Latest / Harder Than Life / 88: The Role of Action & Courage in Personal Growth w/ Evan Carmichael

Transcript

88: The Role of Action & Courage in Personal Growth w/ Evan Carmichael · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:14
  Welcome to the 100 Life Podcast. Today we're honored to introduce the true beacon of inspiration and entrepreneurship. He's a renowned author, speaker, and YouTube sensation whose mission is to ignite the fire within individuals to achieve their fullest potential. Join us in welcoming the one and only Evan Carmichael. Let's go, man. What an intro. Thanks for having me. This is great.
• 0:35
  I've followed all your rules. I get it. You know, things don't happen. I believe there are no coincidences, Evan. Since you got sick, by the way, I'm much happy that you got better real quick. But since you got sick, we've changed a bunch of things. And I got even more questions. But I'm going to dig dive because we're actually probably going to become one of your customers. So this is going to be like a model together. So I've been asking everybody. Everybody knows who you are.
• 1:03
  but they're not quite sure what you do. So take a 30 second infomercial and tell everybody, why do I want to listen to this podcast today? Because it's going to be great. Well, I get some contact. So when you said I was sick, we had initially scheduled this a little bit ago. And in like day of, I think I was really sick or the day before or something. And I never cancel things. And I'm not usually sick either. It'd have to take a lot. Like I could not get out of bed.
• 1:33
  that sick and I'm like, man, I still like, is it still, maybe I just still do it. You know, like I think of, of any of the commitments that I had for that day, because my, my day is like packed full of interviews. I think of all the ones that I have, Kelly would be the most like, like,
• 1:50
  appreciative that I'm doing it from my bed, you know, just trying to show up. That's harder than life, baby. That's harder than life. That's what I'm saying, right? But it's like, okay, well, I don't think I want to be vomiting on his show, right? It's like, okay, fine. So we, so we push it. So appreciate you and the team for, for, you know, accommodating that.
• 2:07
  Um, I don't know why people should listen to the show. I guess we'll see wherever you, wherever you take this. Um, Kelly and I met on, uh, someone else's, uh, I was doing a web, uh, I was doing a presentation, I think, or I was doing a part of a group. Um, oh, it was CLS experience, right? Yeah. My brother from another mother, Craig Siegel, you were talking all about branding and YouTube and, and I got to point out.
• 2:33
  that in the time since I did this and we rebooked, you've added 300,000 new YouTube subscribers. So he knows what to do with people. If you want to grow YouTube, this is the man to do it. So I'll kick it off with this. There's sales funnels, there's coaches, there's get rich quick videos on the internet now. How can the average Joe or Jane know if an offer is legit and will produce an ROI? Give us...
• 3:01
  the Evan Michaels best practices. So I always start with whatever is free.
• 3:08
  Just to try to get a taste. Now, it might change a little bit now because I know a lot of people in the space, so referrals will mean a lot. Like if Craig said, hey, Kelly's great. You should go on a show. That'll mean something. And I'll probably say yes. Now, if I go on and then Kelly sucks, now Craig's recommendation is terrible. I'm not trusting him again.
• 3:32
  But in general, I think if you're at the beginning and you have no connections, you don't know. I mean, that's the scary part. Like, you don't know. You don't know if this is a legit thing or not. You don't know if this is real. You don't know if this is a person to trust. Before you go and you drain your life savings and join some mastermind or something, just start with their free stuff. Like, all of these guys and ladies have some free stuff. Have a YouTube channel. Have Instagram content. Then they're teaching something.
• 3:57
  And just apply. I give away lots of stuff for free. Apply it and see if it works. And if you take one thing that I say and it works, cool, then go to the next step. And if you tried three of the things that I said and none of it works, then maybe I'm not the mentor for you and go find somebody else. So I would start with free. Then I would go to whatever the most people have some kind of book, some kind of low. Like how much is a book investment? 20 bucks, 30 bucks. You're not out a ton of money.
• 4:23
  And then again, I mean, I've got four books. I don't know if you can see them around me, but they're somewhere. Great. Buy a book for $20. And again, apply what's in the book. And if it works for you, then take the next step. And if it doesn't work for you, then move on. There's lots of great people you can learn from. And so I would step my way up. Before you start spending $50,000 on a mastermind or whatever the thing is,
• 4:50
  Spend some time with the person, not, you know, obviously in person, physically, I mean, it'd be possible, but with their content, with their advice, with their books, and see if this is the person who kind of speaks into you and you're getting results before you start spending a lot more money on it. I got to tell you, I spent an afternoon going down your rabbit hole on YouTube. There is...
• 5:12
  There's a whole masterclass in every video. And I'm not just saying that because you're on my podcast. I say it how I see it. But there's Zig Ziglar stuff. There's Tony Robbins stuff. It is fire. I'm telling you, I lost hours when I was doing show prep. It's invested, invested, invested hours. Yeah.
• 5:33
  I like the way you're absolutely right. I did learn something. You're going to say, you're going to tell by you're with this question. You stated that the world's number one problem is that people don't believe in themselves. What is your go-to advice for a young person who is struggling with this and then someone of our age? Oh, that's interesting. I don't know that the age, age difference makes a difference, but let me, let me talk this out and then we'll see where we land. Um,
• 6:01
  I think if you're struggling to believe in yourself, which is everybody, by the way, like to get to the next step, you're confident and believe in yourself to do the things you've already done, but you don't believe in yourself to take the next big step forward. If there's nowhere in your life that you don't believe in yourself, then you're thinking too small. So, you know, when you couldn't, when you couldn't tie your shoes, then you didn't believe in yourself to tie your shoes. And now you can do it without even thinking, like it's no big deal at all.
