Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 246:Healing Begins with Feeling: Emotional Awareness, Safe Spaces, and Self-Discovery with Danielle Zilg

Transcript

E 246:Healing Begins with Feeling: Emotional Awareness, Safe Spaces, and Self-Discovery with Danielle Zilg · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:45
  All
• 0:45
  right.
• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  good
• 0:47
  morning,
• 0:48
  everybody,
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  welcome
• 0:49
  back.
• 0:49
  I
• 0:49
  always
• 0:49
  say
• 0:50
  morning.
• 0:50
  Actually,
• 0:50
  it
• 0:50
  is
• 0:51
  morning
• 0:51
  today,
• 0:51
  but
• 0:51
  usually
• 0:52
  I
• 0:52
  say
• 0:52
  it
• 0:52
  whether
• 0:52
  it's
• 0:52
  morning
• 0:53
  or
• 0:53
  not.
• 0:53
  I
• 0:53
  don't
• 0:53
  know
• 0:54
  why
• 0:54
  I
• 0:54
  do
• 0:54
  that.
• 0:54
  Now
• 0:54
  I
• 0:55
  do
• 0:55
  that,
• 0:55
  too.
• 0:57
  But.
• 0:57
  Welcome
• 0:58
  back
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  the
• 0:58
  Adult
• 0:58
  Childhood
• 0:59
  Dysfunction
• 0:59
  podcast,
• 1:00
  where
• 1:00
  we
• 1:01
  spread
• 1:01
  stories
• 1:02
  of
• 1:02
  hope.
• 1:03
  And
• 1:03
  healing
• 1:03
  and
• 1:04
  love
• 1:04
  and
• 1:04
  joy.
• 1:05
  So
• 1:05
  today
• 1:05
  we
• 1:06
  have
• 1:06
  with
• 1:06
  us
• 1:06
  Daniel
• 1:06
  Zil.
• 1:07
  She's
• 1:07
  a
• 1:08
  marriage
• 1:08
  and
• 1:08
  family
• 1:09
  therapist
• 1:09
  in.
• 1:09
  In
• 1:10
  the
• 1:10
  making.
• 1:11
  She's
• 1:11
  a
• 1:11
  motivator,
• 1:12
  a
• 1:12
  mental
• 1:12
  health
• 1:13
  maven,
• 1:13
  student
• 1:14
  of
• 1:14
  life,
• 1:14
  wounded
• 1:15
  healer,
• 1:15
  hope
• 1:16
  merchant,
• 1:16
  change
• 1:16
  agent,
• 1:17
  beach
• 1:17
  bum,
• 1:18
  sunset
• 1:19
  seeker,
• 1:19
  summer
• 1:20
  girl,
• 1:20
  and
• 1:20
  the
• 1:20
  list
• 1:21
  goes
• 1:21
  on.
• 1:22
  She
• 1:22
  is
• 1:22
  deeply
• 1:22
  passionate
• 1:23
  about
• 1:23
  all
• 1:23
  things
• 1:23
  mental
• 1:24
  health,
• 1:24
  creating
• 1:24
  safe
• 1:25
  space
• 1:25
  for
• 1:25
  feeling
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  healing
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  whole
• 1:27
  living.
• 1:28
  And
• 1:28
  I
• 1:28
  have
• 1:29
  spoken
• 1:29
  to
• 1:29
  Danielle.
• 1:30
  We.
• 1:30
  I
• 1:30
  was
• 1:30
  actually
• 1:30
  just
• 1:31
  on
• 1:31
  her
• 1:31
  podcast,
• 1:31
  which.
• 1:32
  What's
• 1:32
  the
• 1:32
  name
• 1:32
  of
• 1:33
  it
• 1:33
  again?
• 1:33
  I'm
• 1:33
  sorry,
• 1:33
  I
• 1:33
  forgot.
• 1:34
  Healing
• 1:34
  and
• 1:34
  healing.
• 1:34
  Yep,
• 1:35
  Feeling,
• 1:35
  Healing.
• 1:37
  So
• 1:37
  we
• 1:37
  are
• 1:37
  going
• 1:37
  to
• 1:37
  run
• 1:38
  these
• 1:38
  hopefully
• 1:39
  somewhat
• 1:39
  side
• 1:40
  by
• 1:40
  side
• 1:40
  and
• 1:41
  just
• 1:41
  share
• 1:42
  so
• 1:42
  much
• 1:42
  wisdom
• 1:43
  that
• 1:43
  Danielle
• 1:44
  has.
• 1:44
  To
• 1:44
  share
• 1:44
  with
• 1:44
  us.
• 1:44
  So
• 1:45
  welcome,
• 1:45
  Danielle.
• 1:46
  Thank
• 1:46
  you
• 1:46
  so
• 1:47
  much,
• 1:47
  Tammy.
• 1:47
  I
• 1:47
  appreciate
• 1:48
  you
• 1:48
  having
• 1:48
  me
• 1:48
  on.
• 1:49
  Yeah.
• 1:49
  So
• 1:50
  we,
• 1:50
  like
• 1:50
  I
• 1:50
  said,
• 1:51
  we
• 1:51
  have
• 1:51
  a
• 1:51
  conglomerate
• 1:52
  of
• 1:52
  things
• 1:52
  to
• 1:52
  talk
• 1:52
  about.
• 1:53
  Just
• 1:53
  because
• 1:53
  you
• 1:53
  are.
• 1:54
  We
• 1:54
  are
• 1:54
  in
• 1:54
  kind
• 1:54
  of
• 1:55
  the
• 1:55
  same
• 1:55
  space
• 1:55
  as
• 1:56
  so
• 1:56
  many
• 1:56
  of
• 1:56
  us
• 1:56
  are.
• 1:57
  But
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  want
• 1:58
  you
• 1:58
  to
• 1:59
  talk
• 1:59
  about
• 2:00
  why
• 2:00
  you
• 2:01
  chose
• 2:02
  marriage
• 2:02
  and
• 2:02
  family
• 2:03
  therapy.
• 2:04
  Yeah.
• 2:05
  So
• 2:05
  it's
• 2:06
  so
• 2:06
  funny,
• 2:06
  everybody
• 2:07
  asked
• 2:07
  me
• 2:07
  this
• 2:07
  because
• 2:08
  I
• 2:08
  get
• 2:08
  that
• 2:08
  question
• 2:08
  a
• 2:09
  lot.
• 2:09
  And
• 2:10
  quite
• 2:10
  frankly,
• 2:10
  I
• 2:11
  kind
• 2:11
  of
• 2:11
  just
• 2:12
  fell
• 2:12
  into
• 2:13
  it
• 2:13
  because
• 2:14
  I
• 2:14
  went
• 2:14
  to
• 2:15
  the
• 2:15
  university
• 2:15
  I'm
• 2:16
  going
• 2:16
  to
• 2:16
  in
• 2:16
  New
• 2:16
  Jersey.
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  went
• 2:17
  there
• 2:17
  as
• 2:18
  an
• 2:18
  undergrad,
• 2:18
  and
• 2:19
  they
• 2:19
  had
• 2:19
  three
• 2:20
  psychology.
• 2:21
  And
• 2:21
  I.
• 2:21
  This
• 2:22
  is
• 2:22
  my
• 2:22
  change
• 2:22
  in
• 2:22
  my
• 2:22
  career.
• 2:23
  So
• 2:23
  I
• 2:23
  worked
• 2:23
  in
• 2:23
  marketing
• 2:24
  for
• 2:24
  14
• 2:24
  years.
• 2:25
  I
• 2:26
  just
• 2:27
  didn't
• 2:27
  feel
• 2:27
  like
• 2:27
  that
• 2:28
  was
• 2:28
  the
• 2:28
  environment
• 2:28
  for
• 2:28
  me
• 2:29
  anymore.
• 2:29
  I
• 2:29
  didn't
• 2:29
  feel
• 2:30
  lit
• 2:30
  up.
• 2:30
  And
• 2:30
  I
• 2:30
  was
• 2:31
  like,
• 2:31
  what?
• 2:31
  I
• 2:31
  want
• 2:32
  to
• 2:32
  do
• 2:32
  something
• 2:32
  to
• 2:32
  help
• 2:33
  people.
• 2:34
  And
• 2:34
  going
• 2:34
  through
• 2:34
  my
• 2:35
  own
• 2:35
  mental
• 2:35
  health
• 2:35
  challenges
• 2:36
  and
• 2:36
  seeking
• 2:37
  help
• 2:37
  myself,
• 2:37
  being
• 2:38
  in
• 2:38
  therapy,
• 2:38
  I
• 2:38
  was
• 2:39
  like,
• 2:39
  I
• 2:39
  would
• 2:39
  love
• 2:39
  to
• 2:40
  become
• 2:40
  a
• 2:40
  therapist.
• 2:41
  So
• 2:41
  I
• 2:41
  just
• 2:41
  actually
• 2:42
  looked
• 2:42
  on
• 2:43
  the
• 2:43
  website
• 2:44
  of
• 2:44
  my
• 2:44
  university,
• 2:45
  and
• 2:45
  they
• 2:45
  offered
• 2:45
  three
• 2:46
  programs,
• 2:46
  and
• 2:47
  I
• 2:47
  just
• 2:47
  figured,
• 2:48
  all
• 2:48
  right,
• 2:48
  like,
• 2:48
  they've
• 2:49
  just
• 2:49
  general
• 2:49
  counseling,
• 2:50
  forensic,
• 2:51
  which
• 2:51
  I'm
• 2:51
  like,
• 2:51
  that's
• 2:52
  not
• 2:52
  me.
• 2:53
  And
• 2:53
  then
• 2:53
  they
• 2:53
  offered
• 2:54
  marriage
• 2:54
  and
• 2:54
  family
• 2:54
  therapy.
• 2:55
  And
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  was
• 2:56
  like,
• 2:56
  you
• 2:56
  know
• 2:56
  what?
• 2:56
  Like,
• 2:57
  I've
• 2:57
  always
• 2:57
  really
• 2:58
  been
• 2:58
  interested
• 2:58
  in
• 2:59
  relationships
• 3:00
  and,
• 3:01
  you
• 3:01
  know,
• 3:02
  also
• 3:02
  to
• 3:02
  working
• 3:02
  with,
• 3:03
  like,
• 3:03
  different
• 3:03
  populations,
• 3:04
  like,
• 3:04
  obviously
• 3:05
  individuals,
• 3:05
  couples,
• 3:06
  family.
• 3:07
  So
• 3:07
  I
• 3:07
  was
• 3:07
  like,
• 3:08
  let
• 3:08
  me
• 3:08
  choose
• 3:08
  marriage
• 3:09
  and
• 3:09
  family
• 3:09
  therapy.
• 3:10
  And
• 3:10
  as
• 3:10
  I'm
• 3:11
  in
• 3:11
  the
• 3:11
  degree
• 3:12
  and
• 3:12
  as
• 3:12
  I'm
• 3:12
  learning
• 3:13
  more
• 3:13
  as
• 3:13
  a
• 3:14
  marriage
• 3:14
  and
• 3:14
  family
• 3:14
  therapist,
• 3:15
  I
• 3:15
  am
• 3:16
  in
• 3:16
  awe
• 3:17
  of
• 3:18
  how
• 3:18
  we
• 3:18
  are
• 3:18
  trained
• 3:20
  and
• 3:20
  it
• 3:20
  is.
• 3:21
  I
• 3:21
  know
• 3:21
  you're
• 3:21
  in
• 3:21
  Florida.
• 3:22
  I'm
• 3:22
  in
• 3:22
  New
• 3:22
  Jersey.
• 3:23
  But
• 3:23
  actually
• 3:23
  in
• 3:23
  New
• 3:23
  Jersey,
• 3:24
  marriage
• 3:24
  and
• 3:25
  family
• 3:25
  therapy
• 3:25
  is
• 3:25
  not
• 3:27
  very
• 3:27
  big.
• 3:28
  Social
• 3:28
  work
• 3:29
  is
• 3:29
  huge
• 3:29
  up
• 3:29
  here.
• 3:30
  For
• 3:30
  some
• 3:30
  reason,
• 3:30
  I
• 3:31
  don't
• 3:31
  really
• 3:31
  know
• 3:31
  why,
• 3:32
  but
• 3:32
  the
• 3:32
  way
• 3:33
  marriage
• 3:33
  and
• 3:33
  family
• 3:34
  therapists
• 3:34
  are
• 3:34
  trained
• 3:35
  are.
• 3:35
  We
• 3:35
  are
• 3:35
  trained
• 3:36
  to
• 3:36
  think
• 3:36
  very
• 3:37
  differently
• 3:37
  than
• 3:38
  a
• 3:38
  social
• 3:39
  worker
• 3:39
  than
• 3:39
  a
• 3:39
  licensed
• 3:40
  professional
• 3:40
  counselor.
• 3:41
  And
• 3:42
  it's
• 3:42
  honestly
• 3:43
  very
• 3:43
  special.
• 3:44
  And
• 3:44
  as
• 3:44
  I'm
• 3:45
  getting
• 3:45
  into
• 3:45
  this
• 3:45
  field,
• 3:45
  I
• 3:46
  was
• 3:46
  like,
• 3:46
  this
• 3:46
  is
• 3:46
  what
• 3:47
  I
• 3:47
  was
• 3:47
  meant
• 3:48
  to
• 3:48
  do,
• 3:49
  because,
• 3:50
  you
• 3:50
  know,
• 3:50
  a
• 3:50
  lot
• 3:50
  of.
• 3:51
  A
• 3:51
  lot
• 3:51
  of
• 3:51
  therapists,
• 3:52
  even
• 3:52
  though,
• 3:52
  you
• 3:52
  know,
• 3:53
  I
• 3:53
  know,
• 3:54
  you
• 3:54
  know,
• 3:55
  no,
• 3:55
  no
• 3:56
  judgment
• 3:57
  or
• 3:57
  any.
• 3:57
  Like,
• 3:58
  every
• 3:58
  therapist,
• 3:59
  LPCs,
• 4:00
  social
• 4:00
  workers
• 4:00
  are
• 4:01
  doing
• 4:01
  amazing
• 4:02
  work.
• 4:02
  It's
• 4:03
  just
• 4:04
  such
• 4:04
  radical
• 4:05
  work.
• 4:05
  When
• 4:05
  you
• 4:06
  can,
• 4:06
  you
• 4:07
  know,
• 4:07
  as
• 4:07
  you
• 4:07
  know
• 4:07
  from
• 4:07
  your
• 4:08
  story,
• 4:08
  I
• 4:08
  know
• 4:08
  from
• 4:09
  your
• 4:09
  story,
• 4:09
  when
• 4:09
  you
• 4:10
  can
• 4:10
  peel
• 4:10
  back
• 4:10
  the
• 4:11
  layers
• 4:11
  of
• 4:12
  generations
• 4:12
  and
• 4:13
  generations
• 4:13
  and
• 4:14
  how
• 4:14
  that
• 4:14
  impacts
• 4:15
  you,
• 4:16
  it's
• 4:16
  so
• 4:16
  powerful.
• 4:18
  Very,
• 4:18
  very
• 4:18
  true.
• 4:19
  And
• 4:19
  I.
• 4:19
  That's
• 4:19
  what
• 4:19
  I
• 4:19
  was
• 4:19
  wondering.
• 4:20
  I
• 4:20
  was
• 4:20
  wondering,
• 4:20
  like,
• 4:20
  did
• 4:21
  you
• 4:21
  get
• 4:21
  into
• 4:21
  the
• 4:21
  marriage
• 4:22
  and
• 4:22
  family
• 4:22
  therapy
• 4:23
  part
• 4:23
  because
• 4:24
  of
• 4:24
  your
• 4:24
  family,
• 4:25
  because
• 4:26
  parents,
• 4:27
  because
• 4:27
  of
• 4:27
  your
• 4:27
  own?
• 4:28
  And
• 4:28
  it
• 4:28
  doesn't
• 4:29
  sound
• 4:29
  like
• 4:29
  that's
• 4:29
  the
• 4:29
  case
• 4:30
  at
• 4:30
  all,
• 4:30
  so.
• 4:30
  Well,
• 4:31
  it's
• 4:31
  so
• 4:31
  funny
• 4:32
  you
• 4:32
  mentioned
• 4:32
  that
• 4:33
  because,
• 4:33
  like,
• 4:33
  I
• 4:34
  struggle
• 4:34
  just
• 4:35
  individually
• 4:35
  with,
• 4:35
  like.
• 4:36
  And
• 4:36
  I
• 4:36
  was
• 4:36
  just.
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  mean,
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  don't
• 4:37
  know
• 4:38
  if
• 4:38
  you
• 4:38
  know
• 4:38
  this
• 4:38
  or
• 4:38
  we
• 4:38
  shared
• 4:39
  this
• 4:39
  on
• 4:39
  my
• 4:39
  podcast,
• 4:39
  but
• 4:40
  I'm
• 4:40
  adopted.
• 4:41
  So
• 4:42
  when
• 4:42
  I,
• 4:43
  like,
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  always
• 4:43
  thought.
• 4:44
  I
• 4:44
  remember
• 4:44
  actually
• 4:45
  vividly
• 4:45
  when
• 4:46
  I
• 4:46
  was
• 4:46
  in
• 4:46
  high
• 4:46
  school,
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  was
• 4:47
  like,
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  was
• 4:48
  having
• 4:48
  a
• 4:48
  really
• 4:48
  bad,
• 4:49
  like,
• 4:49
  just
• 4:49
  mental
• 4:50
  health.
• 4:50
  Like,
• 4:50
  I
• 4:50
  was
• 4:51
  really,
• 4:51
  really
• 4:52
  struggling
• 4:52
  with
• 4:52
  anxiety
• 4:52
  and
• 4:53
  actually
• 4:53
  went
• 4:53
  to
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  emergency
• 4:54
  room.
• 4:55
  And
• 4:55
  when,
• 4:56
  you
• 4:56
  know,
• 4:56
  to
• 4:56
  potentially
• 4:57
  be
• 4:57
  put
• 4:58
  in,
• 4:58
  like,
• 4:58
  you
• 4:58
  know,
• 4:58
  like
• 4:59
  a
• 4:59
  psych
• 5:00
  program,
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  didn't
• 5:01
  end
• 5:01
  up
• 5:01
  doing
• 5:01
  it
• 5:01
  because
• 5:01
  they
• 5:02
  didn't,
• 5:02
  like,
• 5:02
  didn't
• 5:02
  meet
• 5:03
  the.
• 5:03
  You
• 5:03
  know,
• 5:03
  I
• 5:03
  wasn't
• 5:04
  that
• 5:04
  severe,
• 5:04
  but
• 5:04
  my
• 5:05
  parents
• 5:05
  took
• 5:05
  me
• 5:05
  to
• 5:05
  the
• 5:05
  emergency
• 5:06
  room,
• 5:06
  and
• 5:06
  I
• 5:07
  remember
• 5:07
  somebody
• 5:07
  telling
• 5:08
  me,
• 5:08
  like,
• 5:08
  a
• 5:08
  therapist,
• 5:09
  or
• 5:09
  I
• 5:10
  don't
• 5:10
  know
• 5:10
  what
• 5:10
  designation
• 5:11
  they
• 5:11
  were.
• 5:11
  They
• 5:11
  were
• 5:12
  like,
• 5:12
  oh,
• 5:12
  you're
• 5:13
  adopted.
• 5:13
  Like
• 5:13
  the.
• 5:14
  And
• 5:14
  they
• 5:14
  were
• 5:14
  like,
• 5:14
  when
• 5:14
  did
• 5:14
  you
• 5:15
  come
• 5:15
  here?
• 5:15
  Like,
• 5:15
  the
• 5:15
  timing.
• 5:16
  And
• 5:16
  I
• 5:16
  was
• 5:16
  like,
• 5:16
  oh.
• 5:17
  Like,
• 5:17
  I
• 5:17
  kind
• 5:17
  of
• 5:17
  just
• 5:17
  brushed
• 5:18
  it
• 5:18
  off.
• 5:18
  I
• 5:18
  was
• 5:19
  like,
• 5:19
  what
• 5:19
  are
• 5:19
  they
• 5:20
  talking
• 5:20
  about?
• 5:20
  Because
• 5:20
  I
• 5:20
  was
• 5:21
  like,
• 5:21
  I
• 5:21
  was
• 5:21
  adopted
• 5:22
  to,
• 5:22
  like,
• 5:23
  the
• 5:23
  most
• 5:23
  loving
• 5:24
  family.
• 5:25
  I
• 5:25
  was
• 5:25
  welcomed
• 5:26
  unconditionally
• 5:27
  in
• 5:27
  my
• 5:27
  family.
• 5:28
  But
• 5:29
  as
• 5:29
  I'm
• 5:29
  in
• 5:29
  this
• 5:30
  program
• 5:30
  because,
• 5:31
  you
• 5:31
  know,
• 5:32
  you
• 5:32
  learn
• 5:32
  a
• 5:32
  lot
• 5:32
  about
• 5:33
  yourself.
• 5:33
  It's
• 5:33
  called
• 5:34
  self,
• 5:34
  the
• 5:34
  therapist.
• 5:35
  I'm
• 5:36
  realizing
• 5:36
  the
• 5:37
  impact
• 5:37
  that
• 5:38
  that
• 5:38
  moment
• 5:39
  had
• 5:39
  on
• 5:40
  my
• 5:40
  life
• 5:41
  because
• 5:41
  of
• 5:41
  my
• 5:42
  training
• 5:42
  and
• 5:42
  because
• 5:43
  how
• 5:43
  we're
• 5:44
  taught
• 5:44
  to
• 5:44
  look
• 5:45
  at.
• 5:47
  What
• 5:47
  I'm
• 5:47
  sure
• 5:47
  you're
• 5:47
  aware
• 5:47
  of
• 5:48
  is
• 5:48
  like,
• 5:48
  attachment
• 5:49
  styles.
• 5:49
  And
• 5:50
  that
• 5:50
  is
• 5:50
  basically
• 5:51
  in
• 5:52
  the
• 5:52
  womb
• 5:53
  till,
• 5:53
  like,
• 5:54
  you
• 5:54
  know,
• 5:54
  your
• 5:54
  first
• 5:55
  year,
• 5:55
  you
• 5:55
  know,
• 5:56
  your
• 5:56
  early,
• 5:56
  very
• 5:56
  early
• 5:57
  development
• 5:58
  and
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  relationship
• 5:59
  you
• 5:59
  have
• 5:59
  with
• 5:59
  your
• 6:00
  caregiver
• 6:01
  really
• 6:01
  does
• 6:02
  impact
• 6:02
  how
• 6:03
  you
• 6:03
  are
• 6:03
  in
• 6:03
  relationships
• 6:04
  as
• 6:04
  an
• 6:04
  adult.
• 6:05
  Absolutely.
• 6:05
  So,
• 6:06
  like,
• 6:06
  I
• 6:07
  was
• 6:07
  like,
• 6:07
  oh,
• 6:08
  yeah,
• 6:08
  like,
• 6:08
  my
• 6:08
  parents,
• 6:09
  my
• 6:09
  adopted
• 6:09
  parents,
• 6:10
  I'm
• 6:10
  like,
• 6:10
  they're
• 6:10
  great.
• 6:10
  Like,
• 6:11
  why
• 6:11
  would
• 6:11
  I
• 6:11
  have
• 6:13
  potential
• 6:13
  abandonment
• 6:14
  issues?
• 6:14
  And
• 6:15
  through
• 6:15
  my
• 6:15
  process
• 6:16
  of
• 6:16
  becoming
• 6:16
  a
• 6:17
  therapist,
• 6:18
  I'm
• 6:18
  learning.
• 6:19
  I'm
• 6:19
  like,
• 6:19
  just
• 6:20
  because
• 6:20
  of
• 6:20
  that
• 6:20
  one
• 6:21
  instance
• 6:21
  in
• 6:21
  my
• 6:22
  life
• 6:22
  that
• 6:23
  was
• 6:23
  me
• 6:23
  being
• 6:23
  taken
• 6:24
  from
• 6:24
  my
• 6:24
  birth
• 6:24
  mother
• 6:25
  at
• 6:25
  a
• 6:25
  very
• 6:26
  young
• 6:26
  age.
