Latest / Inspiring Stories / Nancy Pickard on what makes us happy - Glimmers

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Nancy Pickard on what makes us happy - Glimmers · Inspiring Stories

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Thank you for listening to De Pictures Media Radio. You rat you readything to
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me? Oh well, jus well not a bad alone, I just see
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it, so lash alone you Welcome back, everybody. We want to talk
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about glimmers today and we're going to talk with Nancy Picard about glimmers. And
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this all came about because I found a LinkedIn post from Nancy about the topic
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of glimmers and what it is is it seeds things that feed your flame of
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life, that make that life spark, that life flame brilliant and bright and
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as she puts on a scale from one to ten, ten being the brightest
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flame that you that you can possibly have in your life, that these glimmers
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feed that flame. And they're just little events that make you happy, make
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you feel good, fill you with energy. Those people that also help for
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you with energy because they just feel so good to be around. You're gonna
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hear Nancy say some things, maybe about her children, her grandchildren, and
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maybe even her the fact that she climbed Mount Kelimanjaro. Maybe we won't hear
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some things about that, but it's Nancy's term glimmers and how they help feed
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our life and help us move past that comfort zone and into the success and
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purpose that we're supposed to have in our lives. So why don't we bring
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Nancy into the show and let's talk about Glimmers something we can Well, I
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posted one thing. I posted a meme about Glimmers, and really, what
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Glimmers is is just I don't remember what we talked about on your last podcast,
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but basically getting what I normally talk about. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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we stay very focused to your book. Oh we did, Okay,
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far away from that, I've been doing much more relationship and marriage coaching.
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So that's actually where where I've been going. But I go wherever the podcast
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wants to go. But oh no, no, because it's all about relationships
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in the end, right, Well yeah, I mean well not all,
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no, not all My coaching is about relationships, you know, No,
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I mean our lives. It's all about yeah yeah, but and and learning
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how to move forward. So Glimmers, so I'll get you to find h
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is just climbers. Is is the opposite of looking for what's wrong in your
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life. So people we always have a negative bias, Like that's basically through
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evolution, you got to look at what's wrong, so you could stay safe.
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You know, you don't have We don't have a tiger coming after us
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anymore, so we don't have to do that. But our negative bias is
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still the same, that everyone's always looking for what's wrong instead of what's right.
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And so I always talk about putting on prepaired glasses and looking for what's
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right. And that's what glimmers are. The glimmers are the things in your
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life that that spark you up right. And so yeah, but that's a
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comfort zone. So we can go wherever you want to go. I don't
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care at actually get a really good, good tie in for that. Okay,
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okay, So is it new artwork behind you? The same artwork I
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that's from the that was at the bottom of Kill Him and Jarrow after I
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climbed Killing Jaw. They were artists at the bottom that were probably yeah,
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thank you. I didn't until you closed the door. I hadn't noticed that
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that that actually makes a big difference. Well, but I'm also I mean
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the way yeah, yeah, yeah, it no, it makes it.
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It makes your artwork come up a little a little bit more because you closed
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the door. Yeah, well now you've hitten the door. So yeah,
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we're even better if it just frames better. It's not new how that I
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got to the bottom of kill Him and Jaro and a rolled thing. I
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took it home. I probably paid less than one hundred dollars to buy it,
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and I probably spent ten times at to frame it. When you get
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back to yees, see, that's why I learned to frame myself. I
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spend a lot. Yeah, no, actually you can. I understand you
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can spend a lot some framing projects. I've done some framed some photographs for
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people that just in glass alone that we paid like hundreds of dollars just for
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the glass. Yeah. Yeah, So anyway, yeah, now I do
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have the sound completely balanced out. You always have a good story, all
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right, So why don't we get started in five four three two one?
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So welcome back, Nancy. And I remember it was a few months ago
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that I saw a post of yours about glimmours. And one of the things
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that people do when they's really gets stuck in it in their comfort zone is
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they get stuck on on what's wrong with them and instead of what is right
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with them. And I remember a post to yours being about glimmers where we
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start to focus on what's right in our lives so we can be grateful for
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them and move forward right exactly, So we have a negative bias. All
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of us have a natural negative bias. It comes back from our caveman days
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where you had to be like, am I safe? Am I safe?
