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(VIDEO) MISTRESS MIA SAYS DON'T TRY TO CONVINCE A VANILLA · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:34
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:38
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today we can talk about some
0:43
really interesting things. So for starters, I was
0:51
approached by someone recently on Vet Life and the interesting
0:59
thing of it is he is 28, calls himself Adame incorrectly.
1:09
Anyway, I'm noticing his picture and there's something about his
1:15
picture that's off so I'm thinking.
1:20
I'm thinking that he is photoshopping his face pic onto
1:26
a different body. I don't know.
1:29
Either way, there's something very fishy about it because I
1:32
showed it to one of my friends and she's like, Oh yeah, that's
1:36
not right. Anyway, he wrote me and
1:44
basically implied that he would dominate me.
1:47
And sometimes, you know, I get that men think they could be
1:52
cute and they're going to dominate Mistress ma'am, but it
1:57
doesn't work that way. That's cute.
2:01
That's all it is. It's cute.
2:03
And when he said that, I said, boy, you're 28.
2:08
I've been dominating men before you were born.
2:11
So I think I could teach you a few things.
2:14
You know, I don't think you're going to teach me anything new
2:19
anyway, men. So again, the majority of our,
2:26
my listeners are men and that's great and wonderful.
2:29
Again, I I say that's super because you know, men are smart,
2:35
but they're idiots when it comes to women and it is what it is,
2:40
right? All right, So we have this one
2:43
little guy and I call him little Justin because he's not my Sissy
2:50
Justin. He has a thing he likes to
2:55
really be battered and abused so much that when he comes in, he
3:01
wants to be, you know, beaten, pushed against the house.
3:05
Like, yeah, he's like, I want you to just take all my money
3:09
and push me against the house and have your way with me.
3:12
And the man, He's like 90 lbs soaking wet if that.
3:18
Anyway, he said it would be awesome if I was basically
3:22
tossed against the house as soon as I get there and strip
3:27
searched. He said because he told me
3:30
something about how he wants to be in a cage so I automatically
3:34
think chastity. Well, he said, not in chastity,
3:38
but in a dog kennel or some dark confined area.
3:42
Before the session starts, I'd like to have my mouth covered
3:46
with cloth or have rope wrapped around my mouth so I can't say
3:50
no and be told and be told that I'm a dog.
3:57
I want to be in total deprivation.
3:59
Sound and sight, face sitting, slapping, spitting, It's all
4:03
good. Forced anal, whatever you want
4:05
to do to me. This guy has a little tiny butt
4:08
hole. He has a little tiny body.
4:10
There's no fucking way. So, OK, totally off that topic
4:16
because honestly, it's hilarious.
4:18
Abby took. Well, before we change the
4:21
subject, Abby took and had this tube.
4:25
It's a plastic tube. It's from Pampered Chef.
4:28
OK, for those of you that like to cook, it's just a cooking
4:32
utensil. But it's this silicone tube and
4:36
it has these little plastic spurs inside of them and it
4:42
almost looks like plastic thorns.
4:44
Anyway, funny shit. Ever.
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She's like, I knew these would fit Justin's Dick.
4:50
And I was like, what? She brought this, this little
4:55
tube and it's like this pig maybe, yeah, maybe 5 inches.
5:03
But you take you take the tube and she put it on his Dick and
5:08
it was like it fit perfectly. It was hilarious.
5:13
She filled it with Lube and she's like, here, play with your
5:16
Dick is great. OK, totally off that topic.
5:22
So I don't know if you all watch ridiculousness, Rob Dyrdek, MTV.
5:28
He has two Co hosts and that shit is so fucking funny.
5:38
He's just supposed to be a Dom. So I was sitting at home and I'm
5:45
watching Ridiculousness, Love the show.
5:50
And I was like, wait a minute, Is that that bar?
5:58
Yeah. So apparently three years ago,
6:04
I'm sitting there. Funniest thing and I, I went to
6:08
go meet two of my friends and we meet at this bar in Mobile,
6:16
right outside of Mobile, and it's karaoke.