• 6:29
  But the next big thing, what is the big thing? Look, what's Kelly's like big thing that he's looking at? He's like, there's no way I could do that. That's the problem. And other people like you have done it. People with less resources, less money, less smarts, less talent, less hustle. Like they've done it. And you haven't. And so...
• 6:46
  The way that I try to fight to get through it every day is I surround myself with people who make me think bigger. So you mentioned Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins and other names. Every morning I start with that. And this morning I had Zig Ziglar in my ear, so it's great. It's crazy that you just mentioned him because I was listening to him as I'm walking. Yeah.
• 7:06
  And it just makes me come home feeling like, damn, I got to go do something bigger. And the biggest challenge I find is no matter how much of a great day we have, today is awesome. I've been in and out of podcasts all day. I get to talk to Kelly. This is going to be great. I'm going to leave today feeling on fire, and then I wake up tomorrow morning like I'm starting over again. And so I need that injection every day. And so whoever does it for you,
• 7:36
  Be around that every day. You know, an Eric Thomas or a Jocko Willink or an Andy Frisella, they're going to yell at you through it. You know, they're going to they're going to scream and yell at you through it. And Oprah is going to, like, hug you through it. So how many episodes of Harder Than Life do you have, Kelly? We're record. We've published 81. We've got 90 record. I think you're 91.
• 7:58
  Perfect. So if somebody is watching this and they love your mindset and they love how you think and they love your energy and they love the guests and the questions you have, you've got 90 episodes to go through. Like start your day for the next 90 days watching a harder than life episode. They're going to come out of those 90 days being a different person, being harder.
• 8:21
  Like it's it's going to happen. Either that or you get so pissed off at Kelly that you never want to see him again. But you're probably going to have grown, have learned. And the thing is, like the motivation alone isn't enough. Seeing Kelly and his guest might inspire you. And that's great. But the thing is, like, then you go home or you get to your office, you get to your computer like, man, I got it. I don't want to be here anymore. Right.
• 8:46
  And I'm tired of playing small. And that idea, I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to make my first video. I'm going to launch my course. I'm going to make these changes. I'm going to make that phone call. And the motivation alone isn't enough, but it gives you the courage to then go do something.
• 9:03
  And what's that line of like, you only need two seconds of courage to change your life? Something like that. That's what we need. And so it's watching a show like Harder Than Life or whoever it is that you look up to gives you the courage to then go make the shift that you need to make in your life.
• 9:21
  I receive all that, Evan. I really appreciate it. I got to tell you, if people watch us, you're going to see a metaphor of life. We started off rocky, and then we kind of now are hitting our groove. We're consistently top 30 in the self-improvement. So we're improving every day. So we're consistently in the top 30 in Apple Podcast self-improvement. So we're coming for the number one spot, and it's with getting better, which is what you preach over and over
• 9:51
  Who's number one? It floats all the time. There's this dating woman, Sabrina Zohar, who she teaches people on how to set boundaries and standards. She's usually number one or number two. People love their relationship advice. But we're about adversity. Who's your favorite podcaster right now? Well, Ed Milad, I would say. Okay. How do you think you stack up against Ed Milad?
• 10:20
  Um, I'm just as good, if not better. I'm just a little behind them. That's all. I just, I need more experience and I'm coming. I'm, I, I call them out all the time. It's funny how you just said something, Evan. You said, if you're not scared, you're not thinking big enough. I tell you, I think really bodaciously big and I'm not afraid. And the only reason why I'm not afraid is I grew up so scared.
• 10:44
  So brutalized, so broken that I'm here with this house money for me. So it's like, I'm on with you, man. I'm at my Florida house and I just landed this morning and I'm working all day. I get to do some amazing things. Most of my friends are dead or in jail.
• 11:00
  You know, you and I were teasing each other back and forth about the lions and the cowboys. It's, you know, this is the life I get to do now. So I'm with House Money, which is, you know, I remember 30 years ago reading Zig Ziglar's book on how to sell. That's how I taught myself how to sell, which made all of this. I'm going to learn it all sponge. And this is going to go to my next question is I don't regret anything. I just regret that I didn't.
• 11:24
  start working on myself sooner. I worked on my body to protect me, but I wish I would have worked on this. And that's what you talk about over and over and over again. So you're a man of my age. What is it? If you were offered a mulligan in life, what would you do over? So I, I would hope that I would have the courage to not change anything.
• 11:47
  Because I'd be afraid of the butterfly effect. Like if you go back in time and step on a butterfly, you come back to the present day and like...
• 11:56
  dinosaurs rule the world or something. That is like, if your life is, I love my life. And so I wouldn't, you know, want to change anything that then would change my, my present. That being said, if you took me back to like a painful moment, I don't know that I would have the courage to not like whisper in 19 year old Evan's ear and say, Hey man, like, don't do this, do that. Like I lost a $40 million deal when I was 22. Yeah.
• 12:23
  That would have been life-changing money for me because I was being too perfect and we lost a huge deal.
• 12:32
  if you took me back to 21, like before that was happening and I had five minutes with 21 year old Evan, I could whisper some things in his ear that might make a change. But if I go and close that $40 million deal, maybe I get hit by a bus three years later, right? I mean, I don't know. So I don't even really think that way. Like I don't think backwards. I'm like 85% present and 15% future.
• 13:00
  So, and the 0% passed. So if you ask me what I'd eat for breakfast today or who did I meet in my podcast, I couldn't even tell you. I don't know. Dude, I'm here with you. I don't know what I did.
