Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What happens when a narcissist doesn't get their way?
Transcript
- 0:00So what happens when a narcissist doesn't get their
- 0:03way? What happens?
- 0:04Y'all, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:06I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
- 0:09another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:28So welcome back, Welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:31What happens when a toxic, narcissistic person doesn't get
- 0:35their way? What?
- 0:36What? What?
- 0:37What? What goes on what?
- 0:38What transpires when that person doesn't get their way?
- 0:43Like, what happens? I know a lot of people are going
- 0:45to say they rage out of you. They yell and scream at you.
- 0:47Yeah, yeah, yeah. But why though?
- 0:49What happens? Why do they do that type of
- 0:50stuff? Y'all I'm changing the lighting
- 0:51around while we move. Y'all know, we we just, we we
- 0:54keep it going forward. So yeah, narcissistic people
- 0:58typically when they get there, when they don't get their way,
- 1:01they typically throw a temper tantrum like a child, not like a
- 1:05spoiled, not a spoiled adolescent child.
- 1:10You know when when children, when kids throw temper tantrums,
- 1:13they're like beating on the ground, kicking and screaming,
- 1:16things like that. Narcissistic people, the grown
- 1:19ones, don't behave that way. They'll give you what I refer to
- 1:23as the adult version of that temper tantrum instead of
- 1:26banging her head against the ground.
- 1:28I mean kicking and screaming in the corner and stuff like that.
- 1:31Some of them will give you the silent treatment.
- 1:34Some of them will just completely ignore you.
- 1:36They're pissed off to the point they're so angry with you that
- 1:39they'll just completely ignore you.
- 1:40Pretend you don't exist. They'll they'll ghost you.
- 1:42They'll just, yeah, they'll ghost you.
- 1:43They'll just zip it up, you know?
- 1:45Some of them will yell and scream at you.
- 1:48Some people will get angry and posture on you.
- 1:50If they're bigger and stronger than you, they might get
- 1:52physically. They might get physical with
- 1:53you. If they don't get their way, if
- 1:55they don't get something that they want, if you set a boundary
- 1:58on them, they might get physical with you.
- 2:00They might try to actually bring harm to you because you hurt
- 2:05their feelings. That's what.
- 2:06Yeah, that's at the bottom of it all.
- 2:08That's what it's about. You hurt their feelings.
- 2:12You broke, you broke them down to the point where their
- 2:14feelings are hurt. They're crying, they're
- 2:16pleading, they're begging, they're doing all of this stuff
- 2:19because their feelings are hurt, you know?
- 2:21But that's that's what happens right there.
- 2:23Y'all that's what happens. Like, seriously.
- 2:26Like they are not going to react in a good way.
- 2:29Well, can some of them act? Can some of them be manipulative
- 2:32and just pretend that they like their feelings aren't hurt?
- 2:35Like it didn't bother them that they didn't get their way?
- 2:37Yes, absolutely. But most of them y'all are going
- 2:41to have a visceral reaction to you might not be over the top
- 2:44yelling and screaming, but a lot of them are going to do
- 2:47something to make you feel the pain that they feel.
- 2:50Because you brought you brought shame into my life.
- 2:53The way you were behaving, you brought shame into my life.
- 2:56The way you're treating me, you brought shame into my space with
- 3:00what you are doing, with how you are behaving, with how you are
- 3:02acting. You brought shame to me.
- 3:05So now that you brought shame into my life, I have to make you
- 3:08feel. I have to hurt you.
- 3:09I have to in some way, shape or form.
- 3:12I have to get you back. It's about retaliation.
- 3:16It's about vengeance. I have to get you back because I
- 3:18didn't get my way. I have to get you back in some
- 3:22way, shape or form. I have to do it.
- 3:25That's the point. That's the goal.
- 3:26That's the the space that they are.
- 3:29That happens right there. We have to get you back because
- 3:32we are hurting, you know, and because a lot of narcissistic
- 3:36people especially so go back to the beginning real quick.
- 3:40A lot of narcissists are created through trauma, right?
- 3:43But not all narcissists have traumatic childhoods.
- 3:46Some just don't get told no. Some don't have boundaries set
- 3:51upon them. So they become highly
- 3:52narcissistic people that are not used to hearing the word No, you
- 3:56know, So if they are not used to hearing the word, no, boy, they
- 4:03rage Incarnate is coming towards you.
