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SEASON 3 BASIC BLAQUE AFTER DARK · DA CREW Podcast

0:07
Speaker 1: K ladies and gentlemen, May I have your attention please.
2:40
Speaker 1: The show starts in seven line eight seven, six, five,
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Speaker 1: four three two one cool.
3:13
Speaker 2: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for
3:20
Speaker 2: joining us tonight. It has been some journey. We are
3:24
Speaker 2: now entering our third year with the Crew podcast Network,
3:30
Speaker 2: and I am so excited for this year. I have
3:32
Speaker 2: so many new things that are coming up. But I'm
3:35
Speaker 2: going to continue to do through my interviews on the
3:39
Speaker 2: first Friday of every month, but this year I have
3:42
Speaker 2: something special. I have a panelist and we're going to
3:45
Speaker 2: be talking on a third Friday of every month, and
3:48
Speaker 2: that's going to start in March. So I'm hoping that
3:51
Speaker 2: you'll join us because we have some surprise. We got
3:53
Speaker 2: a lot of information, and I'm gonna be honest my guests,
3:57
Speaker 2: my panelists, there are some awesome people. Wait for you
4:00
Speaker 2: to meet them, and I can't wait for them to
4:03
Speaker 2: share what I'm not gonna go that far. I'm gonna
4:06
Speaker 2: wait for them to share what they need. Yeah, But
4:13
Speaker 2: because we're gonna be together for six straight months working
4:16
Speaker 2: on a lot of stuff, and we hope that you'll
4:18
Speaker 2: benefit from it. Think that you will but tonight I
4:22
Speaker 2: want to welcome you to season three, The Basic Black
4:26
Speaker 2: After Dark, and this is the podcast that meets you
4:28
Speaker 2: where you are and gives you what you ask for. Tonight,
4:31
Speaker 2: we're tackling and then sent you yet overlooked topic. So
4:36
Speaker 2: I know men may feel a little bit uncomfortable, but
4:38
Speaker 2: I think you need to sit in on this. Women.
4:42
Speaker 2: We are talking about menopause. So wait a minute. If
4:47
Speaker 2: you are under what fifty, don't think she's not talking
4:50
Speaker 2: about me. I got a little while ago. But at
4:53
Speaker 2: least you're preparing yourself for some of the things that
4:55
Speaker 2: we're gonna talk about, because you might have some questions.
4:57
Speaker 2: And it is early menopause. It's a lifestyle that impacts
5:00
Speaker 2: women globally, but it remains shrouded in silence because people
5:05
Speaker 2: don't want to talk about it. You want to talk
5:07
Speaker 2: about it with your men, or your friend or people
5:09
Speaker 2: just are very very because sometimes people don't even want
5:11
Speaker 2: to talk about it with their doctors. But what inspired
5:15
Speaker 2: me to speak openly about menopause. I'm gonna brag a
5:20
Speaker 2: little bit. I went through it, and I didn't go
5:23
Speaker 2: through what some women go through. So sorry, but not sorry.
5:27
Speaker 2: I didn't go through the sweats. I don't feel I
5:31
Speaker 2: went through the yelling, holler and the screen, but my
5:32
Speaker 2: kids may think something different. But I didn't go through
5:35
Speaker 2: the sweats, I didn't go through the pain. I didn't
5:37
Speaker 2: go through any of those things. It just went naturally.
5:40
Speaker 2: And I thank my makeup for that one. But you
5:43
Speaker 2: never know when it's going to start. But how can
5:47
Speaker 2: menopause affect your life or career? And it affects people
5:50
Speaker 2: both physically and emotionally. There are changes in your body
5:55
Speaker 2: like fatigue and sleep issues. Like I mentioned, you can
5:59
Speaker 2: have night sweat. Sometimes you can have insomnia, and it
6:03
Speaker 2: can lead to daytime exhaustion where you're just you've been
6:06
Speaker 2: up all night long, but you're just too tired in
6:08
Speaker 2: the morning. So it's making it harder to stay focused
6:11
Speaker 2: and productive. Now some of us who are working, it
6:14
Speaker 2: can affect our korea and our workplace productivity challenges like again,
6:20
Speaker 2: lack of sleep. How many of you had brain fog? Well,
6:24
Speaker 2: this could be through the menopause. No, I'm at a specialist,
6:31
Speaker 2: at a nurse. I'm not a doctor. I don't even
6:33
Speaker 2: work in that field. All I know is I work
6:35
Speaker 2: on me, and I know some people who've been through
6:37
Speaker 2: some things, and we spoke about menopause, but it also
6:42
Speaker 2: can impact the work efficiency, now, confidence and self perception.
6:47
Speaker 2: Feeling out of control of one's body. It might lead
6:49
Speaker 2: to self doubt or hesitation in your leadership roles. But
6:55
Speaker 2: what are most common symptoms that women experienced were in minnopause.
7:05
Speaker 2: Sudden waves of heat often followed my sweating chills. You
7:09
Speaker 2: one minute you're hot, the next minute you call. How
7:12
Speaker 2: many of you thought that last night I sweat, I
7:17
Speaker 2: must have a cold, I'm coming down with something. Well,
7:22
Speaker 2: it couldn't be some of those suddain waves of heat
7:24
Speaker 2: that you're going through. And it's not because of the
7:26
Speaker 2: ninety degrees outside or one hundred and three outside, it's
7:30
Speaker 2: one hundred and three inside of you. Sleep this sturbances
7:36
Speaker 2: and insomnia, difficulty for alling to sleep or even stay
7:40
Speaker 2: asleep due to those night sweats or those hormonal ships.
7:45
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something, The body is an amazing thing.
7:48
Speaker 2: Whatever's gonna happen in your body is gonna happen in
7:50
Speaker 2: your body. So when your doctor's telling you to take
7:52
Speaker 2: care of yourself, I'm wondering if they're thinking about menopause
7:55
Speaker 2: at the same time, especially when you got a male doctor.
7:57
Speaker 2: They're telling you, well, you need to take care of yourself. Well,
8:00
Speaker 2: he never had been a pause or those monthly cramps.
