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Transcript

Chicken Soup for the Blow Hole · Like a Virgin

• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Like a Virgin. I'm Rose Damu.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: And I am Fran Tirado. This is the podcast for pervs, nerds,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: and transsexuals. I guess gay guys too.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, gay guys can listen as a treat.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can listen as a treat, but a lot
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: of the gay guys, but mostly only if you're a
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: gay guy who's also a perv or a nerd. Ideally both.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: And maybe have thought about becoming a transsexual.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you've at least considered it. you're in.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: If you, at one point, if two roads diverged in
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: a yellow wood and one was the wig and one
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: was the weights and you went with the weights but
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: you seriously considered the wig, this is a safe space
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: This is a safe space for you. I, okay, I'm
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: not going to lie, I'm coming to you a little
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: sleep deprived, Rose. And I couldn't fall asleep last night
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: and I employed a self-soothing tactic which is I watched
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: the kind of like lifestyle almost borderline self-helpy videos of
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: this like heterosexual porn star that i love who i've
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: shown you before.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: His sometimes you say things to me and i'm just
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: like i need to put her in a home.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I've showed you this porn star before his name is
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: get dues or that's.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Oh is he the one who's like ugly but you
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: think he's hot.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Well he's like he's ugly in a kind of like
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: inbred way in a kind of kind of like cousin
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: fucking way so he's ugly Okay, yeah, but that's kind of...
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think he's the perfect specimen of man,
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: but literally, I was trying to fall asleep.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Whereas you're the perfect specimen of Fran.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I am the perfect specimen of Fran, and thank you
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: for saying that. These videos are literally just him with
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: his eight dogs in Montreal, being like, life is so good,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: love yourself. Women are beautiful. have sex, don't smoke, don't vape.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Like he's just like, he's like, Oh, I think I
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: enjoy because like, he looks like an apex, the apex
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: of man. He looks like a really toxic person. And
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: I actually don't know if he's like an incredibly toxic person,
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: but like all of his messaging is like, love yourself.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: That's the most important relationship you have in your life.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Just love yourself.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Just like, just like RuPaul and the end of the
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: original sex in the city series.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Wait, what?
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when... RuPaul? Well, if you can't love yourself, how
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: in the hell are you going to love somebody else?
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, oh, oh. I thought you were saying that RuPaul
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: was in the Sex and the City finale.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: No, but then in the finale of Sex and the City,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Carrie says, and if you can find someone to love you,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: and the most important relationship you have is the one
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: you have with yourself, and if you can find someone
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: to love that you love, well, that's just fabulous. And yes,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I do know that by heart, and... That's one of
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: the reasons why I have considered suicide many times.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Right. Speaking of which, you can subscribe to our Patreon.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: You can subscribe to our Patreon.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Instead of consider... If you consider suicide, consider subscribing to
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: our Patreon.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing. And please put your credit card information
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: in at the monthly level recurring before you kill yourself. Because...
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: If you're not subscribed to our Patreon, you're only getting
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: half the story. Certified virgins get monthly bonus episodes, watch
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: list recommendations, paywalled shit posts at patreon.com slash like a virgin.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: This week's bonus episodes are a classic universal monsters ranked
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: by bisexuality list, as well as a new format that
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Rose and I are trying out where we recommend things
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: to you. If you're not familiar, or rather, if you
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: don't know this already, Rose and I constantly are wanting
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: to recommend things to you guys, books, movies, TV shows, media,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: and they don't fit into the main episode. And so
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: we're going to kind of put them all into a
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: list only for the Patreon subscribers on a recurring basis.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: So hop on over there to get it. And Rose, okay,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: this is like almost breaking news. But we honestly have
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: to have a moment of silence. We're gathered here today
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: to mourn the loss of our Instagram handle.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: It's really sad.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Good riddance.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Good riddance.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: It is sad. I loved, you know, Like A Virgin
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: for 2069 was a very specific era of the podcast.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: It was our we don't give a fuck era. It
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: was our bad girl era. It was our.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Who cares about branding? Who cares about palatability?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: It was trying to sort of pull the wool over
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: a certain infamous editrix's eyes so that we could keep
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: publishing in secret era. But now, you know, that we
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: are like, trying to somewhat legitimize this podcast, we have
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: changed the handle on all social platforms. What is it, Fran?
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: It is like a virgin pod on TikTok and Instagram.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: And you know, being a pod is so important.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Being a pod is so powerful. Stories are so powerful.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Stories are so powerful. It's, you know, in a world
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: filled with 42069s, be a pod. Be a pod. Anyways,
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: I think that means, is there anything you want to
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: share about your day, Rose? You weren't up until one
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: o'clock in the morning watching lifestyle videos from your favorite
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: heterosexual porn star?
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I was not, although I did wake up in the
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: night several times more than I usually do. I'm not
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: sure why that was. And I also had a dream
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: about you last night in which you and I got
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: into a fight.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: No.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I know. I know.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: We need to dissect that later. Not on the mic.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Maybe paywalled.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe. Yeah, Rose and Fran go through their dream journals. Yeah, okay. That's, yeah,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: there's nothing worth commenting on. Well, I am going, famously,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: going to Salem, Massachusetts tomorrow, which Fran did ask me
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: to cancel and hang out with her instead.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Which I think is a valid request. Why are you
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: saying that like it's some, you know, out of... Please.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I think that's a valid request.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Sure. Sure. You know what? I'm going to do it.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: But you're going to go on some tours.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I'm going on several walking tours.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: You're going to get some souvenirs.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited. My mom was like, oh my God,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: it's Funky Kong.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Sorry, the versions can't see, but I'm currently showing off
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: my Funky Kong.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: It's Nancy. Oh, wait. My Bratz the Craft Nancy doll.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I'll screen grab this for the virgins. Take a screenshot
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: of this.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It's amazing that Rose has turned me into an adult
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: collector of toys and dolls.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: An adult toy collector, yes.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: But unfortunately, I needed this Funky Kong more than anything,
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: and now I have this. Funky Kong statuette. I'm not
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: calling it an action figure.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: It's an action figure.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: It's a statuette.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: It's an action figure. It's an action figure. Sorry. You'll
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: be going to Salem tomorrow. You have some bucket list items.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Maybe one day when we... Because one of the things
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: we're thinking about doing on Patreon is full-length video episodes.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Maybe one day we could do a toy tour and
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: each show off our collections on video.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Toy tour. That's got to go on YouTube, honestly. Maybe
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: now that IG has long-form video.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we might need to start publishing on YouTube, which
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: is scary because YouTube comments are... The worst comments on
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: the internet.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Somehow worse than Twitter.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Yes. Well, Twitter, it's all bots. Twitter, it's all bots.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: YouTube, it is people sincerely telling you to kill yourself.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Right. Sincerely.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: They mean it. I actually want to share a really
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: rotted comment on one of our videos that did make
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: me chuckle.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: No.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: And it was someone saying that I looked like I
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: was related to Andrew Lloyd Webber.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Wait, what does Andrew Lloyd Webber look like? Is that
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: a compliment?
