Latest / Women Who Ship / [Bonus] Beyond Certainty Part 3: What are you building toward?
Transcript
- Sarah Williams: Welcome to Women Who Ship, the podcast for women in tech who are tired of proving themselves in rooms they've already earned a place in and are ready to lead like they know it. I'm your host, Sarah Williams. Let's dive in. Sarah: Hey friends, welcome back to Women Who Ship and our special bonus series, Beyond Certainty, turning great work into the recognition you have earned. In today's episode, we are going to be focusing on what are you actually building toward? But if you've come this far with me, I do want to acknowledge all of the great work you've done so far. So in our first episode, you learned how to differentiate between a circumstance and a thought. And finding space between those two things can really help you see how you're showing up in the world. In our second episode, you learned how to build a thought ladder. So we're no longer jumping to a positive affirmation about ourselves that we can't believe. You found a single rung you can move up the ladder that is believable for you and more positive. These two things are not small things. Working on these two things together really can change how you show up at work and in every aspect of your life. But here's one thing I've noticed about almost every high-achieving woman I work with. She's been climbing hard toward a goal that was never really hers to begin with. So you probably know a lot of what this looks like. You're doing excellent work, you're getting great performance evaluations, and you think or you know that a promotion is the next logical step. And you've been told that you need to be more visible and more confident in order to achieve that goal. You've been doing those things, but underneath that, I want you to think about: do you actually want that role? Or do you want what the role represents? The signal that your work has finally been seen and valued? So I've seen this show up in a couple of different ways. And the first one is the should promotion. So for those of you that are thinking about like, okay, well, I should be moving up, that's the next logical step. Maybe you're seeing people around you, your peers have gotten promoted, and you're wondering what it means about you, that you're not kind of pacing them and following along at the same level in your career. You're probably an ambitious person. And so you may feel like it's strange to not want to keep pushing yourself and to keep moving up the ladder and like going to the next level. But have you actually asked whether the role aligns with how you actually want to spend your time? Another way this can show up, and this one is really dangerous, is that proof promotion. Even though your performance evaluations are all going well and all the signs point point towards you being great at your job, you are still thinking underneath the surface that you're not good enough. And that getting promoted will prove either to yourself or to those around you that you deserve to be there, that you have inherent value. So now this promotion, it's no longer about your career. And it's about who you are as a person and your inherent worth. Both of these things are thoughts, not facts. So luckily, I should want this promotion is a thought. And also getting promoted will prove I'm good enough is a thought as well. But building a thought ladder toward a goal that's built on either of these thoughts is it's going to feel hollow even when it works. Because the feeling that you're actually looking for isn't in the title. You reach that level. This may have happened to you before. And after a bit, you just get used to it and it doesn't feel good anymore. And you still feel like you don't belong. Or after a bit, you realize I don't even like doing this job day to day. This isn't what I thought it was going to be. And I want to take a moment to acknowledge how this can work in a system that goes against the ways that women are naturally socialized. So women are socialized not to draw attention to ourselves. We're taught to be small, to help others achieve, to shine the light on others. And so oftentimes, as women, we just assume that. If we do great work, it'll get noticed and it will help us get promoted and move on to the next level. But that doesn't always work, especially in an industry like tech, where it's male-dominated and all of the systems are built to reward male behavior like being seen and speaking up and having that visibility. So it really does make it difficult for women who do truly want the promotion to achieve that recognition or who do really want the recognition to achieve it, because it's there's some contradiction between how we kind of naturally show up and we're socialized and how the system works. The recognition and the promotion you've earned deserve to mean something real, not a verdict on your worth, and not the next logical step on a ladder going who knows where. I want it to be something you actually choose for reasons that are actually yours. So now we'll talk through how to identify your values and observe whether your current job or the job that you're going for align with what is truly meaningful to you. So I want you to think about your career and don't think about it in titles or responsibilities or salary. I want you to think about it in the types of things that get you out of bed in the morning. What are the things that get you excited to show up at work? For me, this has often looked like autonomy. It's really important to me to be able to decide what I work on. Every day to make decisions without having a ton of oversight from my leadership team. For you, it may look like something like collaboration. Maybe when you know that you're going to be working with a cross-functional team, or you know that you're going to be working with other members of your team, you're really excited to collaborate with others, get different ideas, and work together to achieve a goal. Some other examples of things that may be important to you. Maybe you are seeking growth. Maybe it's very important to you to do those uncomfortable things that push you outside of your comfort zone. Or maybe you want to be innovative. And so you really want to be tested against the newest technologies and the difficult projects that are going to help you stretch your skill set. Some other examples may be that you are driven by recognition or you're driven by integrity or creativity. So what I want you to think through is when one of those words came up, which was the one that you found yourself nodding to, not just the one that sounded good for your next career move. And once you've identified two or three of those values that are very important to you that make you get out of bed in the morning, I want you to think about your current role and how it measures up for each of those values. Where are the places that you are able to work in alignment with the value in your current role? And then are there any areas where it's maybe there's a gap or it's out of the Now, I don't want you to just think about that for your current role. That's helpful because now you kind of know what the baseline is. It also helps you know what is going well for you and where you are working in alignment with your values. But then I want you to really think about that next career move, that next level, that promotion. Where is that role lining up with your values? Are there going to be places where you might have to make a trade-off on what you're doing now to do the new thing? Or are there ways where the new thing would really maybe align more fully with your values? So now that you've thought this through, you've written these things down, you'll notice where you are aligned with your values in your current role, in your leadership, and what that looks like for you specifically. So no one else is putting in their opinions here. And this is not about blowing up your career or deciding that nothing is working. It's about getting really clear on what you're actually building toward. So that the confidence you're developing has somewhere real to go. Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me. And now, after these three episodes, you've built a really amazing toolkit. So you have the ability to separate circumstances from thoughts. You have a rung in your thought ladder that you can stand on to start building those more positive beliefs about yourself. And you have a rough sense now of your values and what it is that you truly would like to build toward. But a rough direction isn't a real goal, and a single rung isn't a rebuilt belief system. What you've done this week is the beginning, and the beginning matters enormously. What comes next is where it gets real. And that's exactly what my Lead Boldly program is designed to do. It's my high touch, one-on-one coaching program for high achieving women in tech who are ready to turn great work into the promotion and recognition they've already earned. What we do is we go deep on the beliefs that are holding you back. We get clear on your values and your dream career, and then we set a 90-day goal that's actually yours and start building the beliefs that will carry you there. I'm opening a small number of Lead Boldly founding member spots right now, and I do mean small, three to five women maximum. And the investment for founding members will be the lowest that one-on-one coaching with me will ever cost. This is your moment to get in before the price reflects the full program. If this series has resonated with you and you're ready to stop waiting to be sure and start leading like you mean it, I want to hear from you. Send me a DM at Coach Sarah Williams on LinkedIn or Instagram and just say, I'm in or tell me more. That's it. We'll take it from there. Thank you for being here for all three episodes. Doing this work takes courage and you showed up for it. I'm glad you're here. Let's go ship some good stuff together.