• 13:13
  Yesterday, let alone, you know, 20 years ago. So maybe it's just how my weird brain works. But given that option, I would hope that I would not change anything. And if I had to pick, I probably would do something even more for my family. Like I'd have to think, could I save somebody's life? Yeah.
• 13:36
  If I went back 20 years earlier, like could I have helped my grandfather not get Alzheimer's if I went back to age five and said something? I don't know. That's where I would default to go and just take the assumption that, hey, 10 more years with my grandfather would make me better instead of worse.
• 14:00
  You radiate goodness out of you. I got to tell you, I like you. I like you as a person and I can feel that your authenticity. So thank you. Don't change a thing. We're just coming from somebody that you barely know, but it's just I can feel it.
• 14:17
  I appreciate it, brother. Thank you. You have 360,000 Facebook followers, 340,000 Instagram followers, 3.8 million YouTube subscribers. Why did you settle on YouTube as your preferred platform or did it settle on you? Yeah. So if you look at my history on social media, I think I started on LinkedIn.
• 14:38
  early LinkedIn back when they used to show you where you were in the country. Like you would get a ranking for how many connections you had based off the country. So I was top. I forget what it was like top 500 in Canada, most connected people. But I wasn't really getting it was more of a game. I wasn't really getting any value at the time. LinkedIn, too, was like a corporate job thing. It wasn't what it is now.
• 15:00
  Then I moved to Twitter. I just like the community vibe aspect of it in the day. And then Twitter started to die, even though now like Elon's kind of brought it back. Or I'd really say Trump resurrected Twitter. And now Elon is taking it back. But Twitter was in a rough spot. Yeah.
• 15:19
  I moved to YouTube as an experiment. I like video, dude. I think that the honest answer is I like visual. Like if we were having this and I couldn't see you, I would have to be like eyes closed, super focused on the audio because I don't learn from audio. I don't listen to any podcast audio. I listen to zero audio books. It just is the slowest way for me to learn.
• 15:39
  So I like to see things. And at the time in 2009 was my first video. It was the only video platform that you couldn't upload a video to the other places. And so I just, I liked it. I stuck around and people say like, how did you know? Like, I didn't know. I'm not Nostradamus. I had no crystal ball. I had no idea that this was going to be a thing. I just kept doing video. And even now, all the platforms do video, but nobody's doing long form video.
• 16:09
  So if you wanna learn, which is my goal, it's not about, there's so many videos on YouTube that I have no interest in. I'm not helping people make rap videos or slime challenges or whatever else, which is awesome, that's all there.
• 16:25
  But educate. I want to go and learn like I want to learn from Zig Ziglar and Tony and all these people at my let. I mean, he's a friend of the channel been on a couple of times. I want to go and learn from these people and spending half an hour, an hour every morning with them virtually through YouTube makes me a better human.
• 16:43
  And I can't do that on Instagram. If you spend an hour on Instagram, how much are you learning? How much are you getting better? How much are you improving? You might get inspired by a little clip, but you're not really getting better. Where you can spend an hour on YouTube and learn something. And so it's just about what's your objective. I want to learn. And I want to be surrounded by the best. And feed that into my head every day. And YouTube is still the only platform that really allows you to do it.
• 17:11
  Do you know how many total YouTube views you have? Somebody just told me that I had, I just passed over a million. I didn't, I didn't, I don't know if that, I mean, I have several reels on Instagram that are well over a million that are in several millions, but do you know how many total you have? I don't, you can look it up. I mean, I, um, we've got the main channel, then we've got a Russian channel with a million subscribers and a Spanish channel with a million subscribers and a shorts channel. That's about to hit a half a million subscribers. And, um, um,
• 17:38
  And then a TikTok with a million followers. And so, like, I don't know. I don't care so much about the view count across everything. But I think it's publicly available. You can go to the channel and click on About, I think, and you can see how many views are on the channel total. Where I'm getting at here is that the average, you know, everybody is...
• 17:59
  There's always a debate, which one should you use? So you have 7,700 YouTube videos and 10,000 Instagram posts. Is there some sort of rationale behind where you're posting and why? Well, it's a lot harder to make a YouTube video than an Instagram post.
• 18:15
  So if those are the numbers, 70, what did you say? 7,700 videos versus 10,000 posts. The amount of effort and work that went into 7,700 videos is insane compared to 10,000 Instagram posts. But I think the thing to maybe pull from is just...
• 18:35
  uh it's commitment you know it's like hey we put in work i was not this just overnight uh i launched two videos and then just crushed it it took me a long time to get going and we still are consistent the only thing i had going for me was i was consistent and it's like anything whatever in life you stay consistent now you're going to start getting results i love that water eventually wears out a rock uh you wrote
• 19:00
  a book built to serve. I saw it on your website, but it wasn't in the show notes. Evan, what leadership style do you believe you are looking on your website? I'd say servant leader, the things you do for others is tremendous. Um,
• 19:15
  And again, I want to thank you for coming on the Hard Life podcast and obviously doing your research on me and whatnot. So what type of leadership style are you? That's an interesting question. So I think it was Inc. Magazine, Inc. or I think it was Inc. listed me as one of the top –
• 19:32
  50 leadership speakers in the world and like really leadership, I guess. I don't, I don't know what the leadership styles are. Kelly, what are the styles? I don't even know what the different leadership styles are. You went through the, the, the, how the motivational speaker speakers are. So. Yeah. I mean, I, I,
• 19:51
  My leadership style is I want people to be better humans because I was in their life. And I care more about the person winning than the person winning with me. And so sometimes that means they should leave the company. We've pushed people out of the business even though they loved it and were great performers. But because they had a bigger ambition and bigger dream that –
• 20:16
  I can't help them with like, you need to go and do that thing and not be with me anymore. And let's, let's figure out a way for you to get out of this company so you can go do that thing. So I want people to win as humans more than I want them to win with me. And that's my leadership style.