6:21
And my friend was like, yeah, my nephew does karaoke.
6:25
It's so much fun. You know, you go to come, blah,
6:28
blah, blah. And I'm like OK, so I'm sitting
6:31
there, my friend goes to get drinks and a snack for himself.
6:36
And I'm sitting there and this older woman, she's like late
6:40
60s, she gets up to sing and she starts singing Pony by Ginuwine.
6:51
And I was like what the fuck is getting ready to happen?
6:56
And she's wearing this really short mini skirt and this like
7:02
sweater and and she started bumping and grinding, humping
7:09
the stage, practically showing her pussy maybe everything but
7:16
and people were rolling. They were dying live.
7:20
It was hilarious. Well, apparently there was
7:23
somebody sitting behind me like 10 feet and they're, you know,
7:30
right behind me. And the woman is right in front
7:33
of me because she was, she was singing and I got a front row
7:40
view of everything. And I was, I was laughing so
7:44
hard. Anyway, they posted that on
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ridiculousness. And I'm sitting there watching
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and I'm like, Oh my God, that's me.
7:53
That's me. And that's an old woman.
7:56
I was like, holy shit, it was funny.
7:59
But you know, we were all just like, oh, good for her, good for
8:02
her. Meanwhile we're thinking, Oh my
8:04
God, that that's crazy. It's funny.
8:08
But anyway, so I saw that and I just really fucking laughed
8:13
about it. I really did.
8:14
I thought, God, that's funny shit.
8:18
So I get this other e-mail and it's guy named Jim, and he said
8:25
I would like to know who's knowledgeable with hypnosis and
8:29
if they also do ABDL. Well, I do both.
8:35
I do adult baby, I do hypnosis. And you know, a lot of people,
8:41
they're really not familiar with the concept of doing hypnosis in
8:46
a scene when it comes to BDSM. But it's really quite simple.
8:54
It's having a 1 tone consistency when you're talking to them.
9:03
And you can choose to use anything you want for them to,
9:09
you know, follow just like you would see in the movies.
9:12
And a lot of it's just for play. But at the same time, there's
9:17
people that really feel like when they're in that submissive
9:22
space that they can get to that point of hypnosis in it, feeling
9:29
very hypnotic. I've done a scene multiple times
9:34
with it and you know, I love the concept of the mind fuck, so why
9:39
not do it? And I remember I did 1 and he
9:47
was, he had like stage fright and, and he had this constant
9:53
desire to wanting to be a cross dresser.
9:56
And, you know, and I was just very methodical with him and I
10:02
talked to him very soothing. And you know, you are beautiful
10:06
inside out and you're going to, you're going to be the exact
10:11
person you want to be. And you know, it was great.
10:15
He enjoyed it. All right, So we obviously
10:21
talked about Skinny Justin, which is great.
10:24
Little Justin, hilarious. And he apparently loved the
10:31
scene that we got to do with him.
10:33
Someone wrote me an e-mail about the podcast.
10:36
Mr. Smee, I've got to say, I laugh so much listening to your
10:39
podcast. Your laugh is contagious.
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I hear that a lot. It's really funny and I think
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it's just it's so sweet. Now.
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I did a a recent scene with with one of our ladies in the
10:55
dungeon. Her name is Ivy and she doesn't
10:58
come to the dungeon too often, but we had a great time.
11:02
We did this foot and needle session.
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And you know, needle play really isn't one of my favorites, but
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it's still fun nonetheless. I mean, you're given the
11:13
opportunity to push needles through a Kai's Dick skin.
11:17
It's like, why not? Why not?
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It's fun, you know, it doesn't bleed that much.
11:23
Just don't go too deep. Just goes like skin surface and
11:28
everything will be fine. But he was super cool with it
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and we, we did some foot foot play.
11:37
You know, she at one point put her feet on his face while I
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took the needles through his Dick and balls.
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And we just played it up. It was fun, you know, can't go
11:49
wrong with it. But there was a few interesting
11:55
things that really happened this week, and nothing ever seems to
11:58
surprise me. In the dungeon.
