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Transcript

Erotic Independence · Erotic Spirit Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_01: I always say I fall in love with myself and who I am with the person that I'm that I'm with.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: Yes, there is love for that connection, but then being able to take the sexual experiences, how much more powerful, like you said, can those experiences be with full love in all different areas?
0:18
SPEAKER_01: Where, right, they they see you in all different areas.
0:22
SPEAKER_01: How much deeper can they connect with you when they are present in you know with your boundaries and understand your boundaries in other areas of life?
0:32
SPEAKER_01: And they follow through and they see you.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: Please understand we are not therapists.
0:50
SPEAKER_03: We are simply sharing from our own journey and experience.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: This podcast is sponsored by My Awakening Within.
0:58
SPEAKER_01: If you are looking for some sort of practice to drop into your pleasure, to reconnect to your body, to start to build and cultivate safety from within, join me on this online self-guided journey where you will start to learn breathwork techniques, emotional release practices, and start to build this foundation of safety and security from a place of presence.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: So join me online, myAwakeningWithin.com or linked in the show notes.
1:28
SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Erotic Spirit where soul, sexuality, and real life meet.
1:32
SPEAKER_03: My name is Angela Shelby.
1:34
SPEAKER_03: And I'm Jenna Lee.
1:35
SPEAKER_03: And along with our own dialogue, we channel in messages from angels, ascended masters, spirit guides, and other friends in spirit about topics like spirituality, sexuality, pleasure, intimacy, uh, recovering from trauma, and where all of those meet.
1:56
SPEAKER_03: If you're not familiar with channeling, channeling is allowing higher-dimensional beings to use our voices and our bodies to bring through information.
2:05
SPEAKER_03: So today we are talking about erotic independence.
2:10
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
2:12
SPEAKER_03: Who knew that was a thing, right?
2:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and if you stick around, we're gonna teach you how to hold your own erotic independence and have more confidence.
2:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, have more confidence.
2:23
SPEAKER_03: Have more confidence and understand your own power better.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I love this because a lot of times people equate our own sexual confidence and sexuality with a partner.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: And that is the furthest from the from the truth.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: And I love to talk about how our energy, our sexual energy, it is ours.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: There may be desire and attraction with someone else and potentially a an existing partner or a prospect partner, but ultimately our energy is ours, right?
3:00
SPEAKER_01: And grounding that in so that we could actually take ownership and responsibility on everything.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:10
SPEAKER_03: Something that I think is really important, and I know you've had these experiences.
3:15
SPEAKER_03: Part of it is hearing your experiences.
3:17
SPEAKER_03: It's helped me understand this better, is that when we have these awesome sexual experiences, especially these loving experiences, we want to attribute to them, or I shouldn't say that, we associate them with that person and with that partner because we're having that experience with that partner.
3:39
SPEAKER_03: It's just a natural association of the mind.
3:42
SPEAKER_03: Um but it's important to understand, at least through our experience, what we've learned is that that comes from within us.
3:56
SPEAKER_03: It is something that we share with that person, and that person may help inspire it in us, but that that power, that pleasure, that blending, that intimacy, that is something that we are sharing with the other person.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:18
SPEAKER_03: So it's coming out of us, it's not dependent on that person, it's something that we choose to share with that person.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:28
SPEAKER_03: So exactly.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: And and we can have those similar experiences on our own too.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: And like you said, there could be that inspiration with the partner, but we can take that inspiration of love or connection and have that deeply within ourselves.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: And I know I've I've shared this uh before on this show, but I've I had a sexual experience with a partner where I I met God.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: You know, I had an out-of-body experience and it was pure love.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: I know it was like, where am I?
5:03
SPEAKER_01: Am I I didn't want to come back.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: I did not want to come back.
5:07
SPEAKER_01: It was pure love.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: And so there was that inspiration with the partner because that I had there's so much love for that person that was in front of me.
5:18
SPEAKER_01: And the oneness that just kept flowing and kept flowing, and all before I know it, I'm out of my body.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: And that was all you.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: It's all me.
5:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you you were inspired in that moment to be that with that person, but that came out of you.
5:36
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
5:36
SPEAKER_03: I so this came to mind.
5:39
SPEAKER_03: So we all have have experienced and have friends that you know, they have a partner that in real life is not really the best for them, but their sex life is great.
