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Transcript

4: Lindsey's Ministry · The Infertile Diaries

0:00
SPEAKER_00: For many couples, infertility isn't just emotionally overwhelming.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: It's also financially devastating.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: Recent research estimates that couples undergo an average of 2.7 IVF cycles and spend over$61,000 out of pocket, and that's just to have one baby.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: And if you're pursuing adoption, that number may just be the beginning.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: In today's episode, Lindsay shares exactly how much she spent to bring home her two boys, and the total will definitely astound you.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: Out of gratitude for the family she was able to build, Lindsay founded Everyone Deserves a Family.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: A nonprofit that helps ease the financial burden of adoption and fertility treatments through grants for hopeful parents.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: If the cost of growing your family feels impossible, you don't want to miss this conversation.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: Lindsay explains how you can apply for a grant and offers practical hope for couples navigating one of the hardest parts of their infertility journey.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: We discussed all this and more.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Infertile Diaries.
1:09
SPEAKER_02: This isn't just a podcast.
1:12
SPEAKER_02: This is your place.
1:14
SPEAKER_02: And these are your stories.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: A place of heartbreak to hope.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: This is the Infertile Diaries Podcast.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: Woo! We're back.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: We made it! It's been a day.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: It has been a day.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: But we're here.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Kids are out for summer.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: We knew it would be like trying to flip everything together to get here, but here we are.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: We did it.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so last episode, last couple episodes, we talked about our stories.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: So just kind of like your journey and my journey.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: And obviously, I know it's kind of like in our promo header, but we together experienced probably over eight years in infertility, me four years, you four years.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And then because of that, we both have resulting ministries over 15 years, which is wild, which is wild.
2:25
SPEAKER_02: And again, we didn't even know how long did we kind of exist in the same place before we put it together.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean it was, I mean, since the boys went to kindergarten, so the last year and almost two years really before we put out put it together, we're in the same space.
2:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: And so that it's it's powerful when you come together, right?
2:48
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
2:49
SPEAKER_02: Because it was such a journey, and now using your heartbreak to help others is so amazing that both of us together when we're working kind of in two different angles has been really cool.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is really cool.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so obviously when we talked about your story, you didn't have insurance, your family was very expensive.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, you adopted your first son after multiple failed transfers.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: Right.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: And then you moved on to a surrogate, and I'm like, you know, shortening your story tremendously.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: But tell me what was like the hardest part of your journey, or what was it that prompted you to want to help others?
3:38
SPEAKER_02: So I think I'll break that down into two questions.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: I'll answer that in two questions.
3:43
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of a big question.
3:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: Uh, but I think the initial, the initial time again, you know, we like Whitney said, we struggled with a lot of the IVF um failed attempts, seven IUIs, four chemical pregnancies, we were we were heartbroken.
4:04
SPEAKER_02: Then we thought IVF was really it.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: Um and at that point, you know, between the testing and everything, you're you know, above$30,000 out of pocket because again, we none of the easily insurance didn't cover any of that for us.
4:19
SPEAKER_02: So um when we when we switched into adopting uh and we signed up the for the adoption agency, they were like, okay, well, we need a$15,000, which I didn't mention this in the story because it's right just adds to it, but a$15,000 marketing fee to get started, roughly.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: So it was like I I think it was eleven, it was eleven thousand and change for the marketing fee, plus they had like the home study involved.
4:50
SPEAKER_02: So the initial fee to start out with an adoption agency before anything was just shy of$15,000.
4:57
SPEAKER_02: And that was a hard one to swallow.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: That's now half the cost of IBF, right?
5:01
SPEAKER_02: Right.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: What I'm in for, and here we're pivoting.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: And it didn't really hit me yet.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: Again, I think I was just so emotionally like drained and desperate.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: And I'll get to the why, like what was going on in my life at that point, because that's a whole story.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: But when I got the call for Gavin after we went live on the birth parents website, and in the two-week wait, which we thought we had two years, and we were hit up for$50,000 to come be able to go to the hospital to get our son.
5:36
SPEAKER_02: Um, that was the first initial thought, and it it was probably the drive on up to Georgia to get Gavin was I am so lucky.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: We're so fortunate we had this.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Now, you know, whether or not my husband like had to move things around or whatever and didn't tell me, but like it was we were we made it work, and that was my first initial thought.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: Like, man, I'm so lucky.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: How many people get this call and have to say I'm sorry?