• 6:26
  That's
• 6:27
  not,
• 6:27
  you
• 6:27
  know,
• 6:28
  typical
• 6:29
  because,
• 6:29
  you
• 6:29
  know,
• 6:29
  normally
• 6:30
  you
• 6:30
  stay
• 6:30
  with,
• 6:30
  you
• 6:31
  know,
• 6:31
  the
• 6:31
  person
• 6:31
  that
• 6:31
  gives
• 6:32
  birth
• 6:32
  that
• 6:32
  you
• 6:32
  give
• 6:32
  birth
• 6:33
  to
• 6:33
  or
• 6:33
  that
• 6:33
  gives
• 6:34
  you
• 6:34
  life.
• 6:35
  That
• 6:35
  one
• 6:35
  little
• 6:36
  moment,
• 6:37
  it
• 6:37
  has
• 6:38
  impacted
• 6:38
  me
• 6:39
  as
• 6:39
  a
• 6:40
  person,
• 6:40
  and
• 6:40
  I
• 6:41
  can't
• 6:41
  deny
• 6:41
  it.
• 6:41
  And
• 6:41
  I
• 6:41
  had
• 6:42
  to
• 6:42
  confront
• 6:42
  it,
• 6:43
  but.
• 6:43
  And
• 6:43
  I'm,
• 6:44
  you
• 6:44
  know,
• 6:44
  had
• 6:45
  to
• 6:45
  do
• 6:45
  my
• 6:45
  work
• 6:45
  on
• 6:45
  it.
• 6:46
  But,
• 6:46
  like,
• 6:46
  it.
• 6:47
  Before
• 6:48
  entering
• 6:48
  this
• 6:48
  program,
• 6:49
  I
• 6:49
  was
• 6:49
  kind
• 6:49
  of
• 6:49
  just
• 6:49
  like,
• 6:49
  oh,
• 6:50
  yeah,
• 6:50
  no
• 6:50
  big
• 6:50
  deal.
• 6:51
  I
• 6:51
  was
• 6:51
  adopted.
• 6:52
  Like,
• 6:52
  who
• 6:52
  cares?
• 6:53
  You
• 6:53
  know?
• 6:53
  Right.
• 6:54
  And
• 6:54
  we
• 6:54
  have.
• 6:54
  Actually,
• 6:55
  I'll.
• 6:55
  I
• 6:55
  don't
• 6:56
  know
• 6:56
  the
• 6:56
  exact.
• 6:56
  I
• 6:56
  was
• 6:56
  just
• 6:57
  looking
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  see
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  exact
• 6:57
  episodes
• 6:58
  because
• 6:58
  I
• 6:58
  have
• 6:58
  several
• 6:59
  episodes
• 6:59
  on
• 6:59
  people
• 7:00
  that
• 7:00
  do.
• 7:01
  They
• 7:01
  are
• 7:02
  coaches
• 7:03
  and
• 7:03
  they
• 7:04
  do
• 7:04
  therapy,
• 7:06
  people
• 7:06
  that
• 7:06
  are
• 7:06
  adopted
• 7:07
  and
• 7:07
  just
• 7:07
  because
• 7:08
  of
• 7:08
  that
• 7:08
  adoption
• 7:08
  trauma.
• 7:09
  And
• 7:09
  you're
• 7:10
  right,
• 7:10
  there's
• 7:10
  so
• 7:10
  much
• 7:11
  more
• 7:11
  to
• 7:11
  it
• 7:11
  than
• 7:11
  just,
• 7:12
  you
• 7:12
  know,
• 7:13
  everybody
• 7:13
  just
• 7:13
  assumes.
• 7:14
  And
• 7:14
  it's
• 7:14
  the
• 7:15
  naivety
• 7:15
  of
• 7:16
  the
• 7:16
  world
• 7:16
  that
• 7:17
  everybody
• 7:17
  assumes
• 7:18
  as
• 7:18
  long
• 7:18
  as
• 7:18
  the
• 7:19
  adopted
• 7:19
  parent
• 7:20
  or
• 7:20
  adoptee,
• 7:21
  the
• 7:21
  parents
• 7:22
  that
• 7:22
  adopt
• 7:22
  the
• 7:22
  child
• 7:23
  are
• 7:23
  good
• 7:23
  to
• 7:24
  the
• 7:24
  child,
• 7:24
  that
• 7:24
  there
• 7:24
  is
• 7:25
  no
• 7:25
  attachment
• 7:25
  wound
• 7:26
  or
• 7:26
  there
• 7:26
  is
• 7:26
  no
• 7:27
  trauma.
• 7:28
  But
• 7:28
  I
• 7:28
  mean,
• 7:28
  yes,
• 7:28
  you're
• 7:29
  right.
• 7:29
  There's.
• 7:30
  And
• 7:30
  it
• 7:30
  goes.
• 7:31
  It
• 7:31
  goes.
• 7:31
  There's
• 7:31
  so
• 7:32
  much
• 7:32
  to
• 7:32
  it.
• 7:32
  And
• 7:32
  again,
• 7:33
  like,
• 7:34
  Google
• 7:34
  the
• 7:35
  science.
• 7:35
  Like,
• 7:35
  there's
• 7:35
  science
• 7:37
  to
• 7:37
  the
• 7:37
  DNA
• 7:38
  breakage
• 7:38
  and
• 7:39
  there's
• 7:39
  science
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  all
• 7:39
  of
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  and
• 7:40
  to
• 7:40
  how
• 7:40
  that
• 7:41
  would
• 7:41
  change,
• 7:42
  really,
• 7:42
  your.
• 7:43
  Your
• 7:43
  sense
• 7:44
  of
• 7:44
  self
• 7:44
  and
• 7:44
  your
• 7:45
  sense
• 7:45
  of
• 7:45
  identity
• 7:45
  and
• 7:46
  your
• 7:46
  sense
• 7:46
  of
• 7:47
  security
• 7:47
  and
• 7:47
  everything
• 7:48
  else.
• 7:48
  But
• 7:49
  no,
• 7:50
  that's.
• 7:50
  That's
• 7:50
  pretty
• 7:51
  good.
• 7:51
  And
• 7:51
  it
• 7:51
  is
• 7:52
  a
• 7:52
  fascinating
• 7:52
  topic
• 7:53
  because
• 7:53
  when
• 7:53
  I
• 7:53
  did
• 7:53
  my
• 7:54
  summit
• 7:54
  last
• 7:54
  year
• 7:54
  in
• 7:55
  December,
• 7:56
  people
• 7:56
  came
• 7:56
  on
• 7:56
  and
• 7:56
  they're
• 7:57
  like,
• 7:57
  oh,
• 7:57
  I
• 7:57
  want
• 7:57
  to
• 7:57
  talk
• 7:57
  about
• 7:57
  adoption
• 7:58
  trauma.
• 7:58
  And
• 7:59
  I'm
• 7:59
  like,
• 7:59
  that's
• 7:59
  a
• 7:59
  thing.
• 8:00
  It
• 8:00
  is,
• 8:01
  yeah.
• 8:02
  Like,
• 8:02
  I
• 8:03
  was
• 8:03
  shocked,
• 8:03
  but
• 8:04
  wow,
• 8:04
  when
• 8:04
  I
• 8:05
  really
• 8:05
  got
• 8:05
  down
• 8:06
  and
• 8:06
  talked
• 8:06
  to
• 8:06
  someone
• 8:07
  about
• 8:07
  it,
• 8:07
  it's.
• 8:08
  It's.
• 8:09
  It's
• 8:09
  definitely
• 8:10
  something.
• 8:10
  So
• 8:11
  if
• 8:11
  you're
• 8:11
  out
• 8:11
  there
• 8:11
  and
• 8:12
  you're
• 8:12
  going,
• 8:12
  oh,
• 8:12
  wow,
• 8:13
  maybe.
• 8:13
  Maybe
• 8:14
  we're
• 8:14
  not
• 8:15
  saying
• 8:15
  if
• 8:15
  you're
• 8:15
  adopted.
• 8:16
  You're
• 8:16
  messed
• 8:16
  up.
• 8:16
  That's
• 8:16
  not
• 8:17
  what
• 8:17
  we're
• 8:17
  saying.
• 8:17
  No,
• 8:17
  no,
• 8:18
  no,
• 8:18
  no,
• 8:18
  no.
• 8:18
  You
• 8:19
  know,
• 8:19
  we're
• 8:19
  just
• 8:19
  saying
• 8:19
  that
• 8:20
  there
• 8:20
  are
• 8:20
  some
• 8:21
  inherent
• 8:22
  wounds,
• 8:23
  emotional
• 8:24
  wounds
• 8:24
  that
• 8:25
  will
• 8:25
  follow
• 8:25
  with
• 8:25
  you
• 8:26
  unless
• 8:27
  something
• 8:27
  is
• 8:27
  done
• 8:27
  about
• 8:27
  them
• 8:28
  or
• 8:28
  unless
• 8:28
  you
• 8:29
  become
• 8:29
  aware
• 8:29
  and,
• 8:30
  you
• 8:30
  know,
• 8:30
  go
• 8:31
  through
• 8:31
  it.
• 8:31
  But
• 8:32
  that.
• 8:33
  Yeah.
• 8:33
  So
• 8:34
  I
• 8:34
  just
• 8:34
  assume
• 8:34
  when
• 8:35
  anybody
• 8:35
  goes
• 8:36
  into
• 8:36
  family
• 8:36
  and
• 8:36
  physic,
• 8:37
  you
• 8:37
  know,
• 8:37
  marriage
• 8:37
  and
• 8:38
  family
• 8:38
  counseling,
• 8:39
  I
• 8:39
  just.
• 8:39
  Or
• 8:39
  therapy,
• 8:41
  my
• 8:41
  assumption
• 8:41
  is
• 8:42
  always
• 8:42
  other
• 8:42
  parents
• 8:42
  were
• 8:43
  messed
• 8:43
  up
• 8:43
  and
• 8:43
  they
• 8:43
  just
• 8:44
  need
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  learn.
• 8:45
  They.
• 8:45
  Because,
• 8:46
  you
• 8:46
  know,
• 8:47
  it
• 8:47
  seems
• 8:47
  like
• 8:47
  people
• 8:48
  get
• 8:48
  into
• 8:48
  healing.
• 8:49
  Heal?
• 8:50
  Yeah,
• 8:51
  you
• 8:51
  want
• 8:51
  to
• 8:51
  heal
• 8:51
  which
• 8:52
  wounded
• 8:52
  in
• 8:52
  you.
• 8:52
  So
• 8:53
  you
• 8:53
  learn.
• 8:53
  And
• 8:53
  that's
• 8:54
  what
• 8:54
  usually
• 8:54
  fascinates
• 8:55
  people.
• 8:55
  And
• 8:56
  I
• 8:56
  know
• 8:56
  you
• 8:56
  actually
• 8:57
  even
• 8:57
  called
• 8:57
  yourself
• 8:58
  the
• 8:58
  wounded
• 8:58
  healer.
• 8:59
  Talk
• 8:59
  about
• 8:59
  that.
• 9:00
  Oh,
• 9:00
  yeah.
• 9:01
  So,
• 9:01
  I
• 9:01
  mean,
• 9:01
  I
• 9:02
  just.
• 9:02
  And
• 9:02
  I
• 9:02
  will
• 9:02
  say
• 9:03
  I
• 9:03
  have.
• 9:03
  I'm
• 9:04
  very
• 9:04
  lucky,
• 9:04
  actually.
• 9:06
  And
• 9:06
  that's
• 9:06
  maybe
• 9:06
  like,
• 9:07
  you
• 9:07
  know,
• 9:07
  I
• 9:07
  think
• 9:08
  sometimes
• 9:08
  you,
• 9:09
  as
• 9:09
  you
• 9:09
  mentioned,
• 9:10
  like,
• 9:10
  people
• 9:11
  that
• 9:11
  be.
• 9:11
  Go
• 9:11
  into
• 9:12
  marriage
• 9:12
  and
• 9:12
  family
• 9:12
  therapy,
• 9:13
  sometimes,
• 9:13
  I've
• 9:13
  heard,
• 9:13
  like,
• 9:14
  they
• 9:14
  feel
• 9:14
  like
• 9:14
  the
• 9:14
  black
• 9:14
  sheep
• 9:15
  of
• 9:15
  the
• 9:15
  family.
• 9:16
  Like,
• 9:16
  they
• 9:16
  feel
• 9:16
  like
• 9:16
  they're
• 9:17
  like.
• 9:18
  Like
• 9:18
  everybody
• 9:18
  else
• 9:19
  is
• 9:19
  different.
• 9:19
  And
• 9:19
  I'm.
• 9:20
  Why
• 9:20
  am
• 9:20
  I
• 9:20
  like
• 9:20
  this?
• 9:21
  If
• 9:21
  you
• 9:21
  know
• 9:21
  what
• 9:21
  I
• 9:22
  mean?
• 9:22
  Everybody
• 9:22
  else
• 9:22
  is
• 9:22
  like
• 9:23
  that.
• 9:23
  But
• 9:24
  I
• 9:24
  will
• 9:24
  definitely
• 9:25
  say
• 9:25
  I
• 9:26
  know
• 9:26
  myself
• 9:26
  well
• 9:27
  enough.
• 9:27
  Like,
• 9:27
  I
• 9:27
  am
• 9:27
  an
• 9:28
  empath.
• 9:28
  I
• 9:30
  have
• 9:30
  big
• 9:31
  emotions.
• 9:31
  I
• 9:32
  have.
• 9:32
  I'm.
• 9:33
  Have
• 9:33
  a
• 9:33
  big
• 9:34
  heart.
• 9:34
  I
• 9:34
  will
• 9:34
  attribute
• 9:35
  that
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  my
• 9:36
  mother,
• 9:36
  my
• 9:37
  adopted
• 9:37
  mother.
• 9:38
  I
• 9:38
  just,
• 9:38
  you
• 9:39
  know,
• 9:39
  nature
• 9:39
  versus
• 9:39
  nurture.
• 9:40
  I
• 9:40
  learned
• 9:40
  the
• 9:40
  core
• 9:41
  values
• 9:41
  from
• 9:41
  her.
• 9:42
  And
• 9:43
  unfortunately,
• 9:44
  of
• 9:44
  course,
• 9:44
  I
• 9:44
  feel
• 9:44
  like
• 9:44
  everybody
• 9:46
  in
• 9:46
  their
• 9:46
  life,
• 9:46
  if
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  have
• 9:47
  made
• 9:48
  it
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  a
• 9:48
  certain
• 9:48
  point
• 9:48
  in
• 9:48
  your
• 9:48
  life,
• 9:49
  have
• 9:49
  been
• 9:50
  hurt
• 9:51
  by
• 9:51
  other
• 9:51
  people,
• 9:52
  situations.
• 9:54
  I'm
• 9:54
  thinking
• 9:55
  of
• 9:55
  my
• 9:55
  adopted
• 9:55
  mother.
• 9:56
  She
• 9:56
  passed
• 9:56
  away
• 9:57
  when
• 9:57
  I
• 9:57
  was
• 9:57
  in
• 9:57
  my
• 9:57
  early
• 9:58
  20s.
• 9:58
  So
• 9:59
  that
• 9:59
  grief,
• 10:00
  when
• 10:01
  I
• 10:01
  tell
• 10:01
  you,
• 10:01
  like,
• 10:02
  hurt.
• 10:03
  I
• 10:04
  don't
• 10:04
  think
• 10:04
  I'm.
• 10:05
  I
• 10:05
  mean,
• 10:05
  I'm.
• 10:06
  You're
• 10:06
  never
• 10:06
  over
• 10:06
  grief.
• 10:07
  Grief
• 10:07
  is
• 10:07
  something
• 10:07
  that
• 10:08
  carries
• 10:08
  with
• 10:08
  you
• 10:09
  and
• 10:09
  it's
• 10:09
  a
• 10:09
  process
• 10:09
  and
• 10:10
  it
• 10:10
  will
• 10:10
  never
• 10:10
  be
• 10:10
  done.
• 10:11
  But
• 10:11
  that,
• 10:13
  like,
• 10:13
  wound.
• 10:13
  Because,
• 10:14
  you
• 10:14
  know,
• 10:14
  if
• 10:14
  you
• 10:14
  think
• 10:15
  about
• 10:15
  it,
• 10:15
  and
• 10:15
  I
• 10:15
  didn't
• 10:16
  even
• 10:16
  think
• 10:16
  about
• 10:16
  this
• 10:16
  one.
• 10:17
  And
• 10:17
  it
• 10:17
  taught
• 10:17
  me.
• 10:18
  My
• 10:18
  program
• 10:18
  taught
• 10:19
  me
• 10:19
  this.
• 10:20
  I've
• 10:20
  lost
• 10:20
  two
• 10:21
  mothers
• 10:21
  in
• 10:21
  my
• 10:21
  life.
• 10:22
  My.
• 10:22
  My
• 10:22
  birth
• 10:23
  mother
• 10:23
  and
• 10:24
  my
• 10:24
  adopted
• 10:24
  mother.
• 10:25
  So
• 10:25
  when
• 10:26
  my
• 10:26
  adopted
• 10:27
  mother
• 10:28
  passed
• 10:28
  away,
• 10:29
  it
• 10:29
  hit
• 10:30
  me,
• 10:31
  like,
• 10:32
  so
• 10:32
  hard,
• 10:33
  like,
• 10:34
  fell
• 10:34
  into
• 10:34
  a
• 10:35
  deep,
• 10:35
  deep,
• 10:36
  deep
• 10:36
  depression,
• 10:37
  like,
• 10:38
  major
• 10:38
  depressive
• 10:39
  disorder,
• 10:40
  like,
• 10:40
  depression.
• 10:41
  And
• 10:41
  I
• 10:42
  was
• 10:42
  like,
• 10:42
  what
• 10:42
  is
• 10:43
  going
• 10:43
  on?
• 10:43
  But,
• 10:43
  like,
• 10:43
  that
• 10:44
  was
• 10:44
  my
• 10:44
  body
• 10:45
  telling
• 10:45
  me,
• 10:45
  like,
• 10:46
  this
• 10:47
  is
• 10:47
  a
• 10:47
  huge.
• 10:47
  Like,
• 10:48
  it
• 10:48
  was
• 10:48
  almost
• 10:48
  like,
• 10:48
  you
• 10:48
  know,
• 10:49
  like
• 10:49
  putting
• 10:49
  salt
• 10:50
  over
• 10:50
  a
• 10:50
  trauma,
• 10:51
  A
• 10:51
  core
• 10:52
  wound,
• 10:52
  because
• 10:53
  I
• 10:53
  have
• 10:53
  a
• 10:53
  core
• 10:54
  abandonment
• 10:55
  wound.
• 10:55
  And
• 10:55
  even
• 10:55
  though
• 10:56
  my
• 10:56
  mother,
• 10:57
  of
• 10:57
  course,
• 10:57
  like,
• 10:57
  it
• 10:57
  wasn't.
• 10:58
  She
• 10:58
  passed
• 10:58
  away
• 10:58
  out
• 10:59
  of
• 10:59
  circumstance.
• 10:59
  It
• 11:00
  wasn't
• 11:00
  like,
• 11:00
  you
• 11:00
  know,
• 11:01
  she
• 11:01
  didn't
• 11:02
  willingly
• 11:02
  go
• 11:03
  out
• 11:03
  of
• 11:03
  this
• 11:03
  world,
• 11:04
  but
• 11:04
  that
• 11:05
  really.
• 11:05
  And
• 11:05
  that's
• 11:05
  when
• 11:06
  I
• 11:06
  was
• 11:06
  like,
• 11:06
  whoa.
• 11:07
  Like,
• 11:07
  and
• 11:08
  unfortunately
• 11:08
  and
• 11:09
  relationally,
• 11:09
  because
• 11:10
  as
• 11:10
  marriage
• 11:10
  and
• 11:10
  family
• 11:11
  therapists,
• 11:11
  we
• 11:11
  are
• 11:11
  relational
• 11:12
  thinker,
• 11:12
  relational
• 11:13
  thinkers,
• 11:14
  and
• 11:14
  relational
• 11:14
  therapists
• 11:16
  in
• 11:16
  relationships
• 11:17
  with
• 11:17
  friendships,
• 11:18
  romantic
• 11:18
  relationships.
• 11:20
  I
• 11:20
  have
• 11:20
  been
• 11:20
  unfortunately,
• 11:21
  like,
• 11:22
  I
• 11:22
  feel
• 11:23
  like
• 11:23
  taken
• 11:23
  advantage
• 11:24
  of
• 11:24
  or
• 11:24
  not
• 11:25
  seen
• 11:25
  or,
• 11:26
  you
• 11:26
  know,
• 11:26
  not
• 11:27
  valued.
• 11:27
  And
• 11:27
  I'm
• 11:28
  like,
• 11:28
  though,
• 11:28
  and
• 11:29
  those
• 11:29
  wounds
• 11:29
  run
• 11:29
  deep,
• 11:30
  as
• 11:30
  you
• 11:30
  said.
• 11:31
  They're,
• 11:31
  they're
• 11:31
  self,
• 11:32
  you
• 11:32
  know,
• 11:32
  they're
• 11:33
  so
• 11:33
  I,
• 11:33
  you
• 11:33
  know,
• 11:33
  I
• 11:33
  don't
• 11:34
  want.
• 11:34
  I'm
• 11:34
  done
• 11:35
  self
• 11:35
  abandoning.
• 11:36
  I
• 11:36
  did
• 11:36
  that.
• 11:37
  No
• 11:37
  more
• 11:39
  because,
• 11:39
  you
• 11:39
  know,
• 11:39
  I
• 11:40
  really
• 11:40
  had
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  rebuild
• 11:42
  my
• 11:42
  identity
• 11:43
  and
• 11:43
  my
• 11:43
  relationship
• 11:44
  with
• 11:44
  myself
• 11:45
  from
• 11:45
  going
• 11:45
  through
• 11:46
  some,
• 11:46
  you
• 11:46
  know,
• 11:47
  some
• 11:47
  rocky
• 11:47
  friendships.
• 11:48
  Absolutely.
• 11:49
  Talk
• 11:49
  about
• 11:49
  how
• 11:50
  tell
• 11:50
  the
• 11:50
  audience,
• 11:51
  because
• 11:51
  I
• 11:51
  know
• 11:51
  a
• 11:51
  lot
• 11:52
  of
• 11:52
  people
• 11:52
  are
• 11:52
  going,
• 11:52
  oh,
• 11:52
  wait,
• 11:53
  self
• 11:53
  abandonment.
• 11:53
  I'd
• 11:54
  heard
• 11:54
  that
• 11:54
  term.
• 11:55
  You
• 11:55
  know,
• 11:55
  a
• 11:55
  lot
• 11:55
  of
• 11:55
  the
• 11:55
  people
• 11:56
  that
• 11:56
  listen
• 11:56
  to
• 11:56
  podcasts,
• 11:57
  it's
• 11:57
  like
• 11:57
  all
• 11:57
  of
• 11:57
  a
• 11:57
  sudden
• 11:58
  they
• 11:59
  become
• 11:59
  acutely
• 11:59
  aware
• 12:00
  and
• 12:01
  I
• 12:01
  don't
• 12:01
  ever
• 12:01
  want
• 12:01
  to
• 12:02
  leave
• 12:02
  anybody
• 12:02
  hanging.
• 12:03
  Yeah,
• 12:03
  yeah,
• 12:03
  yeah.
• 12:04
  So
• 12:05
  what
• 12:05
  are
• 12:05
  some
• 12:05
  of
• 12:05
  the
• 12:05
  things
• 12:06
  that
• 12:06
  you
• 12:06
  did
• 12:07
  to
• 12:08
  stop
• 12:08
  the
• 12:09
  self
• 12:09
  abandonment?
• 12:10
  I
• 12:10
  think
• 12:11
  so.
• 12:12
  I
• 12:12
  think
• 12:12
  the
• 12:12
  first
• 12:12
  one
• 12:13
  is
• 12:13
  that
• 12:13
  like,
• 12:14
  I
• 12:14
  will.
• 12:14
  I.
• 12:15
  I
• 12:15
  used,
• 12:15
  I
• 12:15
  work
• 12:16
  with
• 12:16
  this
• 12:16
  with
• 12:16
  my
• 12:16
  clients.