5:52
SPEAKER_03: It is like awesome.
5:54
SPEAKER_03: So they stay with someone or get reinvolved with someone just because of the power of that experience and that that connection, that feeling, because they they feel it is that person that makes that possible, not understanding that they are the ones that are making that possible.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:17
SPEAKER_03: So I think reframing that it takes our power back.
6:21
SPEAKER_03: It helps us understand what in this person inspires that in me, but I am that.
6:28
SPEAKER_03: And I can choose to share that with somebody else.
6:30
SPEAKER_03: It's just me understanding myself and what about this situation?
6:35
SPEAKER_03: What about this person that makes this magical moment, even though in other areas of my life they're not good for me.
6:45
SPEAKER_03: So it's it's taking our power back and knowing I can share that with somebody else, and somebody else that fits the rest of my life better and is healthier for me in other ways.
6:56
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: And that is sexual sovereignty, our power, right?
7:00
SPEAKER_01: That is our choice.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: And I love this example that you give because I do feel like people do that quite often.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: It's like that that sex is so good.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: But this is, I always say I fall in love with myself and in who I am with the person that I'm that I'm with.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Yes, there is love for that connection, but then being able to take the sexual experiences, how much more powerful, like you said, can those experiences be with full love in all different areas?
7:32
SPEAKER_01: Where, right, they they see you in all different areas.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: How much deeper can they connect with you when they are present in, you know, with your boundaries and understand your boundaries in other areas of life and they follow through and they see you, right?
7:49
SPEAKER_01: I see it as someone can only see you as deep, as deep as they can see themselves.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: And that shows out in how they treat you in all areas of life.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: And so if there's uh other areas that are a little toxic or however that may be, well, how deep can they really see you in that sexual experience?
8:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: Right?
8:11
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: So it it could be that much more powerful.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: And I love to share that.
8:16
SPEAKER_01: I love you for sharing that because we we gotta walk away.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, walk away sometimes.
8:22
SPEAKER_03: Walk away from the good sex because it will get that much better when yeah, honoring other aspects of our life.
8:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:31
SPEAKER_03: Understanding, we take it with us, yeah, it's not dependent on that person.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:37
SPEAKER_01: And I I also like with sexual sovereignty and independence, ownership of my experience.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: Big piece there.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: And when when I talk about this, or there's many avenues, but what I want to express here is about if I have triggers or traumas that are just they're laying in the dust over there, completely shadowed off.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: It's my responsibility when I recognize it that to get help, to get support, to work through it, to move through those things and come out the other side eventually.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: And so I I can share that with my own experiences that, you know, I was in a long-term relationship and I did not enjoy being touched, right?
9:26
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that I had repressed memories, but when these flashes started coming up, there was a hint there, there's a subtle recognition.
9:36
SPEAKER_01: And at one point it was slam in my face.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: I got to do something about this.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: And then I decided to.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: So that is the the independence within us to choose to live a better life through our healed and processing things that really are it's time.
9:54
SPEAKER_03: And I like how you brought that up.
9:56
SPEAKER_03: So that moves on to like another part of sovereignty.
9:59
SPEAKER_03: It's it's taking care of our stuff, yeah.
10:03
SPEAKER_03: Whatever it is, you know, our traumas, our inhibitions, all our stuff, all that collection of stuff, and not only that, our pleasures, what we like, yes, understanding what we like, and if we don't know, it's figuring that out.
10:22
SPEAKER_03: There's there's so much of our culture, and I speak from Western culture.
10:29
SPEAKER_03: You know, I grew up on Harlequin romances and that kind of love and grew up Catholic.
10:36
SPEAKER_03: So it was about you find your partner for life, and they are it, and you stay with them forever, and it's enough.
10:46
SPEAKER_03: And that thought that all of my needs will be met by this person, or I'll just figure it out.
10:53
SPEAKER_03: I'll figure all this sex stuff out when I get with that person, and they will be the ones, you know, that will meet that.
11:02
SPEAKER_03: That's how that was the mindset I grew up with.
11:06
SPEAKER_03: And it's not, it's the opposite of that.
11:09
SPEAKER_03: It's that I am responsible for what makes me happy.
