• 4:56
  world.
• 4:56
  And
• 4:57
  so
• 4:57
  it
• 4:57
  is
• 4:57
  based
• 4:58
  on
• 4:58
  internal
• 4:58
  family
• 4:58
  systems,
• 4:59
  which
• 4:59
  was
• 4:59
  a
• 4:59
  methodology
• 5:00
  developed
• 5:00
  by
• 5:00
  Richard
• 5:01
  Schwartz
• 5:01
  like
• 5:02
  40
• 5:02
  years
• 5:02
  ago,
• 5:03
  and
• 5:03
  his
• 5:04
  work
• 5:04
  with
• 5:04
  it
• 5:04
  really
• 5:05
  is
• 5:05
  a
• 5:05
  therapeutic
• 5:06
  model
• 5:06
  of
• 5:06
  going
• 5:06
  in
• 5:07
  and
• 5:07
  working
• 5:07
  with
• 5:07
  traumas.
• 5:09
  And
• 5:09
  it
• 5:09
  has
• 5:09
  been
• 5:09
  an
• 5:10
  incredibly
• 5:10
  powerful
• 5:11
  evidence
• 5:11
  based
• 5:12
  healing
• 5:12
  modality
• 5:13
  for
• 5:13
  people
• 5:13
  in
• 5:13
  the
• 5:13
  therapy
• 5:14
  world.
• 5:14
  So
• 5:15
  I
• 5:15
  just
• 5:15
  feel
• 5:15
  like
• 5:15
  I
• 5:15
  need
• 5:15
  to
• 5:15
  give
• 5:15
  a
• 5:15
  nod
• 5:16
  out
• 5:16
  because
• 5:16
  that
• 5:16
  certainly
• 5:16
  is
• 5:17
  the
• 5:17
  foundation
• 5:17
  of
• 5:18
  it.
• 5:18
  The
• 5:18
  way
• 5:18
  that
• 5:19
  I
• 5:19
  talk
• 5:19
  about,
• 5:20
  parts
• 5:20
  work
• 5:21
  is
• 5:21
  there's
• 5:21
  really
• 5:21
  three
• 5:22
  core
• 5:23
  aspects
• 5:24
  of
• 5:24
  all
• 5:24
  of
• 5:24
  us,
• 5:25
  and
• 5:25
  the
• 5:26
  first
• 5:26
  one
• 5:26
  are
• 5:27
  your
• 5:27
  protectors.
• 5:27
  So
• 5:28
  we
• 5:28
  all
• 5:28
  have
• 5:29
  allies
• 5:30
  so
• 5:30
  that
• 5:31
  those
• 5:31
  protector
• 5:31
  parts
• 5:32
  of
• 5:32
  us
• 5:32
  that
• 5:32
  are
• 5:32
  like,
• 5:32
  yes,
• 5:33
  I
• 5:33
  can
• 5:33
  help
• 5:33
  you.
• 5:34
  I'm
• 5:34
  gonna
• 5:34
  help
• 5:35
  you
• 5:35
  get
• 5:35
  your
• 5:35
  job
• 5:35
  done.
• 5:36
  our
• 5:36
  ally
• 5:37
  protectors
• 5:37
  are
• 5:37
  what
• 5:37
  allowed
• 5:38
  you
• 5:38
  and
• 5:38
  I
• 5:38
  to
• 5:38
  show
• 5:38
  up
• 5:38
  here
• 5:38
  today
• 5:39
  and
• 5:39
  be
• 5:39
  recording
• 5:39
  this
• 5:40
  podcast,
• 5:40
  right?
• 5:40
  Because
• 5:41
  we've
• 5:41
  got
• 5:41
  parts
• 5:41
  of
• 5:41
  us
• 5:41
  that
• 5:41
  know
• 5:42
  how
• 5:42
  to
• 5:42
  make
• 5:42
  that
• 5:42
  happen,
• 5:42
  how
• 5:43
  to
• 5:43
  manage
• 5:43
  our
• 5:43
  lives.
• 5:44
  We
• 5:44
  also
• 5:45
  have
• 5:45
  protectors
• 5:46
  that
• 5:46
  are
• 5:46
  commonly
• 5:46
  referred
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  as
• 5:47
  saboteurs,
• 5:48
  or
• 5:48
  maybe
• 5:50
  underminers,
• 5:50
  or
• 5:50
  people
• 5:50
  who
• 5:50
  maybe
• 5:50
  undermine
• 5:51
  the
• 5:51
  things
• 5:51
  we're
• 5:51
  trying
• 5:52
  to
• 5:52
  do.
• 5:53
  These
• 5:53
  are
• 5:53
  the
• 5:53
  ones
• 5:53
  that
• 5:53
  are
• 5:53
  typically
• 5:54
  a
• 5:54
  little
• 5:54
  bit
• 5:54
  more
• 5:54
  problematic,
• 5:55
  things
• 5:56
  that
• 5:56
  we
• 5:56
  can
• 5:56
  get
• 5:56
  frustrated
• 5:57
  with.
• 5:57
  So
• 5:58
  we
• 5:58
  have
• 5:58
  these
• 5:58
  protector
• 5:59
  parts
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  are
• 5:59
  both
• 5:59
  allies
• 6:00
  and
• 6:00
  saboteurs,
• 6:00
  so
• 6:01
  both
• 6:01
  the
• 6:01
  challenging
• 6:02
  and
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  helpers,
• 6:05
  and
• 6:05
  then
• 6:05
  they're
• 6:05
  called
• 6:05
  protectors
• 6:06
  because
• 6:07
  they
• 6:07
  are
• 6:07
  protecting
• 6:08
  something.
• 6:09
  So
• 6:09
  the
• 6:09
  second
• 6:10
  type
• 6:10
  of
• 6:10
  part
• 6:11
  is,
• 6:11
  I
• 6:12
  refer
• 6:12
  to
• 6:12
  it
• 6:12
  as
• 6:12
  the
• 6:12
  little,
• 6:13
  internal
• 6:13
  family
• 6:14
  systems
• 6:14
  refers
• 6:15
  to
• 6:15
  it
• 6:15
  as
• 6:15
  the
• 6:15
  exile,
• 6:16
  but
• 6:16
  it's
• 6:16
  the
• 6:17
  younger
• 6:18
  inner
• 6:18
  child,
• 6:19
  the
• 6:19
  more
• 6:19
  vulnerable
• 6:20
  parts
• 6:21
  of
• 6:21
  ourselves
• 6:22
  that
• 6:22
  we
• 6:22
  don't
• 6:22
  like
• 6:23
  to
• 6:23
  hang
• 6:23
  out
• 6:23
  with
• 6:24
  because
• 6:24
  they
• 6:24
  hold
• 6:25
  a
• 6:25
  lot
• 6:25
  of
• 6:25
  our
• 6:25
  pain.
• 6:26
  And
• 6:26
  so
• 6:26
  we
• 6:26
  tend
• 6:26
  to
• 6:27
  disown
• 6:27
  them,
• 6:27
  like
• 6:27
  we'll
• 6:27
  literally
• 6:28
  tend
• 6:28
  to
• 6:28
  like
• 6:28
  push
• 6:28
  them
• 6:29
  down
• 6:29
  the
• 6:29
  basement
• 6:29
  stairs
• 6:30
  or
• 6:30
  push
• 6:30
  them
• 6:30
  into
• 6:30
  the
• 6:30
  corner.
• 6:31
  Like
• 6:31
  we
• 6:31
  don't
• 6:31
  want
• 6:32
  to
• 6:32
  be
• 6:32
  engaged
• 6:33
  with
• 6:33
  those
• 6:33
  littles
• 6:34
  because
• 6:34
  they're
• 6:34
  holding
• 6:35
  the
• 6:35
  pure
• 6:36
  pain,
• 6:37
  from
• 6:37
  just
• 6:37
  being
• 6:38
  a
• 6:38
  human
• 6:38
  being
• 6:38
  in
• 6:39
  this
• 6:39
  world.
• 6:40
  so
• 6:40
  that's
• 6:40
  the
• 6:40
  second
• 6:41
  type
• 6:41
  of
• 6:41
  part
• 6:41
  is
• 6:41
  a
• 6:41
  little,
• 6:42
  and
• 6:42
  I,
• 6:42
  I
• 6:42
  would
• 6:42
  love
• 6:42
  at
• 6:43
  some
• 6:43
  point
• 6:43
  how
• 6:43
  this
• 6:43
  fits
• 6:43
  in
• 6:43
  to
• 6:44
  actually
• 6:44
  talk
• 6:44
  about
• 6:44
  how
• 6:44
  do
• 6:45
  you
• 6:45
  work
• 6:45
  with
• 6:45
  the
• 6:45
  littles
• 6:45
  in
• 6:46
  coaching
• 6:46
  because
• 6:46
  the
• 6:47
  littles.
• 6:48
  a
• 6:48
  really
• 6:48
  important
• 6:49
  part
• 6:49
  of
• 6:49
  overcoming
• 6:50
  some
• 6:51
  of
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  just
• 6:51
  challenges
• 6:52
  we
• 6:52
  have
• 6:52
  as
• 6:52
  humans,
• 6:53
  challenges
• 6:53
  we
• 6:53
  have
• 6:53
  as
• 6:53
  we're
• 6:54
  running
• 6:54
  businesses,
• 6:54
  having
• 6:55
  jobs,
• 6:55
  like,
• 6:55
  so
• 6:55
  we've
• 6:56
  got
• 6:56
  to
• 6:56
  deal
• 6:56
  with
• 6:56
  the
• 6:56
  littles.
• 6:57
  And
• 6:57
  then
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  third
• 6:58
  kind
• 6:58
  of
• 6:58
  part
• 6:59
  is
• 7:00
  The
• 7:00
  authentic
• 7:00
  self.
• 7:01
  I
• 7:01
  call
• 7:01
  it
• 7:01
  the
• 7:02
  authentic
• 7:02
  self.
• 7:02
  You
• 7:02
  may
• 7:03
  refer
• 7:03
  to
• 7:03
  it
• 7:03
  as
• 7:03
  your
• 7:03
  higher
• 7:04
  self,
• 7:04
  your
• 7:04
  divine
• 7:05
  self,
• 7:05
  your
• 7:05
  essential
• 7:06
  self.
• 7:06
  Like
• 7:06
  there's
• 7:06
  a
• 7:06
  bunch
• 7:07
  of
• 7:07
  different
• 7:07
  ways
• 7:07
  to
• 7:07
  refer
• 7:08
  to
• 7:08
  it,
• 7:08
  but
• 7:08
  it
• 7:09
  is
• 7:09
  the
• 7:09
  part
• 7:09
  of
• 7:09
  us
• 7:10
  that
• 7:11
  is,
• 7:11
  it
• 7:12
  holds
• 7:12
  our
• 7:12
  capacity
• 7:14
  for
• 7:14
  self
• 7:14
  compassion.
• 7:15
  It
• 7:15
  is
• 7:15
  our
• 7:15
  wisest
• 7:16
  part.
• 7:17
  It
• 7:17
  is
• 7:17
  the
• 7:17
  part
• 7:17
  that
• 7:17
  holds
• 7:17
  our
• 7:18
  deepest
• 7:18
  inner
• 7:18
  knowing
• 7:19
  and
• 7:20
  it
• 7:20
  is
• 7:20
  calm.
• 7:22
  It
• 7:22
  is
• 7:22
  curious
• 7:23
  and
• 7:23
  it
• 7:23
  is
• 7:23
  compassionate.
• 7:25
  And
• 7:25
  it
• 7:25
  is
• 7:25
  like
• 7:25
  our
• 7:26
  deepest
• 7:26
  inner
• 7:26
  leader.
• 7:28
  Oh,
• 7:28
  when
• 7:29
  you
• 7:29
  talk
• 7:29
  about
• 7:29
  that
• 7:29
  authentic
• 7:30
  self,
• 7:30
  I
• 7:30
  just
• 7:30
  get
• 7:30
  this
• 7:30
  image
• 7:31
  of
• 7:31
  like
• 7:31
  the
• 7:31
  future
• 7:32
  me,
• 7:32
  the
• 7:32
  really
• 7:33
  wise
• 7:33
  me
• 7:34
  who
• 7:34
  just
• 7:34
  wants
• 7:34
  to
• 7:34
  love
• 7:35
  me
• 7:35
  and
• 7:35
  say,
• 7:35
  it's
• 7:35
  going
• 7:35
  to
• 7:35
  be
• 7:36
  okay.
• 7:36
  I
• 7:36
  see
• 7:36
  the
• 7:36
  future.
• 7:37
  Like
• 7:37
  I
• 7:37
  know
• 7:38
  what's
• 7:38
  coming.
• 7:38
  It's
• 7:39
  going
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  be
• 7:39
  all
• 7:39
  right.
• 7:39
  And
• 7:39
  that's
• 7:39
  kind
• 7:40
  of
• 7:40
  what
• 7:40
  we
• 7:40
  try
• 7:40
  to
• 7:40
  channel
• 7:40
  a
• 7:40
  lot
• 7:41
  in,
• 7:41
  In
• 7:41
  coaching
• 7:42
  sessions,
• 7:42
  when
• 7:43
  we're
• 7:43
  going
• 7:43
  into
• 7:43
  something
• 7:44
  really
• 7:44
  scary,
• 7:44
  like
• 7:45
  building
• 7:45
  a
• 7:45
  business,
• 7:45
  right?
• 7:46
  Yes.
• 7:47
  Often
• 7:47
  referred
• 7:47
  to
• 7:47
  in
• 7:47
  the
• 7:48
  coaching
• 7:48
  practices
• 7:49
  or
• 7:49
  coaching
• 7:49
  worlds
• 7:50
  as
• 7:50
  the
• 7:50
  inner
• 7:50
  leader,
• 7:51
  like
• 7:51
  our
• 7:51
  deepest,
• 7:52
  strongest
• 7:53
  inner
• 7:53
  leader.
• 7:53
  And
• 7:53
  that's
• 7:54
  exactly
• 7:54
  what
• 7:55
  it
• 7:55
  is.
• 7:56
  And
• 7:56
  you
• 7:56
  know,
• 7:57
  the
• 7:57
  reason
• 7:57
  life
• 7:57
  is
• 7:57
  even
• 7:58
  challenging.
• 7:58
  It's
• 7:58
  like,
• 7:58
  well,
• 7:59
  if
• 7:59
  you
• 7:59
  have
• 7:59
  an
• 7:59
  inner
• 7:59
  leader,
• 8:00
  just
• 8:00
  like.