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Am I safe? What's not working in my environment? What's not right?
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You know, we don't have those silver tooth tigers coming after us anymore,
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but we still innately have the bias to look for what's wrong. And so
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I talked to my clients all the time about taking off the what's wrong glasses
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and putting on what's right glasses and looking your life through what's right. Because
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when you look for what's wrong, the only thing I can promise you is
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you're going to find it. And what you put your attention on is what
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you get more of. So if you're looking for what's wrong, you're going
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to find it and you're going to get more of it. You know,
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if you think, oh my god, nothing ever works out for me,
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well guess what, nothing's going to work out for you. So glimmers are
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those things in our life that actually bring us joy, that are working.
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And what's a glimmer for me? May not be a glimmer for you.
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But you know, if you get a hold of what your glimmers are,
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if you take a little time and make a list of the things that jazz
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you up, you know what makes you feel joyful, what makes you feel
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alive, what gets your you know joa de Devi going. Those are the
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things you want to put your attention on, and you want to incorporate them
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more in your life. You know, Oh, like I feel really great.
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I personally, this is me speaking. I have to be outside every
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single day, hiking, biking, skiing, pick a balling. I have
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to be outside even if it's raining. I'm outside with my dog and I'm
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in the elements. And that's a glimmer for me. That jaes me up,
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that charges me. That's like, if I do that, then whatever
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else I have to do for my day works. And so that's actually how
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I schedule my life. I lots of times, maybe three or four days
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a week, I'll have a client at seven thirty in the morning, but
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then I don't work again until one or two every single day, and that
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whole great, juicy part of the day belongs to me being outside in nature
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with my dog, doing one of those activities. Those are glimmers for me.
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Yeah, there's I'm going to invite everybody to look for you on link
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LinkedIn. I'll say that again. I'm going to invite everybody to look for
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you on LinkedIn. And Nancy's last name is spelled p I C K A
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r D. For those of you who may be Star Trek fans, put
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the K and picard and you got it, and you got Nancy's name.
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Give me for that, Nancy I plated. But there's there's lots of pictures
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of you on LinkedIn where you got your bigger, better braver ball calf on
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and you're outside whitewater, rafting, rock climbing, whatever it is out out
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there in nature, and it's exciting to follow you that way also because that's
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your glimmers, right, Those are glimmers. I have a lot of.
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Just just being with my dog is a glimmer. I mean being with my
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partner and doing something fun. Being with my girlfriends is always a glimmer.
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I love playing pick a ball with couples and girlfriends like those things. They
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jazz me up. SODA's sitting there on Zoom and letting my eight year old
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grand children read to me, or me reading to my three and a half
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year old grandchildren. Those are all things that like just make me feel good
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about life. And we all have them, and some of us have more
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than others, and some of us just need to spend some time making a
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list so that they recognize them and we all get them. Yeah, So
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making a list, writing them down these things is that the first one of
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the first steps in actually being able to focus on them so you can introduce
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more of them into your life. I think when you write something down,
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it becomes a plan, it becomes real. And I just think that we
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are so busy in our lives doing versus being that we don't really take the
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time to really say, Wow, these are the things that I'm working in
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my life. These are the things that I talk about people having an internal
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flame. So on a scale of one to ten, I'll say to my
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clients, where's your flame today? You know, is it a rip roaring
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ten and life life is just rocking and everything's working and smooth and you couldn't
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be happier, Or is it a three where you know you're bogged down and
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you got a lot of incompletes in your life, and some of your relationships
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aren't working, and so your flame is pretty low. So then I'll say,
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okay, so what did you do this week that raised your flame?
