Latest / The You Project / #2141 The Cafe Chat - Dr Sam Casey

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#2141 The Cafe Chat - Dr Sam Casey · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Good. I tell him it's you project. I am in
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: the middle of two beautiful women Dr Sam Casey and
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook oh TIFFs looking around for the beautiful woman.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I see what you did there. Don't don't sell yourself short.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: That's Scott's job. Yeah, that Scott's job.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: He does a terrible job.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know. I think he's built
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: a little bloody temple of you at his actual house
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: up in bumfuck or wherever he lives, southern out out eastern,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: you know, wherever. But he does love you, I mean
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: you are loved by him like it's like the fucking
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Golden Retriever. It just looks up at you with those
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: big goofy eyes. Except he's got no hair. So maybe
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: we'll call him a bisenji. Do you know what a is?
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen a bissenji? No, it's a kind
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: of dog. Look it up. I'm not sure on the spelling.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I think it's b E, S, E and J I
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: or similar. And they don't bark. They don't bark. They
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: can't bark. Just double check. I could be full of shit,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: But when I was a kid, my uncle used to
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: breathe them and yeah. So they're a barkless dogs. So
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: for people who don't want to annoy the shit out
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: of their neighbors, get a bisenji. Yeah, doctor Sam, you
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: didn't know that, did you? No?
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: And you always hear about like the Golden retriever energy
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: or like that's like a thing, right, but you don't
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: hear yeah any up types.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, so yeah, tips a bit of a
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: golden Retriever. She's more of a yellow Lab when it
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: comes to food and focus. Right. She can focus until
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: she's hungry, and then she's fucking She goes from nine
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: out of ten value to one.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I don't like that, but I get a bit hungry
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: like that coming on, like I need something to eat.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: That must be a girl thing, because Tiff gets hungry
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: all the time. She mainly gets angry when she trains.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: Happened midwork out last week, didn't it?
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Oh? Sure did? When you just a delight to be around,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck off and go and eat some cake.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Fuck off sogeny cake with you when you hang out.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Ah, that's that's just what we need in the gym
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: break glass in case of angeriness. You know, there's a
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: fucking chocolate muffin and Tiff just smashing the glass with
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a fist. Yeah, I don't think that would last too
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: long in the gym, Doctor Sam Casey all the way
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: from Western Australia, how are you.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I'm good Now.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I did a little check in, but let's do a
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: one minute check in on you, because it's not all
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: about us, it's a bit about you, and even though
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: you're the problem solver, we need to you know, we
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: didn't need to make sure you're traveling. Okay. Now, you
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: and I had a little chat before our last podcast.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Could you had a a not small speaking gig coming
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: up in quite a in front of quite a few people.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: How did you if ten? Now ten's based on your
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: ten how do you what would you score? Would you
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: have given yourself out of ten run?
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I would say maybe like six?
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Wow, okay, okay. Now, upon reflection, what would you do different?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: What's one or two things? Because Tip's a speaker as well,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: and she's a little bit ahead of where you're up
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: at in terms of development and evolution and working in
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: the space. But so what did you learn, what would
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: you do different or what would you change?
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: It's really good when you get to see other people
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: speaking too, So sometimes at these events, right like, you're
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: not the only speaker.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: There's a few others.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: And it's good to see the different types of presentations
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: as you're sitting there.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: And what I've noticed is.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: I like more off the presentations that say less on
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: the slides. And I think I'm one to be like,
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: I have so much I want to say, and I
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: want to put things in the sides and almost like
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: over prepare. But I think the most powerful presentations aren't
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: necessarily about someone trying to give as much information as possible.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: It's also being able to provide this experience, right, And
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: I think when we have imagery and you know, less
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: is kind of best in this, we are able to
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: really tap into it being more for conversation.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: And so I think my takeaway and.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Since then I've been going to some other professional development
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: type things, but yeah, so since then, I've really noticed
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: that it is more important to make it more for conversation,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: to really focus on that connection with the audience. And
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: I think the more that we can do that, which
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: is again picking maybe topics that are really yet this
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: is I know where I'm going with this, And in
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: the imagery to kind of help us. Along with that,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I think the better presentations would be.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: So that is the goal.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Wow, amazing, Well six out of ten. My first was
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: a fucking one point three out of ten. So you
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: smashed me out of the park.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Trying this like a new thing where I like try
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: and be a bit more or less critical of myself,
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: so rather than being like zero for everything, that's.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Good, that's good. But I was at one point three
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: like they hated me, so I wasn't being They couldn't
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: get out of there fast enough. It was like I
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: had some kind of toxic condition. They had to evacuate
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: the room. Anyway, That's all right, I got better. I'm
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: now I'm a two now and I'm just fucking I'm
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: rocketing up to a three by next Christmas. You know
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: what's interesting is that, like, you know a lot, You've
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: got a PhD, you know a lot, You've done a
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: lot of work, You've had thousands of conversations, and you
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: can talk. You've very got a good vocab. You're very chatty,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: and if anything like, I don't think we've ever had
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: a guest who produces as many words per minute as
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: you do.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Efficient.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, let's call it that. Yeah. Sure, I mean
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: some say motor mouth, but let's go with efficient. Right,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: So that's beautiful. No, you do, you talk really well,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: But isn't it different how when you're going to do
