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Bonus IMPROV - Get In My Suburu · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:15
  Totally.
• 0:16
  Totally.
• 0:18
  What is this?
• 0:19
  I think it's something called bonus improv.
• 0:23
  What do we need for that?
• 0:25
  To get laid.
• 0:26
  Yeah!
• 0:27
  No, we need a suggestion.
• 0:29
  No, go back.
• 0:29
  What were you saying?
• 0:32
  No.
• 0:32
  First, we'll get a suggestion from Joe, and then we can talk about the other thing.
• 0:36
  Great.
• 0:36
  Horny improv.
• 0:37
  Just what I need.
• 0:39
  That's what the audience wants.
• 0:41
  What was the suggestion?
• 0:42
  Horny improv?
• 0:43
  Yeah.
• 0:44
  Done.
• 0:44
  Who's knocking at the table?
• 0:46
  Me.
• 0:46
  Hey, actually, can that just be your suggestion?
• 0:49
  It's better than what I had.
• 0:51
  No.
• 0:52
  What did you have?
• 0:53
  Skateboards.
• 0:54
  Skateboards.
• 0:54
  That's great.
• 0:55
  I always wanted to ride a skateboard.
• 0:57
  I'm scared I would flail.
• 0:59
  Yeah
• 0:59
  I'm too
• 1:01
  I'm
• 1:04
  I'm a naturally clumsy person
• 1:06
  And so as a result
• 1:06
  I'm very overly cautious
• 1:08
  So I don't really get into accidents
• 1:10
  Or anything like that
• 1:11
  Because I'm
• 1:12
  Very
• 1:13
  Deliberate
• 1:14
  Thank you for being cautious
• 1:16
  I like that
• 1:17
  But being deliberate and cautious
• 1:19
  Does not lend itself to
• 1:20
  To fun-ass skateboards
• 1:21
  I'll
• 1:22
  You're right
• 1:23
  Maybe I'll invent something for that
• 1:24
  That'd be good
• 1:25
  Yeah
• 1:26
  I'm worried too
• 1:27
  That's why I don't
• 1:29
  I mean, I almost broke my ankle getting out of my car, if you recall.
• 1:32
  I do.
• 1:32
  So, skateboarding seems like a near.
• 1:36
  Seems like a near.
• 1:38
  Yeah, but I do think it's cool when people are like, like boarders.
• 1:41
  Yeah.
• 1:42
  Like, wow.
• 1:43
  It is cool.
• 1:46
  I could do Heelys, maybe.
• 1:48
  We've discussed this.
• 1:49
  Yeah, I was going to say, we've had this conversation before.
• 1:52
  Yeah, and I could ride a Segway.
• 1:55
  Although people die on Segways a lot.
• 1:56
  People die in their beds.
• 1:59
  That's true.
• 2:00
  I'm not going to not go to bed.
• 2:02
  Right.
• 2:02
  We have to.
• 2:03
  I look forward to it the most.
• 2:04
  Yeah.
• 2:05
  It's like I actually, it's like I avoid it at all costs.
• 2:08
  Like I hate going to bed, but I love being asleep.
• 2:11
  Oh, yeah.
• 2:12
  I also like, I'm such a night person that like, I'm like, oh, I'm going to make myself go to bed because I know I want to get a certain amount of sleep.
• 2:20
  But I don't like going to bed.
• 2:21
  Like I can stay up all night.
• 2:23
  Yeah.
• 2:25
  Until you can't.
• 2:26
  Right.
• 2:26
  But I mean, in theory, you know what I mean?
• 2:28
  I do.
• 2:29
  That feeling of just like, the night's mine.
• 2:31
  Yeah.
• 2:32
  But then yeah I love being asleep I love dreaming so much I have some weird dreams And every night it like a fun adventure of like what am I going to think of tonight I had a dream the other night that someone told me I don remember who it was They were like you should put your desk on the other
• 2:45
  wall. And ever since then, I've been thinking about it. I'm like, why did I dream this? Yeah.
• 2:53
  And now, improv.
• 2:55
  Kyle, wake up.
• 3:04
  Kyle.
• 3:05
  I know, I know it's your babysitter.
• 3:07
  I'm supposed to let you sleep.
• 3:08
  But it's 1 a.m. and your parents are out.
• 3:10
  Get in the car.
• 3:11
  We're going out.
• 3:12
  Oh, sorry.
• 3:14
  I've got to rub the sleep out of my eyes.
• 3:16
  Put some clothes on.
• 3:17
  Okay.
• 3:18
  I'm wearing clothes.
• 3:19
  I know.
• 3:20
  More.
• 3:20
  It's cold out.
• 3:21
  I am your babysitter.
• 3:23
  Okay.
• 3:24
  All right.
• 3:24
  I got my jacket.
• 3:25
  Where are we going?
• 3:26
  What are we doing?