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: No.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: No. Is he ugly? Wait, that's such a fucking gay
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: thing to say. Oh yeah, the canonically ugly Andrew Lloyd Webber. Like, bro,
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: why do you know what Andrew Lloyd Webber looks like,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: you fucking fag?
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: But it did, even though it made me want to
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: slit my wrists, it also did make me laugh. Right.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: And- That's the thing.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: That's the duality of trans womanhood.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: We're told we need to chuckle. But why not laugh?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I laugh and chuckle at the same time.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Rose, I think it's time for Bricking News, don't you think?
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And here we go.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: This is Bricking News. These are the hottest topics at
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: the intersection of our interests specifically.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: This first item hit me like a nuke when I
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: saw it.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: It.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Love is dead because Chrishell Stoss of Selling Sunset and
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: non-binary rapper, rock star, Australian, G Flip, have ended their
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: three-year marriage. I.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: I could actually hear my heart breaking when I found
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: this out.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: What a loss for the community.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: What a loss for unhinged Twitter lesbians. What a loss
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: for reality show obsessives. What a loss for this podcast specifically.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: It is unclear to everyone. Including Chrishell, why this marriage
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: is ending. She said in a video posted on Instagram
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: that she doesn't, quote unquote, have all the information or
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: the reasons.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: What?
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so here's the thing. Is that
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: deflection and she actually does know? Or is... Is there
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: some cheating? Is there some clownery afoot? Is there some...
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: We don't know.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Word on the street is that G Flip is the
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: one who broke things off. And so it might be
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: a situation where G Flip is like, it's over. And
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Chrishell is like, why? And G Flip is like, g'day, mate.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: That is so... Sorry. The fact that G Flip is
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: the one to end the relationship is so crazy.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. But here's what I have to say. There
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: should already be a camera crew at Chrishell's house. Yeah.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: And there should be a custom AI-composed breakup song, Selling
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Sunset-esque breakup song already completed and ready to back a
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: scene in which she tells a woman in the most
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: improbable outfit ever seen on film what happened.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, she left Selling Sunset, right?
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: She did. And this, if anything, is a reason for
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: her to go back.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Bring back my girls. Bring back my they-thems. So, yeah,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: here's the thing is that Chrishell and G Flip were
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: the kind of Kim and Kanye of, like, tender queers. Like,
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: they were.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: That is true.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: They were the royal couple of like.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know about tender queers. I actually don't think
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: tender queers care about selling Sunset.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? They are literally the royal couple
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: of them to us. Like, they are like the fucking
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Harry and Meghan of serene necroses. Like, you have no
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: idea how much this couple means to a one editor,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Samantha Allen, who is ahead of them to us right now.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: This is... Actually, 9-11. This is 9-11.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: This is a thousand 9-11s.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: This is a thousand 9-11s specifically for people that have
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: chronic illnesses.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: This is World War She.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, this is World War Zeezer.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: We have to move on.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: We have to move on. I mean, wishing all the
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: best to Chrishell, G-Flip, you're dead to me. I did
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: not know who you were before you started dating, Chrishell.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: And now that you're no longer together, you're dead to me.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: You're dead to me. That's why I thought the kind
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: of Kim and Kanye comparison was slightly apt because Kim
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: and Kanye, when they got together, it felt very much
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: so like a kind of arranged marriage that they are
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: mutually profiting off of. And I think that with the
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: two of them, that was true.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think Chris Schell was like somewhat in
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: the culture and G Flip kind of came out of oblivion.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: But Chris Schell gains supreme culture points by dating a
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: they them. Like, like really like leveled up Chris Schell's
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: profile just as a consequence of being queer and with
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: somebody who's non-binary.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: And we love Chris Schell. We stand Chris Schell in
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: this house. Sorry. G Flip, whatever the fuck you did,
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: it's on site.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: Um, You better G flip right back to Australia.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I have like a very quick thing, which is that
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: multiple takes, multiple headlines, editorial platforms claiming that in the
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: success of You Can See Everything, that Nathan Fielder is
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: a sex symbol.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Interesting. I have seen, you have seen everything. You have not,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: so we will not be discussing today. I've heard everything
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: I know all the spoilers.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: But I would like you to see it so we
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: can discuss, and Virgins, it is your homework.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Correct me if I'm wrong, you are not a Nathan
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Fielder fan.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I've never seen anything else he's done.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: But he's the antithesis to me, and maybe I'm projecting,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: but to me he's somebody that is really not your vibe.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: You do not like mumblecore, cringecore. cringe core like no
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: prankster content no like me either me either i hate.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: No but you can see everything was a five-star movie.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: For me yes of course um that's what everyone i
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: totally believe that.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: And i do think he's kind of sexy but i
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: would not call him a sex symbol you.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Think he's kind of sexy rose you're completely i totally
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: thought you would be on my side for this but
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: you actually think he's kind of Rose, come on. Like,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: literally CNN is like, this is a sex, like Nathan Fielder,
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: new sex symbol.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, CNN? Doesn't CNN have better things to do?
