Latest / Finding New Waters / Navigating the Waters of High-Functioning Addiction with Trey Laird

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Navigating the Waters of High-Functioning Addiction with Trey Laird · Finding New Waters

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I needed to see successful guys in meetings.
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I needed to know that like, you know, you know, going into into
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into a A was not me, did not mean that I was going to give up
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my career. And you know, I'm never going to
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have fun anymore. And so guys who come to the
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Lighthouse and look around as they get to know each other and
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realize that, you know, there's a lot of pretty successful men
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and women coming through treatment here that have had
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this, you know, alcohol use disorder.
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By the way. They've also been running
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Fortune 500 companies in the meantime.
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So. Right.
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You know, it's it's healthy for them to see that.
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You know, recovery doesn't necessarily mean that, you know,
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I'm, I'm lowering my goals or my expectations or you know, or or
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changing sort of where I want to get to put me at both Visa V, my
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family, my my my, my, my profession and my passions,
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right. Good morning.
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My name is Graham Durge and I'm the Founder and CEO of New
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Waters Recovery in Raleigh, NC. Welcome to our weekly podcast,
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Finding New Waters. Our goal in creating Finding New
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Waters is to provide a resource for families to help navigate
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the complexities of supporting a loved 1, struggling with
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substance use or mental health. When we find ourselves in crisis
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due to one of these issues, most people have no idea where to
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turn. We hope to shed some light under
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what is often the darkest family, darkest hour for many
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families. I'm joined today by our
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Executive Director Justin McClendon and Trey Laird, who's
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the founder of Lighthouse Recovery in New Canaan, CT Trey
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Laird is CEO and Founder of the Lighthouse Sober Living and
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Lighthouse Recovery Coaching 365 program.
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Before founding Lighthouse, Mr. Laird was a Wall Street exec
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Equities trader for 22 years, starting his career with Bankers
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Trust and exiting with Lazard. Mr. Laird attended the Trinity
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School in Manhattan and Dartmouth College.
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Mr. Laird has five children and lives in New Canaan, CT with his
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wife. He's an avid golfer, marathoner,
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regularly travels to share his expertise on recovery and
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treatment, best practices and makes regular media appearances
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to speak on addiction issues. Mr. Laird feels that his choice
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to recover out loud has had an extraordinary impact on his life
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in recovery. Trey, thank you for joining us
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today. Always a pleasure to to get to
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connect with you and hear a little bit about what you're
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doing. Thank you for being here.
2:38
Graham, Thanks for having me, man.
2:40
Good to good to catch up. Yeah, absolutely.
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So I always like this kind of start off with a little bit
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obviously introductory information about you now.
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Can you tell us just a little bit about, you know, your story,
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how you got into this field? I I just find it always really
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interesting to see how people got into this work, because it's
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not very common, right? Yeah, it it was definitely not
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on my radar or road map when I was growing up.
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I was in the middle of what ended up being a 22 year career
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on Wall Street. 15 years in, I developed a substance use
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disorder, and I ended up going to treatment in 2008.
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And while I was in treatment, my wife invited me not to move home
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afterwards. There had been a lot of damage
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done in marriage, and she needed more time.
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And we had two kids at home. And so I went to my counselor at
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Silver Hill, where I was in treatment, and I said, you know,
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I need to figure out where I'm going to live next.
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And she suggested that I go to a sober house.
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I'd never heard of a sober house.
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I didn't know what she was talking about, but she described
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it as a, you know, kind of a next step after treatment where
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guys live together but they went back to work and live their
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lives, but they had the community and accountability of
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of the other guys in the house. And I said that sounds like a
4:00
pretty good idea. Give me the phone number, I'll
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go. And she said, well, Trey, you
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should probably go to Florida or California.
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And I was in New Canaan, CT and I said why would I go to Florida
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or California? And she said, well, frankly
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because there's nothing around here for you and it didn't make
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sense to me to go to Florida or California.
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So I didn't. I rented a house right into
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Canaan. I went back to work.
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You know, I went to a lot of 12 step meetings and navigated
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early recovery with the help of those guys that I met there.