11:14
SPEAKER_03: I am I'm responsible for telling my partner that this is good or this is bad or saying I don't know.
11:20
SPEAKER_03: Um, or that person can help me figure it out, but it is my job to have a good sexual experience for myself.
11:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:29
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's my job to have a good orgasm.
11:32
SPEAKER_03: It's not their job.
11:33
SPEAKER_03: It's it's me saying, yes, go here, or no, don't go there, or not, you know, not that way tonight, but this way.
11:41
SPEAKER_03: And that was really hard for me.
11:44
SPEAKER_03: That was a hard thing for me to realize, especially around a topic that you weren't supposed to talk about.
11:49
SPEAKER_03: That's the other thing.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: We don't talk about it until you go through the ceremony, and then everything is fine, and you can talk about all of it.
11:56
SPEAKER_03: That is not how this works.
11:58
SPEAKER_03: You know, the block is there, it's taboo until you have the ceremony.
12:03
SPEAKER_03: That 10-minute ceremony does not take away decades of repression and thou shalt not talk about this subject.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: It does not.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: No, it doesn't just wipe it clean.
12:15
SPEAKER_03: No, so it's it's growing up that way, and I know a lot of people grow up that way, one way or another.
12:22
SPEAKER_03: It's understanding that and taking responsibility and knowing I gotta communicate.
12:27
SPEAKER_03: I have to talk about this.
12:29
SPEAKER_03: I have to understand what I like.
12:31
SPEAKER_03: Nobody can figure it out for me.
12:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I can ask for help, I can use people as reference, but when it comes down to it, I am the one who decides what feels good.
12:43
SPEAKER_03: I am the one who decides where I'm willing to go and where I'm not willing to go.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: So I love that.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: And and I agree, there are people many people that grow up in different circumstances, but maybe it's more newer where sexual experiences or sex is more talked about, for sure, not me.
13:03
SPEAKER_01: And none of that was talked about when growing up.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: And so it's kind of like right that block.
13:10
SPEAKER_01: That block in communicating.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: I will say the big thing that I love to talk about is if I feel a block in in communication, and if you're listening and you feel a block in communicating, communicate in other areas outside of sex in the bedroom.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: When you are just continuing to really speak and express yourself and your mind in all areas, and then you talk about things before you get into the bedroom too, because when you're in there, it can be a little daunting.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh, I don't know about this, right?
13:43
SPEAKER_01: Are they is it going to be received?
13:44
SPEAKER_01: We may get in our heads and then kind of throw off the flow.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: So uh I like a check-in with a partner, and like, hey, this is what I like, this is what I didn't like, or I liked it all.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: Keep doing more of that thing, uh-huh.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: Right?
14:02
SPEAKER_01: And that's just that that check-in, and maybe it's not like sexy or anything, but yeah, just a hey, you know, and or hey, that these are some new things I would like to try.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: What are your thoughts?
14:14
SPEAKER_01: And it's all about just this being open, not coming from judgment.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you might feel a little scary that first time, but then maybe make it a little fun, maybe like set the mood and have some candles and uh make it just the expression of love and creating this bubble of love, like anything in this bubble here, anything said between us right now, right?
14:38
SPEAKER_01: This is a non-judgment zone.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: And if you're not open to something or you're not, it doesn't float your boat, then that's fine.
14:46
SPEAKER_01: Right.
14:46
SPEAKER_01: So setting a container where we know if there's a no, it's like, I'm not gonna, don't worry, I'm not gonna be upset.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you don't know until you say it.
14:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
14:56
SPEAKER_03: I like that.
14:56
SPEAKER_03: I know judgment zone.
14:57
SPEAKER_03: And I like how you said again, because we've talked about this before, like with the playfulness thing.
15:03
SPEAKER_03: If you want to bring more playfulness into the bedroom, it's a lot easier if you're practicing being playful in other areas of your life.
15:10
SPEAKER_03: And then it just automatically kind of comes into the bedroom with you.
15:14
SPEAKER_03: It follows you in because you've been practicing it, cultivating it, putting your energy toward it.
15:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
15:19
SPEAKER_03: So as far as communication goes, you're saying the same thing.
15:23
SPEAKER_03: It's the more we practice communicating outside the bedroom and being clear with coworkers and friends and family.