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, CNN? What?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, I just wanted to say, like, I was
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: here for, like, the Rat Boys, the Fruity Boys. Like,
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: I love Ugly Hot. Like, Rose and I are constantly
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: talking about this, like, very perfect thing. beauty trend, shovel face,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: where you are hot because you look like you got
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: hit in the face with a shovel. Like, we're into that.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: All down. Nathan Fielder is not any of these things.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: He's just a guy. He's a guy that looks like
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: a guy.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think his just a guy-ness is what
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: makes him sexy.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: We cannot trend being just a guy. We cannot trendify
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: being just a guy.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Who's saying it's a trend? It's about this one specific person.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: I think that, to me, the argument is that, and
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I wonder if this is what happened to you, I
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: think certain Nathan Fielder fans are like, he's a genius,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: he's a genius. And now the broader culture is like,
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: he's a genius. And the talent of him and what
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: he does is what's sexy. Because talent is sexy.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: He's certainly being seen by a wider audience because of
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: this film. But I don't know. I just think he's
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: kind of sexy. I don't think it has to be
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: anything more than that. I don't think there... I'm with
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: you in that we do not need news articles written
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: about this. It's just like a guy can be kind
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: of sexy or not.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Well, I thank you for just like hearing me out.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Please take me into your breaking news.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Next up, a second... plane has hit them.us.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: So many different planes in the last two months.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Um the covid conscious lesbian bar which we discussed a
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: couple weeks ago which was you know the the height
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: of much which was the subject of much mockery um
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: has closed in a statement one of the the owner
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: the infamous owner not the one who went to clown
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: school said we have put our lives on hold to
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: foster networks of care resources and a home base for
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: organizing that's kind of a crazy way to say that
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: you run a bar uh that's my commentary not the
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: statement back to the statement it's time we pass it
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: on we have been fighting since the beginning to fill
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: out the team and we still don't have a board
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: slash leadership to manage workers owned co-op transfer we are
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: soft closing my commentary now not a real thing um
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: back to the statement Effective immediately. All booked events will continue. Otherwise,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: we are closed. Not much to say here. Just felt
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: like an update we should give.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: Right. On a journalistic level, it's our duty actually to
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: update every story that we do talk about. And we do.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Yes. I truly hope that with the closure of this bar,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: we never have to say the words again. COVID-conscious lesbian
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: bar on this podcast again?
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Look, it's been six years since, a little less than
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: six years since like COVID consciousness became a thing. And
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: maybe this could be- Well.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Yes, COVID started six years ago.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Almost seven.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Maybe this is the cresting of
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: all the kind of discourse we want to spew about
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: that you know terrain like maybe we.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: As a society have progressed past the need to make
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: jokes about covid consciousness yes nature is healing okay nature
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: is shielding shielding that is i i had one other
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: thing but i took it off it's like not interesting
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: to anyone but me We need to discuss. Let's move
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: on to our main discussion. Fran and I, I, so I,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: the theater that we saw one of these movies that
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: we're going to talk about today, and I was in three,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: on three separate occasions last week, three days in a row.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I sat in the same theater at Alamo Drafthouse. I
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: had a week full of movies last week. But two
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: of them we saw together and we are going to
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: discuss today. The first one is, oh, and I will say,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I know we said that we were going to talk
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: about paranormal activity. We actually ended up having to move
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: our tickets for it to early November.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: It was an emergency in that we were told that
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: the principal cast was not performing well.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, one of them was out and we wanted to
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: see it with as much of the principal cast as possible.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: So we will be discussing that on a later episode.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: But we did see Clayface, the new DC film, which
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: is part of the DC extended universe. Written in part,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Fran was surprised to find out by Mike Flanagan, who
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: created the Dudukaka Amazon Carrie series that we hated and
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: discussed a few weeks ago.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: Had no idea. Was gagged.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: And I think we felt pretty much the same way
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: about this, which was that we had a fun time
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: watching it and also thought it was very dumb.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, I, as a critic, know that the
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: kind of best way to evaluate something is to kind
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: of tee it up against the last thing that I watched.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: And so the last thing that I watched was Evil
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Dead Burn. And I was like, is this better or
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: worse than Evil Dead Burn? And honestly, I know you'll disagree,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: but I'm not sure it was better than Evil Dead Burn.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: And Evil Dead Burn for me was a pretty mid movie.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Here's the tea mama. I think they're pretty much exactly
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: at the same level. I think I gave them the
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: same rating on Letterboxd, and I think they have all
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: the same problems, which is they have fun sort of
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: theme park attraction effects in them, but the characters are
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: not real people, and I was in no way invested
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: in any of them. Like, Clayface really just felt like taking...
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: action figures, or I guess as you would say about
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Funky Kong figurines.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Statuettes.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Statuettes. And just kind of smashing them together. They're not
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: real people, but sometimes that's fun. I do kind of
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: like that the last two DC projects were, well, I guess, okay,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: there was Superman, which is kind of like a fun movie,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: but the last two, Gotham, projects were the Batman and
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: the penguin. And I like that after both of those,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: they were like, let's do a silly one.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Let's do a silly one. Okay. Can we take a
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: silly one? Yeah. Sorority girls beveling.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And that's very much what Clayface is. And like,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: there were a lot of things I really liked about it.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: I thought it was, had some really incredible body horror
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: that was done very practically. Like there are some insane
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: closeups of like, I can't even remember his name. That's
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: how little of a character he is. Clayface. Of his
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: nose getting cut off. I really liked the final creature
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: design for Clayface. I think we said as we were
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: walking out of the theater, this feels like in the
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: canon of Batman adjacent media, this feels closer to Batman Forever,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Batman and Robin than Batman Christopher Nolan or Matt Reeves'
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: The Batman.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: It's giving Joel Schumacher kind of Batman.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: It's like somewhere in the middle, which is nice.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: It's giving villain Fantasia. It's giving kind of the Riddler's
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: Latte Art kind of levels of Batman, which the real
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: virgins know what that means.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: For sure. Like there's a dance sequence in the movie.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. There's a dance sequence in this movie.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: And honestly, one of my favorite parts of the film,
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I really wish there was like kind of a surrealism
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: in that moment. And there's a version of this movie
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: that was that. You know what I mean? There was
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: a kind of Bollywood kind of like version of this
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: movie that could have been maybe slightly more I'm not
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: going to say campy, but yeah, surrealist that I think
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: could have been so interesting.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: That's where he felt kind of closest to Clayface from
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: the Harley Quinn series.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Yes. Clayface from the Harley Quinn series. Okay, so virgins,
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: let's just give you a little bit of context about
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: how Rose and I are entering the Clayface movie. First
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: of all, you know, Marvel is just plummeting.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Shit from above.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Shit from above, plummeting in stock price.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Every trailer I see of Avengers Doomsday, I'm like, this
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: is not a real movie.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: And the marvelification of superhero entities in general have become
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: relentlessly kind of like realist and unfun. And so the
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Clayface as an entry into superhero films is so exciting.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: And the fact that this movie exists to me is
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: like its greatest accomplishment. It is a horror film. It
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: is a villain origin story. it is reliant on an
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: extremely fantastical premise and therefore cannot be super duper realist.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: It has to be like vials and beakers. I fell
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: into some chemical X what's going to happen. You know
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, and that is, and then, you know,
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: somebody has superpowers and that to me is like, so
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: like what we go to superhero movies for. And then also, okay.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Rose and I, we come to this place for magic.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: We come to this place for magic. We come to
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: the HBO Max Harley Quinn series for magic. Riz and
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I loved the first couple seasons and Clayface in that series.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: The characterization is that he's like kind of the most
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: annoying theater guy, theater gay ever. I can't remember if
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: he's bi in the TV show or if that's Bane.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: He's probably like ace.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's probably ace. But he's like a terrible actor.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: And his life's dream is to be on Broadway and
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: to be a star. And he lives for the artistry
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: of inhabiting a character. And I do think that this...