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And so, you know, 6-7 years later, there still was no
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significant, no no good options for, you know, continuing care
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and sober living in the Northeast.
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And so that's when we got together and decided to to open
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the lighthouse in in Darien originally and now in New
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Canaan. So I even then I thought it
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would be like a side project for me.
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I was not going to give up my Wall Street career but it
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quickly became obvious that there was a lot to do and this
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was not a a side project And so and so I left and that was we're
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coming up on eight years in January that we've been much
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great. Yeah.
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So you never know where you're going and and here we are.
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Yeah, 100%, yeah. And obviously it's it's, it's
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such an important piece to the process, to the continuum of
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care, you know that kind of step down component transitioning
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back into life after treatment or or whatever you've kind of
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done prior to that. And in my mind, I I feel like
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it's probably the most pivotal decision that you make in that
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process, right. You know because that's where
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the rubber hits, hits the road, that's where things get tough,
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that's where life starts happening and and do you have
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those tools, are you going to implement those tools.
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So you know it's definitely such a needed resource, certainly up
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in your area, so happy that you did that, but specifically too
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like you guys cater to kind of a a a niche demographic and and
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kind of an executive demographic, is that correct?
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Yeah, yeah, Graham. So I mean the lighthouse I, I,
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I, you know, I I started it because it was the program that
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didn't exist when I needed it. I was 38 years old again, you
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know midway through a you know a Wall Street career and with a
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wife and kids and everything that comes with that.
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So our clientele, the average age is going to be you know mid
6:23
40s up to 50. You know the average client is,
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is is working, employed usually in a very high senior level
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position. You know most of our clients are
6:34
are married and trying to stay married.
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They're they have kids they have families they have a lot going
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on. They have a lot to lose and and
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they're they're you know they're invested in in what they're
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doing in their lives and frankly a lot of the parts of their
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lives are working and and substances have worked in their
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life and and specifically in their professional career for a
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long time. So what they get it with us to
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your point is like you know after treatment going back into
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your life with these new tools that you've obtained in
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treatment and utilizing them is is difficult and you got to you
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know you have to practice and you got to you got to get reps
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and you have to you know learn what it's like to go to that
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board meeting and sit there and not be drinking.
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And so that's what our clients get to do on a regular basis.
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I mean we'll have a client come to us and you know say I know
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Trey, I have to go to work in the city on Monday and we say
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great, we're how can we support you doing that.
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Whereas a lot of the, a lot of other you know extended care
7:35
program, sober livings that I'm familiar with, they they say hey
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you know for the first month you're not going to really do
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anything and then we'll talk about it in the second month and
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you know that's not us. We want to support client.
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We want to be able to support clients and wherever they're at.
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And a lot of times our clients are, you know, going back into
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life pretty, pretty quickly. And I think that's my design,
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so. So yeah, yeah.
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No, 100% and I think you know we, you know we had a client
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here a couple months ago that was you know definitely in that
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that fit that category and it's just you know with gentlemen
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like that it's just they can't take two, 3-4 months off.
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You know, that's just not the that's not a realistic thing.
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So, yeah, having that, that kind of piece that you have there to
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kind of meet them where they're at, I think is is such an
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important part of the puzzle. Trey, can you tell us a little
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bit about, you know, it sounds like like you're saying you're
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you're supporting them, trying to help them learn how to
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navigate, you know, career and life and things like that in the
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early stages of recovery. Can you tell us a little bit
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more about kind of what the programming, what the structure
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of Lighthouse kind of looks like?
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Our program is called Recovery 365 and so everybody that's
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living in the homes is in that program.
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But important to note that we also offer that program to
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clients that aren't living in the home as well and it's a
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coaching programs. Every client has their own
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recovery coach. We have a team of about 10
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coaches. We pair each client up with the
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best coach. When they arrive, they meet with
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that coach twice a week. They they decide, the client
9:08
decides sort of where and when those meetings are going to
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happen again because they have busy lives.
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So they might want to meet early in the morning before work.
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They might want to, you know go for a walk or hike on a weekend.
