Latest / ok storytime / I INHERITED a fortune…and my kids are furious I won't spend it on their debt! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3157

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I INHERITED a fortune…and my kids are furious I won't spend it on their debt! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3157 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Carly.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is your host, Riley, your favorite OK Storytime host,
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: and we've got some great stories coming up from you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: I inherited a fortune, and my kids are furious I
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: won't spend it on their debt.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: It's all mine.
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: I got pregnant right out of high school. I was
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: lucky that the dad didn't run off and wanted to
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: be in the child's life. He went to college while
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: I stayed and worked at an office job. We continued
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: to date throughout the whole thing and got married when
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: he graduated from college. Took a while, but with our
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: combined incomes, we can live a decent life in the
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: middle class. I hear that doesn't exist anymore.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: The middle class.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: I had two other children with him. All of the
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: kids are adults now, and two are in college while
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: the other graduated. Each kid had a college fund of
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: about $ 50, 000.
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: Dang. That's, what? Two, what?
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: So you had three kids, so that's $ 150, 000. To the
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: kids for their college. Well, my father passed away during
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: the insanity of 2020. And in the will, I got
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: a lot of money in property. If I sold the properties,
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: I would have enough to retire right now.
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: It's a lot of money.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: I talked to my husband about it and we decided
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: to sell the properties. With the combined money, we were
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: going to put three-fourths into our retirement fund and use
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: the rest to explore the world and fund money. By
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: the way, this comes from a deleted user. If you
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: slash okay story time subreddit.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I'm Dakota.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: We're going to read this story. I have a bad
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: feeling about it, to be honest.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I'm scared.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: But, you know, we are only qualified to say what
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: we say, which is we're just talking. We only know
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: what we know. So let us know what you know
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: in the comments. And OP says, I have never left
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: the USA before, and it has been a dream to
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: see the world for such a long time. We're making
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: plans to keep working until 2023 and then go explore
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: the world for a whole year. We told our kids
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: the plan and they were upset that we weren't using
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: the money to pay for their college or their debt.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: Every kid has debt since the $ 50, 000 didn't cover everything
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: so they had to take out loans. Turned into an
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: argument and I put my foot down and said no
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: and that I'm finally going to do what I want.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: That I sacrificed enough and that I'm not giving up
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: this dream again. How much debt are your kids in, bro? Yeah.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: How did they all get in debt?
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: If $ 50, 000... Where are they going to school?
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: Dartmouth?
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Harvard?
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I feel like you could help a little bit.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you should pay 80% of your kids' debt.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: If you've got.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: You've got enough money for fun money?
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: I mean, maybe you were being a little generous when
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: you said we can retire right now. Because in my head,
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: that means you never have to make another dollar again.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: And it will never come close to running out.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: If you're not exaggerating....
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like I wouldn't want my kids to be
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: in that amount of debt.
• 3:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe not everything. Maybe not pay for everything.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: But don't be the guy who's like, well, I had
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: to walk uphill both ways in the snow. So now
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: you have to. Doesn't make any sense. My kids are
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: not happy, but my husband and I are. I just
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: wanted an outsider's perspective if I'm being a butt. And
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: there's an edit here. To answer some questions, the kids
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: are 26, 22, 21, and I'm 44. The reason the
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: inheritance was so large was my dad passed away unexpectedly,
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: and I basically got the rest of his properties and
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: retirement fund. He was retired for seven years. My family
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: only passes the inheritance down to their children and not grandchildren.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Tradition.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: Um, there is an update. So, we got in contact
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: with our financial advisor and he looked over everything. It
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: seems like everything is good and our original plan is
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: going to work. My husband and I also decided to
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: look into renting.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: Out the properties.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: But we're advised against it since both properties locations are awful.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: One is my dad's old house and another is a
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: few acres of land that's just kind of there. I
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: have no idea where it came from. We're going to
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: get a second opinion on that.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: Good.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: But for right now, the original plan is happening. I mean,
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: I'm really feeling like OP is not giving any money
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: to their kids.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I don't think they're getting anything. I think they're pulling
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: like a which what rich celebrity does this?
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: Is it? I don't know.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I'm free.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Jackie Chan.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Jackie Chan. Thank you.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I mean, but like, that's different. Jackie Chan is like.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Jackie Chan made sense.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: I mean, in a way.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Your kid's got all the advantages.
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: He's still a little bit of like, come on, Jackie,
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: but like.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: A little bit of money.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: It makes sense.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: He gave all his money to charity or something.
• 4:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: He's like, my money that I made is, does not
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: belong to you. And I think that is the right
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: way to raise your kids. If you were like one
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: of the most famous people on earth, you go. You're
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: not just going to be able to sit back and
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: wait for my money to become yours.
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  Speaker 5: It's not going to happen.
• 4:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: And this is not even what your kids are asking.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: They're just like, hey, you just got so much money.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Could you help us with our debt a little?
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, please.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: Our kids confronted us a few days ago when they
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: heard we were going through with the plan. It boiled
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: down to us telling them that, quote, they chose which
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: college to go to and that they didn't need to
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: go to a private college. Also, they chose not to
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: work during their college years. that they knew how much
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: debt they would be in, and that we are not
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: paying for their choices when they understood what they were doing.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: It was a bit harsh, but it seemed to get
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: through to them, and peace is restored in the family.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: My youngest daughter, who's still in college, is actually looking
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: into getting a job on campus. My husband and I
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: are thinking of paying to take the kids on a
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: week or two vacation before or during our trip.
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: So.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: A family vacation. My husband and I are making a
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: list of places we have to visit when we travel
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: the world. We have a few ideas, but any suggestions
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: would be appreciated. You're telling me, after all this talk
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: about how I've been wanting to travel the world forever
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: and ever.
• 5:56
  Speaker 6: You don't even know where the hell you're going? You
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: don't even have a dream plan in place. And you're like, nah, no,
• 6:03
  Speaker 6: just kidding. No, I'm not going to help you guys
• 6:05
  Speaker 6: pay off your college debt. But do you have any
• 6:09
  Speaker 6: advice on where we should go? Do you know any
• 6:12
  Speaker 6: hot spots?
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I also think it's so funny that Opie was like, Oh,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: my God. I don't even know. I don't even remember.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: My mind went blank. What do I even think was funny? Oh,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: this is crazy.
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: You had the potential for the best of both worlds,
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: Hannah Montana, here.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I think it's crazy that OP was like, this is
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: the only time that we're ever going to, like, once
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: in a lifetime. We will never be able to. Where
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: do you think that money is going to go?
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: Oh, so you're 44. Do you think that if.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: You don't spend all this money this year, it's going
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: to disappear?
• 6:45
  Speaker 7: No.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I don't think they're gonna.
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: I don't think they're spending all the money on world
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: travel in a year.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Well, but she's like... There's no way. This is a
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: once-in-a-lifetime chance. That's what she said. I mean, maybe.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: Okay, you know what? Here's my suspicion.
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: OP was in no way set up to retire from
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: all this stuff.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: That's my guess.
• 7:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: When you say that, I'm thinking $ 10 million.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think OP knows a lot about money.
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  Speaker 4: I am also not the most wizened when it comes
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: to financial matters.
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: However.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: I seem to see a pretty clear path forward where
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: everybody gets to win here, right?
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I think that OP had kids very young, maybe didn't
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: get the proper education.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's it.
• 7:24
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: No, that's it.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: My parents suddenly demanded that I pay rent, so my
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: sister offered me a way out.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Well, are you old enough?
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: This isn't just me. It includes my twin brother. My
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: brother and I, 17 male... We're an accidental pregnancy. For context,
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: our oldest sibling is 37 and has a kid who
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: goes to our high school.
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: Whoa.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: Oh, nice.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: So you were an accident.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: So you're going to school with your nephew or niece.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Our nearest sibling in age is 28. My parents always
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: were never harmful or neglectful or anything, but they were
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: kind of cold our whole childhood. My brother and I
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: will graduate high school in about a week and we'll
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: be 18 in two weeks.