• 20:33
  So besides the four books that you wrote, your four books, what other resources do you recommend for up and coming leaders or someone looking to get better at leadership besides obviously your, your YouTube channel? What do you go? Yeah. I mean, I would, I would go to the, I would even, even forget my YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube.
• 20:51
  Well, first dissect how you learn. Like, do you learn through videos? Do you learn through books? Do you learn through podcasts? Like, what's your best learning style? Or maybe you need to learn best through, like, a person, like a mentor, a coach, a trainer. But figure out your learning style. And then just start dissecting. Like, there's so much great information. You can learn from...
• 21:11
  John Maxwell and some of the greatest leadership trainers in the world for free or for a $20 book. It doesn't take a lot. Kelly said he learned sales from Zig Ziglar. But Zig Ziglar wasn't coming into his house every week and training him on what to do.
• 21:29
  He learned by consuming the content. And so whatever your learning style is, for whatever it is that you want to learn, you're not that far away. This is part of the belief being the biggest problem. You're not that far away from being a completely different and better version of yourself. Whatever skill set you need to learn is completely learnable and often for free if you just are willing to put in the work to do it.
• 21:54
  So wherever you learn best, go and do a search and say leadership and see what pops up and start to digest it. And the first video may not be the best video. And I mean, I think we have some awesome videos on the channel, but but but it doesn't have to be my channel. Go anywhere. Go on YouTube. There's probably tons of videos about leadership that if you just spent a bunch of time consuming it, investing in it, not wasting time, then you'll be you'll you'll start to learn.
• 22:23
  But the most important thing is like the application, right? So you watch a sales video by Zig Ziglar and he tells you how to do something cool. Nothing changes until you start to apply what he told you to do.
• 22:35
  There's lots of people who have all the information, but then they don't have the courage to then go act on the information. So if Zig is telling you his story and you get inspired, cool. How is that going to change the next pitch that you show up to? Or how is it going to change the time you show up to work or how many calls you're going to do? Something has to then change from the information. If information alone was enough...
• 22:58
  then the academics of the world would be the most successful people of all time. Like they have all the knowledge, right? But a lot of it is practical knowledge, not applied. So you need to then take that information and apply it into your life, into your business so you can start getting different results.
• 23:14
  What's been a book that you've read that – what's your favorite book? Let's put it that way or your most inspirational book. Mine was The Four Agreements. I recently got this book of mistakes. What has been impactful to you? Historically, I would have said The Four-Hour Workweek.
• 23:34
  And that not because of wanting to work four hours and Tim Ferriss doesn't work four hours a week either. Right. So it's like it's not the point that you I wasn't attracted by. I just want to live on a beach and not really do any work. But the idea of just delegating and just all this stuff, virtual assistants at the time when it came out was just not was was not happening. Like nobody was doing this. So that really opened my eyes at the time.
• 24:02
  If I had to pick a recent book, well, two that come to mind, the best books in the past year for me. One was Your Most Important Number by Lee Benson. That's a great short read. And I actually read it before it came out. Like he gave me the advanced copy, like the PDF before it even got to Galley.
• 24:27
  And that really changed my view on how to run my company. So this is a guy who built the $300 million business and then sold it in aerospace and now coaches other people how to be more operationally effective. So if you're building a team, we're at 43 people on my team right now. So, you know, that's one of the things that I think about is team and operations. So that book radically changed how we operate.
• 24:57
  And then the other one is 10X is easier than 2X, and that's by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy. And the idea is that their thesis is easier to grow by 10 times than it is by 2 times, which is a very visionary-y type of book. So you combine those two of having a big mission and vision and growing quickly and growing huge.
• 25:19
  Plus the operation side of scaling with with your most important number. And those two books have been really instrumental in the past year for me. I'm waiting for Kelly. Where's your next book, Kelly? What's happening here? Harder than life. The next book's going to be called easier than life, because if you adopt the principles that I'm going to outline for you, your life will be easy.
• 25:41
  I'm looking forward to the copy. I want the advanced copy. I will get you one. We just talked with the publisher just this week. We're going to start getting it done. I'm wondering how AI is going to affect books going forward. You saw Gary Vee releasing Reels yesterday saying how AI is going to change the influencer space in the next 10 years. You're not going to be able to see books.
• 26:08
  evan's beautiful face because there's going to be a mock-up of evan that's going to be plagiarizing everything that you say so it's very very interesting over the next i own an it company so i'm big into tech and i watch everything that goes on and it's like i love it and i embrace it i mean it helps me in so many ways but it's going to get really freaky because they say that there's is it 10 of the people on social media are ai generated it's insane
• 26:38
  Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the number is. I mean, I love AI. I think that's really just how you see the world. You're either scared or you're loving it. And so a lot of people are scared and you're just going to lose where you need to embrace it and adopt it and learn. And I don't know where things are going. I imagine AI influencers being a big thing, but that's not like Mickey Mouse is an influencer.
