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Sober Talk SA- Glenda · Sober Talk SA

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  Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I have lived
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  experience at alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
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  1300. 2222 double. Two or check out their website
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  on aa.org dot AU. I'll just run through the
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  preamble of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who
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  share their experience, strengthen hope with each other.
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  They must solve their come problems and help others to
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  recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for
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  membership is a desire to stop drinking.
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  There are no dues or fees for AIR membership.
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  We are self supporting through our own contributions.
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  AIR is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics,
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  organization or institution, Does not wish to engage in any
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  controversy, neither endorses or oppose any causes.
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  Our primary purpose is stairsolman help other
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  Alcoholics achieve sobriety. Hi there everyone.
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  It's Glenda here, alcoholic. I think I got the green light.
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  Karen, I'm here starting. So thanks.
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  Thanks for inviting me tonight. I had volunteered a while back
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  and happened to come pop up and I agreed to do it because I
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  thought it would be a good idea to agree to do it, even though I
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  could have been relaxing. I think it came up right.
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  It was meant to be. So yeah, I haven't been a guest
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  speaker before, really. So I think I didn't really
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  overthink it too much and ask too many questions of Michelle
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  on how I should go. I've listened to guest speakers
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  before, but yeah, Once Upon a time, yes, it's Glenda.
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  My sobriety date is 16th of November 2016.
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  I'm 43 years old. I'm married with two children.
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  I own my house and I have a dog and a cat and I have a full time
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  job. And that's just a little bit
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  about me. I'm doing this on my telephone,
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  so I'm hoping and assuming they all are hearing me, what it was
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  like. I had loving parents, David and
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  Jackie, and I had a younger brother and younger sister and
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  we moved around a lot in my early life because of my dad's
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  job and I didn't know any different.
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  That was my normal and my mum made it fun and it was fun.
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  And yeah, we moved with my dad to Papua New Guinea and whilst
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  we lived there, my mother died in a car accident.
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  And yeah, I remember being in New Guinea and my parents would
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  entertain a lot and have lots of people over and, and we'd have
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  parties down the park all the time.
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  All the kids would get together and entertain one another and
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  the parents would sit around and talk and drink.
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  So yeah, that kind of lifestyle was appealing even at a young
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  age. It was fun.
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  And yeah, my, my mum died and we moved back to Australia and, you
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  know, things were a bit harder after that.
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  And my dad drank his feelings about my mother, I guess.
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  I suppose I noticed this behaviour and, you know, it's a
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  good way to squash feelings of sadness.
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  And. Yeah, Dad, Dad remarried and
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  started to get happier again. And it disturbed me because, you
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  know, I thought, like, my mother was being forgotten and replaced
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  and I and I moved out and moved with my grandparents, who are my
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  mother's parents. And my grandfather, you know, he
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  used to have vodka. He dealt with feelings of losing
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  his daughter by drinking and. Yeah, they let me drink on
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  occasion, and then on occasion I would steal the Sherry and, you
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  know, take it to school. Started experimenting and drank
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  with my friends. We all were experimenting and
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  yeah, it was great. I thought, this is being an
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  adult now. I even drank stupidly year 11 of
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  high school. I we had a formal in year 11 as
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  well as having one in year 12. It's like a semi formal formal.
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  I got drunk at my friend's farm and I fell on the concrete and
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  smashed my tooth. A tiny chip, a reminder.
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  Could have been much worse now I realized.
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  But yeah, my friends from school said remember doing this.
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  Do you remember doing that? No, not really.
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  And I kind of just laughed it off.
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  But no one else had ridiculous stories like that.
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  But yeah. And then so went through high
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  school, Awkward, awkward. You know, I hear a lot in AA
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  about people not fitting in in high school.
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  I just thought that was. I just think that's everyone.
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  It's just awkward years. But they went.
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  I went by relatively unscathed in high school.
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  I think I even had a boyfriend. But yeah, it's hard to remember.
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  I was, I know I was a bit frigid, but anyway, then I
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  joined the Air Force straight from after high school, and
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  yeah, I wasn't frigid anymore. I just had all my own money, my
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  own time, and a new exciting life.
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  And booze was just huge in the culture.
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  I had an alcoholic Air Force uncle.
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  I had AI have a alcoholic Air Force father and yeah, lifestyle
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  in the Air Force was great. Really, really fun times.
