Latest / The Keri Croft Show / Are We Ruining Youth Sports? The Truth About Travel Teams, Pressure & Burnout

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Are We Ruining Youth Sports? The Truth About Travel Teams, Pressure & Burnout · The Keri Croft Show

• 0:00
  Keri Croft: Donato's has officially entered game day mode.
• 0:02
  Keri Croft: They just launched the brand new loaded nacho pizza, which is basically exactly what it sounds like.
• 0:07
  Keri Croft: Nachos and Pizza Had a Baby.
• 0:09
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• 0:19
  Keri Croft: And then it comes with crispy nachos and cool sour cream on the side.
• 0:22
  Keri Croft: So if you've got people coming over for the big game and you just want something a little more fun than your normal pizza order, this is it.
• 0:29
  Keri Croft: And don't forget the$5 pizza pals.
• 0:31
  Keri Croft: They're such an easy way to throw a couple more pizzas into the mix without spending a fortune.
• 0:36
  Keri Croft: Especially when you're feeding a big crowd.
• 0:38
  Keri Croft: More flavor, more food, more reasons for everybody to come over and cheer on their favorite team.
• 0:44
  Keri Croft: Donatos, gotta love more.
• 0:46
  Keri Croft: Hey there, you beautiful badass.
• 0:51
  Keri Croft: Welcome to the Carrie Croft Show.
• 0:56
  Keri Croft: Kyle Pless, welcome to the Carrie Croft Show.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:00
  Keri Croft: Thank you for your persistence.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: No problem.
• 1:04
  Keri Croft: You're a persistent guy, aren't you?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: I am, yeah.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: I saw I saw your stuff and I really, really liked some of your reels that came across my feed, and I was like, I think we could have a really good conversation.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: So here we are.
• 1:16
  Keri Croft: You know, I was like, all of a sudden it just like hit me one day.
• 1:18
  Keri Croft: I'm like, why am I like, we need to get this scheduled because this is a conversation that's like swirling around my orbit right now.
• 1:27
  Keri Croft: My son's gonna be eight years old.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:30
  Keri Croft: And I have friends who have older kids who have already gone through this.
• 1:35
  Keri Croft: And I've literally been like, you know, thoughts and prayers.
• 1:38
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Thoughts and prayers.
• 1:40
  Keri Croft: And now I'm like, okay, am I embarking?
• 1:42
  Keri Croft: What am I, what am I getting into?
• 1:44
  Keri Croft: Right.
• 1:45
  Keri Croft: And so the other day I put out the little teaser on my Instagram, you know, saying, hey, help me.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:52
  Keri Croft: Because I I'm not, I'm a seeker.
• 1:54
  Keri Croft: I'm not someone who comes on here and acts like because I have a microphone, I know things.
• 1:58
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 1:59
  Keri Croft: You know, that is not me at all.
• 2:01
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 2:01
  Keri Croft: In fact, I'm pretty much a dummy.
• 2:04
  Keri Croft: Like I'm a I'm a seeker.
• 2:06
  Keri Croft: And so it's like I want to be, I want to understand things.
• 2:10
  Keri Croft: I want to be um sort of open.
• 2:13
  Keri Croft: So I'm not coming out the gate like trying to like put down travel sports or whatever.
• 2:19
  Keri Croft: However, when you when you feel something and see something over and over again that feels off or feels weird or feels almost like a bunch of people are like climbing up a hill and just falling off the other side of it, you got to kind of raise your hand and be like, okay, help me.
• 2:35
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:36
  Keri Croft: Help me understand.
• 2:37
  Keri Croft: So you are you're in the thick of it with behind the lines.
• 2:41
  Keri Croft: And that's between the lines.
• 2:43
  unknown: Okay.
• 2:43
  Keri Croft: You're in the thick of it with between the lines.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yep.
• 2:46
  Keri Croft: And it's it's specific to basketball.
• 2:49
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 2:49
  Keri Croft: So talk to me about that specific realm and like what do you see right now?
• 2:55
  Keri Croft: What are you seeing?
• 2:56
  Keri Croft: Because obviously, with your Instagram, you feel pretty passionately about it.
• 3:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 3:01
  Keri Croft: What's happening?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, so I'm a player development coach.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_03: So basically, what I do is I work with kids on skills.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: They're dribbling, they're shooting.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: I don't really coach a team.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to coach a team.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: I would I rather work with individual players on their skills.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: One of the biggest things that I see a lot is just the some of the most, I would say, unreal expectations a lot of parents expect their child to have.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: And what I mean by that is is we're having we're having pro-baseball, pro-football, pro basketball player conversations with kids that are 10 years old.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: And like we need to let them be a kid before we start talking about pro sports or anything.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's one of the biggest things I'm seeing right now.
• 3:44
  Keri Croft: So just from my 10,000-foot uneducated view, we'll start with this because this is this is the common thread that I'm hearing from the wives, mostly.
• 3:57
  Keri Croft: Some of the men, the men's.
• 3:59
  Keri Croft: But my conversations and my orbit swirls more around the female aspect of this.
• 4:04
  Keri Croft: And so there's this thought that in order for your kid to have any opportunity to play any sort of varsity high school sport, they have to be involved in travel sports or they will be left behind.
• 4:21
  Keri Croft: So it's like a keeping up with the Joneses on, you know, but now it's in this lane.
• 4:27
  Keri Croft: You know, is that what you're hearing?
• 4:28
  Keri Croft: Is that is that what you would agree with?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: Or I think here's the here's the thing that I don't, I don't believe that your kid will fall behind if they don't play travel sports.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think travel sports is a good outlet if you just only want to play basketball, or you only want to play baseball.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, kids have to play multiple sports.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: It just develops so many different skills as far as being around different kinds of people and your athleticism changes, your coordination is going to change.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: You can, I never played a sport year-round when I was a kid.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: I played basketball, I played baseball, I played football for two years, didn't really like it, wasn't my lane, and I ran cross-country.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was always doing something, but I never, the whole year-round thing, I think, has become a big boom in the past, probably 10, maybe 10 years or so more.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: I don't remember when I was a kid it being, hey, only play baseball.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: We got to travel.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: We never traveled ever.