• 8:00
  Let
• 8:00
  it
• 8:00
  lead
• 8:01
  all
• 8:01
  the
• 8:01
  time.
• 8:02
  Well,
• 8:03
  unfortunately,
• 8:03
  some
• 8:03
  people
• 8:04
  I
• 8:04
  wish,
• 8:04
  like,
• 8:04
  would
• 8:04
  she
• 8:05
  just
• 8:05
  be
• 8:05
  a
• 8:05
  little
• 8:05
  more
• 8:06
  bossy
• 8:06
  and
• 8:06
  just
• 8:06
  like,
• 8:06
  take
• 8:07
  over
• 8:07
  But
• 8:07
  the
• 8:07
  reality
• 8:08
  is
• 8:08
  that's
• 8:08
  just
• 8:09
  not
• 8:09
  how
• 8:09
  it
• 8:09
  works.
• 8:09
  Our
• 8:09
  inner
• 8:09
  leaders,
• 8:10
  they,
• 8:10
  they
• 8:11
  just,
• 8:11
  they,
• 8:11
  they
• 8:11
  sit
• 8:11
  back
• 8:12
  and
• 8:12
  they're
• 8:12
  always
• 8:13
  available
• 8:14
  to
• 8:14
  us.
• 8:15
  Mm-Hmm.
• 8:15
  But
• 8:15
  it
• 8:15
  is
• 8:16
  our
• 8:16
  protector
• 8:16
  parts
• 8:17
  that
• 8:17
  tend
• 8:17
  to
• 8:18
  be
• 8:18
  more
• 8:18
  aggressive
• 8:18
  and
• 8:19
  will
• 8:19
  jump
• 8:19
  into
• 8:19
  the
• 8:19
  driver's
• 8:20
  seat
• 8:20
  and
• 8:20
  our
• 8:20
  authentic
• 8:21
  self
• 8:21
  will
• 8:21
  be
• 8:21
  like,
• 8:22
  okay.
• 8:23
  You
• 8:23
  know,
• 8:23
  you
• 8:23
  go
• 8:23
  ahead
• 8:23
  and
• 8:24
  do
• 8:24
  what
• 8:24
  you
• 8:24
  need
• 8:24
  to
• 8:24
  do.
• 8:24
  I'm
• 8:24
  here
• 8:25
  when
• 8:25
  you
• 8:25
  need
• 8:25
  me.
• 8:26
  Interesting.
• 8:27
  So
• 8:27
  let's
• 8:27
  talk
• 8:27
  about
• 8:28
  the
• 8:28
  protector
• 8:28
  for
• 8:28
  a
• 8:28
  second
• 8:28
  because
• 8:29
  that's
• 8:29
  one
• 8:29
  I
• 8:29
  haven't
• 8:29
  really
• 8:29
  encountered
• 8:30
  a
• 8:30
  lot
• 8:30
  before.
• 8:31
  What,
• 8:31
  what
• 8:32
  is
• 8:32
  it
• 8:32
  typically
• 8:32
  protecting?
• 8:33
  Are
• 8:33
  we
• 8:33
  talking
• 8:33
  about
• 8:34
  like
• 8:34
  some
• 8:34
  of
• 8:34
  that
• 8:34
  hidden
• 8:35
  pain
• 8:35
  or
• 8:35
  what,
• 8:35
  what's
• 8:36
  going
• 8:36
  on
• 8:36
  there?
• 8:36
  Yeah.
• 8:36
  Yeah.
• 8:37
  It's
• 8:37
  pretty.
• 8:37
  So
• 8:37
  if
• 8:37
  you
• 8:37
  think
• 8:38
  of
• 8:38
  it
• 8:38
  as
• 8:38
  just
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  visual
• 8:39
  parts,
• 8:39
  like
• 8:39
  actual
• 8:40
  people,
• 8:40
  like
• 8:40
  actual
• 8:40
  parts
• 8:41
  of
• 8:41
  you
• 8:41
  imagine,
• 8:42
  you
• 8:42
  know,
• 8:43
  kind
• 8:43
  of
• 8:43
  a
• 8:43
  guard
• 8:43
  part
• 8:44
  of
• 8:44
  you,
• 8:44
  a
• 8:44
  protector
• 8:45
  part
• 8:45
  and
• 8:45
  behind
• 8:46
  that
• 8:46
  part.
• 8:47
  Is
• 8:48
  literally
• 8:49
  a
• 8:49
  child,
• 8:49
  like
• 8:49
  for
• 8:50
  you,
• 8:50
  it's
• 8:50
  probably
• 8:50
  going
• 8:50
  to
• 8:50
  be
• 8:51
  a
• 8:51
  little
• 8:51
  girl,
• 8:51
  a
• 8:51
  younger
• 8:52
  version
• 8:52
  of
• 8:52
  yourself
• 8:53
  that
• 8:53
  is
• 8:54
  holding
• 8:55
  pure
• 8:55
  pain.
• 8:56
  And
• 8:56
  when
• 8:57
  I
• 8:57
  say
• 8:57
  pure
• 8:57
  pain,
• 8:58
  that's,
• 8:58
  Martha
• 8:58
  Beck,
• 8:59
  I
• 8:59
  don't
• 8:59
  know
• 8:59
  if
• 8:59
  you're
• 8:59
  familiar
• 8:59
  with
• 8:59
  her
• 9:00
  as
• 9:00
  a
• 9:00
  coach.
• 9:00
  She
• 9:00
  talks
• 9:00
  about
• 9:00
  clean
• 9:01
  pain
• 9:01
  and
• 9:01
  dirty
• 9:01
  pain.
• 9:02
  And
• 9:02
  so,
• 9:03
  you
• 9:03
  know,
• 9:03
  dirty
• 9:03
  pain
• 9:04
  can
• 9:04
  be
• 9:04
  the
• 9:04
  pain
• 9:04
  that
• 9:05
  we
• 9:05
  tend
• 9:05
  to
• 9:06
  just
• 9:06
  generate
• 9:07
  with
• 9:07
  our
• 9:07
  thoughts
• 9:08
  over
• 9:08
  and
• 9:08
  over
• 9:08
  and
• 9:08
  over
• 9:09
  again.
• 9:09
  Like,
• 9:09
  oh,
• 9:10
  he's
• 9:10
  never
• 9:10
  going
• 9:10
  to
• 9:11
  love
• 9:11
  me.
• 9:11
  Oh,
• 9:11
  I'm
• 9:11
  never
• 9:11
  going
• 9:12
  to
• 9:12
  have
• 9:12
  a
• 9:12
  relationship.
• 9:13
  Or,
• 9:13
  oh,
• 9:13
  this
• 9:13
  is
• 9:13
  never
• 9:13
  good.
• 9:13
  Like,
• 9:14
  you're,
• 9:14
  you're,
• 9:14
  you're
• 9:15
  constantly
• 9:15
  reigniting
• 9:16
  the
• 9:16
  pain.
• 9:17
  We
• 9:17
  call
• 9:17
  that
• 9:17
  dirty
• 9:17
  pain
• 9:18
  because
• 9:18
  that's
• 9:18
  actually
• 9:18
  driven
• 9:18
  by
• 9:19
  a
• 9:19
  part.
• 9:20
  Right.
• 9:21
  Versus
• 9:22
  clean
• 9:22
  pain
• 9:23
  is
• 9:23
  our
• 9:23
  littles
• 9:24
  are
• 9:24
  holding
• 9:25
  just
• 9:25
  the
• 9:26
  pure
• 9:27
  fear.
• 9:28
  It
• 9:28
  might
• 9:28
  be
• 9:28
  in
• 9:28
  that
• 9:28
  example,
• 9:29
  it
• 9:29
  might
• 9:29
  be
• 9:29
  something
• 9:29
  like,
• 9:30
  like
• 9:31
  I'm
• 9:31
  never
• 9:31
  going
• 9:32
  to
• 9:32
  belong.
• 9:33
  I'm
• 9:34
  never
• 9:34
  going
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  be
• 9:36
  a
• 9:36
  part
• 9:36
  of
• 9:36
  a
• 9:36
  community.
• 9:37
  I
• 9:37
  am
• 9:37
  going
• 9:37
  to
• 9:37
  be
• 9:38
  rejected
• 9:38
  and
• 9:39
  abandoned.
• 9:39
  And
• 9:40
  there's
• 9:40
  a
• 9:40
  pure
• 9:41
  fear
• 9:42
  that
• 9:42
  is
• 9:42
  very
• 9:43
  human.
• 9:44
  You
• 9:44
  know,
• 9:44
  he,
• 9:45
  it
• 9:45
  can
• 9:45
  be
• 9:45
  straight,
• 9:46
  straight
• 9:46
  up
• 9:46
  primal
• 9:46
  human
• 9:47
  fear.
• 9:47
  And
• 9:47
  it
• 9:47
  can
• 9:47
  also
• 9:48
  come
• 9:48
  from
• 9:48
  trauma,
• 9:49
  whatever
• 9:49
  your
• 9:49
  past
• 9:49
  traumas
• 9:50
  are.
• 9:50
  So
• 9:50
  it's
• 9:50
  just,
• 9:51
  and
• 9:51
  you're
• 9:51
  funny.
• 9:51
  I
• 9:51
  don't
• 9:51
  know
• 9:51
  if
• 9:52
  you
• 9:52
  notice
• 9:52
  like
• 9:52
  my
• 9:53
  voice
• 9:53
  slows
• 9:53
  down
• 9:54
  when
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  talk
• 9:54
  about
• 9:54
  the
• 9:55
  little,
• 9:55
  right.
• 9:55
  Cause
• 9:55
  it's
• 9:55
  just
• 9:56
  like,
• 9:56
  it's
• 9:56
  such
• 9:56
  a
• 9:57
  precious.
• 9:58
  Vulnerable
• 9:59
  tender
• 10:00
  part
• 10:00
  of
• 10:00
  us
• 10:02
  because
• 10:02
  of
• 10:03
  that
• 10:03
  precious
• 10:03
  vulnerability.
• 10:05
  We
• 10:05
  have
• 10:05
  a
• 10:05
  whole
• 10:06
  host
• 10:06
  of
• 10:06
  protectors
• 10:08
  that
• 10:08
  keep
• 10:08
  her
• 10:09
  from
• 10:09
  coming
• 10:09
  to
• 10:09
  the
• 10:10
  surface
• 10:10
  so
• 10:10
  that
• 10:10
  we
• 10:10
  don't
• 10:10
  have
• 10:11
  to
• 10:11
  feel
• 10:12
  what
• 10:12
  that
• 10:12
  part
• 10:12
  of
• 10:13
  us
• 10:13
  is
• 10:13
  holding.
• 10:14
  Yeah.
• 10:15
  And
• 10:15
  when
• 10:15
  you
• 10:15
  talk
• 10:15
  about
• 10:15
  that
• 10:15
  little,
• 10:16
  I
• 10:16
  think,
• 10:16
  Oh,
• 10:17
  that's
• 10:17
  why
• 10:17
  it
• 10:17
  feels
• 10:17
  the
• 10:17
  way
• 10:18
  it
• 10:18
  does
• 10:18
  when
• 10:18
  I
• 10:18
  leave
• 10:18
  a
• 10:18
  therapy
• 10:19
  session
• 10:19
  where
• 10:19
  I
• 10:19
  need
• 10:20
  to
• 10:20
  go
• 10:20
  like,
• 10:21
  kind
• 10:21
  of
• 10:21
  calmer
• 10:22
  back
• 10:22
  down
• 10:22
  and
• 10:22
  put
• 10:22
  her,
• 10:22
  put
• 10:22
  her
• 10:23
  back
• 10:23
  away.
• 10:24
  Yes.
• 10:25
  Exactly.
• 10:25
  Open
• 10:25
  up.
• 10:26
  And
• 10:26
  you're
• 10:26
  like,
• 10:26
  Oh,
• 10:26
  I
• 10:27
  actually
• 10:27
  can't
• 10:27
  function
• 10:27
  like
• 10:27
  this.
• 10:28
  Yeah.
• 10:29
  Yes.
• 10:29
  Yes.
• 10:30
  We
• 10:30
  don't,
• 10:30
  most
• 10:31
  of
• 10:31
  us
• 10:31
  don't
• 10:31
  go
• 10:31
  there
• 10:32
  willingly
• 10:32
  a
• 10:32
  lot.
• 10:33
  Right.
• 10:35
  Exactly.
• 10:35
  And
• 10:35
  that's
• 10:36
  where
• 10:36
  I
• 10:36
  get
• 10:36
  so
• 10:36
  passionate
• 10:37
  about
• 10:37
  this
• 10:37
  work,
• 10:37
  because
• 10:38
  if
• 10:38
  we
• 10:38
  were
• 10:39
  willing
• 10:39
  to
• 10:39
  learn
• 10:39
  the
• 10:40
  skills
• 10:40
  of
• 10:40
  how
• 10:40
  to
• 10:41
  go
• 10:41
  there
• 10:41
  safely,
• 10:42
  how
• 10:42
  to
• 10:43
  go
• 10:43
  there
• 10:43
  without
• 10:43
  retraumatizing
• 10:44
  ourselves,
• 10:45
  it
• 10:45
  actually
• 10:46
  gives
• 10:46
  us
• 10:46
  access
• 10:47
  to
• 10:48
  the
• 10:48
  best
• 10:48
  parts
• 10:49
  of
• 10:49
  ourselves
• 10:49
  that
• 10:49
  can
• 10:50
  create
• 10:50
  whatever
• 10:50
  we
• 10:50
  want
• 10:51
  to
• 10:51
  in
• 10:51
  this
• 10:51
  world.
• 10:51
  Right.
• 10:51
  It's
• 10:52
  just.
• 10:53
  Yeah.
• 10:53
  Yeah.
• 10:54
  We
• 10:54
  need
• 10:54
  to
• 10:54
  have
• 10:54
  the
• 10:54
  skills
• 10:54
  to
• 10:54
  go
• 10:55
  there
• 10:55
  more.
• 10:56
  Yeah.
• 10:56
  Yeah.
• 10:56
  And
• 10:57
  then
• 10:57
  that
• 10:57
  protector
• 10:57
  maybe
• 10:57
  doesn't
• 10:58
  have
• 10:58
  to
• 10:58
  work
• 10:58
  so
• 10:58
  hard
• 10:59
  because
• 11:00
  a
• 11:00
  hundred
• 11:00
  percent
• 11:00
  that
• 11:01
  little
• 11:01
  is
• 11:01
  a
• 11:01
  little
• 11:01
  more
• 11:01
  accessible.