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: essentially the same thing in a different context, how differently
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: you appro You go, Well, I talk about this stuff
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: or a version of this stuff all the time, and
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: now I'm doing it out there, and it's just me
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: on this stage and all these faces looking at me,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: and no one's talking back. It's just me. It's a
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: different kind of dynamic, right, Yeah.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: And I think often people assume, Okay, the more you know,
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: the better you'd be at this, or like you know,
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: like you said, you've got a PhD, so you'd be
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: right up there. But if anything, I actually find it
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: harder because your mind has been overloaded with information.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: And quite often when we want to have.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Conversations with others about what we're passionate about and what
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: we feel like might really support them is just getting
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: back to basics, and we feel really disconnected from that.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: So you want to stay therapy, you know, I'm into
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: these man's topics, but I'm like, I just want to
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: go back to the basics and talk to people about
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: you know, when I was first finding out about it
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: and all of that kind of stuff.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, for our listeners, no,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I did not intend this at all, but I just remembered.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do an introduction to public speaking sometime.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do workshops sometime in the next month
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: or two. Haven't figured anything out. It's probably going to
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: be it might be two and a half or three hours.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure. But if you're interested in that, go
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: to our Facebook page, the New Project Facebook page, you
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Project podcast Facebook page. I'm going to do that because
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I seem to have at least three conversations a week
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: with people who ask me how do I do what
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: you do? Or a version of that, So that's coming up.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: It won't be free, but it won't be expensive. So
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: you know, support old Harps get in there, you know,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: pay for his mum's hip operation, you know, be a friend.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I was going to say to you, did any imposter syndrome,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: any self doubt, any of that kind of happen?
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, and that's always something in the background I've
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: noticed throughout my whole journey, and I think I feel
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: it more so because I wasn't that student that was
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: getting straight a's and that was the top of the
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: class and that.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Was kind of getting that feedback.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: I was the one that was failing, Like I was
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: the one that didn't know or felt like I didn't
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: know anything, and I was always struggling.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: And so now I have this.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Identity or others obviously perceive of me, which is where
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: you've got a PhD, like you're right up here, and
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: it's like, oh, I don't even.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Really feel like that, but I have to.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I somewhat feel like, yeah, you're on a pedestal, and
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: then you kind of that pressure to live up to
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: that pedestal. And I think I'm always trying to kind
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: of reconnect with I'm not that of what people see
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: of me. This is kind of my journey and really
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: trying to be authentic with that. But yeah, I think
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: that that is always going to be there in some capacity,
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: but I don't let it stop me from taking the
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: actions that I want to take towards where I.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Want to go. So it's so interesting because I think
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: a lot of very smart, talented, highly qualified or not
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: necessarily highly qualified, but just smart people have got a
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: lot to offer and a lot to teach. You know,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: what gets in the way is not their talent or
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: their capacity, but rather what they think of their talent
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: or their capacity. So it's not my ability or potential
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: that gets in the way, it's how I feel about that,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: you know. So it's trying to navigate that. I know
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: a lot, Like there's that duality of I feel inadequate,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: but I know that in this room talking about this topic,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not inadequate, and trying to navigate that.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, isn't that interesting because it comes, I feel like,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: comes down to these cool wombs that a lot of
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: us women or people have around not feeling like they're
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: enough or feeling like they're too much, and they're constantly
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: trying to battle with that, and it comes out ifnecessarily
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: our work.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Are parenting, our relationships.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: So you're right, it's not necessarily fast, but it's a
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: story that we tell ourselves about ourselves.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we always have to be conscious of that.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I know there's no one solution to this. To feel
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: free to jump in because it's pretty relevant to you
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: as well. I know there's no single solution, but is
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: part of it just being able to sit with those
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: feelings of I'm not enough or I'm too much of
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: this or too little of that, or I'm unqualified or
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not smart enough or whatever the self destructive story is.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: But doing it anyway, like being able to what's that
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: old book, feel the fear and do it anyway? I
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: feel like it's that. Yeah.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: See, And I find this really interesting in the therapy
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: world because you know, the traditional kind of like cognitive
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: behavioral therapy often talks about these things of going, you've
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: got this belief, then take it apart, where did this
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: come from? Restructure make it more helpful, and then you've
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: got the newer form of I really love acceptance of
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: commitment therapy, and their philosophy is, Yep, it's there. What
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: if it can just be there and we can still
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: take action towards our values? What if we actually don't
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: need to change that feeling, but still being able to
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: show up in the ways that we want. And I
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: think that that resonates a lot more with me, because
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: we can spend so much of our lives. See, if anything,
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: we can spend a whole life trying to figure out
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: these things before we do the thing. And I feel
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: like act AT talks about you know, what that can
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: be there, and that's always going to be there in
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: some kind of capacity, but let's just go live the
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: life that we're meant to live.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I agree, I feel anyway, look here and
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: do it anyway.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And you're going to do stuff that you'll feel inadequate
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: and you'll feel not good enough, but hey, that's pretty