15:30
SPEAKER_03: And I'm telling you right now, family can be the hardest people in the world to be to communicate well.
15:37
SPEAKER_03: Um, and communicate well, especially if there are old patterns of behavior that are so established.
15:44
SPEAKER_03: Yes, and that can happen with lovers.
15:47
SPEAKER_03: So having that that rut to be in, it's easier to practice a new skill like that outside of the rut, outside of that charged area.
15:56
SPEAKER_03: And the bedroom's a charged area.
15:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
15:58
SPEAKER_03: Especially, you know, it just is.
16:00
SPEAKER_03: It just is so practicing, you know, practicing talking to your neighbor, Mrs.
16:04
SPEAKER_03: Spunkelcrief, is practicing that and being honest will be a lot easier than practicing with someone who is close to your heart over intimate topics.
16:16
SPEAKER_03: So practice.
16:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this with the neighbors and the people that that don't aren't so charged.
16:22
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
16:23
SPEAKER_03: Does that make sense?
16:24
SPEAKER_03: I hope that made sense.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: It does.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: I was actually visualizing a uh older woman with what like white hair and like just as a neighbor.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: But essentially, right, like, you know, even if you have a friend and someone who you feel is trusted.
16:39
SPEAKER_01: And I was just visualizing and getting this movie playing through my head about having maybe open sex conversations.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, this is what happened.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: This is, you know, with with what happened with maybe if you had this partner or your own experiences and getting the flow going with someone that's trusted.
16:57
SPEAKER_03: And but isn't necessarily your partner, you're saying.
17:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:01
SPEAKER_03: A friend.
17:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a friend.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: Hey, this this exposition, have you ever tried that?
17:05
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, it's just a friend.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: And it's someone that you can that you already have that fun with, that you already have that trust with, but there's no, there is no judgment on like, hey, this is it what they weren't part of the experience.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: So they're not gonna take it one way.
17:21
SPEAKER_03: And not as charged as talking to a lover.
17:23
SPEAKER_03: So again, bringing up that's a good idea.
17:25
SPEAKER_03: Talking about sex with somebody that it's not so charged that you're not attracted to, but someone you trust.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:32
SPEAKER_03: Just just to talk about it.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:33
SPEAKER_03: How many people?
17:34
SPEAKER_03: Do you know how long it took me to like start talking about sex, like relaxed and open?
17:40
SPEAKER_03: That took a while.
17:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:41
SPEAKER_03: That was hard.
17:42
SPEAKER_03: It was a hard thing, you know?
17:44
SPEAKER_03: Oh, years and years of ingrained, we don't talk about it.
17:47
SPEAKER_03: And then, like, well, then you need to talk about it.
17:50
SPEAKER_03: When I found that out, I was so mad.
17:52
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, you sons of bitches, really?
17:57
SPEAKER_03: Really?
17:57
SPEAKER_03: This is what now you're going the other way.
17:59
SPEAKER_03: It's like, oh, I'm responsible for my own pleasure.
18:02
SPEAKER_03: What?
18:03
SPEAKER_03: And you want me to talk about it?
18:05
SPEAKER_03: You bastard.
18:07
SPEAKER_03: You know, I was so mad.
18:08
SPEAKER_03: You give him the finger.
18:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
18:10
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, who pulled?
18:12
SPEAKER_03: It was like somebody pulled the rug out from under me.
18:14
SPEAKER_03: All that I knew did not was not real.
18:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
18:18
SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, so yeah.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: So in recap, it's it's important to understand and communicate what we need and understand ourselves.
18:29
SPEAKER_03: And it can be so scary.
18:31
SPEAKER_03: There are parts of me I still don't understand, and then I'm still figuring out, and probably well until the day I die, there is always another horizon in me.
18:40
SPEAKER_03: There's always something new to learn.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: Um, but understanding that and just owning it.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: And and in recapping too, like just looking at if there's uh feeling a block on communicating, were there places where in our life, right?
18:57
SPEAKER_01: We when we go do the shadow work, and shadow work is basically you go look at the things that cause any type of friction, emotional discharge that is not more at peace with things.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: And when you go in and say, okay, were there times where I communicated where I was not safe?