• 11:02
  Okay.
• 11:02
  All
• 11:02
  right.
• 11:03
  So
• 11:03
  let's
• 11:03
  talk
• 11:03
  about
• 11:03
  that
• 11:03
  little,
• 11:04
  a
• 11:04
  little
• 11:04
  bit.
• 11:04
  And
• 11:04
  you
• 11:04
  mentioned
• 11:05
  understanding
• 11:06
  how
• 11:06
  to
• 11:06
  deal
• 11:06
  with
• 11:07
  that
• 11:07
  in
• 11:07
  a
• 11:07
  coaching
• 11:07
  scenario.
• 11:08
  How
• 11:08
  can
• 11:08
  you
• 11:08
  help
• 11:08
  us
• 11:08
  understand
• 11:09
  that?
• 11:09
  Yeah,
• 11:10
  so,
• 11:11
  so
• 11:11
  in
• 11:12
  internal
• 11:12
  family
• 11:12
  systems,
• 11:13
  when
• 11:13
  they
• 11:13
  talk
• 11:13
  about
• 11:13
  the
• 11:13
  exile
• 11:14
  or
• 11:14
  the
• 11:14
  little,
• 11:15
  part
• 11:15
  of
• 11:15
  the
• 11:15
  goal
• 11:16
  in
• 11:16
  the
• 11:16
  therapeutic
• 11:17
  model
• 11:17
  is
• 11:18
  that
• 11:18
  you
• 11:18
  are
• 11:18
  doing
• 11:18
  what's
• 11:18
  called
• 11:19
  unburdening
• 11:20
  the
• 11:20
  little.
• 11:20
  You're
• 11:20
  actually
• 11:21
  getting
• 11:21
  into
• 11:21
  their
• 11:21
  traumas,
• 11:22
  into
• 11:22
  their
• 11:22
  stories,
• 11:23
  letting
• 11:23
  them
• 11:23
  tell
• 11:24
  that
• 11:24
  trauma
• 11:24
  story
• 11:25
  so
• 11:25
  that
• 11:25
  it
• 11:25
  can
• 11:26
  be
• 11:26
  healed
• 11:26
  and
• 11:26
  then
• 11:26
  integrated
• 11:27
  into
• 11:28
  the
• 11:28
  whole,
• 11:28
  so
• 11:29
  that's,
• 11:29
  that's
• 11:30
  the
• 11:30
  therapy
• 11:30
  version.
• 11:32
  The,
• 11:32
  mistake
• 11:33
  I've
• 11:33
  seen,
• 11:34
  a
• 11:34
  lot
• 11:34
  of
• 11:34
  coaches
• 11:35
  make,
• 11:35
  especially
• 11:35
  as
• 11:35
  I've
• 11:35
  started
• 11:36
  teaching,
• 11:36
  parts
• 11:36
  work
• 11:37
  or
• 11:37
  people
• 11:37
  that
• 11:37
  are
• 11:37
  new
• 11:38
  to
• 11:38
  learning
• 11:38
  parts
• 11:38
  work
• 11:39
  is
• 11:40
  that
• 11:40
  because
• 11:41
  there's
• 11:41
  this
• 11:41
  line
• 11:42
  that
• 11:42
  they're
• 11:42
  like,
• 11:43
  coaching
• 11:43
  is
• 11:43
  not
• 11:43
  therapy.
• 11:44
  Then
• 11:44
  there's
• 11:45
  a
• 11:45
  sense
• 11:45
  of
• 11:45
  like,
• 11:45
  well,
• 11:45
  I
• 11:45
  can't
• 11:46
  have
• 11:46
  anything
• 11:46
  to
• 11:46
  do
• 11:46
  with
• 11:47
  the
• 11:47
  little,
• 11:47
  because
• 11:48
  she's
• 11:48
  holding
• 11:48
  all
• 11:48
  of
• 11:48
  the
• 11:48
  trauma.
• 11:49
  I'm
• 11:49
  not
• 11:49
  supposed
• 11:50
  to
• 11:50
  get
• 11:50
  into
• 11:50
  the
• 11:50
  story.
• 11:51
  And
• 11:52
  I
• 11:52
  push
• 11:52
  on
• 11:53
  that
• 11:54
  and.
• 11:54
  What
• 11:55
  I
• 11:55
  mean
• 11:55
  by
• 11:55
  that
• 11:55
  is
• 11:55
  I
• 11:55
  still
• 11:56
  never
• 11:56
  work
• 11:56
  with
• 11:56
  my
• 11:57
  clients
• 11:57
  or
• 11:57
  encourage
• 11:58
  my,
• 11:58
  my
• 11:58
  coaches
• 11:59
  to,
• 11:59
  to
• 11:59
  get
• 11:59
  into
• 12:00
  the
• 12:00
  little
• 12:00
  story,
• 12:01
  but
• 12:02
  if
• 12:02
  you
• 12:02
  overshoot
• 12:03
  it
• 12:03
  and
• 12:03
  you
• 12:03
  just
• 12:04
  pretend
• 12:04
  a
• 12:04
  little
• 12:04
  doesn't
• 12:05
  exist
• 12:05
  at
• 12:05
  all,
• 12:06
  that's
• 12:07
  when
• 12:07
  you,
• 12:08
  you
• 12:08
  don't
• 12:08
  have
• 12:08
  any
• 12:08
  space
• 12:09
  for
• 12:09
  healing
• 12:09
  or
• 12:09
  growth.
• 12:10
  And
• 12:10
  so
• 12:10
  in
• 12:10
  the
• 12:11
  coaching
• 12:11
  world.
• 12:12
  The
• 12:13
  mantra
• 12:13
  is
• 12:13
  you
• 12:14
  acknowledge
• 12:15
  the
• 12:15
  existence
• 12:15
  of
• 12:15
  the
• 12:16
  little,
• 12:17
  I'm
• 12:17
  not
• 12:17
  going
• 12:17
  to
• 12:17
  talk
• 12:17
  to
• 12:17
  her
• 12:18
  about
• 12:18
  her
• 12:18
  story.
• 12:19
  I'm
• 12:19
  not
• 12:19
  going
• 12:19
  to
• 12:19
  talk
• 12:19
  to
• 12:19
  her
• 12:19
  about
• 12:20
  her
• 12:20
  pain.
• 12:20
  Like
• 12:20
  if
• 12:20
  I
• 12:20
  was
• 12:21
  coaching
• 12:21
  you,
• 12:22
  I'm
• 12:22
  not
• 12:22
  going
• 12:23
  to
• 12:23
  coach
• 12:23
  you
• 12:23
  into
• 12:24
  the,
• 12:24
  the,
• 12:25
  the
• 12:25
  trauma
• 12:25
  story
• 12:26
  of
• 12:26
  your
• 12:26
  little,
• 12:27
  right?
• 12:27
  That's
• 12:27
  going
• 12:27
  to
• 12:27
  be
• 12:27
  your
• 12:28
  therapist's
• 12:28
  job,
• 12:29
  but
• 12:29
  I
• 12:29
  am
• 12:30
  going
• 12:30
  to
• 12:30
  encourage
• 12:31
  you
• 12:31
  in
• 12:31
  whatever
• 12:31
  scenario
• 12:32
  you're
• 12:32
  bringing
• 12:32
  to
• 12:32
  me
• 12:33
  to
• 12:33
  acknowledge
• 12:34
  it.
• 12:34
  Who
• 12:35
  is
• 12:35
  the
• 12:35
  little
• 12:35
  underneath
• 12:36
  this
• 12:36
  that
• 12:37
  has
• 12:38
  the
• 12:38
  vulnerable
• 12:38
  emotion?
• 12:39
  Who
• 12:39
  has
• 12:39
  the
• 12:40
  fear?
• 12:40
  Who
• 12:40
  has
• 12:41
  the
• 12:41
  shame?
• 12:41
  Who
• 12:41
  has
• 12:42
  the,
• 12:42
  like,
• 12:42
  who
• 12:42
  is
• 12:43
  that?
• 12:44
  Can
• 12:44
  we
• 12:44
  get
• 12:44
  you
• 12:44
  to
• 12:45
  just
• 12:45
  turn
• 12:45
  to
• 12:46
  her
• 12:46
  and
• 12:46
  acknowledge
• 12:47
  her
• 12:47
  existence?
• 12:48
  That's
• 12:48
  step
• 12:49
  one,
• 12:49
  acknowledge
• 12:49
  she
• 12:49
  exists.
• 12:50
  Step
• 12:51
  two
• 12:51
  is
• 12:51
  nurturing.
• 12:53
  That
• 12:53
  you're
• 12:53
  not
• 12:54
  hearing
• 12:54
  the
• 12:54
  story,
• 12:55
  you're
• 12:55
  not
• 12:55
  solving
• 12:55
  the
• 12:55
  trauma,
• 12:56
  you
• 12:56
  are
• 12:56
  nurturing,
• 12:57
  meaning
• 12:58
  I'm
• 12:58
  just
• 12:58
  offering
• 12:59
  you
• 12:59
  gentle,
• 13:00
  tender
• 13:01
  energy
• 13:02
  and
• 13:02
  letting
• 13:03
  you
• 13:03
  know
• 13:03
  you're
• 13:03
  not
• 13:03
  alone.
• 13:04
  I'm
• 13:04
  acknowledging
• 13:05
  you
• 13:05
  and
• 13:05
  I'm
• 13:06
  sending
• 13:06
  you
• 13:06
  so
• 13:06
  much
• 13:06
  love.
• 13:07
  I'm
• 13:07
  not
• 13:07
  doing
• 13:07
  anything.
• 13:08
  I'm
• 13:08
  not
• 13:08
  fixing
• 13:09
  any
• 13:09
  problems.
• 13:10
  I'm
• 13:10
  simply
• 13:11
  being
• 13:11
  with
• 13:11
  you
• 13:12
  and
• 13:12
  letting
• 13:13
  you
• 13:13
  know
• 13:14
  you
• 13:14
  exist.
• 13:15
  I'm
• 13:16
  here.
• 13:17
  And
• 13:17
  it's
• 13:17
  okay
• 13:17
  right
• 13:18
  now.
• 13:19
  Oh,
• 13:19
  that
• 13:20
  is
• 13:20
  beautiful.
• 13:21
  And
• 13:21
  I
• 13:21
  love
• 13:22
  that
• 13:22
  distinction.
• 13:22
  Like,
• 13:23
  we're
• 13:23
  not
• 13:23
  going
• 13:23
  to
• 13:23
  dive
• 13:24
  in
• 13:24
  because
• 13:24
  we're
• 13:25
  not
• 13:26
  qualified
• 13:26
  to
• 13:26
  go
• 13:26
  into
• 13:27
  the
• 13:27
  trauma,
• 13:27
  but
• 13:28
  we
• 13:29
  can
• 13:29
  ignore
• 13:29
  her.
• 13:29
  She
• 13:30
  is
• 13:30
  sometimes
• 13:31
  crying
• 13:32
  very
• 13:32
  loudly
• 13:33
  for
• 13:33
  assistance
• 13:34
  and
• 13:34
  help
• 13:34
  and
• 13:34
  causing
• 13:35
  a
• 13:35
  lot
• 13:35
  of
• 13:35
  issues
• 13:35
  behind
• 13:36
  the,
• 13:36
  behind
• 13:36
  the
• 13:36
  scene.
• 13:37
  And
• 13:37
  it's
• 13:37
  so
• 13:37
  interesting
• 13:37
  because
• 13:39
  I
• 13:39
  talk
• 13:39
  about
• 13:39
  business
• 13:40
  all
• 13:40
  the
• 13:40
  time
• 13:40
  and
• 13:40
  you
• 13:40
  don't
• 13:41
  think
• 13:41
  there's
• 13:41
  a
• 13:41
  lot
• 13:41
  of
• 13:41
  emotional
• 13:42
  work
• 13:42
  to
• 13:42
  be
• 13:42
  done
• 13:42
  around
• 13:43
  business,
• 13:43
  but
• 13:43
  boy,
• 13:44
  is
• 13:44
  there
• 13:44
  ever,
• 13:44
  Oh,
• 13:46
  I
• 13:47
  have
• 13:47
  no
• 13:47
  idea
• 13:47
  what
• 13:47
  you're
• 13:47
  talking
• 13:48
  about,
• 13:48
  buddy.
• 13:50
  We
• 13:50
  actually
• 13:50
  did
• 13:50
  a
• 13:51
  social
• 13:51
  media
• 13:51
  post
• 13:51
  about
• 13:51
  this
• 13:52
  recently.
• 13:52
  There
• 13:52
  was
• 13:52
  a
• 13:52
  coach
• 13:52
  who
• 13:52
  was
• 13:53
  like,
• 13:53
  well,
• 13:53
  I
• 13:53
  just
• 13:53
  don't
• 13:53
  see
• 13:54
  a
• 13:54
  lot
• 13:54
  of,
• 13:54
  you
• 13:55
  know,
• 13:55
  need
• 13:55
  to
• 13:55
  really
• 13:55
  dive
• 13:56
  deep
• 13:56
  on
• 13:56
  the
• 13:56
  emotional
• 13:57
  side
• 13:57
  of
• 13:57
  things
• 13:57
  when
• 13:57
  building
• 13:58
  a
• 13:58
  business.
• 13:58
  I'm
• 13:58
  like,
• 13:58
  I
• 13:59
  do.
• 13:59
  Is
• 13:59
  it
• 14:00
  just
• 14:00
  me?
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  know
• 14:00
  it's
• 14:00
  not
• 14:01
  me
• 14:01
  because
• 14:01
  I
• 14:01
  have
• 14:01
  clients
• 14:02
  coming
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  me
• 14:03
  saying
• 14:03
  the
• 14:03
  same
• 14:03
  thing.
• 14:03
  I
• 14:03
  want
• 14:04
  to
• 14:04
  get
• 14:04
  started
• 14:04
  with
• 14:04
  this
• 14:05
  thing.
• 14:05
  And
• 14:05
  I
• 14:05
  just.
• 14:06
  I
• 14:06
  don't
• 14:06
  feel
• 14:06
  worthy
• 14:07
  or
• 14:07
  I
• 14:07
  start
• 14:07
  to
• 14:07
  cry
• 14:08
  every
• 14:08
  time
• 14:08
  or
• 14:09
  something
• 14:09
  is
• 14:09
  coming
• 14:10
  up.