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: much everyone at some stage of their journey, right, So yeah,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I don't feel good enough, but I'm going to do
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: what I need to. And I think that almost like that,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: you know that I feel anxious, and that's okay because
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: people feel anxious. It's like this doesn't need to hijack
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: my day.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: And I think it's when we fight with it, right,
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: that we then become at war with ourselves and it
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: completely stops us from doing the thing. And I think
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: about I spent most of my PhD doubting myself, Like
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: a majority of the time I was having some kind
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: of breakdown of how I can't do this and it's impossible.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: But after those times, obviously finding a way through in
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: whatever capacity that I did, and then I've gotten through
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: it and I've done it, and it's yeah.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: So it's there. So I think about, yeah, how.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Much we fight with ourselves, and it's almost like a
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: form of self sabotage, really, isn't it.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: It is. And I don't want to be a boring
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: academic or I don't want to step into the bloody
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: PhD club. But just for one moment, I truly did
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: not understand what I was getting into right when I started,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: and I truly didn't understand how fucking hard it was.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I was a little bit like, ah, yeah, yeah, I
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: know it's going to be hard, it's going to be tough,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: but I am hard and I am tough, so it
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: is fine, I'm like, and it just smashed me, smashed
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: me like so much, so much stuff that I didn't know,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: so much language that I didn't understand, so much learning
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: that I did not have under my belt. And also
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: starting you know, in your fifties is not an ideal
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: but it's okay, But it's not an ideal time to start.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Is there every idea or time when you think.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: About it, Yeah, that's true, that's true, and there are
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: so many like, yeah, you might be twenty five and
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: your brain's brilliant, but the situation or the context of
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: your life just doesn't lend itself to go on a
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: UNI and doing a PhD. But you might wake up
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: at forty and go, I'm doing one.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: I always thought I was always, at the beginning of
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: my Jenny a bit envious if the students that could
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: just obviously beat university all day, every day and kind
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: of in it. And I was like, oh, they must
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: have it so much easier. And it was only when
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: I started to progress in a way that they didn't.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: And they were doing time, so they were doing more
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: than double the hours. You know, the whole world was
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: consumed by that.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: And what I.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Noticed is because the whole world was consumed by it,
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: they were going around in circles and there was so
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: like they kind of lost perspective. And because I had
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: limited time, yes, I was getting caught in loops, but
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: I also just didn't have the time to be caught
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: in those loops.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: I came here to do a thing.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I had to spend most of my time doing that
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: thing so I can get back to my kids and
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: to work and to my family. And so that actually
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: helped me. And so even in life, I think we
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: often wait for these perfect conditions, but ultimately it's probably
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: just doing it amongst everything else. And that's what gives
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: us the perspective of life. And it's enriched my PhD
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: so much and my parenting and.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Me as a person being able to do it.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: Amongst everything else, because essentially that's what life is.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: We can't stop everything and then live in a cave
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: right and do the thing and then go out.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: It's almost like, if I give you three hours to
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: do something, you'll take three hours. If I give you
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: one hour to do something, you'll take one hour.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent. That is a thing.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: And I noticed I actually had to get really I
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: had to get really good at that.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: If going, you know what, this is the only time
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I've got, I'm just going to go do it.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: And as you know, with research, it's never ending. You
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: could there's just an unlimited time of research. You could
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: keep going with this. You need a line in the
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: sand there, and I wouldn't have been able to do that.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: I gave myself all the time.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: How much do you think of people not fulfilling their potential.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying everyone needs to be exploring their potential
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: on a daily basis and breaking new ground, but for
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: those people who go I'm kind of a bit dissatisfied,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: or I wish I was more advanced in this area,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: or I'd make more progress, or I'd like to be
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: in a different whatever situation, circumstance, environment, job, whatever it is.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: And they have all the issues that you and I
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: and perhaps Tiff has, How do you do you think
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: that that's mainly that they're being held back by their
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: ability and what is capable or what they're capable of,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: or more just the self limiting talk and the fear
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: and the anxiety.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: I think it's a self limitation because if you think
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: about having a big goal, a lot of the time
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: you're going to hear people say, when this happens, I
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: will do this. When my kids are older, I'll do this,
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: or when I retire, I'm going to do this. So
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: we create this gap and then we feel really dissatisfied
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: that we're living a life opposite to what we wish
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: we would be doing. But I think if we can
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: close that gap and knowing it's not going to look
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: this perfect way, it's going to look like maybe ten
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: minutes if you studying, or ten minutes if you, you know,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: chipping away this goal every day amongst all the other chaos.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: I think that's a way to be able to go authentically.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: Living out what I really wanted to do when I'm
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: challenging myself to work on this in a little way
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: every day. And I think a lot of people can't
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: do that because they want it to either look perfectly
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: or not try it all. So it's like, I'm either
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: going to write this book when I'm in a cave
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: and perfect conditions, or I'm just not going to do
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: it at all, or I'm going to do when everything
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: in my life is sorted and everyone's taking care of
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: and then it's my time versus going Maybe it's about
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: showing up in the chaos and the mess and doing