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: this version of Clayface gave us a little bit of that.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: He does get nominated for an Oscar within the first
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: 10 minutes of the film.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, it was like the first six minutes. Like it
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: was great. It was so quick.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I loved how- I did appreciate that the, his sort
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: of like the ruination of his life in the beginning
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: of the movie happens very quickly. And then he is fat, nasty,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: and broke. He came on this– he was at his lowest.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: He came on this bitch mad as hell. Yeah.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And that is the Clayface we want to see
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: because he is, like, a flop. That's– his origin story is.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: That he's a flop. He's a huge flop.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, I want to know if there's, like, other–
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I don't really even– there's so many, like, easy things
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: that we can say about what we didn't like about
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: the movie. But I can't really– I don't know what's
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: helpful to share or if the virgins want to know
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: more of the plot, maybe we should.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: The plot is Clayface, whatever his real name is, is
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: this kind of rising star actor. I would say he's
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: maybe like a Jacob Elordi. He's like just starting to
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: get treated seriously.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: He's a leading man.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: He's a leading man.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: A new leading man.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: He is, he came from nothing in Gotham. He was like,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: from the wrong side of the tracks, you know, the
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: worst part of town. Um, and when he is back
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: in Gotham, uh, on a, on like a promo tour,
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: he hooks up with this woman at a nightclub, despite
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: hearing that she is the girlfriend of an infamous mob boss.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: And so that mob boss who does say that he
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: wants to fuck him. So by sexuality representation, when, um,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: then carves up his face the next day through a
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: series of, you know, like underhanded shenanigans. He is like
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: put through all these like painful surgeries that don't fix
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: his face. His money gets stolen from him. He loses
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: his career. And then he finds out about an experimental procedure,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: the science of which is like, Completely unexplained. So unimportant
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: and unexplained.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Doesn't need to be.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: It has the word nano in it. And so my
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: eyes just kind of rolled to the back of my head.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: That's all that we needed to hear was nano cells.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: And my body vibrated and I was like, whatever. And
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: so Naomi Aki, who I love, but whose character is like,
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: doesn't exist in this movie.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: I think kind of the most, the lowest part of
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: the film. Yeah. And not her, because she's great.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: No, she's great.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: But what was written for her is doo-doo.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: She is like literally it's like reading a fanfic and
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: it's like an author self-insert character so that they get
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: to make out with Clayface. So she injects these like
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: nano whatever into his face. It like gives him back
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: his looks, but then he starts kind of melting and
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: being goopy and and then realizes that he can morph
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: into different people. And so he decides to use that
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: to get revenge. Spoiler alert, he does. And by the
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: end of the film, he has, you know, evolved, devolved
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: into his final clay face form, which I did think
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: was Cunty.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Cunty. Incredible, incredible character design.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: So... As much as I loved a lot of the gore,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: and it did seem like there were a lot of
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: practical effects in this movie, some of the CGI was
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: so bad.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I think I wrestled with quality control
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: on the film overall because... this is before I knew
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Mike Flanagan was a part. And now that I know
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: that Mike Flanagan is in, and I'm kind of like, Oh,
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: this makes sense because I don't actually think that he
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: creates quality projects.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Sorry.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: But what I thought, what I was kind of like,
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: because it's a horror in DC, that is so like
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: next level prestige horror. black belt jujitsu movie making. Like
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: to say this villain origin story is going to be
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: released in October. It's going to give ooky, spooky, ding
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: dang dooky, mega la mooky. I'm like, that's sickening. And
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: so I think I was expecting the filmmaking to be
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: a little better.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: No, it's a little schlocky.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: The filmmaking was schlocky. It was giving schlock. But that's kind.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Of what's charming about it.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: That's what superhero movies used to be.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: That's what they always used to be.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: It was a return to form in some ways, in
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: a way that I enjoyed a lot of the time.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, ultimately, I boomerang back around to, I like that
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: we got a kind of schlocky superhero horror movie released
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: in December. Kind of no one's doing it like that.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah. no one's doing it like that. And even if
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: the film was not incredible, what we got was Clayface
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: transforming himself into a girl a bunch of times. Yes.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: That was really important.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Representation win.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Yes. That was a really important for me to see. Um,
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: we got a lot of stabby stabby. We got a
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: lot of like, um, just a lot of like, um, emotional, really,
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: really intense emotional stakes and plot points that are truly
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: just glazed over. Like, not important. You don't need to
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: know the details of this, this, and this. And I'm like, yeah, sure.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of telling us that this is really
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: serious and devastating, but not showing it to us.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: But you know what?