• 5:22
  Keri Croft: Well, right.
• 5:24
  Keri Croft: And then so another thing that you'll hear, and this is kind of just like the, you know, around the table talk about, well, only 1% of kids, or actually 3% or something, I think the the statistic is, plays for the NCAA.
• 5:38
  Keri Croft: And then out of that, 1% goes D1.
• 5:41
  Keri Croft: And then out of that, you have about a 1% chance of being, you know, in a in a professional sports environment.
• 5:47
  Keri Croft: But as a parent, you know, I think that a lot of parents would say, hey, I'm not delusional.
• 5:51
  Keri Croft: I'm actually a really good parent.
• 5:54
  Keri Croft: I'm I really want to do the right thing by my kids.
• 5:57
  Keri Croft: I just again believe they're not going to even have an opportunity to play high school sports.
• 6:03
  Keri Croft: So that's that's one thing for me as would be an argument.
• 6:08
  Keri Croft: Like that, that's what I can see myself going into the rabbit hole.
• 6:11
  Keri Croft: Because if if Dane didn't have an opportunity, or if I felt that fear, which by the way, I mean, a lot of products are sold based on fear.
• 6:18
  Keri Croft: But I think this one is such an example.
• 6:21
  Keri Croft: Um, a lot of of parents are getting in their pocketbooks and and spending money they may or may not have based out of fear that their child is gonna be like, you know, doing drugs on the street because they didn't have an opportunity because of sport.
• 6:34
  Keri Croft: You know, I mean, the things we do as parents.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: I think I'm gonna t I'm gonna tell you a story and it's probably it's gonna blow your mind.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: I was I had somebody that I was training a while ago.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: This was probably probably maybe last year a little bit longer.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_03: And the dad said to me, and the mind you, the kid is 12.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: The dad said to me, Me and my wife think X, Y, and Z is our retirement plan.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_03: And we think he's gonna play pro sports.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: They're banking on their 12-year-old son to be their retirement plan because they think he's athletically that much more advanced than everybody else in the country.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: So that's the kind of conversations we're having.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm having with people daily, is like they're all in.
• 7:17
  Keri Croft: How old is the kid?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: 12.
• 7:20
  Keri Croft: And then what's it what's the athletic ability?
• 7:22
  Keri Croft: A scale of one to ten.
• 7:25
  Keri Croft: Not that it even five?
• 7:27
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: Basketball-wise, a five.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: They're banking on basketball.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: They think he's gonna be really tall, but you know, me and you were talking off off offset, like mom's five five, dad's five's eight.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: He's not gonna be six five, probably.
• 7:41
  Keri Croft: They should probably go do the scratch offs at speedway.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: They're much better chance of doing the Powerball or scratch off at the gas station than you're putting your retirement plan on a 12-year-old.
• 7:51
  Keri Croft: So I you know, it's a good, I think, a good time to go down this little alleyway.
• 7:56
  Keri Croft: And it's it's really around intention.
• 7:59
  Keri Croft: And that, you know, you can you can convert this to anything, any conversation.
• 8:02
  Keri Croft: But what are your intentions around what you're trying to accomplish?
• 8:06
  Keri Croft: So if your intention as a parent is truly to just give your kid the a great opportunity to try to do their best in high school or whatever, and you're just kind of like in it, that then you do have these parents that I feel like are vicariously living their lives, their their missed dreams, their thing, woulda, shoulda, coulda.
• 8:28
  Keri Croft: Um, I know you also have these dads who may have had a um a successful college career in a certain sport and they want to, you know, they want to guide their kids into that same sport.
• 8:40
  Keri Croft: So you have these kids who are seven, eight years old who are now locked in and laser focused on one sport.
• 8:45
  Keri Croft: And then part of you could be like, okay, there's worse things.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:49
  Keri Croft: Then the other part of you would say something like, shouldn't like from the ages of like seven to maybe 12, it's like fall in love with what you're gonna fall in love with, let the kid decide.
• 9:02
  Keri Croft: Or is that just so antiquated?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: That was really good.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: That was really well put.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: I would say my philosophy has always been from seven to 10, you should focus on having them fall in love with the sport.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_03: Then 11 to 13, work on what they need to work on as far as fundamentals, whether they get a trainer or whatever.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then 14 through high school, they should focus on what they want to focus on.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like they should be able to, then you can put the pressure on them when they can handle it.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's the other thing, too, is we're putting so much pressure on these seven to fourteen-year-old kids to be so great at whatever that like they're not even, they don't know.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: Some of some of them don't still have their baby teeth.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: They still have a bedtime of seven o'clock.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: They can't have the pressure of what they're gonna do the rest of their life at 10 years old.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: So seven to 10, focus, have them fall in love with the game first.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: 11 to 13, focus on the fundamentals and crafting their whatever they're playing.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: And then after that, you can push a little bit to where they can handle it.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_03: That's my like pillar, pillars.
• 10:02
  Keri Croft: Yeah, like I keep going back to just for the parents, it's so hard for a parent to really step back and observe their kids' unique interests and sort of what they're supposed to be doing in the world.
• 10:18
  Keri Croft: Like, I I feel like that is like to me, that would be if you asked me like what would make a a really great parent, that would be one of the things I would say is truly allowing your kid to kind of show you.
• 10:32
  Keri Croft: And I'm not saying you're not gonna guide them, because there are there are instances I would say, the argument could be so a kid from seven to twelve, some kids truly are drawn to a specific sport.
• 10:45
  Keri Croft: I have a best friend in Chicago who's um, you know, family to me, and her son Anthony, um, he's now playing D3 and um basketball.
