Latest / The Happiness in Retirement® Hour / Why your Financial Plan Needs a Villain
Transcript
- SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Happiness in Retirement podcast, where we help you turn your retirement dreams into reality. Each week, we'll dive into smart financial strategies, lifestyle tips, and expert insights to help you build a fulfilling and secure retirement. Whether you're planning ahead or already enjoying retirement, this is your go-to place for inspiration and practical advice. So sit back, relax, and let's make your golden years the best years. The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice, and it should not be relied on as such. It should not be considered a solicitation to buy or an offer to sell a security. It does not take into account any investor's particular investment objectives, strategies, tax status, or investment horizon. You should consult your financial professional, attorney, or tax advisor. SPEAKER_00: I'm Bill Del Sette. Thank you so much for joining us today. Well, today I want to tell you a story. Actually, I want to remind you that you're already living one. Whether you realize it or not, you are the hero of your own story. You see, like every great story, yours has moments of triumph and disappointment, confidence and fear, victories and setbacks. Now, consider how boring life would be without those things. If we didn't have setbacks, if we didn't have hardships, if we didn't have a villain in our life. In fact, in the book, The Black Book of Power by Stan Taylor, he posits that a villain is necessary in life, maybe multiple villains at different times in life. And if you've ever watched a great movie or read a great book, you know one thing to be true, there is no hero without a villain. Luke Skywalker had Darth Vader, Frodo had Sauron, Harry Potter had Voldemort, Rocky had Apollo Creed, and later, Ivan Drago. The villain isn't there simply to create conflict, the villain exists to transform the hero. Without the villain, there is no courage. Without resistance, there is no growth. And without hardship, there is no transformation. Now, after thinking about this for a while, it occurred to me that the same is true in financial planning. One of the biggest reasons people fail to follow through on their financial plan is not because they lack intelligence. It's because they haven't identified the villain they're fighting. So, today I want to explore with you how understanding your own hero's journey can help you finally take the actions you've always known you should take at any age. So, what happens first? Well, first, the hero receives a call to adventure. You see, in every hero's journey, life begins as, shall we say, ordinary, and then something changes. The hero, you, you receive a call. Sometimes it's exciting, sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's terrifying. Financial planning usually begins the same way, maybe with the birth of your first child, or getting married, or how about a divorce, the death of a parent, a frightening medical diagnosis, losing a job, watching the stock market crash, Realizing retirement isn't 40 years away anymore, it's 10. These moments interrupt ordinary life, you see, but that's necessary because they're invitations to become someone new and do the hard things. So what normally happens is most heroes initially refuse the call to adventure. Joseph Campbell observed that heroes almost always hesitate. Philosopher Joseph Campbell came up with the idea of the hero's journey. You see, Moses, for instance, questioned his abilities. Frodo wished someone else would carry the ring. Neo didn't believe he was, quote, the one. And what do most of us do? I'll save next year. I'll update my estate plan later. I know I need life insurance, but, or how about this one? I should increase my 401k. I'll meet with a financial planner after things settle down, right? Does that ever happen? Things ever settle down? We delay. We rationalize, we hope, not because we're lazy. It's because change is uncomfortable. So, you see, every hero has to meet a guide. No hero succeeds alone. Rocky had Mickey, Harry had Dumbledore, and financial planning is no different. Sometimes you mentor when it comes comes to finance, personal finance, maybe it's a parent. Sometimes it's a book. I would guess that many financial planners consider themselves the heroes, but we view ourselves as guides, not heroes for our clients. It's your story. You are the hero on the journey. It's your journey. And we are the guides as financial planners. Sometimes it's someone who quietly models discipline for decades. The guide doesn't fight the battle for the hero. He or she can't. The guide simply helps the hero becoming capable of fighting it. That's what good financial planners and good financial planning does. It doesn't remove uncertainty. It prepares you for it. The guide prepares you for it. So then, of course, what inevitably happens? The villain appears. Now, here's where I think many people misunderstand the hero's journey. The villain isn't necessarily another person, although it could be. Your villain may be a person. For me, it was. But in many cases, the greatest villain Growing up in poverty, yeah, that spurs a lot of people on, huh? Watching your parents argue about money every night, another villain maybe. Living through a painful divorce, experiencing depression. Watching a parent become financially dependent later in life, ugh. Being laid off unexpectedly. Watching someone die without life insurance. Seeing an inheritance destroy family relationships. Watching