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: it imperfectly, but knowing that that's actually part of that
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: process and the consistency amongst that will get you there.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: It's almost like you've already arrived to them.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not when the book is finished, but when you're
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: just writing for ten minutes a day, like you've arrived exactly.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: And it's like that that perfect time or that ideal
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: time that we wait for to do that thing or
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: change that thing, or address that thing, or write that book,
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: or lose that weight or build that muscle or whatever
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: it is, we look up in a minute and it's
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: five years down the track and we're still telling ourselves
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: the same thing, or we're still finding the same reason
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: slash excuses. I mean, I think the just accepting that
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: the things I need to do will be inconvenient, the
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: things that I need to do are going to be uncomfortable,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: and you know it won't fit in with this perfect
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: or it won't fit in perfectly. It might be quite
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: lumpy and bumpy and messy, but at the end of
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: you know, like I remember someone saying to me early days,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: they said, when you finish your PhD, you're going to
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: be you know, you're going to be like sixty sixty
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: one or whatever. I went, well, here's the thing I'm
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: going to hopefully I live that long. I did, Well,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: you know I'm going to wake up in five year
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: is I'll be sixty one with a PhD or without
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: a PhD. You know, it's like, well, I'm gonna do
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: stuff for the next five years anyway, And of course
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: the PhD is not all I did for five years,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: well six years now, but yeah, it's that of course,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: of course, of course, because we're all going to talk
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: about stuff, and in a minute, it's going to be
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: two thousand and thirty one, not twenty twenty six. And
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: some people listening right now, if they don't change, will
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: literally be having the same inner dialogue about the thing
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: that they're still not doing. And some of them have
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: been God bless you. By the way. I'm not trying
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: to throw anyone under the bus, but this is just
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: a human experience. They were having conversations they're having now
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: with themselves, they were having five years ago, and they
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: were fantasizing about this ideal time and space and energy
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: that would happen soon. And now we're twenty twenty six
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: and that shit hasn't come, and we're still waiting for this,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: you know, this miracle sign.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: And I think what I was underrated for me is
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: it was even about the PhD. When I look back
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: at the journey, it was who I became during that journey.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: And so I think about, say, having young kids at
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: that stage when I was doing the PhD, I had
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: supervisors and they were holding space for me in ways
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: of encouraging my creativity, challenging my thinking, the critical thinking,
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: teaching me how to be a researcher. Right experimenting with things,
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: following my curiosity, learning more and the skills that I
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: learned while they were holding space to mean, the experience
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: sorry that I had with them, I actually took in
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: my parenting. So even though these academics weren't parents, and
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: they weren't you giving me a parenting class or.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Anything, they were bringing out something in.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Me and developing a skill that then I took and
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I was like, took it back to my kids. Right,
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: So when they were telling me a story, I was
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: looking at Okay, like wow, this is their critical thinking.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: This is I could see deeper than I think what
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: I would have been able to if I hadn't gone
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: through that process.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: And so same with exercise.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: Right, we think of Okay, I want to lose this
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: weight or want to look a certain way. But when
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: you start to show up for yourself every single day
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: doing movement, connecting with your body, noticing things, you change
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: as a person. You're more likely to take your kids
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: to the park and get on the equipment. You're more
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: likely to go for hikes and going let's come along
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: with me. Like you change, your identity changes and you
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: show up differently.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: So it's then not really about the goal it's about,
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: I guess, the.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: Process of showing up for yourself and how that actually
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: impacts how you show up for others.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: What about the reality that a lot of us and
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: let's jump off PhD. It could be any project could
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: be a PhD, but any project that's more relatable to you,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: the listener. Something you want to do, be create change right,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: the fact that my listeners have heard me bang on
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: about this, but I want to hear your take on
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: the value or lack of value perhaps in motivation, in
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: that people get inspired and then they take action or
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: they get motivated, or they get focused, or their emotion
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: state changes. They're up and about and they do it,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: and then that motivational state changes, they lose motivational focus
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: or whatever. How do we stay proactive and productive when
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: we just can't be fucked or that's our feeling, or
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: we are mentally in a place that we don't want
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: to do it today, but the journey kind of requires
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: that we do it, if not every day, nearly every day. Yeah.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: See, a lot of people think you have to be
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: motivated before you go do something, and I mean, like,
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: I'm still not motivated to go to the gym, like
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I love it when I'm there, but like to get
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: going at five in the morning, I just don't want.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: To go, Like, no part of me feels like they
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: want to go.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: But I think it's developing that self discipline where you
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: hold yourself accountable to the things that you know your
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: future self were thank you for, but also to the.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Things that build that self trust.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: It's like, when we do what we say we're going
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: to do, that builds a self trust. So it's almost
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: like not acting from feelings, which is really confusing when
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: you know you're like, we're gonna listen to our and
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, we do his feedback, but we also
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: need to know when we actually.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: Still have to act. It's like it's like for those
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: moms they.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Can feel mum guilt but still do the thing, still
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: go out, yes, you know, with their friends, still show