12:03
We I was trying to think there was a specific story someone had
12:10
asked me. Oh, I remember what it was.
12:14
Someone had written me the other day and they had actually asked
12:16
me if I've ever done an episode where I talk about bringing a
12:23
vanilla spouse into the dungeon to do a session with the non
12:30
vanilla participant. And the truth of it is, is
12:34
absolutely. A couple years ago this was so
12:39
funny. So one of our guys really comes
12:44
in rather regularly at the time he, he told me he's like, you
12:50
know, I'm, I'm married to a woman and she's very
12:53
conservative, you know, and I, he's like, I like to be fucked
12:58
in the ass with big fucking dildos.
13:02
And you know, when I hear that, it's kind of like, oh OK, you
13:06
know, 1011 inch dildos, no big deal.
13:10
No, it wasn't 10 or 11 inch sticks.
13:14
It wasn't that. It was 2 and 3 foot long dildos.
13:21
The kind you special order or go to a freak show shop because you
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don't see these sticks at random.
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Anyway, he brought in this bag and I couldn't lift the bag.
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He dropped it down. He's like, oh, here's my bag.
13:37
And I said well I'll get your bag.
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I couldn't lift it up. It was an easy 200 LB bag full
13:43
of fucking Dicks. And I was like, holy shit.
13:49
And I was with my friend Gemini at the time and he's like, yeah,
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he's like, I'm sorry, Mr. Smith. It's really, really heavy.
14:01
And he had this one butt plug and it had it almost looked like
14:06
spinny tops. And it was probably 2 feet long.
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And it went from, you know, a large spinny top to a smaller
14:16
one that was probably maybe the size of a, of a tangerine, you
14:22
know, so like a grapefruit down to a tangerine.
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It had all the citrus fruits, couple lemons, limes, but he
14:33
took massive fucking Dicks. And so I had the swing set up
14:39
and he puts on these leather, leather thongs and I'm like, oh,
14:44
cute leather thongs. This is so cute, you know, and
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this guy is so good looking. He looked like a really good
14:51
looking version of Matthew McConaughey.
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When I saw him, I was like, you know, he had the the light brown
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hair with like blonde highlights and, you know, he had an Alabama
15:04
accent and he was just cute, cute Southern boy.
15:08
And at the time, he couldn't have been more than 2830 years
15:12
old. And he's like, yeah, you know,
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I'm married with kids and my wife just doesn't get into this.
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And I've asked her and, you know, I don't want to keep
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asking and begging for it. And I'm like, I get it.
15:24
It's no fun. It's like a boner kill when you
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have to ask for it or beg for it.
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So he's like, you know, that's why I come here.
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I'm like, OK, so Jim and I, we're there and she puts him on
15:38
the spank bench and I get underneath like the side of it
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and I'm sitting there and I'm talking to him and I was like,
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oh, so sexy. You know, she's Gemini's little
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anyway, she's like 5-2, maybe 130 lbs maybe.
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And she's like fucking him with this big ass dildo.
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And she's like, you know, I love it.
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I love it. She's grabbing his hips and
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she's fucking him and, and I'm sitting there right next to it.
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And I was like, oh, I'm going to play with your Dick.
16:12
And oh, you know, let's, let's talk dirty and I'm going to tell
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you how I'm going to get all these guys to come in.
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I'm going to have all these guys fuck your pussy and I'm going to
16:23
watch. And it's so sexy and blah, blah,
16:26
blah. And next thing you know, he
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pushes out. He's dripping.
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He cums without me touching him and Gemini pulls out and as
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she's doing that, I've have my hand there because I was getting
16:47
like I was going to touch his Dick, I'm going to touch his
16:50
balls a little bit. And she pulls it out and boom.
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And when that happened and I see this, I was, yeah, I didn't eat
17:07
peas and carrots for a very long time.
17:09
And that was so disgusting. And I really liked him.
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But that just kind of like, yeah, that was a sight.