someone's savings be eaten away by long-term care expenses. Maybe your villain is internal. Procrastination, comparison, shame, instant gratification, complacency. The villain isn't necessarily something that happened to you. It's the force constantly trying to pull you away from becoming the person you are capable of becoming. Now, as I said earlier, a villain matters. This is really fascinating. Heroes don't become courageous until the villain appears. Why would they? Likewise, we rarely make difficult decisions, financial or otherwise, until something gives those decisions meaning. Nobody enjoys buying life insurance. Nobody wakes up excited to increase their retirement savings. Nobody loves laying gratification while friends seem to be spending freely. Those actions require sacrifice, and sacrifice requires purpose and meaning. We've talked a lot in this podcast about purpose and meaning, which often comes from remembering exactly what we're fighting against. Maybe you're fighting the memory of your parents living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe you're fighting the fear of your spouse struggling financially if something happened to you. Maybe you're fighting the possibility of becoming financially dependent on your children. Maybe you're fighting the regret of reaching retirement healthy enough to work, but too unhealthy to travel. Your villain gives meaning to your discipline. For me, the villain was a gentleman in my hometown, small town in upstate New York, and without him I wouldn't be where I am today. Let me explain a little bit about this. When I was probably, I don't know, I'm going to guess eight or nine years old, I lived in a very small town in upstate New York, really tough town, by the way, which is maybe the topic of another podcast, interesting story there. But we lived in an apartment above a store and across the street from the apartment in the store was the village. Uh, gathering place, if you will, it was in the front of the store. It was kind of a five and dime and in the back was a diner and everyone would go to this place in the morning to get their coffee, maybe get a pastry and the paper. And I went in there one cold morning and the owner of the store, everyone knew him about town came from a very important family in the town. Uh, the owner was behind the register and there was a bunch of people in line. and I can't even remember what I was getting at this point, but as I stepped up with my puffy jacket on, it was winter time, he told me that I was stealing from his store, and he came around from the counter, and he made me empty all of my pockets. Now, you know, being a little kid, I was really kind of scared. Of course, he didn't find anything, and again, you have to remember, this is a small town, bunch of people in the store watching this whole thing go down, And when he couldn't find anything, he looked at me, he said, you know, you're a punk and you're never going to amount to anything. I walked out of that store with something extremely valuable and that was a villain or meaning and purpose. You see, I wanted to prove this guy wrong. And that, believe it or not, compelled me to go on through a difficult childhood, to say the least, to make something of myself. You see, without the villain, that never would have happened. Maybe it would have, but that compelled me to do hard things. In his book, David and Goliath, Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Malcolm Gladwell analyzes how adversity can act as a surprising advantage. He argues that Facing significant trauma or hardship early in life, the villain can act as an advantage. Rather than holding people back, these experiences can remove an innate fear of failure and foster a productive drive to succeed. Now in the book, Ladwell uses dyslexia to illustrate how presumed disadvantages can be turned into advantages. he considers the effect childhood hardships have on a person's success. He applies his David and Goliath argument to children struggling with learning disabilities, poverty, lack of parental involvement, and he finds that these children become adults who find success despite their circumstances. Disproportionately, people who are successful, he argues in the book, and this is backed up by statistics, have had traumatic experiences when they're young. You see, another way in which difficulty can be beneficial is forcing us into compensation learning, learning that compensates for weaknesses. Okay, maybe the subject of another podcast, but again, think about this, right? The idea of a villain, something that spurs you on. So there are then trials, of course, inevitably along the journey. Every hero's journey includes trials. Financial planning has plenty, market crashes, unexpected medical expenses, job loss, inflation, recessions, family conflict, business failures. These moments don't mean your plan failed. They are the journey. Many would argue that that is what gives it meaning. Heroes don't become heroes because life became easier. They become heroes because they continued despite the difficulty. One of the greatest mistakes investors make is believing uncertainty is evidence they're doing something wrong. Actually, uncertainty is often evidence you're exactly where the growth happens. So one of the greatest villains is future regret. I've never met someone in retirement who wished they'd worried more, but I've met many who wish they'd lived more intentionally. I wish I'd traveled sooner. I wish I'd retired earlier. I wish I'd spent more time with the kids. I wish I'd taken better care of