6:04
SPEAKER_02: Right.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, could you imagine?
6:06
SPEAKER_00: That's like we have a baby, but like I don't have the cash.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
6:11
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: And that's when I was like, oh my gosh, like, and even now, like, what happens if I didn't have it?
6:18
SPEAKER_02: What happens if I said I'm sorry?
6:20
SPEAKER_02: I can't.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't have the money to wire by four o'clock, five o'clock, whatever the deadline is to go up to get it.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: Like, they gave us an hour.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: An hour?
6:30
SPEAKER_02: An hour to decide on a Friday at 4 p.m.
6:32
SPEAKER_02: Well, they gave us one hour to decide.
6:34
SPEAKER_02: So that means we, if we had to talk to see if we had the money, if we had to talk to say like this adoption opportunity was right for us, because you also get to accept it.
6:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, but of course we're like, oh no, we don't need time.
6:48
SPEAKER_02: Like, yes, we're taking it like right away.
6:50
SPEAKER_02: We did didn't matter.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: But that was my initial thought in starting, um, everyone deserves a family.
6:56
SPEAKER_02: Then um, and I'll break down, I'll break down that cost for you even more later.
7:03
SPEAKER_02: I can break down all the costs.
7:04
SPEAKER_02: But then when we went into surrogacy, so now we had spent over 30,000 roughly in reproductive cost.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: This was before you adopted.
7:18
SPEAKER_02: This was before I adopted.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: Right.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: Then Gavin's adoption totally cost about sixty thousand dollars, probably just over between attorney fees, marketing fees, like home studies.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: Um I Gavin's adoption situation, just Gavin, was like$40,000 just for the birth mom for Gavin.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: Then there's attorney fees, there's all kinds of fees, agency fees on top of it.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: So that was roughly$60,000.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: So we're just shy of a hundred thousand.
7:49
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then the surrogacy was close to like I want to say$75,000 when everything um her cost and then and um the agency's cost.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: It just adds up attorney fees there.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: You have psych psych evaluations and a lot of for you or for the surrogate?
8:08
SPEAKER_02: For both.
8:09
SPEAKER_02: You have to do one-on-one, and then you have to do like a group when you get matched with a surrogate.
8:15
SPEAKER_02: So it's all these little fees out of pocket, out of pocket, yep, that are adding that add up and add up and add up.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: So at the end of the day, my our family literally cost us just shy of$200,000 out of pocket.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: And that's not even including travel fees, right?
8:36
SPEAKER_02: And um going up to see her with every appointment and spending the night in St.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: Augustine when we had to.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: And so when I was at lunch with my surrogate, and I'm watching her have this baby for me.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, we would do lunch, she's such a sweet person, like we connected really well.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: And I just said, Man, you know, this is crazy to me.
8:59
SPEAKER_02: I have two women that have like helped me be a mom, you know, like that's really hard.
9:05
SPEAKER_02: Like, that's to accept, you mean hard to accept?
9:09
SPEAKER_02: It's hard to accept.
9:10
SPEAKER_02: I absolutely you have these two women that are sacrificing for you to be able to be a mom.
9:17
SPEAKER_02: Like, and here I am, just oh, let's have lunch.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: You know, it just never felt right.
9:22
SPEAKER_02: So we're sitting and I said, I want to do something, like I have to give this back in some way.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: And um I said, I want to start.
9:29
SPEAKER_02: That's when I knew I want to start a nonprofit eventually to help people be able to afford it.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: But you know, that's so far out of my realm right now.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: So that was in probably 2020, and she was Ray was the one that said, you have to trek out um the race car driver's wife.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: What's his Oh yeah, Samantha Bush.
9:50
SPEAKER_02: Yes, Sam Bush.
9:51
SPEAKER_02: Sam Bush, who unfortunately her husband just passed the day I had to.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: I know we were talking about it, and you were telling me, Oh, there's this amazing, incredible advocate for infertility.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, I was like, Linz, I think her husband just died.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, no, I was like, no, not her.
10:07
SPEAKER_02: And you're like, no, he did.
10:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, which was so terrible.
10:10
SPEAKER_02: Sepsis, right?
10:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, from pneumonia.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Wild.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: So terrible.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: Terrible.
10:15
SPEAKER_02: And she's done so much for IVF.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: So, anyways, I terrible story.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: God bless her, God bless her.
10:22
SPEAKER_02: I hope, just like she's helped so many people.
10:24
SPEAKER_02: I hope that it comes back around with her.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: But um, I studied her website and I when the time was right, so it was probably two.
10:34
SPEAKER_02: I go through these big transitions in my life.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: Like when I know another child.
10:39
SPEAKER_02: This was when um Beckham was getting out of the house and going into preschool for the first time.
10:46
SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, ooh, I have a few hours on my hand.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: Like I, for the first time, I have like, I think six hours.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: He went to two, I love it.
10:54
SPEAKER_02: Two days.
10:55
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, this is the year.
10:57
SPEAKER_02: This is the year I'm starting, the nonprofit.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: And I just did it.
11:02
SPEAKER_02: I literally was like, you know what?
11:04
SPEAKER_02: No excuses.
11:05
SPEAKER_02: I gave myself like four months that that year.
11:08
SPEAKER_02: It was 2023.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: I gave myself the first few months.
11:11
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, by April, you need to have it established.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: So in April, I signed signed up with a nonprofit attorney who does specifically just startup, nonprofit startups.
11:24
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I have no idea what I'm doing.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: This is like an industry, I have no idea what it's about.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm just hiring them.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: So I hired them, got Everyone Deserves a Family Established, and that was May 31st, 2023.
11:40
SPEAKER_02: We were official in the books.
11:42
SPEAKER_02: That's incredible.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Can I say that I love telling your story for shock value?
11:48
SPEAKER_00: Because I always like tell people I have this Fred Lindsay.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: I love it for the shock value when I say like the adoption part in particular, because it's like, okay, so she paid$15,000 for, I thought it was legal fees, but you're saying it was marketing fees, like up front.
12:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, marketing, marketing and homesteading.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
12:08
SPEAKER_00: And then two weeks later, I'm like, she gets a call at 4 p.m.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: on a Friday night, and they're like, hi, we have a baby for you.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: It's almost like they're holding it ransom, right?
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: And they're like, you just have to wire us$50,000.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: And the response is always the same.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: Everyone's like, oh, it was a scam, right?
12:28
SPEAKER_02: Like that's how, I'm sorry, that is I don't no one's ever said it to my face.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
12:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting there like, oh wow.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying it's not you.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: The system, the system seems so broken.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Like you're like, you're gonna withhold a child that's available after you've paid$15,000 that you're gonna pay an additional$50.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, you have an hour to gather that much cash?
12:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, who has that much cash on hand that you don't have to like move things around?
12:58
SPEAKER_00: So, like, let's say you didn't you weren't able to come up with the cash that Friday, but you said yes, we want him, would they have given you an extension?
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Like, how does that work?
13:09
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't believe so.
13:11
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know because I didn't ask for an extension to know, but it was pretty much like you have to have we it you're told up front, you have to have your ducks in a row to be able to if it if an adoption um situation comes up, adoption opportunity, you need to have everything ready to to be able to accept it.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: And so, like I said, she gave me an hour.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: She was like, I can give you an hour to talk about it.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: Um, but ultimately, if we didn't have that, I mean we had a FedEx.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: We went right to Matt's office.
13:42
SPEAKER_02: We went right to Matt's office.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: We had a FedEx, it was a whole bunch of paperwork we had to sign.
13:47
SPEAKER_02: I I don't remember if we had to get it notarized or not.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: I think we had to just sign it and then we paid the attorney and we had to see the attorney like the next day after we had gotten Gavin, or maybe that Monday, because it was a Friday.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: Um and we did all of that, but no.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: And you know, let me just preface this by saying I chose to go through an adoption agency that was um a little more well like well known.
14:18
SPEAKER_02: It was called American Adoptions, they were amazing.
14:21
SPEAKER_02: They do um international and they do domestic adoptions, but you can like choose to adopt a newborn, where a lot of the other agencies that are less money, and there are several out there that are less money, ranging from like 26, probably now it's gone up 26 to 40,000-ish, would be on the low side, would be on the lower side.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I'm sure that's increased since eight years ago when we did uh when we did our adoption, but this one was was more, which they told us up front, but we were guaranteed a newborn, like they could wait for a newborn and and not being able to have um my own child like through just naturally, I just didn't want to miss one second.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: Like I wanted that newborn opportunity.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: So if you had decided to go international, would that have been like a like a longer process, shorter process, more expensive, less expensive?
15:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, how does that compare to a US adoption?
15:25
SPEAKER_02: I can't answer that.
15:27
SPEAKER_02: I would imagine it's longer and more expensive, but we just never did look into that.
15:32
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: So I would maybe some future guests that are coming on can answer that for us.
15:38
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so you hire a lawyer, you get the nonprofit rolling.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: So, like, what did your first year look like uh with the ministry?
15:50
SPEAKER_00: How much money did you raise?
15:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, how many girls did you help the first year?
15:55
SPEAKER_00: And I know you've been going now for about five.
15:58
SPEAKER_02: This is our fourth year.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
16:03
SPEAKER_02: Yes, this is our fourth year.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: So May 30th, May 31st, 2023, we were established.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: So that gave us one grant season.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: So our grant season is from um September 1st.
16:18
SPEAKER_02: So raising money or giving money?
16:21
SPEAKER_02: We open our grant application.
16:23
SPEAKER_02: So I call it the grant season.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: We do it kind of like from September through December.
16:29
SPEAKER_02: And that's it.
16:31
SPEAKER_02: We kind of take the the rest of the year to plan it now that I know better, and I'm getting better every year at it.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: I but September 1st, we are opening up for applications.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: We accept applications from September 1st to November 15th.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: Then we close out the application.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: So we compile all our applications we have.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then our board will look at it uh by November between November 15th to December, beginning of December.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: We make all our decisions then on the grant recipients and all the awards that we're gonna be giving out.
17:07
SPEAKER_02: And by December 15th is when we award the grant.
17:11
SPEAKER_02: So the grant funds are going to be available in the same, like within a couple months.
17:17
SPEAKER_02: Like you're not having to wait.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: If you're you have some infertility treatments that you're ready for, like you'll have you'll have that money.
17:24
SPEAKER_02: But in the middle of our grant season and our applicant accepting applications, we have our annual fundraiser.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: And that is in this year, it's October 15th.
17:36
SPEAKER_02: We usually try to have it in October, and however much money we raise during that, and with online and corporate sponsors, is how many, how much, how many grants we're able to get out and how much.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: So 100% of all of our proceeds are gonna be given out to our grant recipients.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: Um, and that's been a huge, uh, just a huge focus for me.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: This is something I am giving back.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm not taking anything, and I don't want to hire a whole team that's gonna take away from the organization just to grow it even more.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm this is my organic passion project because two moms pretty much help me become a mom.
18:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, number two, because it's so expensive for anyone else to afford it.
18:21
SPEAKER_02: And number three, because you know what?
18:23
SPEAKER_02: It helps my babies understand their story.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: So every every year, like I bring Gavin and Beckham up on stage, which is not really stage, it's at the brewery.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: So it's like behind the mic.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:36
SPEAKER_02: In their Everyone Deserves a Family t-shirt.
18:39
SPEAKER_02: And they get up and they have to say hi.
18:41
SPEAKER_02: And it's just to help them.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know what?
18:44
SPEAKER_02: Your story is special and it's gonna be different than the person sitting next to you in class.
18:49
SPEAKER_02: But it's okay because sometimes you can use that to help others.
18:52
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
18:52
SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, the that the three-pronged approach there is really why I started everyone deserves a family.
18:59
SPEAKER_02: That's pretty incredible.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: So to date, how many babies have been born?
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: How much money have you?
19:06
SPEAKER_02: So we today, we our goal is to try to help one more family each year.
19:11
SPEAKER_02: So the first year we raised$20,000, which was awesome.
19:16
SPEAKER_02: I was so excited.
19:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: And we were able to help four families.
19:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, we break it down into their situations.
19:24
SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of what is their next step?
19:26
SPEAKER_02: Right.
19:27
SPEAKER_02: What do what are they doing?
19:28
SPEAKER_02: If they're doing IUI, maybe that's only$2,000,$3,000.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Some needed a surrogate.
19:36
SPEAKER_02: There was one girl the first year.
19:38
SPEAKER_02: Um, her and her husband have been struggling.
