Latest / The Checkpoint Podcast: Questions / Episode 35 | Would you want to know the exact date you're going to die?
Transcript
- The DECAF Network: Hey, it's Dex, creator of Reboot Player One and host at the Checkpoint. And it's been a while since I've done a recording. At least for me anyway. It's probably been about a week or so. And a lot has happened. Some things that I would like to talk about today. And all in relation to today's question. And that being Would you want to know the date that you die? Would you want to know the date that you die? Now, this is a question that I have answered before on a podcast that I was that I was running with with a friend of mine. And I'm pretty sure that the answer that I said then is gonna be the same now. But I've had some other things happen since then that I think I would like to throw into the mix to to justify my answer, I guess. I don't think I really need to justify it, but I think I just I've just got a lot to say. You know, it's been like I said, it's been a while and some stuff has happened and I just wanna talk about it. So this could be one of the longer videos that I record. I I've been known to ramble on a lot. And now that I've got some stuff to actually ramble about, this could I don't know, this could take a while, so Here we go. Now, firstly, the reason why I haven't recorded for a while is is a number of things actually. Now, for those of you don't know that don't know, I I run a lot. I'd probably say that in a week I might run anywhere from three to five times. In terms of kilometers, I I have a goal of doing thirty a week. And I've been pretty pretty good with that. some some weeks it might be twenty, some twenty five and The others are are around thirty. I do it in the morning. It's it's kinda like my thing. I I strangely enjoy it. I do it in pitch black. I usually do it listening to nothing. but if it's something, it could be a podcast or an audiobook. And I find that I kind of meditate during that space and if I'm listening to something that I really like, then I I could be running for I could be running for kilometers and kilometers and kilometers. So it it's kinda like my thing. It I I feel it keeps me healthy. I enjoy it and I think as of late I've been looking at just ways to to keep myself healthy. And I remember listening to a a podcast about people growing old and one of the best reasons to to keep doing weight training is to protect yourself from a fall. as you start to get to fifties and sixties and seventies and and beyond, you're you're not doing weight training to build muscle. You're you're basically weight training to sustain the strength in your muscles so that in the event of a fall, the chance of you potentially breaking a bone or something else probably isn't too bad. That's what I heard anyway. So I tend to believe it. And so I thought to myself, I I run pretty much every other day. Maybe I start to switch it up and and introduce weight training back into it. Which which kind of excited me really. I it was one of those things where I used to do more weight training than cardio. I was one of those people that hated running and all I wanted to do was weights. And at some point I just flipped and I f I found running really therapeutic for me. I enjoyed it, I loved it, and the the whole weight training side of things just totally stopped. I've tried to get back into it and those efforts were kind of half arced. I would pick up the same sort of weights that I stopped doing and like I found them super, super heavy. So obviously from the time that I stopped weight training to now, I've I've lost a lot of strength. which sucks. So anyway, I kind of made the decision to incorporate weight training back into my routine. Probably Two or three weeks ago. And I started on a Monday. I was following a YouTube training course, which I've done before. It it's nothing new to me. And I was actually picking sensible weights. Like I wasn't going super heavy. I I went lighter than usual. And I was focusing more on technique. And I think I I felt okay after it. I didn't feel as much of a burn as what I normally would just because, the the weights were quite light. But the following day, my left arm decided it didn't want to play nicely anymore. I don't think it's a tear. It it's just a bit of a strain. If you've played baseball or cricket or or a sport that involves a lot of throwing, it it's that same feeling when you throw too much and you know, we used to call it throwing your arm out. It's a dullache. And I've had that now since then. So it's, almost two weeks. The pain is kinda i it's going away. It was pretty intense for a while and it caused me to not sleep too well. Like I would my arm would be in a weird position and it would actually wake me up. So it got really sore and I haven't kind of touched weight since and sleep was like I said, sleep was was disturbed during that time. So that wasn't fun. on top of that, I had a car accident and it it it wasn't my fault. It it's actually a a really strange set of circumstances. I was actually in the car when it happened and I was actually parked and I was actually parked at a shopping centre car park. And I was doing work in the car because that's what I've done and I always I I always seem to do it. It's nothing new for me to to park somewhere and just bring the laptop out and start doing work. And strangely, in this instance, I was working and a car like drove into the shopping center car park, getting chased by police and happened to hit the car next to me and then my car as well. Most likely riding off the car. I got a bit of a knock from that. So that gave me a bit of a wake-up call. and that was about two weeks ago as