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Little interiority.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: We had a good time.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: Great time.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: We ate a bag of incredible maple popcorn from Trader Joe's.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Baby. Baby. That TikTok popcorn popped off.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: So good. Let's talk about the other movie we saw together.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: I'm really excited about this whale fall discussion.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: We saw whale fall.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: I would say.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Let's give a brief plot synopsis.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Which is, it's about this college kid played by Austin
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Abrams from Resident Evil.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: He....
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: His father, who is some kind of like, like fisherman,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: deep sea diver or whatever, has died a year prior
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: by committing suicide because he was dying of lung cancer.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: So he like wrapped a bunch of weights around himself
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: and threw himself in the ocean. The main character has
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: a lot of unresolved daddy issues. So he decides to
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: go looking for his father's body. And while he was
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: doing so, he gets swallowed by a whale. And that's
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: literally the plot. He has to spend, he has 45
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: minutes of oxygen and has to get out of the whale.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: I would say, and here's the thing is, getting in
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: and out of the whale, these are the best parts
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: of the movie. Everything that happens in the whale is incredible.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: All of the body horror is incredible. I have virtually
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: no notes. on the horrific aspects of this movie, the
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: practical effects, the, um, the sleep, slimy, slippery, gaggery, goobery.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: It was so thrilling and frantic. Fran and I were gasping.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: We were on the edge of our seats.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: And then, and then the other 50% of this movie
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: is something like, um, Austin Abrams waking up at four
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: 30 in the morning, uh, having had a dream about
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: his father. And, you know, he gets all of his
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: scuba diving gear. He goes to his mother's bedside. He
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: looks at like the note that his father left him
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: that he hasn't opened yet. He looks standing right next
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: to his sleeping mother. He looks out into the distance
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: and he says out loud, I'm going to find him.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, unfortunately, this movie has, to me, the least compelling
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: theme possible, which is daddy issues. Daddy issues. There is
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: father-son drama. As someone who has a bad relationship, well,
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: bad to zero relationship with their father, I am not
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: the target audience for a moving story about a child
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: and their dad. it's just never going to work for me.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: And in this movie, it especially doesn't work because at
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: a certain point in the movie, the dad becomes the
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: whale or the whale becomes the dad. Unclear. I, the
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: whale speaks to Austin Abrams in the dad's voice, which
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: is also just sort of maybe his inner voice.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: But there's a deus ex machina thing that kind of
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: happens where yes the whale and the father kind of
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: conflate and the whale and the father fuck and and
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: austin abrams has been beat up inside this whale he's
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: been split burned broken battered and strangled strangled.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: He's dissolved in acid and so he's.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: Maybe having a a psychoactive moment.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: He also gets um the whale dives to the bottom
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: of the ocean and like his eardrums pop and somehow
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: he doesn't die from that.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: It's he, yeah.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: The science is not exactly, you know, Well, we don't.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Come to this place for science. Right. We come to
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: this place for magic. I was trying to, I was like,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: have I ever enjoyed a movie about fatherhood? And I
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, Mrs. Doubtfire.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: Yes. The best movie about fatherhood ever made.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: That's the only movie about fatherhood.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: And also I mean also we have to say it's
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: also about motherhood.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: It's that and then it's like Finding Nemo and like.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: I don't fuck with Finding Nemo goofy movie you don't
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: like Finding you don't like Finding Nemo I think it's
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: probably because I was forced to watch it so many
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: times when my sisters were little because they loved it
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: and it came out around the time that they were
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: toddlers and I just like okay I hate it.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Okay that's fair that's fair that's fair um but you
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: know Oh, and there's also like the Lion King, but
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: the Lion King is Hamlet. So it's Hamlet.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: And like Hamlet's fine. Is Hamnet about fatherhood or is
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: it about motherhood?
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: It's about motherhood.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay. Well, yeah. Also, you know, not really wanting
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: to watch a movie about dads, not really wanting to
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: watch a movie about men. I thought this movie, I
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: saw this movie for one reason. And that reason was
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Austin Abrams.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: And he delivered. He's so good. at being pathetic.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: He's an, he is an ingenue. He is like, he
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: is like such a fresh kind of like panicked human
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: engaging and hilarious. He's really funny.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: A hilarious, really funny, but also like has such a
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: sad face. He was the, he has, um, The kind
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: of face and body that was made for gay fan
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: fiction to be written about.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, he looks like Scott Pilgrim. Like, he looks like
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: just something graphic novel-y, kind of toony.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm sorry that you know the podcast you're listening to.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: There are scenes between him and Josh Brolin where I
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: just found myself thinking, this should be a porn episode.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: This should be a porn. Well, Josh Brolin's character. So
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: Austin Abrams, to me, the film, the gaze on him
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: through the lens was not sexy. Josh Brolin was giving sex.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: Like, you know, tattooed.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: He's kind of crazy. He's like weathered. He is always shirtless.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: I don't think he had his shirt on once for
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: the entire film.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: He's always drunk. He's always ornery.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: He's always coughing because lung cancer. Well, right.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: How are we as the audience to know that he's
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: going to die if he doesn't cough?