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: Wow. Wow. Wow.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: I told my parents about this and they freaked out.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Maybe Don't Unalive Them.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: to r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give some good advice goofily.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: But guess what?
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: We don't have all the answers.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: We don't tell you what we would do.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: But let us know what you would do down in
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: the comments. As Opie says, I guess my mom was
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: planning to move to part time work and they needed
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: rent for my brother and I to keep up with rent.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: They said that they have provided for us our whole
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: lives and we should pay them back now that we're
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: almost adults.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: What?
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: So they were looking for another revenue source.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I guess so.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's true. They have given us everything we
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: needed for 18 years and I really don't want them
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: to be homeless if they can't afford the rent. But
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: I don't know how I would even afford to live
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: with them.
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Am I the a-hole?
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: Are you the a-hole for what?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not. That's not what parents do. If that was
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: the case, Savannah, you know how many lunches you owe me?
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Because I helped get you this job. If it wasn't
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: for me, you wouldn't be working here, and you owe
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: me that.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: I owe you a million lunches.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: You owe me all the lunches you can provide. That's
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: not how that works.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: I gave you my lunch yesterday.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: You did.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: It was very good.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: No, it wasn't.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: It was okay. It was good the first four bites,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: and then the second four bites was like, oh, what
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: are we doing here?
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what happened.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: It was weird.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: There is an edit. My brother and I both have
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: some savings so we could conceivably pay rent for a
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: few months. I also feel guilty moving in with my
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: sister because she has three little kids and a cat
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: to take care of and I don't want to pull
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: any extra strain on her. None of my siblings have
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: a great relationship with their parents so my parents won't
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: ask them for help.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Hmm. I see some common things happening here.
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: So your oldest brother's 37, second to youngest sibling, 28,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: now 17. Seems like they didn't probably want the second
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: to oldest sibling. And that was an accident too.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: I mean, it just seems like these parents are horrible,
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: which is why no one, like everyone's no contact with
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: them now.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I would like to talk to the first sibling. Hey,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: were you supposed to be here too? Oh, you weren't?
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: Okay, great.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: They've been saying that to everyone their whole lives.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There's a second edit here.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: I've been talking it over with my brother and we're
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: going to move out as soon as we legally can.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Thanks, guys.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: And there is an update.
• 10:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I would be cooking for sister, cleaning for sister, babysitting
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: for sister.
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Doing the things around the house you can to kind
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: of pay for it.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: And then also, well, they're also going to college as well.
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: Great.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: That means one person can do night. One person can
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: do day. And they can switch off and they're basically
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: the same person.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: That's just really hard. Here's an update. Hey, folks. It's
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: been like three weeks and many, many things have happened.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: I graduated high school.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: Go me.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I turned 18 and I moved out. I finally feel
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: sister the day after my birthday and I've been living
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: really weird. They do all of this stuff in her
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: Never done it once until now. My sister and her
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: fiancé carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: My parents never did that. My oldest nephew, he's 10,
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at,
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: but my sister just helped him clean it up and
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: told him to grab a new can from the pantry.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: That was weird. My parents were never that chill. When
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I was a kid, I would see these perfect families
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: on TV. Shout out to Dinosaur Train LMAO. And my
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: That it was all made up for TV. That real
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: parents don't take that much of an interest in their kids'
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: lives and interests. I believed them until now. That's so sad.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: In the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: her fiancé spend hours making model planes with my oldest
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: nephew or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: That stuff never happened when I was a kid. My niece,
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: she's four, woke up in the middle of the night
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: last week crying about something. Instead of telling her to
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: shut the F up and go to bed, my sister's
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: fiancé got up and sat with her until she fell asleep.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: the norm. Anyway, both my brother and I are doing
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot,
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: he's going to culinary school, and everyone seems to really
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew...
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: and have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: I think I've ever played in my life. If anyone
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: knows what Titanfall 2 is, please help me out. I've
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: been an adult for less than a month, and these
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: children and their newfangled video games already confuse me. This
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: is all just a very long-winded way to say thanks.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: have moved out. My savings would basically be drained and
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: thank you. Now, I guess it's time to see if
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: I can figure out how to do an update post.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Edit.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: Shout out to my sister for basically raising me for
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: 12 years and also being an amazing parent. I could
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: just go and say all this to her face, but
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy.
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: I'm done.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Kalani, how many times am I going to have to
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: say it before you accept that you're a good person?
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Every time I go to thank you for giving up
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: space in your house for me and Cam, you say
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: that if you didn't help us out, it would have
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: been someone else. I get that you have strangely low self-esteem,
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: as evidenced by your am I in the a-hole post,
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: person and move on so I can finally thank you?
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Seems like it all turned out great then.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: This is sweet.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: I like the little happy ending and it's about time.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: I mean, you've gone through your entire childhood to get
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: to this moment.
• 14:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Like clarity and seeing that, Oh, what I was in
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: was not a normal household.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: Got it.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not. It's wild. I'm glad that you're in a
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: better spot. This is what good parenting does where you
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: can just be a part of a family and it
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: doesn't feel like, Oh, I'm the, I'm a nuisance.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: You're not walking on eggshells.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I kind of live with a family for a little bit.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Live with two families. I felt like an eggshell because
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: I was just kind of there. I didn't know what
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: to do or how to be an adult yet because
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: I never was an adult. But now if I had
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: to move in with someone, I'd be like, okay, I
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: know what I need to do. Know how to handle it.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: But you're in a good spot, Opie.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: All good, dude.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: I think you'll be okay. I still think you should
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: definitely go to therapy.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: When you can. School counselor.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: That's true. School counseling. They do help. Uh, there are
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: some comments from OP Sister replying to the post. So
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: you can't come downstairs to compliment me, but you can
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: come downstairs to tell me to go upstairs to get
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: my phone and then come back downstairs so you can
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: see my reaction to you complimenting me? I see how
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: it is. Honestly, I'm just happy you're here. I told
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: you before, me and Michael and Daniel have been waiting
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: so long to move you guys out of that house.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: I'm just the one who has the available rooms. If
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Michael wasn't overseas, it would have been him. If Daniel
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: had another room, it would have been him. But anyways,
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: I love you both. It's been really nice to have
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: some extra hands around the house, especially with Cam and
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: his cooking. I see why he's going to culinary school.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: The kids love you.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: Ethan thinks you guys are great. An heiress cat likes you,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: and that's pretty darn rare. Keep being the person you are,
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: and I think this arrangement is going to work out fantastic.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: There is an edit. Okay, everyone, just come over, and
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: we can have pie and hot chocolate. Love you all,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: and remember, who your family is doesn't define you. OP responds,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: so you can write this whole sappy, super sappy reply
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: to me, but you can't look up and say it
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: to me. I'm literally sitting on the same freaking couch
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: as you. Cute. That's actually super cute.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Look at that. We're coming over now.
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, Opie, they're for hot chocolate.
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: Are you kidding me?
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I like peach cobbler pie.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: I love hot chocolate. Aw, well, Opie, I'm glad it
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: worked out for you and your... I almost said son.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: For you and your brother.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: It's a perfect Reddit story.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for real. We don't get a lot of these,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: but I'm glad this one was a happy ending.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story, and we got
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: another one coming right up.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: My parents were absent my whole life. Now they're trying
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: to invade my wedding?
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: Back off. You weren't even here.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: I am suing my parents for trying to invade my
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: wedding party.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: Whoa.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's a choice.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: You may understand I, 29 Mel, do not have the
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: best relationship with my parents. I was mostly raised by
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: both sets of grandparents, uncles and aunts, because both of
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: them were always on work trips together. They both worked
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: as cruise guides. That's where they met. And they would
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: leave for a month, come back for three days, and
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: leave for another month. I can only remember a handful
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: of times as a classic family portrait sitting, eating at
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: a dinner table in my first 15 years. When I
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: was 15, they decided to retire and manage a local
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: tourism company with the support of both sets of my grandparents.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Even then, they did not show interest in me. I
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: would be off for a week without saying anything, and
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: they would not notice. They never showed up to any
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: major events. All the other family members did, and they
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: would be there, though. By the way, this comes from
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Am I the Throwaway Charges? And if you want to
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: spread your own stories, you know where to go. I'm Riley.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: I'm Savannah.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: And Savannah and I are going to read this story goofily.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: If you have anything you'd like to add, please add
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: it down below. In my last year, I met a girl,
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: 29 female, in my last year of medical school, 2015.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: We became a couple and had a slow but steadily
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: building relationship. My family instantly liked her and she was
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: a part of ours. Her family also was really warm
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: to me. My parents did not show any signs of
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: interest in meeting her until we had dated for three
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: years and it was just a 30-minute coffee?