19:16
SPEAKER_01: Were there things that happened, where there are times I couldn't communicate because me communicating meant a vicious attack or a shutdown, whatever that looked like.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times we'll repeat those patterns in adult life.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: And so work through those things.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: And once you do and you have that safe person to communicate, that's where we recreate new experiences.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm safe now.
19:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:40
SPEAKER_03: Recreating new experiences.
19:42
SPEAKER_03: Yes, yeah, for sure.
19:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:45
SPEAKER_03: Um, something else about sexual sovereignty that I we've touched on this a lot because it comes through in so many different ways.
19:52
SPEAKER_03: It's understanding what we really believe about who we are and what sex is and what works for us.
20:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:03
SPEAKER_03: So that's part of us, you know, us knowing ourselves, um, but deciding what that is and deciding what to keep and what not to keep.
20:14
SPEAKER_03: So I have this, I have this image that it really came home to me about getting over the stumbling blocks of what I was told was like hell and damnation, like you're it's survival fear when they're like, you're going to hell and you will be damned forever, forever, you know, if you do X, Y, Z.
20:42
SPEAKER_03: And so getting over that knee jerk, just survival mode terror.
20:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:50
SPEAKER_03: That was really hard.
20:51
SPEAKER_03: So it was interesting.
20:54
SPEAKER_03: I was shown this image of me sit standing in a house, and this house was just full of stuff, like so much stuff I I find like I couldn't move.
21:06
SPEAKER_03: And just looking at all this stuff and going, I can't, it's hard to breathe in here.
21:13
SPEAKER_03: Like, what do I do?
21:15
SPEAKER_03: Well, duh, I'm gonna clean it out.
21:18
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna clean it out.
21:19
SPEAKER_03: I'm going to decide what I want to keep and what I don't want to keep.
21:23
SPEAKER_03: And that it really clicked for me then that that's what this was about.
21:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:27
SPEAKER_03: It wasn't about hell and damnation.
21:29
SPEAKER_03: It wasn't about such a charged topic.
21:34
SPEAKER_03: It like it took the charge out of it for me.
21:36
SPEAKER_03: And I understood this is all this stuff inside myself.
21:41
SPEAKER_03: Some of it's mine, some of it I've collected from other people.
21:45
SPEAKER_03: And all I have to do is clean out and decide what I want to keep.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:50
SPEAKER_03: And it it took the moral dilemma out of it for me.
21:54
SPEAKER_03: It's like I know God as a loving being.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: By this time, I was really having some deep loving spiritual experiences.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:05
SPEAKER_03: Um, had since I was a teenager, and I really thought about those experiences and went, I know what God feels like.
22:13
SPEAKER_03: I know that love.
22:16
SPEAKER_03: So knowing this love, do I want to keep this concept?
22:20
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I know it.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: I can feel it in my bones.
22:23
SPEAKER_03: Does it jive with this concept over here of I will be damned forever?
22:28
SPEAKER_03: You know, should I masturbate on Friday?
22:31
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, these don't jive.
22:33
SPEAKER_03: No, these don't, these don't match for me.
22:36
SPEAKER_03: What do I want to keep?
22:38
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna get rid of this one.
22:40
SPEAKER_03: And it just took the fear out of it for me.
22:42
SPEAKER_03: And it also helped me not judge other people because I'm like, this is their stuff, and it obviously works for them.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:49
SPEAKER_03: If it worked for them, great, but I don't want to keep it.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:53
SPEAKER_03: And it's like, go with God, whatever works for you, but that doesn't work for me.
22:58
SPEAKER_03: And and then I started cleaning out my internal space.
23:03
SPEAKER_03: Just put it into perspective for me.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for sharing that.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: I always love you have these beautiful visuals, and I go through the visuals with you as you explain it.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I'm clearing this out and that, and you get to go.
23:17
SPEAKER_01: And nope, not you.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: And so I love it.
23:19
SPEAKER_01: And I this point of keeping what gets to go or saying what gets to go and saying what I want to keep.
23:28
SPEAKER_01: And there are a couple of things that kept coming in.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: There are experiences that we have with partners and people where there are things that, you know, that they learned.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: And we can decide whether or not we get to keep, you know, that experience moving forward, or we do we like it or not.
23:46
SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, for example, to some people, you know, they all they know is porn and that this is how sex looks, or right, movies and they do not cover well either because there are many things in movies they do not cover.