well. So kind of all around the same time I was starting to in a due weights. and around that time I started to get a cold of some sort. So all of this stuff happened literally days apart. So my arm was twigged, I was in a car accident, and I started to get a cold or the flu or something along those lines. You know, it was it was one of those things where I wasn't a hundred percent body wise My nose wouldn't stop running during the day. And then when I would go to sleep, it would just totally block up. So that plus my arm, it just plus everything else. I a after the car accident, which jolted me around a bit. Th there were just so many thoughts in my head. Pardon me. So I've really had an interesting two to three weeks. And and during that time, you know, not just being a hundred percent, I couldn't perform to the best of my abilities, so to speak. I I just felt that I took a step back and just did what was needed. I kind of lost motivation and things. I just needed to I like I did just the bare minimum. I wasn't feeling f sorry for myself. It was just like I I just felt annoyed. Annoyed with my arm annoyed that I'm not feeling the best and Just overall not having a really good run, and in hindsight it should be something that I should be used to, you know. it's not like I don't ever get sick. and in most cases I'm able to to kind of power through those sorts of things. But I it it had been such a long time since I've had like a lot of things stack up that the the whole sum of those bad things just really really took me for a ride physically. And what it it it made me realize is that for me, now this is it this is entirely for me. My my physical self greatly affects my mental self. And then once it affects my mental self, then kind of everything else around me gets affected as well. I used to think that for me it was mental over physical. And I now that I have just experience this stuff. I think that physical for me is slightly a bit ahead in terms of mental. So I I'd like to think I've got a pretty good mental game, but for it to overcome the physical discomfort but I I found it extremely difficult. So for me, if I am physically good, then my mental state is is improved and then the rest of like my life is okay after that. So I I found that out about myself. I've I've kind of been on the fence in terms of mental and physical, but for me being in physically good shape is something that is important. Now that's that's not just the exercise, it's actually diet as well. In fact, for me it was possibly more diet related. So with all the running I do I I kinda use that as an excuse to just eat eat food. Not bad food, but you know, I I would give myself permission to eat stuff because I was gonna burn it off the next morning. And more often than not I would. You know, I'd go for a long run. And sometimes knowing that I had eaten pretty poorly the day before, you know, coupled with something that I'm really wanting to listen to during that run. And I could run for like an hour easily during the morning. And enjoy it too. So what would happen or what did happen is I I couldn't run because my arm was a bit sore. my my nose was blocked. I was feeling congested. And so I was I I didn't run for a couple of weeks. I didn't do any exercise. but I was still eating like I was running, which meant that I would carb crash, I would feel bad about myself and I'm scared to hop on the scales because I I don't know, I've just been eating the same for two to three weeks and knowing that, you know, there's a chance I'll probably put on weight. And that affected me mentally. So just all of this sort of stuff affected me. And then at the same time it affected my work and I just had a really bad trot, you know. And here I am sounding like it's like the worst thing, but for most people they're just like, You're stupid. Like there are bigger problems in the world. And look, I agree. This is just me venting and ranting. So how does this all relate to the question of let's bring it back again. Of would you want to know the date that you die? Now my answer to this is it was initially no. This was years ago, months ago. But I've I've actually turned it around and And I'm wanting to say yes. there's there's things to do that that I've just recently gone through, like I said, with the diet and the exercise and and just knowing that I I should eat properly because of you know, when I get older, I want my muscles to be around, I want there to be protection. If if I'd known or if I knew that let's just say, touch wood that this doesn't happen, but let's just say that I knew my time was was coming up. Would I then go through and still look after myself in that way? Would I eat healthier? Would I still exercise, knowing that, you know, I might not have that long to live? I don't know. And and to be perfectly honest with you, I I don't think I would. Depending on how long I've got left. I I just might want to have fun. I might just wanna just eat what I wanna eat and do what I wanna do. I I I don't know. That that but I think that's probably what what I would do. Which then leads me on to the news that I received this morning. Now, I had a message from a friend last night and I didn't read it. It was about it was close to my bedtime. Yeah, you know, I've just been saying that I've haven't been feeling the best and I I'm still not a hundred percent. I'd probably say that I'm maybe seventy five, eighty percent. So I've been going to bed earlier, which is strange. Seeing as I go to bed at 9 30 most nights, I think I went to bed at about nine, maybe a bit earlier. And there were some messages on the phone, but I I just didn't read them. I didn't want to sort of open them up and engage