- 4:05If you tell, like, spoiled, especially a spoiled riding
- 4:08moon. If you tell a spoiled,
- 4:09narcissistic person, no, man, buckle your safety belts because
- 4:12you're going for a bumpy ass toxic ride, they're going to
- 4:16take you on a trip. They are, you know, because if
- 4:19they're not used to hearing the word no, they're going to have a
- 4:21visceral Did you just tell me No.
- 4:24Did you just say you didn't want to do what I wanted to do?
- 4:26Did you just say I couldn't do what I wanted to do, boy,
- 4:29especially if they have. If they go up in a parental, if
- 4:32they grew up in a parental like situation where they didn't get
- 4:38boundaries set on them, when nobody ever told them no why
- 4:41they never got in trouble, then yes, y'all.
- 4:43They're going to have a visceral reaction as well.
- 4:45Because not all narcissists are created through trauma.
- 4:48Some of them are created through no boundaries, never being told
- 4:50the word no. So be hearing the word no.
- 4:53As an adult, they might lose their damn minds.
- 4:58Y'all. And this is not just your
- 4:59partners. This could be your boss, this
- 5:00could be your Co workers, this could be your friends, this
- 5:03could be your siblings, You know, this could be somebody
- 5:05else's. Whatever role that they play in
- 5:06your life, this could be them. You know what I mean?
- 5:10But that happens right there. That's part of the space, That's
- 5:12part of the dynamic that a lot of people fall into and you
- 5:15don't realize that you fall into it.
- 5:16You know, you don't realize that you fall into these categories.
- 5:19So I want, like, that's the part I want people to get.
- 5:21I want to help make people more emotionally, mentally strong,
- 5:25you know, because like, if they don't get their way, just buckle
- 5:29up, prepare for it. Like, so this videos right here
- 5:31can be used to prepare for it. When you when they, when they
- 5:35don't get their way, when you have to tell them no, you
- 5:37already know something is going to happen, you know?
- 5:40So this is Lee. How do I know the person I'm
- 5:43dealing with is a narcissist or toxic person?
- 5:44How do I know that? So take this video for instance.
- 5:47Would you have to get like, so imagine that you're dealing with
- 5:50your partner, right, and you have to tell them the word no.
- 5:56What? How do you feel if you have to
- 5:59tell your partner no? How do you feel?
- 6:02What's going on inside of your head?
- 6:03What's going on inside of your mind?
- 6:04How do you feel? What are you thinking right now?
- 6:07Are you just feeling giddy? Do you say no or tell them that
- 6:10you you don't want to do what they want to do?
- 6:12Are you feeling happy that you get to go tell your partner or
- 6:15your parent or whoever this is? Are you are you happy that you
- 6:19get to go tell them that they're not going to get their weight?
- 6:21No. Typically you have a feeling in
- 6:22their pit of your stomach. Your stomach is hurting, your
- 6:25head is hurting, your sweating. You might be flagellating.
- 6:28Flagellates is coming. You know you, I know this child,
- 6:31this job, but you don't know you.
- 6:34You don't feel good. This is not a happy situation
- 6:37that you're in right now. This is not like when they don't
- 6:40get their way, they're going they they might lose it.
- 6:43They might absolutely lose their minds and you know it.
- 6:45You know you're going to probably, you probably know that
- 6:47you're going to get yelled or screamed at.
- 6:48You probably know they're going to be super dismissive towards
- 6:51you. You probably know that if you're
- 6:53trying to Co parent with this person they're going to make
- 6:55your life harder. Hey the kids can't come with.
- 6:58The kids can't go to your mom's house for for for Thanksgiving
- 7:01because they're during my time. You already know what's going to
- 7:05happen. You see, you already know you
- 7:08can. You can apply this to different
- 7:09situations. Because if they're going to give
- 7:11you the silent treatment, if they're going to start showing
- 7:13up or dropping the kids off late, if they're going to
- 7:16abandon the kids, if they're going to cuss the kids out, if
- 7:18they're going to spread rumors about you, if they're going to
- 7:21start a smear campaign. Because that's what happens too.
- 7:23If they don't get their way, they're going to start a smear
- 7:25campaign on you. If they don't get their way,
- 7:27like what I mean by don't get their way, y'all, they could be
- 7:30trying to get back into a relationship with you and you
- 7:32can just say no and then then they start a smear campaign on
- 7:35you. They try to hurt you because you
- 7:37hurt them. They like a lot of narcissists
- 7:39as y'all have this vengeance mindset where you hurt me.
