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Unlock Leadership Energy to Grow Your Business · Business for Humans

• 0:00
  I'm Jamie Gennaro, business coach and consultant and founder of Practica Consulting.
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  In today's episode, we're diving into leadership energy, what it is,
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  why it matters, and what you can do to cultivate it, no matter your job title.
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  I'll share insights on showing up authentically, setting limits with clarity,
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  and embracing failure as a part of growth. Enjoy. way.
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  Hello, everyone. So today we're going to talk about leadership and not just
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  leadership, but leadership energy.
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  And why do I like to use the word energy? It's because you can show up with
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  leadership energy without necessarily being a leader in your job.
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  So even if you're not in a supervisory role or a management role,
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  even if you're not a boss or an entrepreneur leading teams,
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  there are still places in your life where it's going to be helpful for you to show up in this way.
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  And I want to tell you what leadership energy isn't first, because I think a
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  lot of people have this old story in their head about like a leader looks like
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  this and a leader acts like this.
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  And one of the things sometimes we try to do is like meet that energy that we see,
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  like meet those people where they are, which let's say if they're like slightly
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  more aggressive than we are or slightly more outgoing, we try to be that because that's what we see.
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  And what I would like to do through this class and what I what I really try
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  to do through my coaching in general is empower people to realize that just
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  because you haven't seen someone like you in a leadership position doesn't mean
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  that you aren't a leader.
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  So leadership is not.
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  Ego. It's not vying for goals that are only going to work for you.
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  It's not about power. It's not about hierarchy.
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  Although those are things that we see, right? It's not about being aggressive.
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  It's not about being overproductive.
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  It's not about profit only.
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  These are all things that we see and what
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  I want to do is shift the focus away
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  from that we need to be like that if
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  we're going to get into a leadership role and I know particularly in the corporate
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  world it feels very true that like oh the only way I'm going to make it up this
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  ladder is by emulating the this type of personality this very like potentially
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  outgoing boisterous slightly egotistical,
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  pushy type of leader?
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  Well, that might be true in some environments that maybe hiring practices are
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  still really deeply ingrained in that sort of, you know.
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  Psychological character that we've created of what a leader is.
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  So maybe that's true, but it doesn't mean you
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  shouldn't try to show up in your own unique way
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  and see if you can start shifting the
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  tides so what does it mean to
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  cultivate this leadership energy what is this leadership
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  energy so the the
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  best way i know to explain it is that like the foundation of
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  this is confidence and again there
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  are lots of ideas of like oh confidence means
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  being you know aggressive with
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  your ideas always speaking up being the
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  first one at the table being the first one to raise
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  your hand being the person in the spotlight okay that's
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  not confidence i mean there
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  there are aspects of that right like that does come from confidence but
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  to me it comes from a different place to me what confidence
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  is is the willingness to fail
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  the willingness to take
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  a risk the willingness to have
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  any feeling on the spectrum of feelings and
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  know that you can still survive and thrive despite those feelings despite the
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  failures that you still have the confidence in yourself to continually show
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  up and that it doesn't mean anything
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  about you so let me give you a very concrete example in my own life.
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  Last night, I was doing this webinar on Facebook Live.
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  And I had never done it before but I was like you know what I'm gonna show up
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  I'm gonna do something I've never done I'm gonna do it even if I fail even if
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  no one shows up I'm gonna do it anyway so I showed up I did it guess what nobody
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  saw it which is why I have to rerecord it today
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  and like yes is that embarrassing yes is that a little bit humiliating yes is
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  there the possibility that people will have seen that experience and think like,
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  oh, she's so unprofessional?
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  Potentially, yes. All of those are options. Am I doing this anyway? Am I showing up anyway?
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  Am I continuing to coach without making that mean something dramatic about me,
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  without making it mean something more than it is?
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  We make mistakes all the time. We fall all the time.
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  And it's how we decide that we believe in ourselves enough to just like keep
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  showing up and keep trying.
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  So I am not perfect. And I think what's great about my role with my clients
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  is that they can also see that like it's possible to have success.
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  It's possible to have joy and abundance and all these things in your life.
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  And still you don't have to be perfect.
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  You can still make mistakes and you can still fail. And for me,
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  it's just that like, I've got my own back.
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  And that has nothing to do with ego. And it has nothing to do with like being
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  super outgoing or like pushing myself on people.
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  I'm just going to keep showing up anyway, because I have the passion and the belief.
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  And I really feel like I can make a difference. And I just, I want to show up
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  for myself. I want to do what I say I'm going to do.