8:02
Speaker 2: So but I wouldn't tell you not to take the
8:05
Speaker 2: doctor's advice. Take your doctor's advice, go to specialists if
8:10
Speaker 2: it's getting out of control. Some of us gain weight
8:15
Speaker 2: and our metabolism changes. Some of us have the slower
8:19
Speaker 2: metabolism leading to increased belly fat. Now I would swear
8:25
Speaker 2: that men had menopause because you see those bellies, and
8:27
Speaker 2: it ain't from beer all the time. I honestly don't
8:31
Speaker 2: think it's from beer. But they talk about us with
8:33
Speaker 2: the belly fat, and some people call it. I think
8:35
Speaker 2: these young people are calling the food or whatever they
8:37
Speaker 2: may call it, and they have difficulty maintaining their weight,
8:41
Speaker 2: up down, up, down, sideways whatever. It got, a little
8:44
Speaker 2: bit more over here, a little bit more over there.
8:49
Speaker 2: It happens to the best of us weight gain and
8:52
Speaker 2: metabolism changes, but it can also be due to age.
8:56
Speaker 2: A lot of this goes along with age, the age
8:59
Speaker 2: that we are, the age that maybe our parent, our
9:02
Speaker 2: mom had it. Good, good evening, How were you? Thank
9:05
Speaker 2: you so much for joining us. You know, sometimes when
9:09
Speaker 2: your mom experienced mental pause at a certain age, it's
9:13
Speaker 2: more likely that you can go through it at the
9:14
Speaker 2: same age too around that time. But it doesn't mean
9:19
Speaker 2: you're going to experience the same thing, because your body
9:21
Speaker 2: is your body and her body is her body. Now,
9:25
Speaker 2: those sleep disturbances and insomnia, and those hormonial shifts, the
9:31
Speaker 2: weight gain and the metabolism changes, those joint and muscle
9:35
Speaker 2: pains aches, the stiffness and the joint sometimes linked to
9:39
Speaker 2: the estrogen loss. That's why I say speak to a specialist,
9:43
Speaker 2: because the estrogen loss is no joke. Sometimes you may
9:46
Speaker 2: jump up in the middle of the night with those
9:48
Speaker 2: cramps in your legs. It's stiff. And sometimes we overlook things.
9:57
Speaker 2: We look at excuses for the things that's happening to
9:59
Speaker 2: your body. I make excuses all the time. Oh I
10:03
Speaker 2: just got this, it'll go away, Oh that, this and
10:06
Speaker 2: the other, and it starts to add up, and when
10:09
Speaker 2: it adds up, it becomes something. And sometimes that something
10:13
Speaker 2: can be too late. Now I know I'm a victim
10:17
Speaker 2: of that where I won't go to the doctor for this,
10:19
Speaker 2: that and the other. I don't have time. Well, turn
10:23
Speaker 2: in sixty last year. I have time because now it's
10:27
Speaker 2: all about me going to the doctor. They probably tired
10:32
Speaker 2: of seeing me, to tell you the truth, but I'll
10:34
Speaker 2: call them something hurt up, I'm calling them I got
10:36
Speaker 2: an ache of pain. Anything, I'm calling them. No more
10:39
Speaker 2: looking in the book. Sorry, Google, but you're not my doctor.
10:42
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be googling you and saying, well,
10:44
Speaker 2: Google can tell me this, that and the other. No,
10:47
Speaker 2: Google didn't do an examination of me of what's going on. Google,
10:51
Speaker 2: haven't been through this journey with my body and the
10:54
Speaker 2: different shifts and changes and you know, growths in certain
10:59
Speaker 2: areas and non gross i'll say, in other areas. Now,
11:07
Speaker 2: we can explain the difference with many things with our bodies.
11:11
Speaker 2: But one thing that I do want to talk about,
11:13
Speaker 2: and that's perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause. Now, perimenopause, that's the
11:21
Speaker 2: transition phase, typically starts in women around forty and I
11:25
Speaker 2: told you before fifty, but it could begin earlier or
11:28
Speaker 2: even later. Some people have early on set, some people
11:31
Speaker 2: have laid on set. Now when us young ladies get
11:34
Speaker 2: it and it's early on set, we missed our cycles.
11:46
Speaker 2: So we think that we're pregnant. Think you're pregnant because
11:51
Speaker 2: you don't want to accept the fact that you have menopause.
11:54
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that you're old. It means that you're golden.
11:59
Speaker 2: That you don't have to they' with all of that before.
12:00
Speaker 2: It means that you go wear white pants all year
12:02
Speaker 2: around and they ain't gotta worry about it. You can
12:05
Speaker 2: sit on your furniture, your life furniture, and don't have
12:07
Speaker 2: to worry about no surprises. When you get up, you
12:10
Speaker 2: don't have to do one of those. So I got
12:11
Speaker 2: to think on my pants. You ain't gotta do any
12:14
Speaker 2: of that anymore. So start to celebrate it. At the
12:17
Speaker 2: same time, don't feel miserable because you have that. I'm
12:22
Speaker 2: gonna say something a little bit later on about menopaus
12:24
Speaker 2: too that may get you to smile. But it can
12:26
Speaker 2: last for several years perimenopause. Some women experience perimnes pores
12:31
Speaker 2: for maybe up to ten years. The harm levels fluctuate,
12:36
Speaker 2: causing irregular periods, and that's when some people think that
12:39
Speaker 2: they're pre period, they're unpregnant. Those hot flashes, or I
12:43
Speaker 2: must be pregnant, sleep disturbances, Oh, I can't even sleep
12:50
Speaker 2: on my back anymore. It's hurting me. So maybe the
12:52
Speaker 2: baby is on its side and their mood twins. Oh yeah,
12:55
Speaker 2: I have those mood swings. I'm eating everything ovulation because unpredictable,
13:01
Speaker 2: meaning pregnancy is still possible. So don't think that I'm pregnant.
13:08
Speaker 2: Go to a doctor to find out. Don't go to
13:10
Speaker 2: the local pharmacy. There's nothing wrong with certain pharmacies. But
13:13
Speaker 2: don't go get the little stick and it comes back here,
13:16
Speaker 2: pop up, I'm pregnant. No, not always. Could be those
13:24
Speaker 2: false positives that you're seeing. That happens a lot. But
13:29
Speaker 2: think about it, forty years old, starting all over again
13:33
Speaker 2: with a new born, and maybe this is your first baby.