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And what did you do this week that lowered your flame? So when you
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start to get out an autopilot and see the things that are actually raising your
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flame, so you can do more of those versus lower your flame. Like,
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oh, every time I talk to this person, I have a low
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flame. Well let's not talk to this person every day, or you know,
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really back off from your communication with people that are not feeding you right,
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not feeding your flame, And that's you've got to get out of autopilot
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so you can even recognis what's working and what's not. Yeah. Yeah,
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I noticed that because more recently that my niece and one of my close friends,
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they are both in the hospital, and they're both in the hospital for
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pretty much the same reason that they have spent so much time ignoring their own
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self care and their own self worth. And we're not going to get into
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too much the psychological or the category reasons for it, but they landed in
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the hospital and I'm trying to communicate with them and all that kind of stuff,
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and I noticed that my flame usually has a very big flicker, was
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much lower flicker. So I decided that this weekend, I'm going to take
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a break from going to visit them in the hospital, and I'm going to
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do something more for myself. And yeah, I mean, you know,
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I can have clients that are depressed in a bad way, and it's hard
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to keep your energy up because their energy is so low. And so sometimes
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my energy can feed their energy and bring them up. But sometimes their energy
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is so low that I get off the phone and I'm like, I've got
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to do something to bring my energy back up, right, So speak off
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of each other's energy for sure. Yeah. The only thing I'll say about
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the self worth and the self care is that if you don't feel worthy of
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taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority, then you have no self
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care. And so that's the problem that would be, bottom line, wouldn't
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it. Yeah. Yeah, you have to care enough about yourself to reckonize
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that your needs matter, your voice matters, taking care of yourself, putting
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yourself first is all part of recognizing your own self worth. Yeah. No,
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I'm going to dive into this for a second, because you have a
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spectrum of things that you actually help people with, from going out on stage
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and being the public speaker to just simply learning to speak better with those that
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are in your own home right and going back to that self worth. If
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you don't feel worthy, all those other things start to suffer, don't they.
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Well, yes, if you don't love yourself, it's very difficult for
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you to love somebody else. You're feeding off of other people because you can't
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feed off of yourself. If you don't stand in your own self worth,
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you don't set healthy boundaries. And that's one of the things I do is
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I'm a boundary coach you. So you don't set healthy boundaries, you don't
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make yourself a priority. You kind of have this feeling like, well,
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if people love me, they'll know, they'll know what I want them to
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do. Well, if that's not true, we're not mind leaders. You
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have to be able to tell people what you need and what you want with
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grace and ease, a request versus a demand, so that you needs met.
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And people who have very low self esteem or they have a childhood belief
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buried in their subconscious that I need to be perfect to be loved, or
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I need to stay quiet to be safe, or I need to take care
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of others to be loved. These are the kinds of beliefs that we're not
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even aware that we have, but we have them from our childhood that actually
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keep us from being able to make ourself a priority or to stop people pleasing,
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or to learn and that being selfish is not a bad thing and being
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selfless is not a good thing. That they're on the same continuum, and
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you need to be someplace in the middle. You need to know when to
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be selfish and you need when to be selfless. Yeah, so how does
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that actually work out? Because we have this gut feeling, it's like we
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should be paying closer attention to it, and that will tell us when we
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need a little more less and a little more issue. I think that if
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you wrap your head around being selfish or being selfless is not a good thing,
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that you disappear. There's less of you selfless, right. Yeah,
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when you can wrap your head around that, there is definitely putting yourself first
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and making yourself a priority is a healthy thing to do, and that it's
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just like being on an airplane and putting your own mask on first so you
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can help others. If you are so busy taking care of everybody else and
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there's no time for you. You end up being very depleted, and you
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end up being passive aggressive, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere,
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you'll explode because your needs have not been met for so long and you
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don't even realize that they're not being met because you haven't made yourself a priority.
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You can't expect other people to make them you a priority when you don't
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make yourself a priority. And so I tell people you can't be angry for
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not getting what you never asked for, right, Just what happens. People
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think their family is going to be a mind leader and they're not. Yeah,
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well, there's a lot a lot of that to eat in the entertainment
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industry where the script says that oh I gave of myself and and the people
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just understood that I need that thing. It's like, that's not reality,
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right, not reality? And I think that the biggest problem. Many people
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have more women than men, but I know a lot of male clients that
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are the same way that when you overgive and when you tie yourself up in
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a pretzel to be digestible to other people, you lose yourself and when you
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lose yourself, you're lost. Really Like, I am really good at taking
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care of myself, knowing what my needs are and making sure that my needs
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get met and asking for what I need. I talk a lot about relational
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generosity, which is you give your partner whatever they're asking for if it doesn't
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cost you too much to give it to them. That's what you do.