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  If I tell people I'm going to show up for a webinar, and then I don't show up
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  because I have technical issues, I'm going to make sure that the video is available
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  to them because I told them it would be. And I told myself I would do it.
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  So even if it feels inconvenient, I'm just going to show up for myself. That is confidence.
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  And why that's such an important component of leadership is that when you show
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  up like that, you become an example.
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  You become an example to your team. You become an example to your family.
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  You become an example to your partner.
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  You show up anyway, even if you fail, even if you feel embarrassed,
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  even if you feel humiliated, even if you have fear, you show up anyway.
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  And so what that does is it makes people feel inspired to do the same thing.
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  That's the energy. That's how you want to show up, right?
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  That's why it's energy and not just like, oh, I'm a leader. I check off these
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  boxes. It's like, no, I show up in this way no matter who I'm interacting with,
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  no matter where I am in the world.
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  It doesn't even have to be at work. I'm going to show up with this confidence
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  because I want to be an example to other people of what is possible.
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  And I feel like in the leadership realm, when we are talking about work,
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  that it's even more critical if you have not seen yourself reflected in leaders
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  around you or leaders in the world.
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  I feel like it's your responsibility.
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  I hate to put this on you, but I really feel like it's your responsibility to
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  start working on your confidence so that you can be an example,
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  so that you can start showing up in those spaces and be representative of a
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  type of leadership that maybe hasn't been the norm, that maybe hasn't been what we've seen typically.
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  The only way you can do that is if you have confidence in yourself to be able to show up in that way.
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  So that's the the building block is
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  confidence right and that and you can show
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  up with confidence in any situation now when
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  you have confidence what you're also going to do is set boundaries and if you
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  are watching this and you've worked with me you know that i tend to harp on
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  boundaries because I feel like boundaries come from confidence.
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  Boundaries are important in communicating clearly with people.
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  And boundaries come from a place of love and respect.
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  You should never be setting boundaries from a place of anger or resentment or frustration.
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  So leaders, strong leaders
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  in the workspace know their
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  capacity and they don't over promise they don't take on more than they can actually
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  handle what they do is they confidently show up and say look i'm going to be
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  able to nail these three things and these three things i'm going to need to delegate.
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  And that's great. Because what happens when we overpromise is that down the
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  road, people lose respect for us.
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  And I literally just went through this situation with a client.
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  So I can speak from like exact, like immediate experience that someone on their
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  team had sort of overpromised and said, I'm going to be able to take on all these things.
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  And so therefore, you know, the boss said, great, cool.
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  I gave you an opportunity to tell me what you can take on and tell me what you can't take on.
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  And instead of showing up confidently and having boundaries and setting boundaries,
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  this person was people pleasing and accepting way too many tasks.
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  And then ultimately, like a few days later, was like, I'm not going to be able to do all this.
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  That is not kind that is not a
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  great way to show up so you think you're being nice by
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  like sort of reserving the truth and by
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  like just saying yes to everything and at the end of
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  the road with that type of like showing up in that way it's actually causes
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  a lot more pain and anguish to the people around you so if you're trying to
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  people please to make people feel good ultimately they're not going to feel
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  good if you're not setting boundaries you can only set boundaries from confidence,
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  from the belief that if I say no to these three things, I am still worthy.
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  I am still good at my job. It doesn't mean anything about me.
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  I want to show up in my best self by just doing these three things.
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  If I do these six things, I am probably going to fail at all of them.
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  So I'd rather just take on these three things and then problem solve with the
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  team to figure out what to do with these other three things.
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  It doesn't mean that I am somehow a failure. And that's the problem.
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  People who feel, you know, insecure and have some of these confidence things
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  to work through, they say yes because they're trying to prove their worth.
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  And then what happens is the result of that is the opposite.
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  While trying very strongly to prove their worth, what they prove to their boss
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  is that they're actually not capable.
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  So instead, Instead, show up with your leadership energy, show up with your
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  confidence, be really clear about what you can do and what you can't do,
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  and don't make it mean anything else.
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  This is what I can confidently do. Period. It doesn't mean anything negative about you.
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  I would say it's the exact opposite. What it means about you is that you know
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  your capacity really clearly and you know what you're good at and you stand up for that.
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  So let's think of that example in a non-work environment.
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  So let's imagine that you have a friend and that
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  friend wants you to come to
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  their school and volunteer at the school picnic and
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  you don't have any kids at that school so you could
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  say yes to your friend because your friend needs
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  your help and you want to show up and be a good friend and what
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  you want to do is if you say yes you want to say yes from the right place you
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  don't want to say yes because you're people pleasing and trying to make your
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  friend feel better you want to say yes because you actually want to support
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  this event and you feel like you're going to actually be an asset.