• 3:27
  We're going.
• 3:27
  It's a surprise.
• 3:28
  Get in my Subaru.
• 3:30
  Okay.
• 3:31
  It's a Forester.
• 3:32
  Yeah.
• 3:32
  It's the only one worth buying.
• 3:34
  Sounds like the woods.
• 3:37
  I mean, we're in it.
• 3:38
  We're going to Dairy Queen three towns away.
• 3:42
  Oh, yay.
• 3:43
  Yeah.
• 3:44
  Yeah.
• 3:45
  Yes.
• 3:46
  That sounds fun.
• 3:47
  Yes, and we're never going to sleep.
• 3:49
  No.
• 3:50
  Well, I have to sleep.
• 3:51
  I'm still pretty tired.
• 3:52
  No, no.
• 3:53
  Have you heard of Peter Pan?
• 3:55
  Yeah?
• 3:56
  If you go to sleep, he'll rape you.
• 3:57
  Come on, we're going to Dairy Queen.
• 4:00
  What?
• 4:01
  Everyone knows that.
• 4:04
  I've never heard that before.
• 4:05
  Quick, take 20 bucks to go into that Circle K and come out with some of those pills.
• 4:10
  We're going to need them.
• 4:14
  Okay.
• 4:16
  All right, I'm back.
• 4:17
  All right, let me see.
• 4:18
  I just grabbed all the loose pills near the register.
• 4:19
  All right, you take half.
• 4:20
  I'll take half.
• 4:21
  I love being your caretaker.
• 4:23
  It's so weird
• 4:25
  It's so weird that my
• 4:26
  Swallow
• 4:27
  Swallow
• 4:28
  Oh, you're rubbing my throat
• 4:29
  Yes, I know what I'm doing
• 4:31
  I'm certified
• 4:31
  Perfect
• 4:33
  Oh, this is great
• 4:34
  Oh, you're gonna love this
• 4:36
  What?
• 4:37
  I found a casino that doesn't guard
• 4:39
  Great
• 4:40
  Will they care that I'm in my dinosaur jammies?
• 4:43
  They don't care
• 4:44
  It's a casino
• 4:45
  Alright, let's do it
• 4:46
  Let's have fun
• 4:46
  Let's do it, we're gambling, baby
• 4:47
  Yeah
• 4:48
  Yes
• 4:49
  Okay
• 4:50
  I have school in the morning, though.
• 4:54
  There is no morning.
• 4:56
  Shut the fuck up about morning.
• 4:58
  You're killing my buzz.
• 5:01
  I'm sorry, but it's true.
• 5:02
  I just...
• 5:03
  It's gonna come...
• 5:05
  It's gonna come soon, I think.
• 5:07
  We can't go gambling now.
• 5:08
  You've totally ruined my juge.
• 5:11
  I didn mean to ruin your juge I sorry I didn know there was a thing called juge It fine I just gonna put on some radio and keep going to Dairy Queen You not ruining the whole night Okay Oh yeah Put on Put on
• 5:22
  Delilah.
• 5:25
  She's got a soothing voice.
• 5:26
  I'm just gonna...
• 5:27
  I'm just gonna curl up against the car door.
• 5:29
  Stay awake. 99.9.
• 5:32
  I just... I'm just gonna...
• 5:34
  What's in your hearts tonight?
• 5:37
  Hmm.
• 5:39
  The love.
• 5:40
  Just remind each other that...
• 5:42
  Yeah.
• 5:43
  We're all we have at the end of the day.
• 5:45
  So sleepy.
• 5:47
  Hey, you little shit!
• 5:48
  No, no, no.
• 5:49
  You lost your Delilah privileges.
• 5:50
  Oh, no, but she was soothing me to sleep.
• 5:52
  No, I'm putting on the Selena channel.
• 5:54
  Oh, God, it's so...
• 6:00
  It's the opposite of Delilah.
• 6:02
  It's the opposite of Delilah.
• 6:02
  Yeah, everyone knows that.
• 6:04
  Why aren't you...
• 6:05
  Let me pull over.
• 6:06
  Why aren't you excited?
• 6:07
  I thought all 19-year-olds who have babysitters want to be awake all night.
• 6:13
  I do, mostly, but I, you know, I'm a fairly responsible 19-year-old.
• 6:19
  I mean, I have school in the morning, and I just want to be ready for it.
• 6:25
  Come back on the weekend, man.
• 6:28
  What?
• 6:29
  I'm sorry.
• 6:30
  Don't cry.
• 6:31
  It's okay, Kyle.
• 6:33
  Don't cry.
• 6:34
  I just wanted to give you one last good night.
• 6:37
  Wait, what?
• 6:38
  What do you mean one last goodnight?
• 6:42
  Something happening?
• 6:43
  Yeah.
• 6:44
  What's happening, Kyle?
• 6:45
  What?
• 6:45
  What is it?