19:40
SPEAKER_02: That was three years ago for 14 years.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: 14 years.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: She has had how old was she?
19:46
SPEAKER_02: Um, she's in her 30s.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: But 14 years, they started.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: She got she had several pregnancies, like she was pretty far along, like almost 20 weeks.
19:56
SPEAKER_02: She lost the baby.
19:57
SPEAKER_02: And I mean, just very horrific story.
20:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, just stories that you're just like, oh my gosh, you deserve this.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: So we gave her a lot, a lot more.
20:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, so so far, we then then next year we raised a little bit more.
20:14
SPEAKER_02: We raised 23,000 and we supported four families.
20:19
SPEAKER_02: So the same.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: And then last year we raised the most.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: We raised$30,000 and we were able to help five families.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, and out of so we have 13 families, and we've had five babies be born, one more adopted just this year, so that's six.
20:36
SPEAKER_02: And then we found out um one of our grant recipients from last year, she's pregnant with twins due in December.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna be up to eight by the end of the yeah, yeah, it is really incredible.
20:51
SPEAKER_02: And it has been such a blessing to watch these families, to get to know these families and then to watch them become moms and dads.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Like it's amazing.
20:59
SPEAKER_02: That's so gratifying.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so to circle back around to the lady that struggled for 14 years that you gave her more money for the surrogate, was she able to have a child?
21:09
SPEAKER_00: No, not yet.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that was year one, so that was three years ago.
21:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:15
SPEAKER_02: So she um she has been waiting for a surrogate for a while now because she was matched and then that didn't work.
21:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, she has several eggs.
21:27
SPEAKER_02: I, you know, I think it might be an egg quality thing in the beginning.
21:31
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
21:31
SPEAKER_02: I try not to ask too many questions once we give out the money.
21:36
SPEAKER_02: Like I know their story, I know where they are, but then I don't want to pry either because you know how hard that is when you're oh yeah, giving.
21:43
SPEAKER_02: But I do know I do touch base with her, and I think um she's she's changing directions.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: So I think one of my questions is kind of like something you already answered, but like uh I was gonna ask you like if your ministry has healed you in any way, and it's Sounds like those babies are definitely something that have like, you know, just like yeah, comforted you inside from all your years of infertility.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: It it it's amazing.
22:12
SPEAKER_02: Like, I can't when I get a text or something.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: Like, I got a text from this year's grant recipient.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: As he's him and his wife are accepting a baby in the hospital.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: He's like, We just came to the hospital.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: We are waiting on the birth mother to have the baby right now.
22:28
SPEAKER_02: Like, it should be any second.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh my gosh, and you're texting me.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: How amazing is that?
22:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's really special.
22:34
SPEAKER_02: It is so special.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: And I know how that is because I was in the shoes.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, it's been super healing.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: And um, I'm very fortunate.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: I'm just, you know, sometimes you can just second guess whether to take that jump.
22:47
SPEAKER_02: You don't know what you're doing.
22:48
SPEAKER_02: You have this idea, but it's like the mental block.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: You can that mental block lasted in me for honestly, like almost four years till I did something.
22:56
SPEAKER_02: And then I was like, no, leap of faith, go.
22:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:59
SPEAKER_02: Do it now.
22:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: Whatever.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: Even if you raise$5,000, right?
23:03
SPEAKER_02: Doesn't matter.
23:03
SPEAKER_02: Right.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: Even if you raise$200, just do it.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: So where do you feel like you see everyone deserves a family going in the next like five, 10 years?
23:13
SPEAKER_00: Or what's like your ultimate dream goal for everyone deserves a family?
23:18
SPEAKER_02: You know, I because it's my passion project, I always put my kids first right now.
23:28
SPEAKER_02: It took me so long to have my babies.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: Like I don't want anything in to get into the way of them.
23:35
SPEAKER_02: They are priority.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: So I I just want to naturally grow it.
23:39
SPEAKER_02: Just organically.
23:40
SPEAKER_02: As organically as the kids get older and they're off and I have more time and I can jump into different projects.
23:49
SPEAKER_02: But again, the goal right now is one more family.
23:53
SPEAKER_02: One more family every year is what we're we're hoping for.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
23:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:58
SPEAKER_02: So you're done with your family.