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: up for a j Like to know that we don't
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: actually have to be led by feelings is also.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: Building that self trust in that discipline with ourselves. I think, Yes, I.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Had this guy once who was very much in this.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: He wanted to change, but he just struggled to and
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: he did actually struggle to find time because he was
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: a CEO, and he was all the things right, busy
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. And I said to him, I
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: want to do one hundred day thing with you that
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: you're not doing with me. You're just going to do
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: it by yourself. But it is the simplest concept of
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: all time. You don't need a gym, you don't need
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: workout gear, you don't you know, whatever it's. And I said,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: you can do it. You don't need to be super
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: conditioned to do it, but you need to buy in
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: my one hundred percent. And he goes, all right, I'm in.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: What is it? And I said, I want you to
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: tomorrow do five bodyweight squats and he's like, all right,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: And I said the next day ten, and then the
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: next day fifteen, the next day, and over one hundred days,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: he built up to five hundred squats, right, And just
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: doing that one thing changed a lot of things. And
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: he didn't need to do them in a row. He
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: could do ten here, ten there, you know. And obviously
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: by the time you get up to five hundred a day,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: there's a bit of time there. But even five hundred
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: a day, if you're doing I don't know, twenty in
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: a minute what's that up to twenty five minutes in
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: a day. But he did that, and you know, I
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: spoke with him along the way. I wasn't coaching him
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: per se, I wasn't training him, but just that one thing,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: it kind of opened this door in his brain where
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: he did something that wasn't necessarily fun, but it was
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: also very simple conceptually. He could do it in his
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: bloody work clothes, he could do it at time, he
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: could do twenty squats in the shower. It didn't matter
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: when he did him or how he did him, as
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: long as our kind of correct form. And it's just that,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: just that thing, And it wasn't really about the squats,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: although he did get some real physical benefit because it's
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: quite aerobic when you're doing enough, But it was about
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: what that did to his thinking.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I think. So that's a perfect example of showing up right.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: And a lot of people struggle with this. It's like
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: they would be like, was a pointed out, that's not
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: what I want to do, like a proper one hour
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: workout or nothing at all, Like I'm not going to
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: waste much doing that. So I think, yeah, people do struggle.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: They're almost like really cognitive or psychologically really inflexible, whether
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: like it's all or nothing.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: And I think what.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: You've just shown with that guy, it's like, let's sit
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: in the grain, let's show up on a plane that
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: feels boring, really tiny steps, doesn't seem like it's doing much,
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: but focus on showing up for yourself every day.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: So and I know you're not the fitness guru, but
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: you are a psych So somebody they I get this
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: a lot. I feel stuck. I feel stuck and I
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: just can't create momentum. It's a strategy for getting unstuck.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: And I know this could apply to a myriad of
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: different challenges or factors, But you know, how do we start?
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: How do we create momentum? How do we keep moving
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: the needle without necessarily having to engage a trainer or
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: a gym, or it could be something else, could be
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: a psychologist or whatever. But how do we at least
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: start those wheels turning.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's almost removing as much barriers as possible.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: And I did this with myself, and I do this
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: with myself. I did that with myself of going I'm
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: actually just going to show up for movements. That's really vague, right,
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: it could be stretching, it could be walking, could be weights.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I'm going to show up for a movement every day
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: for at least ten minutes. And when I did that,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: I could actually be consistent with it, because some days
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: it was like ten minutes of stretching, other days it
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: was an hour of weight. But every day, even on
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: my worst, I found.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Ten minutes somewhere through the day to just show up.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: And I noticed that when I did that, I started
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: to recognize what my internal self talk was saying. So
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: when I remember postpartum, right, I would stand in the mirror,
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh my god, like I'm never going
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: to get back to how I was, and there's so
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: much for me to do. And I noticed this, like
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: dirty mirror. I know anyone who's got kids out there,
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: but my marror is always dirty. And in my mind,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I was like, I need to clean this mirror, Like
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: I can't do it, you know, look at me, Like
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: I was just all this bad self talk, and I thought,
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: I'm attaching my worth with the mirror and the dirt
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: and all these things I have to do. But I'm
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: also realizing I can't show up for myself if I'm
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: putting myself down like this is a problem, and so
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: I use that to feel myself of going, I'm going
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: to keep that mirror, daddy, and I'm going to show
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: up for myself for ten.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Minutes at least.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: And it came like this running thing where I'd keep
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: taking pictures of this dirty mirror, but the fact that
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: I'm going.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: To show up anyway.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: And I think the more that we show up, we
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: notice our self talk and that's the power in it too.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: So I realized it was actually never about the kids,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: all the work, or the the house. It was the
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: story I was attaching to it about my worth or
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: the story I was attaching to myself about why I
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: can't do this thing, or why it's harder for me
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: than others or white people don't get it, or why
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: I'm stuck and it's easier for people.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Yes, so it's a self talk, and we only know
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: that when we shot for ourselves to connect with ourselves.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: So I would say that that changed in so many
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: different ways. My physee changed, but also my mind changed
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: because I actually got to sit with myself and exercise.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: Does that if you were really in tuned with yourself,
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: you're actually sitting with all your limitations, aren't you now?