in a conversation and then find that, you know, I was going to be a bit later. So I ignored them and I just read them this morning. And and one of the messages I received was a friend of mine saying that a mutual friend of ours had passed away. And that was quite sad. it was a person that I'd worked with before. When we we worked in the same company decades ago and I went out out on my own, started my own business and and he did as well. like a a lot later than than when I did. And I kicked him I kicked some work over to him and he kicked some work over to me and it was kinda cool. You know, it it's not like I would see him every day. I'd probably chat to him once a month or so. I considered him a friend. He was cool. And I knew he had some health issues before COVID. He had cancer. And he had battled and won. And he was never really the same after that. Personality wise, yeah, sure. But I could tell that it had taken a lot out of him. He was still a happy guy. And but inside I he knew and he had told me that. the fight wasn't over. Th the cancer, from what I understood, was was dormant. but during the course of of the healing, there were like all of these other things popped up as well. So if he wasn't if he wasn't trying to fight cancer, he was fighting something else as a result of you know the stuff that went on. And so I we we we sort of spoke to each other less and less. He he was going through a lot of sickness and which caused his work to drop and you know, life for me kept on going on. And yeah, so it's not like we we never lost touch. I still messaged him from time to time. And it was always one of those, Hey, look like we gotta catch up real soon and you gotta tell me a story. Cause I knew that he had he had won the the fight against cancer. but this other fight that he had with his other illness he w he was still on the fence about and unfortunately, you know, we won't be able to have that that that coffee. The last time I spoke to him I think would have been maybe a couple of months ago. And and even then that was just through text. So I knew he was hurting though. And I was hoping that you know, we could have caught up and and had a chat. Now this person was was younger than me, you know. and that that was a a wake up call for me. He was he had a partner. I don't think he had any kids. but that's one of those things where I I sat down and like, wow, okay, he's he's young. I thought he was I wouldn't say I thought he was healthy, but after the the fight with cancer, I thought he was getting there. And then, you know, that other sort of sickness and stuff kicked in and I I I was thinking, he's still youngish, hopefully he can fight through that. So that was a bit of a wake up call and and on top of that, I started reading this book or listening to this book, which I think is actually really cool. Let me just make sure I've got the right title because I I think I've been recommending it to people and stuffing it up. Okay. It's called Four Thousand Weeks. Some of you may have heard it. Basically the premise of the book is if you if you live to the average age, assuming you're, I don't know, Western American, Australian, something along those lines, that you get to live a average of four thousand weeks, which if you were to multiply it by years, ends up being about seventy-six years, seventy-six years. So it's not so bad. Now for some four thousand weeks can sound like a lot, depending on which side of the fence that you're on. It might not it it might sound hardly anything. And and now that I'm closing into my fifties, you know, I have less than two thousand weeks, I'm guessing. or maybe two thousand weeks, which, you know, that number isn't much at all. Especially now considering how fast that I feel the weeks are going by. What kind of makes it worse is I'm a I'm a I'm a doer. But I'm a doer starting on a Monday. So if I want to start a new diet, if I want to do a new exercise routine, if I want to just introduce something to my life, I tend to start things on a Monday. Even if the decision to do it was on a Tuesday or a Wednesday, I'll be like, you know what, I'll just run through the rest of this week and we'll start it on Monday. And so I've had a c I've had a couple of false starts of things and you know, those are two weeks that have gone by. So the thought of having 2,000 weeks is But no it's I wouldn't say it's concerning. I c I don't want to give it too much thought because sometimes I think two thousand weeks that's a long time. But within the next hour, I think, my god, I've only got two thousand weeks less. That's not much at all. So all of this, you know, the sickness, the the car accident, my arm sort of bugging out, my friend passing away, reading this book and And and just thinking about this question of would you want to know the date that you die? I'd probably say yeah. And I reckon if i if my friend had known the date that he would die I would imagine knowing him, he would have probably squeezed in more than what he wanted to do. And I and I think that's that's pretty much the default answer for most people that get asked that question. They say, Well, what what would you do? If you knew the exact date that you would die, what would you do? And at times I I would think about this and go, Well, I would do this and I would do that, and I would visit this and I might try and do that. Yet at the same time in the back of your head, you have the knowing that each day that you wake up is a day closer to to the you know, to your time on this earth finishing, which is like I I don't know if I could actually enjoy myself knowing that. I don't know. But at the same time, not knowing well well, not knowing is life, right? That's