• 14:10
  And,
• 14:11
  my
• 14:11
  next
• 14:11
  question
• 14:11
  for
• 14:12
  you
• 14:12
  was
• 14:12
  going
• 14:12
  to
• 14:12
  be,
• 14:12
  how
• 14:13
  do
• 14:13
  we,
• 14:13
  how
• 14:13
  do
• 14:13
  we
• 14:13
  allow
• 14:14
  for
• 14:14
  more
• 14:14
  self
• 14:14
  compassion
• 14:15
  with
• 14:15
  ourselves?
• 14:15
  But
• 14:15
  I
• 14:15
  think
• 14:15
  you
• 14:15
  already
• 14:16
  hit
• 14:16
  on
• 14:16
  it.
• 14:16
  It's
• 14:16
  just
• 14:17
  acknowledging
• 14:17
  that
• 14:17
  she's
• 14:17
  there.
• 14:18
  Yeah,
• 14:19
  100%.
• 14:20
  And
• 14:20
  you
• 14:20
  know,
• 14:20
  the
• 14:21
  metaphor
• 14:21
  that
• 14:22
  I'll
• 14:22
  use
• 14:22
  with
• 14:22
  my
• 14:22
  clients
• 14:23
  and
• 14:23
  so
• 14:24
  say
• 14:24
  this
• 14:24
  to
• 14:24
  your
• 14:25
  listeners
• 14:25
  as
• 14:25
  well
• 14:25
  is
• 14:26
  to
• 14:26
  imagine
• 14:26
  if
• 14:27
  you
• 14:27
  were
• 14:27
  to
• 14:27
  walk
• 14:27
  up
• 14:28
  and
• 14:28
  see
• 14:29
  a
• 14:29
  small
• 14:29
  child
• 14:30
  sitting
• 14:30
  on
• 14:30
  the
• 14:30
  edge
• 14:31
  of
• 14:31
  a
• 14:31
  sidewalk,
• 14:32
  and
• 14:32
  that
• 14:32
  child
• 14:33
  was
• 14:33
  crying,
• 14:34
  maybe
• 14:34
  they're
• 14:34
  holding
• 14:34
  a
• 14:35
  stuffed
• 14:35
  animal,
• 14:36
  you
• 14:36
  know,
• 14:36
  what
• 14:37
  would
• 14:37
  you
• 14:37
  do?
• 14:38
  Most
• 14:38
  of
• 14:39
  us
• 14:39
  would,
• 14:40
  well,
• 14:41
  actually
• 14:41
  the
• 14:41
  first
• 14:41
  impulse
• 14:41
  would
• 14:42
  be,
• 14:42
  okay,
• 14:42
  what's
• 14:42
  going
• 14:42
  on?
• 14:43
  How
• 14:43
  do
• 14:43
  I
• 14:43
  fix
• 14:43
  this?
• 14:43
  Right?
• 14:44
  Where's
• 14:44
  the
• 14:44
  parent?
• 14:45
  Right?
• 14:45
  Where's
• 14:45
  the
• 14:45
  parent?
• 14:45
  Right?
• 14:46
  But
• 14:46
  aside
• 14:47
  from
• 14:47
  that,
• 14:47
  assuming
• 14:47
  there's
• 14:47
  no
• 14:48
  fixing,
• 14:48
  you're
• 14:49
  not
• 14:49
  fixing,
• 14:50
  what
• 14:50
  would
• 14:50
  we
• 14:50
  do?
• 14:51
  Oh
• 14:51
  my
• 14:51
  gosh,
• 14:52
  we
• 14:52
  would
• 14:52
  go
• 14:52
  up
• 14:52
  and
• 14:52
  sit
• 14:53
  next
• 14:53
  to
• 14:53
  that
• 14:53
  child.
• 14:54
  We
• 14:54
  would
• 14:54
  put
• 14:54
  our
• 14:54
  arm
• 14:55
  around
• 14:55
  that
• 14:55
  child.
• 14:56
  We
• 14:56
  would
• 14:56
  comfort
• 14:57
  that
• 14:57
  child.
• 14:57
  We
• 14:58
  would
• 14:58
  let
• 14:58
  them
• 14:58
  cry.
• 14:59
  We
• 15:00
  would
• 15:00
  let
• 15:00
  them
• 15:00
  just,
• 15:00
  Hey,
• 15:01
  I'm
• 15:01
  here.
• 15:01
  I
• 15:01
  got
• 15:01
  you.
• 15:02
  Right.
• 15:03
  So
• 15:03
  that
• 15:03
  they
• 15:03
  can,
• 15:03
  they
• 15:03
  can
• 15:04
  get
• 15:04
  themselves
• 15:04
  regulated
• 15:05
  and
• 15:05
  then,
• 15:05
  you
• 15:06
  know,
• 15:06
  knowing
• 15:06
  how
• 15:06
  to
• 15:06
  move
• 15:06
  forward.
• 15:07
  I
• 15:08
  define
• 15:08
  self
• 15:08
  compassion
• 15:09
  as
• 15:09
  the
• 15:09
  gentle
• 15:10
  nurturing
• 15:10
  energy
• 15:11
  that
• 15:11
  we
• 15:11
  offer
• 15:11
  to
• 15:11
  our
• 15:11
  parts
• 15:11
  of
• 15:12
  self.
• 15:13
  In
• 15:13
  this
• 15:13
  context,
• 15:14
  we're
• 15:14
  talking
• 15:14
  about
• 15:14
  offering
• 15:15
  gentle
• 15:15
  nurturing
• 15:15
  energy
• 15:16
  to
• 15:16
  the
• 15:16
  little,
• 15:17
  the
• 15:17
  little
• 15:17
  sitting
• 15:17
  on
• 15:17
  the
• 15:17
  sidewalk,
• 15:18
  but
• 15:18
  we
• 15:19
  also
• 15:19
  offer
• 15:20
  gentle
• 15:20
  nurturing
• 15:20
  energy
• 15:21
  to
• 15:21
  our
• 15:21
  parts.
• 15:22
  Like
• 15:22
  we
• 15:22
  have
• 15:22
  an
• 15:22
  inner
• 15:23
  critic
• 15:23
  that
• 15:23
  is
• 15:23
  just
• 15:24
  eviscerating
• 15:24
  us
• 15:24
  all
• 15:25
  the
• 15:25
  time.
• 15:26
  Most
• 15:26
  of
• 15:26
  us
• 15:26
  want
• 15:26
  to
• 15:26
  be
• 15:26
  like,
• 15:26
  Oh
• 15:27
  my
• 15:27
  God,
• 15:27
  get
• 15:27
  her
• 15:27
  off
• 15:28
  the
• 15:28
  bus.
• 15:29
  Yeah.
• 15:30
  Shut
• 15:30
  up.
• 15:31
  I'll
• 15:31
  get
• 15:31
  on
• 15:31
  a
• 15:32
  soapbox.
• 15:32
  There's
• 15:32
  a
• 15:32
  lot
• 15:32
  of
• 15:32
  people
• 15:33
  that
• 15:33
  say,
• 15:33
  like,
• 15:33
  just
• 15:33
  shut
• 15:34
  up
• 15:34
  your
• 15:34
  inner
• 15:34
  critic.
• 15:34
  No,
• 15:35
  you
• 15:35
  actually
• 15:35
  build
• 15:36
  a
• 15:36
  relationship
• 15:37
  with
• 15:37
  your
• 15:37
  inner
• 15:37
  critic.
• 15:38
  You
• 15:38
  offer
• 15:38
  it
• 15:39
  compassion.
• 15:39
  You
• 15:39
  offer
• 15:40
  it
• 15:40
  understanding.
• 15:41
  You
• 15:41
  get
• 15:41
  to,
• 15:41
  you
• 15:42
  get
• 15:42
  curious
• 15:42
  about
• 15:43
  what's
• 15:43
  going
• 15:43
  on
• 15:43
  with
• 15:43
  this
• 15:44
  critic.
• 15:44
  What
• 15:44
  is
• 15:44
  it
• 15:44
  really
• 15:45
  trying
• 15:45
  to
• 15:45
  do
• 15:45
  here?
• 15:46
  And
• 15:46
  you're
• 15:46
  still
• 15:47
  offering
• 15:47
  tender,
• 15:48
  nurturing
• 15:48
  energy
• 15:49
  to
• 15:49
  that
• 15:49
  part
• 15:49
  as
• 15:49
  well.
• 15:50
  As
• 15:50
  well
• 15:50
  as
• 15:50
  the
• 15:51
  part
• 15:51
  that
• 15:51
  it's,
• 15:51
  the
• 15:51
  little
• 15:52
  that
• 15:52
  it's
• 15:52
  protecting
• 15:53
  that's
• 15:53
  behind
• 15:53
  it.
• 15:54
  Yes.
• 15:55
  Oh
• 15:55
  my
• 15:55
  goodness.
• 15:55
  This
• 15:55
  is
• 15:56
  reminding
• 15:56
  me
• 15:56
  of
• 15:56
  an
• 15:56
  experience
• 15:57
  I
• 15:57
  had
• 15:57
  not
• 15:57
  long
• 15:57
  ago
• 15:57
  where
• 15:58
  I
• 15:58
  made
• 15:59
  a
• 15:59
  mistake
• 15:59
  and
• 15:59
  all,
• 16:00
  all
• 16:00
  this.
• 16:01
  Junk
• 16:01
  came
• 16:01
  up.
• 16:01
  There
• 16:02
  was
• 16:02
  shame
• 16:02
  and
• 16:02
  there
• 16:02
  was
• 16:03
  fear
• 16:03
  and
• 16:03
  there
• 16:03
  was
• 16:03
  sadness
• 16:04
  and
• 16:04
  everything.
• 16:04
  And
• 16:05
  just,
• 16:05
  I
• 16:05
  was
• 16:05
  actually
• 16:06
  really
• 16:06
  grateful
• 16:06
  for
• 16:06
  it.
• 16:06
  It
• 16:07
  felt
• 16:07
  awful.
• 16:07
  But
• 16:07
  as
• 16:08
  a
• 16:08
  coach,
• 16:08
  I
• 16:08
  was
• 16:08
  like,
• 16:08
  what
• 16:08
  is
• 16:08
  happening
• 16:09
  here?
• 16:09
  And
• 16:09
  it
• 16:09
  allowed
• 16:10
  me
• 16:10
  some
• 16:11
  of
• 16:11
  that
• 16:11
  insight
• 16:11
  into
• 16:12
  my
• 16:12
  brain.
• 16:12
  It's
• 16:12
  like,
• 16:12
  okay,
• 16:13
  I've
• 16:13
  got
• 16:13
  somebody
• 16:13
  here
• 16:14
  who's
• 16:14
  really
• 16:14
  struggling
• 16:14
  with
• 16:15
  the
• 16:16
  criticism
• 16:16
  I'm
• 16:16
  getting.
• 16:17
  And
• 16:17
  I'm
• 16:17
  criticizing
• 16:17
  myself
• 16:18
  on
• 16:18
  top
• 16:18
  of
• 16:18
  it.
• 16:18
  I've
• 16:18
  got
• 16:19
  another
• 16:19
  person
• 16:19
  here
• 16:19
  who
• 16:20
  person
• 16:20
  got
• 16:20
  another
• 16:20
  part
• 16:21
  of
• 16:21
  me.
• 16:21
  Who's
• 16:21
  like.
• 16:22
  You're
• 16:22
  a
• 16:22
  terrible
• 16:23
  person,
• 16:23
  you
• 16:23
  know,
• 16:23
  and
• 16:23
  another
• 16:24
  part
• 16:24
  that's
• 16:24
  like,
• 16:24
  oh,
• 16:25
  but
• 16:25
  it's
• 16:26
  going
• 16:26
  to
• 16:26
  be
• 16:26
  okay,
• 16:26
  you
• 16:26
  know,
• 16:27
  just
• 16:27
  the
• 16:27
  comforting
• 16:27
  and
• 16:28
  so
• 16:28
  interesting
• 16:28
  to
• 16:29
  just
• 16:29
  kind
• 16:29
  of
• 16:29
  pull
• 16:29
  that
• 16:29
  apart.
• 16:30
  And
• 16:30
  I
• 16:30
  think
• 16:30
  that
• 16:31
  when
• 16:31
  we
• 16:31
  make
• 16:31
  the
• 16:31
  mistake
• 16:32
  of.
• 16:33
  Just
• 16:33
  forging
• 16:34
  ahead
• 16:34
  and
• 16:34
  maybe
• 16:35
  that's
• 16:35
  the
• 16:35
  protector's
• 16:35
  job
• 16:35
  as
• 16:36
  we
• 16:36
  just
• 16:36
  go,
• 16:36
  just,
• 16:36
  just
• 16:37
  push
• 16:37
  it
• 16:37
  aside
• 16:38
  and
• 16:38
  forge
• 16:38
  ahead.
• 16:38
  We
• 16:39
  really
• 16:39
  run
• 16:39
  the
• 16:39
  risk
• 16:39
  of
• 16:39
  that
• 16:40
  causing
• 16:40
  us
• 16:41
  some
• 16:41
  issues
• 16:41
  in
• 16:41
  the
• 16:41
  future,
• 16:42
  as
• 16:42
  most
• 16:42
  of
• 16:43
  us
• 16:43
  have
• 16:43
  attested
• 16:43
  to
• 16:43
  when
• 16:44
  we
• 16:44
  have
• 16:44
  childhood
• 16:45
  stuff
• 16:45
  that
• 16:45
  hasn't
• 16:46
  been
• 16:46
  dealt
• 16:46
  with.
• 16:47
  Because
• 16:48
  when
• 16:48
  you're
• 16:48
  most
• 16:48
  of
• 16:48
  our
• 16:49
  protector
• 16:49
  parts,
• 16:50
  they
• 16:50
  only
• 16:51
  have
• 16:51
  one
• 16:51
  agenda.
• 16:51
  They
• 16:52
  are
• 16:52
  very
• 16:52
  tunnel
• 16:52
  vision
• 16:53
  like
• 16:53
  that
• 16:53
  driven
• 16:53
  push
• 16:54
  ahead,
• 16:54
  like
• 16:54
  just,
• 16:54
  just
• 16:55
  push
• 16:55
  past
• 16:55
  it.
• 16:55
  That's
• 16:56
  her
• 16:56
  job.
