Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Dr. Don Wood - CEO at Inspired Performance Institute | Unlocking Your Mind's Potential

Transcript

Dr. Don Wood - CEO at Inspired Performance Institute | Unlocking Your Mind's Potential · Success Story with Scott Clary

• 0:00
  Why is traditional sort of response to these traumas is so different?
• 0:04
  Why would you take drugs? What's wrong with you? Right? You're broken and defeated.
• 0:08
  They all call addiction a disease, but at the same time, even though they call it a disease,
• 0:12
  they still treat it as if it's some sort of a character flaw.
• 0:16
  But I don't believe that you should make people stand up in front of a room every day and say,
• 0:20
  I'm broken and defeated, I'm an addict.
• 0:22
  You define addiction a different way than many people. How do you define addiction?
• 0:25
  I believe that addiction is coming from pain and so chances are it's emotional pain created
• 0:31
  by trauma. So that trauma loop is running in the background. They can't stop it and so they're
• 0:37
  just feeling this constant pain. So when they take the drug or they take the alcohol or whatever it is,
• 0:42
  they numb it. So that's what they were trying to do was numb the pain. So what are they teaching
• 0:46
  the brain? That's my solution to my pain. And so now they try to use the logical part of the
• 0:52
  brain to say I shouldn't do it, but the survival brain will always override reason and logic
• 0:58
  every single time. We're all pretty much dehydrated all the time, but we're not diving into the lakes
• 1:04
  to try to suck up the water supply. It's the mind.
• 1:09
  Welcome to success story. I'm your host, Scott Clary. The success story podcast is part of the
• 1:14
  HubSpot podcast network. HubSpot is a huge supporter of the show. I'm a huge fan of HubSpot,
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• 2:34
  Well, Dr. Wood, thank you for coming on the show. I appreciate you coming down here from
• 2:38
  Orlando. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity. It's going to be good. I want to start this off.
• 2:44
  Obviously, this conversation is not going to be a light conversation because we're going to talk
• 2:48
  about a lot of difficult topics like trauma and we're going to talk about something that we're
• 2:54
  going to talk about performance as well. But one of the terms that you claim that you've written
• 3:01
  your book about is emotional concussions. I want to understand what an emotional concussion is
• 3:09
  because that's going to lead into all the other topics we're going to talk about.
• 3:13
  It was interesting because I met a lot of people who would say, I haven't had trauma
• 3:18
  and they don't identify with trauma. I coined the term emotional concussion. Can you tell me
• 3:24
  something that bumped you in your life? A coach that told you you're not good enough,
• 3:28
  you know, a teacher that told you you're stupid, maybe even an overly critical parent.
• 3:33
  Most people wouldn't relate that as a trauma. But even those kinds of emotional concussions
• 3:40
  will show up later in life because your mind uses those as resources. What do we know, for example,
• 3:47
  my wife is a great example. She was in elementary school and the teacher brought her up to the front
• 3:53
  of the class and started firing multiplication questions at her and she froze because it's tense.
• 4:02
  Yeah. And so she couldn't answer the questions and she remembers the people sort of laughing,
• 4:07
  the kids laughing. So when she told me that story, this is before I was ever in this, she was sobbing.
• 4:15
  Now that's an emotional concussion. Was the teacher intentionally trying to hurt her?
• 4:19
  No, right. But she froze. Why did she freeze? Because she was living in a very traumatic
• 4:25
  household with a very intimidating father. She couldn't perform. And so now she has the belief
• 4:32
  that she's not smart. So let's talk about, let's talk about how these events in life they
• 4:43
  imprint on an individual, right? Because again, we're not saying that this is trauma in the way
• 4:49
  that many people would describe it, but everybody has these stressful events that imprint on you and
• 4:54
  this is what you basically built your life's work around. So describe to me how maybe even we can go
• 5:02
  down to like a biological level, a traumatic event like that. What does that actually do to the brain
• 5:12
  when somebody laughs at you when you can't answer multiplication questions when you're standing
• 5:15
  in front of the class? What is that? How does that imprint on you? And then how does it end up
• 5:20
  manifesting later on in life? Well, a situation like that like an emotional concussion. Yeah.
• 5:26
  That will become a resource that the mind uses to filter through. What do we know about how smart I
• 5:32
  am? Well, what did a child who has no life experience? What does it mean to them? So they attach a
• 5:39
  meaning to it very early in life, especially during the most formative brain development years
• 5:45
  between zero and seven is when a child is basically forming who they are. So they're really coming up
• 5:52
  with their identity. So if they've got a lot of criticism going on, which is what my wife was going
• 5:57
  through, you know, you're stupid, you're blah blah blah blah blah all the time. So she's growing up
• 6:03
  with this belief. Who told her that? An authority figure. And so now it's just that's me. I'm not
• 6:10
  very smart. She's brilliant. She's my best researcher now. But trauma has a major effect on the way
• 6:17
  the brain works. And what I talk about and this is sort of it's getting a little ahead of ourselves
• 6:24
  because I explain how I developed the program. I know I want to well, that's what I want to lead with
• 6:28
  this. And then I'll go back. But yeah, yeah, I don't worry. I got you. Okay. We're going back to
• 6:33
  the story too. Yeah. So what really happens is trauma continues. I call it a loop. It runs on a
• 6:40
  loop because your mind never sabotages you. And I hear people all the time saying, how I sabotage
• 6:46
  myself. And I say it's impossible. The brain is a survival brain. It's trying to protect you. So
• 6:53
  it's going to move you in a direction to keep you safe. So for example, like somebody like that
• 6:59
  who's thought, I'm stupid. And then an opportunity comes along to go out and get interviewed for this
• 7:05
  job. What are they going to do? Oh no, I'm not going to take that job. So they keep sabotaging
• 7:11
  themselves in their mind. But they're not what their mind is saying, you can't go in front of people
• 7:16
  and talk because what's going to happen to you? You're going to get humiliated, right? You don't
• 7:20
  know how to do that. And that becomes a reference on how they can respond in a certain situation
• 7:26
  that looks like that. So it's really it is like a safety mechanism. It's totally so people look
• 7:32
  at it the wrong way. They think that there's something that they're never going to overcome
• 7:37
  because that's their brain just protecting them. They're sort of set that way. And they don't
• 7:41
  understand that it's something that happened to them early on that actually was this traumatic or
• 7:47
  emotionally can cost them to the point where they can no longer get past that anytime they
• 7:51
  experience something similar at a later stage in their life. That's more or less how this works.
• 7:56
  Exactly. So yes, let's back it up and let's go through sort of the the the the origin story of
• 8:03
  where you came from because I know that you're another Canadian. But very very similar backgrounds.
• 8:09
  But eventually obviously you went down this path of figuring out why this was something that
• 8:14
  invited people such a degree based on your own family or an experience. So let's talk about it.
• 8:18
  So where'd you come from? How did you sort of get to this point in your career?
• 8:21
  So I'm originally from Canada Toronto moved down to Florida over 30 years ago. And I was not
• 8:28
  involved in this business at all. I've always been an entrepreneur. And the only reason I got
• 8:33
  into this business was because my wife had trauma and then my daughter we found out had trauma.
• 8:40
  And we didn't know about her trauma. So the reason we came to the trauma was because she had
• 8:48
  Crohn's at 14 was diagnosed with Crohn's and we didn't know what where the Crohn's come from.
• 8:54
  And so we started researching it and there was like there's no cure for it. They don't know what
• 8:58
  causes it. You just have to manage it for the rest of your life. And so she ended up having four
• 9:03
  resections done where they cut out 24 inches of her intestines. And they said there's no cure for
• 9:09
  this. She'll eventually end up with a class to me back. But we don't know about her trauma yet.
• 9:14
  And then she she's an actress and she was acted in Canada and then she was out in LA and she ended
• 9:22
  up getting really sick and then she was rushed to the hospital. She started coughing up blood.
• 9:27
  And they did a whole bunch of tests. I had an ICU for three and a half weeks and came back with
• 9:33
  a diagnosis of idiopathic pulmonary hemociderosis. And that's when my wife said to me, I was adopted.
• 9:40
  Right. So we didn't know my whole family history. So my wife said to me, you need to figure this out
• 9:46
  and research this and find out if this is hereditary. This must be your fault. This is my fault.
• 9:52
  Then I'm like, how could it be my fault? But I've been healthy all my life. Right. And so I started
• 10:00
  to put the research together and talk to a lot of people who have autoimmune disorders. And I started
• 10:05
  going back to get my PhD. And so I started doing the research as well. And then I made a connection
• 10:12
  between a lot of these people who had these autoimmune and health issues as having trauma.
• 10:18
  And so we talked to my daughter and said, is there anything that you haven't told us or anything
• 10:23
  that we need to know? And then she disclosed that when she was sick, she had some sexual abuse.
• 10:28
  And she'd never shared that. So now I'm like, click, click, click, right. And now I'm connecting all
• 10:33
  the dots and saying, they're not treating it right. So because they had my daughter on steroids
• 10:40
  right for the Crohn, that's a de facto treatment for Crohn's. Yeah, generally it's medication
• 10:46
  and steroids. So they're really trying to bring the inflammation down because Crohn's is just
• 10:50
  really inflammation. And so, but then what happens is if your intestinal tract closes up, no food
• 10:56
  can get through. So then you've got a problem. You just can't eat and you'll lose weight and drop
• 11:02
  weight really fast. So if they get the inflammation down and get food through. So that was the big
• 11:08
  issue. She go down to 95 pounds, 90, 95 pounds because she could need. And then what happens is,
• 11:15
  and this is what I sort of put together from the research, when we have this unresolved trauma,
• 11:20
  what I mean by unresolved is running in the background. What happens is that creates inflammation
• 11:27
  inflammation then compromises the immune system and compromises the neurotransmitters. So if your
• 11:33
  immune system is compromised, she was always getting ear infections, throat infections, always sick,
• 11:38
  not just with the Crohn's, but all kinds of stuff because her immune system is weakened.
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  And that also affects the neurotransmitters. So she's not feeling good. So she goes in and says,
• 11:49
  I'm really anxious. They're putting on anxiety medications. And now I'm really depressed. Now they
• 11:54
  put her on depression medication. So she was only the lagging indicators are solving for. Yeah.