24:00
SPEAKER_01: I can go on.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: It's like, what happens when women have period?
24:04
SPEAKER_01: They usually don't show sex with period on movies, right?
24:08
SPEAKER_01: It's just the all the beautiful things, and that's not realistic.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: That's not there's so many things that happen behind the scenes.
24:16
SPEAKER_01: So, and there's nothing against you know, people who are who are watching porn, not to shame and not to judge that, but there's a lot of performance.
24:26
SPEAKER_03: Actors, everything it's all performance, and they're actors, they are acting, they have makeup all over their body, they get shifted for shots.
24:35
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it is acting just like any other movie.
24:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: So when we look at where these ideas on sexual experiences come from, that's that's just a frame over here where it's it's about clicks and watching and and all of that.
24:54
SPEAKER_01: But we get to create our experiences and learn and say, okay, nope, that's none of that is what I want.
25:02
SPEAKER_01: Let's not keep that, you know, or maybe I like that one thing.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: Hmm, that was interesting.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: And that's fine.
25:09
SPEAKER_01: But just knowing that what we're learning out there is most likely performative and it's not it does not equal what we truly want or desire.
25:21
SPEAKER_01: It may be just being the moment, that's what we're doing.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: But when you're with a partner, it's not reality.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:29
SPEAKER_03: It's not reality, and I think it's important to, again, it's one of those things that's helped me looking at a sexual experience as a creative project.
25:43
SPEAKER_03: So instead of this is how it's going to be or how this is how it has to be, it's like, what do I want to create right now?
25:52
SPEAKER_03: You know, with the canvas I've got right now, what feels right to me?
25:55
SPEAKER_03: What like what internal color do I want to use?
25:59
SPEAKER_03: What flavor is this?
26:00
SPEAKER_03: Is this a whips and chains kind of night?
26:03
SPEAKER_03: Or is this a giggle and make out in front of the TV kind of night?
26:08
SPEAKER_03: Like, what do I want to create right now?
26:11
SPEAKER_03: Who am I with?
26:12
SPEAKER_03: What's the energy right now?
26:14
SPEAKER_03: And thinking about it in that way, uh, it helps me be in the moment and not worry about it.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
26:22
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm like, I don't know until I get there.
26:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't know what this is gonna be like until I'm there.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: And that's okay because you know I'm painting.
26:31
SPEAKER_03: I know good artists like Bob Ross, when he was in front of a canvas.
26:36
SPEAKER_03: If you don't know who Bob Ross is, I'm sorry, I'm dating myself.
26:39
SPEAKER_03: He's this awesome painter, and he would paint on television and I would watch him on Saturday mornings and just be entranced because he'd whip out this painting in like 30 minutes.
26:50
SPEAKER_03: And it was with no real thought.
26:53
SPEAKER_03: He would just be there going, we're gonna do a mountain scene today, and we're just gonna see how that looks like.
26:58
SPEAKER_03: And he would talk and be like, There's a little river right here.
27:01
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and I think I see some clouds over there.
27:04
SPEAKER_03: And oh, based on where that tree is, I think that, you know, we're gonna put a dog, or you know, he was just doing it in the moment.
27:14
SPEAKER_03: It's a creative project.
27:16
SPEAKER_03: So that is very helpful, and it helps me take responsibility.
27:21
SPEAKER_03: It is my power, it is my creation.
27:25
SPEAKER_03: So instead of I thinking I have to live up to these expectations, whether they're in my own head of you know, all sorts of stuff, how I look, how I should be, I have to have an orgasm.
27:37
SPEAKER_03: I have to make sure my partner has an orgasm, whatever.
27:40
SPEAKER_03: It's just I'm gonna see what happens right now.
27:44
SPEAKER_03: And that's my power.
27:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's my sovereignty is living in the moment.
27:48
SPEAKER_03: And it just takes so much pressure off.
27:50
SPEAKER_03: Taking back our power takes so much pressure off because it's my experience.
27:55
SPEAKER_03: I'm just choosing to share it with somebody, and I'm not in charge of their experience.
28:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm just in charge of mine.
28:03
SPEAKER_03: And, you know, my you know, my like for a good flogging, or my like, you know, for being tied up, or my like for what peanut butter in the bedroom.