• 12:16
  It's
• 12:17
  the
• 12:17
  first
• 12:17
  thing
• 12:17
  I
• 12:18
  do.
• 12:18
  It's
• 12:19
  in
• 12:20
  order
• 12:20
  to
• 12:20
  know
• 12:20
  yourself,
• 12:21
  abandoning
• 12:21
  yourself,
• 12:22
  you
• 12:22
  have
• 12:22
  to
• 12:23
  be
• 12:23
  self
• 12:23
  aware.
• 12:25
  So
• 12:25
  for
• 12:25
  me,
• 12:26
  it's
• 12:26
  like,
• 12:27
  I,
• 12:28
  I'm
• 12:29
  not
• 12:29
  a
• 12:29
  quid
• 12:29
  pro
• 12:30
  quo
• 12:30
  person.
• 12:30
  Like,
• 12:31
  I'm
• 12:31
  not,
• 12:31
  like,
• 12:32
  I
• 12:32
  don't
• 12:32
  sit
• 12:32
  here
• 12:32
  and
• 12:32
  keep
• 12:33
  tallies
• 12:33
  of
• 12:33
  like,
• 12:34
  you
• 12:34
  know,
• 12:34
  Tammy
• 12:35
  did
• 12:35
  this
• 12:35
  for
• 12:35
  me
• 12:35
  and
• 12:35
  I
• 12:36
  did
• 12:36
  this
• 12:36
  for
• 12:36
  her.
• 12:36
  Like,
• 12:37
  but
• 12:37
  when
• 12:37
  I
• 12:38
  feel.
• 12:39
  It's
• 12:39
  like
• 12:39
  a
• 12:39
  feeling
• 12:40
  I
• 12:40
  get
• 12:40
  that
• 12:41
  kind
• 12:41
  of
• 12:41
  like,
• 12:41
  I'm
• 12:41
  like,
• 12:41
  Danielle,
• 12:42
  like,
• 12:42
  you're
• 12:42
  not
• 12:42
  being
• 12:43
  true
• 12:43
  to
• 12:43
  yourself
• 12:44
  right
• 12:44
  now.
• 12:44
  Like,
• 12:45
  I'm
• 12:45
  doing
• 12:45
  a
• 12:46
  behavior,
• 12:46
  I'm
• 12:47
  doing
• 12:47
  something
• 12:47
  or
• 12:47
  I'm
• 12:47
  overextending
• 12:48
  myself.
• 12:49
  And
• 12:50
  actually
• 12:50
  this
• 12:50
  happened
• 12:51
  to
• 12:51
  me
• 12:51
  yesterday.
• 12:51
  Like,
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  was
• 12:53
  exhausted
• 12:54
  yesterday.
• 12:54
  Like,
• 12:55
  physically
• 12:56
  exhausted.
• 12:57
  Like,
• 12:57
  I
• 12:57
  was
• 12:57
  like,
• 12:58
  I
• 12:59
  actually,
• 12:59
  like,
• 12:59
  I
• 12:59
  hate
• 12:59
  to
• 13:00
  say
• 13:00
  this,
• 13:00
  like,
• 13:00
  I
• 13:00
  like
• 13:00
  gotten
• 13:01
  other
• 13:01
  stressors
• 13:02
  in
• 13:02
  life
• 13:02
  going
• 13:02
  on.
• 13:03
  But
• 13:03
  like,
• 13:03
  I
• 13:04
  think
• 13:04
  I,
• 13:04
  like,
• 13:04
  I
• 13:05
  was
• 13:05
  my.
• 13:05
  Because
• 13:06
  I'm
• 13:07
  having
• 13:07
  car
• 13:07
  issues
• 13:07
  right
• 13:08
  now
• 13:08
  and
• 13:08
  my
• 13:08
  dad
• 13:09
  was
• 13:09
  driving
• 13:09
  me
• 13:10
  to
• 13:10
  class
• 13:10
  because,
• 13:11
  you
• 13:11
  know,
• 13:11
  I
• 13:11
  don't
• 13:11
  have
• 13:11
  a
• 13:11
  car.
• 13:12
  And
• 13:12
  I
• 13:12
  was
• 13:12
  literally
• 13:13
  falling
• 13:13
  asleep
• 13:13
  in
• 13:14
  the
• 13:14
  car.
• 13:14
  Like,
• 13:14
  that's
• 13:15
  like,
• 13:15
  like
• 13:15
  at
• 13:15
  like
• 13:15
  4:30.
• 13:16
  Like,
• 13:17
  I
• 13:17
  was
• 13:17
  like,
• 13:17
  that's
• 13:18
  how
• 13:18
  tired
• 13:18
  I
• 13:18
  was.
• 13:18
  But
• 13:19
  I
• 13:20
  think
• 13:20
  self
• 13:20
  abandonment
• 13:21
  is.
• 13:22
  And
• 13:22
  it's
• 13:22
  I
• 13:22
  think
• 13:22
  it's
• 13:23
  different
• 13:23
  for
• 13:23
  everybody.
• 13:23
  I
• 13:23
  mean
• 13:24
  in
• 13:24
  general
• 13:24
  it's
• 13:24
  when
• 13:25
  you're
• 13:25
  putting
• 13:26
  off
• 13:26
  your
• 13:26
  own
• 13:26
  needs
• 13:27
  and
• 13:28
  your
• 13:28
  own,
• 13:28
  you
• 13:29
  know,
• 13:30
  you
• 13:30
  know,
• 13:31
  internal,
• 13:32
  you
• 13:33
  know,
• 13:33
  self
• 13:34
  for
• 13:34
  external
• 13:35
  people
• 13:36
  or
• 13:36
  external
• 13:36
  validation.
• 13:37
  But
• 13:37
  when
• 13:37
  you
• 13:37
  truly
• 13:38
  abandon
• 13:38
  yourself
• 13:38
  and
• 13:39
  I
• 13:39
  think
• 13:39
  it's
• 13:39
  when
• 13:40
  for
• 13:40
  me
• 13:40
  it
• 13:40
  always
• 13:41
  goes
• 13:41
  down
• 13:41
  to
• 13:41
  core
• 13:42
  values.
• 13:42
  So
• 13:42
  it's
• 13:43
  like
• 13:43
  I,
• 13:44
  when
• 13:44
  I,
• 13:44
  I
• 13:45
  know
• 13:45
  I'm
• 13:45
  abandoning
• 13:45
  myself
• 13:46
  when
• 13:46
  I'm
• 13:46
  not
• 13:46
  true
• 13:47
  to
• 13:47
  my
• 13:47
  values
• 13:47
  and,
• 13:48
  or
• 13:48
  if
• 13:49
  somebody
• 13:50
  does
• 13:50
  something
• 13:50
  that
• 13:51
  is,
• 13:52
  you
• 13:52
  know,
• 13:52
  I
• 13:52
  have
• 13:52
  to
• 13:53
  look
• 13:53
  at
• 13:53
  myself
• 13:53
  and
• 13:54
  say,
• 13:54
  hey,
• 13:54
  this
• 13:55
  doesn't
• 13:55
  feel
• 13:55
  right.
• 13:56
  Like
• 13:56
  you,
• 13:57
  you
• 13:57
  know,
• 13:57
  like
• 13:57
  I,
• 13:58
  I
• 13:58
  don't
• 13:58
  want
• 13:58
  to.
• 13:59
  Like
• 13:59
  I,
• 13:59
  you
• 13:59
  know,
• 14:00
  and
• 14:00
  then,
• 14:00
  then
• 14:00
  you
• 14:01
  go
• 14:01
  through
• 14:01
  the
• 14:01
  process
• 14:01
  of,
• 14:01
  you
• 14:02
  know,
• 14:02
  thinking
• 14:02
  about
• 14:02
  it
• 14:02
  and
• 14:03
  you
• 14:03
  know,
• 14:04
  if
• 14:04
  you
• 14:04
  want
• 14:04
  to
• 14:04
  go
• 14:04
  through
• 14:04
  with
• 14:05
  it.
• 14:05
  But
• 14:05
  I
• 14:06
  think
• 14:06
  it's
• 14:06
  just
• 14:06
  any
• 14:07
  time
• 14:07
  that
• 14:07
  you
• 14:07
  don't
• 14:08
  feel
• 14:08
  you're
• 14:09
  making
• 14:09
  an
• 14:09
  action,
• 14:09
  a
• 14:10
  thought,
• 14:10
  anything
• 14:11
  that
• 14:11
  doesn't
• 14:11
  feel
• 14:11
  true
• 14:12
  to
• 14:12
  yourself
• 14:12
  because
• 14:13
  something
• 14:13
  external
• 14:14
  is
• 14:14
  impacting
• 14:15
  you.
• 14:16
  Okay.
• 14:16
  So
• 14:17
  I
• 14:17
  mean
• 14:17
  in
• 14:17
  general
• 14:17
  it's
• 14:18
  just
• 14:18
  if
• 14:18
  you
• 14:18
  question
• 14:18
  it,
• 14:19
  if,
• 14:19
  if
• 14:19
  you
• 14:19
  have
• 14:20
  that
• 14:20
  feeling,
• 14:20
  because
• 14:20
  you're
• 14:21
  going
• 14:21
  to
• 14:21
  do
• 14:21
  that
• 14:21
  if
• 14:21
  somebody,
• 14:23
  you
• 14:23
  know,
• 14:23
  if
• 14:23
  you're
• 14:23
  on
• 14:24
  the
• 14:24
  way,
• 14:24
  let's
• 14:25
  say
• 14:25
  and
• 14:25
  this
• 14:25
  happens,
• 14:25
  has
• 14:26
  happened
• 14:26
  to
• 14:26
  me,
• 14:26
  if
• 14:26
  I'm
• 14:27
  on
• 14:27
  the
• 14:27
  way
• 14:27
  to
• 14:27
  go
• 14:28
  walk
• 14:28
  on
• 14:28
  the
• 14:28
  beach
• 14:28
  and
• 14:29
  I
• 14:29
  just
• 14:29
  want
• 14:29
  a
• 14:30
  little
• 14:30
  bit
• 14:30
  of
• 14:30
  quiet
• 14:31
  time
• 14:31
  and
• 14:31
  somebody
• 14:31
  calls
• 14:32
  me
• 14:32
  and
• 14:32
  says,
• 14:32
  hey,
• 14:32
  can
• 14:32
  you
• 14:33
  work?
• 14:33
  And
• 14:33
  I'm
• 14:33
  like,
• 14:33
  oh,
• 14:33
  I
• 14:34
  don't
• 14:34
  want
• 14:34
  to
• 14:34
  work.
• 14:35
  But
• 14:35
  then
• 14:35
  I'm
• 14:35
  like,
• 14:36
  oh
• 14:36
  yeah,
• 14:36
  you
• 14:37
  know,
• 14:37
  and
• 14:37
  I
• 14:37
  rationalize
• 14:38
  it
• 14:38
  and
• 14:38
  I
• 14:38
  stop
• 14:38
  what
• 14:39
  I'm
• 14:39
  doing
• 14:39
  and
• 14:39
  I
• 14:39
  go
• 14:39
  to
• 14:40
  work
• 14:40
  and
• 14:40
  I'm
• 14:40
  miserable
• 14:41
  about
• 14:41
  it.
• 14:41
  And
• 14:41
  I,
• 14:42
  you
• 14:42
  know,
• 14:42
  of
• 14:42
  course
• 14:42
  it's
• 14:43
  always
• 14:43
  nice
• 14:43
  to
• 14:43
  make
• 14:43
  money
• 14:44
  because
• 14:44
  you're
• 14:44
  working,
• 14:44
  but
• 14:45
  it's
• 14:45
  like,
• 14:45
  why
• 14:46
  did
• 14:46
  I
• 14:46
  do
• 14:46
  that?
• 14:47
  Why
• 14:47
  would
• 14:48
  I
• 14:48
  do
• 14:48
  that?
• 14:48
  Like
• 14:48
  I
• 14:49
  was
• 14:49
  on
• 14:49
  the
• 14:49
  way
• 14:49
  to
• 14:49
  enjoy
• 14:50
  myself,
• 14:50
  to
• 14:51
  do
• 14:51
  something
• 14:51
  for
• 14:51
  me.
• 14:52
  And,
• 14:53
  and
• 14:53
  that
• 14:53
  goes
• 14:54
  back
• 14:54
  to
• 14:54
  a
• 14:54
  lot
• 14:54
  of
• 14:55
  times
• 14:55
  that
• 14:55
  goes
• 14:55
  back
• 14:55
  to
• 14:56
  that
• 14:56
  people
• 14:56
  pleasing
• 14:57
  and
• 14:57
  that,
• 14:58
  you
• 14:58
  know,
• 14:59
  but
• 14:59
  that's,
• 15:00
  we
• 15:00
  all
• 15:00
  do
• 15:00
  it.
• 15:01
  But
• 15:01
  it's
• 15:01
  a
• 15:01
  matter
• 15:02
  of
• 15:02
  being
• 15:02
  able
• 15:03
  to
• 15:03
  nip
• 15:03
  it
• 15:03
  quick
• 15:04
  enough
• 15:04
  that
• 15:04
  you,
• 15:04
  that
• 15:05
  thought
• 15:05
  and
• 15:05
  you
• 15:05
  feel
• 15:06
  that
• 15:06
  feeling
• 15:06
  like,
• 15:07
  oh,
• 15:07
  I
• 15:07
  really
• 15:07
  don't
• 15:08
  want
• 15:08
  to
• 15:08
  do
• 15:08
  this.
• 15:09
  You
• 15:09
  don't,
• 15:09
  you
• 15:09
  know,
• 15:09
  and
• 15:10
  I
• 15:10
  tell
• 15:10
  people,
• 15:10
  you
• 15:10
  are
• 15:10
  a
• 15:11
  grown
• 15:11
  ass
• 15:11
  woman.
• 15:11
  You
• 15:12
  do
• 15:12
  not
• 15:12
  have
• 15:12
  to
• 15:13
  explain
• 15:13
  to
• 15:13
  anybody
• 15:14
  why
• 15:15
  your
• 15:15
  decisions
• 15:15
  are
• 15:16
  your
• 15:16
  decisions.
• 15:16
  Yeah,
• 15:18
  absolutely.
• 15:18
  And
• 15:18
  I
• 15:19
  think,
• 15:19
  I
• 15:19
  think
• 15:19
  the
• 15:19
  thing
• 15:19
  is
• 15:20
  too
• 15:20
  is
• 15:20
  like
• 15:20
  you
• 15:21
  make
• 15:21
  a
• 15:21
  great
• 15:21
  point.
• 15:21
  Like
• 15:22
  it
• 15:22
  goes
• 15:22
  back
• 15:22
  to
• 15:23
  like
• 15:23
  impact.
• 15:23
  So
• 15:24
  I
• 15:24
  always
• 15:24
  say
• 15:24
  like
• 15:24
  what's
• 15:25
  so
• 15:25
  like
• 15:25
  if
• 15:25
  you're
• 15:26
  in
• 15:26
  your
• 15:26
  situation,
• 15:26
  like
• 15:27
  that
• 15:27
  happens
• 15:27
  to
• 15:28
  me
• 15:28
  too.
• 15:28
  Like,
• 15:28
  sometimes
• 15:28
  I'll
• 15:29
  be
• 15:29
  like,
• 15:29
  oh,
• 15:29
  I
• 15:29
  want
• 15:29
  to
• 15:30
  do
• 15:30
  a
• 15:30
  little
• 15:30
  thing.
• 15:31
  But
• 15:31
  yes,
• 15:31
  some.
• 15:31
  A
• 15:31
  client
• 15:32
  will
• 15:32
  call
• 15:32
  or
• 15:33
  I'm
• 15:33
  really
• 15:34
  feeling
• 15:34
  really
• 15:34
  creative
• 15:35
  at
• 15:35
  the
• 15:35
  moment,
• 15:36
  and
• 15:36
  I
• 15:37
  think
• 15:37
  it's
• 15:37
  okay.
• 15:37
  I
• 15:37
  think
• 15:37
  it's
• 15:38
  okay.
• 15:38
  I
• 15:38
  think
• 15:38
  there's
• 15:39
  a
• 15:39
  scale
• 15:39
  of
• 15:40
  like,
• 15:40
  self
• 15:40
  abandonment,
• 15:41
  like
• 15:41
  those
• 15:41
  little
• 15:41
  things,
• 15:42
  like,
• 15:42
  you
• 15:42
  know
• 15:42
  what
• 15:42
  I
• 15:42
  mean?
• 15:43
  If
• 15:43
  this
• 15:43
  doesn't
• 15:43
  have
• 15:44
  a
• 15:44
  huge
• 15:44
  impact
• 15:44
  on
• 15:45
  you,
• 15:46
  you
• 15:46
  know.
• 15:46
  Yeah.
• 15:47
  You
• 15:47
  can
• 15:47
  move
• 15:47
  through
• 15:47
  them,
• 15:48
  but
• 15:48
  keep
• 15:49
  in
• 15:49
  mind
• 15:49
  that
• 15:49
  they
• 15:49
  do
• 15:50
  compound.
• 15:51
  So
• 15:51
  if
• 15:51
  you
• 15:51
  keep
• 15:51
  on
• 15:52
  doing
• 15:52
  those
• 15:52
  little
• 15:52
  things,
• 15:53
  it
• 15:53
  will,
• 15:53
  you
• 15:54
  know,
• 15:54
  go.
• 15:55
  Come
• 15:55
  and
• 15:55
  become
• 15:55
  something
• 15:56
  bigger
• 15:56
  like
• 15:56
  Snowball.
• 15:57
  But
• 15:58
  it
• 15:58
  something
• 15:58
  that,
• 15:59
  like,
• 15:59
  you
• 15:59
  know,
• 15:59
  you
• 15:59
  mentioned
• 16:00
  the
• 16:00
  beach.
• 16:00
  Like,
• 16:00
  the
• 16:00
  beach
• 16:01
  is
• 16:01
  like
• 16:01
  my
• 16:01
  sacred
• 16:02
  space.
• 16:03
  And
• 16:03
  if
• 16:04
  you
• 16:04
  mess
• 16:04
  up,
• 16:05
  like
• 16:05
  my
• 16:05
  beach
• 16:05
  time,
• 16:06
  like
• 16:06
  that.
• 16:06
  But
• 16:06
  that's
• 16:07
  me.
• 16:07
  You
• 16:07
  know
• 16:07
  what
• 16:07
  I
• 16:07
  mean?
• 16:08
  Like,
• 16:08
  so
• 16:09
  that
• 16:09
  to
• 16:09
  me
• 16:09
  is
• 16:10
  a
• 16:10
  deep.
• 16:10
  Like
• 16:11
  a
• 16:11
  deep
• 16:11
  thing.
• 16:12
  So
• 16:13
  I
• 16:13
  will
• 16:13
  not.
• 16:14
  I
• 16:14
  will
• 16:14
  set
• 16:14
  a
• 16:15
  boundary
• 16:15
  if
• 16:16
  it.
• 16:16
  Because
• 16:16
  that
• 16:16
  for
• 16:17
  me
• 16:17
  is,
• 16:17
  you
• 16:17
  know,
• 16:17
  abandoning
• 16:18
  something
• 16:18
  that
• 16:18
  I
• 16:19
  need
• 16:19
  in
• 16:19
  my
• 16:19
  life.
• 16:20
  I
• 16:20
  need
• 16:20
  that
• 16:21
  piece.
• 16:21
  I
• 16:21
  need
• 16:21
  that.
• 16:22
  So
• 16:22
  I
• 16:23
  think
• 16:23
  it's
• 16:23
  very.
• 16:23
  It's
• 16:23
  very
• 16:24
  situational,
• 16:24
  but
• 16:25
  it
• 16:25
  comes
• 16:25
  down
• 16:25
  to,
• 16:25
  you
• 16:26
  know,
• 16:26
  I
• 16:26
  think,
• 16:26
  like,
• 16:26
  identity
• 16:27
  and
• 16:28
  what
• 16:28
  you
• 16:28
  value
• 16:29
  because,
• 16:30
  you
• 16:30
  know,
• 16:31
  you
• 16:31
  know,
• 16:32
  of
• 16:32
  course
• 16:32
  life
• 16:33
  is
• 16:33
  gonna
• 16:33
  happen.
• 16:34
  You
• 16:34
  know
• 16:34
  what
• 16:34
  I
• 16:34
  mean?
• 16:34
  Like,
• 16:35
  we
• 16:35
  are
• 16:35
  adults.
• 16:36
  We're
• 16:36
  adults.
• 16:36
  We
• 16:36
  have
• 16:37
  responsibilities.
• 16:38
  Like.
• 16:39
  Like,
• 16:39
  for
• 16:39
  instance,
• 16:39
  like,
• 16:39
  you
• 16:39
  know
• 16:39
  what
• 16:40
  I
• 16:40
  like,
• 16:40
  it's
• 16:40
  just
• 16:40
  like.
• 16:41
  And
• 16:41
  people
• 16:41
  that
• 16:41
  have
• 16:41
  children,
• 16:42
  of
• 16:42
  course,
• 16:43
  like,
• 16:43
  I'm
• 16:43
  not
• 16:43
  saying,
• 16:44
  you
• 16:44
  know,
• 16:44
  don't,
• 16:45
  you
• 16:45
  know,
• 16:45
  don't
• 16:45
  do
• 16:45
  what
• 16:46
  you're.
• 16:46
  You
• 16:46
  know,
• 16:47
  I
• 16:47
  get
• 16:47
  it.
• 16:47
  When
• 16:47
  your
• 16:47
  mother
• 16:48
  is,
• 16:48
  you
• 16:48
  know,
• 16:48
  that's
• 16:48
  kind
• 16:49
  of
• 16:49
  the.
• 16:49
  The
• 16:49
  nature
• 16:50
  of
• 16:50
  being
• 16:50
  a
• 16:50
  mom
• 16:51
  is
• 16:51
  unfortunately
• 16:52
  putting
• 16:52
  sometimes
• 16:52
  your
• 16:53
  needs
• 16:53
  on
• 16:53
  the
• 16:53
  back
• 16:53
  burner
• 16:54
  because
• 16:54
  your
• 16:54
  kids
• 16:54
  need
• 16:55
  you.
• 16:55
  Like,
• 16:55
  that's
• 16:55
  not
• 16:56
  self
• 16:56
  abandonment,
• 16:57
  but
• 16:57
  it.
• 16:57
  When
• 16:57
  I
• 16:58
  think
• 16:58
  when
• 16:58
  you
• 16:58
  start
• 16:58
  to
• 16:58
  feel
• 16:59
  that,
• 16:59
  like,
• 17:00
  almost
• 17:00
  it's
• 17:00
  like.
• 17:00
  I
• 17:01
  call
• 17:01
  it,
• 17:01
  like,
• 17:01
  it's
• 17:02
  almost
• 17:02
  like
• 17:02
  inner.
• 17:02
  For
• 17:03
  me,
• 17:03
  it
• 17:03
  comes
• 17:03
  up
• 17:03
  as
• 17:03
  like
• 17:04
  inner
• 17:04
  resentment.
• 17:05
  It's
• 17:05
  like,
• 17:05
  oh,
• 17:06
  like,
• 17:06
  why
• 17:06
  did
• 17:06
  I
• 17:06
  do
• 17:07
  that?
• 17:08
  Well,
• 17:08
  it
• 17:08
  goes.
• 17:08
  Yeah,
• 17:08
  it
• 17:09
  goes
• 17:09
  back
• 17:09
  to
• 17:09
  the
• 17:09
  guilt.
• 17:10
  Like,
• 17:10
  it
• 17:10
  goes
• 17:10
  bad.
• 17:10
  You're
• 17:11
  feeling
• 17:11
  guilty
• 17:11
  about
• 17:12
  something,
• 17:12
  and
• 17:12
  guilt
• 17:13
  and
• 17:13
  shame
• 17:13
  are
• 17:13
  like
• 17:13
  the.
• 17:14
  At
• 17:14
  the
• 17:14
  core.
• 17:15
  Every
• 17:16
  wound
• 17:16
  I
• 17:16
  ple.
• 17:16
  I
• 17:17
  believe.