• 11:59
  And so they're not fixing the problem. And they told us there's no cure for it. How does, how does
• 12:05
  these, how do these trauma feedback loops create inflammation or create all these other? Because I
• 12:11
  think that's the gap that people have a hard time understanding. Now I think a lot of people can
• 12:15
  agree. They understand like the mind has very powerful and it impacts a lot of like the hormones
• 12:20
  and physical being to a significant degree. But something like trauma, where does it, what's the
• 12:25
  pathway where it actually creates this inflammation? It's brilliant. The mind is not doing anything that's
• 12:32
  not in your benefit. Exactly. Right. So everyone would say, well, that's not in my benefit. How can,
• 12:37
  how can prolonged inflammation be in my benefit? Well, that's the thing. Inflammation isn't the problem.
• 12:43
  Chronic inflammation is the problem. So inflammation is a temporary response to a threat.
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  So the cells go into a cell danger response. So they become hardened and inflamed. The purpose of
• 12:56
  that is to protect the system. So nothing can get into that cell. Right. During this attack. So
• 13:03
  it's protecting it. And so inflammation is a good thing in that particular situation. The problem is
• 13:11
  nothing can get into the cell, but nothing can get out of the cell. But it's supposed to be
• 13:16
  temporary until the danger is over. So if you start to punch me in the arm, what's going to happen
• 13:22
  to my arm? It's all up. Yeah. So they're going to a cell danger response. We're under attack.
• 13:28
  Yeah. So inflammation is a response to an attack. So it thinks that we need to protect this system
• 13:35
  right here. And so it'll go into an inflamed state. Now, when you stop hitting me, right,
• 13:43
  eventually it's going to go down and the immune system will come in and clean up. Perfectly
• 13:48
  designed system. The problem is trauma keeps running. And so your subconscious, your survival brain
• 13:56
  operates in the present. It sees everything is now. So trauma is being seen in real time over
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  and over and over, even though it doesn't exist anymore. It's a glitch. It's an error message.
• 14:10
  So it's not just when you experience something that is similar to the traumatic event. It is a
• 14:17
  constant that's always going in almost anything that you do. Even if it's not, for example,
• 14:25
  something that's happening in the now, this traumatic event that's imprinted in your brain is
• 14:29
  always running all the time. So this is where this inflammation comes from. So it's not like
• 14:34
  you can be triggered in the future at any point more easily. It's always happening. It's always
• 14:38
  running. How does that subconscious feed the conscious? Like how does that subconscious feed
• 14:46
  or effect what's going on right now in the present? Because there's different, I was sort of
• 14:53
  doing a little bit of research before this. And there's different brain states that you can be in.
• 14:58
  And I guess that I'd like you to go into this a little bit more. So people get understand
• 15:02
  the science behind it. So it's very clear. But these events, these are like these HD events that
• 15:09
  happen in beta state. Right. Okay. So can you explain how these events are imprinted in beta state?
• 15:15
  Why is beta state so important for memories? And then how does that affect the other states
• 15:22
  at the brain as you're going through life? Because you're not always in beta state. Right. Like
• 15:26
  right now, I don't know what state we're in, but it's maybe it is beta. I don't know if it's
• 15:29
  a stressful event. Hopefully not too long. But it's usually not going to be as something as
• 15:34
  significant as, for example, being laughed at at the front of the class, right? Or sexual assault.
• 15:39
  Right. Well, we have basically four brainwave states. We have beta alpha theta delta. And beta is
• 15:46
  operating about 15 to 30 hertz. So think about cycles, right? The bicycle tire, right? Spinning
• 15:52
  pretty quick. It's taking in a tremendous amount of information in that moment. So why would it do
• 15:58
  that? Right. In a traumatic situation, it wants to record everything it's seen in experiencing
• 16:04
  for future reference, right, to use. So it's taking in a lot of data and hide. That's why I say
• 16:12
  it's high definition. So because that high definition data has been stored, right? In memory,
• 16:19
  no animal does this. Only humans do it. We have two memory systems. Animals have one. So we learn
• 16:26
  through two different systems, explicit memory, which is all the events and experiences in your
• 16:33
  lifetime have been recorded and stored in that explicit memory. Animals don't store explicit memory.
• 16:40
  So the memory system they have, we also have this is basically procedural associative memory.
• 16:46
  So they learn through experiences and they don't know why they know what they know. They just know
• 16:51
  it. And so it's basically associating. So there that's why if you have a pet like a dog, right?
• 16:59
  You can feed the dog today. You can feed the dog the same thing tomorrow. He doesn't remember eating
• 17:04
  that yesterday, but he's associated you with food and love and safety. He doesn't know why he's
• 17:11
  safe, but he just knows it. So that's the associative memory. That's how we learn how to ride a bike,
• 17:16
  play a guitar. If you repeat it over and over and over, you're going to code it. And I talk about
• 17:23
  that's the memory that codes for us, which is really interesting because I say that that's what
• 17:27
  addiction is. Addiction is coming from that coding memory. It's not a disease. Yeah. Yeah. Not a disease.
• 17:34
  It's a code. Okay. So that is what actually that state is what is what actually allows us to
• 17:42
  in theory hold on to these traumatic memories for forever as this preservation mechanism.
• 17:50
  Yeah. So it's storing it and it goes through the hippocampus and it's stored into long-term
• 17:54
  memory. Yeah. So now you've got a file and high definition stored in this memory system,
• 18:01
  but 95% of your mind is operating on a subconscious level that your survival brain and that brain operates
• 18:09
  in the present all the time. It has no connection to time. Everything is now. Your conscious mind
• 18:18
  operates about 5% and that's the ability to use reason, logic, figure stuff out. So that part of
• 18:24
  the brain is our intellectual brain, right? Animals don't have that. We can think of things,
• 18:29
  imagine things, create things that never existed. That's coming from the 5%. So animals aren't
• 18:37
  sitting around saying, how can I improve my life today? What could I create? They don't do that.
• 18:42
  They just operate in the moment. They're 100% subconscious. They just respond to what's happening now.
• 18:50
  So we have 95% of our mind working like that and then the 5% is the intellectual,
• 18:56
  reasonable, logical part of our brain. So when we talk about these sort of
• 19:01
  constant feedback loops, I spoke about one example, which was in cell inflammation, which led to
• 19:07
  autoimmune disease. What are some other ways that this can actually impact us? So physically,
• 19:14
  it actually affects the way the DNA is read and transcribed, which is amazing. Yes.
• 19:20
  I just wrote my fourth book and I'm calling it don't mess with my DNA. It is meant for parents
• 19:25
  to understand what happens to your child if they don't have this nurturing, loving environment,
• 19:31
  like I grew up in, so I grew up in. So I've got this nurturing home that I grew up in.
• 19:37
  And so my DNA was not being affected and it's not the actual DNA that changes is the genes,
• 19:44
  the genetics. And so the genetics will change and here's what happens. When there's trauma,
• 19:51
  trauma actually will start to change the genes and the inflammation. So inflammation genes turn up
• 20:00
  and that's designed to say we're in danger. We need to get inflammation to protect the system.
• 20:07
  So then what it's going to do is turn down the immune genes, turn down the neuroplasticity,
• 20:14
  neurotransmitters. So the genes are being affected by what this experience is, but it's not supposed
• 20:21
  to stay there. It's supposed to come back in the line when the threat's over. Here's the glitch.
• 20:28
  When trauma keeps running in the background, the genes stay in that state. So now if your immune
• 20:35
  system genes are not methylated in and expressing properly, you're going to get sick. So there's where
• 20:42
  people who have a lot of trauma or any kind of trauma are more susceptible to getting sick. You mentioned
• 20:49
  neuroplasticity as well. So it's harder for those people to learn to learn. Yep. And there's where
• 20:54
  my wife didn't feel smart. She couldn't learn. She couldn't focus. And she said to me one time,
• 21:00
  well, school was easy for you. And I said, well, of course it was easy for me. I didn't have any
• 21:05
  threats in my life. I didn't have to worry what my dad was going to do to me when I got home.
• 21:10
  You couldn't do that. So you were in constant flight her entire childhood as exhausting. So now
• 21:19
  you have to go to school and you have to focus. How do you focus when you're that, you know,
• 21:24
  challenge is a child. So what you what you had growing up, what I had growing up. And I want to
• 21:31
  eventually get to the point where how do we architect this kind of environment for people who
• 21:36
  haven't had that. That's where then that will come back to performance and and some of the systems
• 21:41
  that you've sort of figured out through your career. But really what happens is we go into the world
• 21:49
  and the world is stressful. And then we go back home. And then we have this like this peaceful place
• 21:54
  that we can reset. Yep. So the majority of our time is spent in this really great space where
• 22:01
  we're not being stressed out. We're not being traumatized. Right. So we're learning like we're
• 22:05
  learning how to sort of come back and remove the stress from our environment. Reset. Reset.
• 22:10
  Basically. Yep. And then those small micro traumas that you get going into the world like the
• 22:16
  they're not as detrimental because you have this safe space to come home to. Exactly.
• 22:20
  The majority of your time is in a good spot. Yep. And you're learning to expand and come back.
• 22:25
  I got you. Okay. So then this is probably a very useful skill as an adult. Oh wow. Absolutely.
• 22:30
  And work a stressful life stressful relationship stressful. But you know how to I guess remove
• 22:36
  yourself from the situation and then come back to the baseline. Yeah. And reset and rebalance. So I
• 22:41
  had been doing that all my life. And then on top of that I didn't have any real trauma. Yeah.
• 22:46
  So I'm getting bumped by a friend who said something to teach her a coach. Right. Those are the
• 22:51
  not big things. Right. A lot of people have a lot more than that. You know sexual abuse,
• 22:56
  physical abuse, right. All that kind of stuff. So you add that on top of it. You put that kind of
• 23:02
  abuse even in a good nurturing environment. It's still going to have an effect. So obviously I
• 23:09
  could see how that could impact performance. I could impact a lot. Like we just said it can
• 23:13
  impact learning can impact your health, the wellness. It could totally impact performance as well
• 23:17
  because I'm assuming the people that some of the people you work with right now have gone
• 23:22
  through all these horrible life circumstances, maybe situational trauma or ongoing trauma.