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Constantly.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: Here and there. Constantly. Yes. Consumption. It is.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: He's literally sateen in Moulin Rouge.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: But, you know, I am curious to know. If you
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: found the film to be like, to me, it delivered
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: exactly on its promise, which was body horror and he's
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: trapped in a whale. You know what I mean? Similarly,
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: it's a.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Very effective movie about being trapped in a whale.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Similarly, it's like Clayface, I think, you know, delivered on
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: its promise, which is his face. It's made of clay.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? They're like whale fall. It's
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: like he fell into the whale. I mean, there's the
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: meaning of whale fall.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: When they tell you what a whale fall is, I
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: thought that was so dumb. But like it's balanced out
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: by like, the scenes where, cause the whole reason he
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: gets sucked into the whale is because a squid that
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: the whale is trying to eat grabs onto him. And
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: all this stuff with the squid is so scary.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: It's scary.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: And like when he's like in the stomach chamber, getting
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: his hands burned by stomach acid, it's like, it's, it's
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: super fun and a little dumb. And so for as
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: a movie about a guy being trapped on a whale,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: It absolutely succeeds. Yes. As everything else, you know, whatever.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Well, you watch, you hear the premise of this film,
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: and if you haven't seen it, you know, the Virgin's
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: probably at home thinking, well, how are they going to
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: fill a whole movie's worth of content about a dude
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: getting trapped in a whale? And, you know, you watch
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: it and you're like, oh, that's how. And 40% of
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: it is, unfortunately, monologue-y, schlock-y kind of father-son... Chicken soup
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: for the soul kind of like storytelling.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: It was chicken soup for the blowhole. Yeah.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: Chicken soup for the blowhole. And that is– even though
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: that's less enticing, they really do fill quite a lot
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: of content trapped inside of a whale. And that is
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: exactly what I wanted. And I didn't– even if it
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: was sometimes a little silly, it was real enough where
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I really felt– my greatest kind of fears recognized.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. We have talked about how we are both very
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: afraid of deep ocean. This really nails that fear.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: The bottom of the sea is the scariest possible thing
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: anyone can imagine.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: And the entire sequence at the bottom of the sea
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: with the orcas is really cool. All the echolocation stuff.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: And then as soon as it's like, call your family
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: for help. I'm like, okay, wrap it up.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: But, um, I talks to the whales so much.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: So much. Well, you know, he's stuck in a will.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: He has to talk to himself. And also, like, it
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: would not be a compelling movie if there wasn't dialogue.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I don't have much more to say about this movie,
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: but I know that you really saw this as a
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: fertile ground for some religious comparisons. So I would really
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: like to let Jesus take the wheel for the rest
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: of this episode and for you to sort of get
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: on your pulpit and give a sermon.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Honestly, I did not think that the opportunity to
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: talk about the Bible would come back to me so soon.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: But the thing is, Rose, that.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Kind of come back like Jesus coming back from the dead.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: Well, let me tell you, the prodigal son, that is
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: a lot of this story. If you don't know, I
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: don't know if you know this, Rose, but Whale Fall
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: is obviously based on a book and the author of
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: the original book, Daniel Krauss has said that this is
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: a reimagining of the story of Jonah. So this is.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Can you explain, like, TLDR, what Jonah and the Whale
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: is about to me?
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: I don't think I can give you the short version because,
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: you know, Rose, concision, not my strong suit. But if
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: we want, we can do secular Bible study with Sister
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: Fran because the Bible is what? Mythology. And mythology is fun.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: We love mythology. Mythology. Did you grow up with this story? No.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: All I know is that he gets trapped in a whale.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: You never had a Yom Kippur? Because a lot of
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: Yom Kippur, sorry, this is me as a non-practicing Jew
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: trying to tell you what your culture is. But I
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: thought that they read this story out loud in full
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: every Yom Kippur. No. No, never happened for you. Okay,
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: so your familiarity with the story is light.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Light to non-existent.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited. I am, you know, going to resist
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: the urge to blow through everything. Please interrupt me if
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: you have questions, if you have comments. Okay? I don't
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: want to go too fast. But basically... there is this
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: Israeli is there is this Israeli influencer named Jonah. Um,
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: he is represented by this like huge talent agency. Okay.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: It's like the company's called like Lord God incorporated. Okay. And, um,
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: his boss, Lord God, uh, calls him up. He's like, listen,
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: I need you to go to Iraq. And, and, um,
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: we're working on this new campaign. It's in Iraq and,
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: we need you to go there and influence. Jonah, okay,
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: I don't, again, you don't have that much familiarity, but
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: like what I was taught, how Christians talk about Jonah,
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: how Jonah is taught in Bible school, he is regarded
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: as like a Saint Rose. Like he is this kind
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: of like contrite prophet learning the ultimate lesson in humility.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: But like if you read the text of the Bible,
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: actually textually speaking, from beginning to end, Jonah truly sucks.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: He is, to kind of apply a more literary term,
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: a little bitch. And so Jonah, he gets this call
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: from Lord God. God is like, go to Iraq. I
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: need you to spread the word. And this little bitch
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: is like, no way. I am not doing that. Okay,
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: I don't fuck with Iraqis. I'm not going to Iraq.
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: I'm scared. I'm probably a little bit racist too. if
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: not a lot racist. And he literally kind of like
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: declines the call from God. He's like, and he books
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: a cruise to like Mykonos or like, I mean, wherever
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: he goes, it like doesn't really matter where, but it's
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: like in the opposite direction.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: He is on the lamb. He is on his virgin
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: cruise ship. He's like, let's go. He gets on this
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: cruise ship filled with pagans. And mind you, and this
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: is all texts, right? Like Iraq, Israel, pagans, like, I'm
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: actually trying to give you the truest version of this story.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: He gets on this ship filled with pagans. Lord God
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Incorporated is like, oh, bitch, you forgot I own the sea, okay?
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: I am a majority stakeholder in the ocean, okay? You're
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: trying to escape. God sends this huge storm. All the
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: pagans are absolutely shitting themselves. Like, they are so scared
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: because the storm is tearing them up They're praying to
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: every God. They're throwing stuff overboard. They're like, damn, we
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: pissed off someone powerful. What the hell did we do
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: to deserve this? And then they go down to the
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: bottom of the ship and they find Jonah, who is
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: like literally at the bottom of the cruise line, just napping.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: He's just passed out as this storm is like pounding
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: this boat's pussy out. Like it's crazy. And the pagans
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: are like, Like, what the fuck? Like, that's, like, the
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: craziest thing to be doing when our lives are in peril.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It's, like, it's exactly like what I
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: did when we were in that earthquake in Mexico where
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I just got back into bed.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Wait. Rose, there was an earthquake in Mexico.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: You literally got back into bed.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm Jonah. Yeah.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay. So that actually, I think, works its way
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: into what I think is a bit of the lesson
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: of Jonah, which I'll get to. But, you know, Jonah's
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: at the bottom of this boat. He's asleep. The pagans
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: wake Jonah up. They're like, who are you? Where are
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: you from? What's your job? And he wakes up and
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: he's like, I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish. And they're like, okay,
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: if we're pagan and you're Jewish, then who's driving this bus?