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They might want to hit golf balls, you know, it's sort of we
9:22
want to make it less therapy and more interactive with the client
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and and fit into their life. So two meetings a week and then
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the coach proactively checks in with the client every day.
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I think that's an important piece and our clients agree
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because you know a lot of them go to 12 step, a lot of them
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have sponsors. But the sponsors say, well you
9:43
can call me, but a lot of new people in new, in early recovery
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and you know going to meetings don't feel like calling their
9:50
sponsor until they get, you know, they don't get into that
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rhythm and the sponsor won't reach out to them.
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So we have our coaches reach out to the clients every day and
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then in addition to that, so we got groups every day at our
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men's and our women's house. So those groups are usually late
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afternoon or early evening even at dinner to accommodate again
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the people that are working all day.
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And then we do alcohol monitoring and drug testing in
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the homes. We we, we do have an abstinence
10:19
policy. Having said that, if you're in
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our Recovery 365 program and not living in the lighthouse, you're
10:26
not required to be abstinent. And we do have clients here and
10:29
there that say that they would like to, you know, moderate,
10:33
they would like to curtail, they would like to, they're not
10:36
interested in and 100% abstinence at the time.
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And our coaches meet them where they're at, too.
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Are you, are you seeing a lot of people 'cause obviously, you
10:45
know, this like sober curious movement has really taken shape,
10:50
right? So are you seeing folks in that
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category that are utilizing Recovery 360?
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Yes, I would say it's definitely not the majority.
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It's more kind of like you know, ten, 1015%.
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And so far what we've seen is that after a period of
11:08
exploration, the client has generally come around to the
11:13
idea that their life is better without any alcohol and that,
11:18
you know, having that glass of wine on Saturday night with
11:21
their wife as their only drink of the week, you know, isn't
11:26
isn't not that it's not attainable, but what Why would I
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want to have a glass of wine with my wife and and do I really
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just want to have 7 glasses of wine?
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So yeah, we've had some clients that that start down that road,
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but we've also had clients that start down that road and then
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say, hey, you know what, why do I need one?
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So I think more, more what we've seen is that you know say
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somebody comes in with an opiate use disorder and they say well
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you know I'm still, I still want to reserve the right to you know
12:00
smoke THTHC or or or drink And and we've seen that happen a
12:06
couple of times where you know again they say they're, they say
12:11
it's successful we need, we need a larger length of study to
12:14
understand if it really is successful, right.
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Yeah, 100%. And and you guys are also doing
12:21
interventions and you know, doing some work on the front end
12:25
as well. You've got some folks on your
12:26
team. Are you seeing and one of the
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kind of, you know, I'd love to hear your opinion on this,
12:30
right? Because I think with
12:32
interventions in particular, you know, people have this kind of
12:35
preconceived notion that you've got to hit bottom, right.
12:39
And, you know, what's your opinion on that?
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You know, for families who are, you know, potentially wanting to
12:44
intervene, We're now coming up on the holidays, which is always
12:47
a a tough time of year, families getting together.
12:50
You see your loved one for the first time.
12:51
Maybe they're not doing as well as you thought they were or
12:54
there's some sort of an incident.
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So yeah, what do we say to those families who are, you know,
12:59
thinking in that direction but just not quite sure if if the
13:02
timing's right? Yeah.
13:05
So I would say we do inter interventions.
13:09
We, we like to call them structured family conversations
13:12
as opposed to interventions. It's not a it's not a main part
13:17
of our business. But we also we also want to
13:20
support the family when they call.
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I would say that you know for us we started a whole new line of
13:28
business just in the last six months of family recovery
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coaching. And what that looks like is
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family member calls and says, you know, my husband needs help
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or my son needs help or my my wife needs help.
13:40
And if that person, you know, the identified patient is not
13:45
interested in getting help, but we can work with the family and
13:48
coach them, which may ultimately turn into an intervention or a
13:54
family, a structured conversation with that loved
13:58
one. But it might not either.
14:00
And so we've had clients that have successfully, you know,
14:04
come into our family coaching program and gotten some relief
14:08
for themselves and even if their loved one is still drinking,
14:14
we've also had situations where that, you know, going down that
14:17
path with the family has led to the family themselves speaking
14:22
with their loved one and and and affecting change.