• 27:05
  Like if Mickey Mouse said, go buy this product, like you would, if Mickey Mouse made a combination with McDonald's, a Happy Meal, you would go and buy, I mean, they did, you would go and buy them Happy Meal to get the Mickey Mouse toy, right? So it's like, that's not, it's not anything new that an influencer only has to be a human. That's already existed. And it'll be interesting to see where the limits of AI are. I think, especially when there's,
• 27:34
  diagnostics or where you want something to be perfect. You want, you want the best model. You want to use AI. So like if, if a, if a surgeon can, if an AI surgeon can perform a better task than a human, I want like, I want the AI surgeon, right? Like you don't want the human error. So if there's precision, you want AI, but there's a lot of things that don't, we love the art. Like,
• 28:02
  Computers have been able to beat chess masters for a long time. But you don't watch computers play computers for chess. And chess has exploded in popularity. You want to see the humans play each other.
• 28:17
  You pick your favorite sport, baseball, football, whatever you're into. They could design robots that could be way better than Tom Brady at throwing a football. But you don't want to watch a bunch of robots play football. There's the human element and the human story and the human drama that matter. And so perfection isn't the game. It's the humanness to it.
• 28:41
  And so if you're telling the harder than life story or the Kelly Siegel story, you're not a perfect human. And the thing that makes people connect to you is the struggle and the journey and everything you had to go through to get here. And that's something that can be faked with AI. But did Mickey Mouse really have his own struggle? I mean, maybe. I don't know. So I think there's definitely room for both. You're just going for different things. Yeah.
• 29:12
  So what am I going to the AI influencer for is going to be different than what I'm going to come to Kelly Siegel for. But the humanness is the authenticity in the story. So if an AI can write your book, then the book was crap. Your story needs to matter.
• 29:30
  I feel like I just want to sit down at a fireside chat with you and just talk for hours. And just the way you and I'm gushing a man crushing on you right now, my friend. I've read the 10 X is easier than 2 X. This your most important number is I'll read it next because I'm a sponge and I'm a learn it all. And when there's somebody that's further than you, I listen. So what what's an AI hack that you because you said you love AI.
• 30:00
  a business owner's AI hack that you use that you love that you could share? So I'm very deep into AI on a lot of things. The, the, the key is like, how do you make it not scary and how do you get started? So your starting point probably is chat GPT is the easiest place to start asking questions and see, start to get some feedback and advice. So, um, yeah,
• 30:27
  If you're thinking about whatever problem you've got, like you're thinking about making YouTube videos, say, hey, I have a YouTube channel dedicated to dedication and persistence and hunger. You know, what are 10 videos that I should make?
• 30:42
  And it gives you a list of ideas. And it won't be perfect, but we're not looking for perfect yet. You have to customize it. But it gives you a starting point. Because you need to play and you need to start hacking. You need to just start getting into it. And so it's usually the easiest, most user-friendly thing to do. But some of the more advanced things that I'm doing that maybe people can connect with, even with ChatGPT, will every blood test, every DNA test that I've done,
• 31:11
  I created my own GPT that I upload. And so whenever I have a health question, I ask it, and it references all of my DNA and blood work, which is something that, like, your doctor is not doing.
• 31:26
  Your doctor has your blood test, but they're not looking at your DNA. And the guys who ever did your DNA study don't know your most recent blood work. And so anytime I have an issue, it's always referencing my most recent blood work in DNA. And so I have my own little Evan GPT that gives me some insights on how I can fix my health. Yeah.
• 31:48
  We use it for our thumbnails. Like if you look at my YouTube channel, we have a lot of AI art on the thumbnails where you can create thumbnails that have never existed before. And so it was like a bunch of Evan and different people in different scenarios that like never existed. So it's like how can you use AI is like asking how can you use the Internet? Like it's everywhere. It's going to be everywhere. Yeah.
• 32:14
  You can't ignore the internet. So you won't be able to ignore AI. So what's the starting point? I think GPT, just to make it simple and easy, I had GPT write me. I said, hey, can you – my wife was having a long day. Can you write me – and she was born in China. Can you write me a poem in Chinese for my wife?
• 32:38
  And I gave it some criteria, right? Like she's having a hard day, whatever. And it outputted this poem in Chinese. And then I had it translated to English. Like, okay, that actually, that's decent what it said. And then I started writing it. And it was too hard for me to write because the characters, I don't know how to write in Chinese characters. So it was like taking me forever to try to match the characters. So I wrote back to say, hey, can you make this simpler? Like make this five characters max.
• 33:05
  And then it did. And then that's what I did. And I wrote this thing for her and I left it on her, you know, at her desk. And so, like, GPT came up with that. So, like, whatever problem you're facing right now, GPT has an 80% solution for you. And so it's worth, like, tinkering and playing with. If you're trying to think bigger in your business, tell GPT to be Steve Jobs. I'll have conversations with Steve Jobs. Yeah.
• 33:34
  Now, is it actually Steve Jobs? No, but it's like it has all this information on Steve Jobs. So say, okay, Steve, I'll tell the GPT, you are Steve Jobs. Answer me as Steve Jobs. Okay, Steve, here's what I'm struggling with right now. And then he gives advice. What would Steve Jobs' advice be to grow a YouTube channel? That's a cool question.
• 33:52
  Right. So it's it's limited by your creativity and you get to ask questions that like you've never been able to ask before. So it's stretching your mind. Like when when people say like we can't use GPT in schools, it's making the kids stupider. I think if anything, it's making them smarter and more creative.
• 34:13
  Because most of the things we learned in school, you don't remember. But creative thinking is the most important thing. And so asking great prompts and being creative with the questions is the most important thing. We can go down that whole rabbit hole. But I think you just need to start exploring. You need to start exploring. And the easiest place to start exploring is with something that you actually care about.