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So it gets funnier. So as he's come to us for
17:31
several years, he he drives, he lives an hour and a half, two
17:38
hours away. He comes over and he's like, he
17:42
calls me. He's like, Mistress, I want to
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bring my wife in. He's like, you know, we're
17:47
really struggling. And I think that it might help,
17:51
you know, kind of open her mind to maybe playing.
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And he's like, but can you just pretend you don't know me?
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I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:02
No big deal. No big deal.
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So he comes over and I opened the door and I was like, oh,
18:14
Mark, hey, you must be Mark, right?
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His name is not Mark. And he's like, oh, I'm such and
18:23
such. And I was like oh, oh, my, my
18:25
mistake. So sorry, so sorry.
18:28
And he's like, Oh yeah, this is my wife.
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OK, now again, Mark is we're going to call Mark.
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Mark is like 6-2 Matthew McConaughey.
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Really cute, great voice, beautiful face, almost looks
18:47
like a model. OK, he comes in with this woman
18:53
who's 5 foot a little tiny, teeny tiny little black woman
19:02
and she is so ghetto. It's great because I grew up on
19:08
the West side. I I love it.
19:10
And I thought, oh God, I really like her.
19:12
She's cute, you know, and she's like, hey, missus Mia, how you
19:16
doing? And I'm like, hey, they were
19:24
complete opposite. Like she was cute and tiny.
19:28
And I mean, he is tall and yeah, it they were the weirdest
19:34
looking couple. It was hilarious.
19:36
It really was. But anyway, with her funny, you
19:42
know, Southern accent, he his was more like a New Orleans
19:45
accent. You know, for those of you that
19:47
know this New Orleans has a like a longer draw.
19:50
It's very Cajun. And that's where he's from.
19:53
But she's from where I grew up was like West Side.
19:58
And to hear her talk. It was like, oh, this brings
20:03
back memories, you know? But anyway, she's like, do
20:08
people really come in here so they can, like, get play with
20:14
all their booties and stuff? And I was like, yeah, yeah, they
20:18
do. I said that a lot of them, you
20:22
know, they want to be, you know, cross dressed or they want to be
20:25
spanked. And there's a lot of different
20:27
things that we can do, you know, that's really fun.
20:30
And she's like, oh, but you got to play with the booties.
20:34
And I was like, yes, it could be fun.
20:37
You know what I'm thinking? Do you not know what your
20:40
husband likes? So I was kind of like, OK, you
20:45
know, whatever. She doesn't know I'm playing
20:47
along. I'm I'm cool with this.
20:51
So then she says, I got to change.
20:56
Where, where can I change? And I said, well, you can you,
21:00
you all can change in here and do what you need to do and I'll
21:02
just come back in when you're done.
21:06
And so I stepped out and mind you, this woman has very short
21:11
hair, OK, No wig, no weave, no nothing.
21:15
Very simple, just, you know, basic.
21:20
She's very basic and very modest.
21:23
She didn't, she didn't wear makeup, she didn't wear
21:25
anything. Just shorts and AT shirt, no big
21:27
deal. It's like she had no clue she
21:29
was really coming to a dungeon. So I walk in and she's got a
21:38
latex mask on that has a ponytail spout from the back of
21:47
her head. And because she doesn't have any
21:51
hair or wig there, it looked like she was a snorkel from an
21:56
80s cartoon. The snorks.
21:59
And I, I just could not help but laugh like it, laugh inside.
22:04
I wasn't going to laugh at this woman to her face.
22:07
I would not do that. But you know, when you see
22:09
things that remind you of, you know, childhood funny, you can't
22:14
help but really laugh. And so she has never gone to
22:22
really fuck her husband with the dildo.
22:24
And she just feels so uncomfortable.
22:27
And I feel terrible for her. And I was like, God, why is he
22:31
making her do this? Well, next thing I know, he gets
22:35
in the swing. He puts his legs all the way
22:38
back to his head. I mean, I'm thinking, you know
22:44
how I have this gift that I see somebody the whole time I'm
22:48
thinking you are not straight, you're not bi, you are gay.