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: I mean, it makes sense. They don't really care about you.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: They're not going to care about her, so.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: We decided to get married, and with that announcement, my
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: parents became the nosiest people I have ever known. My
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: mom started to call what we were planning my big day.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: My dad was talking about the responsibilities of being a
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: husband and a dad, like he had really ever been
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: one to me. The truth is, we were only planning
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: a courthouse wedding for families and then a party with
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: our friends and cousins. I told them this, and they
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: were furious. They tried to pick fights with us for
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: three weeks by calling us, trying to visit us, and
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: mocking every relative alive, including my in-laws. After not seeing
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: any interest, they stopped. In July of 2019, I got married.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: They came, sat in the background. My grandmothers were the
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: ones in the aisle with me, just said congratulations, and left.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: For a wedding party... we were originally planning to include
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: only our friends and cousins. But her uncle has a
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: big farmhouse, literally a mansion. So we invited 100 people
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: plus our families, except my mom and dad. Well, it
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: seems like all of those people that were there spent
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: way more time than your mom and dad.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Did with you.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they probably also like gave you gifts and
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: were supportive of you and loving and caring and your
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: parents are i don't know what they want.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: They just want enough for a participation award that's cool
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: hey we showed up we were there yeah they.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Show up and say congratulations son And then leave.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Look, we were there for the best two days of
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: your life. When you were born, when you got married.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: What else do you want from me?
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: Dang. It's true.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: While we were there chilling before the party, my dad
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: called me and said, it was only friends you said.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: How can you exclude your parents? We are coming and
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: we are not going to leave. He was mad. And
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: I informed the security of the house not to let
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: them in and call the cops if needed. They tried
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: to bust in with their car by trying to break
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: the gate and they were arrested for the night. We
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: also got a restraining order. Oh my gosh.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, yeah, they can't do that.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: You said no.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: And they're like, we'll just bust through the gate.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Literally.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: You can't bust through the gate with your cruise ship, dad.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: It's not how this works.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: The case is not urgent, so it's been going to
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: be seen this year. But all of our family says
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: we are going too far by pressing charges on them.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: We don't think so. And it is causing a fight
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: between us and our families. As a personal reason, I
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: want them to suffer from the loneliness and the sadness
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: they made me feel. Am I the a-hole? Dear Reddit.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Edit to the infos. I am not from an English-based country,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: and I am from the EU. I am half Turkish
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: and half French. Bonjour, mes amis. hepatitis, merhabaha. I have
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: to open the court if I ever want to have
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: a permanent restraining order. I also work with an attorney
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: who is experienced on the issue, and it is mostly
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: certain that they will get a minor jail detention, which
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: will probably be into a fine. There is nothing as
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: civil or criminal court if there is even damage on
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: the property in France. This event happened in France. I
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: can get a negotiator though, and it seems the more
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: legit way. If we did not rent the place from
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: her uncle, which we rented for two and a half pounds,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: but there is a legal paper so it is rented,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: he would be the one to open the court. But technically,
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I rented the place for the night, so it shall
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: be me. That's why they're going hard in the paint.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: It seems like you found a legal loophole and you're
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: trying to punish your parents.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, just know that lawfully going through all
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: of that, it's going to be a lot of money,
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: a lot of chaos, and you might not get what
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: you want in the end.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Also, they broke the door, caused some damage to the property.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: We have pressed two charges on them. intimidation, and damage
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: to the property. They broke the door and caused some
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: real damage to the gardener's shed. I am not going
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: to act as a good guy. I want vengeance, and
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I know it's petty, but I want it. I want
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: them to pay for what they have done, and I
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: want them to suffer in front of my eyes, and
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I want to be the one who gives the pain.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I have some negative sides, and I can be really
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: vindictive I am in therapy, though, since medical school, and
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: it's been really helping me to accept that side of mine.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Accept the vengeful side of yourself?
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: I literally was thinking that entire time you're talking, I
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: want to cause them pain. I want to see in
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: their eyes that they are suffering.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Is Darth Vader your therapist? Yeah, like, I'm... Is Voldemort there, too, helping?
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: What's happening here?
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Just a little concerned.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: I don't know if your therapist is the right one
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: for you, if they're telling you that.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, go ahead. Press those court cases. Press them. Sue them.
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: Don't give up.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: No mercy.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: I guess we also don't know the entirety of the
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: history behind all this.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: We got a pretty good idea, though.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, these parents are crazy, but to want
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: to like cause them pain and suffering is that also
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: doesn't do good on your conscious.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: It seems like it's helping him through therapy. I had
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: some traumas and therapy really helped me to embrace them
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: and use them to my advantage. I know this might
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: be a real a-hole-ish thought, though, but I can't help
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: feeling it. I want to step into the court, puke
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: all my anger, wrath, and vengeance in on them publicly,
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: and then leave. I dream of that moment coming, so
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: villains are made.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like the beginning of a villain arc, OP.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think you just want everyone to see
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: your side of the story. I think you want people,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: you want everyone on your side, and for them to
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: see what you have lived through. Which is not a
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: bad thing, but you also can't just do it in
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: a way that's going to, like, I don't know, like,
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: end these people's lives, you know?
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right. It's crazy. Also, my parents do not engage
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: with the larger family that much, except for funerals and weddings.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: It is a really rare thing to see them. I
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: know my big family... Want the best for all of us,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: but I can't want the best for my parents. I
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: just can't.
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: Update.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: OP go balls to the walls and fighting his parents.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think there's any stopping him, truthfully.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: This is wild.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: His mind has been made up.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: He's going to do it.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: He's been dreaming of this moment, apparently. So I don't
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: see him chickening out now. Yeah. Unfortunately, he's about to
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: angry vomit all over that courtroom.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Literally, that's exactly.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: All over his parents. The most attention he'll ever get
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: from them.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, in a courtroom. Dang.
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: Update.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: It turns out I am not the only one in
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: the family who is in on this subreddit. One of
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: my younger cousins is also active in the subreddit and
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: he has seen this post. He called all of the
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: family and in an hour they made his surprise visit
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: to our house. We cried. I cried. They cried. All
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: of us cried. Also, my in-laws were there. We live
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: five minutes away from them. They said they were afraid
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: that I would act in a harmful way to myself,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: my parents, and them. With the character limit, it is
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: hard to express all the story, but my nickname was Devil.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Help me out here. Lee Diable. In middle school, due
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: to uncontrollable anger flashes and fights, I was a part of.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: My wife knew all of this, but my in-laws were
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: a little shocked with this info. But they got over it.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: They understand I am a different person now. Also, my
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: father-in-law is not the best person with anger management either.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: I thought I had left a lot of that part
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: behind me, but it looks like I did not. What
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I've noticed with people when it comes to traumatic events
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: is whenever something happens at a certain time, their brain
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: sort of gets stuck there. So like if they get
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: angry at a young age, whenever another angry thing like
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: this happens and it brings up past stuff, they kind
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: of revert back to that age. So if you had
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: a lot of things happen in middle school when you're
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: really angry, That part of yourself is probably coming back
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: up because past traumas that are related to what happened
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: to that time is what's happening in court.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've also seen a lot of times where kids
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: or teenagers or something are like, I'm never going to
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: grow up to be my dad. I hated him. And
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: then they grow up and they're just like them. And
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: it's like, oh.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: That's sad.