- 7:43So I have to get vengeance on you.
- 7:45I have to seek vengeance upon you because you hurt me.
- 7:49That's where it goes, y'all. That's where it goes a lot of
- 7:51times in these toxic relationship spaces.
- 7:53And that's why I try to help people understand that this is
- 7:55can help you prepare for that you already y'all.
- 7:57You already know you've been conditioned to be like a lot of
- 8:03narcissists want to surround them.
- 8:04Want to surround themselves with yes men or Yes women.
- 8:08Yes people. They want to.
- 8:10They want Yes people around them for a reason because they don't
- 8:14want to hear the word NO. You tell go to go tell your
- 8:18narcissistic boss no. Or that they're not going to get
- 8:21their way. You're fired.
- 8:22You're suspended. You get demoted, You get.
- 8:25You get home early. You see, when they don't get
- 8:28their way, they're going to react.
- 8:30They're going to react out of character or in character.
- 8:32You might get to see who they really are.
- 8:34Then that's y'all. That's how you can spot a
- 8:36narcissistic person early on. Don't give them their way early
- 8:40on. Y'all got to stop being yes.
- 8:41People so much in the beginning of relationships.
- 8:44Stop saying yes to everything. Because when you you learn more
- 8:47from saying no to someone, you learn way more about somebody.
- 8:51When you say no to them as opposed to saying yes to them,
- 8:53to everything, you learn way more, way more from saying the
- 9:00word no to people. That's powerful.
- 9:03That's impactful. You know that absolutely is it
- 9:08absolutely is. That's powerful.
- 9:10That's impactful. That's the way it goes right
- 9:12there. That's why I tell people that's
- 9:14the space, that's the situation. How it how how it manifests
- 9:17itself, you know That's how it manifests itself into some
- 9:21strength, into some power. Like you know who you're dealing
- 9:23with right now. Set boundaries.
- 9:26Y'all. Set boundaries in the beginning.
- 9:27Make them out themselves in the beginning.
- 9:30Say no, you, I know you don't like these people.
- 9:32They might be physically attractive.
- 9:33They might have the money you're looking for.
- 9:35They might have had a position you're looking for.
- 9:36They might fit every they might check every single box.
- 9:40So you're scared to say no to them.
- 9:41What if I say no and they run off?
- 9:44Let them run off. If you're scared to lose people
- 9:46before you actually get to know who they really are, you're not
- 9:48scared to lose them. You scared?
- 9:49You afraid of being alone? I just made that up too.
- 9:53That was fire. Y'all.
- 9:54Don't. Don't act like that Wasn't fire
- 9:55right there. I just made it on top of my
- 9:57head. The word, the words just flowed
- 9:59right there. I said if you're scared to get
- 10:04to lose someone before you get to know who they really are,
- 10:06that you're not scared of losing them, you're scared of being by
- 10:09yourself, make them out themselves.
- 10:12I'm going to put that on Twitter too, don't you?
- 10:13That's mine. That is mine.
- 10:16That is mine. Oh yeah, I swear I love y'all.
- 10:22I really, really do. Y'all that's whatever.
- 10:23The bottom of my heart. I love.
- 10:24I love my supporters. I I swear I love y'all so much.
- 10:27I I pretty, I truly, truly appreciate every single one of
- 10:31you. I really, really do.
- 10:32I really do. That's something from the bottom
- 10:34of my heart because y'all know y'all been wrong.
- 10:36Y'all been rocking me for years, years.
- 10:38I know this is what I would put off topic, but y'all been
- 10:41rocking me for years and I'm truly grateful for that.
- 10:45I promise I can't. I can't express how grateful I
- 10:47am, you know, I'm grateful to the point where I'm just telling
- 10:51y'all to make people out themselves in the beginning and
- 10:53don't be scared to be by yourself and prepare for the
- 10:56react, prepare for the visual reaction that you're probably
- 10:58going to receive in this person. Y'all anyway, y'all I'm truly
- 11:02appreciative of y'all you made this fall like and subscribe to
- 11:05the channel. Of course Mr., This is out
- 11:07peace. Thank you so much for making it
- 11:10to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
- 11:12Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
- 11:14If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
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- 11:27out. Thank you.
- 11:28I will see you in the next video.
- 11:29Peace.