22:56
And yeah, he put his his feet all the way back to his head
23:02
like he was a fucking pro. Like he's gets pounded in the
23:05
ass all the fucking time and Dicks don't even knock that shit
23:09
out. And anyway, this happened and
23:18
she doesn't even use Lube. She has this big fucking cock on
23:23
and it's an easy 16 inch cock. It's ginormous.
23:27
It's like almost the size of her leg.
23:31
And she just goes right up to him and Rams it in and he's
23:34
like, And I was like so. And when that happened, I was
23:42
like, what the fuck just happened?
23:46
Like she fucking plowed that in his ass with no Lube at
23:51
something else. But they filmed this.
23:57
I use his iPad. I'm filming it for him.
24:01
And you know, they're, they're super cool.
24:04
They really are. But I mean, you can just see
24:08
that this guy is gay. She's not into it.
24:13
And so this goes back to my e-mail.
24:17
People often ask me, you know, how am I going to tell my wife?
24:21
Is she going to understand, you know, can I get her into the
24:25
lifestyle? And the truth of this is, you
24:32
know, either your wife is going to show interest in doing it or
24:37
she's not. And I always say that if someone
24:41
loves you enough, they're going to be willing to learn, they're
24:44
going to be willing to explore. But you can't make somebody do
24:49
something that they don't want to do.
24:52
It's just like you can't make someone love you if they don't.
24:57
You just can't make things happen.
25:00
And I felt like that day, it was kind of a forced situation.
25:04
She did it to appease him. She knew that their marriage was
25:08
coming to an end. And honestly, they didn't even
25:11
stay together another six months.
25:14
He ended up, you know, she I think divorced him.
25:20
And next thing I know he wants to be a cross dresser and he
25:27
wants to get fucked by real cock.
25:29
So I was like, well, I hate to be right.
25:33
I really, I didn't want to be right, but it is, it is one of
25:40
those things that just happens. So that's why I always say to
25:44
people, you know, just be true to yourself.
25:47
You know, I know it's so hard sometimes when you get married
25:51
too young or you get married and you're inexperienced and you
25:56
meet people that you think you love and you fall in love with
26:00
them. And you might in your own way,
26:04
but it gets stagnant when they don't want to do the things that
26:10
you want to do. And you'll say to yourself,
26:15
well, you know, my spouse is supposed to be my best friend
26:18
and you know, they are. But you can have a great
26:26
relationship in other ways. But a lot of women, they just,
26:31
they won't bend. And I'm, I'm sure that there's
26:33
men too. I mean, there's men that they're
26:36
very set in their ways. And I'm sure that there's a lot
26:40
of men that, you know, they don't want to do certain things
26:43
that their wife wants. You know, I mean, a lot of times
26:48
mental health is factor, a lot of times hormones and
26:51
testosterone, these are all factors.
26:54
So you do have to assess that. But if you really love your
26:59
partner and you have that compatibility of trying things
27:05
because you want things to work out well, then it would work
27:11
better. But in this case, things did not
27:15
go well for Mark. Mark is still, to me, a lost
27:20
soul. He works entirely too much.
27:23
He doesn't see his family. He's beautiful children with
27:26
this woman, but you know, they're complete opposite.
27:30
They're just not compatible. You know, she wants a man who
27:34
she doesn't have to fuck in the ass.
27:37
He wants a man. And I really think he would be
27:41
more geared towards a trans person, a trans woman, because
27:47
he likes the idea of a woman dominating him on some level.
27:52
But he loves that, that cock, that's what he really wants.
27:56
So this is where we're at. You know, you kind of reach a
28:02
stagnant situation or you just come to an impasse and it's not
28:08
going to work. But goes back to the e-mail when
28:15
someone asked me, do I help partners come in with their
28:21
vanilla significant others and I do.
28:24
We've had several couples in the dungeon and one that I, I really
28:34
like, they're really nice couple.
28:36
The guy is kind of a know it all.