• 6:47
  You're done, man.
• 6:49
  Done with what?
• 6:49
  Done with what?
• 6:50
  You're over.
• 6:52
  What is that?
• 6:52
  What do you...
• 6:54
  What does that mean?
• 6:56
  I was going to tell you this, man.
• 6:58
  Your parents need your organs.
• 7:02
  We're going to take them, man.
• 7:04
  And I thought, man, if I knew I was going to be dead in the morning, I'd want to go to Dairy Queen.
• 7:09
  I'd want to go gambling.
• 7:10
  I'd want to do all the things I'd never get to do.
• 7:14
  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 7:16
  My parents are stealing my organs tonight?
• 7:20
  Yeah.
• 7:21
  They need them.
• 7:23
  They...
• 7:24
  What?
• 7:26
  They each need one kidney.
• 7:28
  They each need half a liver.
• 7:29
  and they each need half a brain oh god who's getting which half is that really the important
• 7:41
  question no i'm just curious can we just go to dairy queen yeah yeah all right fine yeah but
• 7:47
  can we what can we do can we do anything to prevent this
• 7:51
  this organ thievery I don think so Um let me put Delilah on really quick
• 8:02
  Why don't you close your eyes for just a second.
• 8:03
  Okay.
• 8:04
  I'm going to make a call.
• 8:05
  Okay.
• 8:06
  To your father.
• 8:08
  Ring, ring.
• 8:10
  Ring.
• 8:11
  Hello.
• 8:13
  Hi, Daryl.
• 8:14
  Oh, why are you calling me?
• 8:16
  Have you been watching the boy?
• 8:18
  Oh, hmm, I'm watching the boy.
• 8:20
  Interesting.
• 8:21
  Are you going to tell her about us or not?
• 8:23
  Because I am very close to a cliff, and I've got your son in the car.
• 8:27
  No.
• 8:28
  Yeah.
• 8:29
  Stacy?
• 8:29
  Now what?
• 8:30
  Stacy, you promised.
• 8:31
  Oh, yeah, you promised, too.
• 8:34
  Yeah, well, things have changed.
• 8:37
  Well, have your promise changed?
• 8:38
  You said if I let you put it in, you would take me out.
• 8:42
  I haven't been out in years, Daryl.
• 8:45
  Look, just don't do anything rash, okay?
• 8:48
  All right?
• 8:48
  It's your only son.
• 8:49
  I'll take you out.
• 8:51
  No, leave the boy.
• 8:52
  Oh, you will?
• 8:52
  I want to hear you.
• 8:53
  I want to hear you ask for a divorce right now.
• 8:56
  And I'd better believe it.
• 8:57
  You know I can't do that.
• 8:58
  I'd better believe.
• 8:59
  I've got a gun, too.
• 9:00
  No, Cheryl has a weak heart.
• 9:02
  Good.
• 9:03
  I don't know if he's nice and simple.
• 9:05
  No, Stacy, just give me two more weeks.
• 9:08
  I promise.
• 9:08
  Oh, okay.
• 9:09
  Two weeks, that sounds good.
• 9:10
  That should give me enough time to thread a garden hose through the car.
• 9:13
  No, don't.
• 9:14
  No, no, no, no.
• 9:14
  No, just...
• 9:15
  Yeah, I'll take us both out.
• 9:16
  Just drop Kyle back off at home.
• 9:18
  We're getting woozy in the car.
• 9:20
  With our blizzards.
• 9:22
  You went to Dairy Queen?
• 9:24
  Three towns over.
• 9:25
  The one you promised to take me to.
• 9:29
  Alright, I'll tell Cheryl tonight.
• 9:32
  Just promise me you're not going to do anything rash.
• 9:34
  Promise you?
• 9:35
  That's rich.
• 9:36
  But okay, I'm willing to entertain it.
• 9:39
  Because I still love you.
• 9:41
  Okay, alright, fine.
• 9:44
  Kyle, wake up.
• 9:46
  Yeah?
• 9:46
  Luckily, someone else died.
• 9:51
  Oh, God.
• 9:52
  Yeah, no, you're fine.
• 9:53
  You're going to live.
• 9:55
  Oh, thank God.
• 9:56
  Yeah, we're going to live.
• 9:57
  We're going to go home now.
• 9:57
  Hey, can I have a bite of your Butterfingers blizzard?
• 10:02
  Oh, sure.
• 10:03
  I feel like I have a new lease on life.
• 10:04
  You can have the whole thing.
• 10:05
  Oh, this is great.
• 10:05
  This is great.
• 10:07
  What'd you call me a second ago?
• 10:10
  What?
• 10:11
  You called me something.
• 10:12
  Uh, Stacy? Babysitter? I don't know
• 10:17
  Hmm, hey, you know what my friends call me?
• 10:22
  What?
• 10:23
  Mom
• 10:23
  Shh, dude