• 10:57
  Keri Croft: He loved basketball from the time he was, he would wear a Benny the Bull costume.
• 11:02
  Keri Croft: Okay, from the time he was like two, he couldn't go anywhere.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:06
  Keri Croft: He would play back, like he like fundamentals, dribble.
• 11:10
  Keri Croft: He was so called to that.
• 11:12
  Keri Croft: Like that's one situation.
• 11:14
  Keri Croft: I feel like, okay, pay attention to like what your kid's showing you.
• 11:18
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 11:18
  Keri Croft: But I also think like, I think it would be such a miss right now if at Dane's age that I was so pre-programmed that I felt like a specific sport was going to be the way, truth, and the light for Dane, that I'm gonna close in all other opportunities and really just laser focus him on, let's say, golf.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:37
  Keri Croft: Cause to me, if I had to pick a sport for him right now, it would be golf.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:41
  Keri Croft: But I'll be damned if I do that because it's not fair.
• 11:45
  Keri Croft: I feel like that's just taking away like part of the joy and the process of becoming as a little kid.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: Could you, I mean, like, yeah, like I I I always say like play multiple sports as long as you possibly can.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_03: If you pigeonhole a kid into one thing, just because they like it at seven doesn't mean they're gonna like it till they're 10 or 11.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_03: Their interests are gonna change, their abilities are gonna change, they're gonna grow, they're gonna get older, they're gonna be more mentally mature.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I think you have to adapt with that and not because if you pigeonhole them into one, and let's say for your example, if all he plays is golf and then he burns out by 13, he doesn't have the experience of baseball or basketball, he doesn't want to play anything else.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: So then, you know what I mean?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, I think let them experience multiple things.
• 12:32
  Keri Croft: There's something else in this that as a parent, and just kind of like what feels right to me and what feels like the rat race that people are getting wrong.
• 12:42
  Keri Croft: Yeah, or something, something that I would question is confusing the amount of games kids are playing with actual development.
• 12:54
  Keri Croft: And this is it reminds me kind of of like, just because you're busy doesn't mean that you're actually moving forward.
• 13:01
  Keri Croft: And so a lot of these parents probably are like, okay, I'm stroking the check.
• 13:06
  Keri Croft: I'm seeing a lot of games being played.
• 13:08
  Keri Croft: That's good, right?
• 13:09
  Keri Croft: The more games equals the more experience, equals his development.
• 13:13
  Keri Croft: He's gonna be better, and then ultimately we're gonna reach our goal.
• 13:16
  Keri Croft: But wouldn't someone like you, who is actually trained in the specific kid and watching them develop and knowing what kind of drills, skills, development needs to happen per each kid, wouldn't you argue all day long that you'd rather have a slower pace of the games and more focus on building that fundamental foundation?
• 13:40
  Keri Croft: Yep.
• 13:40
  Keri Croft: Parents are right missing that.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: More games equals more exposure.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: The more you play, the more colleges will see you, the more elite high school programs will see your kid, things like that.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: And I would rather, I tell people all the time, more if you look at any of this, all the studies are out, all the things now, we have higher, we have a higher rate now of youth sports ACL terrors than we've ever had.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: And it's because kids are playing 190 games in a weekend.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_03: Not a weekend, but like a lot of games over a period of time, and they're just their bodies can't handle it.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: I would rather you work on your fundamentals, work on your skills two or three days a week, you're practicing two days a week, have like two games on a weekend.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: But with the AAU circuit, that's not possible because you're practicing, they're practicing typically three to four days a week.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_03: They're playing a tournament in another state on Saturday, they're playing five games, sleeping in a hotel, getting up on Sunday, playing another five games, and then go home.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_03: So there's not really a lot of time for them to practice development.
• 14:36
  Keri Croft: So where where is that fitting in then?
• 14:38
  Keri Croft: Are people kind of just skating by that?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, people are people are skating by because a lot of parents that I've talked to that think they the more games they play, the better they'll get.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: And to a certain extent, that is agreeable.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: But also they have to think about practice.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: They're not really practicing skills, they're working on plays and stuff.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like, ooh, how to how to play a two-three zone, how to, you know, offensive plays, they're not really working on ball handling, shooting.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: The specific, it's like it's like when you get a personal trainer.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_03: Your personal trainer knows exactly what you need specifically.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: Same thing with me.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like I know what you need specifically, like whether you're not good at your left hand or whether you can't shoot from outside the elbow.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_03: Those are things you need to work on, and that's where I come in to help you with that.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: But if you're playing 12 games over the course of a weekend and praction three times a week and only working on plays, you're not working on any of that stuff.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: So that's where I would push back on the more games means.
• 15:32
  Keri Croft: Well, well, it also, it also, I don't know, something seems, I feel like you have to practice your craft.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_03: I yep.
• 15:40
  Keri Croft: And like I I guess for me, it's like, you know, I look back at my uh high school basketball career and I was not committed at all.
• 15:49
  Keri Croft: And I was okay and I was, I was good at times and very inconsistent.
• 15:53
  Keri Croft: And I think back to myself and I'm like, if you would have just spent time like actually doing drills and doing the layups and doing that, like like literally just like that stuff over and over that you need to do, especially I mean, for any sport, but basketball, it's like reps, reps, reps, reps.
• 16:08
  Keri Croft: Agree.
• 16:09
  Keri Croft: You know, what could you have done?
• 16:10
  Keri Croft: You know, it wasn't like you should have just played more games.
• 16:12
  Keri Croft: I didn't have that fundamental discipline or understanding, you know.
• 16:17
  Keri Croft: And I just I find that so interesting with everything happening with the travel sports world that like there's kind of like this miss on the fundamentals, or maybe I just don't know what it is.
• 16:28
  Keri Croft: Like, is it more money, more time?