• 23:30
  And we're just using trauma because it's an easy it's an easy word to understand what we're
• 23:34
  dealing with here. But they've probably succeeded in spite of. And I'm assuming that there's a lot
• 23:42
  of people that have not succeeded in spite of, but I'm assuming that a lot of people that are focused
• 23:45
  on optimal performance, they've succeeded in spite of what they've gone through. But then you can get
• 23:51
  that extra whatever. Exactly. Everybody has another gear. So okay, so let's talk about let's talk
• 23:58
  about the sort of the process that you figured out. So we've understood now we sort of understand
• 24:03
  like the background and and how these feedback loops work and we can all agree it kind of sucks
• 24:07
  and it's not it's not helpful for anybody. So what do you do about it? Because I think and I also
• 24:12
  want to understand like what the industry benchmark is for doing stuff about it now. Is it therapy?
• 24:19
  Is it drugs? I don't know. I'm not a doctor. So tell me like what if I had trauma and I felt like I
• 24:25
  for example was killing it and making a lot of money in my business. But every time I stepped
• 24:29
  on stage, I was nervous. Right. What's the what's the go to fix before you exist? So what you do
• 24:36
  is you go into your doctor and you'd say I have really bad anxiety. Yeah. Right. And what are they
• 24:41
  going to do? I'm going to put you on Medicaid drugs, probably immediately. So when people come into
• 24:45
  me and say I have really bad anxiety, what I say is why? Why would you have anxiety? I know
• 24:53
  sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. But when I explain to them anxiety is coming from a fear
• 24:58
  of something. What is your mind afraid of? And chances are it's coming from an event or an
• 25:04
  experience earlier in their life, right? Like my wife, she would never go on stage and talk. Why?
• 25:10
  Because of that event. Because what did she learn from that? That's hurtful. So her mind would say
• 25:17
  if somebody said to her, Oh, I'd love to have you come up and speak about, you know, blah, blah,
• 25:22
  whatever it was. Even if she was super knowledgeable about it, she would have said no. I'm not going
• 25:27
  to do that. She wouldn't do it because she knows she'd stand up on stage. She'd freeze again.
• 25:33
  So those are the things that continue to loop and run. So what I say is because that was stored
• 25:39
  in high definition, the mind is actually seeing it in real time. It's actually happening now. Even
• 25:46
  that's not even though it's not because it's looking at the data in real time. So the funny way to
• 25:52
  explain I was talking to a gentleman yesterday and he loved this. I said, you're conscious mind,
• 25:56
  you're 5% right? They can use reason and logic. Hollywood has made trillions of dollars from this.
• 26:03
  So you go into a movie theater and you're watching this movie and you're conscious mind,
• 26:08
  right? The logical intellectual says, Oh, that's Leonardo DiCaprio playing in a movie called Titanic.
• 26:14
  And your subconscious mind says, Jack is going to die. He's drowning. You feel the emotion, right?
• 26:21
  The purpose of an emotion is a call for an action. What does your mind want you to do? Act. Do
• 26:28
  something. The purpose of fears to get you into an action to run or escape. Anger is designed to
• 26:34
  get you to attack. So if you think about something, this is the best way to know if trauma is active
• 26:39
  for you. If you think about something that happened to you at some point in your life and you feel an
• 26:44
  emotion like fear or anger, it's active in looping and running. So all we have to do is take that
• 26:52
  high definition. This is the best way. So anybody listening right now, this is a great way to explain
• 26:56
  it. Tell me what you ate for dinner last night. So we've just got right now. If I asked you what you
• 27:02
  ate for dinner, what did you have for dinner? I'd drink food last night. Right. So when I asked you
• 27:07
  that, you saw pictures right of what you ate, maybe where you were when you ate it. Yeah. That's
• 27:11
  how you stored the information in memory. Yeah. But it wasn't threatening or disturbing. So it's
• 27:16
  stored as a fairly low resolution file. I'll probably forget if you ask me next week, I would not
• 27:22
  know what exactly. But there's not enough information. There was no threat to your survival. But
• 27:27
  even though you may forget it, it's still there and it's stored. So we've got billions of bits of
• 27:32
  information stored in this memory system. But if that was in the traumatic event, a very disturbing
• 27:39
  event, all your senses are heightened. You're in a high beta state. Now it's recorded that with
• 27:43
  tremendous amounts of detail. So what's going to happen if somebody reminds you about that high
• 27:50
  definition beta memory and your mind starts looking at that memory like I asked you about dinner.
• 27:58
  Your mind is going to think it's happening now and activate a nervous system response of fear or
• 28:03
  anger whatever it is because it's going to try to get you into an action. So when people try and
• 28:10
  sort of solve for this without maybe going through one of your programs, say they go to therapy or
• 28:16
  they take drugs or whatever. I'm trying to think of even like a practical example for myself because
• 28:20
  I think that that stage fright example is perfect example for most people and it's the most common
• 28:25
  fear in the world. One of the most right. So nothing really maybe there is trauma when I was
• 28:31
  presenting in front of a class, you know, when back in like grade three, grade four. But when I do
• 28:36
  it now, it's taken me maybe like 20 or 30 times before I get comfortable. So I'm using volume of
• 28:42
  exposure to basically rewrite my experience to a degree. Is that correct? That's actually pretty
• 28:50
  accurate. Yeah. So what you've done is you've diluted the one event. Okay. Right. So what is your
• 28:55
  mind using as his research? The success you had. It'll also look at that. So it may create a little
• 29:01
  bit of like, well, we also did have this problem. Yeah. But we've got I always say think of repetition
• 29:08
  as research. The brain sees that as research. So if you had a experience like my wife, right? And
• 29:16
  that's the only resource it has to look at speaking on stage. What's it going to use? That experience.
• 29:22
  So we're not going to do that because we're going to get hurt. Yeah. So what you were able to do is
• 29:27
  fight through and build up enough research to say to your mind, I know what I'm talking about. We
• 29:33
  don't need to worry. I'm not going to get laughed at. Right. And that's sort of how you overcame it.
• 29:39
  No, I was going to say one other thing that I think is very interesting. I can't remember who I was
• 29:44
  listening to a podcast. I think it was a, it could have been Scott Galloway. Anyway, it was some
• 29:48
  thought leader. It doesn't matter who it is. But he was saying that one in every 100 times he
• 29:54
  gets on stage because he goes on stage a lot. Whoever this person was, I can't remember. But one
• 29:58
  in every 100 times, he'll get a panic attack. So it'll be like 99 times. He's probably spoken
• 30:04
  a thousand times in his life. Right. So 99 times, he'll be fine. But one in every 100, he'll get a
• 30:08
  panic attack uncontrollable. Cannot stop it when you're about to step in front of the audience.
• 30:13
  Then your heart's going, you get dry mouth. And it's just he has, he had no idea why that happens.
• 30:20
  So that is, I'm assuming your brain for that one in 100 time going to the wrong bit of research.
• 30:27
  Exactly. You pulled up the wrong file. Yeah. I got you. And then that file activates a nervous
• 30:32
  system response. And usually enough, a panic attack is starting up to an hour before. Really?
• 30:39
  Yeah. You just don't feel it to the same thing. You don't feel it. So what I've done, I've got a
• 30:42
  patent on this, we can shut a panic attack down before it ever starts. We're just going to monitor
• 30:49
  right the oxygen. Yeah. Right. So it's a device that you wear and it will alert you that your
• 30:54
  system is starting to do the research, starting to pull files. And then before even before you
• 31:00
  feel it. Yeah. So when I wrote the patent, I said a panic attack is a combination of psychological
• 31:07
  and physical. So the mind psychologically is looking at files. Yeah. But it hasn't got enough
• 31:14
  data yet to say we're in trouble, but it's continuing to look through the files. So what happens
• 31:19
  is it starts to prepare the body right for a potential threat, but you don't feel it yet. So your
• 31:26
  heart rate starts to speed up a little bit. And then what happens is physiologically, your system
• 31:32
  is changing. So oxygen is being used, right? So now your body is sending messages to the brain,
• 31:39
  saying we need more oxygen, which is confirming that we need this, these files must be accurate.
• 31:44
  Yeah. And then it starts to burn oxygen from the muscle groups, changing the pH of the blood.
• 31:49
  Yeah. It's a feedback loop. It's a feedback loop. And it keeps running, but you don't even know
• 31:54
  what's happening. So this is what I wrote in the patent. And I said, so can you imagine what happens
• 32:00
  if we can detect the physiological change? And I thought oxygen is the easiest one, right? We can do
• 32:06
  just like a pulse like similar to you get when you go in the hospital. We just need to show when
• 32:10
  oxygen starts to drop. That means something's happening. So we just alert you. And if you've
• 32:16
  gone through the program, we show you how to turn it off the feedback loop. Very interesting. And
• 32:22
  it never happens. And after I wrote the patent, I found a study other Southern Methodist university
• 32:28
  that had 2000 hours of data on panic attacks. They had a 13 people experience a panic attack during
• 32:35
  the study. All 13 people said the panic attack came on instantly, but they had them all monitored.
• 32:42
  And they said, no, they were all kinds of physical exactly what I said in the patent. So we added
• 32:48
  the study in the patent. I think that's how we got it. I want to go through some of these
• 32:54
  methodologies that you figured out. But I also want to talk to one other sort of performance inhibitor.
• 32:59
  Okay. So we're talking about panic attacks like jumping on stage stage fright. We're talking about
• 33:05
  like how these past traumas run on feedback loops. And that could manifest in a panic attack
• 33:10
  situation. And again, that's a very real problem that people have to solve for because it's not just
• 33:17
  inhibiting. It's almost like blocking. It's not just reducing performance. It's almost
• 33:22
  eliminating performance completely. But I also don't think that's the majority of people that you deal
• 33:27
  with. I think that you normally deal with may not even realize that the performance is not optimal.