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Whenever I get angry or whenever I get to a
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: part where I need to confront someone, I shut down.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Because that was the safest thing to do whenever I
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: was younger. It was like, do I, do I want
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: to yell that? Or do I just want to kind
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: of like not say anything? Whenever someone like comes at
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: me aggressively, I'll just, we're not doing anything. I'm working
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: on that. It's me.
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: It's tough. It's tough.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: The court has yet to be seen, but I won't
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: be there. My attorney will be there to represent me,
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: and that is going to be it. On the court day,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: I will be at a camping site trying to find
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: my inner peace. We are all on board for a
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: restraining order, but I will find another way to satisfy
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: my desire for revenge, and I will try to live
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: my life. I need to move on. Dude, honestly, good
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: thing he posted that, because if he didn't, his family
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: wouldn't have came together for him.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and good for the cousin... calling everyone being like,
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: we got to do something about this. And I feel
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: like there was a very cathartic moment there with your family.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Everyone's crying, you know.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: Another wholesome ending. Holy cow.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: Thank you guys. Also, my wife knew, but we hope
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: we didn't need it after court. I just want this
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: to pass and open a new page. The court is
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: in 23 days. I will try to post an update here.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: The final update. So I thought I would update you
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: after the court, but some stuff happened. They tried to
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: invade our house while we were at work. On September 3rd,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: we were called by the police, saying that our alarm
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: system alerted them, and they found my mom in the
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: car waiting, my dad trying to escape. With all of
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: the legal files... relating to the court they had tried
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: to reach all the family but no one answered their
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: calls as normal they invaded the house to take our
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: papers about the courts i don't know what it will
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: give them still since they invaded our privacy and broke
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: their temporary restraining order the court will press charges and
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: they are currently in home detention with electronic cuffs what
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: they have chronic illnesses so prison is not the best
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: option in this state of the world electronic cuffs at
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: home What does that even mean?
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: I think, like, under house arrest, kind of. Like, they
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: have the ankle bracelet? That's what I'm thinking.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Maybe they call them electric cuffs, like, somewhere else. But
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: I'm thinking the ankle bracelet is what he's talking about. Like,
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: they're basically under house arrest. Like, they can't go anywhere.
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's like, uh.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: What is it?
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: Am I wrong?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, they're just.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: They just have those.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Could be wrong.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: They're just always in those cuffs.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I doubt that.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Also, you were right. I have started more rigorous therapy
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: sessions and got a month off of work to get
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: myself on my feet. I have issues so deep and
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: they are surging. But I'm going to be fine. My
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: wife has become my greatest support and my family is
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: helping me with everything. So that's it. That's when family
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: actually comes in and helps. Yeah.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: And I'm glad you have a support system now because
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: obviously you had nothing growing up and And now you've
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: harbored anger, resentment, and revenge towards these people who are
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: supposed to be your role models.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: The reason I think he has anger is because growing up,
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: that's the only thing that would get recognized in his
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: house with his parents. He's probably never angry around his
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: grandparents because he didn't need to display that. I have
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: a cousin and he's a little rowdy. And the reason
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: he's rowdy is because his parents don't really pay much
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: attention to him.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the only way they'll get attention. And it's sad.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: Because they'll accept whether good or bad, as long as
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: they're getting attention, they, you know, they'll make a scene.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: And then they're labeled as the bad child. And it's like, no, actually,
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: they just need, they need a little guidance.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: A little acceptance.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: A little talk.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Well, that's the end of that story, guys. Hey, this
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: is Riley, the new Californian here. We're going to get
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: back to these stories, but here's three minutes of ads
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: from our sponsors.
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: My parents' wealth made me feel replaced, so I confronted them.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: You love your money more than me.
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: So, growing up, my 26 female parents didn't really have
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: any money. My childhood was still happy and loving, but
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: I can remember specific instances where things I wanted to do,
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: play hockey, own a bike, just weren't feasible because my
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: parents couldn't pay for it. I started working at 14
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: and moved out at 18 to, in my mind, ease
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: the load. My mother is a champion. She's worked so
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: hard in her career, and in the last couple of years,
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: she has become very, very successful and is now worth
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: more money than any of us could fathom.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: That's actually very impressive.
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: I really can't put it into words how incredibly proud
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: I am for all she's accomplished, and I don't think
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: there's anyone that deserves it more. My problem, however, comes
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: in the form of this nagging bitterness that I can't shake.
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: My brother, 22, still lives at home, and they're all
• 31:54
  Speaker 5: just having the time of their lives. Expensive dinners, going
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: to the casino. He's got a brand new custom-built PC,
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: and the basement, his room, completely redone.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Man, you should have stayed at home.
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, sounds like it. Honestly, the list goes on. By
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: the way, this story is going to keep going on,
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: and this comes from you slash Muffin Bacon. And if
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to r
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: slash OK Storytime subreddit. My name's Mike.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: And I'm Savannah.
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: And we're here to give you advice, but we don't
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: know all the answers. So if you guys have any advice,
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: sound off below. But as OP says... I went to
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: visit last weekend, and their weekend entertainment is online gambling.
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: So I sat there and watched them lose around $ 2, 000
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: in bets.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: That is actually pretty concerning.
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: And it was just no big deal, MBD. If I
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: have more than $ 100 after payday, I am so goddamn
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: proud of myself. It was mind-blowing. My mom must have
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: noticed I was uncomfortable because she made me an account
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: to that site and deposited $ 50 so we could all
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: have fun together.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Slap in the face. She's like, oh, well, we're doing $ 2, 000,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: but you could have $ 50.
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: Now it's all my mom's money, so how she spends
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: it should not be my concern at all, but I
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: can't stop feeling resentful. On Thursday, she informed me that she,
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: my dad, and brother had booked a weekend to a
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: casino resort And could I please watch the kitten they
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: just got last week?
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to go, but that does suck that
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: you're left out.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: It just feels like I'm an afterthought because I'm not
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: in the immediate vicinity. I have really awful anxiety and depression,
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: and my mom has been a huge part of it
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: in my ongoing effort to get well. But since the money,
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: it just feels like she isn't there. Whenever I call
• 33:52
  Speaker 5: just looking to chat and feel better, she can't talk.
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: And if the problem is material, groceries, vet, bill, house maintenance,
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: then she offers to pay and assumes the matter is closed.
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: I feel like such a petulant child, but I just
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: want to talk to my mother.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Wait, so just to clarify, OP is saying that she
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: has been paying for things for.
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: Interesting.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: So maybe the problem seems to be just not feeling included.
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: I just want to go home and hang out watching
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: YouTube videos like we used to. Not stare at an
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: online slot machine and cheer when we win five bucks
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: for six hours.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: That's right, not bad, bro.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: Listen, you won?
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm hearing.
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: No better dopamine hit than seeing when you actually win, bro.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I guess this is, I'm OP and you guys are
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: OP's family in this scenario because I'm starting to understand.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: OP could go to these.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Casinos, but doesn't want to.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: She chooses not to.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: And it feels like the family probably knows, so they
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: don't even invite her. Because I also wouldn't want to
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: do that. I'd be like, hey, can we do anything else?
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: Okay. Well, we got some comments here for OP. One
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: comment says, I hate to say it. But with the
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: way they're spending money, they may run themselves right into
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: a circle back where they started.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Financially irresponsible.
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: This sounds like a gambling problem than just a fun hobby.
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: Are you in therapy right now? I know it can
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: be pricey.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: They're like, I know you're broke.
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: But your insurance or work might cover it. If not,
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: since your mom seems so willing to pay for things,
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: I'd ask her to pay for it.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Also the perfect way to like, you know, open up
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: that conversation. Hey mom, can you pay for therapy? She goes,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: what for? Beat you. You. Yeah, you caused this.
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: Well, Opie says, this is such a thorough response. Thank you.
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: In terms of gambling all the money away, this is
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: something they've done forever. My father had some health issues
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: and had to retire early. And since then, he mostly
• 36:03
  Speaker 5: just hangs out throughout the week, and plays poker online
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: on the weekends. He has a hard stop. The example
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: I gave, 2K, is the hard stop on their 10K account.