• 16:30
  Keri Croft: It's just like no one else, not everybody else is doing it, so it may not be important kind of thing.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I know like I know like in other countries, I know like in like um Slovenia and like Serbia, places like that, they have their development stuff is they have AAU teams too, like we do, but they practice five days a week, play one game on a Saturday.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: We're the opposite.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: We play, we practice once and play five games on a Saturday.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: So there, that's why when you see the NBA players like Nikola Jokic and Luka Doncic, their skill level is way more advanced because they've worked on their fundamentals since they were seven, eight years old, where we are going to practice once five games.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: That's the big difference, too, is we're we're backwards.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: We need to go back, we need to start with practice five days a week, work on your skills, then play like one or two games on a weekend, not nine.
• 17:23
  Keri Croft: So let's go back to you for a minute.
• 17:26
  Keri Croft: Okay, because I do think this is a really great point that needs to be made, especially for kids who are, you know, pre-pubescent.
• 17:35
  Keri Croft: And I I can remember being in the eighth grade, and I can specifically remember the guy who was like the the tall, really athletic, like everybody was talking about him as like this basketball phenom.
• 17:48
  Keri Croft: And then when you went into high school, he was good.
• 17:52
  Keri Croft: He was like a fundamental player, or whatever you call him.
• 17:54
  Keri Croft: What do you call the players that are kind of like not the start superstars or like a role player?
• 17:58
  Keri Croft: Yeah, he's a role player.
• 18:00
  Keri Croft: But he by he was by no means like what everyone thought and hyped him up to be in the eighth grade.
• 18:05
  Keri Croft: And so because bodies change and and biology is different, and some people sprout up and some people stall.
• 18:12
  Keri Croft: And you're a perfect example.
• 18:14
  Keri Croft: You know, you were cut from your seventh and eighth grade basketball team.
• 18:18
  Keri Croft: Yep.
• 18:19
  Keri Croft: I can picture you being the kind of tall, lanky kid that really didn't know what to do with his body at the time.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, that's 100% right.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: I grew so fast, it was uncoordinated.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't walk and I couldn't walk and chew bubblegum at the same time.
• 18:31
  Keri Croft: So then you just well, you and you had a your dad played for the Cincinnati Reds.
• 18:36
  Keri Croft: So you had a actually you actually had a professional sports family that you were living in.
• 18:41
  Keri Croft: And I'm sure some of those skills, mentality, and the you weren't gonna be able to just give up and like not play sports, right?
• 18:49
  Keri Croft: Correct.
• 18:49
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: I think, yeah, I think I think I was just adjusting being cut in seventh, eighth grade really, really like made me.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, I was really upset because I felt like I was really good, but I knew I was just uncoordinated because I was growing so much.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: And my dad was always like, they don't understand your potential.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like they know, they don't understand that you can possibly be tall and you're gonna stop growing eventually.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_03: They should work with you now so you're better later.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: But that was just a fundamental thing that happened and it made me work harder and made me be um make me understand I need to get better, just at overall skill level.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I did pretty good.
• 19:24
  Keri Croft: So, so I mean, but that's a perfect example though.
• 19:27
  Keri Croft: And I just want to like for the the god, the mamas out there and the dad, you know, we we our whole world is just wrapped up in these kids' happiness.
• 19:35
  Keri Croft: And it should be.
• 19:36
  Keri Croft: And so I know there's so many parents who just want to do the right thing and they're just trying their hardest.
• 19:42
  Keri Croft: And, you know, their kid just may not be like the best athlete at this moment in time, and he might be or she might be, you know, in fifth, sixth, seventh grade and just trying to come in to their own.
• 19:55
  Keri Croft: But it doesn't mean like it doesn't mean that they're not going to end up being extraordinary at a sport, you know.
• 20:03
  Keri Croft: I just feel like, oh, yeah.
• 20:05
  Keri Croft: It just it just feels very um like the pressure and the mental health and all this whole other layer that I feel like this could be adding not only onto the kids, but the parents.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: I had I had a client that I've had since second grade, and she was, you know, was gonna she grew a lot and she was, but she loved basketball.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: She would play every single day if she could.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: I trained her usually about two or three times a week until she was in eighth grade.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_03: And she worked so hard, she loved the game, and she just literally had, you know, she literally her middle school coach, you know, ruined her basketball career because she he told her she went to him after practice one day and asked him, Hey, hey, you know, how come I'm not playing?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_03: I want to play more.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: How what can I do to get better?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: And the coach told her that she needed to smile more.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: An eighth-grade basketball coach told an eighth-grade girl, you're not playing.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: The feedback she got was you need to smile more.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: Not you need to work on your left hand, not you need to be more consistent from the free throw line.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing that was had anything to do with her game.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: It was her personality.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's it really bothered me because I she was has always been one of my favorites.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: And she texts me.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: It was very heartbreaking for me.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: She texted me like two months ago and told me she didn't want to play basketball anymore.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because she just lost all of her love because of that whole entire eighth grade season.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I it sucks because that happens way more than people think.
• 21:29
  Keri Croft: But that's also, I mean, a conversation for another podcast.
• 21:33
  Keri Croft: Like, would you ever tell a a guy that?
• 21:36
  unknown: No.
• 21:37
  Keri Croft: Don't get me started on that shit.
• 21:39
  Keri Croft: Don't don't like the man the man eater is starting to come out like seriously.
• 21:44
  Keri Croft: Oh, you need to smile more.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't believe it.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't believe it.
• 21:47
  Keri Croft: Were there any reper like did anybody like calling?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: Her mom and dad, her mom and dad vision went into the school.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: I emailed the athletic director.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: The response I got was, Well, we didn't think there was any ill intent.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_03: Well, first of all, that's just He's talking to an eighth grade girl and she asked him a question about how do I get better in basketball.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_03: She didn't say, How do I make how do I make more friends or how do I become more likable?
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_03: She said, How do I get better at basketball?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: How do I play more?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_03: And your response was, you need to smile more.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing to do with her basketball skill.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: And it's and it's when she sent me the text and she didn't want to play anymore.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: It it it was awful because I she has a lot of potential.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_03: She loved basketball.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: She'd play every day if she could.