13:35
Speaker 2: And if that's the case, and it's a wonderful thing.
13:37
Speaker 2: I'm not taking up from anybody. I'm just sitting there
13:40
Speaker 2: talking to you about perimenopause and what some of us
13:43
Speaker 2: go through and what some of some other people go through. Now,
13:47
Speaker 2: menopause the official milestone. I'm gonna tell you right now.
13:51
Speaker 2: I couldn't wait. I could not wait. I'm sorry, but
13:58
Speaker 2: I wanted to throw a party. I want to invite
14:01
Speaker 2: people over. Let's party. And officially diagnosed after twelve consecutive
14:06
Speaker 2: months without a period. The average age of menopause in
14:10
Speaker 2: the United States is the roughly about about fifty one
14:13
Speaker 2: years old, whether it can occur earlier or even later.
14:17
Speaker 2: Estrogen and progestron those levels drop significantly, so that's where
14:22
Speaker 2: those blood tests come from when you see the doctor,
14:24
Speaker 2: because they want to see where you're at so it
14:27
Speaker 2: can tell you about you know, No, you're not pregnant.
14:33
Speaker 2: No you don't have cancer. No you don't have MS.
14:36
Speaker 2: No you don't have diabetes. You're in menopause. And that's
14:41
Speaker 2: leading to symptoms like the hot flashes, the night sweats,
14:44
Speaker 2: the vadgeing new dryness, the brain fog. No you don't
14:48
Speaker 2: need to can go full over, it's a brain fog.
14:50
Speaker 2: Some women experience more intense symptoms during this stage. They
14:54
Speaker 2: don't want to be around nobody, They don't want to
14:56
Speaker 2: talk to anybody. Some of them get to the point
15:00
Speaker 2: where they're crying really, really bad because they can't accept
15:08
Speaker 2: the fact that they have menopause. What I want to say, now,
15:13
Speaker 2: not a very religious person, but I cut in there
15:15
Speaker 2: every once in a while, I think, and that's just
15:19
Speaker 2: my opinion of the people who have theirs and you
15:21
Speaker 2: have a right to yours, but have a right to
15:22
Speaker 2: mind too. I think when you're touched and you know
15:27
Speaker 2: nobody who with that stage of menopause, he's saying that
15:33
Speaker 2: you've done your job, and now I'm gonna give your
15:37
Speaker 2: body a chance to rejuvenate and go through something else,
15:41
Speaker 2: because I'm preparing your body for something else. For one thing,
15:44
Speaker 2: he's preparing us for what way called old age. Because
15:48
Speaker 2: you imagine someone being ninety years old with their minstrual
15:51
Speaker 2: cycle and they're barely able to move around and take
15:54
Speaker 2: care of themselves and do the things that we would
15:58
Speaker 2: normally do. Imagine the name eighty five year old woman
16:02
Speaker 2: who can barely pick up a spoon or fork to eat,
16:06
Speaker 2: and she's still menoposal where she still gets a monthly cycle.
16:13
Speaker 2: Who you think who's gonna taken care of her? She
16:18
Speaker 2: has to stay cleans, it has to be changed, Her
16:21
Speaker 2: pats have to be changed. She might get to the
16:23
Speaker 2: point where she might not even know what that is.
16:26
Speaker 2: And here is the other thing. We know, the red stuff,
16:28
Speaker 2: We know what that is. But at ninety seven years old,
16:31
Speaker 2: how do we know that's what that is? It might
16:33
Speaker 2: not be her monthly cycle. It could be something else
16:37
Speaker 2: that's going on inside of her. See the man upstairs
16:41
Speaker 2: know exactly what he's doing. He know when it's your
16:44
Speaker 2: turn in your turn may not be her turn. I
16:51
Speaker 2: wouldn't care if y'all a same angel went to the
16:52
Speaker 2: same school, y'all dated these guys, and you'll got the
16:55
Speaker 2: same amount of kids, and you'll work in the same building,
16:58
Speaker 2: you live in the same neighborhood. Your body is your body,
17:01
Speaker 2: their body is their body. And when you want to
17:04
Speaker 2: be touched by an angel, I'll say it that way.
17:07
Speaker 2: You're gonna be touched by an angel. So it's nothing
17:10
Speaker 2: you can do to slow it down. Thank you so much. Hey, Patrice,
17:15
Speaker 2: how were you? Oh? Sheet says she was forty eight
17:18
Speaker 2: years old. Patrice, she said, oh heck now, oh my god, Patrice. Yeah,
17:27
Speaker 2: it can happen at any age. And I'll tell you
17:31
Speaker 2: for me, it was a joyous thing. I enjoyed it
17:34
Speaker 2: so much that it happened. I was grateful. I was
17:38
Speaker 2: beyond grateful. I just I didn't know what to do
17:41
Speaker 2: with myself after that. But then there is that post
17:45
Speaker 2: menopause life after menningpause. That's where I celebrated. It starts
17:49
Speaker 2: after menopause and it's usually confirmed maybe twelve months. Without
17:53
Speaker 2: the period, the symptoms may continue, but usually left.
18:00
Speaker 3: In.
18:00
Speaker 2: Over time, health risks shift. There's an increase in the
18:05
Speaker 2: risk of osteal promosis because again your body is changing,
18:08
Speaker 2: bones are changing, increasing heart disease, and metabola changes due
18:14
Speaker 2: to lower estrogen levels. So you have to see your doctor. Okay,
18:19
Speaker 2: you have to is very very important. Don't think life
18:22
Speaker 2: is over because I'm postmenopausal, that I'm gonna have this,
18:26
Speaker 2: so I'm gonna have those things can be prevented if
18:29
Speaker 2: you continue to take care yourself. Many women longer experience
18:38
Speaker 2: minstrut cycles or pregnancy concerns. Man on me, you don't
18:41
Speaker 2: have to go to the store and you ain't got
18:42
Speaker 2: no tampons. You don't have to go to the store
18:45
Speaker 2: and buy special underwear. You don't have to worry about
18:48
Speaker 2: it when you're sleeping in your bed and you got
18:50
Speaker 2: it on your sheets and you have to get up
18:51
Speaker 2: and wash your sheets and change your sheets. You don't
18:54
Speaker 2: have to worry about trying to soak it in bleached
18:55
Speaker 2: to get the stain out, because it's gonna turn yellow afterwards.