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: Though habitual after a few drinks, it's not likely that
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: it will get out of hand. I was in therapy
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: for a long time until my doctor told me that
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: it has to be hormonal. She essentially said that after
• 36:26
  Speaker 5: 10 years of therapy, with little improvement, medication was our
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: only choice.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's looking at you and she's like... You're screwed, man.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Gotta medicate this. I can't help you anymore.
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: It was a last resort because my mother calls them
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: crazy pills. My father worried because his sister committed unaliven
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: shortly after being prescribed medication in the 80s. However, after
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: I was medicated, my father remarked he was remorseful that
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: we hadn't tried it sooner. On the whole, I am
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: at my peak in regards to treatment, but I still
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: feel that an unbiased opinion from strangers on the internet
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: may help.
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: LOL.
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: Seeing them outside of a sleepover at their house is
• 37:07
  Speaker 5: out of the question. I know that sounds stupid, but
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: it's a boundary they've drawn, so I'm a bit stuck.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Wait, seeing them outside of what?
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: A sleepover at their house.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: Wait, so they.
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: They cut off ties with OP.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: This changes things.
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that changes a lot.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: They said that they could never hang out with you
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: outside of you coming and sleeping over at their house.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: Probably because OP is probably a downer. Like Sophia over
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: there saying like, you guys shouldn't do this. You guys
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: shouldn't do this. I would never go and do that.
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh my God.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Try to look out for your financial well-being.
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: My bad.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: That was in the past.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Now we don't gotta worry.
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: Second comment says, it sounds like the issue is less
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: the money and more that your parents show favoritism towards
• 37:46
  Speaker 5: your brother. You're the odd person out, and I wonder
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: if you always have been. Maybe the money is just
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: making that issue clear. OP. Both my brother and I
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: have had mental health issues, and admittedly, my parents have
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: been much more involved with this treatment than they have
• 38:01
  Speaker 5: ever been with mine. I think that's solely because they
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: had gone through it all with me and thought, with
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: this one, we'll get it right. I feel like I
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: may be to blame in part for pulling away so much.
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: I grow up on stories on how my mom moved
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: out at 16 and Made her own way, so I
• 38:16
  Speaker 5: thought I should do the same. I would garner the
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: same respect. The fact it's done the opposite is really
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: confusing to me, and I guess that's why I'm here.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: I still think the best thing to do is to
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: talk to them.
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: I mean, I guess, I guess.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Do you think, like, maybe the family doesn't like OP
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: or has kind of feelings against OP because she moved
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: out at 18?
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: Um, I mean, I definitely can see... I can see
• 38:43
  Speaker 5: like them getting upset, but to like.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: To like fully cut off.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: For the parents to cut them out is like crazy,
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: you know?
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: No, it is weird. It is weird.
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: We have an update. So it took a few days
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: to digest what a lot of people were saying. At
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: the end of the day, I hope to approach the
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: situation as me wanting to be close to my family
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: again and basically trying to ignore the money part. For
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: the next couple of weeks, if I wanted to talk
• 39:12
  Speaker 5: to my mother, I made sure to call at a
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: time I knew she wasn't swamped with work, either before
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: she left for the day or before going to bed.
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: And if anything to do with the money came up,
• 39:20
  Speaker 5: it was treated as a side note. Oh, dad won
• 39:23
  Speaker 5: 4K last night online? That's awesome for him. Where are
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: you traveling for work tomorrow? Have you been there before?
• 39:29
  Speaker 5: are you looking forward to it and she's just sort
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: of opened up i told her how i was feeling
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: slighted fully addressed the issue and even told her how
• 39:37
  Speaker 5: i felt this the slight favoritism towards my brother because
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: he was present was getting to me my mother is
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: an extremely intelligent woman reading back on my post i
• 39:45
  Speaker 5: think i stress this a lot but she really really
• 39:48
  Speaker 5: is We had our one super feelsy chat and moved on,
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: but she's been going out of her way to show
• 39:54
  Speaker 5: me she's serious this time with actions, not just words.
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: I was over recently and before she dropped me off
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: at home, we live about an hour away from each other,
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: she stopped at a store and remarked, your dad and
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: brother lost $ 600 last night online. What kind of messed
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: up logic is it that I can't afford to buy
• 40:11
  Speaker 5: you some groceries?
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: Oh, okay.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: Wait, that's really sweet. So she was like, yeah, I
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: realized that we've been losing all of this money gambling
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: and clearly I can spare that money, but like I couldn't,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: I should be buying you stuff too. That's nice.
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah. That's a way to bank up for it.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: They had the talk. They had the feelsy talk. And
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: I'm glad that they did because now you understand.
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: Our upcoming Christmas plans, which I was dreading, are now
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: actual plans. She's picked out a theme for before and
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: after dinner, neither which involved gambling, and is incredibly focused
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: on us spending time away from a computer screen. But
• 40:51
  Speaker 5: let's discuss. I mean, we kind of already.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: I think this is an improvement.
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely it's turning itself around, which is good.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I love that you had that conversation. I
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: love that she actually listened to you because all you
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: wanted was just some quality time that didn't involve gambling.
• 41:08
  Speaker 5: So to wrap this up, our gift exchange is a
• 41:11
  Speaker 5: $ 20 limit. And so she found some game online so
• 41:14
  Speaker 5: that nothing is tailored towards anyone. And we all feel included.
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: She's been providing ideas for the wedding planning and even
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: called me the other day saying, well, you call me
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: all the time and I was thinking about you. So
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: I thought I'd call you just to chat. Overall, I'm
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: kind of stoked about where this is going. It's only
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: been less than a month, but I've never known my
• 41:34
  Speaker 5: mother to commit to something and not stick with it,
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: so I'm remaining hopeful. Thanks for all the insight, personal experiences,
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: and words of advice for coping. I read every single
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: one of those comments over and over for weeks, so
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: I figured some kind of update was warranted. First comment says,
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: Seems like the gambling and problem-sized elephant in the room remains.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can't do anything. That's not OP's business.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: You can't tell someone, hey, like an adult, don't gamble.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Because they're going to do that. It's their money.
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: Lead a horse to water.
• 42:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: And also, I mean, it is.
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: Lead a horse to a table.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: Lead a horse to a gambling table. He's going to
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: bet black. But the mom worked hard for that money,
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: so she is entitled to use it however she wants.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: We're going to go on to the next one.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: My daughter's father bribed her with junk food to win
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: her over, so I took him to court.
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: Man, that's some sweet stuff.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Trigger warning for eating disorders. Positive ending, though. My daughter, 15,
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: is 5'6, and the last time she weighed herself at
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: the doctor's office, she was 238 pounds. She is morbidly obese.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: She was always a chubby kid who loved food and
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: hated activity, no matter how much her dad and I
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: tried to get her to dance... play sports, go on
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: walks with our dogs, etc., she would refuse. I regret
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: not taking her to a nutritionist earlier, but I thought
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: that she would go into puberty and her weight would
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: eventually be okay. Unfortunately, when she was 11, her dad
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: and I decided to get a divorce. No special reason,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: it just wasn't working. We co-parent well, we're friendly, we
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: go on trips with our daughter, etc., but the divorce
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: impacted her negatively at first. She started gaining a lot
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: of weight around that time. So we decided to take
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: her to a nutritionist who recommended therapy for her. She
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: initially lost about 15 pounds, but she was already very
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: dependent on food. Now she's got a food problem and
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: her emotional eating was something she used to cope with
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: the divorce until she adjusted. But now it's all about
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: compensating for not having friends, compensating for not being pretty.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: compensating for not being liked by boys. She still goes
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: to therapy regularly. She doesn't suffer from depression or any
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: health condition that might cause her weight gain. She is
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: simply addicted to food and at her vulnerable age, mentioning
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: her weight to her makes her very upset and uncomfortable.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Her dad and I both know this and it's been
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: causing arguments between us. I'm a very active, fit person
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: and I try to lead by example. No junk food
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: allowed in the house. I cook as much as I
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: can or I get healthy meal delivery. And this makes
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: me the bad guy. By the way, this comes from
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: a deleted user. And if you want to submit your
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: I'm Mike.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: And I'm Savannah.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: And OP continues. She's into the whole body acceptance movement,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: and she sold the story to her dad, who now
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: allows her to raid his pantry, and they eat junk
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: together just so he wouldn't upset her because she's daddy's
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: little girl. This is tricky. This is tricky because Opie
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: and her ex-husband are no longer together, so they can't
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: be on the same page, or they should be, but
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: they're not.