14:26
And so I think we all agree that you don't have to hit a bottom.
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I think that the reason that families and people in general
14:35
are so hesitant to reach out for help is because their view of
14:40
what is out there, what's provided for help, is not
14:43
appealing, right. I don't want to go away for 30
14:45
days. I don't want to give up my
14:47
phone. I don't want to leave my house
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ID. And so, you know, the question
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then becomes, well, how do we give them what they want,
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literally meet them where they're at.
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And so we also have times when you know what we'll do a
15:02
conversation with a with a family and instead of like
15:06
having the car outside bags packed on the way to rehab, they
15:10
may be going for you know a psychiatric evaluation.
15:14
And then we're going to make a decision after that or go to a
15:17
place like like like yours where you know, you can get five to
15:20
seven days of just some you know, rest and care.
15:24
And it's, it's a good time frame to be able to figure out next
15:28
steps and next steps. You may not be a 30 or 60 day
15:31
treatment center. It might be back at home with a
15:33
strong clinical team in your house, right.
15:35
Yeah. So it's all about giving them
15:38
giving people options and ideas as opposed to cookie cuttering
15:42
it and saying this is what you have to do, Period.
15:45
End of story, right? Yeah, yeah.
15:47
And I think that's been that's been kind of this cycle for so
15:51
long, right. This cookie cutter treatment,
15:53
you know, fits, fits everybody, right.
15:55
And and that's just not the case.
15:57
Every client that comes in has different complexities, has you
16:01
know, different acuity and and is you know, we need to kind of
16:04
meet them differently, you know, with every client, right.
16:07
So, yeah, I think that we're starting to see that that
16:11
traditional kind of retreatment model is just not really working
16:16
anymore, so. And I would say, I think that's
16:21
true, right. And I think that there's certain
16:23
people that still do need that, right.
16:24
You really do need that you know 3045 sixty day kind of primary
16:28
treatment to kind of jump start things and and.
16:32
But it's true and I think it's refreshing that we are seeing a
16:34
big change in the in the field that that's not always the case
16:38
with everybody and that we really do need to take the time
16:40
to understand what that person's specific needs are and what the
16:45
family system needs and to really try and get creative and
16:48
come up with something that's going to be most helpful for
16:50
everybody, right. Yeah.
16:52
Yeah, yeah. So now tell me a little bit
16:57
about like the some of the recovery stuff that you guys
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know, you guys are all 12 step based, correct.
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You're you're, you know obviously a huge advocate of 12
17:04
step recovery and and you know go to meetings in your own life.
17:08
I know. So how does some of that
17:09
programming look with your guys and kind of getting them
17:11
integrated with that? Yeah, no, let me.
17:14
So let me slight correction. I'm not sure I would say that
17:18
we're 12 step based. I would say that I'm a 12 step
17:22
guy and you know I got, I got sober and treatment and then AA
17:28
and still you know go to meetings, have a sponsor, have
17:31
sponsees actively involved in in 12 step.
17:34
Having said that, we don't have any requirements for our clients
17:40
to go to meetings. We believe in attraction not
17:43
promotion. I would say that our, our staff
17:47
is primarily drawn from the 12 step community.
17:51
And so you know if you're living at one of our houses or working
17:55
with one of our coaches, you're likely going to hear about their
17:58
12 step experience. But again we're not forcing
18:03
anybody to go to meetings. And what I what I tell people
18:06
that call and ask questions about the lighthouse is and they
18:09
say do I have to go to meetings, I say no, you don't have to go
18:11
to meetings. Having said that, if you don't
18:13
go to meetings, you'll be in in a minority and you'll likely
18:18
have somebody, one of the other clients ask you why you aren't
18:22
going to meetings because and again not not to be, you know
18:27
mean about it, but just to understand like why somebody
18:30
wouldn't. So we're very blessed and
18:32
fortunate here in Fairfield County.
18:34
New Cane in Westport Greenwich has a really strong 12 step
18:37
community. You know there's over 100
18:40
meetings a week, breakfast, you know, morning, lunch, evening.