• 17:17
  Oh,
• 17:17
  yeah.
• 17:20
  Yep.
• 17:21
  Yeah.
• 17:21
  You
• 17:22
  know,
• 17:22
  so
• 17:23
  you
• 17:23
  keep
• 17:23
  mentioning
• 17:24
  core
• 17:24
  values.
• 17:25
  So
• 17:25
  if
• 17:25
  you
• 17:25
  had
• 17:25
  to
• 17:26
  tell
• 17:26
  someone.
• 17:28
  Okay,
• 17:28
  so
• 17:28
  I'm
• 17:29
  hypothetically
• 17:30
  just
• 17:30
  walking
• 17:30
  into
• 17:30
  therapy
• 17:31
  for
• 17:31
  the
• 17:31
  first
• 17:32
  time,
• 17:32
  and.
• 17:32
  And
• 17:33
  you
• 17:33
  and
• 17:33
  Danielle
• 17:34
  says
• 17:34
  to
• 17:34
  me,
• 17:35
  I
• 17:35
  mean,
• 17:35
  this
• 17:35
  is
• 17:36
  hypothetical
• 17:36
  and
• 17:36
  actually
• 17:36
  this
• 17:37
  is
• 17:37
  happening,
• 17:37
  and
• 17:38
  somebody,
• 17:38
  you
• 17:39
  know,
• 17:39
  like,
• 17:39
  like,
• 17:39
  well,
• 17:40
  what
• 17:40
  do
• 17:40
  you
• 17:40
  care
• 17:40
  about?
• 17:40
  What
• 17:41
  are
• 17:41
  your
• 17:41
  core
• 17:41
  values?
• 17:42
  Like,
• 17:42
  who
• 17:42
  is
• 17:42
  Tammy?
• 17:43
  What
• 17:43
  if
• 17:44
  hypothetically,
• 17:45
  I
• 17:45
  say
• 17:45
  I
• 17:46
  have
• 17:46
  no
• 17:46
  idea,
• 17:47
  which
• 17:47
  is
• 17:47
  where.
• 17:47
  Which
• 17:48
  is
• 17:48
  very,
• 17:48
  very,
• 17:49
  very
• 17:49
  common
• 17:49
  for
• 17:50
  people
• 17:50
  that
• 17:50
  have
• 17:50
  gone
• 17:51
  through
• 17:52
  whole
• 17:53
  childhoods
• 17:53
  of
• 17:54
  self
• 17:54
  abandonment
• 17:55
  and.
• 17:55
  And
• 17:56
  just
• 17:56
  not
• 17:57
  knowing.
• 17:58
  Just
• 17:58
  basically
• 17:58
  being
• 17:59
  told
• 17:59
  who
• 17:59
  and
• 18:00
  what,
• 18:00
  where
• 18:00
  and
• 18:00
  why.
• 18:01
  How
• 18:01
  do
• 18:02
  you
• 18:02
  help
• 18:02
  them
• 18:03
  kind
• 18:03
  of
• 18:03
  figure
• 18:03
  that
• 18:03
  out?
• 18:04
  Yeah,
• 18:05
  no,
• 18:05
  that's
• 18:05
  a
• 18:06
  great,
• 18:06
  great
• 18:07
  question.
• 18:07
  I
• 18:07
  think
• 18:08
  it
• 18:08
  starts.
• 18:08
  So
• 18:08
  I
• 18:09
  do
• 18:09
  a
• 18:09
  lot
• 18:09
  of
• 18:09
  self
• 18:10
  work
• 18:10
  with
• 18:11
  those
• 18:11
  people.
• 18:12
  I
• 18:12
  know.
• 18:12
  I
• 18:13
  believe
• 18:13
  we
• 18:13
  talked
• 18:13
  about
• 18:13
  this
• 18:14
  maybe
• 18:14
  on
• 18:14
  my
• 18:14
  podcast
• 18:15
  or
• 18:15
  not.
• 18:15
  I
• 18:16
  talk
• 18:16
  about
• 18:16
  it
• 18:16
  all
• 18:16
  the
• 18:16
  time
• 18:16
  because
• 18:17
  I
• 18:17
  love
• 18:17
  it.
• 18:18
  Especially
• 18:19
  with
• 18:19
  individuals
• 18:20
  with,
• 18:20
  you
• 18:21
  know,
• 18:21
  potential
• 18:22
  trauma
• 18:23
  or,
• 18:23
  you
• 18:23
  know,
• 18:24
  big
• 18:24
  T,
• 18:24
  little
• 18:25
  T.
• 18:25
  I
• 18:26
  do.
• 18:26
  I
• 18:26
  like
• 18:26
  to
• 18:27
  use
• 18:27
  internal
• 18:28
  family
• 18:28
  systems.
• 18:29
  So
• 18:30
  really
• 18:30
  figuring
• 18:31
  out
• 18:32
  which
• 18:32
  is
• 18:33
  for
• 18:33
  those
• 18:33
  of
• 18:33
  you
• 18:33
  who
• 18:33
  don't
• 18:34
  know
• 18:34
  on
• 18:34
  the
• 18:34
  call.
• 18:34
  Internal
• 18:35
  family
• 18:35
  systems
• 18:35
  is
• 18:35
  a
• 18:35
  model
• 18:36
  of
• 18:36
  therapy
• 18:36
  where
• 18:37
  you
• 18:37
  look
• 18:37
  at
• 18:37
  a
• 18:38
  person
• 18:39
  and
• 18:39
  you
• 18:39
  look
• 18:39
  at
• 18:39
  them
• 18:40
  like
• 18:40
  they're
• 18:40
  a
• 18:41
  system.
• 18:41
  So
• 18:42
  you
• 18:42
  look
• 18:42
  at
• 18:42
  them.
• 18:43
  You
• 18:43
  have
• 18:43
  a
• 18:43
  core
• 18:43
  self.
• 18:44
  You
• 18:45
  have
• 18:45
  your
• 18:45
  protective
• 18:46
  parts,
• 18:46
  which
• 18:47
  are
• 18:47
  managers
• 18:48
  and
• 18:48
  firefighters,
• 18:49
  which
• 18:49
  come
• 18:49
  out
• 18:49
  when
• 18:50
  like
• 18:50
  you're
• 18:50
  triggered.
• 18:51
  Or
• 18:52
  like
• 18:52
  for
• 18:52
  instance,
• 18:52
  a
• 18:53
  manager
• 18:53
  for
• 18:53
  me
• 18:54
  is
• 18:54
  anxiety.
• 18:55
  Like,
• 18:55
  it
• 18:55
  just
• 18:56
  is
• 18:56
  a
• 18:56
  feeling
• 18:57
  that
• 18:57
  comes
• 18:57
  out.
• 18:57
  If
• 18:57
  I
• 18:57
  feel
• 18:58
  a
• 18:58
  little
• 18:58
  threat
• 18:58
  or
• 18:59
  if
• 18:59
  I'm
• 18:59
  not
• 18:59
  comfortable,
• 19:00
  it
• 19:00
  comes
• 19:00
  out.
• 19:02
  A
• 19:02
  firefighter
• 19:03
  is
• 19:03
  kind
• 19:03
  of
• 19:03
  like
• 19:03
  a
• 19:03
  first
• 19:04
  responder.
• 19:04
  They
• 19:05
  come
• 19:05
  out
• 19:05
  like,
• 19:05
  you
• 19:05
  know,
• 19:06
  maybe
• 19:06
  it
• 19:06
  could
• 19:06
  be
• 19:06
  anger.
• 19:07
  It
• 19:07
  could
• 19:08
  be
• 19:08
  also
• 19:08
  like
• 19:09
  firefighters
• 19:10
  are
• 19:10
  like,
• 19:10
  are
• 19:11
  really
• 19:11
  bad
• 19:11
  coping
• 19:11
  mechanisms.
• 19:12
  Like
• 19:12
  I
• 19:12
  know
• 19:12
  you
• 19:13
  mentioned,
• 19:13
  you
• 19:13
  obviously
• 19:13
  are
• 19:14
  for
• 19:14
  a
• 19:14
  firefighter,
• 19:15
  for
• 19:15
  your
• 19:15
  mom
• 19:15
  was
• 19:16
  alcohol,
• 19:16
  like
• 19:18
  drinking.
• 19:18
  You
• 19:18
  know
• 19:19
  what
• 19:19
  I
• 19:19
  mean?
• 19:19
  Like,
• 19:19
  when
• 19:19
  she
• 19:19
  was
• 19:20
  feeling
• 19:20
  a
• 19:20
  certain
• 19:20
  way
• 19:21
  and
• 19:22
  then
• 19:22
  you
• 19:22
  have
• 19:22
  your.
• 19:24
  Yeah,
• 19:25
  she
• 19:25
  was
• 19:25
  feeling
• 19:25
  alive.
• 19:26
  Yeah.
• 19:26
  Oh,
• 19:27
  geez.
• 19:27
  Oh,
• 19:27
  God.
• 19:28
  Yeah.
• 19:28
  So
• 19:28
  she
• 19:28
  would
• 19:28
  need
• 19:29
  a
• 19:29
  certain
• 19:29
  way.
• 19:31
  So
• 19:31
  I
• 19:31
  would.
• 19:31
  I
• 19:32
  try.
• 19:32
  So
• 19:32
  the
• 19:32
  exercise,
• 19:33
  I
• 19:33
  guess
• 19:33
  based.
• 19:33
  And
• 19:34
  then
• 19:34
  what
• 19:34
  I
• 19:34
  try
• 19:35
  to
• 19:35
  do
• 19:35
  there
• 19:35
  is
• 19:35
  because
• 19:36
  it.
• 19:36
  So
• 19:36
  we.
• 19:36
  We
• 19:37
  have
• 19:37
  you.
• 19:37
  And
• 19:38
  you
• 19:38
  made
• 19:38
  a
• 19:38
  great
• 19:38
  point.
• 19:38
  Because
• 19:39
  it.
• 19:39
  The
• 19:39
  people
• 19:40
  that
• 19:40
  come
• 19:40
  in
• 19:40
  like
• 19:41
  that,
• 19:42
  unfortunately,
• 19:44
  I.
• 19:44
  What
• 19:44
  I
• 19:45
  see
• 19:45
  is
• 19:45
  that
• 19:46
  their
• 19:46
  whole
• 19:46
  lives
• 19:47
  are
• 19:47
  protective
• 19:48
  parts.
• 19:49
  So.
• 19:49
  So
• 19:49
  I
• 19:49
  really
• 19:50
  try
• 19:50
  to
• 19:50
  peel
• 19:51
  back
• 19:51
  those
• 19:51
  layers
• 19:52
  to
• 19:52
  be
• 19:52
  like,
• 19:53
  when
• 19:53
  was
• 19:53
  the
• 19:53
  last
• 19:54
  time
• 19:54
  you
• 19:54
  felt
• 19:55
  like,
• 19:55
  calm
• 19:56
  there?
• 19:56
  Which
• 19:57
  is
• 19:57
  me.
• 19:57
  I
• 19:57
  have
• 19:58
  like
• 19:58
  a.
• 19:58
  He
• 19:58
  has
• 19:58
  these
• 19:59
  eight
• 19:59
  Cs
• 19:59
  that
• 20:00
  are
• 20:00
  like
• 20:00
  connected
• 20:00
  to
• 20:01
  your
• 20:01
  core
• 20:01
  self.
• 20:01
  It's
• 20:02
  like
• 20:02
  calm,
• 20:02
  connected,
• 20:03
  confident.
• 20:04
  I
• 20:04
  can't
• 20:04
  let.
• 20:05
  I
• 20:05
  forget
• 20:05
  them
• 20:05
  all,
• 20:06
  to
• 20:06
  be
• 20:06
  honest.
• 20:06
  But
• 20:08
  it's
• 20:08
  like
• 20:08
  I
• 20:08
  work
• 20:09
  on
• 20:09
  that.
• 20:09
  Like,
• 20:09
  when's
• 20:10
  the
• 20:10
  last
• 20:10
  time
• 20:10
  you
• 20:10
  felt
• 20:11
  really
• 20:11
  good
• 20:11
  about
• 20:11
  yourself?
• 20:12
  What
• 20:12
  were
• 20:12
  you
• 20:12
  doing?
• 20:13
  Who
• 20:13
  were
• 20:13
  you
• 20:14
  around?
• 20:14
  Like,
• 20:15
  to
• 20:15
  really
• 20:15
  define
• 20:16
  that?
• 20:16
  Because
• 20:16
  you.
• 20:17
  In
• 20:17
  order
• 20:17
  to
• 20:17
  find
• 20:17
  a
• 20:18
  core
• 20:18
  value,
• 20:18
  you
• 20:18
  need
• 20:19
  to
• 20:19
  know
• 20:19
  your
• 20:19
  core
• 20:19
  self.
• 20:20
  So.
• 20:21
  And
• 20:21
  I
• 20:22
  think
• 20:22
  unfortunately,
• 20:23
  when
• 20:23
  people
• 20:23
  do,
• 20:23
  like
• 20:24
  you
• 20:24
  said,
• 20:24
  the
• 20:24
  situations
• 20:25
  where
• 20:25
  people
• 20:25
  come
• 20:25
  in
• 20:26
  and
• 20:26
  they,
• 20:26
  they've
• 20:27
  been
• 20:27
  conditioned
• 20:27
  their
• 20:28
  whole
• 20:28
  lives
• 20:28
  to,
• 20:29
  you
• 20:29
  know,
• 20:29
  not
• 20:30
  know.
• 20:30
  We
• 20:31
  really,
• 20:31
  it's
• 20:32
  a
• 20:32
  lot
• 20:32
  of
• 20:32
  work
• 20:32
  to
• 20:32
  peel
• 20:33
  back
• 20:33
  those.
• 20:33
  I
• 20:34
  call
• 20:34
  that,
• 20:34
  you
• 20:34
  know,
• 20:34
  protective
• 20:35
  parts.
• 20:35
  I
• 20:36
  mean,
• 20:36
  we
• 20:36
  all
• 20:36
  have
• 20:36
  them.
• 20:37
  Right?
• 20:39
  Right.
• 20:39
  And
• 20:40
  yes.
• 20:41
  So
• 20:41
  it's
• 20:41
  just
• 20:41
  basically.
• 20:42
  And
• 20:42
  that's
• 20:42
  kind
• 20:42
  of
• 20:42
  very
• 20:43
  similar
• 20:43
  to
• 20:43
  what
• 20:43
  I
• 20:43
  do
• 20:44
  with
• 20:44
  my
• 20:44
  people.
• 20:44
  I
• 20:45
  will
• 20:45
  just
• 20:45
  basically
• 20:45
  say,
• 20:46
  let's
• 20:46
  pict
• 20:47
  most
• 20:47
  amazing
• 20:47
  day
• 20:48
  picture.
• 20:48
  Exactly,
• 20:49
  you
• 20:49
  know,
• 20:49
  picture,
• 20:50
  you
• 20:50
  know,
• 20:50
  who
• 20:50
  are
• 20:50
  the
• 20:51
  people
• 20:51
  you're
• 20:51
  with?
• 20:51
  What
• 20:52
  are
• 20:52
  they?
• 20:52
  Like,
• 20:52
  what
• 20:53
  are
• 20:53
  their
• 20:53
  values?
• 20:54
  What's
• 20:54
  going
• 20:54
  on?
• 20:54
  What
• 20:55
  is
• 20:55
  the
• 20:55
  mood?
• 20:55
  What
• 20:55
  is
• 20:56
  the
• 20:56
  tone
• 20:56
  where
• 20:57
  you
• 20:57
  know,
• 20:57
  what
• 20:57
  is
• 20:58
  like,
• 20:59
  what
• 20:59
  is
• 20:59
  going
• 20:59
  on?
• 21:00
  Like,
• 21:00
  describe
• 21:01
  that
• 21:01
  in
• 21:01
  as
• 21:01
  much
• 21:01
  detail
• 21:02
  as
• 21:02
  you
• 21:02
  can
• 21:02
  with
• 21:03
  words,
• 21:03
  with
• 21:03
  adjectives.
• 21:05
  Happy
• 21:05
  and
• 21:05
  loyal
• 21:06
  and,
• 21:06
  and
• 21:06
  honest.
• 21:07
  And
• 21:07
  you
• 21:08
  know,
• 21:08
  and
• 21:08
  then
• 21:08
  it's
• 21:09
  like,
• 21:09
  okay,
• 21:09
  now
• 21:09
  picture
• 21:10
  the
• 21:10
  opposite.
• 21:12
  Picture
• 21:12
  yourself
• 21:12
  in
• 21:13
  some
• 21:13
  situations
• 21:13
  where
• 21:14
  you
• 21:14
  do
• 21:15
  get
• 21:15
  that
• 21:15
  gut
• 21:15
  punch
• 21:16
  and
• 21:16
  you're
• 21:16
  like,
• 21:16
  okay,
• 21:17
  this
• 21:17
  doesn't
• 21:17
  feel
• 21:17
  good.
• 21:18
  Like,
• 21:18
  what
• 21:18
  are
• 21:18
  those
• 21:19
  people?
• 21:19
  Like,
• 21:19
  what
• 21:19
  are
• 21:19
  they
• 21:19
  doing?
• 21:20
  What
• 21:20
  are
• 21:20
  they
• 21:20
  talking
• 21:21
  about?
• 21:21
  Like,
• 21:22
  and
• 21:22
  then
• 21:22
  you
• 21:22
  have
• 21:23
  your
• 21:23
  list
• 21:23
  kind
• 21:23
  of
• 21:24
  you.
• 21:24
  And
• 21:24
  then
• 21:24
  you
• 21:24
  can
• 21:25
  kind
• 21:25
  of
• 21:25
  narrow
• 21:25
  it
• 21:25
  down
• 21:26
  from
• 21:26
  there.
• 21:26
  And
• 21:27
  then
• 21:27
  it's
• 21:27
  like
• 21:27
  very
• 21:28
  easy
• 21:28
  if
• 21:28
  people
• 21:28
  are
• 21:29
  like,
• 21:29
  I
• 21:29
  don't
• 21:29
  know.
• 21:31
  When
• 21:31
  something
• 21:31
  goes,
• 21:32
  oh,
• 21:32
  I
• 21:32
  don't
• 21:33
  like
• 21:33
  that.
• 21:34
  9
• 21:34
  times
• 21:34
  out
• 21:35
  of
• 21:35
  10,
• 21:35
  10
• 21:35
  times
• 21:35
  out
• 21:36
  of
• 21:36
  10
• 21:36
  actually
• 21:36
  you
• 21:36
  can
• 21:36
  look
• 21:37
  at
• 21:37
  that
• 21:37
  list
• 21:37
  and
• 21:37
  go,
• 21:37
  oh,
• 21:38
  that
• 21:38
  is
• 21:38
  on
• 21:38
  my
• 21:38
  list
• 21:38
  of
• 21:39
  ew.
• 21:40
  And
• 21:41
  so
• 21:41
  it's
• 21:42
  like
• 21:42
  you
• 21:42
  can
• 21:43
  very
• 21:43
  easily
• 21:43
  then.
• 21:44
  And
• 21:44
  that's
• 21:44
  when
• 21:44
  you
• 21:45
  go
• 21:45
  in
• 21:45
  to
• 21:45
  start.
• 21:45
  Obviously
• 21:46
  you're
• 21:46
  working
• 21:46
  on
• 21:46
  boundaries
• 21:47
  at
• 21:47
  every
• 21:47
  point
• 21:48
  in
• 21:48
  your
• 21:48
  healing
• 21:48
  always.
• 21:50
  But
• 21:50
  you
• 21:50
  can
• 21:51
  say,
• 21:51
  hey,
• 21:52
  I
• 21:53
  want
• 21:53
  to
• 21:53
  be
• 21:53
  with
• 21:53
  this
• 21:54
  side
• 21:54
  of
• 21:55
  the
• 21:55
  list.
• 21:55
  And
• 21:56
  if
• 21:56
  you
• 21:56
  are
• 21:56
  not,
• 21:57
  it's
• 21:57
  very
• 21:57
  easy
• 21:58
  to
• 21:58
  say.
• 21:58
  It's
• 21:58
  not
• 21:59
  an.
• 21:59
  It's
• 21:59
  a
• 21:59
  non
• 21:59
  negotiable.
• 22:00
  You
• 22:01
  know,
• 22:01
  it's
• 22:01
  like
• 22:01
  you
• 22:01
  go
• 22:01
  on
• 22:02
  a
• 22:02
  date
• 22:02
  and
• 22:02
  if
• 22:03
  honesty
• 22:03
  is
• 22:03
  one
• 22:03
  of
• 22:04
  your
• 22:04
  core
• 22:04
  values
• 22:04
  because
• 22:05
  you
• 22:05
  spent
• 22:05
  your
• 22:05
  whole
• 22:05
  life
• 22:06
  being
• 22:06
  lied
• 22:06
  to
• 22:07
  and
• 22:07
  you
• 22:07
  just
• 22:07
  want
• 22:08
  people
• 22:08
  to
• 22:08
  be
• 22:08
  honest
• 22:08
  with
• 22:09
  you
• 22:09
  no
• 22:09
  matter
• 22:09
  what
• 22:09
  the
• 22:10
  story
• 22:10
  is.
• 22:10
  And
• 22:11
  you
• 22:11
  go
• 22:11
  on
• 22:11
  a
• 22:11
  date
• 22:12
  and
• 22:12
  there's
• 22:12
  three
• 22:12
  little
• 22:13
  small
• 22:13
  white
• 22:13
  lies
• 22:14
  in
• 22:14
  the
• 22:14
  very
• 22:14
  first
• 22:14
  date
• 22:15
  or
• 22:15
  the
• 22:16
  stories
• 22:16
  contradict
• 22:17
  a
• 22:17
  couple
• 22:17
  times,
• 22:18
  you
• 22:18
  know,
• 22:18
  and
• 22:19
  anything
• 22:19
  you
• 22:19
  go,
• 22:20
  it's
• 22:20
  like,
• 22:20
  red
• 22:20
  flag.
• 22:21
  Nope,
• 22:22
  done.
• 22:22
  Like,
• 22:23
  so
• 22:23
  again,
• 22:23
  you
• 22:24
  know,
• 22:24
  I
• 22:24
  always
• 22:24
  go
• 22:24
  back
• 22:25
  to
• 22:25
  non
• 22:25
  negotiables
• 22:26
  because.
• 22:27
  Or
• 22:27
  because
• 22:28
  you
• 22:28
  don't
• 22:28
  have
• 22:28
  to
• 22:28
  explain
• 22:29
  that.
• 22:30
  You
• 22:30
  don't
• 22:30
  have
• 22:30
  to
• 22:30
  say,
• 22:31
  well,
• 22:31
  there
• 22:32
  was
• 22:32
  a
• 22:32
  couple
• 22:32
  red
• 22:32
  flags
• 22:33
  and,
• 22:34
  and
• 22:34
  it
• 22:34
  didn't
• 22:34
  align
• 22:35
  with
• 22:35
  my
• 22:35
  core
• 22:35
  values.
• 22:36
  You
• 22:36
  just
• 22:36
  know
• 22:36
  in
• 22:36
  your
• 22:37
  mind
• 22:37
  this
• 22:37
  isn't
• 22:37
  the
• 22:37
  person
• 22:37
  for
• 22:38
  me
• 22:38
  because
• 22:38
  it'
• 22:39
  not
• 22:39
  who
• 22:39
  I
• 22:39
  want
• 22:39
  to
• 22:40
  be
• 22:40
  around.
• 22:40
  Period.
• 22:42
  Yeah.
• 22:42
  100.
• 22:43
  Yeah.
• 22:44
  I
• 22:44
  wholeheartedly
• 22:45
  agree
• 22:45
  with
• 22:45
  you.
• 22:45
  But
• 22:46
  also
• 22:46
  too
• 22:46
  I
• 22:46
  want
• 22:46
  to
• 22:46
  like
• 22:47
  validate
• 22:47
  for
• 22:47
  your
• 22:47
  reader,
• 22:48
  for
• 22:48
  your
• 22:48
  readers.
• 22:48
  Excuse
• 22:49
  me,
• 22:49
  your
• 22:49
  audience.