• 16:57
  For
• 16:57
  those
• 16:57
  of
• 16:57
  us
• 16:57
  who
• 16:57
  have
• 16:57
  those,
• 16:58
  but
• 16:58
  that
• 16:58
  is
• 16:58
  her,
• 16:59
  her
• 16:59
  sole
• 16:59
  job
• 16:59
  in
• 17:00
  life
• 17:00
  is
• 17:00
  just
• 17:00
  let's
• 17:00
  just
• 17:01
  push
• 17:01
  past
• 17:01
  it.
• 17:02
  But
• 17:02
  the
• 17:02
  reality
• 17:02
  is
• 17:02
  we
• 17:03
  can't
• 17:03
  let
• 17:04
  ideally,
• 17:05
  we
• 17:05
  don't
• 17:05
  want
• 17:06
  any
• 17:06
  single
• 17:06
  protector
• 17:07
  part
• 17:07
  of
• 17:07
  us
• 17:08
  to
• 17:08
  run
• 17:09
  our
• 17:09
  lives
• 17:10
  because
• 17:10
  they're
• 17:10
  so
• 17:10
  near
• 17:11
  they've
• 17:11
  got
• 17:11
  so
• 17:12
  much
• 17:12
  narrow,
• 17:13
  like
• 17:13
  tunnel
• 17:14
  focus.
• 17:14
  We
• 17:14
  really
• 17:14
  want
• 17:15
  to
• 17:15
  have
• 17:16
  our
• 17:16
  inner
• 17:16
  wisdom
• 17:17
  be
• 17:17
  what
• 17:17
  directs
• 17:18
  our
• 17:18
  lives.
• 17:19
  We
• 17:19
  can
• 17:19
  use
• 17:20
  those
• 17:20
  parts,
• 17:20
  those
• 17:20
  protector
• 17:21
  parts
• 17:21
  to
• 17:21
  help.
• 17:21
  execute
• 17:22
  and
• 17:22
  orchestrate
• 17:23
  our
• 17:23
  lives,
• 17:23
  but
• 17:24
  we
• 17:24
  can't
• 17:24
  let
• 17:24
  them
• 17:25
  be
• 17:25
  the
• 17:25
  only
• 17:25
  thing
• 17:26
  that,
• 17:26
  that
• 17:27
  runs
• 17:27
  our
• 17:27
  life.
• 17:27
  Right.
• 17:28
  And
• 17:28
  a
• 17:28
  lot
• 17:29
  of
• 17:29
  people,
• 17:29
  do
• 17:29
  because
• 17:29
  it's
• 17:30
  so
• 17:30
  unconscious.
• 17:31
  Like
• 17:31
  we,
• 17:32
  we,
• 17:32
  most
• 17:32
  people
• 17:32
  who
• 17:32
  can
• 17:33
  tell
• 17:33
  you,
• 17:33
  you
• 17:33
  learn
• 17:34
  this
• 17:34
  concept,
• 17:34
  we
• 17:34
  think
• 17:35
  we're
• 17:35
  just
• 17:35
  one
• 17:35
  person.
• 17:36
  So
• 17:36
  this
• 17:36
  whole
• 17:36
  process
• 17:37
  is
• 17:37
  very,
• 17:37
  very
• 17:38
  unconscious.
• 17:39
  Yes.
• 17:40
  And
• 17:40
  I
• 17:40
  have
• 17:40
  found
• 17:41
  personally,
• 17:41
  it
• 17:41
  has
• 17:41
  been
• 17:42
  so
• 17:42
  freeing
• 17:42
  to
• 17:42
  acknowledge
• 17:43
  those
• 17:43
  parts
• 17:43
  and
• 17:44
  go,
• 17:44
  this
• 17:45
  one
• 17:45
  needs
• 17:45
  a
• 17:45
  little
• 17:45
  bit
• 17:45
  of
• 17:45
  love
• 17:45
  today.
• 17:46
  This
• 17:46
  one
• 17:46
  needs
• 17:47
  a
• 17:47
  little
• 17:47
  bit
• 17:47
  of,
• 17:47
  or
• 17:47
  this
• 17:48
  one
• 17:48
  needs
• 17:48
  to
• 17:48
  be
• 17:49
  driven.
• 17:49
  We
• 17:49
  got
• 17:49
  to
• 17:49
  go
• 17:49
  do
• 17:50
  some
• 17:50
  stuff
• 17:50
  today
• 17:50
  and
• 17:50
  we'll
• 17:51
  deal
• 17:51
  with
• 17:51
  this
• 17:51
  a
• 17:51
  little
• 17:51
  bit
• 17:52
  later.
• 17:52
  If
• 17:52
  we
• 17:52
  don't
• 17:52
  have
• 17:52
  time
• 17:52
  for
• 17:53
  that
• 17:53
  to
• 17:53
  come
• 17:53
  up
• 17:53
  today.
• 17:54
  Later
• 17:55
  on.
• 17:55
  We'll
• 17:55
  pull
• 17:55
  that
• 17:55
  up.
• 17:56
  So
• 17:56
  let's
• 17:56
  go
• 17:57
  back
• 17:57
  to
• 17:57
  that.
• 17:57
  authentic
• 17:58
  self
• 17:58
  for
• 17:58
  just
• 17:58
  a
• 17:58
  second.
• 17:59
  Describe
• 17:59
  what
• 17:59
  she
• 18:00
  looks
• 18:00
  like
• 18:00
  to
• 18:00
  me.
• 18:00
  I
• 18:00
  want
• 18:01
  to
• 18:01
  understand
• 18:01
  her
• 18:01
  a
• 18:01
  little
• 18:01
  bit
• 18:01
  better.
• 18:02
  Yeah.
• 18:03
  Well,
• 18:03
  it's
• 18:03
  funny.
• 18:03
  As
• 18:03
  you
• 18:03
  were
• 18:03
  just
• 18:04
  talking,
• 18:04
  I'm
• 18:04
  like,
• 18:04
  I
• 18:04
  wonder
• 18:04
  if
• 18:05
  Bonnie
• 18:05
  realizes
• 18:05
  she's
• 18:06
  talking
• 18:06
  out
• 18:06
  of
• 18:06
  her
• 18:06
  authentic
• 18:07
  self
• 18:07
  right
• 18:07
  now.
• 18:07
  And
• 18:07
  what
• 18:07
  I
• 18:07
  need
• 18:08
  is
• 18:08
  you
• 18:08
  were
• 18:08
  able
• 18:09
  to
• 18:09
  say,
• 18:10
  well,
• 18:10
  I've
• 18:10
  got
• 18:10
  this
• 18:10
  part
• 18:11
  that
• 18:11
  is
• 18:11
  feeling
• 18:11
  like,
• 18:11
  Oh
• 18:11
  my
• 18:12
  gosh,
• 18:12
  I
• 18:12
  can't
• 18:12
  believe
• 18:12
  that,
• 18:13
  that
• 18:13
  you
• 18:13
  did
• 18:13
  that.
• 18:13
  I've
• 18:13
  got
• 18:14
  another
• 18:14
  part.
• 18:14
  That's
• 18:14
  like
• 18:14
  beating
• 18:15
  yourself
• 18:15
  up.
• 18:15
  You've
• 18:15
  got
• 18:16
  another
• 18:16
  part
• 18:16
  that's
• 18:16
  saying,
• 18:16
  Oh,
• 18:16
  it's
• 18:17
  okay.
• 18:17
  The
• 18:18
  part
• 18:18
  of
• 18:18
  you
• 18:18
  or
• 18:18
  the
• 18:18
  aspect
• 18:19
  of
• 18:19
  you
• 18:19
  that's
• 18:20
  able
• 18:20
  to
• 18:20
  see
• 18:21
  all
• 18:21
  the
• 18:21
  parts
• 18:22
  at
• 18:22
  play
• 18:23
  is
• 18:23
  an
• 18:23
  observer,
• 18:24
  right?
• 18:24
  You're
• 18:24
  kind
• 18:25
  of
• 18:25
  away
• 18:25
  from
• 18:26
  yourself
• 18:26
  and
• 18:26
  you're
• 18:26
  looking
• 18:27
  at
• 18:27
  all
• 18:27
  of
• 18:27
  the
• 18:27
  players
• 18:28
  and
• 18:29
  it
• 18:29
  is
• 18:29
  that
• 18:29
  observer
• 18:30
  energy
• 18:31
  that
• 18:31
  is
• 18:31
  a
• 18:31
  starting
• 18:32
  place
• 18:32
  for
• 18:32
  your
• 18:32
  authentic
• 18:33
  self.
• 18:33
  When
• 18:34
  you're
• 18:34
  able
• 18:34
  to
• 18:34
  like,
• 18:34
  not
• 18:35
  be
• 18:35
  the
• 18:35
  shame,
• 18:36
  not
• 18:36
  be
• 18:37
  the
• 18:37
  driver,
• 18:38
  but
• 18:38
  actually
• 18:38
  recognize,
• 18:39
  Oh,
• 18:39
  I
• 18:39
  see
• 18:40
  that
• 18:41
  part
• 18:41
  of
• 18:41
  me
• 18:41
  that
• 18:41
  feels
• 18:41
  shame.
• 18:42
  And
• 18:42
  I
• 18:42
  see
• 18:42
  that
• 18:43
  driver.
• 18:43
  So
• 18:43
  it's
• 18:43
  that
• 18:43
  observer
• 18:44
  part
• 18:44
  is
• 18:44
  where
• 18:44
  to
• 18:44
  start.
• 18:46
  That
• 18:46
  just,
• 18:47
  that's
• 18:47
  the
• 18:47
  very
• 18:47
  beginning
• 18:47
  going
• 18:48
  beyond
• 18:48
  that.
• 18:49
  When
• 18:49
  we
• 18:49
  really
• 18:49
  want
• 18:49
  to
• 18:49
  tap
• 18:50
  into
• 18:50
  the
• 18:50
  fullness
• 18:51
  of
• 18:51
  who
• 18:51
  our
• 18:51
  inner
• 18:52
  leader
• 18:52
  is,
• 18:52
  our
• 18:52
  deepest
• 18:53
  wisdom,
• 18:53
  that
• 18:53
  full
• 18:54
  authentic
• 18:54
  self,
• 18:55
  you
• 18:55
  are
• 18:55
  really
• 18:56
  looking
• 18:56
  at,
• 18:57
  IFS
• 18:57
  and
• 18:58
  I
• 18:58
  use
• 18:58
  this
• 18:58
  as
• 18:58
  well,
• 18:59
  or
• 18:59
  sorry,
• 18:59
  internal
• 18:59
  family
• 19:00
  systems.
• 19:00
  And
• 19:00
  then
• 19:00
  I
• 19:01
  use
• 19:01
  it
• 19:01
  as
• 19:01
  well,
• 19:01
  has
• 19:02
  what
• 19:02
  are
• 19:02
  called
• 19:02
  the
• 19:02
  eight
• 19:03
  C's.
• 19:03
  So
• 19:04
  it's
• 19:04
  eight
• 19:04
  qualities
• 19:05
  that
• 19:05
  start
• 19:05
  with
• 19:06
  the
• 19:06
  letter
• 19:06
  C
• 19:07
  to
• 19:07
  let
• 19:07
  you
• 19:07
  know,
• 19:08
  if
• 19:08
  you
• 19:08
  are
• 19:08
  tapped
• 19:08
  into
• 19:09
  your
• 19:10
  highest
• 19:10
  self,
• 19:10
  into
• 19:10
  your
• 19:11
  authentic
• 19:11
  self,
• 19:12
  the
• 19:12
  most
• 19:12
  important,
• 19:13
  this
• 19:13
  is
• 19:13
  my
• 19:13
  opinion,
• 19:13
  the
• 19:13
  most
• 19:14
  important
• 19:14
  three,
• 19:15
  easy
• 19:15
  to
• 19:15
  remember
• 19:16
  three
• 19:16
  things
• 19:16
  and
• 19:16
  eight
• 19:16
  things,
• 19:18
  is
• 19:18
  calm,
• 19:20
  curious,
• 19:21
  and
• 19:21
  compassionate.
• 19:23
  So
• 19:23
  if
• 19:23
  you
• 19:24
  can
• 19:24
  lean
• 19:24
  into
• 19:24
  that
• 19:25
  observer
• 19:26
  energy
• 19:27
  and
• 19:27
  then
• 19:27
  check
• 19:27
  in
• 19:28
  with
• 19:28
  yourself
• 19:28
  and
• 19:28
  say,
• 19:29
  do
• 19:29
  I
• 19:29
  feel
• 19:30
  calm?
• 19:31
  Am
• 19:31
  I
• 19:31
  able
• 19:32
  to
• 19:32
  be
• 19:32
  curious
• 19:33
  about
• 19:33
  either
• 19:34
  what's
• 19:34
  going
• 19:34
  on?
• 19:35
  Am
• 19:35
  I
• 19:35
  able
• 19:36
  to
• 19:36
  be
• 19:36
  curious
• 19:36
  about
• 19:36
  this
• 19:36
  part
• 19:37
  of
• 19:37
  me?
• 19:38
  Am
• 19:38
  I
• 19:38
  able
• 19:38
  to
• 19:38
  be
• 19:38
  curious
• 19:39
  about
• 19:39
  this
• 19:39
  person
• 19:40
  that
• 19:40
  is
• 19:40
  driving
• 19:40
  me
• 19:40
  crazy?
• 19:42
  Cause
• 19:42
  we
• 19:42
  cannot
• 19:42
  be
• 19:42
  judgmental
• 19:43
  and
• 19:43
  curious
• 19:44
  at
• 19:44
  the
• 19:44
  same
• 19:44
  time,
• 19:45
  whether
• 19:45
  it's
• 19:45
  ourselves
• 19:45
  or
• 19:45
  others,
• 19:46
  like
• 19:46
  you
• 19:46
  can't
• 19:46
  do
• 19:46
  both.
• 19:47
  So
• 19:47
  can
• 19:47
  you
• 19:47
  be
• 19:48
  curious?
• 19:49
  And
• 19:49
  then
• 19:49
  can
• 19:49
  you
• 19:49
  bring
• 19:49
  compassion?
• 19:50
  Can
• 19:51
  you
• 19:51
  truly
• 19:51
  bring
• 19:51
  compassion
• 19:52
  to
• 19:52
  both
• 19:52
  yourself
• 19:53
  and
• 19:53
  to
• 19:53
  others
• 19:54
  when
• 19:54
  you
• 19:54
  can
• 19:54
  start
• 19:54
  to
• 19:54
  play
• 19:55
  with
• 19:55
  those
• 19:55
  three
• 19:56
  energies
• 19:56
  to
• 19:56
  start
• 19:56
  with,
• 19:57
  that's
• 19:57
  how
• 19:57
  you
• 19:57
  know,
• 19:58
  you
• 19:58
  can
• 19:59
  tap
• 19:59
  into
• 20:00
  your
• 20:00
  authentic
• 20:00
  self.