28:38
And I would say this to him. I was like, you know, it's kind
28:42
of off putting when you monopolize a conversation and
28:47
you act like, you know, everything.
28:49
OK, nobody likes that. It's not fun.
28:54
And so his wife is extremely passive and she's extremely easy
29:00
and she just goes with it and you can see she's very much in
29:04
love. But you can also see she's come
29:08
to one of my parties and she got really shit faced and I'm
29:12
thinking, oh girl, you want somebody to take advantage of
29:14
you. Well, she was getting a lot of
29:17
attention because she's short and adorable and, you know,
29:20
she's obviously an experienced woman in her 50s and she doesn't
29:24
look like she's in her 50s. He's out of shape.
29:28
He's gained weight. He looked like a fucking model
29:31
when they got married and he let himself go like he was the one
29:35
that had five kids. But he doesn't want her being
29:40
played with by anybody else. It's not his thing.
29:43
He's not a cuck, He's a controller.
29:46
And we were in the dungeon for the first time and I was showing
29:50
them some toys and showing them a session and what to do and you
29:55
know how you could satisfy one another.
29:58
And I go to get my violent wand. And, you know, they didn't want
30:03
to do electricity. Well, I said, oh, we'll try this
30:05
wand. And this one was a massaging
30:09
wand. And he's like, oh, yeah, she has
30:11
one of those. I don't like it.
30:13
I want to throw it away. And I said, oh, it must make her
30:17
cum really good. You know, she's like, oh God,
30:20
yes. I said, well, have you used it
30:22
on your husband? He's like, why?
30:25
Why would I do that? I don't have a vagina.
30:28
And I was like, well, believe it or not, your Dick is a clit.
30:34
And So what is a clit? Like?
30:37
Vibrations. It likes to be sucked on.
30:40
It likes to be licked, right? And as soon as I gave her the
30:46
massager to put on his Dick, he fucking came unglued.
30:51
He was like, holy fuck. Like, yeah, no kidding.
30:55
It's amazing. You know, I can't tell you in 12
31:04
years of being with my husband how many massagers I've gone
31:07
through, but it was funny because he picked up this one
31:11
off Amazon and it was like $250. And I was like, why did you get
31:16
this? OK, for a woman in her 40s, it
31:20
is a fucking titanium big ass massager.
31:26
I said the head is bigger than my pussy.
31:30
That's one mistake. 2, it's fucking heavy.
31:34
OK, I said I can handle the weight of a Dick in my hand, but
31:39
a fucking titanium, you know, 10 LB weight of a massager that
31:45
plugs in. Why?
31:48
Why? You know how many times I've had
31:49
a plug in massager? Don't get one because what
31:53
happens, OK, is you're using it and you're all excited.
31:58
Well, you can only stretch it so far and I've used it before and
32:04
the fucking thing Yanks out the wall and then you put it on a on
32:08
an extension cord and you know it shorts out or the extension
32:14
cord, something happens. Trust me, don't get a corded
32:20
massager. You want a massager that you can
32:23
charge up and then it'll last and it'll work great and you
32:29
won't have any issues and you can take it wherever the fuck
32:31
you want and you don't have a cord in the way so you can ride
32:35
your husband, put it on your clit, put it on his Dick and
32:38
it'll work. That's my point.
32:41
So buck a corded massager. I just got one the other day and
32:46
just came in. I was charging it coincidentally
32:49
it's like 5 feet in front of me and I was like, oh, I can use
32:55
the this on my GIMP and this on my Sissy while they're locked in
33:02
their cages. So it's going to be fabulous.
33:06
So my point of it is you get the right massager, it's great.
33:12
But couples coming into the dungeon with one vanilla and one
33:16
knot is never worked. It hasn't.
33:20
And I don't mean to be a pessimist about it.
33:22
I really don't. But you know, years ago when I
33:28
was working my vanilla job and I was running a business and then
33:33
I had a homeless shelter and I did that, you know, I always had
33:37
vanilla friends, vanilla friends that probably own maybe one
33:41
dildo and always fucked missionary or doggy and that was
33:46
it. They're basic bitches.