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah. And this is Opie talking about her sister,
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: I think?
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: This is her daughter.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: Her daughter is overweight, and they've been trying to help
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: her with a nutritionist. But obviously, she's very, like, she's 16,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: so she's very sensitive.
• 45:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, there's probably a lot on her mind right now.
• 45:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: Well, I understand, like, the whole accepting your body. You
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: want to. You want to be able to be accepting
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: of yourself and whatnot. But it just comes to a
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: point where if it's going to affect your health, though,
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: then it's, you know, like... physical and mental because i'm
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: sure she is in like a lot of like mental
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: anguish as well over it because i.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: Mean but uh i i feel like maybe kind of
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: less focus on the weight and more focus on hey
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: you know i absolutely think that you should accept your
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: body but also like i want you to be able
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: to exercise and you know um not feel or just
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: like feel okay like running around playing like Like focusing
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: on that of like just feeling good in your body
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: rather than being like you have to be this certain weight.
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's definitely a habitual thing. You got to change that.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: He's happy that he gets to be the good guy.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: And I'm the villain who doesn't want her daughter to
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: settle because I want her to live past 35. I
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: encouraged her to love herself. I want her to embrace
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: how amazing she is. But I don't want her to
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: accept her condition as something normal that can't be changed.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: I'm tired seeing how miserable she is because of her weight.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: and I'm tired of thinking about all the diseases that
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: could unalive her. I found a great weight management treatment facility,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: edited instead of camp, because it's very different from the
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: infamous fat camps. For teens, that's six hours away. I've
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: done my research, but her dad doesn't want to sign...
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: for her to go there from January to July. Oh,
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: that is a little concern.
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: Well, okay.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: Those types of camps or programs can be good or
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: like very, very bad.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: It's like, you got a 50, 50 shot. It could
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: be like a mind opener and be like, oh my gosh. Yeah.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: And they could really enjoy it. Or it could be like,
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: I am so ashamed.
• 46:50
  Speaker 5: It's crazy. If you got to take that gamble, you know,
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: but like.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: And a lot of those camps are like, like just
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: like child, like, teen child camps where you send your
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: kid there or whatever, um, for some sort of program,
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: they will often make the kids act like they're having
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: a good time whenever the parents come or like send home,
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: you know, or they get punished. So it's a really,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: like you really have to do a lot of research
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: on those places. Um, because yeah, it can be scary.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: We can visit her and she can come home once
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: a month. She can go to school there, make friends
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: and get healthy. He says that I'm being a selfish
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: a-hole and that our daughter doesn't want to go. She
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: told me that she'll think about it, but I think
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: that her dad is loving his role as her superhero
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: because they bonded in the past months and he will
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: encourage her not to go. Am I the a-hole? And
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: we have an edit. Again, I've explained everything about this
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: treatment facility, her current therapy, and approach to her eating disorder.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: The fact that the choice is ultimately hers. Yes, we
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: do have a dog and no, she doesn't want to
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: walk him. No, this isn't a quick fix. No, I
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: don't think my daughter hates me. And edit two, the
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: facility does have therapists, specialists, doctors, and all types of
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: health professionals. They do have ED programs that she would
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: be a part of and she would be in touch
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: with her current therapist because she has a hard time
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: opening up to new people. So that would help her.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I double and triple checked everything and talked to so
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: many parents and employees and but it's ultimately her choice.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: My fear is that her dad will cloud her judgment
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: by bribing her with food. And we do have an update,
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: but what do you think?
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think you're the a-hole at all. You're
• 48:29
  Speaker 5: trying to help out your daughter. You already sent her
• 48:34
  Speaker 5: to therapy. That's good. That's a good first step, obviously.
• 48:38
  Speaker 5: And a nutritionist. You need a lot more steps than that,
• 48:43
  Speaker 5: but you know what I mean?
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I think maybe the mom might be
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: hyper fixated on it as well.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: Probably. It seems like she, like, and she's fit. And
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: so probably there's kind of a comparison going on there.
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: This is hard because, I mean, my mom always, like,
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: consistently comments on weight. Like, whether it's, like, me, my sisters,
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: my brother, like, anyone in her life. She just always, like,
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: that's the first thing she mentions. And that's just, like,
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: how I grew up. But I didn't end up, like,
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: having a problem, you know.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: I also think things can show up in different ways.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: People can have very bad reactions to that. But also
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: it can just show up in like how you talk
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: about yourself.
• 49:22
  Speaker 5: Well, I think a big thing that they have to
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: do is they have to stroke their ego. You know
• 49:27
  Speaker 5: what I mean?
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: Honestly, yeah, that might be like I'm not a therapist,
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: but maybe that is like the thing of being like,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: you know what? You're like beautiful. You are you have
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: you're very intelligent. I just want to help you like
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: be able to feel more comfortable running around and, you know,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: update a month later. So my ex wouldn't even consider
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: sending our daughter to get treatment. for her eating disorder.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: We missed the sign-up deadline and my daughter had moved
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: in with her dad full time thanks to his encouragement.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: He was loving his role of the good parent and
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: I lost it when my daughter told me that she
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: had stopped talking to her therapist. Desperate, I filed for
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: sole legal custody and a change of housing arrangements in
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: my favor. My ex was upset that I did it
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: without notifying him first and my daughter refused to talk
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: to me at all. I was exhausted, so I started
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: therapy alone. My therapist told me to write a letter
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: to my daughter, and that's exactly what I did. Four
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: days later, she agreed to meet me. We didn't talk
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: much at first, but she was happy that I started therapy.
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: She told me that she misses her therapist, but her
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: dad told her that she doesn't.
• 50:27
  Speaker 4: Need therapy because she's fine.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: This dad is terrible.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: He's like, no, you don't need it.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: You just need me. It feels good to be the hero.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like, no, you're normal. She's like, I actually
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: really liked going to my therapist.
• 50:40
  Speaker 5: No, honey, all girls, all girls are 200 and 300 pounds.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: She also said she misses me, but she wasn't ready
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: to move back in with me because of how controlling
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: and restrictive I am. Two days later, I asked her
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: to go grocery shopping with me, and I had set
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: aside $ 50 for her to choose the groceries she wants
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: to buy for our home in case she comes back
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: and to show her I was ready to change.
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: I think that is good.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: Because OP did talk about, like, no junk food, none
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: of this, which it's never good to fully restrict that.
• 51:10
  Speaker 5: Too much of anything is, like, bad for you, you know?
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: My mom always says, like, she was like... My dad
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: told me this and I believe it too. She said,
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: you can eat whatever you want as long as you're active,
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: as long as you're moving. I mean, like you can
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: go into like, okay, I need a fruit, a vegetable,
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: you know, like protein, whatever. You can do that. I've
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: never ever like focused on that.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: I think also making sure that you're not forcing your
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: child into like a sport that they don't want to
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: do or some sort of thing, which my parents were
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: good at. Like, I did so many sports growing up
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: and I just cycled through so many because it was
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: mostly because I kept passing out from heat stroke. But
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: like my parents, you know, I hated swimming. And so
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: my parents were like, oh, well, you don't have to
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: do it. And I kept like cycling through a sport
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: till I found one I liked.