18:43
And so there's literally thousands of people doing the
18:47
deal here in Fairfield County which is unlike some other you
18:52
know, geographies in the country as I understand it.
18:54
You know if you live in Rochester, NY and we've had a
18:56
client from there, he'll say Trey, I have one meet, one group
18:59
that meets three times a week near me.
19:01
And so you know if I and there's six guys that go and so that's
19:05
not a robust recovery community and so he doesn't use 12 step
19:09
recovery at at his home. He comes back and visits with us
19:12
regularly and and loves it here. But we we are open to any
19:18
pathway we've seen guys and women get you know you know
19:21
their recovery path would include you know robust new
19:25
exercise regime plus church community plus you know an
19:31
outdoor adventure pathway. You know, we, we encourage them
19:36
to check out meetings, but we're not, we're certainly not going
19:40
to mandate them there. And and again a, A is not
19:44
created equal everywhere. I feel like there's geographies
19:48
where it's strong and geographies where it's weak.
19:50
And so we're blessed to have a a really strong community around
19:54
us, but doesn't exist everywhere.
19:56
Yeah that's awesome. I mean I think that that's
19:59
that's obviously like with that clientele that's where you've
20:02
got to be, right. You've got to kind of meet them
20:04
where they're at. But but it's, it goes back to
20:06
kind of the the foundations of a, A and and 12 step programming
20:10
is as you said attraction rather than promotion, right.
20:14
And that's just such AI think that's such a pivotal part to
20:17
the success of a A. So implementing that into your
20:20
program and really kind of. You know, using those strategies
20:26
is is going to be a really, really smart thing for your.
20:29
Obviously has worked really well for you, yeah.
20:31
I would say, Graham, you know like if there's one thing about,
20:35
you know our core beliefs at the Lighthouse is that we believe
20:39
that a connection to a a recovery community is the is the
20:45
essential part, one of the essential, if not the essential
20:47
part of someone's recovery. And so we believe in the idea
20:51
that, you know, a client can connect with other, you know,
20:55
other lighthouse clients, other lighthouse alum, other
20:58
lighthouse staff and start to see what recovery can look like
21:02
for that for them because they're looking at what it's
21:05
what, what, how it's, you know, how it's worked for people that
21:07
have gone before them. They're all smart enough to make
21:10
their own decisions about do I want what Graham has, do I want
21:13
what Justin has? Do I want Tray has and or maybe
21:17
a little piece of what Graham does or a little piece of what
21:19
Justin does. And so we believe in throwing a
21:22
lot of different examples of recovery in front of our clients
21:27
while they're in residence or with us and they can choose for
21:30
themselves what works for them and it's worked really well,
21:33
right. Like we have guys that go on ski
21:35
trips. We have guys that go to you know
21:37
and women that go to church together where they have they
21:40
form yoga groups. They do you know alumni zoom
21:43
calls and and you know they like to be with each other.
21:47
I mean for me for me like what it what I loved to do was you
21:51
know things like playing golf and and skiing and surfing and
21:55
and and so how was I going to do those things without a drink or
22:00
a drug in my hand. And well, the answer for me was
22:04
that I found other guys that like to do those things without
22:07
drinking. And so, you know, my, my first
22:10
time back at Yankee Stadium, you know, which had become, you
22:13
know, I was always a huge Yankee fan and went to a lot of games
22:15
as a kid and growing up. And then at some point Yankee
22:19
Stadium just became a big bar for me and I couldn't get out of
22:21
there not being blocked out. And so I was concerned about how
22:26
I was gonna go back to Yankee Stadium or even if I could go
22:29
back to Yankee Stadium and not. Right.
22:32
And the first few times I went, I went with three other guys,
22:34
you know, who I met in recovery, who didn't drink.
22:37
And that gave me sober reference that showed me how to do that
22:41
kind of thing. And and that's what we do with
22:43
our clients, right? Like, you know, you want to go,
22:45
You want to go play golf. It's your club.
22:47
Great. I understand that might be
22:48
nervous for you because you always drink with those guys.