• 33:33
  Right. So walk me through that. So help me understand. I have these feedback loops going. I think
• 33:41
  I'm doing fine. I think I'm making money. What is the thing that's not working for me? You know,
• 33:47
  like without naming names, what are some case studies that you've worked on that CEO athlete, whatever
• 33:54
  when I'm a professional athlete, how does trauma stop me from getting to the next level? When I
• 34:00
  when I don't physically feel it, I feel like I'm on top of my game, right? I feel like I've already
• 34:05
  I'm getting paid to play sports, whatever it is, like, or I've, you know, climbed the echelons and
• 34:11
  now I'm CEO or I've built a company. So I think I'm doing okay. But I'm not that last 10% or
• 34:19
  the last 20% I don't know how much percent how you lock it, unlocking people. But there's something
• 34:23
  there. And I want to understand how this trauma impacts even these high performers that are
• 34:28
  by all external factors and external sort of measures doing quite well.
• 34:35
  So let me give you two examples. I think these are want to be a business one will be an athlete.
• 34:39
  I love working with athletes because they measure performance. Yes. Easy to find. Business people aren't
• 34:43
  necessarily measuring. If especially a successful person if they're making really good money,
• 34:48
  they're using that as their measure, but they don't realize they've got another gear. Yeah.
• 34:52
  So I had a gentleman come making about two million dollars a year, trading options,
• 34:58
  derivative stocks. It's pretty successful. Most people would go, what problem could this guy have?
• 35:03
  And what he said to me is he said, here's the issue that I want help with. He said, when the fourth
• 35:08
  quarter comes, he says, I literally shut down. I lose all my motivation. And he said, and I have
• 35:14
  two partners and they're pretty patient with me. He says, but I'm always making excuses about,
• 35:20
  I'm just going to take a week off. I'm going to take a vacation. I'm going to go play golf.
• 35:24
  So I'm always coming up with reasons why I don't want to go in. And he says, I'm always,
• 35:29
  if I do go in, I'm totally stressed out in that this is what I tried as first three quarters.
• 35:34
  He's no problem. No problem. So that he recognizes like, there's something going on. Yep. Yeah.
• 35:38
  And he says, and it's constant. But I don't know why. So we go through and we start looking at,
• 35:45
  you know, his life. And so I said, you know, what was your life like? And he says, well,
• 35:51
  my father is my mentor. He says, brilliant business person, very, very successful. And he says,
• 35:59
  but he did go bankrupt four times. I said, okay. And he goes, I remember we used to fly in private
• 36:05
  jets. He says, and then I'd be walking up in the middle of the night to get in the car and move
• 36:10
  because we're being evicted. And he said, and that happened four times. So what was his mind
• 36:15
  trying to do? Protect them from the most volatile period when stock trading is the fourth quarter.
• 36:23
  And so generally that's when so his mind got to the two million. And it was like, don't risk
• 36:29
  anymore. Stay away. Don't trade. Right. And then he says the, the first quarter we come up for
• 36:36
  the next year. And he's all fired up again. Is it because in his mind, there was less,
• 36:40
  there was less risk associated with first quarter. Yeah. First and first quarter, second quarter,
• 36:44
  third quarter, fourth quarter, seeing to be the one in his mind that was the riskiest. And once
• 36:49
  he's gotten this accumulation, sitting on his gold. And somebody says, you're gonna risk the gold?
• 36:55
  Yeah. No, just store the gold, right? Start again next year. And so after he went through the
• 37:01
  program, he called me on December 15th and said, today was my last day. I am taking the rest
• 37:06
  of the year off, made the best amount of money I've ever made because he could stay in without that.
• 37:12
  Now he's brilliant trader. You know, you have to have the skill doesn't mean just stay in. It's
• 37:17
  not saying this is people that have the skill, but are still sabotaging themselves. And that's
• 37:23
  what they would call it. And I said, you weren't sabotaging yourself. You were protecting what you
• 37:28
  had. And that's the way here. So your mind would try to distract you away from it. Yeah. Don't
• 37:34
  think about work. You know, chain like think about golf. Think about a vacation in the Bahamas.
• 37:40
  I would be trying to do everything it could to persuade him to move away from danger.
• 37:45
  That's not sabotage is preservation. And then what about the athlete? So I got a number of really
• 37:50
  great athlete stories. But the one, this will be a good one when we talk about physical as well.
• 37:57
  So his name is Marco Chacetto. Marco is a double amputee marathon runner from Kenya.
• 38:04
  So he got recruited him in his cousin to the University of Alaska from Kenya. Could you imagine
• 38:10
  the culture shock from Kenya to Alaska? It's a little bit. It's a big, tiny bit of a culture shop.
• 38:16
  Yeah. And so, you know, the sad part about it is his cousin did not acclimate and committed
• 38:21
  suicide. It was also and so Marco was so distraught that he attempted suicide passed out in the
• 38:28
  snow for two days and ended up when he was able to get back. They had to amputate his legs below
• 38:35
  the knees. Now, this is a marathon runner. Oh, my goodness. Okay. So this is I thought he was
• 38:41
  competing in the Paralympic. He's not. He wasn't a runner. Oh, he was able to run a runner.
• 38:46
  A runner before. Yep. Okay. And so that's how we got the scholarships to the University of
• 38:50
  those Kenyan runners are amazing. And so now he's lost both his legs. So they built him prosthetics
• 38:57
  right to start walking again. And then he wanted to run. So they said, we'll build you some blades.
• 39:03
  So they built him those blades. Yeah. You see those guys run on. So he's training and doing
• 39:09
  pretty good. And then they call me the people who make the prosthetics and he said, we think
• 39:14
  Marco has even more potential, but he's plateaued. He's not improving no matter how much training
• 39:20
  we're giving them. We're doing everything. But he seems to have had a plateau. We think it's in
• 39:24
  his mind now. So can you take him through your program and see? So what I talked about with
• 39:30
  Marco is I said, when we have unresolved trauma, it actually affects the mitochondria and the cell.
• 39:36
  The mitochondria have thousands of mitochondria in your cell. That's the power source. Right? It's
• 39:41
  the energy. I remember great six biology. Oh, you do. Okay. Yeah. So it's producing a power. Yeah.
• 39:46
  So when we have this unresolved trauma, it's feeding the loop. Yes. So your mitochondria is affected.
• 39:53
  Yeah. So I take him through the program. Nine days later, he runs in a marathon. It takes 15
• 39:59
  seconds per month. Yeah. That was time. Yep. That's a ridiculous amount. I'm out. I'm out.
• 40:04
  Yep. He runs in a in the Boston marathon. This is in 2019. Runs in the Boston marathon in
• 40:10
  April of 2019, breaks the world record. He's now the world record holder for amputees running
• 40:17
  in marathon. A couple months later, runs in the Chicago marathon, breaks his own world record by
• 40:24
  another five minutes and gets signed by Nike. And what I said to him, I said, Marco, I didn't make
• 40:29
  you faster. You were always that fast. You didn't have access to that power that was running the
• 40:35
  trauma loop was affecting the way you could run. And that's the same thing. That can be psychological.
• 40:41
  It can be for a CEO and executive. It doesn't matter who it is. You know, they get exhausted.
• 40:48
  They're tired. Imagine if you give them more energy and more power to focus and they can focus
• 40:54
  longer and stay in longer. You take somebody like this guy making two million and you give them
• 40:59
  another, you know, 10%. Yeah. Right? He could go to three million. I just want to take a second
• 41:04
  and thank the HubSpot podcast never for supporting success story. We're part of the network. If you
• 41:09
  love podcasts, the HubSpot podcast network has other incredible podcasts like entrepreneurs on
• 41:14
  fire hosted by John Lee Doomass, entrepreneurs on fire is one of the OG entrepreneur podcasts.
• 41:20
  It really stokes inspiration, share strategies to fire up your entrepreneurial journey to create
• 41:25
  the life you've always dreamed of. It has unlimited energy, value and consistency. The podcast is
• 41:31
  truly for anyone who wants to learn more about entrepreneurship. If you like fast paced,
• 41:35
  packed with value stories as shows for you, John brings on great guests. He speaks about failures,
• 41:41
  aha moments, what's working for them currently. If you love podcasts, go listen to entrepreneurs
• 41:46
  on fire wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I'm just thinking like as you describe all these
• 41:51
  different use cases, you describe the stresses, the straighters experiencing Q4, you described,
• 41:59
  you described, you described the the mitochondria, the optimization that this this runner is going,
• 42:05
  this runner needs to sort of take their performance to the next level. If you go through this
• 42:12
  program and you're removing all these traumas, then even if you aren't aware of the certain
• 42:19
  particular thing that you want to optimize, it feels like you're going to optimize it, right?
• 42:24
  Because you're not like you're not necessarily you're not necessarily pin pointing this this
• 42:31
  trauma removal for one particular part of your life. So even that trader, for example, he's trying
• 42:37
  to get over his Q4 stress. Maybe he also has more energy. Yep, absolutely. And maybe he also
• 42:42
  doesn't get sick as often. Yep. All that stuff being affected that trauma from child. So his
• 42:47
  dad is his mentor. So he's thinking, this is positive thinking about my dad, right? I learned
• 42:52
  so much from my dad and he did. But what he also learned is if you take too many risks, you go bankrupt.
• 43:00
  Was his dad trying to hurt him? Yeah. No, that's just life. So in his mind, he was very
• 43:07
  bright. He knew how to make money in trading. But as soon as he got to in his mind, whatever,
• 43:11
  for whatever reason, two million seemed to be his level, right? The two million would then say,
• 43:18
  we're done, right? Sit on the gold. Right. Yeah. Don't move, right? Until we get to the next quarter.
• 43:25
  So, okay, so the the the framework that you put into place, this is this is tip. This is what you've
• 43:31
  created, correct? Yeah. So maybe walk me through like a very simplified explanation of how this
• 43:39
  helps people, how this is resolving trauma, how this like we're moving those feedback loops.
• 43:44
  So what does this, what does it stand for? What's the acronym? It is the inspired performance program.
• 43:47
  Oh, okay. Well, the reason we liked it is because we talk about we want to get you to the tip.
• 43:52
  Okay, I got to the peak of your performance. Gotcha. Okay. And that's really sort of and
• 43:58
  for everybody. Let me just extend one more thing to before we move on. Even if you don't know
• 44:04
  it's changed, it's changed. And I'll give you an example. We have a guy that has rehab centers.