• 20:02
  Oh,
• 20:02
  that
• 20:02
  is
• 20:02
  fascinating.
• 20:03
  And
• 20:03
  I'm
• 20:03
  going
• 20:03
  to
• 20:03
  put
• 20:03
  those
• 20:04
  on
• 20:04
  a
• 20:04
  sticky
• 20:04
  note
• 20:04
  and
• 20:04
  slap
• 20:05
  them
• 20:05
  on
• 20:05
  my
• 20:05
  computer
• 20:05
  and
• 20:06
  my
• 20:06
  bathroom
• 20:06
  mirror.
• 20:07
  And
• 20:07
  what's
• 20:07
  interesting
• 20:08
  is.
• 20:09
  Those
• 20:09
  three
• 20:09
  are
• 20:09
  actually
• 20:10
  the
• 20:10
  emotions
• 20:11
  that
• 20:11
  I
• 20:11
  tried
• 20:12
  to
• 20:12
  drive
• 20:12
  myself
• 20:13
  from
• 20:13
  in
• 20:13
  coaching
• 20:14
  others
• 20:14
  as
• 20:14
  well,
• 20:15
  right?
• 20:15
  That's
• 20:15
  what
• 20:15
  we're
• 20:15
  taught
• 20:15
  is
• 20:16
  to
• 20:16
  be
• 20:16
  a
• 20:16
  good
• 20:16
  coach.
• 20:17
  You're
• 20:17
  holding
• 20:17
  space
• 20:17
  for
• 20:18
  someone
• 20:18
  and
• 20:18
  you
• 20:18
  are
• 20:18
  calm
• 20:19
  and
• 20:19
  curious
• 20:19
  and
• 20:19
  compassionate.
• 20:19
  There's
• 20:20
  no
• 20:20
  judgment.
• 20:21
  There's
• 20:21
  no
• 20:21
  trying
• 20:21
  to
• 20:21
  change
• 20:21
  their
• 20:21
  story.
• 20:22
  There's
• 20:22
  no,
• 20:23
  you
• 20:23
  know,
• 20:23
  trying
• 20:23
  to
• 20:23
  figure
• 20:23
  out
• 20:23
  what's
• 20:24
  wrong
• 20:24
  with
• 20:24
  them.
• 20:25
  And
• 20:25
  if
• 20:25
  no
• 20:26
  problem,
• 20:26
  right?
• 20:27
  Yes.
• 20:27
  Yes.
• 20:28
  If
• 20:28
  only
• 20:28
  we
• 20:28
  could
• 20:28
  do
• 20:28
  that
• 20:28
  to
• 20:29
  ourselves.
• 20:29
  So,
• 20:30
  so
• 20:30
  when
• 20:30
  we're
• 20:30
  coaching
• 20:31
  others,
• 20:31
  it
• 20:31
  looks
• 20:32
  like
• 20:32
  that
• 20:32
  when
• 20:32
  we
• 20:32
  coach
• 20:33
  ourselves
• 20:33
  the
• 20:33
  same.
• 20:34
  Yes.
• 20:35
  Yep.
• 20:35
  That's
• 20:35
  exactly
• 20:36
  right.
• 20:36
  And
• 20:36
  that's,
• 20:37
  you
• 20:37
  know,
• 20:37
  when
• 20:37
  we're
• 20:37
  talking
• 20:37
  about
• 20:38
  parts
• 20:38
  work,
• 20:38
  when
• 20:38
  I'm
• 20:39
  working
• 20:39
  with
• 20:39
  my
• 20:39
  clients,
• 20:39
  the
• 20:40
  most
• 20:40
  important
• 20:40
  thing
• 20:41
  and
• 20:41
  the
• 20:41
  first
• 20:41
  thing
• 20:42
  that
• 20:42
  I
• 20:42
  encourage
• 20:42
  them
• 20:42
  to
• 20:43
  do
• 20:43
  is
• 20:43
  to
• 20:43
  find
• 20:43
  the
• 20:43
  connection
• 20:44
  to
• 20:44
  their
• 20:44
  authentic
• 20:44
  self.
• 20:45
  I
• 20:45
  have
• 20:45
  a
• 20:45
  guided
• 20:46
  imagery
• 20:46
  that
• 20:47
  I
• 20:47
  either
• 20:47
  give
• 20:47
  us
• 20:47
  a
• 20:47
  recording
• 20:48
  or
• 20:48
  I
• 20:48
  walk
• 20:48
  them
• 20:49
  through,
• 20:49
  on
• 20:50
  the
• 20:50
  call
• 20:50
  and
• 20:50
  then
• 20:50
  we
• 20:50
  talk
• 20:50
  about
• 20:51
  it.
• 20:51
  It's,
• 20:51
  you
• 20:51
  know,
• 20:52
  it's,
• 20:52
  it's
• 20:52
  actually
• 20:52
  just
• 20:53
  as
• 20:53
  building
• 20:54
  a
• 20:54
  beautiful
• 20:54
  scene
• 20:54
  where
• 20:55
  you're
• 20:55
  actually
• 20:56
  you're
• 20:56
  regulating
• 20:57
  your
• 20:57
  nervous
• 20:57
  system.
• 20:58
  I
• 20:58
  mean,
• 20:59
  to
• 20:59
  be
• 20:59
  calm,
• 20:59
  curious,
• 21:00
  and
• 21:00
  compassionate,
• 21:01
  you
• 21:01
  have
• 21:01
  to
• 21:01
  have
• 21:01
  a
• 21:01
  regulated
• 21:02
  nervous
• 21:02
  system.
• 21:03
  And
• 21:03
  so
• 21:03
  anything
• 21:04
  you
• 21:04
  can
• 21:04
  do
• 21:04
  to
• 21:04
  get
• 21:04
  your
• 21:05
  nervous
• 21:05
  system
• 21:05
  regulated
• 21:06
  is
• 21:06
  going
• 21:06
  to
• 21:06
  give
• 21:07
  you
• 21:07
  access
• 21:07
  to
• 21:07
  your
• 21:08
  authentic
• 21:08
  self.
• 21:09
  So
• 21:09
  what,
• 21:10
  whatever
• 21:10
  the
• 21:11
  process
• 21:11
  is,
• 21:11
  whether
• 21:11
  it's
• 21:12
  the
• 21:12
  guided
• 21:12
  imagery
• 21:13
  or
• 21:13
  having
• 21:13
  a
• 21:13
  conversation
• 21:14
  or
• 21:14
  getting
• 21:14
  my
• 21:14
  clients
• 21:15
  out
• 21:15
  in
• 21:15
  nature,
• 21:16
  literally
• 21:16
  nature
• 21:16
  is
• 21:17
  such
• 21:17
  a
• 21:17
  great
• 21:17
  regulator.
• 21:18
  So
• 21:18
  that
• 21:18
  they
• 21:19
  have
• 21:19
  access
• 21:19
  to
• 21:19
  that
• 21:19
  authentic
• 21:20
  self
• 21:20
  because
• 21:21
  guess
• 21:21
  where
• 21:21
  our
• 21:22
  self
• 21:22
  compassion
• 21:22
  lies.
• 21:23
  Our
• 21:23
  source
• 21:24
  of
• 21:24
  self
• 21:24
  compassion
• 21:25
  is
• 21:25
  our
• 21:25
  authentic
• 21:26
  self.
• 21:27
  We're
• 21:27
  not
• 21:27
  having
• 21:28
  our
• 21:28
  parts.
• 21:28
  Our
• 21:28
  inner
• 21:29
  critic
• 21:29
  is
• 21:29
  not
• 21:29
  going
• 21:29
  to
• 21:29
  offer
• 21:30
  self
• 21:30
  compassion,
• 21:30
  right?
• 21:31
  Right.
• 21:31
  Our
• 21:32
  shame
• 21:32
  part
• 21:32
  is
• 21:32
  not
• 21:33
  going
• 21:33
  to
• 21:33
  offer
• 21:33
  self
• 21:33
  compassion.
• 21:34
  Like
• 21:34
  the
• 21:34
  source
• 21:35
  of
• 21:35
  our
• 21:35
  self
• 21:35
  compassion
• 21:36
  comes
• 21:36
  from
• 21:36
  our
• 21:37
  authentic
• 21:37
  self.
• 21:38
  So
• 21:39
  the
• 21:39
  first
• 21:39
  step,
• 21:40
  and
• 21:40
  it's
• 21:40
  a
• 21:40
  lifelong
• 21:41
  ongoing
• 21:41
  step,
• 21:42
  is
• 21:42
  to
• 21:43
  know
• 21:44
  and
• 21:44
  connect
• 21:44
  with
• 21:45
  your
• 21:45
  authentic
• 21:46
  self.
• 21:47
  Yes.
• 21:47
  Yes.
• 21:48
  Okay.
• 21:48
  That
• 21:49
  is
• 21:49
  amazing.
• 21:49
  And
• 21:49
  I
• 21:50
  think
• 21:50
  you
• 21:50
  said
• 21:50
  you
• 21:50
  can
• 21:50
  offer
• 21:51
  this
• 21:51
  guided
• 21:51
  imagery
• 21:52
  to
• 21:52
  our
• 21:52
  listeners,
• 21:52
  right?
• 21:53
  You've
• 21:53
  got
• 21:53
  to
• 21:53
  download
• 21:53
  for
• 21:53
  that.
• 21:54
  Awesome.
• 21:54
  Okay.
• 21:55
  Yeah.
• 21:55
  We
• 21:55
  will
• 21:55
  put
• 21:55
  the
• 21:55
  link
• 21:55
  to
• 21:55
  that
• 21:56
  in
• 21:56
  the
• 21:56
  show
• 21:56
  notes.
• 21:57
  But
• 21:57
  I
• 21:57
  also
• 21:57
  want
• 21:57
  to
• 21:57
  ask
• 21:57
  you,
• 21:57
  let's
• 21:58
  shift
• 21:58
  into
• 21:58
  business
• 21:58
  here
• 21:59
  for
• 21:59
  a
• 21:59
  second.
• 21:59
  Cause
• 21:59
  we
• 21:59
  always
• 21:59
  talk
• 22:00
  about
• 22:00
  that
• 22:00
  on
• 22:00
  this
• 22:00
  podcast.
• 22:01
  How
• 22:02
  can
• 22:02
  this
• 22:03
  parts
• 22:03
  work
• 22:03
  and,
• 22:03
  and
• 22:04
  really
• 22:04
  tuning
• 22:04
  into
• 22:04
  the
• 22:04
  authentic
• 22:05
  self?
• 22:05
  How
• 22:05
  can
• 22:05
  that
• 22:05
  help
• 22:06
  us
• 22:06
  with
• 22:06
  all
• 22:06
  these
• 22:06
  negative
• 22:07
  emotions
• 22:07
  that
• 22:07
  are
• 22:07
  coming
• 22:08
  up
• 22:08
  while
• 22:08
  building
• 22:09
  a
• 22:09
  business
• 22:09
  like
• 22:09
  fear
• 22:10
  and
• 22:10
  embarrassment
• 22:11
  and
• 22:11
  all
• 22:11
  these
• 22:11
  other
• 22:11
  things?
• 22:12
  So
• 22:13
  there's
• 22:13
  a
• 22:13
  couple
• 22:14
  of
• 22:14
  different
• 22:14
  ways.
• 22:14
  When
• 22:14
  you're
• 22:14
  an
• 22:14
  entrepreneur
• 22:15
  during
• 22:15
  your
• 22:15
  own
• 22:15
  thing,
• 22:16
  think
• 22:16
  about
• 22:17
  how
• 22:17
  many
• 22:17
  safety
• 22:17
  nets
• 22:18
  are
• 22:18
  not
• 22:18
  there.
• 22:18
  Right.
• 22:19
  Like
• 22:19
  we
• 22:19
  don't,
• 22:19
  we
• 22:19
  don't
• 22:19
  have
• 22:20
  teams,
• 22:20
  we
• 22:20
  don't
• 22:20
  have
• 22:20
  corporate,
• 22:20
  we
• 22:21
  don't
• 22:21
  have
• 22:21
  HR,
• 22:21
  we
• 22:21
  don't
• 22:21
  have
• 22:21
  benefits
• 22:22
  so
• 22:22
  the,
• 22:22
  the
• 22:23
  safety
• 22:23
  structures
• 22:24
  that
• 22:24
  corporations
• 22:24
  offer
• 22:25
  us
• 22:26
  entrepreneurship
• 22:27
  does
• 22:27
  not.
• 22:27
  And
• 22:28
  so
• 22:28
  it
• 22:28
  triggers
• 22:29
  a
• 22:30
  primal,
• 22:31
  like
• 22:31
  not
• 22:31
  just
• 22:32
  what's
• 22:32
  my
• 22:32
  trauma,
• 22:32
  but
• 22:33
  a
• 22:33
  primal
• 22:33
  level.
• 22:34
  Am
• 22:35
  I
• 22:35
  safe?
• 22:36
  Because
• 22:36
  I
• 22:36
  had
• 22:36
  to
• 22:36
  put
• 22:37
  myself
• 22:37
  out
• 22:37
  there.
• 22:37
  I
• 22:37
  actually
• 22:38
  have
• 22:38
  to
• 22:38
  be
• 22:38
  seen
• 22:38
  it.
• 22:38
  If
• 22:39
  I'm
• 22:39
  seen
• 22:39
  and
• 22:40
  rejected,
• 22:40
  I
• 22:40
  will
• 22:41
  die.
• 22:41
  Right.
• 22:42
  And
• 22:42
  that's
• 22:42
  kind
• 22:42
  of,
• 22:42
  that's
• 22:42
  not
• 22:43
  logical,
• 22:43
  but
• 22:43
  that's
• 22:43
  what
• 22:44
  happens
• 22:44
  primally.
• 22:45
  And
• 22:45
  so
• 22:46
  there's
• 22:46
  something
• 22:46
  unique
• 22:47
  about
• 22:47
  having
• 22:47
  your
• 22:47
  own
• 22:47
  business
• 22:48
  that
• 22:48
  just
• 22:49
  activates
• 22:50
  deep
• 22:50
  level,
• 22:51
  primal
• 22:52
  emotions
• 22:52
  of
• 22:53
  your
• 22:53
  littles
• 22:54
  that
• 22:54
  gets
• 22:55
  brought
• 22:55
  up
• 22:55
  in
• 22:55
  ways
• 22:55
  that
• 22:55
  nothing,
• 22:56
  not
• 22:56
  many
• 22:57
  other
• 22:57
  things
• 22:57
  bring
• 22:57
  it
• 22:57
  up.