• 34:35
  We talked about Tim Ferriss, and one of my favorite hacks from him was he talked about how he learns a new language. So anytime he's trying to learn a new language, instead of picking up the textbooks and memorizing, how do I go to the bus, and where is the closest bathroom, and all these questions that you don't care about, he cares about martial arts.
• 34:59
  And so he'll find whatever the local martial art is in that country and pick up the books about martial arts in that language. And it forces him to learn the language because he wants to learn about martial arts. So because he's interested in the subject, it forces him to learn the language. Where if you're just doing textbook, it's going to be a lot less effective because you don't care about asking, how do I get to the bathroom?
• 35:25
  And so same thing with AI. Find something fun, something interesting. It can be for business. It can be for your personal life. Ask it to come up with what city do you live in, Kelly? I live in Detroit and in Fort Myers. Florida, yeah. So it's like ask it for 20 date ideas in Detroit for next weekend.
• 35:47
  Yeah, it's like whatever you're it's whatever is fun. And then you start to come with all sorts of you become a kid again, you start asking all sorts of things that you never thought of before. I think once you just get started, you'll stick to it more easily.
• 36:01
  Oh, and it's, it's, you want to talk about investing in yourself is it's brilliantly smart. So you could say, what are the 20 date ideas in Detroit next week? And then you could say specific to Italian specific, and you can keep drilling down and you invest and it just, and then you make it better. I don't know if you remember, do you remember BASF? The, the, their tagline was, we don't.
• 36:25
  make the things that you use every day. We make the things that you use every day better. That's what chat GPT does for me. I got a little known fact. I've sold companies their first ever internet connection.
• 36:38
  So, you know, when we, you imagine like 26 years ago, people were asking me, what, what do I need this internet for? And we couldn't live without it. So where I'm getting at is boy, is our healthcare going to explode. We're going to live into our hundreds of it because of chat GBT. No longer are you, are we, um, yeah.
• 37:03
  silenced or only to a physician's mind now is you going to punch it in and go here's the the three things it it definitely is it's it's it's just wild i know that you and i could sit there and geek out about this all all day long i want to deep dive into something that i picked up because over and over on your website you say how you hate being in the spotlight are afraid to disappoint people and are in fact an introvert
• 37:27
  but yet here you are winning at life. What sorts of therapy do you endorse and or rituals and habits for facing your fears? Can you share with the listeners? Therapy, that's interesting.
• 37:41
  For me, it came down to a recognition that I wanted to serve. And I have an agent in New York, and he's the same agent who worked with Mel Robbins and Grant Cardone and a lot of the people in my space. And we fought for years. He's like, Evan, you need to get famous.
• 38:01
  Like, Steve, I don't want to be famous. It's like, no, you don't get it, Evan. Like, you need to be famous. Like, Steve, you don't get it. I don't want to be famous. Like, I don't have this. I don't like the spotlight. I don't have zero need to be famous. And then finally, after years, either he said it better or more likely my ears opened up to what he was actually saying was that, hey, the more people know you, the more people can hear your message. Yeah.
• 38:25
  And then that resonated more with me. It's like, hey, I'm here to serve. I'm here to help. I want people to believe in myself more, and I want people to believe in themselves more too. And so however I can show up and do that. So the connection to service is,
• 38:41
  really impacted me more than, but you're gonna have X views on your channel or whatever. Like you're gonna be front lining these events. Like I don't wanna be front lining these events, dude. That's the wrong pitch for me. I hate that stuff.
• 38:58
  But if you connected to services like, hey, these people need you and you have a message that can help them, this is why you're here. Let's go all day. I'll do it. For me, speaking isn't about the speaking. I speak to then spend six hours in the hallway afterwards. So if I go to an event, I try to speak first or as close to first as possible. And then I'll spend the next three days in the hallway just talking to people.
• 39:25
  Because I won't come up to people and say hi. I'm an introvert. Unless I know you. Like if I see you, say, hey, Kelly. But most people I won't go up and say hi. I'll never introduce myself. I won't say who I am or anything. But I speak. But I want to serve. So I'll speak. And then people will come to me and say, hey, I saw your speech. Can I ask you a question? Like that's what I live for.
• 39:50
  more than the applause or the spotlight or whatever. I just want to help in the audience.
• 39:55
  I just absolutely adore you. I know that sounds weird coming from another man, but I absolutely adore you. As I get to know you more and more, I adore you. This is the point where I'm going to plug you because I told John Gordon this when he came on my site, or on the podcast. Nobody knew who he was. He's by far one of my most favorite people. I just had dinner with him this weekend, by the way. It was phenomenal. So I want all the listeners, head over to evancarmichael.com. Check it out. In fact, go to the aforementioned YouTube channel,
• 40:25
  And subscribe. So, and I believe that you are a servant leader as I am. But all your information goes away. On your website, everywhere, everything is taken down, but one message stays. What would you want that message to be and why? Just be believe. Believe in yourself. Not even in yourself. Just believe. Like believe...
• 40:52
  You know, I guess how many it gets, I guess, like how much space you give me, Kelly, you know, if I could if I could write a paragraph or or a novel, that's what I would do. But I mean, it's just at the end of the day, it's it's believe believe in yourself, believe that what you're doing matters and is important and believe that it'll work out, you know, like that someone like you can do it.
• 41:15
  I think that's why people don't take action. So hopefully, the stuff doesn't get wiped out. But if I don't really think in terms of legacy, you know, like, I think the legacy isn't what's on the tombstone or who shows up to your funeral or whatever. It's just like what lives on in the people that you've helped.