• 22:50
  I've
• 22:50
  been
• 22:50
  reading
• 22:50
  a
• 22:50
  lot
• 22:51
  so
• 22:51
  I'm
• 22:51
  like
• 22:51
  my
• 22:51
  readers.
• 22:52
  Your,
• 22:53
  your
• 22:53
  audience
• 22:54
  that
• 22:54
  like
• 22:54
  it's
• 22:55
  something
• 22:55
  that
• 22:56
  it's
• 22:56
  a
• 22:56
  skill.
• 22:57
  Like
• 22:57
  it
• 22:57
  doesn't,
• 22:58
  you
• 22:58
  know
• 22:58
  what
• 22:58
  I
• 22:58
  mean?
• 22:58
  You
• 22:59
  have
• 22:59
  to
• 22:59
  develop
• 22:59
  this
• 23:00
  like
• 23:00
  it's
• 23:01
  and
• 23:01
  it's,
• 23:01
  and
• 23:01
  it's
• 23:01
  ongoing.
• 23:02
  You
• 23:02
  know
• 23:02
  what
• 23:02
  I
• 23:02
  mean?
• 23:02
  It's
• 23:03
  like,
• 23:03
  and
• 23:03
  you
• 23:04
  know,
• 23:04
  you
• 23:04
  gave
• 23:04
  a
• 23:05
  perfect
• 23:05
  example
• 23:05
  like
• 23:05
  on
• 23:06
  a
• 23:06
  date.
• 23:06
  Like
• 23:08
  you
• 23:08
  know,
• 23:08
  and
• 23:08
  also
• 23:08
  too
• 23:09
  I
• 23:09
  always,
• 23:09
  I
• 23:09
  always
• 23:09
  also
• 23:10
  to
• 23:10
  look
• 23:10
  into
• 23:10
  my
• 23:11
  body.
• 23:11
  Your,
• 23:12
  I've
• 23:12
  noticed
• 23:13
  in
• 23:13
  my
• 23:13
  healing
• 23:13
  journey
• 23:14
  and
• 23:14
  my,
• 23:15
  your
• 23:15
  mind
• 23:15
  can
• 23:16
  play
• 23:16
  tricks
• 23:16
  on
• 23:16
  you
• 23:17
  because
• 23:17
  of
• 23:17
  course
• 23:17
  you
• 23:17
  know
• 23:17
  what
• 23:18
  I
• 23:18
  mean.
• 23:18
  Like
• 23:18
  you
• 23:18
  know,
• 23:18
  I
• 23:19
  know
• 23:19
  like
• 23:19
  just
• 23:19
  the
• 23:19
  way
• 23:19
  our
• 23:20
  brains
• 23:20
  are
• 23:20
  wired.
• 23:21
  But
• 23:21
  your
• 23:22
  body
• 23:22
  will
• 23:22
  always
• 23:22
  tell
• 23:23
  you
• 23:23
  like
• 23:24
  if
• 23:24
  you're
• 23:24
  sensing
• 23:25
  a
• 23:25
  little,
• 23:26
  you
• 23:26
  know,
• 23:26
  if
• 23:27
  you're
• 23:27
  maybe
• 23:27
  a
• 23:27
  little
• 23:27
  anxious,
• 23:28
  like
• 23:28
  I
• 23:28
  always
• 23:29
  say
• 23:29
  anything
• 23:29
  that
• 23:30
  is
• 23:30
  meant
• 23:30
  for
• 23:30
  you
• 23:30
  in
• 23:31
  your
• 23:31
  life
• 23:31
  will
• 23:31
  feel
• 23:32
  like
• 23:32
  a
• 23:32
  breath
• 23:32
  of
• 23:33
  fresh
• 23:33
  air.
• 23:34
  Like
• 23:34
  you'll
• 23:35
  feel
• 23:35
  calm,
• 23:36
  you
• 23:36
  will
• 23:36
  feel
• 23:36
  at
• 23:37
  peace
• 23:37
  because
• 23:38
  and
• 23:38
  if
• 23:38
  you
• 23:38
  think
• 23:38
  about
• 23:38
  it,
• 23:39
  we're
• 23:39
  mammals
• 23:39
  like
• 23:40
  anxiety
• 23:40
  fight
• 23:41
  or
• 23:41
  flight.
• 23:42
  Like
• 23:42
  what
• 23:43
  happens
• 23:43
  when
• 23:43
  you
• 23:44
  know,
• 23:44
  you
• 23:44
  know,
• 23:45
  back
• 23:45
  in
• 23:45
  the
• 23:45
  day,
• 23:45
  like
• 23:45
  our
• 23:46
  caveman
• 23:46
  brains,
• 23:47
  like
• 23:48
  when
• 23:48
  they
• 23:48
  saw
• 23:49
  a
• 23:49
  tiger
• 23:49
  or
• 23:50
  whatever,
• 23:50
  whatever
• 23:51
  a
• 23:51
  threat.
• 23:52
  That's
• 23:52
  what
• 23:52
  anxiety
• 23:53
  is.
• 23:53
  So
• 23:53
  if
• 23:54
  any
• 23:54
  fear
• 23:54
  based
• 23:56
  feeling
• 23:56
  will
• 23:57
  trigger
• 23:57
  anxiety.
• 23:58
  So
• 23:58
  if
• 23:58
  you're,
• 23:58
  if
• 23:58
  your
• 23:59
  body
• 23:59
  is
• 23:59
  feeling
• 23:59
  tense
• 24:00
  and
• 24:01
  just
• 24:01
  you
• 24:01
  feel
• 24:02
  uncomfortable
• 24:02
  like
• 24:02
  that's
• 24:03
  your
• 24:03
  signal
• 24:04
  before
• 24:04
  your
• 24:05
  brain
• 24:05
  says
• 24:05
  like
• 24:06
  hey,
• 24:06
  that
• 24:07
  I
• 24:07
  always
• 24:07
  try
• 24:07
  to
• 24:07
  lean
• 24:08
  into
• 24:08
  like
• 24:08
  my
• 24:08
  bodily
• 24:09
  like
• 24:09
  reactions
• 24:10
  first
• 24:10
  around,
• 24:11
  especially
• 24:11
  around
• 24:12
  people
• 24:12
  because
• 24:12
  we're
• 24:13
  all,
• 24:13
  you
• 24:13
  know,
• 24:13
  energy
• 24:14
  and
• 24:15
  I'm
• 24:15
  like,
• 24:15
  and
• 24:15
  if
• 24:16
  I
• 24:16
  know
• 24:16
  like,
• 24:16
  I
• 24:17
  mean
• 24:17
  trust
• 24:18
  me,
• 24:18
  I'm
• 24:18
  working
• 24:18
  on
• 24:18
  this.
• 24:19
  It
• 24:19
  has,
• 24:19
  I
• 24:19
  haven't
• 24:19
  always
• 24:20
  been
• 24:20
  like
• 24:20
  this
• 24:20
  because
• 24:20
  clearly
• 24:21
  as
• 24:21
  I
• 24:22
  mentioned
• 24:22
  being
• 24:23
  an
• 24:23
  empath,
• 24:23
  I.
• 24:26
  I,
• 24:26
  I
• 24:26
  always,
• 24:27
  I,
• 24:27
  I
• 24:27
  like
• 24:27
  to
• 24:27
  think
• 24:28
  and
• 24:28
  maybe
• 24:29
  call
• 24:29
  me
• 24:29
  naive,
• 24:30
  call
• 24:30
  me,
• 24:30
  you
• 24:30
  know,
• 24:31
  whatever,
• 24:31
  but
• 24:31
  I
• 24:32
  really
• 24:32
  do
• 24:32
  feel
• 24:32
  like
• 24:33
  there
• 24:33
  is
• 24:33
  good
• 24:33
  in
• 24:34
  everybody.
• 24:35
  It's
• 24:35
  just
• 24:35
  a
• 24:35
  matter
• 24:36
  of
• 24:36
  like
• 24:36
  peeling
• 24:37
  it
• 24:37
  back
• 24:37
  or
• 24:38
  taking
• 24:38
  it
• 24:39
  back.
• 24:39
  But
• 24:39
  I
• 24:39
  have
• 24:39
  to
• 24:39
  realize
• 24:40
  and
• 24:40
  I've
• 24:40
  told
• 24:41
  myself
• 24:41
  to
• 24:41
  this
• 24:41
  and
• 24:42
  being
• 24:42
  a
• 24:42
  therapist
• 24:43
  and
• 24:43
  working
• 24:43
  with
• 24:43
  people
• 24:44
  and
• 24:44
  being
• 24:44
  a
• 24:44
  coach,
• 24:46
  you
• 24:46
  have
• 24:46
  to
• 24:47
  let
• 24:47
  them
• 24:47
  do
• 24:47
  that
• 24:48
  work
• 24:48
  you
• 24:49
  like,
• 24:49
  you
• 24:49
  know
• 24:49
  what
• 24:49
  I
• 24:49
  mean?
• 24:49
  You
• 24:50
  can't
• 24:50
  work
• 24:50
  harder
• 24:51
  than
• 24:52
  them
• 24:52
  because
• 24:53
  if
• 24:53
  you
• 24:53
  do,
• 24:55
  it
• 24:55
  might
• 24:56
  impact,
• 24:56
  you
• 24:56
  know,
• 24:57
  the
• 24:57
  work
• 24:58
  they're
• 24:58
  in
• 24:58
  our
• 24:58
  work.
• 24:59
  Right.
• 24:59
  And
• 25:00
  you're,
• 25:00
  I
• 25:00
  mean
• 25:00
  especially
• 25:01
  being
• 25:01
  an
• 25:01
  empath,
• 25:01
  you're
• 25:02
  going
• 25:02
  to
• 25:02
  absorb
• 25:02
  all
• 25:03
  that
• 25:03
  energy
• 25:03
  and
• 25:03
  that's
• 25:03
  probably
• 25:04
  one
• 25:04
  of
• 25:04
  the
• 25:04
  hardest
• 25:05
  things
• 25:05
  especially.
• 25:05
  And
• 25:06
  I
• 25:06
  know
• 25:06
  there's
• 25:06
  a
• 25:06
  lot
• 25:06
  of
• 25:06
  people
• 25:07
  out
• 25:07
  there
• 25:08
  listening
• 25:08
  that
• 25:08
  again,
• 25:08
  these
• 25:09
  are
• 25:09
  words
• 25:10
  that
• 25:10
  people
• 25:10
  that
• 25:11
  are
• 25:11
  just
• 25:11
  now
• 25:11
  being
• 25:11
  thrown,
• 25:12
  I
• 25:12
  mean,
• 25:12
  not
• 25:12
  just
• 25:13
  now,
• 25:13
  but
• 25:13
  recently
• 25:14
  being
• 25:14
  thrown
• 25:14
  away
• 25:15
  around
• 25:15
  as
• 25:16
  these.
• 25:16
  You
• 25:17
  know,
• 25:17
  you're
• 25:17
  hearing
• 25:17
  the
• 25:17
  word
• 25:17
  narcissist,
• 25:18
  you're
• 25:18
  hearing
• 25:18
  the
• 25:19
  word
• 25:19
  empath,
• 25:19
  you're
• 25:19
  hearing
• 25:20
  the
• 25:20
  word
• 25:20
  highly
• 25:20
  sensitive
• 25:21
  person.
• 25:21
  Like
• 25:22
  you
• 25:22
  never
• 25:22
  used
• 25:22
  to
• 25:22
  feel
• 25:23
  the
• 25:23
  hear
• 25:23
  these
• 25:23
  words.
• 25:24
  So
• 25:24
  people
• 25:25
  that
• 25:25
  are
• 25:25
  now
• 25:25
  hearing
• 25:26
  them.
• 25:28
  You
• 25:28
  know,
• 25:28
  go
• 25:29
  on,
• 25:30
  literally
• 25:31
  just
• 25:31
  go
• 25:31
  on
• 25:31
  a
• 25:32
  podcast
• 25:32
  and
• 25:32
  listen.
• 25:32
  You
• 25:33
  type
• 25:33
  in
• 25:33
  empaths
• 25:34
  or
• 25:34
  how
• 25:34
  to
• 25:35
  be.
• 25:35
  How
• 25:35
  to
• 25:35
  navigate
• 25:36
  as
• 25:36
  an
• 25:36
  empath
• 25:37
  because
• 25:37
  it
• 25:37
  is
• 25:38
  very,
• 25:38
  you
• 25:38
  know,
• 25:39
  it
• 25:39
  is
• 25:39
  a
• 25:39
  very
• 25:40
  different.
• 25:41
  When
• 25:42
  you're
• 25:42
  feeling
• 25:43
  experience,
• 25:43
  you're
• 25:44
  feeling
• 25:44
  other
• 25:44
  people's
• 25:45
  energy
• 25:45
  and
• 25:45
  it
• 25:46
  literally
• 25:46
  can
• 25:46
  be
• 25:46
  draining.
• 25:47
  And
• 25:48
  sometimes
• 25:48
  like
• 25:49
  you,
• 25:49
  I
• 25:49
  mean,
• 25:50
  you
• 25:50
  mentioned
• 25:50
  the,
• 25:51
  the
• 25:51
  time
• 25:51
  that
• 25:52
  you
• 25:52
  just
• 25:52
  were
• 25:53
  so
• 25:53
  exhausted.
• 25:55
  It
• 25:55
  is
• 25:55
  absolutely
• 25:56
  exhausting
• 25:57
  when
• 25:57
  you're
• 25:58
  not
• 25:58
  being
• 25:58
  able
• 25:59
  to
• 25:59
  discern
• 26:00
  or
• 26:00
  you're
• 26:01
  just
• 26:01
  taking
• 26:01
  in
• 26:01
  too
• 26:01
  much
• 26:02
  of
• 26:02
  other
• 26:02
  people's
• 26:02
  energy.
• 26:03
  Yeah.
• 26:04
  You
• 26:04
  know,
• 26:05
  and
• 26:05
  there's
• 26:05
  so
• 26:05
  much
• 26:05
  you
• 26:05
  can
• 26:06
  do.
• 26:06
  You
• 26:06
  can.
• 26:07
  I,
• 26:07
  I
• 26:07
  like
• 26:07
  to
• 26:07
  tell
• 26:08
  people
• 26:08
  that
• 26:08
  because
• 26:08
  there's,
• 26:09
  I
• 26:09
  mean,
• 26:09
  I
• 26:10
  literally
• 26:10
  took
• 26:10
  a
• 26:10
  whole
• 26:11
  like
• 26:11
  70
• 26:11
  hour
• 26:12
  course
• 26:12
  on
• 26:12
  literally
• 26:13
  just
• 26:13
  nothing
• 26:13
  but
• 26:14
  how
• 26:14
  to
• 26:14
  collect
• 26:14
  clear
• 26:15
  negative
• 26:15
  energy.
• 26:16
  Other
• 26:16
  people's
• 26:16
  negative
• 26:17
  energy.
• 26:17
  Yeah.
• 26:17
  And
• 26:18
  it's
• 26:18
  pendulums
• 26:19
  and
• 26:19
  body
• 26:19
  testing
• 26:19
  and
• 26:20
  you
• 26:20
  know,
• 26:20
  it's
• 26:20
  all
• 26:21
  this
• 26:21
  muscle
• 26:21
  testing
• 26:22
  and
• 26:22
  all
• 26:22
  this
• 26:22
  stuff.
• 26:23
  But
• 26:23
  at
• 26:23
  the
• 26:23
  end
• 26:23
  of
• 26:23
  the
• 26:24
  day,
• 26:24
  if
• 26:24
  you
• 26:25
  can't
• 26:25
  do
• 26:25
  it,
• 26:25
  it's
• 26:25
  exhausting.
• 26:26
  So
• 26:26
  the
• 26:26
  best
• 26:27
  clue
• 26:27
  and
• 26:27
  yes,
• 26:28
  I
• 26:28
  agree
• 26:28
  100
• 26:29
  with
• 26:29
  you
• 26:29
  is
• 26:30
  listen
• 26:30
  to
• 26:30
  your
• 26:30
  body.
• 26:31
  Your
• 26:31
  body
• 26:32
  does
• 26:32
  not
• 26:32
  lie.
• 26:34
  Oh,
• 26:34
  100.
• 26:35
  And
• 26:35
  I
• 26:35
  will
• 26:35
  say
• 26:36
  everything
• 26:36
  that
• 26:36
  yesterday
• 26:37
  when
• 26:37
  I
• 26:37
  felt
• 26:37
  exhausted,
• 26:38
  it
• 26:38
  was
• 26:39
  not
• 26:39
  from
• 26:39
  any,
• 26:40
  I
• 26:40
  know,
• 26:40
  from
• 26:40
  negative
• 26:41
  energy.
• 26:41
  It
• 26:41
  was
• 26:42
  almost
• 26:42
  was
• 26:42
  like
• 26:42
  they
• 26:43
  call,
• 26:43
  they
• 26:43
  call
• 26:43
  had.
• 26:43
  They
• 26:44
  have
• 26:44
  a
• 26:44
  term
• 26:44
  in
• 26:44
  therapy
• 26:44
  called
• 26:45
  compassion
• 26:45
  fatigue.
• 26:46
  And
• 26:46
  it's
• 26:47
  because
• 26:47
  we,
• 26:48
  because
• 26:48
  we
• 26:48
  and
• 26:49
  you
• 26:49
  as
• 26:49
  a
• 26:49
  coach,
• 26:49
  as
• 26:49
  coaches,
• 26:50
  we
• 26:50
  care
• 26:50
  about
• 26:51
  our
• 26:51
  clients.
• 26:52
  Like
• 26:52
  we
• 26:53
  actually
• 26:53
  invest,
• 26:53
  we
• 26:54
  emotionally
• 26:54
  invest
• 26:55
  in
• 26:55
  them.
• 26:55
  So
• 26:56
  that's
• 26:56
  a
• 26:56
  different
• 26:56
  experience
• 26:58
  than
• 26:58
  if
• 26:58
  you.
• 26:59
  And
• 26:59
  no,
• 27:00
  you
• 27:00
  know,
• 27:01
  no
• 27:01
  judgment
• 27:02
  or
• 27:02
  if
• 27:02
  you
• 27:02
  just
• 27:02
  go
• 27:03
  to
• 27:03
  work
• 27:03
  every
• 27:03
  day
• 27:04
  and
• 27:04
  you're
• 27:04
  just
• 27:04
  typing
• 27:05
  in
• 27:05
  an
• 27:05
  Excel
• 27:06
  documents,
• 27:06
  like
• 27:07
  that's
• 27:07
  a
• 27:07
  different
• 27:07
  experience
• 27:08
  than
• 27:08
  working
• 27:08
  with
• 27:09
  physical
• 27:09
  people.
• 27:10
  You
• 27:11
  know,
• 27:11
  when
• 27:11
  you're
• 27:11
  working
• 27:11
  with
• 27:11
  people,
• 27:12
  and
• 27:12
  I
• 27:12
  mean
• 27:13
  in
• 27:13
  general,
• 27:13
  even
• 27:14
  at
• 27:14
  work,
• 27:14
  even
• 27:14
  if
• 27:15
  you
• 27:15
  are
• 27:15
  just
• 27:15
  typing
• 27:15
  in
• 27:15
  Excel
• 27:16
  documents
• 27:16
  like
• 27:16
  you
• 27:17
  are
• 27:17
  and
• 27:17
  hopefully
• 27:18
  interacting
• 27:18
  with
• 27:19
  people
• 27:19
  at
• 27:19
  work.
• 27:19
  So
• 27:20
  whenever
• 27:20
  you're
• 27:20
  with
• 27:20
  people,
• 27:21
  you're
• 27:22
  interacting
• 27:22
  with
• 27:22
  feelings
• 27:23
  and,
• 27:24
  you
• 27:24
  know,
• 27:24
  energy
• 27:25
  and
• 27:25
  all
• 27:25
  that
• 27:26
  stuff.
• 27:26
  So
• 27:26
  it,
• 27:27
  it
• 27:27
  does
• 27:27
  take
• 27:27
  a
• 27:28
  toll.
• 27:28
  But
• 27:28
  I
• 27:28
  will
• 27:28
  say
• 27:29
  that
• 27:29
  in
• 27:29
  my
• 27:29
  life
• 27:29
  right
• 27:30
  now,
• 27:30
  unfortunately,
• 27:30
  I
• 27:30
  have
• 27:31
  like
• 27:31
  three
• 27:31
  people
• 27:31
  that
• 27:32
  have,
• 27:32
  like,
• 27:33
  somebody's
• 27:34
  husband
• 27:34
  is
• 27:35
  dying,
• 27:35
  the
• 27:35
  other
• 27:35
  person's
• 27:36
  brother
• 27:36
  is
• 27:36
  dying.
• 27:36
  Like
• 27:37
  the
• 27:37
  hobby.
• 27:37
  We
• 27:38
  were
• 27:38
  just
• 27:38
  talking
• 27:38
  about
• 27:39
  the
• 27:39
  hurricane,
• 27:40
  Hurricane
• 27:41
  Melissa
• 27:42
  that
• 27:42
  went
• 27:42
  through
• 27:42
  Puerto
• 27:42
  Rico
• 27:43
  before
• 27:43
  this
• 27:43
  podcast.
• 27:44
  Like,
• 27:45
  I
• 27:45
  have
• 27:45
  friends
• 27:45
  that,
• 27:46
  a
• 27:46
  friend's
• 27:46
  mom
• 27:47
  has
• 27:47
  a
• 27:47
  house
• 27:47
  there.
• 27:47
  And
• 27:48
  it's
• 27:48
  like,
• 27:48
  while
• 27:49
  they
• 27:49
  are
• 27:49
  little
• 27:49
  things,
• 27:50
  like,
• 27:51
  I
• 27:51
  have
• 27:51
  compassion,
• 27:52
  I
• 27:52
  hold
• 27:52
  compassion
• 27:53
  towards
• 27:53
  them.
• 27:54
  And
• 27:55
  there
• 27:55
  it
• 27:55
  was
• 27:56
  just
• 27:56
  a
• 27:56
  lot.
• 27:56
  At
• 27:56
  one,
• 27:57
  it
• 27:57
  was
• 27:57
  just
• 27:57
  yesterday,
• 27:58
  I
• 27:58
  just
• 27:58
  kind
• 27:58
  of
• 27:58
  hit
• 27:58
  me,
• 27:58
  I
• 27:59
  was
• 27:59
  like,
• 27:59
  wow,
• 27:59
  there's
• 27:59
  a
• 27:59
  lot
• 27:59
  going
• 28:00
  on
• 28:00
  today.
• 28:01
  Yeah,
• 28:01
  no,
• 28:02
  it
• 28:02
  is,
• 28:02
  it
• 28:02
  can
• 28:03
  be
• 28:03
  emotionally
• 28:03
  draining.
• 28:04
  It
• 28:04
  really
• 28:04
  can.
• 28:05
  And
• 28:05
  that's,
• 28:06
  you
• 28:06
  know,
• 28:06
  I,
• 28:07
  I
• 28:07
  say
• 28:07
  that
• 28:07
  all
• 28:07
  the
• 28:07
  time.
• 28:08
  Like,
• 28:08
  if
• 28:08
  you
• 28:08
  at
• 28:08
  three
• 28:08
  o'
• 28:09
  clock
• 28:09
  in
• 28:09
  the
• 28:09
  afternoon,
• 28:09
  all
• 28:10
  of
• 28:10
  a
• 28:10
  sudden
• 28:10
  you've
• 28:10
  been
• 28:11
  had
• 28:11
  a
• 28:11
  rough
• 28:11
  day
• 28:11
  and
• 28:11
  you
• 28:12
  feel
• 28:12
  like
• 28:12
  you
• 28:12
  need
• 28:12
  a
• 28:12
  nap,
• 28:13
  by
• 28:13
  golly,
• 28:14
  take
• 28:14
  a
• 28:14
  nap,
• 28:14
  lay
• 28:14
  down
• 28:15
  20
• 28:15
  minutes,
• 28:15
  close
• 28:16
  your
• 28:16
  eyes,
• 28:16
  meditate,
• 28:17
  do
• 28:17
  whatever.
• 28:17
  Just
• 28:18
  relax.