my health. Money usually isn't what they regret. Time is, health is, relationships, purpose. Money simply gives us options while we still have those things. Then, inevitably, there's a transformation. You see, every hero's journey reaches a moment where the hero changes. In fact, he has to, not because the villain disappeared, because the hero became someone stronger. That's what financial planning really is. You begin by saving because you have to eventually, you save because because you become disciplined, you become spurred on by the villain. You begin investing because someone told you to. Eventually, you invest because you learn patience. You buy life insurance because it's responsible. Eventually, you realize it's one of the greatest expressions of love you'll ever make. The financial plan changes you long before it changes the balance sheet. So the final stage of this hero's journey is returning home with a gift. You see, the hero doesn't simply survive. The hero brings something back that benefits others. That's what I hope retirement becomes for you. Not simply the reward for decades of work, but a season where your wisdom, generosity, time, and presence become gifts to your family, your community, and the people you love. Financial independence is not the treasure. It's what allows you to share the treasure. You see, your life is probably a bunch of hero's journeys. Once you return home, if you don't have another villain, you could lose the passion and meaning and spark in life. And I believe this happens to many retirees if they don't have an inspiring future to live into. They've already climbed the hill. They've already slayed the dragon in their life. They need another one. They need a villain. They need meaning and purpose as well. So as we close today, I'd like you to reflect on a few questions. What was the call to adventure in your life? Was there a moment in time where someone maybe said something to you and it had such an incredible effect on your life? Stephen Covey's book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he talks about how everyone has a moment in their life. when they're young or someone says something and it either stops you from taking action or it spurs you on like it did for me in my story. So what was that for you? What was the call to adventure in your financial life? Who has served as a mentor in your financial journey or in your journey overall? Who's been a guide for you? Who or what is the villain that motivates you to make difficult decisions, financial or otherwise? Remember, without one, life would be really boring and probably without purpose or meaning. What challenge are you facing today that may actually be shaping you into a person you need to become? And finally, what gift do you hope to bring to others because of the financial choices you're making today? In closing, The hero's journey teaches us something profound. The villain isn't the point of the story. Transformation is. Your difficult experiences don't have to define your future, but they absolutely shape it. Maybe your childhood taught you the value of saving. Maybe a painful marriage taught you the importance of financial independence. Maybe watching your parents struggle inspired you to build a different legacy. Maybe depression taught you the value of taking one small step at a time. Or maybe someone said something to you that spurred you on to change your life. Whatever your story, don't waste the villain. Use it. Let it remind you. Why you're saving? Why you're investing? Why you're buying life insurance? Why you are creating an estate plan? Why you're delaying gratification today so that tomorrow can be filled with greater freedom? This incredible future, hopefully, that you've created. in your mind that you are living into, that so-called first creation, created in your mind first and then acted on, as Stephen Covey says in The Seven Habits, because at the end of the day, retirement planning isn't just about reaching a number. It's about becoming the person capable of living a remarkable life. We believe retirement planning goes far beyond money. It is, in many ways, the greatest hero journey you'll ever take. So ask yourself this week, who is the villain in your story, and who are you becoming Because of it or them. For more about the hero's journey and Joseph Campbell, I highly, highly encourage that you watch the documentary called Finding Joe. You can find it free on YouTube. Again, Finding Joe. Watch it. You'll get inspired, I promise. I highly recommend it. Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Happiness in Retirement podcast, and until next time, keep investing not only in your portfolio, but in your character, your relationships, your health, and your purpose, because those are the treasures every true hero brings home. See you next time. SPEAKER_01: That's it for today's episode of the Happiness in Retirement Program podcast. We hope you found some valuable insights to help you create the retirement you deserve. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who's planning for their future. For more tips and resources, visit happinessinretirement.com or the Del Ceti Capital Management Facebook page. Until next time, here's to a happy, healthy, and financially secure retirement. All information has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but its accuracy is not guaranteed. There is no representation or warranty as to the current accuracy, reliability, or completeness of, nor liability for, decisions based on such information, and it should not be relied on as such.