• 44:11
  And he wanted to go through he wanted to look at the program so we could see if he wants to put it
• 44:16
  in to the rehab centers. So he says, can I just sort of go through the program to take a look at
• 44:21
  he says, I don't really have any trauma. You know, he says, I used to be, you know, an addict. He says,
• 44:26
  but I went through all my trauma. So he's thinking he's fine. And so we take him through. We have
• 44:32
  one of our people take him through the facilitated program. And two weeks later, I get a Google map
• 44:40
  from him, right, with a picture of a golf and country club that and just the map of that with a
• 44:47
  red line going through it. I'm like, what did he send me this for? And so then he calls me about
• 44:52
  an hour later. And he said, you get the map I sent you. And I said, yeah, what was that for? He
• 44:57
  says, that's the route I run every day. He says, I take that route and I run that route or on the
• 45:02
  golf course. And he says, and I was doing it last night with my girlfriend. And she got mad at me.
• 45:07
  And she says, why are you running so fast? Slow down. And he goes, I'm not running fast. I'm running.
• 45:14
  She goes, no, you're trying to run me. And he says, we got into an argument. I said, I'm not trying
• 45:18
  to do anything. He says, I went back and I started to look at my training. I was making personal
• 45:26
  best and didn't even know it. That's how his mind is adjusted. So even without knowing he was
• 45:32
  improving, and it wasn't until she said, why are you running faster? Yeah. Right. He just improved.
• 45:40
  And so talk about talk about tip talk about the actual program, how you deploy it. But also maybe
• 45:47
  contrast it to traditional therapy. Okay. I think that's interesting because I think a lot of
• 45:52
  people the way they would solve for a lot of these experiences right now would be traditional therapy
• 45:56
  because I know that you condense a lot of this into a four hour window. That's your ideal
• 46:02
  optimal setup. Why is four hour window important? What do you do in that four hour window versus
• 46:10
  therapy, which is an hour per week. I would assume for a week per month. Yeah. Whatever. Yep.
• 46:18
  So let's walk through the actual program. So people understand why it's structured the way it is.
• 46:23
  I know there's a lot of thought behind the four hour window science. Yeah. Let's go into it.
• 46:28
  So that was really what I did is I looked at it and I said, okay, if somebody comes in and they say
• 46:34
  to me, I have anxiety. I say, that's the symptom of the problem. Why not look at what caused this
• 46:42
  anxiety? There's a something that happened. There's a root cause to it. So if we get to the root
• 46:47
  cause, you won't have anxiety. Anxiety is just a symptom. But they treat the symptom in traditional,
• 46:53
  like, oh, we're going to treat your anxiety by giving you anti anxiety medications. So they're
• 46:58
  trying to chemically change the brain. And remember, I talked about the trauma loop. So our minds
• 47:05
  are constantly to make it simple, doing Google searches all the time, pulling up files. What do we
• 47:10
  know about this experience? What the medication is doing is blocking the Google search. It's not
• 47:16
  fixing the problem. So the problem is still there, but you're sort of numbed out. And so, and then
• 47:22
  traditional talk therapy, which I'm not saying is bad, traditional talk therapy will want to say,
• 47:28
  what do you, how does it make you feel? What do you think about? Well, I think you keep reinforcing
• 47:33
  it. And then you're only in there for an hour. So if you're in there for an hour, chances are,
• 47:39
  you're going to be in a high beta brainwave state because you're coming in to talk about,
• 47:43
  let's take us to the other rehab, all the memories, all the memories. So they're in high beta,
• 47:48
  talking to the therapist about a high beta event. And so how much work are you going to get done
• 47:56
  if you're in the same state that you experienced the event in? Not a lot. Maybe a little bit.
• 48:01
  That's why traditional therapy takes a long time because you're sort of getting little pieces
• 48:06
  trying to get that done. What I do, and the reason I use four hours is in the first two hours,
• 48:13
  it's almost what we're doing here. It's education and science. I tell you how I developed it.
• 48:18
  The first thing I say to everybody when they come in, there's nothing wrong with you,
• 48:22
  and there's nothing wrong with your mind. Your mind is doing exactly what it's supposed to do,
• 48:26
  is protect you. It's dealing with some glitches and error messages. So think of the brain,
• 48:32
  the physical brain, as the computer. The mind is the software. If I drop the computer, the computer's
• 48:40
  going to get damaged. If I hit my brain, I'm going to get a concussion. I'm going to get a damage.
• 48:45
  Software is prone to glitches and error messages. Of course. And you get a virus. Yeah.
• 48:50
  So what do we do when we have a glitch in software? We reboot the software. We recode the
• 48:55
  software. We don't try to throw the software out or say we got bad software. All we have to do
• 49:01
  is reset it. So I always talk about a few. Every time you hit the M key on your computer,
• 49:06
  your computer shut off. So if you took your computer to your computer therapist, your computer
• 49:12
  therapist would say, don't touch the M key. Stay away from words with M's in them. What's wrong
• 49:18
  with you? It's going to activate. They'll say trigger. I never use the word trigger. I say
• 49:22
  activate. Why not? I thought it sounded negative and violent. So when people come in and say,
• 49:27
  oh, this triggers me. And I'm saying, that's sound. The first thing I think of is a gun and somebody
• 49:32
  firing. And so what I say is try to remove the gun analogies from a mental health. Yeah.
• 49:38
  Not a bad idea. I say it's activating your nervous system. Why would it activate it because it
• 49:44
  perceives a threat? So it's supposed to do that. That's why I say there's nothing wrong with you.
• 49:51
  If you have, if a lion shows up here, we're supposed to get activated, right? But if we think
• 49:57
  about a lion, we're not supposed to be activated. Why would we get activated if we thought about
• 50:02
  a lion? Because we got attacked by a lion. And the mind starts looking at the resource. What do we
• 50:07
  know about lions? And then it starts to see the old information in real time. And that's the movie
• 50:15
  analogy I was talking about. Your mind thinks something's happening. So if your mind thought something
• 50:19
  was happening, doesn't it make sense? It would activate or has to. So there's nothing wrong with you.
• 50:25
  But they'll tell you anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or something wrong. You've got a mental
• 50:32
  health issue. No. Your system is doing exactly what it's designed to do. It's reading old
• 50:39
  information to the way that the way that you structure the, and then you actually set up like,
• 50:44
  so I know the way that you help people and the way that you work with people, there's sort of
• 50:48
  two different formats. You have like a personal four hour session, which is like the highest touch.
• 50:53
  But then you can also do this in groups or online to a degree as well. So you've developed systems
• 51:00
  for both, but obviously all based on the same fundamental. It's exactly the same program. So
• 51:05
  if you come and see me one on one, I take you through the program. You know, people say,
• 51:10
  what's the difference between that and the digital version, like just watching through the digital
• 51:14
  lock on your own? I said, it's a book in the movie. Yeah. If you read the book and then watch the
• 51:19
  movie, you'd go, ah, the book was a lot better because I got a lot more out of the book. But if you
• 51:24
  just watch the movie, the movie works, it takes you through the same thing. It's just not me
• 51:29
  telling you personally, but it's me doing the exact same thing, but just on video. Is there,
• 51:35
  is this something like this, this process? Is this something that would be healthy to do periodically?
• 51:42
  You can refresh, but once we get the bulk of the work done, unless there's new stuff coming up.
• 51:48
  Yeah. Chances are you wouldn't really need to do it. Plus we've given you the tools, right,
• 51:52
  that you could continue to use. Is there an even going forward? Is there a way to like harden
• 52:00
  yourself so that you don't have some of these things in print on you? Or is that a very difficult
• 52:04
  thing to do? Well, trauma is going to affect us no matter what. Yeah. So, but here's the advantage.
• 52:09
  If you have old trauma, think of it, you're carrying around 150 pound back back. Yeah. Right? And
• 52:16
  then somebody goes, here's another 10 pounds. That just can bring you to your knee. Yeah.
• 52:22
  But if you get the 150 pound back pack off you and another 10 pounds comes at you, right? You've
• 52:27
  got a lot more resilience now. You'll be able to probably work through it. So that's the biggest
• 52:33
  problem. So many people come through and they have all of this childhood trauma and then they get
• 52:39
  hit as an adult again. And then all of a sudden they're just taken down and people say, oh, I guess
• 52:45
  that event. So I worked with a person from the Boston Marathon. I worked with a few of them,
• 52:50
  Boston Marathon bombing. And what she said to me, she goes, I thought I came in here because of
• 52:56
  the Boston Marathon bombing. She goes, that's obviously the big one. She's, I'm a post-traumatic
• 53:00
  stress. I'm having terror nightmares. She says, my childhood trauma had no idea. Was that
• 53:06
  impactful on me? She goes, I got more out of the childhood trauma than I did out of the Boston
• 53:12
  Marathon bombing trauma, right? It was more impactful for me. So the Boston Marathon is
• 53:20
  another 50 pounds just packed onto her 150 pounds that she'd been carrying, right? So once we got
• 53:27
  the 150 pounds off, right? It was easier to deal, not easier. I mean, it's going to be a lot
• 53:34
  simpler to deal with that 50 pound Boston Marathon. So she came in with a whole bunch of other trauma.
• 53:40
  And then that one happens, then all of a sudden the system, it's an overwhelm. But even if,
• 53:45
  even if you don't remember everything that happened to you, the way that you structured this,
• 53:49
  and like, I'm not, I'm not well-versed in therapy. So I'm sure that traditional therapy
• 53:53
  tries to get into this as well. But the system that you've structured, it can pull out things that
• 53:58
  you weren't really conscious of, yeah, even aware of. So to go back to the four hours. So the first
• 54:04
  two hours, I haven't, I don't ask you a thing about trauma. Yeah, I just educate you and say,
• 54:10
  here's how your brain works. Here's how the brain waves work, beta alpha theta delta. Here's how
• 54:15
  the mind is going to process, right? So you get all the science. And that's actually so helpful
• 54:22
  because what I hear constantly is, it's like, click, click, like, yeah, you're connecting all,
• 54:27
  now I'm getting it. Of course, this would happen to me. How could it not happen to me? And so if,
• 54:33
  you know, people come in and they say, I have this and this and this and I go, well, there's a reason
• 54:38
  why I never had your life experience. If I had had your life experience, I'd be right where you are.