• 28:20
  Yeah,
• 28:20
  I
• 28:20
  was
• 28:20
  getting
• 28:21
  a
• 28:21
  massage
• 28:22
  yesterday,
• 28:23
  and
• 28:23
  it
• 28:23
  was
• 28:23
  funny
• 28:24
  because
• 28:24
  I
• 28:24
  was
• 28:25
  at
• 28:25
  this
• 28:25
  place
• 28:25
  and
• 28:25
  the
• 28:26
  person
• 28:26
  that
• 28:26
  was
• 28:26
  kind
• 28:26
  of
• 28:27
  next
• 28:27
  to
• 28:27
  us
• 28:27
  a
• 28:27
  little
• 28:27
  bit,
• 28:28
  like,
• 28:28
  it
• 28:28
  was
• 28:29
  not
• 28:29
  like
• 28:29
  I
• 28:30
  could
• 28:30
  just
• 28:30
  feel
• 28:30
  the
• 28:31
  tension
• 28:31
  on
• 28:32
  her.
• 28:33
  So
• 28:33
  I'm
• 28:33
  sitting
• 28:33
  here
• 28:33
  trying
• 28:34
  to
• 28:34
  get
• 28:34
  a
• 28:34
  massage
• 28:34
  and
• 28:35
  I
• 28:35
  could
• 28:35
  just,
• 28:35
  like,
• 28:35
  it
• 28:35
  was
• 28:35
  like,
• 28:36
  it
• 28:36
  was
• 28:36
  like
• 28:36
  she
• 28:36
  was
• 28:36
  radiating
• 28:37
  stress,
• 28:38
  like,
• 28:38
  when
• 28:38
  I
• 28:39
  tell
• 28:39
  you.
• 28:39
  And
• 28:40
  so
• 28:40
  I
• 28:40
  said
• 28:40
  to
• 28:40
  the
• 28:41
  lady
• 28:41
  that
• 28:41
  was
• 28:41
  doing
• 28:42
  the
• 28:42
  massage,
• 28:42
  and
• 28:42
  I,
• 28:43
  I,
• 28:43
  I
• 28:43
  said
• 28:44
  it
• 28:44
  kind
• 28:44
  of
• 28:44
  out
• 28:44
  loud,
• 28:45
  maybe
• 28:45
  hoping
• 28:45
  that
• 28:45
  other
• 28:46
  lady
• 28:46
  would
• 28:46
  be
• 28:46
  like,
• 28:46
  oh,
• 28:47
  I
• 28:47
  better
• 28:48
  kill
• 28:48
  myself.
• 28:49
  Yeah,
• 28:50
  you
• 28:50
  know
• 28:50
  what
• 28:50
  I
• 28:50
  mean?
• 28:50
  Because
• 28:51
  I
• 28:51
  was
• 28:51
  like,
• 28:51
  I'm
• 28:51
  sitting
• 28:51
  here
• 28:52
  trying
• 28:52
  to
• 28:52
  get
• 28:52
  a
• 28:52
  massage,
• 28:53
  and
• 28:53
  you're
• 28:53
  like.
• 28:54
  But
• 28:54
  anyway,
• 28:55
  so
• 28:55
  I
• 28:55
  said,
• 28:55
  like,
• 28:56
  what
• 28:56
  do
• 28:56
  you
• 28:56
  do
• 28:56
  when
• 28:57
  other
• 28:57
  people,
• 28:57
  I
• 28:57
  mean,
• 28:58
  you
• 28:58
  absorb
• 28:59
  so
• 28:59
  much.
• 29:00
  I
• 29:00
  mean,
• 29:00
  she
• 29:00
  is
• 29:00
  a
• 29:00
  true
• 29:01
  healer
• 29:01
  and
• 29:01
  she
• 29:02
  absorbs
• 29:02
  so
• 29:03
  much
• 29:03
  of
• 29:03
  the
• 29:03
  people,
• 29:03
  like,
• 29:04
  their
• 29:04
  energy.
• 29:04
  So
• 29:05
  I
• 29:05
  literally,
• 29:05
  I
• 29:05
  said
• 29:05
  to
• 29:05
  her,
• 29:06
  I
• 29:06
  said,
• 29:06
  so
• 29:06
  what
• 29:06
  kind
• 29:07
  of
• 29:07
  energy
• 29:07
  am
• 29:07
  I
• 29:07
  putting
• 29:08
  off?
• 29:08
  Like,
• 29:08
  are
• 29:08
  you
• 29:09
  okay
• 29:09
  with
• 29:09
  this?
• 29:10
  And
• 29:10
  I
• 29:10
  was,
• 29:10
  I
• 29:10
  was
• 29:11
  not.
• 29:13
  Was
• 29:13
  not
• 29:14
  sending
• 29:14
  that
• 29:14
  message
• 29:14
  to
• 29:15
  my
• 29:15
  massage
• 29:15
  person.
• 29:16
  I
• 29:16
  was
• 29:16
  sending
• 29:16
  it
• 29:16
  to
• 29:17
  the
• 29:17
  lady
• 29:17
  across
• 29:17
  the
• 29:18
  hall
• 29:18
  there
• 29:18
  that
• 29:18
  was
• 29:19
  just
• 29:19
  totally
• 29:19
  stressed
• 29:20
  out.
• 29:20
  And
• 29:20
  it
• 29:20
  was
• 29:21
  so
• 29:21
  funny.
• 29:21
  And
• 29:21
  she
• 29:21
  did,
• 29:22
  she
• 29:22
  said,
• 29:22
  no,
• 29:22
  she
• 29:22
  said,
• 29:23
  I've
• 29:23
  been
• 29:23
  doing
• 29:23
  this
• 29:23
  so
• 29:24
  long
• 29:24
  that
• 29:25
  I
• 29:25
  am
• 29:25
  able
• 29:25
  to
• 29:25
  open
• 29:26
  up
• 29:26
  that
• 29:27
  extra
• 29:27
  space.
• 29:28
  And
• 29:28
  my,
• 29:29
  what
• 29:30
  did
• 29:30
  she
• 29:30
  call
• 29:30
  it?
• 29:32
  I
• 29:32
  don't
• 29:32
  know.
• 29:32
  But
• 29:32
  anyway,
• 29:33
  her
• 29:33
  energy
• 29:33
  comfort
• 29:34
  zone
• 29:34
  basically
• 29:35
  was
• 29:36
  so
• 29:36
  large
• 29:37
  that
• 29:37
  she
• 29:37
  could
• 29:38
  let
• 29:38
  other
• 29:38
  people's
• 29:39
  energy
• 29:39
  in
• 29:39
  and
• 29:40
  not
• 29:40
  have
• 29:40
  it
• 29:41
  affect
• 29:41
  hers
• 29:41
  at
• 29:42
  all.
• 29:42
  And
• 29:43
  that's
• 29:43
  really,
• 29:43
  as
• 29:43
  a
• 29:44
  healer,
• 29:44
  that's
• 29:44
  what
• 29:44
  you're
• 29:45
  doing.
• 29:45
  You're
• 29:45
  making
• 29:46
  space,
• 29:46
  you're
• 29:46
  making
• 29:46
  that
• 29:47
  extra
• 29:47
  space
• 29:47
  and
• 29:48
  making
• 29:48
  your
• 29:49
  zone
• 29:49
  of
• 29:49
  comfort
• 29:50
  or
• 29:50
  whatever
• 29:52
  bigger
• 29:53
  so
• 29:53
  that
• 29:53
  you
• 29:53
  can.
• 29:54
  You
• 29:54
  can
• 29:54
  absorb
• 29:55
  that
• 29:55
  energy
• 29:55
  and.
• 29:56
  And
• 29:56
  not
• 29:56
  have
• 29:56
  it
• 29:57
  affect
• 29:57
  you.
• 29:58
  Yeah,
• 29:58
  but
• 29:59
  to
• 29:59
  your
• 29:59
  point
• 29:59
  about
• 30:00
  the
• 30:00
  woman
• 30:00
  getting
• 30:00
  the
• 30:00
  massage,
• 30:01
  like,
• 30:01
  that's
• 30:02
  why
• 30:02
  self
• 30:02
  care
• 30:03
  is
• 30:04
  so
• 30:04
  important.
• 30:05
  That
• 30:05
  was
• 30:05
  me
• 30:05
  get.
• 30:06
  It
• 30:06
  was
• 30:06
  me
• 30:06
  getting
• 30:06
  the
• 30:06
  massage.
• 30:08
  Oh,
• 30:08
  it
• 30:08
  was
• 30:09
  the
• 30:09
  lady.
• 30:09
  Oh,
• 30:09
  I
• 30:09
  thought
• 30:09
  you
• 30:10
  said
• 30:10
  this.
• 30:10
  Sorry,
• 30:10
  I
• 30:11
  misunderstood.
• 30:11
  My
• 30:11
  apologies.
• 30:12
  I
• 30:13
  was
• 30:13
  getting
• 30:13
  the
• 30:13
  massage
• 30:14
  and
• 30:14
  the
• 30:14
  lady
• 30:14
  next
• 30:14
  to
• 30:15
  me
• 30:15
  was
• 30:15
  like
• 30:15
  talking
• 30:16
  and
• 30:16
  she
• 30:16
  had.
• 30:16
  We
• 30:17
  were
• 30:17
  at
• 30:17
  like
• 30:17
  a
• 30:17
  vendor's
• 30:18
  market
• 30:18
  kind
• 30:19
  of
• 30:19
  thing
• 30:19
  and
• 30:19
  I
• 30:19
  was
• 30:20
  laying
• 30:20
  on
• 30:20
  the
• 30:20
  little
• 30:20
  massage
• 30:21
  table,
• 30:21
  but
• 30:22
  the
• 30:22
  lady
• 30:22
  next
• 30:22
  to
• 30:23
  me
• 30:23
  was
• 30:23
  so
• 30:25
  anxious
• 30:25
  and
• 30:26
  like,
• 30:26
  I
• 30:27
  was.
• 30:27
  Hey,
• 30:28
  you
• 30:28
  felt
• 30:28
  it?
• 30:28
  You
• 30:28
  felt.
• 30:29
  I
• 30:29
  was
• 30:29
  feeling
• 30:30
  it.
• 30:30
  I
• 30:30
  was
• 30:30
  like,
• 30:30
  I
• 30:30
  need
• 30:30
  my
• 30:31
  little
• 30:31
  pendulum.
• 30:31
  I
• 30:32
  need
• 30:32
  to
• 30:32
  be
• 30:32
  able
• 30:32
  to
• 30:32
  fight
• 30:32
  this.
• 30:33
  Like,
• 30:33
  I
• 30:33
  was
• 30:33
  like,
• 30:34
  I'm
• 30:34
  like
• 30:34
  trying
• 30:34
  to
• 30:35
  relax.
• 30:36
  And
• 30:36
  it
• 30:36
  was
• 30:36
  just.
• 30:37
  It
• 30:37
  was
• 30:37
  a
• 30:37
  lot.
• 30:37
  It
• 30:38
  was
• 30:38
  overwhelming
• 30:39
  for
• 30:39
  just
• 30:39
  a
• 30:39
  minute.
• 30:40
  And
• 30:40
  then.
• 30:40
  So
• 30:40
  that's
• 30:41
  why
• 30:41
  I
• 30:41
  started
• 30:41
  that
• 30:41
  conversation,
• 30:42
  to
• 30:42
  try
• 30:42
  to
• 30:42
  get
• 30:42
  that
• 30:43
  other
• 30:43
  lady.
• 30:43
  And
• 30:43
  she
• 30:43
  did.
• 30:44
  She
• 30:44
  heard
• 30:44
  what
• 30:44
  was
• 30:44
  going
• 30:45
  on
• 30:45
  and
• 30:45
  she
• 30:45
  kind
• 30:45
  of.
• 30:45
  I
• 30:45
  saw
• 30:46
  her
• 30:46
  take
• 30:46
  a
• 30:46
  couple
• 30:46
  deep
• 30:47
  breaths
• 30:47
  and
• 30:47
  I
• 30:47
  was
• 30:48
  like,
• 30:48
  okay,
• 30:49
  good.
• 30:49
  Yeah,
• 30:50
  no,
• 30:50
  and
• 30:51
  I
• 30:51
  think
• 30:51
  that's
• 30:51
  a
• 30:51
  great
• 30:51
  point
• 30:52
  you
• 30:52
  bring
• 30:52
  up
• 30:52
  too,
• 30:52
  because
• 30:52
  I
• 30:52
  was
• 30:53
  actually
• 30:53
  just
• 30:53
  having.
• 30:54
  The
• 30:54
  other
• 30:54
  day
• 30:54
  I
• 30:54
  was
• 30:55
  having
• 30:55
  a.
• 30:55
  Recording,
• 30:55
  a
• 30:55
  podcast
• 30:56
  episode
• 30:56
  for
• 30:56
  my
• 30:57
  podcast,
• 30:57
  and
• 30:57
  like,
• 30:58
  I
• 30:58
  was
• 30:58
  just
• 30:58
  having
• 30:59
  like
• 30:59
  a
• 30:59
  crazy
• 31:00
  day.
• 31:00
  Like,
• 31:00
  I
• 31:00
  just
• 31:01
  felt
• 31:01
  like
• 31:01
  I
• 31:01
  was
• 31:01
  just
• 31:01
  like
• 31:02
  rushed
• 31:02
  and
• 31:04
  I
• 31:04
  just
• 31:04
  took
• 31:04
  like,
• 31:05
  before
• 31:05
  that
• 31:05
  we.
• 31:05
  I
• 31:06
  recorded
• 31:06
  this
• 31:06
  episode
• 31:06
  with
• 31:07
  this
• 31:07
  woman.
• 31:08
  I
• 31:08
  just
• 31:08
  sat
• 31:08
  there
• 31:08
  for
• 31:09
  like,
• 31:09
  literally
• 31:09
  10
• 31:09
  seconds
• 31:10
  and
• 31:10
  just.
• 31:10
  Just
• 31:10
  like
• 31:10
  took
• 31:11
  a
• 31:11
  couple
• 31:11
  of
• 31:11
  like,
• 31:12
  deep
• 31:12
  breaths
• 31:12
  and
• 31:13
  that,
• 31:13
  like,
• 31:13
  totally
• 31:14
  reset
• 31:14
  me.
• 31:14
  And
• 31:15
  if
• 31:15
  you
• 31:15
  try
• 31:15
  to
• 31:15
  find
• 31:16
  those,
• 31:16
  like,
• 31:17
  I've
• 31:17
  like,
• 31:17
  micro
• 31:18
  moments
• 31:18
  through
• 31:18
  the
• 31:19
  day
• 31:19
  to
• 31:20
  just
• 31:20
  do
• 31:20
  something,
• 31:21
  and
• 31:21
  it
• 31:21
  doesn't
• 31:21
  have
• 31:21
  to
• 31:21
  be
• 31:22
  deep
• 31:22
  breathing.
• 31:22
  It
• 31:22
  could
• 31:22
  be
• 31:22
  whatever
• 31:23
  works
• 31:23
  for
• 31:23
  you.
• 31:23
  It
• 31:24
  could
• 31:24
  be
• 31:24
  going
• 31:25
  for
• 31:25
  a
• 31:25
  walk.
• 31:25
  It
• 31:25
  could
• 31:26
  be
• 31:26
  taking.
• 31:27
  Not
• 31:27
  being
• 31:27
  on
• 31:27
  a
• 31:27
  screen.
• 31:28
  It
• 31:28
  could
• 31:28
  be,
• 31:29
  you
• 31:29
  know,
• 31:30
  just,
• 31:30
  you
• 31:30
  know,
• 31:31
  drinking
• 31:31
  some
• 31:31
  water,
• 31:32
  like,
• 31:32
  you
• 31:32
  know,
• 31:33
  water,
• 31:33
  you
• 31:33
  know,
• 31:33
  like,
• 31:33
  it
• 31:34
  could
• 31:34
  be
• 31:34
  anything
• 31:34
  that
• 31:35
  just
• 31:35
  resets
• 31:36
  you.
• 31:36
  I
• 31:37
  think
• 31:37
  that
• 31:37
  helps.
• 31:38
  It
• 31:38
  was
• 31:38
  like,
• 31:39
  so
• 31:39
  simple,
• 31:40
  but
• 31:40
  it
• 31:40
  helped
• 31:40
  me,
• 31:41
  like,
• 31:41
  so
• 31:41
  tremendously.
• 31:42
  Like,
• 31:42
  and
• 31:42
  it
• 31:43
  impacted
• 31:43
  the
• 31:43
  rest
• 31:43
  of
• 31:43
  my,
• 31:44
  like
• 31:44
  the
• 31:44
  rest
• 31:44
  of
• 31:44
  the
• 31:44
  day
• 31:44
  I
• 31:44
  was
• 31:45
  good.
• 31:45
  Like,
• 31:46
  so
• 31:46
  those
• 31:46
  little
• 31:47
  resets,
• 31:47
  I
• 31:47
  think
• 31:48
  are
• 31:48
  so
• 31:48
  important
• 31:48
  to
• 31:49
  do
• 31:49
  when
• 31:49
  you,
• 31:49
  like
• 31:50
  immediately,
• 31:51
  you
• 31:51
  know.
• 31:52
  Oh,
• 31:52
  yeah,
• 31:53
  don't
• 31:54
  like,
• 31:54
  let
• 31:54
  it
• 31:54
  slide,
• 31:55
  you
• 31:55
  know.
• 31:56
  Right.
• 31:56
  And
• 31:56
  you're
• 31:56
  literally
• 31:57
  bringing
• 31:57
  me
• 31:57
  back
• 31:57
  to
• 31:58
  so
• 31:58
  many
• 31:58
  of
• 31:58
  my
• 31:58
  different
• 31:58
  episodes
• 31:59
  because
• 31:59
  I.
• 32:00
  A
• 32:00
  whole
• 32:01
  episode,
• 32:01
  almost
• 32:01
  like,
• 32:02
  how
• 32:02
  to
• 32:02
  reset
• 32:02
  in
• 32:03
  30
• 32:03
  seconds.
• 32:03
  This
• 32:03
  girl
• 32:04
  comes
• 32:04
  on.
• 32:04
  It
• 32:05
  doesn't
• 32:05
  take
• 32:05
  long.
• 32:06
  No,
• 32:06
  the
• 32:07
  30
• 32:07
  seconds
• 32:07
  throughout
• 32:08
  the
• 32:08
  day
• 32:08
  where
• 32:08
  you
• 32:08
  just
• 32:09
  Take
• 32:09
  a
• 32:09
  deep
• 32:09
  breath.
• 32:10
  Or
• 32:10
  you
• 32:10
  just
• 32:11
  close
• 32:11
  your
• 32:12
  eyes
• 32:12
  and
• 32:12
  just
• 32:13
  literally
• 32:13
  look
• 32:13
  back
• 32:14
  and
• 32:14
  forth.
• 32:14
  Like
• 32:15
  just
• 32:15
  have
• 32:15
  your
• 32:16
  eyes
• 32:16
  travel
• 32:16
  back
• 32:17
  and
• 32:17
  forth,
• 32:17
  back
• 32:17
  and
• 32:17
  forth,
• 32:18
  back
• 32:18
  and
• 32:18
  forth.
• 32:18
  I
• 32:18
  mean,
• 32:19
  that's
• 32:20
  so
• 32:20
  just
• 32:20
  calming
• 32:21
  to
• 32:21
  your
• 32:21
  nervous
• 32:22
  system.
• 32:22
  Humming
• 32:23
  a
• 32:23
  song.
• 32:24
  I
• 32:24
  mean,
• 32:24
  I,
• 32:24
  I
• 32:25
  love
• 32:25
  this
• 32:25
  because
• 32:25
  I'm
• 32:25
  sure
• 32:26
  the
• 32:26
  listeners
• 32:26
  like,
• 32:26
  oh,
• 32:26
  what
• 32:27
  can
• 32:27
  I
• 32:27
  do
• 32:27
  in
• 32:27
  30
• 32:27
  seconds
• 32:28
  to
• 32:28
  reset?
• 32:28
  But
• 32:29
  breathing,
• 32:30
  you
• 32:30
  mentioned
• 32:30
  breathing.
• 32:31
  Looking
• 32:32
  back
• 32:32
  and
• 32:32
  forth,
• 32:33
  yawning,
• 32:33
  making
• 32:34
  yourself
• 32:34
  yawn,
• 32:35
  or
• 32:35
  humming.
• 32:36
  Because
• 32:36
  that
• 32:37
  all
• 32:37
  stimulates
• 32:37
  that
• 32:38
  vagus
• 32:38
  nerve.
• 32:39
  Yes.
• 32:40
  You
• 32:40
  know,
• 32:41
  anything
• 32:41
  that
• 32:41
  you
• 32:41
  can
• 32:42
  do
• 32:42
  that
• 32:42
  is
• 32:42
  like
• 32:43
  vibrational
• 32:43
  in
• 32:44
  your
• 32:44
  body.
• 32:44
  A
• 32:44
  little
• 32:44
  shake,
• 32:45
  shake
• 32:46
  it
• 32:46
  off.
• 32:46
  Yep.
• 32:47
  Anything
• 32:48
  vibrational
• 32:48
  is
• 32:49
  good
• 32:49
  for
• 32:49
  your
• 32:49
  body.
• 32:50
  And
• 32:50
  then
• 32:50
  if
• 32:50
  you
• 32:50
  can't,
• 32:51
  sometimes
• 32:51
  it's,
• 32:52
  you
• 32:52
  know,
• 32:52
  you're
• 32:52
  not
• 32:52
  going
• 32:52
  to
• 32:53
  sit
• 32:53
  there
• 32:53
  in
• 32:53
  an
• 32:53
  office
• 32:53
  and
• 32:54
  be
• 32:54
  like,
• 32:55
  you
• 32:55
  know,
• 32:56
  I,
• 32:57
  I
• 32:57
  would
• 32:57
  personally,
• 32:58
  I.
• 32:58
  Know
• 32:58
  I,
• 32:58
  I
• 32:59
  have
• 32:59
  no
• 32:59
  shame.
• 32:59
  I
• 32:59
  would
• 32:59
  definitely
• 33:00
  do
• 33:00
  that.
• 33:00
  There's
• 33:01
  no
• 33:01
  shame
• 33:01
  in
• 33:01
  that
• 33:02
  for
• 33:02
  me.
• 33:02
  But
• 33:03
  you
• 33:03
  know,
• 33:03
  if
• 33:03
  you're
• 33:03
  in
• 33:04
  a
• 33:04
  situation
• 33:04
  where
• 33:04
  it
• 33:04
  doesn't
• 33:05
  seem
• 33:05
  appropriate,
• 33:06
  you
• 33:06
  know,
• 33:07
  it's
• 33:07
  like
• 33:08
  anything.
• 33:08
  Wiggle
• 33:09
  your
• 33:09
  toes
• 33:09
  and
• 33:09
  be
• 33:10
  conscious
• 33:10
  of
• 33:11
  your
• 33:11
  toes
• 33:11
  on
• 33:11
  the
• 33:12
  floor
• 33:12
  or
• 33:12
  in
• 33:12
  your
• 33:13
  shoes.
• 33:14
  You
• 33:14
  know,
• 33:14
  just
• 33:14
  really.
• 33:16
  That's
• 33:16
  enough.
• 33:16
  That's
• 33:16
  another
• 33:17
  set
• 33:17
  to
• 33:17
  reset
• 33:18
  is
• 33:18
  just
• 33:19
  being
• 33:19
  conscious
• 33:20
  of
• 33:20
  anything.
• 33:21
  Any
• 33:21
  sense.
• 33:22
  So
• 33:22
  like
• 33:22
  they
• 33:23
  do
• 33:23
  the
• 33:23
  5,
• 33:23
  4,
• 33:23
  3,
• 33:24
  2,
• 33:24
  1
• 33:24
  method.
• 33:28
  Yeah.
• 33:28
  The
• 33:28
  grounding
• 33:29
  techniques,
• 33:29
  but
• 33:29
  those
• 33:30
  are
• 33:30
  important.