• 22:28
  Keri Croft: That's fuel for anger.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: And she, yeah, and she just because that that bad experience, that entire eighth grade season, I think she just said, you know, like she even told me she was like, You're the only reason I played the last three years because you made things fun.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: And like I wanted to play because of you.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: So that made me feel good.
• 22:43
  Keri Croft: But it's still Is that guy still coaching?
• 22:47
  Keri Croft: What a douchebag.
• 22:49
  Keri Croft: I don't know you, but you're a douchebag.
• 22:52
  Keri Croft: God.
• 22:53
  Keri Croft: So back to you.
• 22:55
  Keri Croft: Was it your dad?
• 22:56
  Keri Croft: Like, who who was the one though that aside from yourself, you obviously believed in yourself enough to keep moving?
• 23:02
  Keri Croft: But like who let you know?
• 23:04
  Keri Croft: Like, once you got cut in eighth grade, you know, first it's seventh, now it's eighth.
• 23:08
  Keri Croft: It's like, wow, maybe, maybe I just suck at life.
• 23:12
  Keri Croft: So who was like who pulled you through that to get you to the other side to then you ended up playing in college and then you tried out for the NBA?
• 23:22
  Keri Croft: What college did you play for?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_03: Outerbein.
• 23:24
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: I was there for a year.
• 23:25
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um my parents had a big role in that as far as like the pulling me through that and just telling me like, hey, like, this is not necessarily a this is just a setback, you're gonna be fine.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_03: Just continue to, you know, work and just find out what you need to, you know, do to get better.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, then we didn't have like basketball trainers as glorified as it is now to go to somebody and work on your skills.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: I just literally played in the driveway from 3:30 when school was out to it got dark outside.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I just really got good and I played and never got cut ever again until later in life.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_03: I played JV as a freshman, started varsity as a sophomore, junior, senior.
• 24:07
  Keri Croft: So as a boy, what was it like having a major league baseball player as a dad?
• 24:15
  Keri Croft: Pros and cons.
• 24:17
  Keri Croft: Let's go, let's go first with pros.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: Pros were you always you always knew you you always knew you could go to somebody that had experience that was higher level than you and where you wanted to go.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like about, you know, hey, how can I get better at this?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: What do college coaches look for as far as these kind of things?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_03: So that was always helpful.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um cons were, and I say this a lot on my content, is like the the car ride home was usually not the best.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_03: Like I could have I could have 20 points and 10 rebounds in a game, and I would get told, well, you should have had 28 because you missed three free throws or you missed three layups.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_03: So that was the part that was the and that stuck with me very, very way more longer than the help, the pros of the situation, because it just I overplayed like, man, I'm am I good enough?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: Can I do this?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like I should have had 28.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like, and then you just overplay in your head.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like a lot of kids now are going through the exact same thing where they get in the car after a game and it's a post-game press conference rather than did you have fun?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm proud of you.
• 25:20
  Keri Croft: Now, let me ask you this because a lot of people will say someone can say a hundred good things to you, and that one negative thing they say is what you remember.
• 25:31
  Keri Croft: Would your dad's recollection of this just do you think he would say, No, I did, I I reinforce and told you some positive things, but you're just remembering, or was your dad straight up just always like, This is what you did wrong?
• 25:45
  Keri Croft: Like if he would have said, like, son, you know, I'm so proud of you, those 20 points were awesome.
• 25:52
  Keri Croft: Um, maybe next time we can work on a couple more rebounds.
• 25:56
  Keri Croft: Do you think you still would have stuck to, or do you think that would have been super helpful?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think it would have been very helpful.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: Because I I think when you look, when you when you're developing emotionally and mentally and physically, you want positive reinforcement, but it doesn't have to be always just, well, you could have done this better.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I think I held that on.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: I I held on to that for a very long time.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_03: But I think he knows.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like if I was to ask him right now, if he was sitting right here, he would be like, Yeah, like I know I should have been more positive.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_03: I know that.
• 26:25
  Keri Croft: Well, that's good that he that he says that.
• 26:27
  Keri Croft: He does, yeah.
• 26:28
  Keri Croft: Now has he told you he's proud of you?
• 26:30
  Keri Croft: So you're you're good.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's it comes in waves, but yeah, he's told me.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but in his own way, yeah.
• 26:37
  Keri Croft: How much of that little boy is still in there sometimes with just life in general?
• 26:41
  Keri Croft: A lot.
• 26:42
  Keri Croft: Feeling like you're not enough.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I always feel like I'm behind.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: I always feel like, you know, like if like if a like if a client leaves or whatever beyond anything that I did, I always take it personally because I feel like, well, maybe I didn't do the good enough, I didn't do a good enough job or they don't like me or whatever.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_03: But then I realize like I'm trying to be better about like what evidence do I have that this is true, what I'm thinking?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: Do I have any evidence they don't like me?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_03: Do I have any evidence their parents don't like me?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_03: No?
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, then it's probably just me overthinking.
• 27:10
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 27:11
  Keri Croft: A lot of therapy.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: Which we all a lot of therapy.
• 27:13
  Keri Croft: Are you still in therapy?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_03: Every yep.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_03: I ever it changed my life.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_03: I recommend it to anybody.
• 27:17
  Keri Croft: I highly have you have you ever considered any kind of like psychedelic journey?
• 27:21
  Keri Croft: Oh, you haven't.
• 27:22
  Keri Croft: Have you ever looked into it?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 27:25
  Keri Croft: Okay.
• 27:25
  Keri Croft: My I just, I just I haven't done it, but I um just sent my brother off to Costa Rica to do ayahuasca.
• 27:31
  Keri Croft: He's a changed man.
• 27:33
  Keri Croft: I'm like, damn.
• 27:34
  Keri Croft: He came back and he's like, he's like mother medicine.