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  Like so many parties and you know, a bit of study and a bit
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  of training in there. But what I can remember, it was
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  absolutely fun, fun time. And then of course I got into
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  trouble and it was alcohol related, made some, you know,
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  probably poor choices in partners and all under the
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  influence of alcohol. And yeah, So what happened was I
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  moved posting to Melbourne and the booze, I dropped comedies.
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  I've, I get hooked up with a guy that likes booze, I like booze
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  or my friendship group like booze.
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  They were the people that I flocked to though, really.
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  And yeah, people just kept getting opportunities ahead of
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  me and promoted ahead of me. And I remember the trouble.
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  And it was all booze related, yes.
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  So I met my husband and we bonded over a few beers, of
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  course, and I progressed into my marriage and with him.
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  Beautiful man. And you know, I had the usual
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  let's live together and get married and have babies and
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  yeah, and the drinking went away a little bit when I was pregnant
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  and then came back. And then it really progressed in
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  me. It got more frequent closer
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  together. The drinks significantly changed
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  from sweet white wines and beers to red wines.
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  They seem to take my fancy. I never really could afford hard
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  spirits. I was always a bit of a
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  cheapskate, really. It also caused problems.
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  Yeah, financial problems because the decision making was poor
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  between my husband and I and he's not an alcoholic, he was a
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  gambler. So yeah, we had terrible time
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  with money. We had good times and bad times.
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  And then yeah, the the drinking is really what brought us down.
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  It really did. We had some really great times.
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  We had a property in Kangaroo Island and my husband worked so
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  hard to have that. You know, he did like to bit
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  like we had a lot of money. But, you know, it was a nice
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  project and we were proud of it. But really what made us lose it,
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  lose it was the booze, you know, and the gambling.
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  I mean, it didn't help. I kind of for sometimes always
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  feel like it's my fault. Sometimes, always, I sometimes
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  feel on reflection that it was all my fault.
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  But yeah, so things got a bit worse when I took a redundancy
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  and I, I had a six month old baby and I took a redundancy and
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  I hadn't really stopped drinking very much in that pregnancy.
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  I even remember ordering 2 wines with dinner when I was in just
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  after I'd given birth to her in the hospital.
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  And I do remember the nurse coming to take away my dinner
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  and I stopped her from taking away the wine and she tutted at
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  me. Remember that.
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  But yeah, I, we moved. We moved house with a six month
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  old baby and I had redundancy money.
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  So we got new, new stuff, which made Sean feel good.
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  And I had time at home with the baby and not, you know, needing
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  to go out. So I just drank a lot and moved
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  house from there. When we bought our bought our
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  house finally. That was some terrible drinking.
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  Sorry. In that time when I was renting,
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  I hated renting. And then we finally bought a
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  house and I thought, I thought get better when I'm because it's
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  a fresh start with a new house and everything, but it didn't.
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  And I I used to hook up my trailer, pack my house up, do
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  loads in my car and my trailer. I got very good with the tie
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  down strap and drive furniture between my house, my houses
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  removing being a removalist of my own stuff.
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  Pissed driving with towing a trailer.
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  Like what a Dick head. But yeah, so anyway, couple of
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  years at the new house and yeah, things declined and I was
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  getting really sick and yeah, just my, my behaviour was just
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  terrible and I was really being horrible to my body.
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  But just my skin was awful, my hair.
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  And you know, I'd, I'd have a shower and try and make myself
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  look good on the outside, get up at 5:30 and do all the chores
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  and really, really try to make things look OK.
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  It's very tiring work. And yeah, and then I hit rock
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  bottom and went off to rehab for 2 1/2 weeks.
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  And yeah, just started turning it around.
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  I, I turned it around, I stopped drinking and I really thought it
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  might be my only chance to really make a goal of it.
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  So don't do it half heartedly. So I listened to the doctors and
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  the nurses and the alcohol counsellor and just started
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  doing what I was told. Yeah, I'm trying.
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  I really started trying. And you know, while I was
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  staying there at the, I went to the church and I've been going
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  to the church ever since. I find that the place that gives
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  me comfort and I kind of liken it to not going to RSL, going to
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  the church. I knew hang out almost I knew
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  something to do wholesome hobby. Yeah so I am good at work.
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  I started to be able to talk to my boss and be within a breath
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  of her because the paranoia from how I was living before had
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  disappeared and I wasn't paranoid that I was going to get
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  in trouble for drinking at work. I didn't drink at work, but I
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  still smelled like booze the next day.