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That's being relationally generous. And I do that my life, and I do
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that with my partner, and I do that with my children. But I
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also have a stop now that I didn't used to have, where Okay,
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this is actually going to infringe on my time too much, or it's going
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to take too much from me, or I can't come that week, but
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I could come this week. I'm I've gotten really clean and clear on my
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own boundaries and it's made me a more peaceful, productive, happy human being.
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Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. What doesn't make sense to me?
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Though? And I hear that, I hear uh people say this all
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the time that oh, well I have to I have to leave hints for
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him, or I have to like, well, I have to guide her
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towards something. Is like rather than just simply asking for what it is that
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you want. Be clear. There's no place for being passive aggressive. You're
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so much better off not only asking in a request for what you need,
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but then empowering your partner to actually be successful in giving you what you need.
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So would you be willing to check in with me every night before you
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come home so I know when to make dinner? All right? That would
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be a request what do you need from me? So that you can do
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that. Maybe we're going to say could you just text me around four o'clock
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and check in? And I'll say, well, no, I actually don't
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want to have to do that. But what I will do is set up
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a reminder on your phone at five o'clock every day, so at five o'clock
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you can tell me the reminder will go off. That's all about you,
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It has nothing to do with me. And you'll tell me what time are
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you coming home so I can plan my evening Like that's empowering them to give
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me what I'm asking for, right, Yeah, I see. It's not
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really as hard as it sounds. Is it so easy? A lot of
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people have a lot of trouble being vulnerable and asking for what they need,
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and that's where the messyness comes in because they don't ask for what they need
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because they don't want to be vulnerable. But then they actually are making communication
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really poor, and then they're going to get mad and the other person's not
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going to know why are they getting mad and what's going on? And so
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yeah, I think clear communication, open communication, honesty. Really, when
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you're listening to your partner, when your partner has a need, stop listening
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to respond or to talk about your part. Just be in their part.
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Just be compassionately curious to their interpretation, their subjective interpretation of what happened.
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If they're trying to repair and talk about something, don't make it your time
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to put in your two cents about what's going on for you. Let it
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be about them. Let them be there for them, and you can talk
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about your stuff another time. That's being a good listener and moving towards repair
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instead of away from it. That's good advice. No wonder you're the coach,
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were with a lot of couples, marriage, you know, relationships,
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relationships not just you know, husband and wife, but mother and daughter,
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all kinds of Yeah, seems yeah, oh, that's part of part of
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it is. You also say team where if we're working as a team,
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we can communicate freely amongst ourselves to working towards a common goal. Right,
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Yeah, you have to get over who's right and who's wrong. It doesn't
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matter who's right and who's wrong is who cares? You know, you want
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to be in a happy relationship or you want to be right, because you
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can't be both right, and so it's about you know, a lot of
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times in relationships there's one that's up and one that's down, like power over.
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I try to bring them the same as you can have power over or
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you can have a relationship. You can't do both, you just can't.
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So a lot of times it's just helping people see the patterns that they're doing
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in the relationship and it's the pattern that's not working. When he does this,
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I do that, and then when they do that, then I do
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this, and we're off to the races. Instead of instead of relating,
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they're they're reacting correct. Yeah, when you're doing the whole hand thing.
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Uh. It reminded me of the saying and you so here a lot of
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people say I want to make sure I get the upper hand, and it's
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like, do you need the upper hand or do you need to just simply
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communicate right, Yeah, you need to be on the same level. Yeah
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that. Yeah, yeah, it's hard you get into like you know,
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relationships are hard. Nobody said relationships are easy. Relationships are hard. Do
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you actually work together with somebody to heal your wounds? And so, to
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heal your wounds means that you've probably attracted somebody who is similar enough to the
26:48
parent that caused the wounds, but different enough that you're hoping for a different
26:52
outcome. And so when you get together with somebody, your wounds fit together,
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like, you know, like a lock and key, and you can
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either see where the triggers are and then work on yourself when you're feeling triggered,
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knowing that, oh, yeah, this person's in my life, so
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I can work on these things. Or you can have all these fights and
27:17
blow ups and not work on yourself and end up splitting with that person and
27:22
bringing the exact same wounds into the next relationship. So my advice to everybody
27:27
is stay with the relationship you're in. You've already attracted somebody in to work
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on the exact wounds you need to work on, and don't expect your partner.