• 22:58
  Yeah.
• 22:58
  Cause
• 22:59
  you're
• 22:59
  out
• 22:59
  on
• 22:59
  your
• 22:59
  own.
• 23:00
  All
• 23:00
  of
• 23:00
  a
• 23:00
  sudden
• 23:01
  when
• 23:01
  you're
• 23:01
  working
• 23:01
  in
• 23:01
  business,
• 23:02
  the
• 23:02
  first
• 23:02
  thing
• 23:02
  you
• 23:02
  want
• 23:02
  to
• 23:02
  do
• 23:03
  is
• 23:03
  build
• 23:03
  the
• 23:03
  relationship
• 23:04
  with
• 23:04
  your
• 23:04
  authentic
• 23:04
  self,
• 23:05
  because
• 23:05
  guess
• 23:05
  what?
• 23:06
  Building
• 23:06
  a
• 23:06
  business.
• 23:08
  It's
• 23:08
  not
• 23:08
  easy.
• 23:09
  It's
• 23:09
  got
• 23:09
  some
• 23:09
  challenges
• 23:09
  to
• 23:10
  it,
• 23:10
  well,
• 23:10
  if
• 23:11
  we
• 23:11
  want
• 23:11
  to
• 23:11
  have
• 23:11
  the
• 23:11
  wisdom
• 23:12
  to
• 23:12
  know
• 23:12
  how
• 23:12
  to
• 23:12
  handle
• 23:13
  those
• 23:13
  challenges,
• 23:14
  if
• 23:14
  we
• 23:14
  want
• 23:14
  to
• 23:14
  have
• 23:14
  the
• 23:14
  courage
• 23:15
  to
• 23:15
  know
• 23:15
  how
• 23:15
  to
• 23:15
  handle
• 23:16
  those
• 23:16
  challenges,
• 23:17
  we
• 23:17
  have
• 23:17
  to
• 23:17
  be
• 23:18
  able
• 23:18
  to
• 23:18
  access
• 23:18
  our
• 23:18
  authentic
• 23:19
  self.
• 23:19
  That's
• 23:20
  where
• 23:20
  the
• 23:20
  answers
• 23:20
  lie.
• 23:21
  So
• 23:21
  the
• 23:21
  business
• 23:22
  that
• 23:22
  we're
• 23:22
  all
• 23:23
  wanting
• 23:23
  to
• 23:23
  build.
• 23:25
  That
• 23:25
  wisdom
• 23:25
  of
• 23:26
  what
• 23:26
  that
• 23:26
  is
• 23:26
  actually
• 23:27
  lives
• 23:27
  within
• 23:28
  our
• 23:28
  authentic
• 23:28
  self.
• 23:29
  So
• 23:29
  that's
• 23:30
  the
• 23:30
  first
• 23:30
  step
• 23:30
  is
• 23:30
  you
• 23:30
  have
• 23:31
  to
• 23:31
  be
• 23:31
  able
• 23:31
  to
• 23:31
  connect
• 23:32
  with
• 23:32
  that
• 23:32
  part
• 23:32
  of
• 23:32
  you
• 23:32
  to
• 23:32
  know
• 23:32
  what
• 23:33
  it
• 23:33
  is
• 23:33
  I'm
• 23:33
  even
• 23:33
  driving
• 23:34
  toward,
• 23:34
  well,
• 23:35
  then
• 23:35
  enters
• 23:36
  all
• 23:37
  the
• 23:37
  protector
• 23:38
  parts,
• 23:38
  so
• 23:38
  fear
• 23:39
  comes
• 23:39
  up.
• 23:40
  Imposter
• 23:41
  syndrome
• 23:41
  comes
• 23:41
  up.
• 23:42
  Inner
• 23:43
  critics
• 23:43
  come
• 23:44
  up.
• 23:44
  Perfectionism
• 23:45
  comes
• 23:45
  up.
• 23:46
  Like
• 23:46
  you
• 23:46
  could,
• 23:46
  we
• 23:46
  can
• 23:47
  make
• 23:47
  a
• 23:47
  whole
• 23:47
  list
• 23:47
  of
• 23:47
  things
• 23:48
  that
• 23:48
  come
• 23:48
  up
• 23:48
  when
• 23:48
  you're
• 23:48
  trying
• 23:48
  to
• 23:49
  build
• 23:49
  a
• 23:49
  business,
• 23:49
  well,
• 23:50
  if
• 23:50
  you're
• 23:50
  not
• 23:51
  aware
• 23:51
  of
• 23:51
  parts
• 23:51
  work,
• 23:52
  What
• 23:53
  tends
• 23:53
  to
• 23:53
  happen
• 23:53
  is
• 23:53
  we
• 23:53
  just
• 23:54
  think,
• 23:54
  Oh,
• 23:54
  well,
• 23:54
  I've
• 23:54
  just
• 23:55
  been,
• 23:55
  hijacked,
• 23:56
  or
• 23:56
  I'm
• 23:56
  just
• 23:56
  in
• 23:56
  this
• 23:57
  place.
• 23:57
  I'm
• 23:57
  just
• 23:57
  in
• 23:57
  this
• 23:58
  place
• 23:58
  of
• 23:59
  who
• 23:59
  am
• 23:59
  I?
• 23:59
  I'm
• 23:59
  an
• 23:59
  imposter.
• 24:00
  I
• 24:00
  don't
• 24:00
  know
• 24:01
  enough.
• 24:01
  God,
• 24:01
  that
• 24:01
  person
• 24:01
  knows
• 24:02
  so
• 24:02
  much
• 24:02
  more
• 24:02
  than
• 24:02
  me.
• 24:02
  Let
• 24:02
  me
• 24:03
  just
• 24:03
  compare
• 24:03
  myself
• 24:03
  to
• 24:03
  them.
• 24:04
  Like,
• 24:04
  this
• 24:04
  is
• 24:04
  never
• 24:04
  going
• 24:04
  to,
• 24:04
  I
• 24:04
  just,
• 24:05
  I'm
• 24:05
  an
• 24:05
  awful,
• 24:05
  I
• 24:05
  can't
• 24:06
  never,
• 24:06
  right?
• 24:06
  Like
• 24:07
  we
• 24:07
  had,
• 24:07
  we
• 24:07
  go
• 24:07
  down
• 24:08
  this
• 24:08
  spiral.
• 24:09
  And
• 24:09
  if
• 24:10
  we
• 24:10
  think
• 24:10
  that's
• 24:11
  just
• 24:11
  us,
• 24:12
  that
• 24:12
  it's
• 24:12
  going
• 24:12
  down
• 24:13
  that
• 24:13
  spiral,
• 24:14
  how
• 24:14
  do
• 24:14
  we
• 24:14
  stop
• 24:15
  it?
• 24:15
  Yeah.
• 24:16
  One
• 24:16
  thing
• 24:16
  I've
• 24:16
  noticed,
• 24:17
  too,
• 24:17
  with
• 24:17
  clients
• 24:17
  is
• 24:17
  that
• 24:18
  sometimes
• 24:18
  they
• 24:18
  think
• 24:18
  that's
• 24:19
  the
• 24:19
  sign
• 24:19
  that
• 24:19
  they're
• 24:20
  not
• 24:20
  supposed
• 24:20
  to
• 24:20
  do
• 24:20
  this.
• 24:22
  And
• 24:22
  I'm
• 24:22
  like,
• 24:22
  no,
• 24:23
  no,
• 24:23
  no,
• 24:23
  no,
• 24:23
  this
• 24:23
  is
• 24:24
  normal.
• 24:25
  Yeah.
• 24:25
  Well,
• 24:26
  and
• 24:26
  what's
• 24:26
  interesting
• 24:26
  is
• 24:26
  that
• 24:27
  it
• 24:27
  probably
• 24:28
  is
• 24:28
  the
• 24:29
  job
• 24:29
  of
• 24:30
  that
• 24:30
  part
• 24:30
  of
• 24:30
  them
• 24:31
  to
• 24:31
  get
• 24:31
  them
• 24:31
  to
• 24:31
  stop.
• 24:32
  Because
• 24:32
  they're
• 24:33
  actually
• 24:33
  afraid
• 24:33
  of
• 24:33
  something
• 24:34
  much
• 24:34
  bigger.
• 24:35
  And
• 24:35
  so
• 24:35
  if
• 24:35
  they
• 24:35
  can
• 24:35
  convince
• 24:36
  that
• 24:36
  person,
• 24:37
  like,
• 24:37
  Oh,
• 24:38
  I'm
• 24:38
  going
• 24:38
  to
• 24:38
  send
• 24:38
  them
• 24:38
  all
• 24:39
  these
• 24:39
  negative
• 24:39
  feelings
• 24:40
  and
• 24:40
  they'll
• 24:40
  think,
• 24:40
  Oh,
• 24:40
  this
• 24:40
  just
• 24:40
  isn't
• 24:41
  for
• 24:41
  me.
• 24:41
  I'm
• 24:41
  just
• 24:41
  going
• 24:41
  to
• 24:41
  go
• 24:41
  back
• 24:42
  to
• 24:42
  my
• 24:42
  comfort
• 24:42
  zone.
• 24:42
  Then
• 24:43
  I
• 24:43
  have
• 24:43
  done
• 24:43
  my
• 24:43
  job,
• 24:44
  says
• 24:44
  the
• 24:44
  part,
• 24:45
  right?
• 24:46
  But
• 24:46
  the
• 24:46
  authentic
• 24:46
  self
• 24:47
  is
• 24:47
  going.
• 24:48
  Not
• 24:48
  true.
• 24:49
  This
• 24:49
  is
• 24:49
  going
• 24:49
  to
• 24:49
  come
• 24:49
  back
• 24:49
  and
• 24:49
  haunt
• 24:49
  you
• 24:50
  later.
• 24:50
  You're
• 24:50
  going
• 24:50
  to
• 24:50
  wish
• 24:50
  that
• 24:51
  you,
• 24:51
  you're
• 24:51
  going
• 24:51
  to
• 24:51
  wish
• 24:52
  that
• 24:52
  you
• 24:52
  pushed
• 24:52
  through,
• 24:52
  but
• 24:52
  I'm
• 24:53
  just
• 24:53
  going
• 24:53
  to
• 24:53
  let
• 24:53
  you
• 24:53
  work
• 24:53
  through
• 24:53
  it.
• 24:54
  That's
• 24:54
  right.
• 24:56
  So
• 24:56
  when
• 24:57
  you
• 24:57
  recognize
• 24:57
  when
• 24:57
  you're
• 24:58
  going
• 24:58
  down
• 24:58
  that
• 24:58
  downward
• 24:58
  spiral,
• 24:59
  how
• 24:59
  parts
• 25:00
  where
• 25:00
  it
• 25:00
  can
• 25:00
  help
• 25:00
  this
• 25:01
  is
• 25:01
  if
• 25:01
  you
• 25:01
  recognize,
• 25:02
  oh,
• 25:02
  that's
• 25:02
  actually
• 25:03
  not
• 25:03
  me.
• 25:03
  It's
• 25:03
  a
• 25:03
  part
• 25:04
  of
• 25:04
  me.
• 25:05
  That's
• 25:05
  not
• 25:06
  all
• 25:06
  of
• 25:06
  me.
• 25:06
  And
• 25:06
  if
• 25:06
  you
• 25:06
  can
• 25:06
  start
• 25:07
  to
• 25:07
  get
• 25:07
  that
• 25:07
  separation
• 25:08
  and
• 25:08
  go,
• 25:08
  wow,
• 25:08
  look
• 25:08
  at
• 25:09
  her
• 25:09
  spiral
• 25:10
  down
• 25:10
  the,
• 25:10
  look
• 25:10
  at
• 25:10
  her
• 25:10
  go.
• 25:11
  She
• 25:11
  is
• 25:11
  flipping
• 25:12
  out
• 25:12
  right
• 25:12
  now.
• 25:13
  Like,
• 25:13
  let's
• 25:13
  let
• 25:13
  her
• 25:13
  flip
• 25:14
  out.
• 25:15
  And
• 25:15
  then
• 25:15
  this
• 25:16
  is
• 25:16
  where
• 25:16
  the
• 25:16
  inner
• 25:16
  work
• 25:17
  that
• 25:17
  comes
• 25:17
  is
• 25:17
  that
• 25:17
  we
• 25:17
  don't
• 25:18
  just
• 25:18
  let
• 25:18
  her
• 25:18
  flip
• 25:18
  out
• 25:19
  and
• 25:19
  then
• 25:19
  just
• 25:19
  move
• 25:19
  on
• 25:19
  because
• 25:19
  she'll
• 25:20
  come
• 25:20
  back
• 25:20
  stronger.
• 25:20
  Right.
• 25:21
  But
• 25:21
  what
• 25:21
  we
• 25:21
  do
• 25:22
  is
• 25:22
  in
• 25:22
  from
• 25:23
  the
• 25:23
  place
• 25:23
  of
• 25:23
  our
• 25:23
  authentic
• 25:24
  self,
• 25:24
  we
• 25:24
  build
• 25:24
  a
• 25:24
  relationship
• 25:25
  with
• 25:25
  that
• 25:25
  person.
• 25:26
  We
• 25:26
  build
• 25:26
  a
• 25:26
  relationship
• 25:27
  with
• 25:27
  the
• 25:27
  part
• 25:27
  of
• 25:27
  us
• 25:28
  that
• 25:28
  flips
• 25:28
  out
• 25:28
  or
• 25:28
  is
• 25:29
  in
• 25:29
  so
• 25:29
  much
• 25:29
  fear
• 25:30
  or
• 25:30
  the
• 25:30
  imposter,
• 25:30
  whatever
• 25:31
  it
• 25:31
  is.
• 25:31
  We
• 25:32
  build
• 25:32
  a
• 25:32
  relationship.
• 25:32
  We
• 25:33
  understand
• 25:34
  to
• 25:34
  take
• 25:34
  the
• 25:34
  imposter,
• 25:34
  for
• 25:35
  example,
• 25:35
  we
• 25:35
  would
• 25:35
  ask
• 25:36
  her
• 25:36
  questions
• 25:36
  like,
• 25:37
  what
• 25:37
  is
• 25:37
  it
• 25:37
  you're
• 25:37
  afraid
• 25:38
  of?