• 41:34
  You know, like that becomes the legacy that people people watch this interview and like a little piece of this hopefully lives on in people. And in 10 years, they're telling they're telling their grandkids or whatever that that interview that Kelly did that changed my life. Like that's the ongoing legacy. Let's hope so. You're mouth to God's ears. I tell you that the depth to you.
• 41:58
  You know what I really believe is you say believe. You're emitting love, and I feel it in belief. So just keep, I don't know. Again, I think you're awesome, and I'm not gushing. I get a little bit man-crushed once in a while.
• 42:17
  You don't get to be where you are without family. Listen, if anything, like I – like when people say, oh, you're so humble. Like that's great. And yes, but that's easy for me. Like the hard thing for me is coming out of the shell. And if anything, I need to do more, right? And so –
• 42:35
  the first top 10 video I ever did was on Kanye West. And as crazy as Kanye might be now, we can dive into the story of why, but, um, you know, if anything, I need to have more bravado and more, uh, uh,
• 42:52
  You know, like your view of I'm already better than that. My let and it's just time and I'm going to crush him and take him down. I don't think that way. Like I need more of that. I need more of that of that Kelly in my life because I don't I don't default thinking that way for a lot of things. And so I need to that's what I'm always working on. The humility is easy. And if that's because I'm Canadian or my parents upbringing or whatever.
• 43:15
  Um, and so thank you, I mean, for recognizing and it's, uh, I'm, I'm more working on the other side of things. So we're going to, we got about 10 minutes left and I'm going to, I want you to unpack some things. We're going to talk some personal stuff because this is how I learn. This is how I learn. I want to know the innermost habits and what makes you tick. So, um, yeah.
• 43:41
  We get to where we are with our family. So do you have any interesting family traditions or stories you'd like to share? I don't know. About what? Where do you want to take it? So I'll give you one. I have a 15-year-old daughter. Her name is Ariana. And I have a sit-down breakfast and a sit-down dinner with her. It's just the two of us. And we do this little thing, say, what's something today that made you smile?
• 44:08
  So it's just a little tradition that we do. Nobody would ever believe big, muscly Kelly has this little angel daughter and gives her lots of love and attention. I'm just trying to give the listeners an insight to what makes you tick. And you just threw your introvert wall up at me and I'm going to break it back down.
• 44:30
  Oh, no, no, I'm good. No, no, I just want to make sure I give you the answer that you're looking for. You know, my sons have a 15-year-old son in June, and he loves Broadway. He loves production. He loves, like, singing and dancing on stage, and he's in a special school now that they're teaching drama and arts. And, like, that's the – I do not understand that world at all.
• 45:00
  But now I am. And so like every every year we have a kind of father son trip where we go to New York and we look at we go to a different Broadway show and I try to learn. You know, it's like this is this is my world where people say, is your son going to be an entrepreneur? He's like, I don't think so. Right.
• 45:19
  Probably not. You know, he's not really he's not doesn't really have an interest in that. But he loves acting and Broadway and stage work. So every year we go and we learn and go watch a different show together. And one of the things I value most about my parents is they I've got two sisters, one older, one younger, and they never told us what to do. Yeah.
• 45:42
  And I think it was because my mom, she had, she was told a lot what to do. Her parents, my mom was born in Italy. And at that time, you know, an Italian woman had a certain role and that was all your role was allowed to be. And my mom, like, kind of wasn't having that. You know, it's like, have your own career? No, that's not, you're supposed to be home. And it's like, how good is your tomato sauce? Yeah.
• 46:08
  And her parents had very high expectations of what she was supposed to do, and they didn't line up with what she wanted to do. And so I think as a rebellion from that, when she had her three kids, it's like, I'm not going to tell any of them what to do. And all three of us went on to do completely crazy different things. And so that was one of my favorite things from my parents' lessons. And so when people ask me, like, is your son going to be an entrepreneur like you? I was like, probably not. And I was like, no.
• 46:38
  whatever he wants to do as long as he's happy and chase he's got to chase something down he's got to chase some some ambition some dreams he's got to have some kind of goal but apart from that i'm not going to tell him what it is i i love that i mean i think that's the coolest thing because i have zero i can get up on stage and rah rah room and motivator i couldn't
• 46:59
  or be theatrical, but I grew up so poor that I love doing finer things that I've been to Broadway. I've gone to show. I love going to plays. I go with my daughter. I've taught her these things. So, um, we're going to talk about something that's, I don't even know where I came up with this when I wrote this right now. I did this a month ago. If it's,
• 47:19
  inappropriate. You just tell me it's, it's, it's, okay, great. There's two questions and I don't even know where I was going with them. I'm alert at all. As are you, I can tell. I, it's so funny now that I've talked to you for an hour, I really believe that what's the best advice you could give someone regarding divorce. So I got divorced. What year is it? I don't even know. Let's say 14 years ago. It's been a while.
• 47:51
  Uh...
• 47:54
  I guess there's a number of ways to slice this. I think like in the, in the moment, um, like if, if that just happened to you or you were going through it to not go through it alone, like don't suffer alone. And, uh, to you'd be shocked at how many people will come and support you and how it's not that weird. Like I thought of myself as a big failure. My parents are still together after I don't know how many years, like still now, both alive, still together. So I thought it was a failure, um, for getting divorced. Um,
• 48:23
  And the first two weeks, I really struggled to keep it all together. Maybe the first week. Again, it's hard going back. But I had to take sleeping pills for the first time in my life just to get sleep because I wasn't sleeping. And then when I started telling people, it made things so much easier.