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah. OK, sure, sure.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: In the meantime, my ex got served and my daughter
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: and I went through another period of very little contact
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: because of it. Mid-February, she decided to move back in
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: with me if I put the legal actions on hold.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: This was a smart tactic on her dad's behalf, I'll admit.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: But she was finally back with me, so I decided
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: to focus on that. I realized that I made the
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: mistake of competing with my ex so many times. When
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: I should have focused on my daughter instead. It's been
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: over two months and my daughter hasn't spent a single
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: full day at her dad's place. They hang out but
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: she chooses not to spend extended periods of time at
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: his house. She's been seeing her therapist since moving back
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: in and she's in a better place now. It took
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: losing her for me to realize that I needed to
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: change too in order to improve our relationship. I learned
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: to relax more. Anne stopped being so tense and constantly moving,
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: and she is starting to understand that I'm doing all
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: I can in her favor. She's decided that she wants
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: to lose weight, 23 pounds down, and is hoping to
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: improve her health before college. We have snacks, pizza night,
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: and we bake a dessert together every weekend. That's such
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: a big deal for her to, like, see you understand
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: that it's not just about, like, taking everything away.
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's moderation.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: I love that Opie went to therapy.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: Those things I would never allow before, but we're both
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: learning balance.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: She still doesn't like to exercise, but we do go
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: on late night walks around the block and she's doing
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: more chores. Our relationship has never been this genuine. We
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: have a long way ahead and I'm preparing for the
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: low points that are bound to happen, especially with her dad,
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: but I'm appreciating what we have now. In edit, she
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: follows the approach of intuitive eating combined with balanced meals
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: that don't deprive her of any food type. This way,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: she's learning the concept of balance and abandoning the concept
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: of food as a coping mechanism or a punishing tool.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: We've got a little bit left. Do you have any
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: final thoughts?
• 53:47
  Speaker 5: I just hope, you know, hope you're doing the right thing.
• 53:51
  Speaker 5: You know, just keep at it. That's all it is.
• 53:54
  Speaker 5: You know, literally just keep at it.
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: It seems like it's, I think also, OP, like, she
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: might not like exercise because it is much harder for her.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: I feel like when you get to a certain weight,
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: it does just become a lot harder to move around.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: And so maybe there will be a point.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: That's how I think like doing, you know, like rock
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: climbing or like playing beach volleyball or going to pickleball
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: or anything like those are like the three things that
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like kind of doing right now. It's like exercise,
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: but it's fun exercise. Like I love it very much
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: as a motivation, especially when you have friends who do
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: it with you. It motivates you like I cannot motivate
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: myself to like go to the gym. I hate it.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: Neither can I. I don't go to the gym. But
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: I like that her mom is like, yeah, I'll walk
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: with you. So it's no longer like, oh, go walk,
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: get exercise. It's like, hey, you want to go like
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: talk with me and hang out? Yeah, because that's what
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: I mean. All of my exercise is just things I
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: think are fun.
• 54:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: But we have a little left. As far as physical
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: activity goes, I'll definitely talk to her and see if
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: she likes any of the recommendations you have given. While
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: I agree that weight loss can be achieved even without
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: physical activity. I think that abandoning her sedentary lifestyle, step
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: by step, literally, is another way of getting healthier, since
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: weight loss isn't a primary goal. I don't have much
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: else to say about her dad, other than the fact
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: that I've just recently, with the help of my therapist,
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: realized that he's a classic Disney dad. I know some
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: of you think it's wrong of me to take him
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: to court, but I would stop at nothing to help
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: my kid. I wasn't going to sit back and let
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: him baby her into passing away and self-loathing while removing
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: her from my life. And that's the end of the story.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Ah, here it is. Disney dad is a parent, usually non-custodial,
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: who focuses on fun, treats, and gifts rather than rules
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: and discipline. They act like a fun best friend, leaving
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: the daily chores, boundaries, and hard parenting work to the
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: other parent. Yeah, that's exactly this guy.
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: That is this guy.
• 55:51
  Speaker 5: Don't want to be that guy.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: Don't be this guy.
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: Don't be that guy.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: Well, I think Opie's doing good, though. She's improving. And
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: that's the end of the story.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: We're going to go on to the next one. Hey,
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: it's Carly, your favorite axolotl host here. We're going to
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: ads from our sponsors.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: My daughter accused me of sabotaging her graduation, so I
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: set the record straight.
• 56:16
  Speaker 5: 4.0.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: Oh. I, 40s-ish female, have a daughter, 18, who I'll
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: call Bree. When she was younger, her father, who I
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: broke up with before she was born, was very involved
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: in her life, and she was... adamantly a daddy's girl.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: But this all changed when she turned eight and he
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: got married. He barely called and just abandoned her for
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: his new family. This was obviously hard on her and
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: she rebelled a lot, but she went to therapy and
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: seemed pretty good. He has not seen him since she
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: was 12 and he speaks to her maybe three times
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: a year maximum. When he calls, she believes he is
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: now back in her life for good and then he
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: ghosts her for the remainder of the year. This being said,
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: Bri and I have a great relationship. We do everything together.
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: She even refers to me as her best friend. Recently,
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: it was her graduation and I was excited. But she
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: came to me a week before and told me she's
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: going to invite her dad and his son. And it's
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: because her dad doesn't want to see me. I can't come.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: Bri told me that that was the only way she
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: was going to go. I angrily told her I felt
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: betrayed and wouldn't forgive her for this.
• 57:28
  Speaker 5: Betrayed is crazy.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Do you have your 18-year-old daughter?
• 57:32
  Speaker 7: Especially the parent who's been there for her forever.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: She just told me I have been there for many
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: of her milestones and she wants her father to experience
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: some too. Things got heated, and we argued. By the way,
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: this comes from HopefulPicture856, and if you want to submit
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash okstories on subreddit.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 57:52
  Speaker 5: I'm Mike.
• 57:52
  Speaker 7: I'm Keon.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: And Mike's my good comedian friend. He's going to help
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: us read some stories, and we are going to do
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: it goofily. If you have anything you'd like to add,
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: please add it down below. Opie says, The night before
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: her graduation, I pleaded with her, but she ignored me
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: when I spoke. She only said, I'm sorry, but I'm
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: not changing my mind right now. I left and I
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: cried until my sister offered to take me out during
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: the graduation to take my mind off of it. And
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: I agreed. I woke up the next morning to my
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: daughter bawling her eyes out. I looked at the time
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: and realized the ceremony starts in five minutes. I asked
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: Bree why she hasn't left yet. Bree then tells me
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: her father ditched her and isn't answering anymore. I hugged
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: her and told her to make the most of her graduation.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: She looked shocked and asked if I'm not going to
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: the ceremony now that her father isn't and said how
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: it'll be embarrassing to be the only one there without parents.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: I told her I'm sorry, but that I already had plans.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: She then screamed and called me a bad mom. I
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: apologized once again and got ready to meet my sister.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: I chose not to go because I felt betrayed and
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: wanted to teach her that actions have consequences even if
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: it broke me that I didn't go. Since Bree returned,
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: she hasn't spoken a word to me. she looks depressed,
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: and she's been crying for ages. I'm starting to regret
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: not going. My sister says I did the right thing,
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: but one of the moms at my daughter's graduation said,
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: said she was depressed at graduation. And now I feel
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: bad that I ruined what was supposed to be a
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: day to remember because I wanted to teach my daughter
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: a lesson. So am I the a-hole? We have an update. Well,
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: the big problem is that Bree believes her father so
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: much that anything father says, anything papa wants, I'm going
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: to clear out everything, even though he's ignored me for
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: so long. And that's like some weird daddy issue she's
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: going to have to figure out. And she's going to
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: fall for it every time because that's like her dad
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: she wants to have a relationship with.
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: I know, but also just shame on the dad, bro.
• 59:55
  Speaker 7: No, dad gave her the ultimatum. Dad gave Bree the
• 59:57
  Speaker 7: ultimatum of I'll come if mom doesn't go.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: But do you think mom should have gave Opie that choice?
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Because I feel like.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 4: Mom could have been like, I'm still going.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 7: I would have been a real talk. It would have
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 7: been like.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it has to be a sit down because like
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: you're because like if you guys are split, in my
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 5: own opinion, kid always comes first. You know what I mean?