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To heal your wounds, you have to heal your own wounds by recognizing
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the triggers and then learning how to work from there. Yeah, that makes
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sense. Yeah, triggers are there, are there for us to learn,
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right, Triggers are there to show us where still not healed. Yes,
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so yeah, and that becomes it becomes a really really good process. And
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I was reminded of this that seeking out help like from you, to to
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actually, hey, we're in a rough patch. Why don't we turn to
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someone like maybe like Nancy or or someone like you that they will help help
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us be a guide because yeah, yeah, for sure, I'm a relational
28:37
life therapist and well I'm a relational life coach from the Relational Life Therapy School,
28:44
and I help people all the time. A lot of them are on
28:49
the brink of divorce and they can't believe that within like three or four weeks
28:52
they're in such a better place because of just the communication tools and showing them
28:59
the patterns and helping them see what their wounds are and where they are and
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what they need to do and to work on it together as a couple.
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So that I work towards relational empowerment versus individual empowerment. So so you help
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you help them. If I'm putting this the right way, you're going to
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have to you're gonna have to like correct me a little bit. See,
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So you help them provide a safe place for them to heal each other's wounds,
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and they're providing a safe by being in that relationship. They're providing that
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safe place that you can heal your triggers and hear heal the wounds that are
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there. Right, Yeah, the only thing you said wrong is that nobody
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but you can heal your wounds your partner, others you so that your wounds
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are activated. But then it's your job to work on why you're still getting
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activated. You know what they say, how are you interpreting it? How
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else can you interpret it? How can you stop the communication and take a
30:14
time out so that you can come down from your dysregulation that you're in at
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that moment and get back into a regulated state. I talk about the wise
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adult part of your brain, which is the prefrontal cortex, or the adaptive
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child part of your brain, which is the childish part of your brain that
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as a child, you learn to adapt to all the things that you needed
30:36
to adapt to and so it kept you safe as a child. It was
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you know, adaptive then becomes maleadaptive as an adult. And so when we
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get triggered and we get this wsh and we're angry and we want to do
30:48
something bad, we're in our adaptive child. And when I can help people
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recognize what it feels like to be in the adaptive child, I can also
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then teach them you need to take a time out so you can regulate and
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get back into your wise adult part of your brain, so that you're not
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going to act foolishly and you're not going to say things you don't want to
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say, because your adaptive child part of your brain is not interested in intimacy
31:15
or relationality. It only wants to do what it knows it did as a
31:21
child, and it does not care about the relationship at all. It's all
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me, me, me, I just threw a lot at you. Yeah,
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but you know, if you sit and you take the time, you
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can actually see how that starts into your own life. Though right of course
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we all do it. We all get triggered, all get into our adaptive
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child. Have I know a lot of people that basically live in their adaptive
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child. They spend very little time in their wise adult part of their brain.
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They just don't know it. Yeah, they I can think of a
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few few friends, and as somewhat another, I have a few old friends,
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and as one said said to me, it's like, well, I
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find it very difficult to connect with the one because he never grew out of
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the out of that right. I have a friend like that too that I
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get triggered by all the time. And I've recognized that that person their thinking
32:37
is so off from my thinking that I can't seem to be able to stay
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even killed with them and moving back and spending less and less time with them.
32:52
Because when you're with somebody that's triggering you all the time, yes,
32:57
you can work on yourself. But it's also a sign. Just like I
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said before about the internal flame, what are the things that raise it and
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what are the things that lower it? If spending too much time with somebody
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lowers your internal flame, note to self, stop spending time with them.
33:14
Yeah, yeah, I can tell you tell you that particular person that even
33:19
myself, I is not like I call them every week or anything like that.
33:24
Every now and again. It's like touch base, you know, Hey,
33:29
how things going, you know, and you get to hear the same
33:32
old sam old and they're like, okay, that's enough for We've done that.
33:38
Now I talk about that. I'm happy to have that. I have
33:40
a lot of friends that I invite onto my couch, and now I have
33:45
some friends that I only want on my front porch. Right, don't let
33:50
them into my inner circle, and that are all around. I don't get
33:53
activated because I don't actually think about them. It's one of my closest friends.