33:50
And this is a reason why we're not friends, you know, because
33:54
with your real friends you can talk about everything.
33:58
And two of my friends that we were close with, that I was
34:02
close with, you know, we just couldn't talk.
34:06
We just couldn't talk about regular shit because they were
34:12
really both very vanilla and very much prude like.
34:19
And I'm none of those things. And so my point being is when
34:24
you bring in your vanilla partner to a dungeon and your
34:28
eyes about pop out of your head from excitement, their eyes pop
34:34
out of their head thinking, why the fuck am I here?
34:39
So yeah, you know, men, you don't want to settle.
34:48
That's the thing You don't want to settle and this is the
34:52
interesting thing because again, 80% listeners and sometimes that
34:57
even goes to 90% with people that listen to podcast men.
35:04
You know, you get this, You listen to me because you
35:08
obviously like talking about BDSM and sex and you like to
35:13
learn a few things in the process and I value you.
35:18
I really appreciate that because I like to think that I'm in
35:22
tuned enough and knowledgeable enough about my art of BDSM that
35:28
I participate in that. I can tell you a lot of things.
35:34
I really can. And I can tell you that when you
35:40
start to date or you want to marry someone, make sure you
35:45
tell them the fucking truth of your fetish and your kink before
35:51
you get married, before you have kids.
35:55
Because otherwise, when you're in the marriage or the
35:59
relationship and you're not being honest and it's gone 567
36:06
years, eight years, and trust me, it will get stagnant.
36:12
It'll be the same boring thing because most women like
36:17
consistency. They like consistency.
36:20
And most women can be very transparent if they know how to
36:24
communicate. If they communicate well and
36:27
they have their own voice, they will tell you what they want
36:31
sexually. But if you were the type of guy
36:36
who is into a kink you don't want to divulge to a woman, I'm
36:42
telling you now, do not waste your life and your time.
36:47
And the same applies for your potential partner.
36:50
Just be fucking honest. Because I've seen people like
36:55
Mark, there's another guy and I, he's one of my oldest clients.
36:59
I've seen him for maybe 12-15 years.
37:06
And he's like, oh, me and my wife are best friends.
37:10
And I said, how often do you have sex?
37:13
He said, we haven't had sex in six years.
37:25
He said, yeah, you know, once she hit menopause, sex doesn't
37:29
interest her anymore. I said, OK, well, have you
37:34
thought that if she cared enough about the intimacy that you want
37:39
to share with her sexually, that she would go see a psychologist
37:46
and, you know, talk to them about it?
37:49
And he's like, well, you know, I don't want to, you know, keep
37:53
asking her. And I said, listen, you ask her.
37:56
And if she doesn't want to do it, it's because she doesn't
37:59
love you enough that she wants to do it with you, you know?
38:05
And now, granted, he kind of had when I met him, he had like a
38:10
body, like a cyclist. He had like great legs.
38:14
He's basic in the face. He's not my kind of guy.
38:17
And then he didn't really color his hair.
38:19
So it kind of went salt, pepper. Again, not my thing.
38:24
But my thing of it is if you don't work on yourself in your
38:28
relationship and you don't give of yourself in your
38:33
relationship, what do you have? You have a stagnant, boring life
38:39
and we're only here for so long. So why be boring and stagnant?
38:46
Why be miserable, you know? Why put time towards a
38:50
relationship where that other person's not giving you their
38:54
100%, you know? Why settle for something when
38:59
you're not completely happy? It just doesn't work, you know,
39:06
and it might work to a point of just being miserable, but then
39:12
you just have a miserable existence.
39:16
One of our more recent friends that comes to the dungeon, you
39:24
know it. It's been one of those moments
39:26
where you where you've heard it several times where I've had
39:31
several different people come to the dungeon and they're just
39:34
like, you know, I've just kind of become a robot in my marriage
39:37
and my life. And I've thought about suicide
39:41
and I've thought about, you know, different things on, you
39:46
know, how can I, how can I make our life, our marriage better?