18:58
Speaker 2: So that's a goodbye underwear, goodbye sheets. Those are things
19:03
Speaker 2: that you might not have to do anymore unless you
19:06
Speaker 2: want to sleep on your bed with a chuck. And
19:08
Speaker 2: when you do that, you're starting to aide yourself. I'm
19:13
Speaker 2: not gonna say go out gracefully. I'm gonna say, enjoy it.
19:18
Speaker 2: Enjoy it, because here you go. Somebody younger than you
19:24
Speaker 2: may have their men of pause better. Yet, let me
19:26
Speaker 2: do it this way. What happens if you were invited
19:30
Speaker 2: to an all white party, you can wear that way.
19:35
Speaker 2: She might not be able to because she never knows
19:38
Speaker 2: where it's gonna come. There's a mine of a song.
19:40
Speaker 2: She thought that it was gonna come. Oh oh, maybe
19:44
Speaker 2: I'm a little late, or it came last week, but
19:47
Speaker 2: it could come again. It has a mind of its own. Yes,
19:50
Speaker 2: we try to keep track of it. But see, I
19:52
Speaker 2: can do those all white parties and be comfortable. And
19:55
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for it that this year I got
19:59
Speaker 2: rid of my an old chair. My old chair was
20:01
Speaker 2: a black chair. Now I got a white chair. I
20:03
Speaker 2: can sit in it incomfortable. I don't have to worry
20:06
Speaker 2: about getting up and there's oops. I don't have to
20:08
Speaker 2: worry about that. But the only thing I worry about
20:10
Speaker 2: is my granddaughter climb up in the chair, so I
20:12
Speaker 2: kept my black one over there so she could sit
20:14
Speaker 2: over there. But I enjoy sitting in this white chair.
20:20
Speaker 2: I enjoy going to those white parties because I can
20:23
Speaker 2: wear the white whenever I want to. And even in
20:26
Speaker 2: the winter, this winter white. I know somebody's else to
20:29
Speaker 2: saying you don't wear a white in the winter. This
20:31
Speaker 2: went to white. So calm your nerves. You can wear
20:33
Speaker 2: a winter white. But it's still it's still a good feeling.
20:37
Speaker 2: It is a great feeling. But there are surprising symptoms
20:41
Speaker 2: that women should be aware of. Yes, while most women
20:46
Speaker 2: expect the hot flashes in the regular period, minor or
20:53
Speaker 2: menopause can bring under Now I'm gonna be real, you
20:59
Speaker 2: know me. I'm just gonna come right out and say
21:00
Speaker 2: some stuff. There could be burning of the mouth syndrome.
21:05
Speaker 2: That's that tingling or burning or scolding sensation in the
21:08
Speaker 2: mouth around the lips or the tongue, and that's due
21:12
Speaker 2: to the hormonal change is affecting the nerve endings. That's
21:16
Speaker 2: why I say see a doctor, let them know what's
21:19
Speaker 2: going on. It might be something that you may be
21:21
Speaker 2: able to do different types of lubrication for that burning
21:26
Speaker 2: mouth and it's tingling around the mouth. Maybe it's a
21:31
Speaker 2: certain type of vasoline or bastrain annoytment that you may
21:34
Speaker 2: be able to use, or maybe some pills or something
21:37
Speaker 2: you may have to take. But then there's also that
21:40
Speaker 2: electronic shock sensitation that a lot of people go through.
21:44
Speaker 2: That it's sudden, it's unexplained. It zaps like that, or
21:50
Speaker 2: it's tingling sensations, and that usually happens before the hot flashes.
21:55
Speaker 2: Sometimes you see people around certain age did they jump?
22:02
Speaker 2: Just got zapped? Though it may be linked to fluctuating
22:05
Speaker 2: extragen levels affecting the nerve system, Still, I'm gonna say
22:08
Speaker 2: it over and over and over again, go see your doctor,
22:11
Speaker 2: because what one thing, maybe even though you're reaching that age,
22:17
Speaker 2: it could be something else, or it could be a
22:19
Speaker 2: combination of both, So you never you never know. I'm
22:23
Speaker 2: not gonna sit here and I'm gonna say I'm a
22:24
Speaker 2: doctor or anything like that. But what I am going
22:26
Speaker 2: to tell you is go see one itching skin and formacation.
22:34
Speaker 2: Now I said formification, not formication. It's a difference, and
22:38
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna go tell you what the difference is.
22:40
Speaker 2: You can go to Google fa Some women experience an
22:43
Speaker 2: intense itching sensation or the feeling like it's bugs crawling
22:48
Speaker 2: on their skin. Do to reduce collagen and mooristure loss,
22:52
Speaker 2: sometimes COCO, but is not enough to stop that itching
22:55
Speaker 2: because it can come back, and it can be an
22:58
Speaker 2: uncomfortable feeling. It honestly can be so again, you know
23:03
Speaker 2: you gotta go to You can also go to a
23:09
Speaker 2: dermatologists because it could be something else. It may not
23:14
Speaker 2: be due to menopause or even your dermatologists have seen
23:17
Speaker 2: it dozens of times where they may say that you're menopausal.
23:21
Speaker 2: So if you're in your twenties and your thirties and
23:22
Speaker 2: you're getting that itching, oh, I'm just allergic to something.
23:24
Speaker 2: I just had something that I shouldn't have eaten, go
23:27
Speaker 2: see your doctor. Could be early on set. Now here's
23:30
Speaker 2: one thing that can happen to some people. I ain't
23:32
Speaker 2: gonna try to go there and not insult in anybody,
23:34
Speaker 2: but I'm just keeping it one hundred some people. Mm hmm.
23:43
Speaker 2: Let's see what's the best way I can say it
23:44
Speaker 2: without insulting anybody. They may not realize that they offend
23:50
Speaker 2: when they're around people. Some people call it a body
23:53
Speaker 2: over but some people may not feel as though that
23:56
Speaker 2: they'll offend. And that's that again, that hormonal ship can
24:00
Speaker 2: alter your sweat composition, leading to a stronger or different
24:04
Speaker 2: smelling body older, even if hygiene habits remain the same.