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: You probably enough.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I have this kind of awareness realization back in the
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: day when you two were just thoughts twinkles in your
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: mum's eyes, and that was why aren't you? Like? My
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: clients would come in, we do the thing. We'd do
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: an assessment, you know, kind of fundamental assessment. We'd have
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: a chat, we'd set goals, we'd start the wheels turning,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: and we'd try and whatever it was them and I
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: two times, three times a week, blah blah blah blah blah,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: and it wasn't until and it was okay, it was okay.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: But then as I was evolving and trying to figure out,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: how do I do better? How do I get people
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: more focused, more committed, getting better results, more accountable, more
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: process driven, more all the things that would help them
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: get where they wanted to go. And I was being
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: selfish too because I also had this other awareness. The
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: better the better results my clients get, the more clients
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I get, because they're my marketing. Because people would walk
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: around in shape and people go, what have you been doing?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: That'd say, A trained with this dude, Like who's the dude?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: Like this is pre marketing, branding, social media. There's none
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: of that, right, So if I knew that if I
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: got someone who was quite out of shape, in shape
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: in a healthy, sustainable way, that I would probably get
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: five clients through that person. Now you extrapolate that over
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: the next five and so on. And so within a
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: very short period of time, I was really busy with
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: really no brand and no but had this little group
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: of fans that were you know, or people that believed
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: in me and what I did anyway, and that the
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: thing that I introduced was twenty eight day testing, and
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: so every twenty eight days every four weeks, my clients
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: would come in and we would do like relevant to
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: them testing. And it might just be something as simple
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: as using skin fold calipers and doing a basic body
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: fat assessment, equation, girth measurements. It could be a running test,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: a simple running test. It could be a step up
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: test on a box. It could be upper body, it
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: could be a prone hold core like I would just
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: choose five or six little tests that for them were
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: meaningful and also aligned with their goals and their commitment
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: and their excitement and their focus went through the roof.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Because like people would come and say to me, it's
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: day twenty two. I'm like, what they like, it's day
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: twenty two. I'm getting tested in six days. So they
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: were so aware of that they were going to be
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: and we're not testing them to make them feel good
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: or bad, but rather to go, well, this is where
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: you were twenty eight days ago, this is where you
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: are now. Well done, that's amazing, or this could be
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: a bit better, but that's great.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: So let's be either way, isn't it.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Well, It's like if I go if somebody took my
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: phone off me and said you can't measure your steps anymore,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I'd be super grumpy because I'm not addicted. But I
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: like the fact that I can. I know, I know
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: I've got to do rock Bottom ten thousand, and you know,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I've had meetings all day and been doing stuff all day,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: and I just looked before and I'm like, oh fuck,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I got seven thousand steps to do today. Yeah, I'm
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: I've got my watch too, and I just I love
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: to gamify it. I feel like it really waits for
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: my brain, like knowing there's that.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Ten k you know number there.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: It helps me kind of track where I'm at, like
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: you said, because I could be on my feet all
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: day around.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: The house and I'm like two thousand steps.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: I could have a couple of walks and you know,
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: ten minute walks, and I'm already at like ten k. Like,
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: it's just crazy, how I don't measure that properly without
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: my watch.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: So I think it is.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I think that's just an individual knowing how they work.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Like if you work with data, if data works for you,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: if feedback works for you, if measuring stuff you know
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: four weeks apart. So it's the same person doing the
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: same test, we're getting different results. People get really inspired
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: by that. Some people do anyway, I'm one of them,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: because when you look at yourself twenty times a day,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: the same person looking in the state, it's very hard
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: to see the change because you see so much of you.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: But when you do a test here and then a
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: test there and there's nothing in between, now you've got
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: two sets of data that become really meaningful. And then
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: your trainer says to you, by the way, you went
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: from twenty kilos to twenty five kilos, that's a twenty
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: five percent improvement in twenty eight days. That it's fucking crazy,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, is it, And they go, yes,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: you're doing twenty twenty five percent of twenty is five
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: and now you've gone up five kilos, So that's literally
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: a twenty five percent improvement, which is a big improvement
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: in a short time. They're pumped, they're excited, and then
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: they train even harder or they work more meticulously or
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: devotedly over than you know. So I think whatever it
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: is that will help us because the whole willpower white
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: knuckling it, toughing it out, you know, discipline, self control.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah maybe, but show me a person who's the only
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: resources they've had for the last fifty years is just
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: like managing their mind. Like sometimes we just need external
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: tools that are going to help us get where we
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: want to go.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Definitely, And it all can be feedback.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, are you in that group? Tip? Do you do
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: you rely on it or do you just value it
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: or neither?
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: I'm better with it. I'm heaps better with it.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: What's the What are your two or three favorite things
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: that you measure that that help you mentally?
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: Oh? I like I've been liking the big like dead
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: lifts and bench press. Since I've been strength training, I've
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: liked moving towards that, but I haven't always been super consistent.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I know, like when I train.
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: With you and we get to do a big lift
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: and we've been doing bench again a lot lately, I
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: get quite a bit excited when it's been it's bench data.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: How good is it? Yeah? Even me, I'm like, I
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: like the fact that I can still do some things
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: that I did when I was forty, and I go, well,
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: twenty two years later, I can do as many chins
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: as I did when I was forty, and that you know,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: nobody else that's meaningless to anyone else, but to me,
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: it's like good because that's that's like for me, that's
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: a big achievement. You know, it's like man, And so
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: I think it's finding out that you know that resource,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: that tool, or that you know that metric that's going
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: to help you move the needle. Yeah. So are you
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: a fan of all of the the bits and pieces
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: that we have now, all the tech that we have
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: sam to help us track and monitor?
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: And I love it?
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: What's your What do you use? What do you use?