22:50
How about you play with some of the other guys that don't drink
22:53
and and and build up your sober reference over time and doing
22:57
those things you love to do. Because, by the way, if you
23:00
don't find things that you love to do without a drink in your
23:04
hand, you're not likely to continue to have not have a
23:07
drink in your hand. You're gonna keep, you're gonna
23:08
start drinking again. So.
23:11
Yeah, I mean, that's always been like the most pertinent thing to
23:15
me was finding fun stuff to do right.
23:18
And and I was super fortunate and I've said this before on the
23:21
podcast that I I kind of made that connection and treatment
23:25
that I can sit here and say my life is over or I can just start
23:27
doing awesome stuff, you know, and start doing things that I've
23:30
always wanted to do but just haven't because I've been
23:33
drinking myself to death in a basement in Boston.
23:35
Right. So yeah, I mean that's that
23:38
rings so true to me. I think that's such an important
23:41
piece to this. This puzzle is just making that
23:44
connection for these folks, showing them how incredible life
23:47
can be sober and in the community aspect, right.
23:50
I mean we all need and crave that community and when we're in
23:55
our disease you know, we're isolated, right.
23:58
And and you know, I know at the end for me the last six months
24:01
were you know as I said just solo in a basement with no heat.
24:05
So it wasn't glorious at all and and now coming into recovery and
24:09
having this community and this fellowship and you know, the
24:13
support and camaraderie and I mean it was, it was definitely
24:17
alien for a while. But it was it was exactly what I
24:21
needed, right? Those guys kind of holding me up
24:23
when I on those days that I was down and keeping me accountable.
24:26
And so yeah. I think that's and I go ahead,
24:30
go ahead, Trey, no. No, no.
24:32
To elaborate on on that point is I needed to see early on I
24:37
needed to see successful guys in meetings.
24:39
I needed to know that like you know you know going into into
24:43
into a a was not me, did not mean that I was going to give up
24:46
my career and you know I'm never going to have fun anymore.
24:49
And so guys who come to the Lighthouse and look around as
24:53
they get to know each other and realize that, you know, there's
24:55
a lot of pretty successful men and women coming through
24:58
treatment here that have had this, you know, alcohol use
25:00
disorder and and and by the way, they've also been running
25:04
Fortune 500 companies in the meantime.
25:06
So you know it's it's healthy for them to see that.
25:12
You know, recovery doesn't necessarily mean that, you know,
25:17
I'm, I'm lowering my goals or my expectations or you know, or or
25:21
changing sort of where I want to get to put me at both vis A vis
25:25
my family my my my my profession and and my passions.
25:28
Right. So yeah.
25:31
Yeah. And I completely what's coming
25:33
up for me as we're talking about this is, you know, not to say
25:37
anything negative about primary residential treatment, which we
25:39
talked about a little while ago, but I I agree.
25:41
I think, you know, there's a place for residential treatment.
25:44
It's a good place for people to learn.
25:45
It's almost like, I think about it as like emotional Graduate
25:48
School, right? Like you can go there, get a ton
25:50
of information, further stabilization, things like that.
25:53
But you know, in my opinion, exactly what we're talking
25:56
about. I think the most important part
25:59
of the early phases of recovery is exactly this, right?
26:01
The community learning how to live in sobriety, learning how
26:05
to find your way and have fun. And you know, just like we're
26:08
saying, I mean the the idea or learning the lesson that like
26:11
this doesn't have to be horrible, this doesn't have to
26:13
be deprivation, right? I can find a way to be
26:16
successful and like live a happy and healthy life is the biggest
26:20
part in my opinion. Yeah.
26:21
And these are all high functioning people, right.
26:24
So and they're and look at what they're accomplishing while
26:28
they're using imagine what you can accomplish if you're sober.
26:31
Yeah. I mean, gosh, you could light
26:33
the world on fire. So yeah, it's pretty amazing
26:35
seeing that light turn on, right.
26:38
And and you know, see those people make that connection and
26:41
start to have some success and and then, you know, just light
26:44
the world on fire. I mean there's nothing better
26:46
than that. And that's why we do this work,
26:47
right? Yes, absolutely.