24:09
Speaker 2: You could be a person take a shower in the morning,
24:11
Speaker 2: you come home from work, you wash up, you take
24:13
Speaker 2: a shower at night. You could be doing that on
24:16
Speaker 2: a constant thing, and that could be that could have
24:18
Speaker 2: been your regular routine. But your body is your body,
24:22
Speaker 2: and it's and no one's going to act up you.
24:26
Speaker 2: You can't sit there and have a conversation with it.
24:28
Speaker 2: It's going to act up and it's going to do
24:30
Speaker 2: whatever it wants to do. But one thing it is doing,
24:32
Speaker 2: it's telling you something. It's telling you to go see
24:36
Speaker 2: you know who your daughter tonight is Oh gosh, ringing
24:42
Speaker 2: in the ears. The estrogen impacts the nervous system, and
24:46
Speaker 2: some women develop ringing or buzzing sounds in their ears
24:52
Speaker 2: during men of portly think oh see that a lot.
24:57
Speaker 2: Sometimes you may see your friends that are if you're
24:59
Speaker 2: in your thirty you may see your friends doing that.
25:00
Speaker 2: Pulling on the ear might not be you know, something's
25:03
Speaker 2: in the ear. I heard something buzzing or something like that.
25:06
Speaker 2: Could be a combination of any of those those symptoms.
25:11
Speaker 2: You know who to go to go to your doctor
25:15
Speaker 2: because they're ringing in the ear and buzzing. It may
25:17
Speaker 2: not be just the e infection. It may not be
25:21
Speaker 2: that you slept a certain way at night time and
25:25
Speaker 2: you know your ear is bolved other than you go
25:29
Speaker 2: to your doctor to get that checked out. But the
25:32
Speaker 2: emotional and psychological impact on menopause and the mental health
25:36
Speaker 2: such as anxiety or depression. I don't know how many
25:40
Speaker 2: times I've seen some women who go through menopause, and
25:44
Speaker 2: I'm not faulting them, and I'm not making fun of them.
25:48
Speaker 2: They go through depression because some of them feel is dull,
25:52
Speaker 2: especially when they have partners. We're gonna talk about partners
25:55
Speaker 2: in a minute. Some of them feel that they are
26:04
Speaker 2: men apause, they have nothing to give. But then you
26:08
Speaker 2: might have some men who may think they hit the jackpot. No,
26:10
Speaker 2: she ain't be able to get pregnant. I ain't gonna
26:12
Speaker 2: have to worry about child support. Those are those keepers.
26:17
Speaker 2: I can't tell you not to be depressed because you
26:20
Speaker 2: may have had a life goal of what you expected
26:23
Speaker 2: to do by a certain age and then menopause hit,
26:28
Speaker 2: and then you gotta concern yourself with the impact of
26:31
Speaker 2: how that's gonna affect your body. But if that happens
26:40
Speaker 2: and the impact where it affects your mental health, then
26:43
Speaker 2: I want you to go see about a different doctor.
26:45
Speaker 2: And there's nothing wrong with going to see a psychiatrist.
26:48
Speaker 2: It's just to keep you leveled. And then you let
26:51
Speaker 2: your primary care physician know that you've been seeing a
26:55
Speaker 2: mental health physician. And they may say that I was
26:58
Speaker 2: gonna recommend you because I've seen you maybe a year ago,
27:03
Speaker 2: and now you are in that cycle of menopause and
27:06
Speaker 2: you just don't seem the same to me, so they
27:12
Speaker 2: want to make a referral. And all they're doing is
27:13
Speaker 2: looking out for your best interests. They're not making a
27:16
Speaker 2: referral because like some people figure doctor make a referral.
27:19
Speaker 2: They sent it to the mental health doctor. They got
27:21
Speaker 2: something in common. They getting the kickback for it, and
27:23
Speaker 2: he's writing a prescription. Boom, I gotta go to the pharmacy.
27:25
Speaker 2: All three even lined up. That's gonna be a part
27:27
Speaker 2: of that depression. You're gonna be thinking about everything. You're
27:31
Speaker 2: gonna it's anxiety is gonna set it. But again, it
27:36
Speaker 2: don't happen to everybody. Menopause can have a significant impact
27:41
Speaker 2: on your mental health, often leading to increased anxiety, depression,
27:45
Speaker 2: mood twins, and again brain fog. The hormonal shifts, especially
27:51
Speaker 2: decline in estrogen and progress progression levels. They affect the
27:56
Speaker 2: brain chemistry, emotional regulation, and stress responses. Sometimes you don't
28:03
Speaker 2: want to be around people. Sometimes any little thing can
28:07
Speaker 2: be a trigger, and sometimes you find yourself in a
28:12
Speaker 2: dark place. So ladies check on your friends. Sometimes they
28:17
Speaker 2: may just tell you that they're okay, but they're going
28:19
Speaker 2: through that phase. And sometimes it could be lonely. Now
28:25
Speaker 2: you may have already went through it, or maybe you
28:27
Speaker 2: have not. Sometimes they're not forthcoming and telling you that
28:32
Speaker 2: they're going through menopause. Some of them may be embarrassed
28:37
Speaker 2: that they're going through menopause because some people look at
28:40
Speaker 2: people are going through menopause as being old. I couldn't
28:46
Speaker 2: wait to be sixty years old because those fifties was
28:50
Speaker 2: a piece of work. In the forties de tect you.
28:58
Speaker 2: I don't even remember the forties, I honestly don't, but
29:02
Speaker 2: I'm gonna remember the Sixtiesc'm gonna be kicking it up.
29:05
Speaker 2: Menopausal went norway. I ain't got to worry about it,
29:07
Speaker 2: bathing suits, going to the beach, not wearing about a
29:11
Speaker 2: mistake or anything. Old school wrapping a sweater around yourself
29:14
Speaker 2: while you was in high school, rapping it so nobody
29:17
Speaker 2: was sees because you gotta standing on the back of
29:18
Speaker 2: your pants and you didn't bring the equipment with you.
29:22
Speaker 2: And you stand it standing. When I say stand, you're
29:25
Speaker 2: standing in the office waiting for mom to come pick
29:28
Speaker 2: you up. You don't want Dad to come get you
29:31
Speaker 2: because you don't want to talk to him about that.