28:15
SPEAKER_03: Whatever that is, I'm gonna share it.
28:18
SPEAKER_03: And they may like it or they may not.
28:19
SPEAKER_03: And then we go on with our our creation and they put in what they're part of the creation.
28:25
SPEAKER_03: But it is my sharing with them.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:30
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and it just makes it easier because I'm like, all I have to do is share.
28:33
SPEAKER_03: That's my power.
28:34
SPEAKER_03: This is who I am.
28:36
SPEAKER_03: I don't know all of myself, but all I have to do is share.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
28:41
SPEAKER_01: And you said it in so many different ways, but presence is power.
28:45
SPEAKER_01: Presence is inspiration.
28:48
SPEAKER_01: When you are present in that moment, that's truly our desires and or whatever it is.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: Really, what I was hearing was inspiration comes through.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: And we get to be in the moment in the flow with that creative project.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: And that that sexual energy, that is a creative energy.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: So when we're really present in it, that's huge.
29:13
SPEAKER_01: That's it's not performative, it's not from value.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: I need validation, right?
29:17
SPEAKER_01: When we talked about before confidence and how to help someone with confidence, it's what is confidence?
29:24
SPEAKER_01: You don't need validation to say that you are a divine fucking being, right?
29:32
SPEAKER_01: You just are.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: You don't need to, how do I need to figure out how to magnetize something?
29:37
SPEAKER_01: No, you just are.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: I am.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: And that essence, and without any of that validation, that you move through that flow and presence, and you just the magic happens, baby.
29:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the magic happens, baby.
29:53
SPEAKER_03: No question about it.
29:57
SPEAKER_03: No question about it.
29:59
SPEAKER_03: Oh so I'm gonna ask what Spirit has to say about this.
30:02
SPEAKER_03: We've covered our bases pretty much.
30:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
30:06
SPEAKER_03: Let me ask.
30:07
SPEAKER_03: Let me see.
30:08
SPEAKER_03: Let me see if anybody wants to come forward or if anybody wants to come forward with you.
30:14
SPEAKER_03: Go for it.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: My hand's tingling.
30:19
SPEAKER_03: So, what they're showing me right now are flowers.
30:21
SPEAKER_03: Let me ask about what they mean by that.
30:29
SPEAKER_03: They're saying what you choose to plant is what grows.
30:33
SPEAKER_03: And in sexuality, that is no different.
30:37
SPEAKER_03: It's important to remember intention in all things.
30:42
SPEAKER_03: Intention is your foundation.
30:44
SPEAKER_03: Intention is where you allow yourself to create something with your own power and set the stage before you even start interacting with anyone.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: Your intention is born of your moments of silence, your moments with your own self, your moments in which you can ground yourself in your own peace and sense of identity before you take it out into the world.
31:16
SPEAKER_03: It is a place to find yourself and find your power and play with it and experiment with it before you take it out into the world to be held under the scrutiny of others.
31:33
SPEAKER_03: Intention is everything.
31:36
SPEAKER_03: And when you cultivate that flame, especially when you are calling in your own spirit, it helps it withstand the winds of the rest of the world.
31:50
SPEAKER_03: So that is our best advice for you.
31:53
SPEAKER_03: Start with your intention, what you would like to create, and then nurture it within yourself in silence before you decide to share it with others.
32:05
SPEAKER_03: I want to ask who that was.
32:07
SPEAKER_03: I want to the we.
32:08
SPEAKER_03: So that those were my sexual teachers coming through.
32:12
SPEAKER_03: That's who that was.
32:13
SPEAKER_03: Woo.
32:14
SPEAKER_03: I love them.
32:15
SPEAKER_03: I just love them.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: They're the best.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: I actually saw before you were channeling Jesus coming and was like giving high fives.
32:24
SPEAKER_01: And then you spoke, and I'm like, oh, okay.
32:27
SPEAKER_01: I know why we were giving high fives.
32:29
SPEAKER_03: We've been talking, he he was coming through earlier.
32:31
SPEAKER_03: I've been talking to him a lot.
32:33
SPEAKER_03: He's one of my main people.
32:34
SPEAKER_03: I there's nobody like that man.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: Main peeps over there.
32:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:40
SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful.
32:41
SPEAKER_01: Intention is really important.
32:43
SPEAKER_01: And we're when we talk about sovereignty and independence, right?
32:47
SPEAKER_01: Where are we going when we're talking about sacred sexuality?
32:50
SPEAKER_01: It's all about the flow of intention.
32:53
SPEAKER_01: We're the drivers at the end of the day in the seat of this car, this bus, whatever kind of vehicle you want to drive.
32:59
SPEAKER_01: You want to fly, we're we're flying, you're still flying it, you know.
33:04
SPEAKER_01: So it's it's the ownership that really equates to the independence.
33:10
SPEAKER_01: When you take ownership of something, that's how you you see your power.
33:15
SPEAKER_01: You truly see yourself a power.
33:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
33:18
SPEAKER_03: So I have Archangel Michael coming through.
33:21
SPEAKER_03: So he wants to add something.
33:22
SPEAKER_03: See what he has to add.
33:25
SPEAKER_03: He says, remember who you are.
33:28
SPEAKER_03: When you are in a moment where you question what is going on, where you're uncomfortable with what's happening, whether it be in the bedroom or anywhere else, especially when it assaults your sense of value, when you have that moment of nervousness, or you have that moment of feeling small or less than, take a moment to step away with the intention of remembering who you are.
33:58
SPEAKER_03: That is a magic phrase.
34:01
SPEAKER_03: If you have to hide in the bathroom, turn off the lights, and say, I am taking this moment to remember who I am and place your hand on your heart.
34:14
SPEAKER_03: It is an automatic clarion call to your soul and your spirit to come down and be with you and help you remember who you are and what your power is.
34:27
SPEAKER_03: And in that moment, what rises up in you, it may be your peace, it may be your anger, it may be your sense of letting go.
34:36
SPEAKER_03: Whatever that is, that is your soul's response to what is going on, and it is your answer.
34:43
SPEAKER_03: It is there to help guide you.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
34:51
SPEAKER_01: Know who you are, know thyself.
34:54
SPEAKER_03: Know thyself.
34:54
SPEAKER_03: He's that example.
34:55
SPEAKER_03: I know he did because I do that.
34:57
SPEAKER_03: I'm a nurse, and there I used to work in a packet, which is all noise, all chaos.
35:03
SPEAKER_03: And so the only quiet place was the bathroom.
35:05
SPEAKER_03: I would literally go in the bathroom and lock the door and turn off the lights and just be like, I'm taking a moment.
35:11
SPEAKER_03: Um, I'm gonna try that.
35:13
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna try the phrase.
35:14
SPEAKER_03: I'm going, I'm taking this moment to remember who I am and see what comes up.
35:19
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
35:20
SPEAKER_03: That's really cool.
35:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
35:22
SPEAKER_03: Very, very cool.
35:24
SPEAKER_01: I like it.
35:27
SPEAKER_01: Know thyself.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's that's more what you said it much more.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: But yes.
35:33
SPEAKER_03: Um, so to recap, well, if you had one takeaway for people, what would it be?
35:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it would be that our independence.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I love what you just said too, knowing yourself, taking ownership, understanding communication is all part of that, but really taking the ownership in the backseat, that's gonna allow us, that's gonna not allow us, we're gonna remember our fucking independence.
36:02
SPEAKER_01: And that is ultimately too how we become more confident.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:09
SPEAKER_01: How about you?
36:10
SPEAKER_03: My takeaway is remembering that I'm just sharing who I am.
36:15
SPEAKER_03: That is my power.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:17
SPEAKER_03: And so it's understanding who I am and where my dark spots are, where my hurt spots are, what makes me happy, and that uh sharing it.
36:26
SPEAKER_03: It just takes the pressure off of everything.
36:28
SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
36:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, cool.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for tuning in today to Erotic Spirit Podcast.
36:36
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36:39
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36:43
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36:45
SPEAKER_01: Come see us and drop a comment if any of this resonated.
36:48
SPEAKER_01: Bye for now.
36:50
SPEAKER_03: So, this awesome podcast is sponsored by Enlightened Energy Works.
36:55
SPEAKER_03: Would you like to meet your spirit guides or build a deeper connection with them?
37:00
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37:15
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37:23
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37:25
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