• 27:38
  Keri Croft: And I'm like, Jesus.
• 27:40
  Keri Croft: Like okie jokey then.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's funny.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: That's a good one.
• 27:44
  Keri Croft: So I'm I want to say this because just in case it hits the earholes of a parent who needs to hear it, because I know you're trying your hardest.
• 27:58
  Keri Croft: I know you love your kids, and I know you just want to put them in a position to win in life.
• 28:05
  Keri Croft: And you can also lead with positive reinforcement.
• 28:10
  Keri Croft: Like when you get in the car with your kid after a game and you've got yourself so wrapped up and you're so triggered, and you've got some kind of weird inner child coming out of what might have been for yourself, you know, all this bullshit that's happening, just take a beat, take a breath, and just say something redeeming and positive and just try to save the criticism, even maybe, maybe in the car ride isn't the right time.
• 28:39
  Keri Croft: You know, they're also processing, they're they're processing.
• 28:43
  Keri Croft: So can you possibly just take a beat, be positive?
• 28:48
  Keri Croft: And again, ask them, did you have fun?
• 28:50
  Keri Croft: Does this feel good to you?
• 28:51
  Keri Croft: You know, and maybe just be quiet.
• 28:53
  Keri Croft: Have we can we all just maybe be play the quiet game in the car ride home?
• 28:58
  Keri Croft: What's that?
• 28:59
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 28:59
  Keri Croft: So whoever needs to hear this, because I mean, UA is amazing.
• 29:05
  Keri Croft: Our community, we're so lucky to have everything we have in UA.
• 29:09
  Keri Croft: And I drive by Northam Park and I see these dads, some who are uh, you know, of which are like past major athletes, whether it's at Ohio.
• 29:17
  Keri Croft: And I look at that and I'm like, how awesome! Like, what a great opportunity.
• 29:21
  Keri Croft: And they're all so committed, and like it's all like there's such a great redeemable thing going on there.
• 29:27
  Keri Croft: And we could probably just use a little more grace and just let them be kids.
• 29:35
  Keri Croft: You know?
• 29:35
  Keri Croft: So the dickhead dad who can't keep his mouth shut after the game is just quiet.
• 29:40
  unknown: Shh.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: And and whether you want to believe this or not, if you're out there listening and you are a parent, we know we could have done better.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_03: We know.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: We don't need you to tell us we could have had six more points.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_03: We know we missed layups, we know we missed free throws, we know we got the ball stolen.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: We know.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_03: We got it.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_03: You you telling us that only reinforces what we're already thinking in the car of like, I don't think I played well.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: And when you tell us we didn't play well, then we confirm it confirms our thoughts.
• 30:05
  Keri Croft: Let's talk about the word elite.
• 30:07
  Keri Croft: Yeah, the word the word elite is just it that word is a swirling around, like if I had a dollar.
• 30:15
  Keri Croft: No such thing.
• 30:16
  Keri Croft: I mean, what is up with that word?
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's I try to, I'm trying to, I wanted to find a way to describe like what it means to people.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_03: And like it's just it's become so like you're elite at seven, you're elite at nine, you're elite at ten.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_03: No, you're no you're not.
• 30:32
  Keri Croft: But it's all a marketing thing.
• 30:34
  Keri Croft: So the more money like this just into the parents, the and this is good, this comes into like this is where the socioeconomics comes into play, which is a whole other layer of this conversation.
• 30:44
  Keri Croft: So, yeah, parents, the more money you're paying, and like the more cushy your your league, and like they can create black, purple, green, like whatever all these like layers of stats that these kids, you know, I don't know all the details, but like those are like created, but they create those.
• 31:04
  Keri Croft: It's marketing, it's it's special, like, right?
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like your kid's not elite at No, he's not.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_03: And also you or she, and you also got to think too, like most I've seen multiple examples of this where a kid will have a tryout and they'll get an email from the parents will get an email that says, Hey, so-and-so made the team.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to reserve your spot, you gotta pay$1,500 deposit and within 24 hours, or you lose your spot.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_03: So they're gonna lose their spot if they didn't pay$1,500 within 24 hours.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: Why?
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: They made the team.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_03: That's the kind of stuff too.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's like, why are we that's all money?
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's all sales game.
• 31:37
  Keri Croft: Come on.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: It is.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: It is, and that's the problem is elite.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: You you can tell everybody, my son's or daughter's on an elite team.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_03: It means more than just being like, my kid plays rec ball.
• 31:49
  Keri Croft: And it's more about you.
• 31:51
  Keri Croft: I'm sorry.
• 31:51
  Keri Croft: Not 100%.
• 31:52
  Keri Croft: But like that, you know, like that bragging and oh yeah, my kid's on elite.
• 31:55
  Keri Croft: Let's let's also like get real with ourselves on that one.
• 31:58
  Keri Croft: How much of this, and I'm not speaking to all parents, but there's some of you out there that that might, you know, that might, you know, strike a nerve.
• 32:09
  Keri Croft: Yep.
• 32:09
  Keri Croft: And you need to ask yourself, like, how much of this is about them and how much of this is about you?
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you said it earlier, like living vicariously through their kid.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like it is a it's it they do.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_03: And it's I didn't play, you know, whether they didn't play, their athletic career didn't go the way they wanted it to, or whether, you know, whatever the circumstances, but yeah, you gotta just let your kid have fun, let them enjoy the game, let them fall in love with the process of getting better, rather than focusing on labels, rankings, recruiting websites that charge you$49 a month.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_03: That those kind of things.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be honest, we're we're sitting here together and we can all appreciate this analogy.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_03: Ryan Day is not gonna come to your house and recruit your son because you were elite at 10 years old.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's not gonna happen.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_03: No college coach is gonna come to your house because you were on an elite team at 11.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's not a thing.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_03: So just please relax.