29:34
Speaker 2: So just think of it this way, all them years
29:36
Speaker 2: that we even went through that, because I know some
29:38
Speaker 2: of you did, because we all got caught out there
29:40
Speaker 2: one way or another where we wasn't expecting it and
29:44
Speaker 2: girlfriend showed up without being invited. And that happens. But
29:48
Speaker 2: how can women navigate their emotional shifts that often come
29:52
Speaker 2: with menopause? Seek professional support, derreny, countsling or talking to
29:58
Speaker 2: a menopois special It can help you. Consider hormone therapy,
30:07
Speaker 2: which is the hr T hormone replacement therapy. It may
30:11
Speaker 2: ease and it may ease some severe mood symptoms. So
30:17
Speaker 2: hormone therapy. I ain't taking no pills, but you got
30:20
Speaker 2: a headache, you'll take a pill. So what's the difference. Honestly,
30:26
Speaker 2: what is the difference? If you have a headache, you're
30:30
Speaker 2: going straight to go get yourself some medicine. You wanna
30:32
Speaker 2: get a pill. Some people say I don't like taking pills,
30:35
Speaker 2: but you do. Do take it for that. Well, another
30:40
Speaker 2: part of your body needs your help. So hormone therapy
30:44
Speaker 2: might just be it for you. I'm not telling you
30:46
Speaker 2: have to go there, but it might be it for you.
30:49
Speaker 2: Practice stress reduction, mindfulness. I love this one, mindfulness meditation. Now,
30:56
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna talk about yoga. Yoga me don't get
31:00
Speaker 2: along now. I can get down there, but get back
31:03
Speaker 2: up to something else because I ain't trying to crawl
31:05
Speaker 2: on the floor to get to something to push myself up.
31:07
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna put myself through all of that. Not
31:13
Speaker 2: less look a little good over there, and I'm gonna
31:15
Speaker 2: go because I'm gonna need all sorts of help getting out.
31:18
Speaker 2: Oh I need your help to come help me get
31:21
Speaker 2: up off the floor, and then I'll be back next
31:23
Speaker 2: week doing the same thing again, long as they don't
31:26
Speaker 2: change the instructor. Or you can do those deep breathing exercises.
31:30
Speaker 2: Now for those you've had children, you know how to
31:34
Speaker 2: do those deep breathing exercises. But just take it slower
31:40
Speaker 2: and take it in, take it and then you're going
31:48
Speaker 2: through another phase and it's okay to go through that phase.
31:53
Speaker 2: Prioritize sleep. A consistent nighttime routine can improve your rest
31:58
Speaker 2: and your mood. And sometimes you get to the point
32:02
Speaker 2: where that could be the best sleep in the world,
32:06
Speaker 2: where you know that you set yourself up to go
32:08
Speaker 2: to sleep. Now, say you're a person that's usually a
32:10
Speaker 2: night out and you usually go to bed maybe twelve
32:13
Speaker 2: one o'clock in the morning. You set yourself up, maybe
32:17
Speaker 2: go to bed at ten o'clock. Your body may feel good,
32:23
Speaker 2: Your body will appreciate you, and they're gonna thank you
32:25
Speaker 2: in more ways than one. And it might be with
32:29
Speaker 2: your mood, it may help with your depression or your anxiety.
32:34
Speaker 2: Stay active. Regular exercise boosts the serotonin and it reduces
32:39
Speaker 2: the anxiety. There's plenty of ways that you can stay active.
32:46
Speaker 2: Now I'm just sitting there looking at you. Some of
32:50
Speaker 2: you know what I'm talking about when I say you active,
32:55
Speaker 2: there's other types of exercises. So you should be grateful
33:00
Speaker 2: in that stage of your life because I know he
33:04
Speaker 2: will be grateful that I A. Don't have to worry
33:06
Speaker 2: about talking about or not tonight. So there's some kickbacks
33:09
Speaker 2: from it too when you have menopause. Now, I'm not
33:13
Speaker 2: trying to make light of it for those who are
33:15
Speaker 2: going through it. I'm just letting you know that you're
33:17
Speaker 2: not alone, and there are things that happen to all
33:21
Speaker 2: of us, but it happens to us differently. Like I
33:23
Speaker 2: said in the beginning, I just suffer for any of
33:28
Speaker 2: those and I thank my Lord for not having me
33:31
Speaker 2: to go through that. But as I get older, I
33:33
Speaker 2: may go through something else because I wasn't prepared to
33:37
Speaker 2: go through those stages of menopause, and when it happens,
33:41
Speaker 2: it may be worse for me because I didn't experience
33:43
Speaker 2: that and I'm not prepared to experience the next day. Now,
33:47
Speaker 2: your social support, talking with your friends and your family
33:51
Speaker 2: or support group, it can ease emotional burdenness. Now, remember,
33:56
Speaker 2: I don't know how many of you remember. Some of
33:57
Speaker 2: you may be a little bit too young. Remember that
34:00
Speaker 2: episode I just loved the show. I talk about all
34:03
Speaker 2: the time. I talking about that work too, and we're
34:06
Speaker 2: doing marathon. Even my eight year old knows how to
34:08
Speaker 2: sing the song Good Times. Remember that time when Florida, well,
34:14
Speaker 2: she just had an attitude and things just didn't seem right.
34:16
Speaker 2: And then Michael was talking about mom may have menopause.
34:20
Speaker 2: She was going through something, and maybe she did. Maybe
34:24
Speaker 2: she was in that phase of having menopause. Look, she
34:28
Speaker 2: was with James for a long time, she already had
34:30
Speaker 2: her three kids. I saw that gray up in her here. Now.
34:34
Speaker 2: I loved the actress. That was funny. She really did
34:41
Speaker 2: she create those rules. But you could see she had
34:45
Speaker 2: her attitude. She was walking back and forth. She didn't
34:47
Speaker 2: even know what was going on. So Willona decided to
34:50
Speaker 2: take her to a women's group and she was folding
34:55
Speaker 2: her arms and she was adamant and she wasn't having
34:57
Speaker 2: no problems. Somebody asking how m how many times her
35:01
Speaker 2: and her husband have relationships? She told her was done,
35:04
Speaker 2: that their business, but she said plenty. I know James
35:10
Speaker 2: was happy, but there was still something going on with it,
35:13
Speaker 2: and I don't think she exactly knew what it was.