33:59
So when they don't act in a way that I think my close friends
34:02
I would like them to act, I don't get as triggered because I've already
34:07
written them off that they're not one of my close friends anymore. And so
34:09
I'm okay with the occasional conversations and I don't try to get them to change
34:19
so that I can be happier with them as a close friend. I just
34:23
let them be them and I will be you know. You do you and
34:27
I'll do me. But we're not going to be that close friends anymore.
34:30
Right, do we feel guilty if that becomes a family member? Also,
34:37
Well, you don't have to feel guilty if you've tried to help the communication
34:44
and you've done whatever you think you can do to better the relationship, and
34:50
then I again, I would back off. I wouldn't back out, you
34:57
know. I mean, yeah, there's a difference, right, there's a
35:02
difference. And I talk about those as being emotional in completions, there are
35:07
things that lead they weigh heavy on you. And so I would rather somebody's
35:13
on my front porch than not in the neighborhood because if they're not in the
35:17
neighborhood, it becomes an incompletion and then it weighs on me. But if
35:22
they're just at my front porch, I can be okay with that. Hey,
35:27
the front porch can be a comfortable place, right Yeah. So yeah,
35:36
yeah, that also leads back into us doing what we need to do
35:44
for ourselves, that self care, keeping them on the porch instead of on
35:49
the couch. It's a boundary. Yeah, yeah, it's a self care
35:53
boundary. Yeah, when you're on my couch, I'm always in stress and
36:01
sorry that I let you onto my couch. And I'm just not going to
36:05
put myself in that position anymore. Yeah, So who who? Who?
36:10
Should we let her on the couch? We'll be going back to our flame,
36:15
anybody who who feeds our flame, anybody who we we want in our
36:22
lives in a close relationship, friends, family, acquaintances. I mean,
36:29
we're not really saying they're on my couch, but we're saying that they are.
36:34
They're in my life, and I'm happy to have them on my life
36:36
in whatever capacity that they are. Some friends talk to every day, sometimes
36:40
you talk to twice a year, which just reminded me that one of my
36:45
closest friends. Today is her birthday, and I did text her and call
36:50
her, but I haven't caught her. But we probably talked eight times a
36:54
year, and yet she's still a very close friend of mine. And I
36:59
have other friends that I talk to every day or at least two or three
37:02
times a week. That's that doesn't make who's who's a close person in your
37:07
life and who's not. Yeah, I agree with that. There's there's some
37:15
people that I see or talk to them every day and they're not quite in
37:21
that inner circle that they're just outside of it, and but I still interact
37:27
with them every day. And then others that it's the occasion because of distance
37:32
or something like that or whatever, or circumstance or whatever, it is.
37:37
Yeah, but I can say this that for those who because of a circumstance
37:45
or distance, when I do actually connect to them, I get that warm,
37:47
fuzzy feeling all over. Yeah. Right, you cannot see somebody for
37:52
five years and you're right back exactly the way you were when you do see
37:57
them. Yeah. I have friends like that all the time. Yeah,
38:02
So we have to be careful about when it comes to our self cared to
38:09
boundaries so that we actually it actually helps us develop better relationships. Right.
38:16
Yes, if you have leaky boundaries, then people are going to walk all
38:20
over you, or they're going to take too much from you because you're giving
38:22
too much again back, So you can't be mad for not getting what you
38:28
didn't ask for, or if you you know, when I was when my
38:34
grandchildren were young or my kids were first parents, I think I over gave
38:39
and I overdid with them and for them, and I was getting depleted.