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: So I use like for workouts to me, yeah, yeah,
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: to track your stuff? Yeah, So for workouts, I use
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: this Apple ladder so it's got different workouts.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: But what I like about it is it tracks to your.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: One rep maxes, and so when I'm lifting, I can
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: obviously track where I'm going. I can see what I
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: need to do to obviously progress. But even when I
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: take a bit of a regression or I'm stagnant again.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: It's still feedback.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: And it also makes me realize I'm not going completely
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: to the beginning. And I think for some of these exercises,
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: I can literally like heavy, let's just say on hip thrust,
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: but even doing body weight ones just seems like they're so.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: Hard, And so for me going out.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: This can still be hard and I can still lift
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: heavy when I track it. Without tracking, how would you
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: know you're making progress? And how would you know what
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: you are capable of if you're not measuring it. So
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: I absolutely love it, and obviously I've got my watch
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: where I do my ten k steps. But yeah, I'm
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: all for technology in that way to give us data.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: And it also takes some of the emotion out of
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: it as well, in like we can get really stuck
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: in our own heads about like nothing's changing and nothing's
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: working or whatever. But once you've got data, you're like
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: it gives me something to work with. If it's not working,
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: what can I tweak and try again. It's like that
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: researcher and me that I think it's really helpful.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I was going to say exactly what you just said,
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Like I have always been somewhat emotional about my body,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: you know, body morphia, eating, if not eating disorder, very
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: close disordered eating at the very least. And when I
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: track stuff, where you go like you've like, this is
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: this data is not an opinion. This is not a feeling.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: You know, this is not a story. This is literally
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: just evidence. This is just data that oh you were
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: here and now you're there. So even though you think
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: you're shit, you're not shit. You're actually improving. And I
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: think that it's like that more rational voice, whether it's
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: coming from another human or through an app or some
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: kind of tracking whatever tool, that that objective data rather
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: than my subjective story about me, that gives me. That
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: gives me a lot of kind of I guess perspective
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: that I wouldn't have and.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: Do you reckon that's then attributed to the progress.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: That you make right in terms of your fitness.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: Like imagine if you just went with that voice, and
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: you would just stuck with only that inner talk, like
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: you would probably feel like you're going around in circles
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: without having any other data one hundred percent.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: And you think about the fact that you can't be
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: objective about you because you're you, you know, and we
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: tend to not everyone, but we tend to err on
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: the side of negativity. You know, where, yeah we are,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: And you know, then how do you know? Like I've
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: done talks that I thought were not terrible but not good,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: Like I gave myself a six, and people have come
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: up and been like, dude, that's the best thing I've
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: ever seen. And I'm like, I wasn't even having a
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: good day, you know. Or maybe I did have a
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: good day, but I was just feeling shit about myself.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: But it's to have that healthy objectivity or perspective where
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: you're empowering yourself, not disempowering yourself with negative self talk
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: and self sabotage and emotional bullshit. It's way easier said
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: than done, it is, but I.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: Feel like it gives you something to work with.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: See when you have the data, even if something's not working,
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: you're like, Okay, this is what I've been doing and
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: this is what the data shows. What can I tweet
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: to and then try again for the next couple of weeks.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: When you're stuck in your own head with yourself talk,
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: it all just ends up with I'm horrible, it's not working.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: This is just me and there's like nothing to work with.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I like getting other I think inputs.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: In I think one hundred percent. And also there I'm
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: digressing a little bit and I'm talking about training and
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: exercise here everyone. So if that bores you, see tomorrow.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: But like, the thing is that if you look around
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: the gym, you'll see a lot of people in the
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: gym who do what they enjoy rather than what's necessarily effective. Right, So, so, oh,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: I do this because I like this. I don't do
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: that because I hate that. Well, what if that's the thing.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: What if that thing you hate is the thing that's
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: going to move the needle for you. You know, It's like,
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: I guess an obvious one is how many And of
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: course this is not everyone, but there's a huge percentage
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: of well a very reasonable percentage of men that train
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: their upper bodies disproportionately by a mile to their legs.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's half your body, bro, and yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: And it's like, by the way, you know your biceps,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: you train them four times a week, they're fucking four
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: inches long that you know they don't need. And every
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: time you do a back movement or a pulling movement,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: you're training your biceps anyway. And so people tend to
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: be very repetitive and very emotionally driven even with exercise,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: even when they know that the thing that would move
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: the needle or create the most value for them is
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: something else, just because they don't enjoy that.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: That's so interesting.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I actually had this conversation this morning with
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: the exercise video. So I've been training for quite a
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: while weight training, and I've been feeling like I'm just
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: not getting as like I'm getting quite stagnant with my
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: training and things are just feeling tighter. And so I
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: went to her. It was my first session, and I
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: was just asking me what I was doing. And I
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: was obviously talking to her, and she's like, Okay, you
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: seem to know what you're doing, you'd be doing it
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: for a while.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure what I can add to this. What
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: are you hoping to get? And I was like, I
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: want to know where my.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: Gap are in my weak spots, because I'm obviously not
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: seeing like I'm missing something here.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: So she got me to do some.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: Basic exercises that I can actually do weighted quite heavy.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: And when I was doing it and just like, okay,
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: You're arching your back, well, I noticed it was heavier
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: and I'm not obviously doing the exercise properly, and she's like,
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: it's almost like you need to go back to basics.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: And that was really helpful because see, this is what
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: she gave me. She gave me that extent or opinion, right,
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: but also I'm thinking, I'm right up here and I'm
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: trying to push through, but in actual fact, I need
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: to do things I don't enjoy as much, which.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Is doing the body weight exercises.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Even though I can do it weighted heavier, I actually
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: need to go back to basics.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: And focus on that muscle mind connection.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: And that was really useful because it made me realize
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: I'm one of those people that you talk about where
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: I'm in the gym and I'm like slop this out
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: for this, and I'll do this and I'll do that,
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: and I'm not doing things that I need to do
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: that are probably going to actually get my strength up
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: in a round.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you're not. You're common in that sense,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: and so I'm probably to an extent. But you know,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: if we're and I know we've got to wind up, Tiff,
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: don't worry. I'll see you at the gym. Tif's like,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: I got to be at the gym soon. Well, I'm
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: training you, so you don't have to be. That's and
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: I'm still fucking here, so relaxed. All the others can
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: wait either going to say yeah. It's like when we
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: talk about well, I just want to be generally all
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: round more functional, and I want to look good of course.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: But then you go, okay, well, let's break down what
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: fitness is, oh will, fitness is a bunch of shit.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: It's not strength, and it's not cardio, and it's not
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: muscular endurance or aerobic endurance, and it's not flexibility, and
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: it's not power, and it's not speed, and it's not balance,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: and it's not spatial awareness and it's all of it.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: It's all of it. You know. It's like, am I strong?