35:16
Speaker 2: So talking to friends, family, or support group. It can
35:21
Speaker 2: ease that emotional burden, but your partner can be a
35:28
Speaker 2: better support during this phase. So if you're a man
35:31
Speaker 2: and you're watching this, and I hope you are understand
35:35
Speaker 2: that partners play a crucial role in supporting women through menopause.
35:40
Speaker 2: You can offer understanding because they're going through the stuff.
35:46
Speaker 2: Be patient and encourage them. Now here are some key
35:52
Speaker 2: ways that you can help educate them. You've been dating them,
35:57
Speaker 2: and sometimes that could be your high school sweetheart, y'all
36:00
Speaker 2: not thinking about menopause. Who at eighteen years old is
36:03
Speaker 2: thinking about menopause? He sure isn't. He's thinking of other things.
36:09
Speaker 2: But you grow together, You start to learn a lot
36:12
Speaker 2: about each other. You get married, you have your children,
36:17
Speaker 2: and you continue to grow together. But your body is
36:23
Speaker 2: also growing and is grown in different ways, and it's
36:26
Speaker 2: offering you different opportunities. Yeah, your body do offer you opportunities,
36:31
Speaker 2: the opportunity to take care of itself or the opportunity
36:36
Speaker 2: to not take care of yourself. And when that happens,
36:39
Speaker 2: things are going to happen. So you educate them and
36:42
Speaker 2: educate yourself. Try to be patient with your partner while
36:46
Speaker 2: you're going through that because he should be patient with
36:48
Speaker 2: you too, because he doesn't know what's going on. He
36:52
Speaker 2: doesn't he has an experience. Maybe I have some sisters
36:57
Speaker 2: or something like that, but he's not paying them any attention.
37:00
Speaker 2: I can garantee he's not. They may have thrown the
37:02
Speaker 2: shoe at him and he might not have known why
37:05
Speaker 2: it happens. Be patient with him, and for you guys,
37:09
Speaker 2: be patient with her, Be supportive to each other, help
37:16
Speaker 2: with lifestyle adjustments, because it's gonna be an adjustment for
37:19
Speaker 2: her and it's gonna be an adjustment for you because
37:23
Speaker 2: if your thing was to be together on a Friday
37:25
Speaker 2: night and she's not in the mood. Patient, ladies, let
37:32
Speaker 2: me tell you something. Sometimes these men can feel it.
37:36
Speaker 2: They feel that energy from you, so they can get
37:39
Speaker 2: it too. Where they may not be in the mood
37:40
Speaker 2: when you are, because right now you're not feeling that,
37:43
Speaker 2: you're not feeling that menopause is taking over and that
37:46
Speaker 2: you're feeling down in the dumps and whatnot. So you're
37:49
Speaker 2: ready to be okay that night, But you're gonna put
37:52
Speaker 2: this brother through a whole week of mess and we
37:57
Speaker 2: can get messy. And I'm gonna tell you we can
37:58
Speaker 2: get messy. We can have an ad attitude chucking out
38:01
Speaker 2: tea on out our same thing that we shouldn't say
38:08
Speaker 2: to that were gonna regret later on. Well, right now,
38:11
Speaker 2: he's in his feelings and he has a right to
38:14
Speaker 2: be in his feelings as well. See, I'm not always
38:16
Speaker 2: on the lady's side, because what's right is right and
38:20
Speaker 2: what's wrong is wrong, and sometimes ladies, we can be
38:24
Speaker 2: dead wrong. Communicate about intimacy, Explore new ways to connect
38:33
Speaker 2: emotionally and physically. Find new ways. I'm quite sure you
38:37
Speaker 2: can be creative and to tell you the truth, those
38:41
Speaker 2: ways that you find and exploring each other. It's like
38:47
Speaker 2: a road man, but not a bumpy road. You can
38:53
Speaker 2: explore different things about your partner that you didn't know before. See,
38:59
Speaker 2: both of you aged, You did in age, and he
39:02
Speaker 2: just sat there. You're not fifty and he's still eighteen.
39:06
Speaker 2: You and he have a fifty year old body. And
39:10
Speaker 2: things may not twist the way that they used.
39:13
Speaker 3: To twist when you're intimate, but they could twist just
39:19
Speaker 3: right enough for you and both y'all are comfortable with
39:23
Speaker 3: it because you have that mutual understanding.
39:26
Speaker 2: Instead of not saying anything and keeping in the secret
39:29
Speaker 2: and then feeling as though you don't have it anymore,
39:31
Speaker 2: He don't have it anymore. Communicate with each other because
39:35
Speaker 2: both of y'all could be thinking the same thing but
39:37
Speaker 2: afraid to say something to each other. But if you
39:40
Speaker 2: sit there and you have a conversation and you let
39:42
Speaker 2: him know how you felt, and it's not a book
39:47
Speaker 2: playing like well you were doing it, listen because it
39:52
Speaker 2: could be about the way you were feeling. Some of us,
39:58
Speaker 2: some of you too, fake it. But is that fair
40:02
Speaker 2: to your partner? Be honest? Is that fair to your partner?
40:06
Speaker 2: If you're going through menopause and you're in a depressive
40:10
Speaker 2: kind of mood and it's a little anxiety there, and
40:13
Speaker 2: you know that y'all haven't been intimate in a while.
40:17
Speaker 2: Figure you know, don't want your husband to go straight
40:24
Speaker 2: so bad? Just think about it. What did you get
40:32
Speaker 2: out of it? You didn't communicate with them, so him
40:35
Speaker 2: touching you in certain ways, not feeling that you don't
40:39
Speaker 2: want to be touched like that. But if you communicate,
40:44
Speaker 2: he can hold you gently in a different way, in
40:47
Speaker 2: a way that makes you feel comfortable. All you gotta
40:50
Speaker 2: do sometimes is just wrap his arms around you and
40:52
Speaker 2: that could be your intimacy. You can let them know
40:56
Speaker 2: at times when you want to be helped and when
40:59
Speaker 2: you need to be helped, because, believe it or not,
41:02
Speaker 2: they need to be held too. I'm not talking about
41:05
Speaker 2: spoiling a baby. But this is the time where you
41:08
Speaker 2: are finding out more about each other. You're learning more
41:12
Speaker 2: about each other, you're exploring each other. Because out of that,
41:16
Speaker 2: you may be a little bit more intimate because you're
41:19
Speaker 2: starting to feel comfortable. You're laying back and you're feeling comfortable,
41:23
Speaker 2: and both y'all are having a conversation. First, when just
41:28
Speaker 2: think about it, when is the last time that you
41:33
Speaker 2: were intimate with your partner and y'all had a conversation. First,
41:38
Speaker 2: be honest, you had a conversation. And I'm not talking about, oh, well,
41:41
Speaker 2: tonight at eight o'clock, we're gonna get busy.