• 54:44
  I'm not especially unique, right? I just had a special unique childhood, right? That allowed me
• 54:49
  to do that. Then the next hour, we're going to get into some specific events. So I'm looking for
• 54:56
  basically three events. So I'll say, can you tell me about three different events that you had,
• 55:02
  but I'm looking for if that event was made into a movie, I'm looking for the movie trailer.
• 55:08
  Okay. I want the minute, two minute recap of it, right? So I'm not looking and I don't need you to
• 55:13
  talk about it. I don't even need you to tell me about it. I can actually get your mind to clear
• 55:18
  it without knowing one word. And real people say, I don't have to talk about it. So that's how when I
• 55:23
  do the groups, yeah, I could have 25 people in a room all going through their own personal trauma
• 55:31
  and nobody's sharing it. The techniques I take them through does the clearing because they're
• 55:35
  discovering it in their own head and their own head. They're seeing it. What, how does it help
• 55:40
  them for me to know that? It doesn't know. There's only curiosity on my part because their mind is
• 55:47
  going to fix it, right? I'm not fixing it. Their own system is fixing it. So if you came in with a
• 55:53
  broken leg and we reset your leg, how much credit should I get for that healing? I just reset it,
• 56:00
  but the body did its own thing. It's the same thing with this. I don't take the credit. Your mind
• 56:06
  is going to do it. The reason it hasn't been able to do it is because you didn't understand
• 56:10
  why it was doing it. Once I educate you, you can see how this could work. It's so simple.
• 56:17
  You don't need to live and manage and cope with it. Fix it. So it all makes a lot of sense.
• 56:22
  There's probably a lot this broken with the traditional way of fixing things. I feel like a lot of
• 56:28
  people are not going to like you that much. That's okay. Well, we get two two camps. Some people
• 56:33
  that go, that's nonsense. You can't do it that fast, but we got the evidence, right? Well,
• 56:38
  it's actually how we connected because somebody's doing the study studies. Yeah, we're going to
• 56:42
  publish the study. Yeah. So I had, it was a good example. I had one lady, a therapist who saw the
• 56:50
  kind of work I was doing. She was referring, she referred me the ones that she knew would take her
• 56:55
  a long time. So she says, I've got a lady that you, I think you're going to be the only one that
• 57:00
  can help her. Can you, can she come and see you? Can you get her right? She had a 60s lady,
• 57:06
  had a home invasion, got pistol whipped, having panic attacks can't even get out of her house.
• 57:12
  And she says, like, if we can get her to you, can you see her right away? So I said, okay.
• 57:18
  So she comes in and as soon as she walks in the door, actually, was my wife that was, was there
• 57:23
  that day? And she just breaks down crying. She's sobbing and she's walking with a walker.
• 57:31
  And so she comes in, I take her through the whole program and it was like life changing for her.
• 57:38
  And so this was on a Tuesday. She goes back to see the therapist on her therapist on Friday.
• 57:46
  And her therapist calls me after the session, right? And so she says, I just saw her and I said,
• 57:53
  I said, she's doing pretty good, right? She goes, oh, yeah. She's doing pretty good. She goes, I
• 57:57
  knew it would, right? She says, but when she came in to my office, she says, I have good news and bad
• 58:04
  news. And so the therapist, she goes, well, the good news is you're not walking with a walker.
• 58:09
  She goes, no, I don't need the walker. She goes, the bad news is you're fired.
• 58:15
  Call me back. And she says, but I was happy for her. But that should be the way that the, the,
• 58:21
  the health and wellness and medical system works. Yep. But it's, it's not how the system works.
• 58:26
  No, but this therapist was thrilled. Yeah. She was a true caring person. And she knew that this
• 58:32
  was the fastest way to get her there. Are there types of trauma that this process or the system
• 58:38
  does not solve for fix or help? I really haven't found anything. The only time we have any kind of
• 58:45
  like that. Oh, I deal with that all the time. Yeah. Okay. Sexual abuse and rape, right?
• 58:51
  Especially childhood sexual abuse is the number one pandemic in this world.
• 58:57
  They're not talking enough about it. I see it all the time. And it's frightening how big it is.
• 59:04
  It happened to my wife. It happened to my daughter. It's prevalent. It's like that prevalent.
• 59:09
  That's unbelievable. Just look at the sex trafficking now. Yeah. This going on in this world.
• 59:15
  You know, you really don't think about it. You just hear, oh, you know, these children are being
• 59:19
  sold into sex slavery. Millions. Which you can't even compute because, again, we both grew up in
• 59:25
  great homes and environments. And I mean, maybe, maybe nobody who I knew spoke about it. But this
• 59:33
  was not a thing that was in my world growing up. Like there was no sexual abuse, no, like nothing.
• 59:38
  Yeah. So just didn't hear about it. Like about me. I didn't hear about it. So then you start to
• 59:43
  get sort of exposed to what you look at numbers. And it's it's disgusting. It's not. You actually
• 59:49
  support a charity that finds women that have been lost or kidnapped. There was a charity that
• 59:55
  even. Yeah. Yeah. So we would do that to help find missing children. But we also work with a number
• 1:00:00
  of different charities work with the Green Bray Foundation, you know, to help veterans.
• 1:00:05
  But the sexual abuse is staggering numbers. I didn't know that two teachers at our schools
• 1:00:11
  were sexually abusing kids, two principals. The guy ran a little league for 35 years. This all
• 1:00:17
  came out after I was an adult. Yeah. None of my friends told me they were being sexually abused.
• 1:00:22
  But a lot of them were. And nobody talks about it. And now I look, when I look back on it, I'll
• 1:00:29
  give you a great example. This is an elementary school. The, I'd, I'd, I don't know if you were,
• 1:00:35
  because you're younger. But did they have the strap when you were still? No. They had the strap. So
• 1:00:39
  I was a kid. So that was my, my, my dad. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So in Canada, I don't know where else they
• 1:00:46
  do it. But it is red binder. Yeah. Right. And there was a leather strap in it about a 12-inch leather
• 1:00:52
  strap. And if you did something wrong, you would have to hold your hand out and then strap it. Yeah.
• 1:00:57
  Right. Depending on how many times. So that was common. I never got the strap. I never did
• 1:01:02
  wrong. And so the principal comes in to our classroom during the class. And he's furious. He's,
• 1:01:10
  he's looked so mad. And there was a young girl called Elizabeth, right? Who was his bookwormy smart
• 1:01:17
  kid quiet, right? And if you put a list together of the people that who would get the strap,
• 1:01:24
  she would be on the bottom of the list. He walks in, makes her stand out, put her hand out,
• 1:01:30
  she's sobbing and crying. He's taking it, and he's whipping. And, and on my mind, I'm like,
• 1:01:37
  what could this girl have possibly done to get that? I made no sense to me. Now I know. He was
• 1:01:45
  abusing her. And I'm sure this was his intimidation. Or so she didn't do anything to reserve this at
• 1:01:51
  all. He's not going to tell because right. This is so you don't know, right? Elizabeth, I'd
• 1:01:56
  buy me out there regardless. She did anything to deserve it. I'm sure she didn't, but he is,
• 1:02:01
  this is her, this is his tactic. His tactic. So maybe there are other kids now in that classroom,
• 1:02:06
  too, these abusing. And then he shows them, this is what's going to happen to you. Now, if you're a
• 1:02:10
  kid, you know, you're ends with nine year old, 10 year old kid, then you see the principal come in
• 1:02:16
  and strap somebody else, right? And especially her because you're saying, I can't imagine anything
• 1:02:24
  as she could have done. Like, there's some people in this room that I could say, yeah, I think,
• 1:02:28
  I think you missed this guy, right? Not that I believe this job was a good thing anyway. But
• 1:02:33
  those those were the kinds of things that were going on, but nobody would talk about. And so,
• 1:02:42
  so my wife dealt with it, right? And before we got married, right? So she said to me, before we
• 1:02:50
  get married, right? I want to share something with you because if that changes your mind and you
• 1:02:55
  don't want to marry me, I'll understand. And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, this must be big, right?
• 1:03:01
  What is it you want to share with me? And she shared with me that this has happened to her as a child.
• 1:03:06
  And I said, okay, and she goes, does that change how you feel about me? And I went, no,
• 1:03:11
  like you're a child. She goes, okay, she says, now you have to promise me something. You'll never
• 1:03:17
  tell anybody what I shared with you. And I'm like, why? Right? Because in my mind, I'm like,
• 1:03:23
  you did nothing wrong. Why why you feel the shame yet? Yeah. Why you feeling shame and guilt about
• 1:03:29
  it, right? But that's what the perpetrators do. They get them to feel shame and guilt. You know,
• 1:03:35
  what would happen if your mother found out that you did what you just did, right? They're never
• 1:03:41
  going to, how could they possibly love a child that would do something like that? And they did
• 1:03:46
  it to them, right? That's the kind of stuff they do to these children. And that's why they don't
• 1:03:50
  talk about it. And so then they hide it and conceal it. And what does it do? It shows up in their
• 1:03:57
  health. It's a huge health problem in this country. And it leads to addiction, it leads to all kinds
• 1:04:03
  of health problems. I actually want to touch on that. So you mentioned addiction before. And you
• 1:04:07
  mentioned that this process can actually help with addiction. So you define addiction a different
• 1:04:14
  way than many people. How do you define addiction? They'll call addiction a disease. And I get
• 1:04:19
  why they did that because they want to get into the health field. So it becomes a health problem
• 1:04:24
  as opposed to a morals problem. But at the same time, even though they call it a disease, they still
• 1:04:30
  treat it as if it's some sort of a character flaw, right? Why would you take drugs? What's wrong
• 1:04:36
  with you? Right? You're broken and defeated. And so, and I know AA and NA, right, are helpful for
• 1:04:43
  a lot of people. So I'm respectful of what their mission is. But I don't believe that you should
• 1:04:48
  make people stand up in front of a room every day and say, I'm broken and defeated. I'm a
• 1:04:53
  debt. I'm an addict. I said, because I believe that addiction is coming from pain. And so in chances
• 1:05:00
  are it's emotional pain created by trauma. So that trauma loop is running in the background. They
• 1:05:07
  can't stop it. And so they're just feeling this constant pain. So when they take the drug or they
• 1:05:12
  take the alcohol or whatever it is, they numb it. So that's what they were trying to do is numb the
• 1:05:18
  pain. But remember I talked about earlier, think of rep repetition as research. They repeat it. So
• 1:05:25
  what are they teaching the brain? That's my solution to my pain. That's a code, just like a computer
• 1:05:32
  codes. And so now they tried to use the logical part of the brain to say, I shouldn't do it. But the
• 1:05:39
  survival brain will always override reason and logic every single time. So now they can't get out
• 1:05:45
  of it because the survival brain is saying, you're going to take away my supply of pain relief.