• 25:38
  Okay.
• 25:39
  So
• 25:39
  if
• 25:39
  that
• 25:39
  person
• 25:40
  thinks
• 25:40
  we
• 25:40
  don't
• 25:40
  know
• 25:40
  what
• 25:40
  we're
• 25:41
  talking
• 25:41
  about,
• 25:41
  what
• 25:41
  then?
• 25:42
  What's
• 25:42
  the
• 25:43
  concern?
• 25:43
  What's
• 25:44
  the
• 25:44
  worst
• 25:44
  thing
• 25:44
  that
• 25:44
  can
• 25:44
  happen?
• 25:45
  So
• 25:45
  you're
• 25:45
  really
• 25:45
  getting
• 25:46
  to
• 25:46
  know
• 25:46
  that
• 25:47
  part.
• 25:48
  And
• 25:48
  then
• 25:48
  your
• 25:49
  authentic
• 25:49
  self
• 25:49
  in
• 25:50
  building
• 25:50
  the
• 25:50
  relationship.
• 25:51
  Just
• 25:51
  think
• 25:51
  about
• 25:52
  what
• 25:52
  happens
• 25:52
  if
• 25:52
  you're
• 25:52
  by
• 25:52
  yourself
• 25:53
  and
• 25:53
  you're
• 25:53
  afraid.
• 25:54
  And
• 25:54
  then
• 25:54
  someone
• 25:54
  comes
• 25:55
  along
• 25:55
  and
• 25:55
  says,
• 25:55
  Hey,
• 25:55
  I'm
• 25:55
  here
• 25:56
  with
• 25:56
  you.
• 25:56
  Your
• 25:56
  fear
• 25:57
  goes
• 25:57
  down.
• 25:57
  It's
• 25:58
  the
• 25:58
  same
• 25:58
  thing,
• 25:59
  but
• 25:59
  you're
• 25:59
  doing
• 25:59
  it
• 25:59
  for
• 25:59
  yourself.
• 26:00
  You're
• 26:00
  saying,
• 26:00
  Hey,
• 26:00
  imposter
• 26:01
  part.
• 26:01
  I,
• 26:02
  Oh,
• 26:02
  I
• 26:02
  see
• 26:02
  you.
• 26:02
  I
• 26:03
  see
• 26:03
  you're
• 26:03
  so
• 26:03
  afraid
• 26:04
  of
• 26:04
  that.
• 26:04
  You
• 26:04
  don't
• 26:04
  know
• 26:04
  what
• 26:04
  you're
• 26:04
  doing.
• 26:05
  I'm
• 26:05
  here
• 26:06
  with
• 26:06
  you.
• 26:07
  And
• 26:07
  then
• 26:07
  the
• 26:07
  imposter
• 26:08
  relaxes.
• 26:09
  And
• 26:10
  then
• 26:10
  when
• 26:10
  the
• 26:10
  imposter
• 26:11
  relaxes,
• 26:11
  you
• 26:11
  know,
• 26:12
  have
• 26:12
  access
• 26:12
  to
• 26:12
  the
• 26:12
  wisdom
• 26:13
  of
• 26:13
  your
• 26:13
  authentic
• 26:13
  self
• 26:14
  about
• 26:14
  how
• 26:14
  to
• 26:14
  move
• 26:14
  forward.
• 26:16
  Yes,
• 26:16
  what
• 26:16
  I've
• 26:16
  noticed
• 26:17
  about
• 26:17
  that
• 26:17
  is
• 26:17
  that
• 26:18
  I
• 26:19
  feel
• 26:19
  like
• 26:19
  the
• 26:19
  critic
• 26:20
  or
• 26:20
  the,
• 26:20
  or
• 26:20
  the
• 26:20
  fear
• 26:21
  based
• 26:21
  part
• 26:21
  or
• 26:21
  whatever
• 26:22
  it
• 26:22
  is
• 26:22
  that's
• 26:22
  sounding
• 26:23
  the
• 26:23
  alarm,
• 26:23
  they
• 26:24
  just
• 26:24
  want
• 26:24
  to
• 26:24
  make
• 26:24
  sure
• 26:24
  you're
• 26:24
  paying
• 26:25
  attention.
• 26:26
  100%.
• 26:26
  Right?
• 26:27
  And
• 26:27
  when
• 26:27
  you
• 26:27
  ignore
• 26:28
  it
• 26:28
  and
• 26:28
  walk
• 26:28
  away,
• 26:29
  they're
• 26:29
  only
• 26:29
  going
• 26:29
  to
• 26:29
  get
• 26:29
  louder.
• 26:30
  Yep,
• 26:31
  they
• 26:31
  sure
• 26:32
  are.
• 26:32
  It's
• 26:32
  stopping
• 26:32
  and
• 26:32
  saying,
• 26:33
  oh,
• 26:33
  I
• 26:34
  see
• 26:34
  you.
• 26:34
  This
• 26:35
  is
• 26:35
  scary
• 26:35
  sometimes,
• 26:36
  isn't
• 26:36
  it?
• 26:36
  Yes.
• 26:37
  This
• 26:37
  does
• 26:37
  make
• 26:38
  me
• 26:38
  feel
• 26:38
  like
• 26:38
  an
• 26:38
  imposter.
• 26:39
  That
• 26:39
  makes
• 26:39
  sense.
• 26:40
  Yes.
• 26:41
  And,
• 26:41
  and
• 26:41
  then
• 26:41
  you
• 26:42
  acknowledge
• 26:42
  they're
• 26:42
  there
• 26:43
  and
• 26:43
  that
• 26:43
  you
• 26:43
  hear
• 26:43
  them
• 26:44
  and
• 26:44
  you're
• 26:44
  going
• 26:44
  to.
• 26:45
  Be
• 26:45
  on
• 26:45
  alert
• 26:45
  for
• 26:45
  it,
• 26:46
  right?
• 26:46
  And
• 26:46
  then
• 26:46
  they
• 26:46
  can
• 26:47
  calm
• 26:47
  down
• 26:47
  a
• 26:47
  little
• 26:47
  bit.
• 26:47
  Okay,
• 26:48
  I
• 26:48
  sounded
• 26:48
  the
• 26:48
  alarm.
• 26:48
  I've
• 26:48
  done
• 26:49
  my
• 26:49
  job.
• 26:50
  Yeah,
• 26:50
  exactly.
• 26:51
  Acknowledgement
• 26:51
  is,
• 26:52
  when
• 26:52
  you're
• 26:53
  doing
• 26:53
  parts
• 26:53
  work,
• 26:53
  acknowledging
• 26:54
  your
• 26:54
  parts,
• 26:55
  whether
• 26:55
  it's
• 26:55
  the
• 26:55
  protector
• 26:55
  parts
• 26:56
  or
• 26:56
  the
• 26:56
  littles,
• 26:56
  acknowledgement
• 26:57
  is
• 26:57
  one
• 26:57
  of
• 26:57
  the
• 26:57
  best
• 26:58
  things
• 26:58
  that
• 26:58
  you
• 26:58
  can
• 26:58
  do.
• 26:58
  Quit
• 26:59
  pushing
• 26:59
  it
• 26:59
  away.
• 27:00
  Acknowledge
• 27:00
  its
• 27:00
  existence.
• 27:01
  Yes.
• 27:02
  And
• 27:02
  you
• 27:02
  know,
• 27:02
  I,
• 27:03
  I've
• 27:03
  had
• 27:03
  seen
• 27:04
  so
• 27:04
  many
• 27:04
  examples
• 27:04
  of
• 27:05
  loved
• 27:05
  ones
• 27:05
  in
• 27:05
  my
• 27:05
  life
• 27:05
  who
• 27:05
  just
• 27:06
  have
• 27:06
  not
• 27:06
  had
• 27:07
  the
• 27:07
  tools
• 27:07
  necessary
• 27:08
  to
• 27:08
  acknowledge
• 27:08
  these
• 27:09
  different
• 27:09
  parts.
• 27:09
  And
• 27:09
  it's
• 27:10
  become
• 27:10
  destructive
• 27:10
  to
• 27:10
  them
• 27:11
  because
• 27:11
  they
• 27:11
  don't
• 27:11
  have
• 27:12
  the
• 27:12
  tools
• 27:12
  to
• 27:12
  handle
• 27:13
  these
• 27:13
  emotions
• 27:13
  or,
• 27:14
  or
• 27:14
  the
• 27:14
  trauma
• 27:15
  or
• 27:15
  whatever.
• 27:16
  And,
• 27:16
  they
• 27:16
  just
• 27:16
  keep
• 27:16
  shoving
• 27:17
  it
• 27:17
  down
• 27:17
  and
• 27:17
  then
• 27:18
  it
• 27:18
  manifests
• 27:18
  in
• 27:19
  really
• 27:19
  harmful
• 27:19
  ways.
• 27:19
  And
• 27:20
  it's
• 27:20
  so
• 27:20
  sad
• 27:20
  to
• 27:20
  see,
• 27:20
  but
• 27:21
  I
• 27:21
  love,
• 27:22
  love,
• 27:22
  love
• 27:22
  that
• 27:22
  you
• 27:22
  have
• 27:22
  shared
• 27:23
  this
• 27:23
  with
• 27:23
  us.
• 27:23
  You
• 27:23
  are.
• 27:24
  Such
• 27:24
  a
• 27:24
  genius
• 27:24
  that
• 27:24
  I
• 27:25
  could
• 27:25
  talk
• 27:25
  to
• 27:25
  you
• 27:25
  about
• 27:25
  this
• 27:26
  all
• 27:26
  day
• 27:26
  long.
• 27:26
  I
• 27:27
  love
• 27:27
  it.
• 27:27
  I
• 27:27
  think
• 27:27
  it's
• 27:28
  so
• 27:28
  fascinating
• 27:28
  and
• 27:28
  I
• 27:28
  hope
• 27:29
  it
• 27:29
  has
• 27:29
  been
• 27:29
  helpful
• 27:30
  to
• 27:30
  all
• 27:30
  of
• 27:30
  you
• 27:30
  listening
• 27:31
  to
• 27:31
  just
• 27:32
  acknowledge
• 27:32
  those
• 27:32
  parts
• 27:33
  of
• 27:33
  you
• 27:33
  and
• 27:34
  to
• 27:34
  acknowledge
• 27:35
  that
• 27:35
  they're
• 27:35
  doing
• 27:35
  their
• 27:35
  job.
• 27:36
  They're,
• 27:36
  they're
• 27:36
  there
• 27:36
  to
• 27:36
  protect
• 27:37
  you
• 27:38
  and
• 27:38
  to
• 27:38
  help
• 27:38
  you
• 27:38
  watch
• 27:38
  out
• 27:39
  for
• 27:39
  those
• 27:39
  scary
• 27:39
  things.
• 27:40
  Yes.
• 27:41
  Yes.
• 27:41
  Thank
• 27:41
  you.
• 27:42
  Thank
• 27:42
  you.
• 27:42
  That's
• 27:42
  so
• 27:42
  great.
• 27:43
  Okay.
• 27:43
  Danny,
• 27:43
  before
• 27:43
  we
• 27:44
  let
• 27:44
  you
• 27:44
  go,
• 27:44
  please
• 27:45
  share
• 27:45
  with
• 27:45
  everyone
• 27:45
  where
• 27:46
  they
• 27:46
  can
• 27:46
  find
• 27:46
  you,
• 27:46
  what
• 27:46
  social
• 27:47
  media
• 27:47
  you're,
• 27:47
  on
• 27:48
  and
• 27:48
  where
• 27:48
  your
• 27:48
  website
• 27:49
  is,
• 27:49
  where
• 27:49
  we
• 27:49
  can
• 27:49
  get
• 27:49
  more
• 27:49
  of
• 27:49
  this
• 27:49
  parts
• 27:50
  work
• 27:50
  stuff.
• 27:50
  Yeah.
• 27:50
  So
• 27:51
  my
• 27:51
  website
• 27:51
  is
• 27:52
  Danny
• 27:52
  fake.
• 27:53
  com
• 27:53
  it's
• 27:53
  D
• 27:53
  A
• 27:53
  N
• 27:54
  I
• 27:54
  F
• 27:54
  A
• 27:54
  K
• 27:54
  E.
• 27:55
  com.
• 27:56
  And
• 27:56
  then
• 27:56
  on
• 27:56
  both
• 27:56
  Instagram
• 27:57
  it's
• 27:57
  the
• 27:58
  same
• 27:58
  handle,
• 27:58
  which
• 27:58
  is
• 27:58
  Danny
• 27:59
  fake
• 27:59
  44.
• 28:00
  And
• 28:01
  I'm
• 28:01
  also
• 28:01
  on
• 28:01
  Facebook
• 28:01
  by
• 28:02
  my
• 28:02
  name.
• 28:03
  Awesome.
• 28:04
  So
• 28:04
  we'll
• 28:04
  put
• 28:04
  the
• 28:05
  links
• 28:05
  to
• 28:05
  all
• 28:05
  that,
• 28:05
  including
• 28:06
  to
• 28:06
  your,
• 28:07
  freebie
• 28:07
  that
• 28:07
  you
• 28:07
  have
• 28:07
  offered
• 28:08
  us
• 28:08
  in
• 28:08
  this
• 28:08
  show
• 28:08
  notes.
• 28:09
  Yes.
• 28:09
  So
• 28:09
  thank
• 28:09
  you
• 28:09
  so
• 28:09
  much
• 28:09
  for
• 28:10
  that.
• 28:10
  And,
• 28:10
  I,
• 28:10
  I'm
• 28:11
  telling
• 28:11
  you,
• 28:11
  I'm
• 28:11
  gonna
• 28:11
  do
• 28:11
  more
• 28:12
  of
• 28:12
  this
• 28:12
  and
• 28:12
  we'll
• 28:12
  probably
• 28:12
  have
• 28:12
  you
• 28:12
  on
• 28:12
  again
• 28:13
  because
• 28:13
  it
• 28:13
  feels
• 28:14
  so
• 28:14
  deep.
• 28:14
  Like
• 28:14
  we
• 28:14
  could
• 28:14
  just
• 28:15
  learn
• 28:15
  all
• 28:15
  day
• 28:15
  about
• 28:15
  this.
• 28:16
  Thank
• 28:16
  you
• 28:16
  so
• 28:16
  much
• 28:16
  for
• 28:16
  coming.
• 28:17
  Yes,
• 28:17
  thank
• 28:17
  you.