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: and the pagans are like bro okay did you do
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: anything to piss off god corporate llc and he's like
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: well now that you mention it um and the pagans
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: are like okay what should we do and jonah's like
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: ugh kill me and they're like what like it's just
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: like it's like classic Like, the narcissism of clinical depression. Like,
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: I would rather be dead than, like, culpable for my actions.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like, that– I was like,
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: I see myself in that.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, for sure.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And jonah so jonah's like kill me kill me
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: and the pagans are like whoa this guy is dark
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: and the pagans are like okay i don't know if
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: we should kill this guy and the storm's like and
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: they're like okay actually no let's let's kill him and
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: they throw him overboard um and famously so.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: He's kind of like rose and titanic he's.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: Like rose and titanic Pretty much. He's pretty much, if
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: you think about it, exactly Rose and Titanic. Except Rose
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: and Titanic is a likable character and Jonah is kind
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: of a piece of shit. Famously, he's thrown into the
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: ocean and he's immediately swallowed by a whale. And the whale.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what happens when you get in the ocean.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: Right. And the whale, obviously, also like an entity owned
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: by God, corporate. And in the Bible, it's actually not
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: a whale. It's like a huge fish, but it's a whale.
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: It's specifically a sperm whale, which as I learned from
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: research is the only underwater creature whose esophagus is wide
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: enough to fit a human being. So this sperm whale,
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: her throat game is crazy.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: Nancy Reagan up in here.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So this is so, again, I was asking if
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: you had, okay, the midrash version of Jonah has like a,
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: crazy spin on this. Jonah's swallowed by a big fish,
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: not a whale. Jonah's swallowed by a big fish.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: That doesn't sound kosher.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: No, not at all. When he's swallowed by a big fish,
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: the fish circles the earth several times, and then a
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: leviathan slash whale pulls up to the big fish where
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: Jonah is inside. And the leviathan is like, I'm going
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: to eat this big fish.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: So it's sort of a turducken situation.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: It's sort of a turducken situation it's sort of a
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: Russian doll situation and like as a lot of kind
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: of like Jewish folkloric stories go um a divine being
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: comes into the story they go does this person deserve
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: to die they check his cock and they're like oh
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: he's circumcised okay I'm not gonna eat him and then
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: the leviathan like kind of swims away but anyways back
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: to the bible Jonah sits in this fish for three days.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: He is depressed. He literally doesn't do anything except like
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: write poetry.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: Sounds kind of nice.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: I know, right? Like, it's so funny. Like, did you
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: watch Pinocchio? Like Disney's Pinocchio growing up?
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: That movie has like so greatly kind of like warped
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: our idea of like what the inside of living inside
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: a whale could be like. It's so like cavernous.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's very cozy.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: And in Whalefall, it's like a womb. Like, you do
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: not have room to swim around, move around.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: A womb that's going to kill you.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of like a sensory deprivation tank that is, like,
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: Hellraiser themed.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: It's sort of like, it's cavernous, but in, like, cave diving,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: where it's, like, very claustrophobic.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, um... Yeah, it's, I think I was like, that's
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: like something that I really loved about Waleful is like, the, the, again,
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: I'm saying realism, which is so silly, but the, the
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: attention to like, oh, this is how big the whale's
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: stomach is, it is like so horrifying to, and claustrophobic
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: to be trapped inside that space and know that your
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: doom is imminent, like that is like so scary to me.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: Which is why every 30 seconds I thought, That's when
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: I would have killed myself.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: That's when I would have killed myself. Surely he will
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: kill himself now. And what's funny is like, you would think,
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: so Jonah is like so manic depressive. You would think
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: that he would have killed himself by now too. I mean,
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: he's literally in the Bible being like, kill me, kill me.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: And anyways.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: Just like a man, I'll talk, no follow through.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: I'll talk, no follow through. God, so he, Jonah's like,
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: finally prays to God. He's like, please save me. And
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: God's like, okay, sure. The whale pukes him up and
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: God's like, go to Iraq. And Jonah's like, ugh, fine,
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: I'll go to Iraq. This is where every major retelling
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: of Jonah from like VeggieTales to Bible school like ends. Like,
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: this is like the end of the story. Jonah has
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: learned his lesson. He's a saint. He has demonstrated contrition.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: But what's So funny is like in the actual text
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: of the Bible, this story has like a kind of crazy,
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: nonsensical and like really damning depiction of Jonah in terms
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: of like how he reacts to this whole situation as
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: the denouement of the book of Jonah.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Sort of a third act twist.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: A third.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: It's like barely a twist. It's more like a... What's
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: like a movie that like ends really... You know what
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: it's like? It's like the end of Hope. It's like
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: the end of Hope where you're like, oh, this is
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: such a major fucking bangerang story. I know that the
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: denouement and climax is going to ladder up to this.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: And then the climax and denouement is like a wet fart.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: And like the last scene, you're like, huh? So Jonah...
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: He brought the latest campaign to the Iraqis. The Iraqis
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: are like, yay, thank you. We love this. And after
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: all that, after Jonah has had multiple near-death experiences at
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: the behest of God, having had his ass handed to
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: him at his lowest, fat, nasty, and broke, after all that,
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: Jonah is still, he's like, fuck the Iraqis. They don't
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: deserve my latest campaign. I hope they all die. That's
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: literally like his attitude. Isn't that crazy? And he leaves
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: the city. He sits outside the city walls and he
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: just sits down and he watches like the city of
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: Nineveh slash Iraq from afar with the hope that he
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: will get to watch them die. Like watch them be smote.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: And the sun is like beating down on him. And
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: he's like, and like, and so God grows this huge
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: plant that provides him shade question mark. And Jonah's like gagged.
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: He's like so happy to have been provided shade, which
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: is like the only time in the entire book of
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: Jonah where he's like content with the circumstances of his life.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: And then God sends a little worm that eats the
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: plants and And the plant dies and he's in the
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: beating sun again. And he's like, and he's like, what
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: the fuck? What's going on? What the hell? I want
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: to die. Kill me. Kill me. He's literally like, kill me.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: The sun is so hot. Been there. And then God
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: comes down and he attempts this kind of like mic
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: drop moment that like still doesn't make sense to me.