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  If you say yes and you really don't want to go and you only say yes out of obligation,
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  you're going to show up and you're going to half-ass it and you're not going
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  to show up like grateful and happy to be there.
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  You're going to show up full of resentment and aggravation and irritation that you didn't say no.
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  It's not a bad thing to say no
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  we have so much guilt and this is definitely like
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  mostly an american problem because i think some cultures have no problem saying
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  no and i totally respect that particularly the culture that i have found myself
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  like living within the dutch culture is really good at saying no and what is
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  so relieving about that is that when i ask someone if they'll do something.
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  If they say yes, I know it's a true yes.
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  I don't have to keep asking like, are you sure? Are you sure?
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  Are you sure you want to do it? If they weren't sure, they would say no.
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  Okay, so boundaries are a really big part of this leadership energy.
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  So just to recap, confidence, where confidence comes from is having your own
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  back, being willing to fail, boundary setting.
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  And the last one, which I need to just refresh myself on, is that you have done
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  enough housekeeping that you don't blame everyone else when things don't go to expectation.
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  Okay so imagine a boss who when
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  you're gonna launch some new piece of software something
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  goes wrong and your boss is like it's that person's fault it's that person's
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  fault it's that person's fault versus a boss who's like okay something went
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  wrong let's put our heads together and problem solve and find a solution people
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  who blame have housekeeping to do.
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  It's really easy to say like oh i'm
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  burned out it's my boss's fault oh i'm unhappy it's my partner's fault oh i'm
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  in this situation because of that person we are really losing our power to everyone
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  else when we show up that way when we're like hey this is a situation,
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  i have feelings about this situation i'm going to take actions from those feelings
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  and it's all based on us and realizing that we have the power to change the
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  situation. We have the power to problem solve.
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  We have the power to be creative rather than giving someone else our power and
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  saying, it's your fault. You fix it. You change.
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  We literally have no possible way of changing someone else's behavior.
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  We sure try. We sure believe we have that power, but we 100% do not.
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  This is a really, really hard piece for people to understand,
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  particularly people who are in domestic partnerships, who live with someone day in, day out.
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  They really believe if I could just change that person, it would make me happier.
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  If that person would just take out the garbage, it would make me happier.
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  It's not going to make you happier.
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  It's actually not. What makes you unhappy is thinking that all the time.
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  Like if they could just do that, I would be happy if they could just do that.
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  And then they do it, and then somehow it actually doesn't change the way you feel.
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  You have the power to change the way you feel.
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  So leaders, strong leaders, show up in this place of, look, I may have thoughts
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  and feelings about this situation.
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  Sometimes those thoughts and feelings are relevant. But in no moment is it appropriate
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  to blame someone else for this.
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  And that doesn't mean that sometimes
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  there aren't people who like make the one
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  mistake that's the vital mistake and then everything you
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  know goes downhill that's not to say that but
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  also like what do you gain by blaming that person does it change the result
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  does it change the situation no so it's like we spend so much energy deflecting
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  and blaming instead of like being problem solving and creative, right?
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  There's so much more possibility when we're like, okay, moving on.
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  What do we do now? Instead of like, oh, it's your fault. It's your fault.
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  Now, again, I say this a lot. It's not about just like always having positive
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  thoughts about everything. Like you're allowed to feel frustrated.
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  The difference is when you take it out on someone else.
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  Like the action of that frustration is the key to this.
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  This is the housekeeping part is like, hey, know the frustrations there. Don't push it away.
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  Recognize it. Process it. Feel it in your body. Feel the pain of it.
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  Let it pass and then go do something about it.
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  If you just act and act and act on your emotions, that is not leadership energy.
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  So a leader is someone who is inspiring people and motivating people to work towards a common goal.
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  The only way that you can motivate and inspire people towards a common goal
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  is if they have trust in you.
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  And the way you build trust with people is by showing up in these ways,
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  by showing up with boundaries, by showing up with confidence,
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  and by not constantly blaming other people or complaining about situations that you can't change.
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  So to inspire and get people going towards a common goal, you have to show up in these ways.
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  So I have a client who used to be really passive about everything.
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  Every time something would go wrong, she would get really angry,
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  blame everyone, and then just stop in her tracks.
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  Just like, you know what? Screw it.
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  Hands up. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just going to give up.
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  And she never quit, but she would just kind of step back like,
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  fine, I'm going to take a week off. I can't stand this anymore.
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  That was not leadership energy. She's a very senior role.