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 5: You got to take a sit down with each other
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 5: and just like grow up and just kind of just
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 5: be like, yo, hey, we got this. Here's the elephant
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 5: in the room. Like we have this thing. We got
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: this thing with our kid, you know, like can we
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 5: put aside our differences for one?
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 4: One day.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: It's half a day because it happens in the afternoon.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 7: And you're like Chili's after.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: So here's the next thing, Keon. You say, OK, dad
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: ditched you. I have a choice to either go to
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: graduation with you. or not. I feel like she did
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: the wrong thing. Like, I get, I get actions have consequences,
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: but as a parent, this feels like a lesson where
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: it's not an eye for an eye.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 4: This felt like an eye for an eye.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 7: It should have been like, Bree, I'm going. I don't care. Like,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 7: I'm still going. And your dad doesn't control my life.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 7: Your dad shouldn't control your life kind of thing.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: You're still a kid.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 4: Ha ha ha.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: That was funny. I'm going to graduate.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 7: What she said was, yeah, sure. Very hurtful. And you
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 7: can show you can show your disappointment after or like
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 7: I told you so kind of in an adult way.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: Update. Opie says, I don't think I'm a bad mom
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: for this one thing. I accepted the judgments and read everything.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: To answer your questions, Brie does go to therapy. This
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: isn't the first time Brie has ditched me for her dad.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: She's been doing it for 10 years. This is the
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: first time I have said no to her after her
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: father abandoned her. I have asked her therapist if Brie
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: is being manipulated and she said no based on Brie
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: and her father's messages and that my daughter is just
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: grasping onto a reality that isn't there. Update two. I
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: went to my daughter and apologized for not going to
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: her graduation. I also explained that it is not a
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: nice feeling to be left out and that I feel underappreciated.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: Also that it's fine to want her father there for her,
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: but that I should be there too. She told me
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: that she's sorry things ended up this way and she
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: loves me and hugged me and that she wants things
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: to go back to normal and that she acted like
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: a witch. I told her that nevertheless, I should have
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: been there and that if I could go and do
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: this all over again, I would have gone. Then I
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: asked her if she regretted uninviting me in the first place. And, unsurprisingly,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: she said no. This hurt me, but I figured it
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: was because I didn't go, so it was understandable. But no,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: she continued, saying that it was probably the best I
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: didn't go because she would have been more miserable, and
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: she would have preferred her dad to be there anyway.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 7: She'll always pick dad. Or have dad as a, on
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 7: a pedestal over mom.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah. This is like, this is so bad. This is
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 5: like so dysfunctional.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Then I got pissed, though I didn't show it. I
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: told her my feelings were hurt, especially since I've been
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: there for her, and she said that she's always going
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: to want her dad there for her big moments. I asked,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: even at the expense of me and knowing he most
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: likely won't show, and she replied, I mean, if I
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: have to make sacrifices, I'm going to have my dad there.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: I repeated the question, as she seemed to be swerving it,
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: but she just shrugged and went on her phone. I
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: told her not to expect everyone to apologize and turn
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: a blind eye when she doesn't value them in the
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: real world. I also said that, knowing how she feels,
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: she shouldn't expect another apology from me, and that this
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: is the last time I'm doing this. She looked teary-eyed,
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: but I left. I know her father is going to
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: keep abandoning her, and honestly, I'm at my limit. If
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: I didn't know whether I was wrong or not before,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: I definitely know I was right and not going?
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 7: Mom's still petty. This is just petty.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, this is petty.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: Dude, why is a daughter not getting it and why
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: are you not getting it either?
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 7: The apple does not fall far from the tree.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: I understand wanting her dad there, but I should be
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: on the same level of importance as him. I'm still
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: going to be there for her when he inevitably ditches
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: her again. But If this behavior carries on, like at
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: her next graduation or her wedding day, I can't say
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: I'll be that apologetic to her. Update three, four months later,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: I'm going to refer to Bree's father as Freddy. For
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: the past few months, I've done a lot of reflection.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: Although I can't say I regret not going to Bree's
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: graduation ceremony, I do wish I handled the situation more
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: like an adult. Growing up, I was taught to never
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: ask questions I don't want the answer to. and that's
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: exactly what I did with my daughter. I shouldn't have
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: asked if she regretted uninviting me, because truthfully, I didn't
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: want to hear the answer. To clear up some miscommunications,
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: I don't speak to Bree's father simply because he refuses
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: to be cooperative.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 4: Shock!
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 7: You mean the guy who doesn't go to his daughter's events?
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: Also, when I said Bree referred to me as her
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: best friend, this doesn't mean I treat her like my equal.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: I do parent her, She did get grounded and got
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: her phone taken away when she misbehaved at school, which
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: is rare. I think she calls me that because she
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: feels comfortable talking to me about everything.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 4: Now to the update.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: There was an incident after where Bree wanted her dad's
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: help to move into her college apartment before terms started,
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: but he refused because he had work. She begged for weeks.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: The whole three-hour ride to her college, she was crying hysterically.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: My sister consoled her, but if I'm being honest... I
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: was pissed. Pissed at my daughter as she refuses to
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: go to therapy anymore, but seriously pissed at my ex.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: It took me ages after graduation, but I finally got
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: in contact with Freddie's aunt. I explained the situation and
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: that I needed to get in contact with him as
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: he's either ignoring or not getting my messages. He ended
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: up sending me a very long letter. In a small nutshell,
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: it said that my daughter has been stalking and threatening
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: him and his family. And that he's been trying to
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: have a healthy relationship with her, but she's being aggressive.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: So he had to keep his distance.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 7: Why is this being brought up now?
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 5: After the graduation's done, she's going to college. 18 years old, like, now?
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 5: Kim K, this story is terrible, bro. I hate this story, absolutely.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 5: With every being in my body.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: He acknowledges he hasn't been the best father, but says
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: he tried for the past few years and Bree is
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: too aggressive, so he had to put the safety of
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: his family first. As for the graduation, he wrote that
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: he definitely refused to go and only said it was
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: probably for the best, as I probably wouldn't feel too
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: comfortable with him being there. He said not to contact
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: him again and that we've done enough damage. He added
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: photocopies of messages between him and Bree where she says
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: deeply troubling things like, Well, that's a crazy turn of events.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: Someone's lying! I don't know, man.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 7: Is she reacting like this immediately? She's crying, breaking down.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 7: And she's like, I never really tried to hurt them
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 7: or like that bad. Dude, I know this is not good.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: I was trying to calm her down. I told her
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: I believed her and suggested therapy. Then she turned on me,
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: blaming me for the breakdown between her and her father's relationship.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: She swore at me, broke stuff. And she told me,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: stop trying to villainize her father when I'm the problem.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: She called me a burden. and said I should have
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: stayed out of her business. I was called a bad
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: mother and told I should burn an H-E double hockey sticks.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: To be clear, she was never violent towards me. She
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: packed her stuff and left, presumably back to college. Me
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: and my family haven't heard from her since. I called
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: and called, but only got one message from a random
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: number telling me to leave her alone. I told her
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: I'm always there for her when she's ready to talk.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: It's been two months since I spoke to her. I'll
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: never admit this to anyone, but honestly, I feel relieved.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: My esteem plummeted and I felt passed away for the
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: longest time because of the situation. I'm going to therapy
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: and feel the tiniest bit better. I finally went on
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: a date yesterday for the first time in a decade
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: without getting guilted. In hindsight, mine and Bree's relationship was
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: nowhere near perfect, but I don't know what I could
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: have done and I wish I did more. She's my
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: child and she was a victim of an overall bad situation.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 7: I mean, this is just, Opie can't do anything. You can,
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 7: it's the, the, good old saying that I love to say,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 7: you can lead a horse to water, can't force him
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 7: to drink it.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: I have no words for this story.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 7: I just don't know why this wasn't brought up sooner
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 7: like in any way shape or form of like even
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 7: though you're not cool with the you know your ex-husband
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 7: or ex-partner that's some like immediate like yo our daughter's
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 7: doing some crazy stuff that is just like i'm not
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 7: gonna repeat it and that's the end of the story