• 1:05:53
  And no alternative to it. Not a chance. Right. So it will continue the code. Then
• 1:06:01
  they'll try to do the M key. They don't touch the M key. Right. We're going to try to retrain
• 1:06:06
  your brain. But if you never fixed the original thing that caused the pain, then you've never
• 1:06:12
  resolved the problem. And that's why they stay in an attic. What I do is get to the original source
• 1:06:18
  of the pain, which is the trauma, get that out of the way, and then recode it. So then we take
• 1:06:25
  them through a series of processes for the next 60 days to start recoding and changing the way
• 1:06:32
  the brain looks at that old code. How does that affect the biological response to
• 1:06:40
  removing the substance or whatever the addiction is? We get people out of addiction without having
• 1:06:49
  any kind of fall back. And so like what about like the withdrawal? So the withdrawal. So
• 1:07:01
  withdrawal, what I say, people say, I'm going to go into a draw. And I say, well, tell me what
• 1:07:06
  withdrawal is. Well, withdrawal is if I don't take it, I feel immense pain. Right. And so
• 1:07:14
  and I said, it's physical. It's physical. Physically. Yeah. Right. I said, where's that coming
• 1:07:19
  from? Well, the body's craving the substance. I said, tell me how the body craves the substance.
• 1:07:25
  What's the science behind that? Of course, the body never was built to crave heroin.
• 1:07:31
  It's a foreign substance. It's foreign. It can't crave something that doesn't regulate. I said,
• 1:07:35
  if the body could crave anything, what's the number one resource for the human body? Water.
• 1:07:41
  Have you ever met a water hauler? No, of course. Have you ever seen a water rehab center?
• 1:07:46
  We're all pretty much dehydrated, all the time. Right. But we're not diving into the lakes to try
• 1:07:51
  to suck up the water supply. It's the mind. The mind feels like it's going to die if it doesn't
• 1:07:58
  get that resource. So we'll create physical pain to make you go get it. But if you resolve the
• 1:08:05
  pain issue, right, the withdrawal shouldn't be there. And so we get a lot of people out of it
• 1:08:11
  without withdrawal. That's why that's phenomenal. That's wild. Yeah, absolutely wild. And so,
• 1:08:16
  but they're so petrified to go through without having no doubt because they see what withdrawal
• 1:08:21
  looks like on and they've experienced it and they've experienced themselves too. But it's the
• 1:08:25
  mind that's creating it. So if you can resolve the problem in the mind, so a lot of people think
• 1:08:31
  that it's a high they're trying to get. So a lot of people say, oh, it's a dopamine hit that
• 1:08:36
  they're going for. And I say, I don't believe it's a dopamine hit that they're going for. Do they
• 1:08:42
  get a dopamine hit? Yes. So the way I explained it is, Scott, if I was here and I shook your hand,
• 1:08:48
  right, and I started squeezing it so hard, right, that it was hurting really bad to the point that
• 1:08:55
  you like down on one knee, like, ow, like this is hurting. And I say, just take a drink of this.
• 1:09:01
  And I'll let go. And so you take a drink and I let go. What do you feel better? Yeah, you get the
• 1:09:07
  dopamine hit. But is that why you did it? No, you did it to stop the pain. You got the dopamine
• 1:09:14
  hit and everybody sees the high they get on and think, oh, they're just trying to get high. No,
• 1:09:19
  they're trying to stop the pain. Fascinating. What are some, I would say some just some final lessons
• 1:09:27
  or words of wisdom for people that pick people that have gone through trauma that are just trying
• 1:09:35
  to understand like how to start solving these items, like obviously going through the work that
• 1:09:40
  you do, the performance institute is very important as well. But I would have just some like some
• 1:09:44
  initial steps. If somebody's like struggling right now in the moment, and they just want to start
• 1:09:50
  to move in the right direction. Well, the big thing is to do things is to move. So for example,
• 1:09:56
  physically, like physically, yeah, okay. So a lot of people who are in depression, one of the things
• 1:10:02
  that even traditional therapy will do this for them, start doing something, start moving because
• 1:10:07
  depression, right, is coming in and set in. But I have an interesting approach to even depression.
• 1:10:13
  I say depression is a function of the brain, not a dysfunction. They treat it as a dysfunction.
• 1:10:19
  And here's what I mean by a fun. Everything's a 180 for you from the cold life.
• 1:10:23
  Totally. Right. And so I say, if your mind has been looping through this trauma,
• 1:10:30
  trying to get you into an action, do something about it, right? But you can't do anything about it
• 1:10:35
  because it doesn't exist. But your mind keeps calling you into an action that's impossible to do.
• 1:10:42
  So it'll use an emotion, right? Like anger, this person hurt you. They attack you. So if your
• 1:10:48
  mind keeps looking through that and says, Scott, fight back. Don't let this person hurt you. But it's
• 1:10:54
  already over. But your mind doesn't know that because it keeps calling you for the action.
• 1:11:00
  So how does your mind protect you? It stops calling for the action and shuts down. Depression's
• 1:11:06
  the absence of emotions. And so that because the emotion hasn't worked. So to protect you,
• 1:11:13
  it shuts down so you don't feel that pain. That's a function of the brain.
• 1:11:19
  Same thing with ADHD. So ADHD, people will say, oh, you know, I have ADHD. Now I'll ask them,
• 1:11:27
  did you grow up in a very stressful home as a child? Oh, yeah, I've homeless filled with stress.
• 1:11:32
  Whether it was intentional or not, you just have two professionals that are just so focused on
• 1:11:37
  their career, they're just not paying attention to their kid and they're fighting all the time.
• 1:11:41
  So you and I as adults, if we get into a disagreement, you have two options. You could fight with me
• 1:11:47
  or you can walk away. You have fight or flight options. What does a child have? Neither,
• 1:11:53
  nothing. They can't fight. They can't run away. So how do they protect themselves?
• 1:11:59
  Tune everything out. Shut down. Stop focusing. Interesting. So they don't feel the pain.
• 1:12:05
  So that's a coping mechanism that they had learned to protect.
• 1:12:10
  Automatically into that. Yeah. Now you stick them into a school and you say, focus on that person
• 1:12:16
  at the front of the school, at the front of the class. Well, they've trained their brain for
• 1:12:21
  seven years to do the opposite. And so now all of a sudden, they're like, oh, this kid's got a
• 1:12:26
  problem. He can't focus. He can't pay attention. He's disruptive. Right? All you have to do is retrain him.
• 1:12:32
  Right? Get this thing to give out or all or put it on speed. They're riddled in there.
• 1:12:37
  Right? To make him focus. Yeah. Yeah. But that wasn't the way to fix the problem.
• 1:12:42
  I get why they want to do it. Right? Because retraining that child's brain and you've got
• 1:12:48
  30 kids in a class, right? And you've got to individually focus on 10 of those kids that have
• 1:12:54
  that problem. You can't do it. Not in the traditional system. One of the most interesting stories
• 1:13:00
  that you brought up, again, before we recorded it, I was doing some research, was you said there's
• 1:13:05
  never been a case of a schizophrenic that was born blind, which I find fascinating. So you start
• 1:13:12
  to go through all these examples and you realize that a lot of these, these, call them conditions,
• 1:13:18
  but they're just you training yourself a certain way to, to an extreme degree, based on your
• 1:13:25
  external stimuli input. Yeah. And it's all coming from memory. It's the way we store the
• 1:13:30
  memory. And that's why I shared that with you. And I said, if it's coming from memory, right?
• 1:13:36
  Visual memory, right? And schizophrenia, which is the most extreme form, right, of trauma response.
• 1:13:44
  There's never been a schizophrenic that was born blind. They never recorded it. So they can't
• 1:13:51
  get to the extreme of the trauma response. I just found these little research things as I was going
• 1:13:57
  along. And I was like, they just kept falling into my lap, which kept confirming to me that I was
• 1:14:02
  on the right track, that if we can get to that visual memory, right? And reset it. We solved the
• 1:14:09
  problem. Why is, why is traditional sort of response to these traumas so different from
• 1:14:18
  outside of fueling, you know, capitalism and people wanting to make money? Why hasn't this ever
• 1:14:24
  been sort of like the de facto line of thinking or treatment? I think it's traditional. They just
• 1:14:31
  continue to follow the same. It's like school, right? So they just continue to print the same
• 1:14:36
  books and bring them into the school. So it's not that these people aren't smart. I'm smarter than
• 1:14:41
  them. It's just I came in to save my daughter. And I was an entrepreneur. So if you want to solve
• 1:14:48
  a problem, bring in an entrepreneur to solve a problem, right? So I saw things completely different.
• 1:14:54
  Because I'm looking at things going, I don't think that's right. How did they come up with that
• 1:14:58
  conclusion, right? Well, they came up with that conclusion because the person before them came
• 1:15:03
  up with that conclusion, right? And the person before them, a person before them. So a lot of this
• 1:15:08
  stuff is still entrenched in old traditional thinking. And so, and if nobody's really looking to
• 1:15:15
  change it, and if you go in and try to change the system, if I had gone in to get my degree and
• 1:15:20
  said, no, I think you're doing it all wrong. I would have been kicked out. Do you get a lot of
• 1:15:26
  pushback from professionals now with the work you did? No, you'd be so I say 50, 50. Yeah,
• 1:15:33
  some people would say, ah, that's impossible. You can't clear panic attacks and hours.