• 33:30
  Like
• 33:30
  if
• 33:31
  you're
• 33:31
  sitting
• 33:31
  in
• 33:32
  church
• 33:32
  and
• 33:32
  you're
• 33:32
  getting
• 33:33
  anxious
• 33:33
  or
• 33:33
  something,
• 33:34
  it's
• 33:34
  like,
• 33:35
  feel
• 33:35
  your
• 33:35
  feet,
• 33:36
  you
• 33:36
  know,
• 33:36
  feel
• 33:36
  your
• 33:37
  calf
• 33:37
  muscles.
• 33:38
  That's
• 33:38
  another
• 33:38
  one
• 33:38
  I
• 33:38
  really
• 33:39
  like.
• 33:39
  Especially
• 33:39
  if
• 33:40
  you
• 33:40
  walk
• 33:41
  a
• 33:41
  lot
• 33:41
  and
• 33:41
  move
• 33:41
  a
• 33:41
  lot
• 33:42
  and
• 33:42
  then
• 33:42
  all
• 33:42
  of
• 33:42
  a
• 33:42
  sudden
• 33:42
  you're
• 33:43
  made
• 33:43
  to
• 33:43
  sit
• 33:43
  still.
• 33:44
  Is
• 33:45
  doing
• 33:45
  that
• 33:45
  starting
• 33:46
  at
• 33:46
  the
• 33:46
  bottom
• 33:46
  of
• 33:46
  your
• 33:46
  feet
• 33:46
  and
• 33:47
  clenching
• 33:47
  every
• 33:47
  muscle
• 33:48
  and
• 33:48
  then
• 33:48
  relaxing
• 33:48
  it
• 33:49
  and
• 33:49
  then
• 33:49
  going
• 33:49
  in
• 33:49
  calves
• 33:50
  and
• 33:50
  relaxing
• 33:50
  it.
• 33:51
  And
• 33:51
  then
• 33:51
  your
• 33:51
  cat,
• 33:51
  you
• 33:51
  know,
• 33:52
  your
• 33:52
  thighs
• 33:52
  and
• 33:52
  relax
• 33:53
  it.
• 33:53
  By
• 33:53
  the
• 33:54
  time
• 33:54
  you
• 33:54
  get
• 33:54
  up
• 33:54
  to
• 33:54
  your
• 33:55
  shoulders
• 33:55
  and
• 33:55
  you're
• 33:55
  tightening
• 33:56
  your
• 33:56
  shoulders
• 33:56
  and
• 33:56
  relaxing
• 33:57
  you
• 33:57
  really
• 33:57
  almost
• 33:58
  asleep.
• 34:00
  That's
• 34:00
  awesome.
• 34:00
  I
• 34:01
  love
• 34:01
  that.
• 34:01
  Yeah,
• 34:02
  that's
• 34:02
  a
• 34:02
  good
• 34:02
  one.
• 34:03
  So.
• 34:04
  So.
• 34:04
  Wow.
• 34:04
  We.
• 34:05
  Okay.
• 34:05
  Look
• 34:06
  at
• 34:06
  all
• 34:06
  those
• 34:06
  little
• 34:06
  tips.
• 34:07
  That's.
• 34:07
  I
• 34:07
  know,
• 34:07
  I
• 34:08
  know.
• 34:08
  My
• 34:08
  biggest
• 34:08
  one.
• 34:09
  I
• 34:09
  will
• 34:09
  say.
• 34:09
  Sorry,
• 34:09
  I
• 34:10
  didn't
• 34:10
  mean
• 34:10
  to
• 34:10
  cut
• 34:10
  you
• 34:10
  off.
• 34:10
  No,
• 34:11
  go
• 34:11
  for
• 34:11
  it.
• 34:11
  My
• 34:12
  biggest
• 34:12
  one,
• 34:12
  honestly
• 34:13
  in.
• 34:13
  And
• 34:14
  I'm,
• 34:14
  you
• 34:14
  know,
• 34:14
  we
• 34:14
  were
• 34:15
  just
• 34:15
  talking.
• 34:15
  I'm
• 34:15
  a
• 34:15
  warm
• 34:15
  weather
• 34:16
  person.
• 34:16
  But
• 34:16
  even
• 34:16
  when
• 34:17
  it's
• 34:17
  winter,
• 34:18
  go
• 34:18
  outside.
• 34:19
  Like
• 34:19
  if
• 34:19
  you
• 34:20
  have
• 34:20
  two
• 34:20
  seconds,
• 34:20
  like
• 34:21
  even
• 34:21
  for
• 34:22
  like
• 34:22
  five
• 34:22
  minutes
• 34:22
  and
• 34:23
  just
• 34:23
  breathe.
• 34:23
  Like
• 34:24
  go
• 34:24
  out.
• 34:24
  Like
• 34:24
  be
• 34:25
  not
• 34:25
  in
• 34:25
  a
• 34:26
  room.
• 34:26
  Like
• 34:27
  just
• 34:27
  go
• 34:27
  into.
• 34:27
  Like,
• 34:28
  it
• 34:28
  doesn't
• 34:28
  even
• 34:29
  have
• 34:29
  to
• 34:29
  be.
• 34:29
  Like
• 34:29
  nature
• 34:30
  could
• 34:30
  just
• 34:30
  Be
• 34:30
  like,
• 34:30
  outside
• 34:31
  in
• 34:31
  the
• 34:31
  world,
• 34:32
  like
• 34:32
  in
• 34:32
  your
• 34:33
  environment.
• 34:33
  You
• 34:33
  know,
• 34:34
  I
• 34:34
  think
• 34:34
  just
• 34:34
  going
• 34:35
  outside
• 34:35
  is
• 34:36
  super
• 34:36
  important.
• 34:36
  Like,
• 34:37
  you
• 34:37
  know,
• 34:37
  even
• 34:37
  if
• 34:38
  it's
• 34:38
  just
• 34:38
  for
• 34:38
  a
• 34:39
  couple
• 34:39
  minutes
• 34:39
  or
• 34:40
  even
• 34:41
  a
• 34:41
  minute,
• 34:41
  30
• 34:41
  seconds.
• 34:42
  30
• 34:42
  anything.
• 34:43
  I'm
• 34:43
  really
• 34:43
  big
• 34:44
  on
• 34:44
  that.
• 34:44
  I
• 34:45
  am
• 34:45
  really
• 34:45
  bad
• 34:45
  about
• 34:46
  drinking
• 34:46
  water,
• 34:46
  and
• 34:47
  I
• 34:47
  know
• 34:47
  I
• 34:47
  have
• 34:47
  to,
• 34:48
  but
• 34:48
  I'm
• 34:48
  really
• 34:48
  bad
• 34:48
  about
• 34:48
  it.
• 34:49
  So
• 34:49
  if
• 34:49
  I'm
• 34:49
  sitting
• 34:49
  and
• 34:49
  I
• 34:50
  know
• 34:50
  it's
• 34:50
  going
• 34:50
  to
• 34:50
  be
• 34:50
  a
• 34:50
  long
• 34:50
  day
• 34:50
  doing
• 34:51
  podcasts,
• 34:52
  I'll
• 34:53
  set
• 34:53
  my
• 34:53
  alarm
• 34:53
  and
• 34:54
  I
• 34:54
  will
• 34:54
  go
• 34:54
  and
• 34:54
  I
• 34:54
  will
• 34:54
  grab
• 34:55
  a
• 34:55
  glass
• 34:55
  of
• 34:55
  water
• 34:55
  and
• 34:56
  I
• 34:56
  will
• 34:56
  just
• 34:56
  go
• 34:56
  outside
• 34:57
  and
• 34:57
  stand
• 34:57
  with
• 34:57
  my
• 34:58
  water.
• 34:58
  Sometimes
• 34:58
  I
• 34:58
  don't
• 34:58
  even
• 34:59
  drink
• 34:59
  it,
• 34:59
  which
• 34:59
  is
• 34:59
  really
• 34:59
  not
• 35:00
  good.
• 35:00
  But.
• 35:00
  But
• 35:01
  stare
• 35:01
  at.
• 35:01
  Just
• 35:01
  put
• 35:02
  my
• 35:02
  face
• 35:02
  in
• 35:02
  the
• 35:02
  sun.
• 35:03
  Yeah.
• 35:03
  Oh,
• 35:04
  yeah.
• 35:05
  Vitamin
• 35:06
  D.
• 35:06
  Yep.
• 35:08
  And
• 35:08
  they
• 35:08
  say
• 35:08
  for
• 35:09
  people
• 35:09
  that
• 35:09
  have,
• 35:10
  like,
• 35:10
  sleeping
• 35:10
  problems
• 35:10
  and
• 35:11
  everything
• 35:11
  that
• 35:11
  is
• 35:12
  the
• 35:12
  most
• 35:12
  critical
• 35:13
  thing
• 35:13
  to
• 35:13
  do
• 35:13
  is
• 35:13
  within
• 35:14
  one
• 35:14
  hour
• 35:14
  of
• 35:15
  waking
• 35:15
  is
• 35:15
  to
• 35:15
  get
• 35:16
  outside.
• 35:17
  Really.
• 35:17
  Okay.
• 35:18
  Because
• 35:18
  it's
• 35:19
  re.
• 35:19
  It's
• 35:19
  resets
• 35:20
  your
• 35:20
  circadian
• 35:20
  rhythm.
• 35:21
  Oh,
• 35:22
  inch.
• 35:22
  Very
• 35:22
  interesting.
• 35:23
  Yep.
• 35:24
  Your
• 35:24
  body
• 35:24
  has
• 35:24
  a
• 35:25
  very
• 35:25
  natural
• 35:25
  rhythm
• 35:26
  that
• 35:26
  it
• 35:26
  does
• 35:26
  things,
• 35:27
  and
• 35:27
  if
• 35:27
  it
• 35:27
  can
• 35:27
  see
• 35:27
  sunlight
• 35:28
  within
• 35:28
  an
• 35:28
  hour
• 35:29
  of
• 35:29
  waking,
• 35:29
  it
• 35:29
  resets
• 35:30
  that
• 35:30
  whole
• 35:31
  process.
• 35:32
  Interesting.
• 35:33
  And
• 35:33
  you
• 35:33
  know
• 35:33
  who
• 35:34
  told
• 35:34
  me
• 35:34
  that
• 35:34
  it
• 35:34
  wasn't
• 35:34
  a
• 35:35
  healer?
• 35:35
  It
• 35:35
  wasn't.
• 35:36
  Well,
• 35:36
  it
• 35:36
  was.
• 35:36
  It
• 35:36
  was
• 35:36
  a
• 35:36
  doctor,
• 35:37
  but
• 35:37
  when
• 35:38
  I
• 35:38
  had
• 35:38
  my
• 35:38
  stroke,
• 35:38
  it
• 35:39
  was
• 35:39
  the
• 35:39
  neurologist.
• 35:40
  Really
• 35:41
  very.
• 35:41
  And
• 35:41
  she
• 35:42
  told.
• 35:42
  Yes,
• 35:43
  she
• 35:43
  told
• 35:43
  me,
• 35:43
  you
• 35:44
  want
• 35:44
  to
• 35:44
  heal
• 35:44
  faster.
• 35:45
  Get
• 35:45
  outside
• 35:45
  every
• 35:46
  morning
• 35:46
  as
• 35:46
  soon
• 35:46
  as
• 35:47
  you
• 35:47
  wake
• 35:47
  up.
• 35:47
  The
• 35:47
  first
• 35:48
  thing
• 35:48
  you
• 35:48
  do
• 35:48
  within
• 35:48
  an
• 35:49
  hour,
• 35:50
  get
• 35:50
  the
• 35:50
  vitamin
• 35:51
  D
• 35:51
  and
• 35:51
  get
• 35:51
  the
• 35:52
  sunlight
• 35:52
  in
• 35:52
  your
• 35:53
  face
• 35:53
  then.
• 35:54
  And
• 35:54
  I
• 35:54
  thought
• 35:54
  that
• 35:54
  was
• 35:54
  interesting.
• 35:55
  But,
• 35:55
  yeah,
• 35:56
  it
• 35:56
  is
• 35:56
  very
• 35:56
  interesting
• 35:57
  because
• 35:57
  I
• 35:57
  actually
• 35:58
  a
• 35:58
  meeting
• 35:58
  with.
• 35:59
  She's
• 36:00
  a
• 36:00
  therapist
• 36:00
  and
• 36:00
  a
• 36:01
  sleep
• 36:01
  coach,
• 36:01
  and
• 36:01
  I
• 36:02
  wonder.
• 36:02
  She
• 36:02
  works
• 36:03
  with
• 36:03
  people
• 36:03
  to
• 36:03
  help
• 36:04
  them,
• 36:04
  you
• 36:04
  know,
• 36:04
  obviously,
• 36:05
  you
• 36:05
  know,
• 36:05
  monitor
• 36:06
  their
• 36:06
  sleep.
• 36:06
  Get
• 36:06
  great,
• 36:07
  get
• 36:07
  better
• 36:07
  sleep.
• 36:07
  Because
• 36:08
  sleep,
• 36:08
  I
• 36:08
  will
• 36:08
  say
• 36:09
  sleep
• 36:09
  is
• 36:10
  one
• 36:10
  of
• 36:11
  the
• 36:11
  most
• 36:11
  important
• 36:11
  things
• 36:11
  for
• 36:12
  your
• 36:12
  mental
• 36:12
  health.
• 36:13
  Like
• 36:13
  getting
• 36:14
  good
• 36:14
  sleep.
• 36:15
  Yeah.
• 36:15
  That's
• 36:15
  when
• 36:15
  your
• 36:15
  brain
• 36:16
  just,
• 36:16
  you
• 36:16
  know,
• 36:17
  like,
• 36:17
  gets
• 36:18
  rid
• 36:18
  of
• 36:18
  all
• 36:18
  the
• 36:19
  nonsense
• 36:19
  of
• 36:19
  the
• 36:19
  day.
• 36:20
  It's
• 36:21
  your
• 36:21
  time.
• 36:21
  And,
• 36:21
  like,
• 36:21
  I've
• 36:22
  been
• 36:22
  in
• 36:22
  points
• 36:23
  in
• 36:23
  my
• 36:23
  life
• 36:23
  where,
• 36:23
  like,
• 36:24
  I've
• 36:24
  struggled
• 36:25
  with
• 36:25
  sleep
• 36:25
  pretty
• 36:25
  much
• 36:26
  my
• 36:26
  whole
• 36:26
  adult
• 36:26
  life,
• 36:28
  which
• 36:28
  probably
• 36:28
  why
• 36:28
  I
• 36:29
  should
• 36:29
  probably
• 36:29
  hire
• 36:29
  this
• 36:29
  sleep
• 36:30
  coach.
• 36:30
  But
• 36:31
  I
• 36:31
  can
• 36:31
  tell
• 36:32
  my
• 36:33
  mental
• 36:33
  state,
• 36:34
  my
• 36:34
  body,
• 36:35
  when
• 36:36
  I
• 36:36
  don't
• 36:36
  get
• 36:37
  enough
• 36:37
  sleep.
• 36:37
  Like,
• 36:37
  it
• 36:38
  impacts
• 36:39
  me
• 36:39
  very,
• 36:39
  very,
• 36:40
  very
• 36:40
  deeply.
• 36:41
  Well,
• 36:42
  it's
• 36:42
  funny,
• 36:42
  when
• 36:42
  I
• 36:42
  had
• 36:43
  my
• 36:43
  stroke,
• 36:43
  they.
• 36:43
  That's
• 36:44
  when
• 36:44
  they
• 36:44
  found
• 36:44
  out
• 36:44
  I
• 36:44
  was
• 36:45
  in
• 36:45
  the
• 36:45
  ICU
• 36:45
  and
• 36:45
  I
• 36:46
  was
• 36:46
  right
• 36:46
  outside
• 36:46
  of
• 36:46
  the
• 36:46
  nurse's
• 36:47
  station,
• 36:47
  and
• 36:47
  that's
• 36:48
  when
• 36:48
  they
• 36:48
  realized
• 36:48
  how
• 36:48
  bad
• 36:48
  my
• 36:49
  Sleep
• 36:49
  apnea
• 36:49
  was.
• 36:49
  And
• 36:50
  I
• 36:50
  never
• 36:50
  knew
• 36:50
  it.
• 36:51
  And
• 36:51
  so
• 36:52
  I
• 36:52
  went
• 36:52
  through
• 36:52
  the
• 36:52
  sleep
• 36:53
  study
• 36:53
  and
• 36:53
  everything
• 36:53
  and
• 36:54
  they
• 36:54
  said
• 36:54
  I
• 36:54
  was.
• 36:54
  I
• 36:55
  stopped
• 36:55
  breathing
• 36:56
  32
• 36:57
  times
• 36:57
  an
• 36:57
  hour
• 36:58
  for
• 36:58
  on
• 36:59
  average
• 36:59
  26
• 37:00
  seconds
• 37:00
  of
• 37:00
  time,
• 37:02
  which
• 37:02
  meant
• 37:02
  that
• 37:03
  25
• 37:03
  of
• 37:03
  my
• 37:04
  life
• 37:04
  I
• 37:04
  was
• 37:04
  gasping
• 37:05
  for
• 37:05
  breath,
• 37:06
  like
• 37:06
  while
• 37:06
  I
• 37:06
  was
• 37:06
  sleeping.
• 37:07
  Yeah,
• 37:07
  it
• 37:08
  was
• 37:08
  absolutely
• 37:08
  crazy.
• 37:08
  So
• 37:09
  the
• 37:09
  best
• 37:09
  I
• 37:09
  had
• 37:10
  felt,
• 37:10
  and
• 37:11
  people
• 37:11
  laugh
• 37:11
  at
• 37:11
  me
• 37:12
  so
• 37:12
  hard
• 37:12
  when
• 37:12
  I
• 37:12
  say
• 37:12
  this,
• 37:12
  but
• 37:13
  I
• 37:13
  had
• 37:13
  a
• 37:13
  full
• 37:13
  blown
• 37:14
  stroke
• 37:14
  on
• 37:15
  a
• 37:15
  Monday.
• 37:16
  The
• 37:16
  best
• 37:16
  I
• 37:17
  felt
• 37:18
  in
• 37:18
  about
• 37:18
  20
• 37:18
  years
• 37:19
  was
• 37:19
  Wednesday
• 37:20
  morning
• 37:20
  when
• 37:20
  I
• 37:20
  woke
• 37:21
  up
• 37:21
  because
• 37:21
  they
• 37:22
  gave
• 37:22
  me
• 37:22
  you
• 37:22
  actually.
• 37:23
  Yeah,
• 37:23
  you
• 37:24
  were
• 37:24
  actually.
• 37:24
  They
• 37:24
  gave
• 37:24
  me.
• 37:25
  Yep.
• 37:25
  They
• 37:25
  gave
• 37:25
  me
• 37:26
  that
• 37:26
  CPAP
• 37:26
  machine
• 37:27
  in
• 37:27
  the
• 37:27
  hospital.
• 37:27
  And
• 37:28
  you
• 37:28
  would
• 37:28
  have
• 37:28
  thought
• 37:28
  two
• 37:28
  days
• 37:29
  after
• 37:29
  a
• 37:29
  stroke
• 37:29
  I
• 37:29
  would
• 37:29
  have
• 37:30
  been
• 37:30
  like,
• 37:30
  you
• 37:30
  know.
• 37:30
  Yeah,
• 37:30
  yeah.
• 37:31
  Like,
• 37:31
  no,
• 37:32
  I
• 37:32
  was
• 37:32
  like,
• 37:33
  yeah,
• 37:33
  my.
• 37:33
  No,
• 37:34
  my
• 37:34
  husband
• 37:34
  was
• 37:34
  like,
• 37:34
  are
• 37:34
  you
• 37:35
  gonna
• 37:35
  talk
• 37:35
  this
• 37:35
  much
• 37:35
  the
• 37:36
  rest
• 37:36
  of
• 37:36
  your
• 37:36
  life?
• 37:37
  That's
• 37:38
  so
• 37:38
  funny.
• 37:39
  Well,
• 37:39
  that's
• 37:40
  amazing.
• 37:40
  I
• 37:40
  mean
• 37:40
  like,
• 37:41
  as.
• 37:41
  I
• 37:41
  hate
• 37:41
  that
• 37:41
  you,
• 37:42
  I
• 37:42
  hate
• 37:42
  that
• 37:42
  you
• 37:42
  had
• 37:42
  to
• 37:42
  experience
• 37:43
  such
• 37:43
  a,
• 37:44
  you
• 37:44
  know,
• 37:44
  scary
• 37:44
  health
• 37:45
  issue.
• 37:46
  But
• 37:47
  you
• 37:47
  know,
• 37:48
  that's
• 37:48
  why
• 37:48
  that's
• 37:49
  a,
• 37:49
  that's
• 37:49
  crazy.
• 37:49
  That,
• 37:50
  yeah.
• 37:50
  Oh
• 37:50
  my
• 37:50
  God.
• 37:51
  That
• 37:51
  you.
• 37:51
  Yeah,
• 37:51
  it
• 37:51
  was
• 37:51
  a
• 37:52
  blessing.
• 37:52
  I
• 37:52
  mean,
• 37:52
  even
• 37:52
  the
• 37:53
  cardiologist
• 37:54
  was
• 37:54
  like,
• 37:54
  just
• 37:54
  that
• 37:55
  sleep
• 37:55
  pattern
• 37:55
  alone
• 37:56
  will
• 37:56
  give
• 37:56
  you
• 37:56
  a
• 37:56
  stroke.
• 37:57
  Your
• 37:57
  brain
• 37:57
  is
• 37:57
  literally
• 37:58
  starved.
• 37:58
  Starving
• 37:59
  for
• 37:59
  oxygen.
• 38:00
  Yeah.
• 38:00
  Starving
• 38:00
  for
• 38:00
  oxygen.
• 38:01
  And
• 38:01
  it's
• 38:01
  not
• 38:01
  resetting
• 38:02
  like
• 38:02
  you
• 38:02
  said.
• 38:03
  That's
• 38:03
  where
• 38:03
  all
• 38:03
  of
• 38:03
  your
• 38:03
  thoughts,
• 38:04
  all
• 38:04
  of
• 38:04
  your
• 38:04
  experiences,
• 38:05
  all
• 38:05
  of
• 38:05
  your
• 38:05
  emot.
• 38:06
  Everything
• 38:06
  for
• 38:07
  the
• 38:07
  day
• 38:07
  gets
• 38:08
  reorganized
• 38:08
  while
• 38:09
  you're
• 38:09
  sleeping.
• 38:10
  It's
• 38:10
  like
• 38:10
  I,
• 38:10
  it's
• 38:11
  like
• 38:11
  you
• 38:11
  get
• 38:11
  like,
• 38:11
  not
• 38:11
  like,
• 38:11
  I
• 38:12
  wouldn't
• 38:12
  say
• 38:12
  wiped
• 38:12
  clean,
• 38:13
  but
• 38:13
  that's,
• 38:13
  yeah,
• 38:14
  that's
• 38:14
  when
• 38:14
  you
• 38:14
  get
• 38:14
  all
• 38:15
  the,
• 38:15
  the
• 38:16
  stuff
• 38:16
  out.
• 38:16
  And
• 38:16
  that's
• 38:16
  why
• 38:17
  I
• 38:17
  think
• 38:17
  too,
• 38:17
  like,
• 38:17
  you
• 38:18
  know,
• 38:18
  when
• 38:18
  I
• 38:18
  think
• 38:18
  about
• 38:18
  like
• 38:19
  parenting
• 38:19
  and
• 38:19
  new
• 38:20
  parents
• 38:20
  that
• 38:20
  don't
• 38:20
  sleep
• 38:21
  and
• 38:21
  their
• 38:21
  sleep
• 38:21
  cycles
• 38:22
  are
• 38:22
  all
• 38:22
  off,
• 38:22
  I'm
• 38:23
  like,
• 38:23
  that's
• 38:23
  the
• 38:23
  most
• 38:24
  important
• 38:24
  time.
• 38:25
  You
• 38:25
  know
• 38:25
  what
• 38:25
  I
• 38:26
  mean?
• 38:26
  Because
• 38:26
  you,
• 38:26
  you're,
• 38:26
  you
• 38:26
  know,
• 38:27
  like,
• 38:27
  it's
• 38:27
  like
• 38:27
  I
• 38:27
  feel
• 38:27
  I,
• 38:28
  my
• 38:28
  heart
• 38:28
  goes
• 38:28
  out
• 38:28
  to
• 38:29
  them.