what we're going through now. We there's no guarantee that you'll wake up when you go to bed at night. But more often than not we do. And you know, we just kind of live life We basically live life for that day. And planning that the day after that we have to do this, we have to pick that up, we have to plan for this. But that's not guaranteed. But if you knew the day that you did die There's a lot more you can do. There are a lot more things that you would try. Yet at the same time, depending on how much time was left, you might not do any of that. You might just go, Well, you know what, I only have X amount of days, weeks, months, years left. I'm just going to enjoy them. And for some people, enjoyment is experience. And for other people, enjoyment is just staying in front of the T V and watching Netflix, playing video games. I'm not judging. Because I like both. including ex in in new experiences. But I think I would still want to know. Because then I'm able to do things for my kids, you know, to to leave to to leave the kind of legacy I want for them. You know, a lot of the times you at least from what I'm feeling, the advice that I like to give has to be part of a particular occasion, an event, something happening. I c I just can't go to my son and and and just give him random advice. You know, he'll probably forget it. I know that the advice that I've given him in the past is always in relation to him doing something or him wanting and asking me, and then me being able to provide my advice and opinions on things that, you know, may or may not suit him. But I can just say, Well, I I did that, I tried that, and this is what I thought. But if I knew of a particular date that I would need to get that all out by, I would present it in a way that, I would probably do this. I would probably record videos for each of my kids and my wife and you know and tell them everything that they need to know. tie up loose ends. I would probably spend a lot less time trying to please people. I would I would make I would make better decisions knowing that my time is limited, like all of our time is limited. But if I had a specific number in terms of days or like I said, days, months or years, then I know that I wouldn't spend time on things that would stress me. You know. I I would just go, well I've only got this much time left. I I I don't need to deal with this. I don't need to I don't need for this situation to occupy any more of my mental capacity than what it has. So say if you I'll just do me. So would I want to know the date that I die? Yeah. I think that I would. Hmm. Like I said, it's, you know, my my friend passing away reading this book and just thinking about how my life up until this point has has turned out, which for me has been has been awesome. Like I I'm I'm s I'm certain I've said this before in other videos, but like I love my life as I'm hoping most people that are watching this can love theirs. You know, there is that saying That I that I love. It's not really a saying, but it's a it's a theory. In that if you had the ability to put all of your problems in a hat along with everybody else's problems in that same hat, and you were able to reach in there and pick out a different problem, would you do that? Or would you be happy in just dealing with your own problems? And pretty much everyone I've asked this to, they just say, you know what? I I'm I think I'm happy dealing with my own problems. 'Cause you just don't know what other people's problems are. They could be much worse than yours. But I think everybody that I've asked, they're like, you know what? my problems are bad, but I'm dealing with them. I kind of know what to do and I'm happy with that. Yeah, I could pull a problem out of the hat that is just insurmountable based off not knowing what the situation is. So as much as we think that our problems are the worst thing ever, they're not insurmountable. There are ways ways at which that we can solve them and learn from them and all that sort of stuff. So me saying that I kinda love my life at the moment, it's it's definitely definitely not a lie. And and so I kind of want to make the most out of it. You know, I have let little things affect me a lot more in the past. And now I I just tend to to just let them go. I I have this theory, which some of my friends will know me for. It's basically all life is yin-yang. And for me, that represents looking at something from the other side. Something bad happens to me if a if something that I've started isn't going as well as what I had hoped for. Initially, I'm like, you know, this sucks. I've I've put in all this work and And this thing isn't working, people are stupid. I I I I can't I can't deal with this right now. that's the yin. Now, when I say yin yang, I'm not saying that one's good or one's bad. I'm literally just saying like it's the opposite. Yin is one thing, yang is just the opposite of that thing. Neither is good, neither is bad, it's just the opposite. So if I'm thinking that what I've have what I've built has been a waste of time and that people don't understand how good this is, that could be my initial thought. That's the yin. The yang to that is, well, what has this taught me? What what can I what can I sit back and think about and and find and find the nuggets in that? As sucky as it could be. There's always a time, at least for me anyway, where I can look back at some of the negatives that have happened in my life and go, well, you know, it sucked at the time, but as a result of that thing happening, this other thing happened. Or I ended up meeting that person, or I got the opportunity to do this. Or I figured out that in not in in doing that, I definitely