• 1:15:38
  Well, okay, talked to all the people we did it for, right? Amazing. Yep.
• 1:15:42
  If somebody's listening to this, they want to find out if tip is is right for them.
• 1:15:48
  What's the sort of the checklist they have to go through in their own life? Well, first,
• 1:15:52
  you know, make sure that you're dealing with the trauma says the best way is are you having
• 1:15:56
  emotional experiences when you think about things that have happened? That's the best way to
• 1:16:02
  check in, right? And so you may be high functioning and dealing with it okay. And so if it's not
• 1:16:08
  bothering you and you can continue to operate, then that's fine. It's not the wrong. If you say I
• 1:16:14
  want to get to on a performance level, I want to get to that next level, I can tell you if you don't
• 1:16:20
  get that done, it's going to interfere with you getting to that next level. So it's really comes
• 1:16:25
  out to a personal choice. How are you dealing with it? And would you like to feel better?
• 1:16:32
  Where do people go? So you've written four books now. Correct. Okay. Yep. So what was the most
• 1:16:36
  recent book? Don't mess with my DNA. That's right. Okay. Yeah. So what were the, just name them
• 1:16:41
  also people and if they want to like go get more of your work, where should they go? What books
• 1:16:44
  do they look for or the website, social, all that? Sure. So the very first book I wrote, I called it,
• 1:16:50
  you must be out of your mind. Yeah. And I talk about how I developed the program. And I said,
• 1:16:54
  we got to get you out of that mind. Right. The second one I wrote was emotional concussions.
• 1:17:00
  The third one I wrote is golf oriented. I called it the 15th club. Because if you're, you're a
• 1:17:05
  golfer. Yeah. I mean, I played hockey. Sorry. Okay. The fact I had this. So you get off in the
• 1:17:12
  so the 15th club where you can only have 14 clubs in a bag. The 15th club is the brain. I got
• 1:17:17
  so the cover on it is a golf club. Right. But the shaft or the shaft and at the end of the
• 1:17:22
  shaft is the brain. Gotcha. Right. And that talks about how you can, you know, work on your golf
• 1:17:27
  games. I work with professional golfers too. And then the fourth one is don't mess with my DNA.
• 1:17:32
  And I'm talking about how the DNA is is affected. The gene expression is affected the epigenetics.
• 1:17:38
  By the way, can that get passed on to your children? Oh, 100%. Yep. And so that'll pass on. Now will it
• 1:17:44
  activate? So it depends if they have trauma. But the the transgenerational effect of trauma
• 1:17:51
  continues to be passed on encoded into your DNA. So what I talk about the good news is it's not
• 1:17:59
  permanent. Right. Even the way the DNA is being read and transcribed the gene expression when we
• 1:18:05
  resolve trauma, the neuroplasticity gene start expressing higher. The immune system starts and
• 1:18:11
  the inflammation comes down. So all of it's fixable. If as long as you come up with the right
• 1:18:16
  approach and take it out of the loop, that's what we're doing. It's fascinating. No, I just find
• 1:18:23
  it very interesting. All this is very interesting. Like I want to go through this program myself.
• 1:18:27
  And I'm like, I'm sold on it. But like the fact that I mean, even if in your own life,
• 1:18:35
  you don't feel like there's been anything traumatic and there always has been an ever was life,
• 1:18:39
  but regardless, like now you think about all the different things that have happened in your
• 1:18:43
  parents and your grandparents and great grandparents and so on and so forth. That has been passed
• 1:18:46
  down and encoded into your DNA that could manifest at any point. And when you go through this
• 1:18:54
  program or saying neuroplasticity increases, how does that recode your actual DNA?
• 1:19:01
  So it doesn't necessarily recode it, but it stops the expression. So if you have trauma,
• 1:19:07
  right? Like I said, the inflammation is going to go on. So it's the way it's reading it and
• 1:19:12
  transcribing it. So the mind is then going to see it differently. It's not going to see a threat.
• 1:19:18
  So it's going to change the gene expression. Okay. I understand. Okay. Got you. Yep. Okay. So we have
• 1:19:24
  four books. Where can people go to connect with you on social website if they want to actually
• 1:19:30
  participate? So the best place is our website, which is the inspired performance institute.com. And
• 1:19:36
  this got all our Facebook, Twitter, all that stuff on there. And just and you can call in if you
• 1:19:42
  just want to find out more, right? No obligation. You can call in and talk to a tip advisor who will
• 1:19:48
  take you through and see whether or not it works. It would work for you. Okay. Right? And so whether you
• 1:19:53
  want to do the digital program, a one-on-one with me, you know, whatever way you want to do it.
• 1:20:00
  And then just like some final like words of wisdom for the audience for we close out,
• 1:20:04
  you know, you've had a great career, obviously multiple, multiple seasons to your career.
• 1:20:10
  When you look back, what would be sort of a word of wisdom that you tell your younger self?
• 1:20:16
  The best advice I got was when it was from tennis because tennis was my second sport. I know.
• 1:20:22
  And the pro who taught me said to me, you really want to be a great tennis player, right? And I said,
• 1:20:28
  yeah, he goes, he looks around to make sure no one's listening. He says, I'm going to tell you
• 1:20:32
  the secret. And I'm 13. So I think there's a secret. And he said to me, lose a lot.
• 1:20:38
  And I said, I don't understand. And he goes, you're playing in the 13, 14-year-old division. Start
• 1:20:43
  playing in some 15, 16, 17, 18-year-old divisions. That game is faster and they're stronger,
• 1:20:49
  but you're a good athlete. If you see it enough, you're going to adapt to it and you'll be able to
• 1:20:55
  handle it. It won't look as fast, right? This is, but until you see it, you can't make that
• 1:21:00
  adaption. But in order to do that, you're going to have to lose a lot. So get your ego out of the
• 1:21:05
  way. And if you want to improve, what a great lesson for life, a very good lesson for life, right?
• 1:21:11
  Don't be afraid to lose. And that's what I talk about in the emotional concussions book. I have
• 1:21:15
  10 examples. It was really written for the business person. If you are experiencing any one of
• 1:21:20
  these 10 things, procrastinating, blaming everybody else, always staying out of your lane,
• 1:21:26
  getting out of your lane all the time. Those are all coming from emotional concussions.
• 1:21:31
  And so that was, and then blaming people when things go wrong, right? And that's coming from
• 1:21:37
  maybe being criticized all the time when you lost, right? I've seen parents who will just
• 1:21:45
  absolutely try to destroy a child because they struck out or they had a bad, yeah, I've seen it.
• 1:21:51
  Wow. Some parents in the stands playing hockey, some of them are a little drunk,
• 1:21:58
  smother assholes, yeah, some of them are assholes. I coached my older son's team for five years and
• 1:22:04
  we had a kid on there. They would love this kid. He was such a great kid. But his dad just totally
• 1:22:11
  controlled him. And you know, I'm the idiot. I'm the coach, right? I don't know what I'm talking
• 1:22:15
  about. Listen to every time you strike out, he looks straight up in the audience of his dad and his
• 1:22:20
  dad would be furious. trauma. Oh, unbelievable. Yeah. And so finally, it was, we did everything,
• 1:22:26
  all the other players, you know, were really kind to him and tried to, you know, how was everybody
• 1:22:30
  sort of understood what the father was doing? But we couldn't fix it. So on the last year,
• 1:22:35
  this is last year, I'm going to be coaching and I'm like, I want to make this our best year. I
• 1:22:39
  cut him. And his dad called me out and he says, I can't believe you would cut my son. I said,
• 1:22:44
  I didn't cut your son. I cut you. You're affecting your son. You're affecting our team. You're
• 1:22:51
  affecting our parents, right? I cut you. I would love to have your son on the team, but I don't want
• 1:22:57
  you. And that was hard for him to hear. He was not happy with me, but it was true. All right. Don't
• 1:23:04
  and this is what I talk about in the, in the don't mess with my DNA. Do you understand what you're
• 1:23:08
  doing to your children, even with good intentions? I'm sure that father felt like, this is how my
• 1:23:15
  father, you know, taught me, right? I had one guy tell me my father used to beat me all the time,
• 1:23:20
  and that's what made me hard and tough. And I went, no, right? My father never laid a hand on me,
• 1:23:27
  never yelled at me, right? Never did anything to affect me that way. I was brought up in this
• 1:23:33
  nurturing home. I got disciplined, right? But it was never an anger difference between discipline
• 1:23:38
  and, right, that, right. And so that's what you don't want to do. Actually, just one thought on that,
• 1:23:45
  just because I just thought, just popped up. When you're a child, like all the stuff that happens to
• 1:23:52
  you, it's just that beta state where you have these HD experiences that it really imprint on you
• 1:24:00
  and stay with you, you're just more susceptible to that as a child. Is that, is there a biological
• 1:24:05
  reason between like a certain age that this stuff sticks with you or more, maybe slightly more so
• 1:24:10
  than when you're an adult? Well, yeah, because you're, you're really learning at that stage. So you
• 1:24:15
  put a lot of meaning to things, especially as a child. So you may be wrong in the meaning. So
• 1:24:21
  even with the best of intentions, a parent can do something or say something, but a child does
• 1:24:26
  have enough life experience to understand what that means. So they'll attach a meaning to it.
• 1:24:32
  So as we get older and we have that little more ability, we're not attaching the meanings
• 1:24:37
  quite the same understand, but that child in those early years, they think about they don't know
• 1:24:42
  what they're experiencing. So then they're trying to figure out, what does this mean about me?
• 1:24:46
  All right, I'm not safe. I'm not smart. Whatever it is. Okay.
• 1:24:51
  Um, last question, uh, when you look back at your career and everything that you've accomplished,
• 1:24:57
  personally, what does success mean for you?
• 1:25:01
  Success for me is helping other people. If I can help other people, other people, that will take
• 1:25:07
  care of you. Yeah. So if you, um, serve other people and you help other people, whether that's
• 1:25:13
  providing a great product, whether that's providing a great service, I mean, it doesn't have to be
• 1:25:17
  just what I'm doing in terms of helping people with that. But if you provide services or
• 1:25:22
  products or whatever, for somebody, that to me is success. If you change somebody's life.