39:52
And I said, well, did she want that?
39:58
Was she initiating things too? And he's like.
40:02
No, she didn't initiate it. She, she hasn't had sex with me
40:07
since, you know, 20, 2020-2021. And then he's like, you know,
40:15
she tells me that I don't give her intimacy.
40:16
And I said, well, doesn't she realize that, you know, sex is a
40:20
form of intimacy? You can Make Love to someone.
40:24
You can, you know, caress someone.
40:28
You can, you know, whisper sweet nothings in their ear.
40:30
There's so many things you can do to have a connection.
40:36
And that's what it's about. If you want intimacy, it's about
40:41
having a connection with someone.
40:44
And it doesn't always have to involve sex, but it's about
40:47
that, that touch. It's about, you know, showing
40:51
them that you still love them, that you still want to give
40:56
yourself to them. And she didn't want to do it.
41:02
You know, she rather put the blame on him.
41:04
And I said to him, I said, have you ever thought that maybe,
41:09
maybe she's a closeted lesbian? I mean, you know, you're a good
41:14
looking man, you're attractive, you have a working penis.
41:22
You know, why wouldn't you want to have sex with your partner?
41:30
You know, he actually looked better now than what he did when
41:33
they got married because he'd lost more weight.
41:35
And, you know, he goes to the gym regularly and that kind of
41:38
thing. But that's why I said, you know,
41:42
the vanilla aspect of things is just not going to work, You
41:45
know, when they don't want to make an effort.
41:48
And I have this, one of my old Subs he called me today.
41:53
Oh, Mistress, I think about you. Oh, Mistress da, da, da, da, da.
41:57
Can I send you a picture, Mistress?
41:58
Oh, yeah. You know, send me a picture.
42:01
He's adorable. He really is.
42:03
He's adorable. He's a good looking man.
42:06
But he recently got married. And I said, does she know?
42:10
He's like, no. And I'm like, why wouldn't you
42:17
tell her? You know, why couldn't you be
42:20
open enough? Well, you know, he obviously has
42:23
the communication issue. I said, but, you know, you're
42:27
starting off at square one. He's like, well, you know, I
42:30
dominate her and it's good. And I said, OK, but does she use
42:37
a dildo on you? Does she know you like to wear
42:40
panties? Does she know you like
42:42
spankings? And he's like, no, I didn't tell
42:46
her. And I'm like, I told him, don't
42:50
have kids. Don't tie her down because
42:55
you're going to get tired of this.
42:56
It's not going to work, you know, And that's why I said,
43:01
men, don't be dumb, don't be selfish.
43:04
You know, if you can't be truthful with that potential
43:07
partner, knowing their vanilla, you know, I know you might be
43:11
lonely and I know that, you know, they might have all these
43:14
great qualities, but ultimately it's all those things are moot
43:21
point. It's not going to matter because
43:23
you're going to miss out on all the things that you want.
43:27
And once you hit 40, it's a whole other ball game.
43:32
It's like, Oh my God, you know, I said this few episodes ago,
43:37
the mortality, that thought of mortality is going to kick in
43:40
and you're going to be like, Oh my God, anywhere.
43:43
I think I have talked your ear off about all of this, but my
43:47
point of it is make the right choice.
43:50
Think about your relationship in the long run.
43:54
Don't think just about the now. We all make mistakes, but in
43:58
actuality, don't try to convert a vanilla when you know that
44:04
there's just no winning with it, OK?
44:08
Because there's only so many people who are going to be so
44:10
flexible about so many things, and nine times out of 10,
44:14
they're not going to be everything that you want.
44:17
So you need to search and find exactly what you want.
44:22
You know a woman that will meet all your needs in that aspect of
44:28
your kinks and be accepting of it and love you for you
44:31
completely. I know it's difficult, but if
44:36
you want it, you can find it. Don't be a quitter.
44:41
All right, so until then, this has been the latest episode of
44:46
Call Me Mistress.