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: God is kind of like, you cared about this plant. well,
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: how do you think I feel about the people of Nineveh,
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: all the Iraqi children and the animals too, bro? Like
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: he's like, period. And Jonah's like, what? And then the
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: book ends.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. What a lame ending.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: It is. But you know, the book of Jonah, to me,
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: it's like just about like disordered, like pattern behavior. Like
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: when you fall into like an addiction, a depression, a
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: rut in your life, And you don't even know that
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: you're in a rut. You know, like I think Jonah
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: asleep on the boat is like a perfect image for,
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: you know, you seeking comfort instead of like when you
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: should be seeking the truth. Like you're told you should
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: go to rehab and you're like, no, I'm going to
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: go to Berghain. And you're like, you know, asleep inside
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: the fucking Berghain bathrooms, like perched up against a urinal.
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: Like people are pissing on you. Berghain is like, well,
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: this is like too much even for us, like go
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: to rehab. And instead of going to rehab, you like
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: drop acid at like four o'clock in the morning. And
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: like only after you go to the hospital, do you
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: like finally learn your lesson and go to rehab? Like,
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: I think that is like maybe the cool thing about
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: the metaphor of the whale and maybe how we can
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: link it back to the film. The whale is kind
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: of your rock bottom. And when Jonah is swallowed by
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: the whale, you're like, oh, he's toast. Like this is over.
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: And he is going to die. This is the worst
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: thing that could happen to him. But if he hadn't
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: been swallowed by that whale, he would have drowned at sea.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: Like he would have been drowned. So the whale in
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: a sense did save his life. And I think that
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: that's what the book of Jonah kind of teaches us
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: is it's like sometimes like the worst thing that could
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: ever happen to you is death. the best thing that
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: will happen to you, but like in disguise. I don't
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: know if the end of whale fall is like, this
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: is the best thing that's ever happened to me, but
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: it did heal his relationship with his father.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And with his family and, you know, allowed him
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: to move on. And I'm sure he's going to make
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of money with his like tell all book
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: slash podcast.
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: Right. And honestly, for the virgins, we're not going to
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: spoil anything. We're not going to spoil how he gets
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: out of the whale, right?
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it's kind of I think
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: it's kind of funny.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah. Let's, let's spoil it. Okay.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: Spoiler warning. He gets out of the whale by blowing
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: it up. He uses, he uses his oxygen tank and
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: the toxic air inside the whale's esophagus to create, and
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: a battery that he randomly has, like, cause he used
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: it to weigh himself down to create an explosion. And
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: he blows himself up out of the whale.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: He goes, Bill Nye the Science Guy on this bitch. Like,
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: it is so good. He attempts to get out of
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: the whale so many different ways, which is another thing
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: that I really love.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, I giggled so much of the shot where he's, like,
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: in the whale's mouth when it surfaces. And he's like,
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: help me!
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: It is, like, an incredible, like, on a writing level,
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: an incredible... incredible exercise to be like, how much content
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: can I get out of such a limited space? Did
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: you ever take a playwriting class or anything like that?
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: In my very first playwriting class, we had an exercise
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: that was inspired by Edward Albee's The Zoo, which takes
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: place entirely on a bench at a park. Two characters
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: sitting on a bench at a park. And so the
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: writing exercise was write a scene that takes, that takes
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: place exclusively on a bench. How much can you milk
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: from that? And this is like, it's a, it's like,
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: this is a version of that, that to such spectacular effect,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: there is so much.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: Except the bench is in a whale.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: Except the bench is in a whale and you're inside.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: What animal would you want to be stuck inside of?
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: Uh, are we talking about like, what can I fit
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: inside of? Are we talking about just like, if I
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: could be inside any animal, pick one.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: What animal would you want to have to get your
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: way out of?
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: I suppose something nice like a snake. I think that
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: could be pretty easy.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: You think so? Because you'd be so constricted. How would
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: you even... I.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: Assume that by sheer force, I could bust my way
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: out of the belly.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: You say that, but snakes are very strong and powerful.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: They are very strong, but like the skin... I'm not
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: trying to reckon with the skin of a whale. You
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like the layers of whale you
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: have to blow through... You require a bomb and blowing
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: your head off.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Snakes kill like rhinoceroses.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: So what would your answer be? What's the animal with
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: the thinnest skin?
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I wouldn't say the thinnest skin, but I would
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: love to be in a sort of Ace Ventura when
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: nature calls situation where he's inside the animatronic rhino and
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: then births himself out of its ass.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: We need a trans reclamation reboot. Of Ace Ventura. And
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: it's still called Ace Ventura, but he's asexual.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: But she's a girl. But she's a dude.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, she's blind. No, seriously, if it's Ace Ventura
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: and he's just Ace....
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: A great movie that will never get made.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: I would make it.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: Well, virgins, come back next week to hear our take
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: on the plot of the art All Trans Ace Ventura reboot.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: Right. We also have some homework for the virgins.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, some homework. We are going to discuss next week
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: the film Wicker starring Alexander Skarsgård and Olivia Colman, which
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: I have seen. Fran will be seeing it. And we
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: are also going to discuss You Can See Everything, which
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: we briefly talked about earlier in this episode.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not positive
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: I'm going to see You Can See Everything.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: Well, okay, if you don't, should I talk about it
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: in our recommendations?
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: Episode on the Patreon?
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: I would love that.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll switch out one of my... I'll switch out
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: one of my things I was going to talk about
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: for You Can See Everything.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: So, if you want to hear... Because I haven't seen it,
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: but I do have a lot of thoughts on the
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: circumstances in general. So, if you want to hear our
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: paywall discussion on You Can See Everything, you can mosey
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: on over to patreon.com slash likeavirgin, where we release bonus episodes.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: And in our watch list slash consumption list... coming out
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: this month. We will talk about You Can See Everything.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: Happy Halloween. This is the last week of October. So
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: we'll be back here next year. Next year. We'll be
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: back next week. And the thing that you can be
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: comforted by is that things are always spooky on this podcast.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: Spooky season doesn't end when October ends. Babies.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: Babies. Babus. Babus.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: Spooky all year round. So love you. 365 Spooky Girl.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: Make sure you check your candy for razor blades if
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: you go trick-or-treating.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: And if you see any, bring them over to me.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: I'm using them for a school project.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to slit my wrist with them.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: Bye. Bye.