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Am I flexible? Can I run up a hill? Can
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: I you know, pickture something up off the ground is
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: my lower back? Okay, you know what's my resting heart rate?
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: There are so many things that a lot of people train.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: TIFFs or not in this that's for sure, But a
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: lot of people train very one dimensionally. They do a
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: huge amount of strength training. Now, if you want to
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: be a bodybuilder or a strength athlete, that's not terrible.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: I guess if you want to be an athlete, you
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: need to do more. But if you just want to
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: be somebody who's aging in a healthy way and you're
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: all around level of bodily function, all of it is improving,
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: then you need to stretch, Then you need to do
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: some cardio, Then you need to probably chuck in some
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: strength training. Then you need to do maybe some muscular
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: endurance training. Then you maybe need to do a little
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: of balance, depending on how old you are. I spoke
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: to a lady yesterday who's eighty one, and she asked
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: me for one tip, And I said, do you drive
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: the dishes? She said, yes, like old fashioned no dish dryer.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: I said, so when you drive the dishes, stand on
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: one foot, and when you lose balance then and on
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: the other foot, and so for as long as it
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: takes you to dry the dishes. And she's reasonably functional,
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: so this is not a dangerous thing. But you know,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: and just that little thing where well, what's relevant for
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: an old person? Balance is hugely relevant and having some
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: hip stability and some lower body and upper body strength,
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: you know. So I gave the three or four little
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: things to do, and one of them was just the
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: dish drying thing, and she's like.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: Into each other, right, you want to get you weights,
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: You want her to be stable on her feet. And
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: I think that's where we can look at it in
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: a simplistic way. I want to get stronger, lift more
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: heavier weights. And what I realized this morning, it was like,
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: what about my sleep? What about my nutrition? What about
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: my boonability? It all feeds into it. So in actual fact,
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: to get stronger, you need to do all these other
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: things as well.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's like, what about my upper body? And
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: I said what it was? I don't have shed upper body,
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: but that's what she was talking about. And so I
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: we're in the cafe, so we look like idiots. So
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: I took her to the wall all of the cafe,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: and I put her hands on the wall and I
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: walked her feet back out a little bit. So she
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: was maybe eighteen inches or four hundred and fifty mili
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: away from the wall, and she did push ups against
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: the wall. Now, obviously the percentage of your body weight
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: that you're lifting is low, but if she weighed sixty,
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: she's probably moving ten kilos. And I said, as you
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: get stronger, you know, I just gave her a cup,
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: you know, put your feet away a little bit further,
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: take your hands down a bit lower. And when that's easy,
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: then just instead of doing two seconds per rep, take
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: four seconds slower right down. So there's all of these
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: things that she can do at home without weights, just
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: by using whatever she has at her disposal that can
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: move the needle. But you need to think about what
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: you need, like what your body needs. And then how
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: do we get here from talking about the brain. But anyway, Sam,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: it's always it's too quick today. But anyway, how do
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: people find you and follow.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: You on Instagram at dot Sam Casey or at my
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: website on www dot dotor Samksey dot com.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Thanks for chatting with us, Thank you, Thank you guys.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: In session. I'm a bit jealous. I wish I was there.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: You just need to travel across the nuther Boar and
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: I'll charge you a very reasonable fee and you know,
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: if something opens up, you know you can come in.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: It could be a six month wait. But congratulations on
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: your six out of ten talk. I'm sure it was
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: an eight, but yeah, say goodbye fair But for the minute,
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Thanks Sam, Thanks Tiv, thank you, thank you. That seemed
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: to go very quick. Yeah, so well done you and
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: I'll see in a bit.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: Yep, sounds good. Enjoy your gym session. I am actually jealous.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: Well, when you finally get to Melbourne, I'll train you.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I want to hold you to that one
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: hundred percent.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Everyone else fucking trains with us, don't they tip. It's
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: a cast of thousands, have a rotating We have a
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: rotating crew. They mainly come. They come for Tiff, stay
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: for me, all right, See see at the gym, Tiff.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: See Sam,