• 33:06
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 33:07
  Keri Croft: You know, and and so speaking of Ryan Day and like these D1 massive programs that everyone sort of, you know, in their mind's eye, you dream about, you know, your kids you know, being on these uh incredible teams or whatever.
• 33:20
  Keri Croft: And so who there's someone that was talking recently, and I can't I feel like Michael Lou, I can't remember what his name is, but he was talking about how broken this system is and how if you look at some of these parents and the money they end up throwing into the travel sports aggregate, like they could have saved all that money and put it in like a 529 or actually saved money for their kids' education.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've seen that too.
• 33:48
  Keri Croft: Yeah, you know, the practical, you know, I don't know.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_03: Have you seen the numbers of how much youth sports generates per year?
• 33:55
  Keri Croft: 40 billion.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: 40 billion.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that's two times more than the NFL.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_03: We make there is more money in youth sports than the number one most popular sport in the United States.
• 34:08
  Keri Croft: Two times more than it doesn't surprise me.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's I it doesn't surprise me either, but to think of that number as two times more than the NFL is mind-blowing.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_03: Mind blowing.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_03: And and I would venture to say, if you think about a typical family, they have let's say they have two kids that play sports, they're on both on travel teams, they're traveling to another state, they're spending money on a hotel, food, gas, like yeah, not to mention the forty, five hundred dollar fee to beyond the team.
• 34:38
  Keri Croft: Right.
• 34:39
  Keri Croft: Well, let's open up this can of worms around, you know, inequality in access.
• 34:44
  Keri Croft: And there's a quote from Wes Moore.
• 34:46
  Keri Croft: Do you know who Wes Moore is?
• 34:47
  Keri Croft: So he was he actually is like the governor now of I think, is it Maryland?
• 34:51
  Keri Croft: I I can't remember exactly, but I've always really liked him.
• 34:54
  Keri Croft: I read his book called The Other Westmore.
• 34:56
  Keri Croft: It was like years ago.
• 34:58
  Keri Croft: And he said he's it was a very simple quote, and it was something like potential is universal, opportunity is not.
• 35:06
  Keri Croft: And so when I think about this and I think about the socioeconomic inequalities that go on, you know, you're going to you're gonna have a lot of kids who have a ton of potential who just simply can't afford a travel team.
• 35:25
  Keri Croft: Okay, but then they're gonna somehow end up coming up the ranks anyway, and and be able to get scholarships, not all of them, the the 1% or whatever.
• 35:34
  Keri Croft: But like, what about that conversation?
• 35:36
  Keri Croft: Like all these kids who are really talented that don't have the means, but then they still end up, you know.
• 35:45
  Keri Croft: I don't know.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't know.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, I I it's yeah, there's got to be more conversation around that too, where it's like, you know, how do we, the kids that are talented that can't afford a travel team, how do we get them to have the opportunities everybody else can?
• 35:58
  Keri Croft: I'm sure they're I I mean I haven't looked into this.
• 36:01
  Keri Croft: I'm certain that some of these leagues and whatever, they have some kind of maybe scholarship where you help pay for kids.
• 36:08
  Keri Croft: I mean, I'm certain that's the thing.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm looking at that too.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_03: That's a good topic.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'll often look into that because I don't really know much about it, but I do know there is a there is a we have to be able to make sure everybody has a chance to have the same opportunity as everybody else does.
• 36:21
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 36:21
  Keri Croft: I mean, and and they're not going to, right?
• 36:23
  Keri Croft: The world is unfair and and that's just the way it works.
• 36:26
  Keri Croft: But where you can um try to to improve or increase the chances of of kids who wouldn't otherwise be able to participate, you know, that's these are all just branches off this freaking tree that that is my brain thinking about um the sports.
• 36:41
  Keri Croft: And then I, you know, I think the last one that I'm thinking about is just like the family unit, the family dynamic.
• 36:51
  Keri Croft: That's a whole other layer, in my opinion, um ranging from the whole family sort of sacrificing, and everybody is like now leaning toward like Tommy's travel sports schedule.
• 37:06
  Keri Croft: And now the whole family unit is disrupted because of this.
• 37:10
  Keri Croft: Um, there probably are some families who are trying to scrape by and don't know how they're gonna get this money, and that puts probably more stress on the family unit.
• 37:19
  Keri Croft: Uh, we all know that finances are one of the main topics of argument slash divorce, slash, I'm gonna slit your throat, you know.
• 37:27
  Keri Croft: So I'm sure that in a lot of ways, this is not helpful to the family unit in the United States.
• 37:38
  Keri Croft: I could be wrong.
• 37:39
  Keri Croft: You're right.
• 37:39
  Keri Croft: But I want to talk about that too, and not necessarily just with you, but just, I mean, I'm putting it out here on the mic.
• 37:44
  Keri Croft: It's like, what are you experiencing?
• 37:46
  Keri Croft: Yeah, you know, with that.
• 37:48
  Keri Croft: It's hard enough right now with everything happening so fast in the world that we live in.
• 37:53
  Keri Croft: And now we've got this travel sports phenomenon that is now abrupting every single weekend or however many weekends, like what does that look like?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_03: It has to be.
• 38:04
  Keri Croft: It makes me feel it makes it really for me, when I even think about it, it drains my soul.
• 38:12
  Keri Croft: That's how it makes me feel.
• 38:13
  unknown: Yeah.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_03: It should.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's one of those things where like these parents, I mean, you these parents are spending I mean, I know like like baseball is an example.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: 9 a.m.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_03: on a s 9 a.m.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: on Saturday from 9 a.m.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_03: to like seven o'clock at night at the baseball field.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_03: And the husband's coaching, the wife has the daughter or another kid, or she's just there to watch, but like there's no alone time.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_03: There's no time to there's no time to talk about the game because you gotta go to hotel, sleep, wake up, and go play more, go play more games.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's a big conversation that needs to be had more of like family time.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how do we get take like two days by ourselves and just as a family watch a movie or go hang out or go to the park or whatever?