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  And so she started to just kind of change the way she looked at situations and
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  started realizing like, okay, what thoughts do I have about this situation that's
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  causing all this frustration?
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  Because no one is actually like physically creating this emotion in me.
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  I have some thought about the situation and it's creating all this like anger and frustration.
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  And so she just started asking herself why
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  like why am i so frustrated why is
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  this happening and so she started to just kind of shift the way she was looking
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  at things and now i can honestly say she is one of the like most amazing leaders
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  that i've ever worked with the way she shows up for her team the way she's direct
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  but in this very kind way the way she's so clear with instructions with people,
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  the way she sets really clear boundaries,
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  the confidence she has when she goes into tough conversations with people.
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  It is like amazing to watch.
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  It took some work. She had to do some housekeeping. But now it's so fun because
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  every time I see her in a meeting or I see her like interacting with people
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  on the team, I'm like, oh my God, look at that leadership energy.
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  Like, look at how you showed up with that energy.
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  The whole team is like so inspired to work with her towards this common goal.
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  Does that make sense? Like, and it's not, there's
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  not a goal for leaders for good
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  leaders that goal is not they're not the
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  only one that's going to benefit from reaching that goal
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  and i think that is a key it's a common goal that leaders are helping bring
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  people towards it's a common goal it's not like that goal is going to serve
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  me and so let me lead you to that place and keep you inspired and keep you from
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  quitting so that you can just like meet this goal particularly like for entrepreneurs
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  that are leading teams it's like, here,
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  meet this goal so I can get a lot of extra profit in my business and just put it in my pocket.
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  It's not really a common goal. That's why we have mission statements,
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  like values and company culture, because that feels more like a commonly grounded
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  goal than just like, I'm going to work my ass off to put more money in the owner's pocket.
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  So good leaders really work towards a common goal.
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  And that can be anything in any organization. It could be like,
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  look, I know you're working towards this professional goal.
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  You're working on your confidence. I'm going to help you get there. That's a common goal.
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  If you become more confident in your role, you're going to better serve the
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  business and it's just better for you in your life and in your personal life and professional life.
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  So why don't we invest in that common goal?
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  When I work with my clients, it's a common goal. I want to see more thriving,
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  unique, independent leaders who show up with a different type of energy,
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  who maybe are more empathetic, compassionate, better listeners,
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  more feminine, more in touch with emotions, more willing to talk about things.
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  I want those types of leaders out into the world. I want to help people become those types of leaders.
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  Common goal, right? I'm not in this for only reasons that will serve me.
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  I'm in this business because I want to help serve others. It's a common goal
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  because when there are more people who are showing up in that way in leadership
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  roles, there are more happy employees.
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  There are more products going out into the world that actually have value to people.
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  There's less destruction, blah, blah, blah. It's a domino effect.
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  So this leadership energy is so important because it's not just about you building
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  up your self-esteem. It's about you being an example.
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  It's about you realizing that your worth is not tied to saying yes all the time.
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  It's about you showing up in a way that feels good and open and purposeful because
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  when you show up that way, other people feel like they have permission to show up that way.
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  And in general, that just makes relationships with people easier.
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  It's clearer. There's clearer communication.
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  So i'm going to keep this webinar shorter than
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  typical because i think this is a theme that it just
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  takes some time to digest and unpack i'm going to stay
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  with this theme for a while because it's really dear to my heart because i think
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  we need to foster more managers that have a little bit more of this side of
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  the the type of leadership energy but i also want people to realize that in
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  their personal lives, all of these things apply.
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  So let's go through the list one more time.
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  So leadership energy is having confidence in yourself, being willing to take
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  a risk, being willing to fall, being willing to fail, being willing to feel
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  any emotion on the spectrum, and being okay with that. That's confidence.
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  Setting boundaries, being super clear so that you can show up as your best self,
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  give your best self to the people around you.
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  And doing housekeeping on your thoughts and your emotions so that you're not
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  just in a spiral of blame all the time because that doesn't feel good and it
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  doesn't actually change the outcome or the results in your life.
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  It doesn't actually make you happier to blame other people or to wait for them
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  to change because even if they did change, it's actually not going to change the way you feel.
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  Only you can change the way you feel by really looking at your thoughts around a situation.
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  Confidence, boundaries, mind cleanup.
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  That's how you show up with leadership energy.
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  Okay, till next time.
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  You've been listening to Business for Humans. If you're interested in leadership coaching,
• 24:55
  check out practica.consulting slash programs to read more about my 90-day one-on-one
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  executive of coaching program.
• 25:05
  Spots are opening up in April and you can book a call with me to learn more.
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  Music.