24:01
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
24:01
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
24:02
SPEAKER_02: You know, my husband and I are older.
24:04
SPEAKER_02: We don't have You're not that old.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: Well, I kinda.
24:08
SPEAKER_02: He's gonna, I mean, sorry, Matt.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: He's gonna be 40.
24:14
SPEAKER_02: He's 48.
24:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
24:17
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I know it's not that much older, but meaning we have no more embryos left.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: Listen, our surrogate, I almost, I was so close before because she aged out.
24:27
SPEAKER_02: You can only be 40, 41, I think, to be a surrogate, and then you're aged out.
24:32
SPEAKER_02: But if I had any more embryos, I would have been like, let's go.
24:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:35
SPEAKER_02: Here we go.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: But we don't have any more embryos.
24:39
SPEAKER_02: And I just feel so fortunate that both of our processes went so smoothly that I just I felt complete.
24:49
SPEAKER_02: You know?
24:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: This is my next baby.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: I know.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I always said, if I could just have one baby, like I would feel like my story was redeemed.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: If I had two, I would have felt like I hit the lottery.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
25:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: Just because as you struggle, and and then I got the the third bonus.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I definitely understand that from the perspective of like when you're struggling, you're just like, I don't care.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: Like, I if I could just end up with one baby, like I'll be okay, I think.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: Well, and we were blessed.
25:23
SPEAKER_02: I mean, and it's just, but again, going back, once you go through this, it doesn't like go away.
25:30
SPEAKER_02: No, I mean, it's just it's just marked on your heart, and it's a journey you came out of, and it is it was hard.
25:39
SPEAKER_02: It was super hard.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:41
SPEAKER_02: And so I, you know, I'm I'm so proud of you for everything you've done, and it's how we can heal and help others make a difference.
25:50
SPEAKER_02: It makes our journey even more worthwhile.
25:52
SPEAKER_02: Our babies made it all, but like any more icing on the cake we can do to help others.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: So, what would you want to go back and tell Infertile Lindsay, like at the start of her journey?
26:06
SPEAKER_00: Like with everything that you know now, with your ministry, with your two babies, like what would you it makes me emotional because I always I feel like that's what I always try to leave everyone with when I'm like in my support group.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: I always have the same thing that I say to everyone because it's the one thing I would have wanted to hear.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: So, what what is it that you would want to hear?
26:27
SPEAKER_02: Um honestly to relax.
26:30
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I wish I could tell have told her to relax and trust God and trust the journey because I couldn't have written that any better than this woman told me when I was struggling with infertility, and it was like the very start.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: She looked at me and she said, It stuck with me forever.
26:48
SPEAKER_02: God's plans are much better than we can ever make for ourselves.
26:54
SPEAKER_02: And if I look back at her, I'm like, well, absolutely it is 100%.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: I've got Gavin and Beckham, they're two different, very two different personalities, but the best of friends, and our family is so much fun.
27:11
SPEAKER_02: And we, it was just, I wish I could have relaxed and trusted in him more for his plan, but easier said than done.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: Easier said than done, yeah, for sure.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's really cool.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for sharing that with us, Lindsay.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited we got to dive a little more into everyone deserves a family.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to maybe give everyone some information on like next steps if they want to get involved with uh your organization?
27:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
27:37
SPEAKER_02: Um, definitely go on our website and check it out at everyone deserves a family grants.com.
27:44
SPEAKER_02: We have some tabs there with um our events, how to donate, and also how to apply for our grants, which open September 1st.
27:54
SPEAKER_02: That's a Tuesday this year, and that's accepted through November 15th.
27:58
SPEAKER_02: Um, there is some criteria to uh apply, which is also listed on the website.
28:04
SPEAKER_02: You can follow us on um Everyone Deserves a Family and Facebook and also on Instagram.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, that's awesome.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: Well, thanks so much for sharing.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, it.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for joining us on today's podcast.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: If you have been impacted by this episode, there are two things you can do for us.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: First is leave a review on Spotify or Apple Music.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: And second, is to share this with a friend who is struggling.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: This helps us to spread our message of hope for others.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: If you would like to get in touch with Lindsay or myself, please message us on Instagram at Infertile Diaries Podcast.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Or you can go to our websites at Whitneyheneman.com, and everyone deserves a familygrants.com.