• 38:54
  Keri Croft: Yeah.
• 38:55
  Keri Croft: And and for someone who's listening right now, like, oh, they're just bashing travel sparts.
• 39:02
  Keri Croft: And you know, I'm I want to circle back around to the positives.
• 39:06
  Keri Croft: I I know that there are so many positives coming out of this system as well, including confidence, teamwork, camaraderie, being somewhere on time.
• 39:19
  Keri Croft: I mean, the the lessons can be the, you know, there are plenty.
• 39:24
  Keri Croft: Yep.
• 39:25
  Keri Croft: So I'm not trying to say this is all doom and gloom.
• 39:28
  Keri Croft: You know, me pointing this out and questioning things is not me trying to necessarily naysay.
• 39:34
  Keri Croft: However, there are some very valid neon sign kind of issues that I feel like need to be talked about.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: Agree.
• 39:45
  Keri Croft: And I would love, you know, so um, as we conclude, at the at the onset of this, I talked about the Instagram that I put out, and I had so many, so many responses.
• 39:57
  Keri Croft: What's also funny though to me, and I get it, not everybody wants to be have their opinions, like not everyone's as bra, I guess what's the word, brazen or audacious or whatever the word is for me to just get a microphone and talk.
• 40:08
  Keri Croft: Like I'm just like, why is that a big deal?
• 40:10
  Keri Croft: But I think it is for a lot of people.
• 40:12
  Keri Croft: So I had a lot of people privately message me, either DM or text, which was interesting.
• 40:19
  Keri Croft: And I did have people comment.
• 40:22
  Keri Croft: But the passion around this topic is real.
• 40:26
  Keri Croft: And the people who DM'd me and texted me, it was a very mixed bag, right?
• 40:30
  Keri Croft: It wasn't all like, oh, this sucks.
• 40:32
  Keri Croft: It was like, no, like, hey, I'm doing this, my kids have done this for years, and here's the the positive.
• 40:37
  Keri Croft: So I would love to have like an hour or two where I set up a time and these people can just come in.
• 40:44
  Keri Croft: And I would love to talk to people, just in like 10, 15 minute increments, even if you just want to come in and make like one specific point.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 40:51
  Keri Croft: Because I do feel like with anything, the more we talk about it, the more we share, the more understanding, you know, because truly at the end of the day, I just think about the kids, their mental health, the parents, their struggle trying to do the best that they can.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_03: And um, I don't know, sometimes there's something about this that doesn't feel Did did you happen to see the um the New York magazine article about travel sports where the mom the one lady in there was like, they wanted us to pay like money to go to Europe?
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_03: And she was like, Well, why would we go to Europe and play?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: We can't even beat the team next door.
• 41:26
  unknown: Right.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: That's where we are, where it's like, why do we have to travel?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_03: If we can't compete in our own city or our own district, why do we need to travel outside to play more people and get blown out or get beat?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't, yeah, I don't, yeah.
• 41:37
  Keri Croft: Or you know, or even like, why are we traveling to then play a team in our own city?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:43
  Keri Croft: Which happens.
• 41:44
  unknown: It does.
• 41:44
  Keri Croft: I'm like, okay, this is where you're like, am I in some kind of weird like reality TV show?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's a big tournament, there's a big AAU tournament in Louisville.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's called Run for the Roses.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's sponsored by Under Armour.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_03: And they say they, you know, promote it by saying all these college coaches are there, gonna be there, which is true.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_03: But like, I think I remember I saw something where like there was like nine or ten boy teams from Ohio at this tournament and they all played each other.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, you could have just played at the Dublin Rec Center each other.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_03: You could have played at a local high school.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 42:18
  Keri Croft: Okay, so before we close out, anything else for the good of the order that you want to get out into the the interwebs?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_03: Anything.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you're listening and you have a young athlete, or if you are a young athlete, please folk, we've got, we've got to, when you think about developing a young athlete, please think about it like building a house.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: Start with the foundation first, don't start with the roof.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_03: Fundamentals first, have them fall in love with the game, then build everything else from there.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: If you go top down, it's gonna crumble.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: But if you go bottom up, it's more likely to be a solid foundation that they can take with them for the rest of their life.
• 42:56
  Keri Croft: And please, damn it, make this about your kid and not your and not and not your hopes and dreams and and and vicarious things that just didn't that didn't come through for you, bro.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_03: I agree, bro.
• 43:07
  Keri Croft: You know what I mean?
• 43:08
  Keri Croft: Like please make it about your kid.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_03: Agree.
• 43:11
  Keri Croft: Um, okay, so again, I'm going to put something out.
• 43:15
  Keri Croft: I'm going to schedule some time on uh the show for people to come in, have conversations, pro, you know, for against just their experience around travel sports.
• 43:25
  Keri Croft: So we can come up with some kind of just, I don't know, I would love to just have a sample of just this area of the world and what we're all experiencing.
• 43:33
  Keri Croft: So again, I'm not asking people to come in and bash uh travel sports.
• 43:38
  Keri Croft: I simply want to hear your reality, and we will do a good job of mixing up the good, the bad, and the ugly.
• 43:44
  Keri Croft: And I think it's just more around an education for people.
• 43:47
  Keri Croft: So stay tuned for that.
• 43:49
  Keri Croft: That will be coming out uh sooner rather than later.
• 43:52
  Keri Croft: And thank you so much, Kyle, for coming.
• 43:54
  Keri Croft: Thank you for your patience with me and all the crazy that's happening with this show.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: No problem.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you very much for having me.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_03: This has been a joy.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: I was really looking forward to this.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_03: This is gonna be good.
• 44:02
  Keri Croft: Yeah, for sure.
• 44:03
  Keri Croft: And if you're still out there following your girl, follow me on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.
• 44:08
  Keri Croft: And until next time, go follow Kyle because he is very much worth it.
• 44:12
  Keri Croft: And keep moving, baby.