26:52
You know, the other thing I, I would, I just wanted to mention
26:55
is this idea too of practicing your recovery.
26:58
And so people always ask me, well, Trey, what happens if a
27:01
client, you know, has a drink, you know, while they're living
27:05
with you? And I say, well, if someone has,
27:09
it's really good information and really good data for all of us
27:12
to have, right? So if you went to work and then,
27:15
you know, you got invited to a happy hour, 'cause you haven't
27:18
told your Co workers yet that you're not drinking and you went
27:22
to that happy hour to appease, you know, your boss or a
27:25
colleague and you got there and the next thing you know, someone
27:29
ordered you a drink and you drank it, then you know, that's
27:33
good information for us all to have.
27:35
It's not the end of the world. You don't need to go back to
27:38
another 90 days of treatment. You know, we can work with that.
27:42
I understand, you know, that the family's likely concerned and
27:45
other stakeholders may be very worried about it, but it
27:48
happens, right? Like normal recovery, you know,
27:51
typical recovery is not maybe not linear, right.
27:54
There might be you know periods of of of reuse again and so you
28:00
know the importance of family work and the importance of a
28:04
coach who and and the importance of not being punitive like we
28:07
would never punish a client for for taking a drink or having a
28:10
recurrence like that's that happens.
28:12
You know what what's not OK is to put our head in the sand and
28:15
pretend it didn't happen and we all what also is not OK is to
28:19
punish somebody for that recurrence.
28:21
And so, you know, I think we're sort of moving in this direction
28:25
where where people who are working in the field understand
28:29
that like you know, you got to walk with your client and you
28:31
got to the UPS and the downs. And I think that that's what we
28:35
do really well. And by the way, it's also why I
28:37
got a lot of people that don't want to go to treatment or don't
28:40
want to start the journey because they, they think that
28:42
like you know, that if they have one drink or one recurrence,
28:46
like you know, the world's going to end or they're going to, you
28:51
know, be punished for that, right.
28:53
And so we have no, our coaches and our team are really good at
28:58
being like, listen, this happens.
29:00
Now what are we going to do, right?
29:01
What are we going to learn from this?
29:02
What are our, what are our takeaways and how are we going
29:05
to monitor or sort of you know, adjust what what you're doing or
29:09
not doing to to get the better, to get a better goal?
29:12
Yeah, Yeah. And I think in many ways it can
29:15
be an asset to you, right, moving forward.
29:17
I mean I had a relapse about five years in, you know, when I
29:22
originally from when I originally got sober and you
29:25
know my sponsor at that point said, listen, this is part of
29:27
your story now and you can now help another man who's
29:30
struggling with the same thing, right.
29:32
And you have that experience now to kind of go through this and
29:35
and it doesn't have to be punitive what like you said,
29:37
it's it's like all right, let's dust ourselves off and keep
29:40
moving forward and we know what to do and we had a little slip
29:42
there and let's, let's keep on moving forward, right.
29:44
So I love that that kind of notion and you know, I think
29:50
that's a great way to to end it today too.
29:52
So much good information, Trey, and really appreciate you coming
29:55
on here. Now where can everybody find
29:58
you? What's can you can you give us
29:59
your website and and maybe social media?
30:02
Yeah, the Lighthouse. The Lighthouse ct.com is our
30:06
website we're on. We're on Instagram and LinkedIn
30:11
at the Lighthouse. We're in New Canaan CT, so
30:15
fortunately we don't have a ton of competitors up this way.
30:18
So if you just Google the Lighthouse Connecticut you
30:21
probably find us quickly and there's phone numbers on there.
30:25
Anybody who wants to give me a shout, happy to talk further and
30:31
yeah, thanks for having me on guys.
30:32
It's been great. I I need to get down to Raleigh
30:34
and and see your guys place and keep doing the good.
30:37
Running time, man. Love to have you down and and
30:40
we're going to do something this spring, so we'll we'll let you
30:42
know and we'll get you down here.
30:44
Awesome. Awesome.
30:45
All right, guys. Well, thanks.
30:47
Fantastic having you on and we will see you guys next week.