41:43
Speaker 1: Now.
41:44
Speaker 2: I'm talking about both of y'all in whatever area you in,
41:47
Speaker 2: wherever you have your little intimacy at and y'all are
41:51
Speaker 2: together and y'all are snuggling, and y'all are having a conversation.
41:54
Speaker 2: And I'm not talking about that one and done conversation.
41:57
Speaker 2: We're talking about y'all are really talking about things your
42:00
Speaker 2: body and his body that's a him. And because I'm
42:10
Speaker 2: telling you, you're gonna find out about some things that
42:14
Speaker 2: you didn't even know. There's gonna be ways of doing
42:19
Speaker 2: things that you didn't even know. Now I know I
42:22
Speaker 2: moved away from menopause. When I'm wrapping it right back
42:24
Speaker 2: around it, it's because of menopause that it can have
42:30
Speaker 2: you thinking a totally different way, and it can also
42:34
Speaker 2: have you satisfying each other in a better way to
42:40
Speaker 2: have a better relationship. Maybe they'll even go and accompany
42:46
Speaker 2: you to the doctor so they can get a better
42:49
Speaker 2: understanding of what you're going through and what you may
42:51
Speaker 2: be going through. Sometimes when women go to the doctor
42:55
Speaker 2: and they think and they're pregnant and the doctor tells
42:58
Speaker 2: them they're not in their partners there he goes running
43:00
Speaker 2: out of the room. Now he may be excited or
43:03
Speaker 2: he may not be excited. Wanting to be a father
43:05
Speaker 2: at fifty some years of age. The best thing for
43:08
Speaker 2: him to do is love on his wife. But the
43:13
Speaker 2: best thing for you not to do is to push
43:17
Speaker 2: him away because he's hurting just like you. Maybe he
43:20
Speaker 2: was expecting to be a father again and that could
43:24
Speaker 2: hurt him just as much as it's hurting you. Before
43:28
Speaker 2: we wrap this up, and I thank you all for
43:30
Speaker 2: being here tonight and talking about the N word. Yes, menopause.
43:36
Speaker 2: I want to share with our listeners that you can
43:39
Speaker 2: connect with me at any time. I'm trying to get
43:43
Speaker 2: better at social media, trying to get on a little
43:45
Speaker 2: bit more, trying to stay on a little still. Right
43:53
Speaker 2: about now, he may be cutting some of these social
43:55
Speaker 2: media is down or merging some of them and whatnot. Look,
43:58
Speaker 2: I just say, I give up. Do what you feel
44:01
Speaker 2: like you gotta do, and when at the end, just
44:03
Speaker 2: let me know, because I'm already having problems just trying
44:07
Speaker 2: to get through whatever it is that I'm trying to
44:08
Speaker 2: get through. Right now, there's so many different names of
44:14
Speaker 2: social media, something new that then come up. I'm sitting
44:17
Speaker 2: on the side. Somebody today told me about something and
44:24
Speaker 2: I think it began with a ask. I'm sorry. I
44:28
Speaker 2: probably wasn't even paying attention because I'm still trying to
44:30
Speaker 2: get through Facebook. But I appreciate you all learn more
44:37
Speaker 2: about the work that you put in with menopause and
44:40
Speaker 2: support your initiatives and your friends and your family. Again,
44:47
Speaker 2: we're wrapping up this episode and for a brand new
44:51
Speaker 2: season on Basic Black after Dark. I hope you continue
44:54
Speaker 2: to enjoy us. I want to thank our listeners for
45:01
Speaker 2: your continue to port last year and the year before that.
45:04
Speaker 2: It meant the lot to me. It meant a lot
45:06
Speaker 2: to our network. We're bringing even more exciting guests, deeper conversations,
45:13
Speaker 2: and an added platform for those who are just tuning
45:15
Speaker 2: in or tuned in late. We have a panel that's
45:18
Speaker 2: coming up and they're gonna be sticking around for six months.
45:20
Speaker 2: And we've spoken briefly and we just got everything together
45:23
Speaker 2: and they're excited and I'm excited for them, and I'm
45:26
Speaker 2: excited to be with them, and they're excited to be
45:28
Speaker 2: a part of this panel. So making that connection is
45:35
Speaker 2: going to be a little easier. But I want you
45:39
Speaker 2: to come back join us on February twenty. First, I
45:43
Speaker 2: have not one, but two authors that I'm gonna be
45:46
Speaker 2: speaking to, Naji Scott and Patricia Wallace. They have books out.
45:53
Speaker 2: You heard those names, nag Na d J e j D.
45:56
Speaker 2: Scott check out her book and Patricia Wallace. They're also
46:01
Speaker 2: on Facebook. You may just want to look them up.
46:04
Speaker 2: Friend Then, until then, stay safe, stay inspired, and thanks
46:12
Speaker 2: for keeping it basic. Remember this is Black Diamond from
46:15
Speaker 2: the Crew Network, where we meet you where you're at
46:19
Speaker 2: and we give you what you ask for. So I'm
46:21
Speaker 2: hoping tonight I gave you maybe a little bit more
46:24
Speaker 2: than what you may have asked for. Tell you the truth,
46:28
Speaker 2: I kind of gave myself a little bit more than
46:30
Speaker 2: what I asked for. So good night, have a safe weekend,
46:37
Speaker 2: enjoy each other. For those who are going through that,
46:40
Speaker 2: love on each other. Think about it. Take your partner
46:46
Speaker 2: with you. Don't take advantage of your partner, give them
46:49
Speaker 2: that space and tell them good night. Thank you.