38:44
And so I still make myself available whenever I can, but when I go
38:52
there, I don't want to just be there for two weeks and be the
38:53
only babysitter. You know. I finally had to say, don't get rid
38:58
of all your help just because I'm coming because I can't do twenty four to
39:01
seven. I want to go hiking with you, and I want to do
39:05
my clients, and I still have other things I have to do. So
39:07
yes, I want to spend as much time with my if with the kids
39:10
as I can, but I also I want to spend some time with my
39:15
grown children, Like I don't want to just be the babysitter, even though
39:17
I do come and do a lot of that. And once I said it,
39:24
it made everything better because I didn't have to be passive aggressive, I
39:29
didn't have to come for less time, I didn't get depleted. I still
39:32
got to take care of myself and spend time with my children and my grandchildren,
39:37
and it works out so much better. Yeah, when you talk about
39:40
your children and your grandchildren, you can actually see that inner glow come up
39:45
for you them all. Yeah. Yeah, so, but I see your
39:53
point that it's like, Okay, I got to have that healthy boundary part
39:59
so that I can keep my own energy up and my own fuel lines to
40:05
my inner flame right exactly exactly, And nobody can tell you what that is
40:10
but you. So that's self worth and self care and self exploration and being
40:19
curious about what you need and what you don't need, and what works and
40:22
what doesn't work. You have to do all your own inner work mm hmm
40:29
to be do it for you and capable. Nobody else can do it for
40:34
you, right, Yeah, It's called the inner work for a reason,
40:40
right. Yeah. So back to to to uh to Glimmers is like they
40:52
sound it and and that was one of the things I remember that. It
40:55
was like, oh wow, this is a really healthy way to make sure
41:00
we keep the things that we need in our lives to keep keep like you
41:04
said, the interflame up and as going back to law of attraction that when
41:12
we pay attention to those things, they keep that internal flame up and strong
41:17
that we get more of them, right exactly, So yeah, yeah,
41:25
yeah, it's exactly it, right, And when we work on ourselves,
41:32
we improve our mindset. Right. So anyway, it's been fun and I
41:44
what I like. One of the things I like about you is I can
41:47
see you see you also being that guide to our uh climbing, our kill
41:53
them and jarrow of life. Yeah, I had to do to kill him
41:58
and Jarrow in there because I know you've you've done that. That was going
42:02
to be the name of my book before it was Big or Better Braver,
42:05
it was going to be what's your kilim in Jarrow? But then I realized
42:07
that nobody unless you were playing on climbing killiman Jaro would read the book.
42:13
And it really wasn't about It's like, how do you find what's what your
42:19
next thing is? You know, how do you do that next big thing
42:22
that you're stuck and on the fence and you always say you want to do
42:25
it, but now I don't have enough money, or I'm too old,
42:28
or it's not for me, or it's for other people, or I'm not
42:30
brave enough any of that stuff. It's a it will help you do that.
42:37
So yeah, and it all comes down to, well, what is
42:39
your killim Jarrow? What's that thing out there that you're that seems like a
42:45
big mountain that you're afraid to climb? Because I can help you climb it.
42:51
Yeah, and it's as it goes, you're climbing the mountain is your
43:00
journey, Yeah, in the journey. The part is experiencing the journey.
43:07
Yeah, the juice is in the journey. You say it all the time.
43:10
So what are some of the more favorite parts of your journey of climbing
43:21
killing in Jaro oh Najara is one of them. I'm sure I would say,
43:27
Okay, I would tell you that the best part of stepping outside your
43:32
comfort zone and trying something new that you want to do is how good you
43:37
feel about yourself for being brave enough to try. That's that's where the juices.
43:45
Yeah, it's not the outcome, Yeah, it's right there in that
43:51
moment of stepping in and saying yes and falling falling through, whether you fall
43:57
in your face or not, the way you feel about yourself for doing it
44:00
is worth everything. People who are afraid of success or afraid of failure so
44:07
they never try, as far as I'm concerned, they've already failed. So
44:13
I don't understand how that keeps you from the fear of failure or the fear
44:17
of success. You haven't even tried. That's already fit fit failure as far
44:22
as I'm concerned. You know, we both agree on that on that point.
44:28
And you know what that's that's a great sum up. Awesome. So
44:34
everybody go look for Nancy Pickers book card, Bigger, Better, Braver,
44:42
Conquer your fears, grace your courage, and transform your life. Or look
44:45
for me on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, or Nancy bocardlife coach dot com
44:52
if you want to have a free consultation to see if coaching with me is
44:55
something that you would like or you as a couple would like her either and
45:01
the potbo yeah, learn to live better. So all right, thank you
45:07
everybody for listening today, and find that subscribe button wherever it may be.
45:14
Thanks Nanti, thank you. Let me know when it's up and I'll post
45:21
it to I'll post to so I don't know your phone action. So this
46:01
is days a reason save me out Chow shows we can't trust sir, wait
46:28
so wace. The show has been produced by Depictions Media. Please contact us
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