don't want to do that anymore and I want to go down this path instead. someone mentioned to me that I'm the eternal optimist. And I think that describes me do a T. it's I I I know of people that are the opposite, where they think that everything happens to them is is bad and it's like the world is out to get them. And you know, I could think like that as well. And I think at one point I did. You know, there there were certain decisions that it took a while for me to sort of revisit and go, okay, so That thing happening to me, what did I learn? What did it tell me about myself, about the world, about the universe, about how I treat others, about how others treat me, about how I make decisions, about my life, my family, about everything. there's I I can look at, all of these failures through different lenses and I can find certain nuggets in in those things that have gone wrong, or at least I thought they were they had gone wrong. But I can always see a positive as a result. And that for me, that means that I didn't have to, I didn't have to hold onto those bad feelings. especially as time goes on. And I've gone through a whole bunch of my failures and looked back on them. And I would almost say 100% of those failures, something positive has come out. And So what that allows me to do is accept the failures that I have been going through now. And there are things that I would consider not so much to be a failure, but they're setbacks. I can I can approach those setbacks and instead of immediately defaulting to the, my God, this sucks. Everything is isn't isn't working, waste of time. I can get to that place of, all right, so if that didn't work, what's another way I can I can do this, you know? What has this taught me? How can I change? How can I try something different? I'm kind of more in that mindset now, rather than being so stuck on one particular path of success that if that path doesn't come up, I I don't just fall apart. I just look for all right, so how can I pivot? How can I change? How can I do something different to to see where I could improve from the first time? So that's a really long way to answer that initial question. And I still think I would wanna know. Because I I I kind of wanna give my all to to my kids, to my family and to my friends and I don't think it's even about legacy in a way. It it's just I'd like to know that if there's a sp is a particular amount of time that I'm allocated that I get the most out of that. Now, whether that means spending more time with family, spending more time with friends, spending more time doing the things that I enjoy, or just trying a whole bunch of different things. Yeah. I think that's how we'd answer that. Because we don't have, we don't have guaranteed days. And we always say, one day, one day, one day, maybe next week, when I have enough money, when I have enough this, when I have enough that, when I have enough time. And a lot of the times, it it doesn't happen. But at the same time, because life is like screwy like that, you you can't live your life that way. Unless you're a billionaire, then you can, maybe. but there are just so many things that that hold us back from truly living that kind of lifestyle where you just go, you know what? Effort. I'm just gonna do this because who knows, I might not wake up tomorrow or next week. But what if you do? What if you live another twenty, thirty years and then you've blown all your money and you've burnt all your relationships? So, you Maybe that maybe that Jude will happen. Alright. I think that's it. I think that's all I needed to get out. It's been a hell of a couple of weeks. It's been a hell of a yeah, two, three weeks. You know. It it really It it really cemented to me that I'd really need to get my health in order. Not saying I'm in bad health at all, but I'm saying that I need to eat properly. I need to exercise intelligently. I need to I need to keep running. I need to just make sure that my body is healthy. Because for me, a healthy body represents a healthy mind. And when I have a healthy mind, then I can do all of the stuff that I need to. Work staff, coaching staff, family staff, and and just be a better person overall. And I I I think I'm still I'm I think I'm still thinking about that that term health span that I I recorded a video about a while back. And that's how your health your health span is usually anywhere from ten to fifteen years less than what your lifespan is. So let's just say if we're talking around numbers that your lifespan is on average eighty-five years. And your health span is let's just say 70, 75 years. do you want to live the last 10 years of your life in bad health, in pain and in anguish, and just like suffering? Like that just sounds like the worst. And so I'd love to really close that gap between health span and lifespan. And for me, it it's going to represent having a a healthy body. I know there are some some twinkles here and there, but I I know if I'm sensible and I strengthen those, that'd be good. I need to really, really nail my diet and and just start eating better. And yeah, once I do that, mental health is all good. And the rest of life is good. So yeah. enough of me rambling. if you enjoyed this and you think someone needs to hear it, please share it. Like it. I I don't know what people say. I think I've got a script somewhere on what to say at the end of these things, but I keep forgetting it. This was just more of a me to this was just more of a a video for me to just rant on about what's been happening the past couple of weeks. And I don't know, maybe share some of it. And yeah, I think that's it for me. Dex Reboot Player One, the checkpoint. I will see you on the next video. Thanks.