• 48:43
  So one of the first things I did was I emailed everybody on my team and clients and anybody who I had interactions with. And I said, listen, here's what's happening in my life. I'm kind of a mess right now. And I'm still working through it. And I may drop a ball or two. So I apologize in advance. And the support was...
• 49:08
  incredible out of it and i probably did drop a ball or two nobody like massively held it against me and then people also just wanted to go for coffee and they wanted to hang out and they wanted to like i guess a sense of community that i didn't have at the time and i felt like i again introvert like i don't i don't seek out people for anything so it was really weird um
• 49:28
  But that really helped me. The first week was really rough. And then when I had some, I hesitate to even call them friends because some people were like loose connections with who then I had a life-changing conversation with over coffee because they reached out and said, hey, I'd love to, if you want to talk about it, I'd love to have a coffee with you. But I wouldn't have called them a friend before that. So that really helped kind of in the moment, I guess, in the first month, I would say.
• 49:56
  Whenever something doesn't work out, I think it also gives you a good chance for self-reflection. Okay, like why didn't that work out? And what do I want in a relationship? I'm like, I'm not stopping. I'm not going to be solo for life. That's not my goal. So what happened that went wrong in that relationship? Instead of trying to think about how do I fix it and just lament it on the past, like what can I learn to make this better?
• 50:23
  And if you look at my YouTube channel growth, on my homepage, it says like year over year channel growth. And it was really slow growth from year one to year five. I think I grew like to 2,000 or a couple thousand subscribers by year five, five years in. And then the next five years, I went from that to like a couple million.
• 50:43
  and people said what's the difference well two things happened one was i i met my agent steve and started working with him the new york guy and two is i met nina who's my current wife um and just having her in my life completely changed everything which was unexpected because i don't need i never needed anybody uh again introvert so i don't default to like you have to help me but she just wanted to help
• 51:09
  And be involved. It's like, no, no, you don't have to do that. That's fine. Like, no, no, but like, I want to. Like, what do you mean? And so, yeah, I mean, if you have a, my, my ex-wife is awesome. And like, she never discouraged anything that I was doing. She wasn't against what I was doing, but there's a difference between having somebody who is, is a dis or just neutral versus somebody who's like a cheerleader.
• 51:38
  And my Nina is definitely a cheerleader and it had a huge impact on my business and my life. It's an incredible story, brother. Thank you for sharing that. And I forgot to tell you when you're talking about how you encourage your son to be in theater and theatrics and acting and whatnot. I was and I was always told I was nothing.
• 51:58
  Literally, I would amount to nothing. I would be nothing. And then here, I just told you that I think I'm as good and will be better than Ed Milet. So you two can change. I have two more quick questions and I'll get you out of here. And, you know, and I want to tell you something and you don't know me from anybody, but if you ever need a friend, you're up the road for me. You ever need something? Holler at your boy. I'm a great listener. I've been through it all. That's harder than life, bro.
• 52:24
  I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to think about it for a second because it's overused, but I'm big into this. Are you happy? You know, I break happiness down into fulfillment and excitement. And so you can get excitement by eating a jelly donut or by jumping out of an airplane, but it's fleeting.
• 52:51
  And you can get what I see as fulfillment as much deeper. It's like the deep waves underneath the ocean versus the little waves kind of on the top. So all the work that I do typically is around fulfillment. Like I'm more chasing fulfillment than excitement.
• 53:11
  Like, I want my work to matter. I want this episode to matter, you know, like to you, to whoever listens. I it's my intention that may not happen, but it's always my intention to show up and try to create something that matters. And that is long term happiness for me. And I feel fulfilled most days.
• 53:32
  I don't know that I feel like the excitement most days, like bouncing off the wall. I can't wait to do whatever. So I guess it just for me breaks down to how you how would you define happiness? No, I just wanted to you stole the next question, which was describe it in three words. You gave me two. I'd give you a third word. Peace. Inner peace.
• 53:56
  I'm happy if I'm peaceful. I do not like it. That's why I love this conversation with you. I feel whole and peaceful. And this last little vulnerability and authenticity out of you is just, it's going to help people. So thank you. What's your relationship with God? Sorry, go ahead. What's your relationship with God? I don't know. I don't think about it.
• 54:20
  That's a weird one. And like we have like a minute left, but. Yeah, I know. I'm going to end it with, with, I'm going to, we're going to have that question another time. Maybe just you and me over coffee. What's next for you and how can the harder than life listeners best support you? I don't know. Go to the, go to the channel. I mean, honestly, go support this, make this podcast. Number one, he's trying to beat Ed guys. Let's go. Come on. You can help share it, spread it.
• 54:46
  Help Kelly get his message to the world. That helps me. My friend, it's been delightful getting to know you. I know this is going to help people. I know it's going to share. Thanks for spending some time with me. I'm glad you're sick. And wait, one last question. Did you really think that that guy, that Dallas Cowboy really didn't, that the Detroit Lion didn't, you were at the game, right? You were at the game, right? Did you really think that Dallas won that game?
• 55:12
  Listen, I am not the biggest. I don't know much about football. So I was going with the, I don't know all the rules and like the flags and like all this stuff, which is terrible because we had like insane seats. So like the best game of the year. But yeah, man. Yeah, for sure. Dallas all the way. That was, I mean, Detroit was lucky to even show up at the stadium that day. And yeah, that's all I got. I have no trash talk, dude. I'm trying, but it's pretty, it's pretty weak. Yeah.
• 55:43
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.