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  I started to get good and bad to concentrate and get, you know, a
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  lot happier almost straight away.
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  And six months I've been sober and I got arrested for drug
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  trafficking and I then had to for my dad worked not far from
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  where I worked and I had to try and plead my case to keep my
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  job. I was six months sober and I
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  still wasn't completely honest. I was too scared to be honest.
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  I, I said I didn't do it. I lied and I, you know, got told
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  the lawyer that I didn't know what I was doing and made-up
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  some bullshit and, you know, the charges were dropped and but I
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  didn't get off. I still lost my job.
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  I lost respect from my bosses, irrespective of my parents
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  really. They still love me by the way
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  and have forgiven me. But yeah, I Because the charges
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  were dropped, I could have then maybe tried to fight for my job
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  or my rights, but I had to concentrate on staying sober or
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  fighting for a job that I realized that I didn't really
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  like anyway. And, and, and keep lying and
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  trying to just keep lying like I had no energy for that.
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  So I had to concentrate. I concentrated on the, on the
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  getting sober and then I cleaned houses and worked my butt off
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  and then got another job that I loved and just, you know, made a
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  decision to try and be grateful and happy instead of feel sorry
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  for myself. Yeah, did end up getting a
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  sponsor in AA and doing, going through the steps and made some
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  amends. And I, I do find that that was
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  very helpful in dropping baggage and getting on with the life of
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  the sober, the sober living just to get on with it.
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  And IAS taught me, you know, don't forget about the crappy
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  shit that you did, but you know, how can get get on with being
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  happy. That's one of the biggest things
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  I've I've taken from it. There's just something about it.
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  It's like a bit of a club and it's an outing and it's when
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  you're feeling restless, you can go there because it's not good
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  to be restless. So.
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  And yeah, I've I'm still got a lot to learn.
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  I do some service work which helps keep me busy.
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  And I can also see with some clarity that not only doing
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  suggested, suggested doing suggested things, things that
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  your husband suggests and your parents suggests, people that
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  are wiser than you suggest, you know, take it all, think,
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  consider it, consider the advice, especially if you've
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  asked for it. And, you know, be prepared to
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  ask for help. You know, I can go to the
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  doctor's now with an ailment and listen and do the suggested
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  things. You know, just it, it sounds so
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  simple and it just sounds. But, you know, I don't think I
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  did that those things before, I never paid attention.
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  I thought I knew better or I forgot the advice as soon as it
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  was given. But, you know, now that I can
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  sort of actively listen, you know, a A has taught me to be a
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  better listener, I think. And yeah, I know that I'm
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  struggling at the moment, but I know that I can get through it.
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  And, you know, I have the love of my, my sister and my dad and
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  my husband, my husband's family. You know, when I hear about
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  things happening in Myanmar, I got to take, I've got to be
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  grateful for what, you know, for what I have.
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  I don't have a terrible life. You just have to bring it back
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  to gratitude. You know, I have Wi-Fi.
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  I have a phone and a car and a job.
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  And, you know, if I was drinking, I probably wouldn't
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  have any of those things because I was getting really, really
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  sick. And now I'm getting better and
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  yeah, I think, I think I can finish.
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  I, I appreciate being asked and I hope that I made some kind of
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  a sense in what I was saying. I, I was a bit nervous and I
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  thought, should I prepare? Should I write notes?
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  You know, the alcoholic mind was going a little bit and then I
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  did a meditation, which was also homework that I had to do for my
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  course that I'm doing tomorrow. So that helped me, I think.
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  I'm sure you guys will let me know whether I sound crazy.
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  But yeah, I love you all. And just all the glory to God.
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  I won't forget about that because, you know, someone
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  definitely was looking out for me and I prayed that I would
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  speak the words, the good words tonight.
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  So I hope that prayer came true. Thank you.
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  We have local meetings for the full week in the local area.
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  Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00. Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00.
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  Wednesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00.
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  Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00 and Friday at Salisbury at 8:00.
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  There's a meeting at Devron Park at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a
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  maintenance Salisbury at 7:00 and many of the meetings in the
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  area. For details of your local
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  meetings, please phone 1300. 222222 and.
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  Once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
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  issues, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on 13 Under Double.
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  22222. The website isaasa.org dot AU.