• 38:29
  I
• 38:29
  have
• 38:29
  a
• 38:29
  lot
• 38:29
  of
• 38:29
  empathy
• 38:30
  because,
• 38:31
  you
• 38:31
  know,
• 38:31
  I,
• 38:32
  I,
• 38:32
  I
• 38:32
  don't
• 38:33
  have
• 38:33
  children,
• 38:33
  but
• 38:33
  I
• 38:34
  know
• 38:34
  people
• 38:34
  and
• 38:34
  friends
• 38:35
  of
• 38:35
  mine
• 38:35
  and
• 38:35
  it's
• 38:35
  like
• 38:36
  I
• 38:36
  tell
• 38:36
  them,
• 38:36
  I'm
• 38:37
  like,
• 38:37
  try
• 38:37
  as
• 38:38
  much
• 38:38
  as
• 38:38
  you
• 38:38
  can.
• 38:38
  Just
• 38:39
  sleep
• 38:39
  because
• 38:39
  you
• 38:39
  need
• 38:40
  it.
• 38:40
  Like,
• 38:41
  and
• 38:41
  also
• 38:41
  too
• 38:41
  something
• 38:42
  that
• 38:42
  I
• 38:42
  think
• 38:42
  my
• 38:43
  therapist
• 38:43
  told
• 38:43
  me
• 38:43
  or
• 38:43
  I
• 38:44
  just
• 38:44
  know
• 38:44
  from
• 38:44
  research,
• 38:44
  like,
• 38:45
  you
• 38:45
  have
• 38:46
  sleep
• 38:46
  debt.
• 38:46
  And
• 38:47
  it's
• 38:47
  like
• 38:47
  just
• 38:47
  so
• 38:47
  like,
• 38:48
  let's
• 38:48
  say
• 38:48
  for
• 38:48
  like
• 38:49
  edit
• 38:49
  it.
• 38:50
  It
• 38:50
  doesn't
• 38:50
  like,
• 38:52
  like
• 38:52
  sleeping
• 38:52
  about.
• 38:52
  Like,
• 38:53
  you
• 38:53
  know,
• 38:53
  like,
• 38:53
  it,
• 38:53
  you're
• 38:54
  pretty
• 38:54
  Much.
• 38:54
  Always.
• 38:54
  I
• 38:55
  feel
• 38:55
  like
• 38:55
  as
• 38:55
  human
• 38:55
  beings,
• 38:55
  we're
• 38:56
  always
• 38:56
  like
• 38:56
  in
• 38:57
  a
• 38:57
  sleep
• 38:57
  deficit.
• 38:58
  Like,
• 38:58
  like
• 38:59
  it's
• 38:59
  not,
• 38:59
  you
• 38:59
  know,
• 38:59
  it's
• 39:00
  not
• 39:00
  like
• 39:00
  one
• 39:00
  to
• 39:00
  one.
• 39:00
  It's
• 39:01
  like,
• 39:01
  you
• 39:01
  know
• 39:01
  what
• 39:01
  I
• 39:01
  mean?
• 39:02
  Like,
• 39:02
  it's.
• 39:02
  Our
• 39:02
  sleep
• 39:03
  is.
• 39:03
  We're
• 39:03
  pretty
• 39:04
  much
• 39:04
  always
• 39:04
  in
• 39:04
  a
• 39:04
  sleep
• 39:05
  deficit,
• 39:05
  which
• 39:05
  is
• 39:05
  very
• 39:06
  unfortunate
• 39:07
  because
• 39:08
  if
• 39:08
  you
• 39:08
  don't
• 39:08
  sleep
• 39:08
  well
• 39:09
  for
• 39:09
  like
• 39:09
  two
• 39:09
  nights
• 39:10
  and
• 39:10
  then
• 39:10
  you
• 39:10
  sleep
• 39:10
  well
• 39:11
  for
• 39:11
  a
• 39:11
  night,
• 39:11
  like,
• 39:11
  you're
• 39:11
  still
• 39:12
  in
• 39:12
  a
• 39:12
  deficit.
• 39:12
  Even
• 39:13
  though
• 39:13
  you
• 39:13
  might
• 39:13
  feel
• 39:14
  okay
• 39:15
  that
• 39:15
  fourth
• 39:15
  day,
• 39:16
  you're
• 39:17
  still
• 39:17
  in
• 39:17
  a
• 39:17
  sleep
• 39:17
  deficit.
• 39:18
  So,
• 39:18
  like,
• 39:18
  in
• 39:18
  order
• 39:19
  to
• 39:19
  really
• 39:19
  catch
• 39:19
  up
• 39:20
  on
• 39:20
  your
• 39:20
  sleep,
• 39:20
  like,
• 39:20
  I'm
• 39:21
  sure
• 39:21
  all
• 39:21
  of
• 39:21
  us
• 39:21
  would
• 39:21
  have
• 39:21
  to
• 39:22
  sleep
• 39:22
  for
• 39:22
  like
• 39:22
  months.
• 39:23
  You
• 39:23
  know,
• 39:25
  I'm
• 39:25
  a
• 39:25
  sleeper.
• 39:26
  I
• 39:26
  have
• 39:26
  to
• 39:26
  tell
• 39:26
  you,
• 39:26
  I
• 39:27
  love
• 39:27
  me
• 39:27
  some
• 39:28
  sleep.
• 39:28
  I
• 39:28
  love
• 39:29
  me
• 39:29
  some
• 39:29
  sleep.
• 39:30
  Oh,
• 39:30
  my
• 39:30
  gosh.
• 39:31
  Well,
• 39:31
  Danielle,
• 39:32
  this
• 39:32
  has
• 39:32
  been
• 39:32
  so
• 39:32
  much
• 39:33
  fun.
• 39:33
  I
• 39:33
  literally,
• 39:33
  I
• 39:34
  have
• 39:34
  so
• 39:34
  many
• 39:34
  more
• 39:34
  questions
• 39:35
  I
• 39:35
  want
• 39:35
  to
• 39:35
  ask
• 39:35
  you.
• 39:35
  I'm
• 39:35
  gonna
• 39:36
  have
• 39:36
  to
• 39:36
  bring
• 39:36
  you
• 39:36
  back
• 39:36
  for
• 39:36
  another
• 39:36
  episode.
• 39:37
  Yeah.
• 39:38
  Because
• 39:38
  I.
• 39:39
  We
• 39:39
  have
• 39:40
  so
• 39:40
  many.
• 39:40
  Yeah.
• 39:41
  You
• 39:41
  were
• 39:41
  on
• 39:41
  my
• 39:42
  podcast.
• 39:42
  I
• 39:42
  could
• 39:42
  talk.
• 39:43
  I
• 39:43
  feel
• 39:43
  like
• 39:43
  we
• 39:43
  could
• 39:43
  do
• 39:44
  this
• 39:44
  again.
• 39:44
  We'll
• 39:44
  do
• 39:44
  this
• 39:44
  again
• 39:45
  for
• 39:45
  sure.
• 39:47
  We
• 39:47
  will
• 39:48
  definitely
• 39:48
  do
• 39:48
  this
• 39:48
  again.
• 39:49
  So
• 39:50
  if
• 39:50
  people
• 39:50
  want
• 39:50
  to
• 39:51
  work
• 39:51
  with
• 39:51
  you,
• 39:51
  tell.
• 39:52
  Tell
• 39:52
  us
• 39:52
  about
• 39:52
  how
• 39:53
  that
• 39:53
  looks.
• 39:54
  What
• 39:54
  does
• 39:54
  that
• 39:54
  look
• 39:54
  like?
• 39:56
  You.
• 39:56
  Where
• 39:56
  they
• 39:56
  go
• 39:57
  to
• 39:57
  find
• 39:57
  me
• 39:57
  or
• 39:57
  just
• 39:57
  like
• 39:58
  my.
• 39:58
  Where
• 39:58
  they
• 39:58
  go
• 39:59
  to
• 39:59
  find
• 39:59
  you
• 39:59
  and
• 39:59
  what
• 39:59
  you
• 40:00
  do
• 40:00
  you
• 40:00
  have.
• 40:01
  Yeah,
• 40:02
  absolutely.
• 40:02
  Some
• 40:02
  of
• 40:03
  the
• 40:03
  best
• 40:03
  way,
• 40:03
  if
• 40:03
  you
• 40:03
  want
• 40:03
  to
• 40:04
  work
• 40:04
  with
• 40:04
  me
• 40:04
  is
• 40:04
  go
• 40:04
  to
• 40:04
  my
• 40:05
  website,
• 40:05
  Danielle
• 40:06
  zmft.com
• 40:08
  I
• 40:08
  have
• 40:08
  actually
• 40:08
  self
• 40:09
  paced
• 40:09
  programs
• 40:10
  if
• 40:10
  you
• 40:10
  want.
• 40:10
  If
• 40:10
  you
• 40:10
  feel
• 40:11
  like,
• 40:11
  you
• 40:11
  know,
• 40:11
  maybe
• 40:11
  you
• 40:11
  just
• 40:12
  want
• 40:12
  to
• 40:12
  learn
• 40:12
  a
• 40:12
  little
• 40:12
  bit
• 40:12
  about
• 40:12
  yourself.
• 40:13
  And
• 40:13
  they
• 40:13
  can
• 40:14
  do
• 40:14
  kind
• 40:14
  of
• 40:14
  online
• 40:14
  courses
• 40:15
  or
• 40:16
  I
• 40:16
  have
• 40:16
  personalized
• 40:17
  custom,
• 40:17
  which
• 40:18
  is
• 40:18
  I
• 40:18
  like
• 40:18
  to
• 40:18
  call
• 40:18
  your
• 40:19
  path.
• 40:19
  It's
• 40:19
  different
• 40:20
  paths
• 40:20
  that.
• 40:20
  And
• 40:21
  there's
• 40:21
  some
• 40:21
  options
• 40:22
  there.
• 40:22
  In
• 40:22
  my
• 40:22
  website,
• 40:23
  I'm
• 40:23
  also
• 40:23
  on
• 40:24
  all
• 40:24
  the
• 40:24
  socials,
• 40:25
  so
• 40:25
  Instagram,
• 40:26
  LinkedIn,
• 40:26
  Facebook,
• 40:27
  X.
• 40:28
  You
• 40:28
  know,
• 40:29
  you
• 40:29
  can
• 40:29
  find
• 40:29
  me
• 40:29
  anywhere.
• 40:30
  My
• 40:30
  handles.
• 40:30
  Danielle
• 40:31
  Zmft.
• 40:32
  Okay.
• 40:33
  Perfect.
• 40:34
  Okay.
• 40:35
  And
• 40:35
  I'm
• 40:35
  gonna.
• 40:35
  First
• 40:36
  of
• 40:36
  all,
• 40:36
  thank
• 40:36
  you
• 40:36
  so
• 40:36
  much
• 40:37
  for
• 40:37
  coming
• 40:37
  on.
• 40:38
  Thank
• 40:38
  you.
• 40:39
  You're
• 40:39
  welcome.
• 40:40
  Now,
• 40:40
  I'm
• 40:40
  gonna
• 40:41
  put
• 40:41
  you
• 40:41
  on
• 40:41
  the
• 40:41
  spot
• 40:41
  here
• 40:42
  because
• 40:42
  I
• 40:42
  want.
• 40:43
  Oh,
• 40:43
  boy.
• 40:45
  One
• 40:46
  big
• 40:46
  picture,
• 40:47
  words
• 40:47
  of
• 40:47
  wisdom.
• 40:48
  Something
• 40:48
  that
• 40:49
  the
• 40:49
  audience
• 40:49
  can
• 40:50
  carry
• 40:50
  with
• 40:50
  them
• 40:50
  throughout
• 40:51
  the
• 40:51
  day
• 40:51
  to
• 40:51
  make
• 40:51
  their
• 40:52
  day
• 40:52
  a
• 40:52
  little
• 40:52
  better.
• 40:52
  If
• 40:53
  you
• 40:53
  could
• 40:53
  tell
• 40:53
  them
• 40:53
  one
• 40:53
  thing,
• 40:53
  what
• 40:54
  would
• 40:54
  it
• 40:54
  be?
• 40:54
  One
• 40:54
  thing.
• 40:54
  Oh.
• 40:55
  So
• 40:55
  I
• 40:55
  actually,
• 40:56
  it's
• 40:56
  so
• 40:56
  funny
• 40:56
  I
• 40:57
  said
• 40:57
  this
• 40:57
  on
• 40:57
  another.
• 40:58
  I
• 40:58
  was
• 40:58
  on
• 40:58
  somebody
• 40:58
  else's
• 40:59
  podcast
• 41:00
  the
• 41:01
  other
• 41:01
  day
• 41:01
  and
• 41:01
  I'm
• 41:01
  gonna
• 41:01
  use
• 41:02
  the
• 41:02
  same
• 41:02
  thing
• 41:02
  because
• 41:02
  it's.
• 41:03
  I
• 41:03
  think
• 41:03
  it's
• 41:03
  so
• 41:03
  powerful.
• 41:05
  So
• 41:05
  be
• 41:05
  very
• 41:06
  cognizant
• 41:07
  of
• 41:07
  I
• 41:08
  am
• 41:08
  statements
• 41:09
  and
• 41:09
  I
• 41:10
  feel
• 41:10
  statements.
• 41:11
  So
• 41:11
  when
• 41:11
  you
• 41:11
  say,
• 41:12
  oh
• 41:12
  my
• 41:13
  gosh,
• 41:13
  I'm
• 41:14
  anxious
• 41:14
  right
• 41:14
  now
• 41:15
  versus
• 41:16
  I
• 41:16
  feel
• 41:17
  anxious
• 41:17
  when
• 41:17
  you're,
• 41:18
  when
• 41:18
  you're
• 41:19
  having
• 41:19
  a
• 41:19
  feeling.
• 41:20
  I'm
• 41:20
  going
• 41:20
  to
• 41:21
  try
• 41:21
  to
• 41:21
  empower
• 41:22
  everybody
• 41:22
  to
• 41:23
  use
• 41:23
  I
• 41:23
  feel
• 41:24
  statements
• 41:25
  because
• 41:25
  those
• 41:25
  that
• 41:26
  statement
• 41:26
  is
• 41:27
  number
• 41:27
  one,
• 41:27
  recognize
• 41:28
  the
• 41:28
  feeling.
• 41:29
  You're
• 41:29
  then
• 41:29
  processing
• 41:30
  it.
• 41:30
  And
• 41:31
  also
• 41:31
  I
• 41:31
  feel
• 41:32
  is
• 41:32
  not
• 41:32
  tied
• 41:33
  to
• 41:33
  your
• 41:33
  identity.
• 41:34
  I
• 41:34
  am
• 41:35
  statements
• 41:35
  are
• 41:35
  tied
• 41:36
  to
• 41:36
  your
• 41:36
  identity.
• 41:37
  So
• 41:37
  if
• 41:37
  you
• 41:37
  are
• 41:38
  saying
• 41:38
  I
• 41:38
  am
• 41:39
  even
• 41:39
  me
• 41:39
  saying
• 41:39
  this
• 41:40
  now,
• 41:40
  I'm
• 41:40
  actually
• 41:40
  kind
• 41:41
  of
• 41:41
  cringing
• 41:41
  like
• 41:42
  I
• 41:42
  am
• 41:42
  anxious,
• 41:43
  I
• 41:43
  am
• 41:43
  fearful,
• 41:44
  I
• 41:44
  am
• 41:44
  doubtful.
• 41:45
  You're
• 41:45
  tying
• 41:46
  that
• 41:46
  to
• 41:46
  you,
• 41:46
  who
• 41:46
  you
• 41:47
  are.
• 41:47
  And
• 41:47
  that's
• 41:47
  not
• 41:47
  who
• 41:48
  you
• 41:48
  are.
• 41:49
  That's
• 41:49
  what
• 41:49
  not
• 41:49
  if
• 41:49
  you're
• 41:50
  saying
• 41:50
  negative
• 41:50
  things.
• 41:50
  Right?
• 41:51
  Yeah,
• 41:51
  that's
• 41:51
  what
• 41:52
  you're
• 41:52
  feeling,
• 41:53
  but
• 41:53
  that's
• 41:53
  not
• 41:53
  who
• 41:54
  you
• 41:54
  are.
• 41:54
  But
• 41:54
  if
• 41:55
  you
• 41:55
  want
• 41:55
  to
• 41:55
  say
• 41:55
  like
• 41:55
  I
• 41:56
  am
• 41:56
  confident,
• 41:56
  of
• 41:57
  course,
• 41:57
  go
• 41:57
  for
• 41:57
  it.
• 41:58
  I,
• 41:58
  you
• 41:58
  know,
• 41:59
  I
• 41:59
  am
• 41:59
  whole.
• 41:59
  I
• 42:00
  am,
• 42:00
  you
• 42:00
  know,
• 42:00
  abundant.
• 42:01
  I
• 42:01
  mean,
• 42:02
  yes.
• 42:02
  Say
• 42:02
  though
• 42:03
  all
• 42:03
  those
• 42:03
  I
• 42:03
  state
• 42:03
  all
• 42:04
  the
• 42:04
  positive
• 42:04
  I
• 42:04
  statements,
• 42:05
  but
• 42:05
  especially
• 42:06
  when
• 42:06
  it
• 42:06
  comes
• 42:06
  to
• 42:07
  feelings
• 42:07
  and
• 42:07
  negative
• 42:08
  feelings
• 42:08
  or
• 42:08
  just
• 42:09
  feelings
• 42:09
  of
• 42:09
  self
• 42:10
  doubt
• 42:10
  or
• 42:10
  just
• 42:10
  stress
• 42:11
  because
• 42:11
  we
• 42:11
  all
• 42:12
  live
• 42:12
  in
• 42:12
  a
• 42:12
  crazy
• 42:13
  world.
• 42:14
  Try
• 42:14
  to
• 42:15
  use
• 42:15
  I
• 42:15
  feel
• 42:15
  statements
• 42:16
  because
• 42:17
  you'll
• 42:17
  see
• 42:17
  I
• 42:18
  my
• 42:18
  world,
• 42:19
  you,
• 42:19
  you
• 42:20
  feel
• 42:20
  the
• 42:20
  impact
• 42:20
  of
• 42:20
  it.
• 42:22
  You
• 42:22
  know,
• 42:22
  you,
• 42:22
  because
• 42:23
  you're
• 42:23
  not,
• 42:23
  you're
• 42:24
  not
• 42:24
  your
• 42:26
  current
• 42:26
  state.
• 42:26
  Feelings
• 42:27
  are
• 42:27
  fleeting.
• 42:28
  There
• 42:28
  shouldn't
• 42:28
  be
• 42:28
  tied
• 42:29
  to
• 42:29
  your
• 42:29
  identity.
• 42:30
  Right.
• 42:30
  Absolutely.
• 42:31
  Good
• 42:32
  advice.
• 42:32
  I
• 42:32
  love
• 42:33
  that
• 42:33
  I
• 42:33
  just
• 42:33
  put
• 42:33
  a
• 42:34
  post
• 42:34
  up
• 42:34
  the
• 42:34
  other
• 42:34
  day
• 42:34
  and
• 42:35
  it
• 42:35
  was
• 42:35
  like
• 42:35
  how
• 42:35
  powerful
• 42:36
  your
• 42:36
  words
• 42:36
  are
• 42:36
  and
• 42:37
  what
• 42:37
  you
• 42:37
  say
• 42:37
  to
• 42:37
  yourself
• 42:38
  makes
• 42:39
  all
• 42:39
  the
• 42:39
  difference
• 42:40
  in
• 42:40
  your
• 42:40
  life.
• 42:41
  All
• 42:41
  the
• 42:41
  difference.
• 42:42
  Well,
• 42:42
  they
• 42:42
  say.
• 42:43
  Oh,
• 42:43
  sorry,
• 42:44
  no,
• 42:44
  go
• 42:44
  ahead,
• 42:44
  go
• 42:45
  ahead.
• 42:45
  They
• 42:46
  say
• 42:46
  they
• 42:46
  call
• 42:46
  it
• 42:47
  spelling
• 42:47
  for
• 42:47
  a
• 42:48
  reason
• 42:48
  because
• 42:48
  you're
• 42:48
  casting
• 42:49
  spells.
• 42:50
  Is
• 42:50
  spelling.
• 42:51
  Yep,
• 42:52
  absolutely.
• 42:53
  Well,
• 42:54
  thank
• 42:54
  you
• 42:54
  so
• 42:54
  much
• 42:54
  again
• 42:55
  for
• 42:55
  coming
• 42:55
  on.
• 42:55
  I
• 42:56
  appreciate
• 42:56
  you.
• 42:57
  I
• 42:58
  appreciate
• 42:58
  you
• 42:58
  too,
• 42:58
  Tammy.
• 42:59
  It's
• 42:59
  been
• 42:59
  a
• 42:59
  pleasure.
• 43:00
  Yes.
• 43:00
  And
• 43:01
  for
• 43:01
  everybody
• 43:01
  else
• 43:01
  out
• 43:01
  there
• 43:02
  listening,
• 43:03
  I
• 43:03
  know
• 43:03
  we
• 43:04
  were
• 43:04
  all
• 43:04
  over
• 43:04
  the
• 43:04
  place,
• 43:05
  but
• 43:05
  that's
• 43:05
  just
• 43:05
  how
• 43:05
  it
• 43:06
  goes
• 43:06
  when
• 43:06
  you
• 43:06
  have
• 43:06
  so
• 43:06
  many
• 43:07
  fun
• 43:07
  things
• 43:07
  to
• 43:07
  talk
• 43:07
  about.
• 43:08
  I'm
• 43:08
  going
• 43:08
  to
• 43:08
  have
• 43:09
  to
• 43:09
  have
• 43:09
  Danielle
• 43:09
  back
• 43:10
  on
• 43:10
  here.
• 43:10
  We're
• 43:10
  going
• 43:10
  to
• 43:11
  have
• 43:11
  to
• 43:11
  talk
• 43:11
  about
• 43:11
  more.
• 43:12
  I
• 43:12
  love
• 43:12
  getting
• 43:12
  into
• 43:13
  the
• 43:13
  energy
• 43:13
  conversations
• 43:14
  with
• 43:14
  her.
• 43:14
  I
• 43:15
  know
• 43:15
  we,
• 43:15
  we
• 43:16
  are
• 43:16
  true
• 43:16
  believers
• 43:17
  in
• 43:17
  the
• 43:17
  fact
• 43:17
  that
• 43:17
  we
• 43:17
  are
• 43:17
  all
• 43:18
  energy
• 43:18
  and
• 43:19
  I
• 43:19
  would
• 43:19
  love
• 43:19
  for
• 43:19
  everybody,
• 43:20
  you
• 43:20
  know,
• 43:21
  check
• 43:21
  out
• 43:21
  the
• 43:21
  show
• 43:21
  notes,
• 43:22
  grab
• 43:22
  Danielle's,
• 43:23
  go
• 43:23
  check
• 43:23
  her
• 43:23
  out.
• 43:24
  And
• 43:24
  also
• 43:24
  if
• 43:24
  you
• 43:24
  are
• 43:25
  interested
• 43:25
  in
• 43:25
  a
• 43:25
  free
• 43:26
  energy
• 43:26
  scan
• 43:26
  to
• 43:27
  see
• 43:27
  where
• 43:27
  you
• 43:27
  sit
• 43:27
  energetically,
• 43:28
  I
• 43:29
  am
• 43:29
  more
• 43:29
  than
• 43:29
  welcome
• 43:30
  to
• 43:30
  give
• 43:31
  you
• 43:31
  one.
• 43:31
  So
• 43:31
  check
• 43:31
  that
• 43:32
  out
• 43:32
  in
• 43:32
  the
• 43:32
  show
• 43:32
  notes,
• 43:32
  too.
• 43:33
  And
• 43:33
  you
• 43:33
  all
• 43:33
  have
• 43:33
  a
• 43:33
  blessed
• 43:34
  day,
• 43:34
  and
• 43:34
  we
• 43:34
  will
• 43:35
  see
• 43:35
  you
• 43:35
  back
• 43:35
  next
• 43:35
  week.
• 43:37
  Bye.