Latest / No Más Yes Girls / Do I actually believe these unwritten rules... or was I taught this? with Jessica Rivera

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Do I actually believe these unwritten rules... or was I taught this? with Jessica Rivera · No Más Yes Girls

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Nomas Yes Girls.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, we pretty much tweaked our name onto the podcast since it's a bilingual podcast.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we wanted it to really show our personalities on here.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: So from now on, we're going to be referring ourselves as Nomas CS Girls.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Vinet and this is uh Vivian, my sister.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: And today we have Jessica Rivera joining us today, which we are super, super excited to have on.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Jessica is an executive coach and business consultant who helps women navigate the workplace, advocate for themselves, and stop following some of those unwritten rules we've been taught for years.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And what really made us excited for this conversation is that so much of what Jessica talks about overlaps with um what we talk about here all the time: people pleasing, confidence, self-worth, visibility, learning to take up space, and realizing that sometimes the rules we've been following were never actually ours to begin with.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, Jessica, thank you so much for being here.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having me.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so excited to have this conversation.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I actually don't want to start with your career.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I know it sounds crazy, but I actually want to start with Jessica the person.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Who were you growing up?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Were you always outspoken, confident, or were you someone who learned to read the room, be good, work hard, and try not to disappoint people?
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm a typical secondborn.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: So I broke all the rules.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: Uh my sister, my sister was the good one, right?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: She was the one who followed all the rules, and I was the one that was able to break all of the rules.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but but I will say I was lucky.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: I I always say that I like God gave me the best pick of parents, and I had parents who um were very much like allowed us to be ourselves, right?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: They allowed us to, they had rules, of course they had rules, and but um they they did allow us to express ourselves, they did allow us to give our opinion, they did allow us to do all of those things.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: But I will say what's interesting is that while some of the normal um stigmas around Latinas or Latinos growing up, we didn't necessarily have those in my household, but they still stuck with me.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like it's an inner DNA.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um and so I always looked at it, and and again, every child is different, right?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: There were four kids that grew up in my house, uh, including myself, and then I have a sister and a brother from my dad's previous marriage.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: Uh but each child will see it differently, right?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: Because our parents are different depending on the era that we meet them in.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: And so the way that I saw it was like they were they were a partnership.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't like a very patriarchal household.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I I felt like they had their own lives and then they just loved each other really hard.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: And so I got really lucky with parents who allowed us to be more outspoken, to um to really uh take part in becoming who you were, and then also knowing that they had your back.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like I don't remember a time where I didn't get along with my parents.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's amazing.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's such such goals, such goals.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: What I find interesting about that, I was thinking about it today, is that while I had the most amazing relationship with my parents, of course, you know, we had moments.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: There were moments where not, you know, things happened.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: But when I had my first son, I didn't want to be like them.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted to be more strict.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: I thought they gave me too much freedom.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I was, and it did not work.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: It backfired.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: And then I was like, okay, well, I think I I went too far, like the other way.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: So then with my second son, I took more of like a page out of their book, and now he feels like I gave him too much freedom.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: So there's no winning.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: That is crazy.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's crazy.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: No winning.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I think sometimes people see confident women today and assume that she's been that way.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but usually there's a whole story behind how she got there.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I would have loved to hear your story on how you got to be the woman you are today.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, I think part of it is, you know, my de my parents let us be a little bit outspoken, but I was very shy.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I remember, I remember very clearly in the sixth grade, we had to do a presentation, and I was up there in front of the class and I just started crying and I ran out of the room.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_03: That's all I remember.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I was terrified, terrified, terrified of public speaking.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: I had my I was the type of person that if you came over to me, it was all love.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: But I was never gonna go over to you.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: I was I was more of a shyer person, um more outspoken, but with the circle, right?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: With the circle of people that I knew.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I I had I felt as though I was not smart enough in most of the rooms I was in.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: And so that is what really stuck with me throughout my career was like I'm not that smart, I don't know how to speak in public, I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to do that.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like I that that's what kind of I think that was like the fuel behind me with that, and I had kids at a very young age, though that was the fuel behind me really wanting to succeed and push myself.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So how did you get over it?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: Uh well it was a lot of a lot of trials and tribulations, right?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_03: I uh my personal life was very much I did not take a traditional route.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: Let me just say this.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: I had a kid at 19, right?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: And so then I had my second one at 27, and at 27 I had already been in a relationship for a very long time, but it was very toxic.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and this person that I was in a relationship with had showed me a side of money that I had never seen before.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: We were probably, you know, my my my parents were like working class, right?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_03: And so he was probably upper, upper, upper middle class, you know, his dad was an executive, his mom was a nurse, like you know, they had money that I had never seen before.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: And so then when we weren't together anymore, I wanted to maintain that lifestyle.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: So how do I maintain that lifestyle?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_03: Work hard.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_03: I felt like while I didn't have all the books smart, I had the street smart and I could outwork anybody.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's was like my thought process.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: So when so I ended up in sales, which again, I don't like speaking in front of people, remember at that time.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: But I would ended up in sales because I was gonna do whatever it took.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_03: And so then it became one-on-one sales was not so hard, but then speaking in front of people was a little bit more challenging, but then speaking in front of people to like sell the pen, that no problem, that got a little easier.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: Then as I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, I had to speak in front of bigger people, more people.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I forced myself to do it.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I remember thinking maybe I could just speak at church, like to learn how to just speak, right?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I wanted to show my kids what it looked like to work hard, to provide, to do all of those things because it was just me.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's so good because I totally align with you.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm the shy one and oh, excuse me, I'm the shy one, and it's hard to get out of my shell.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you can see me here, and I'll just talk away, but then I do shy away unless it's my inner circle where I think I'm very loud.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: But other than that, I just and and and I'm in the same position where I'm like, okay, no, because of my kids, I want to push forward, I want to for them to see and for them, you know, to have a voice and not shy away.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I completely understand.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: What's interesting is that my inner circle would have never said I was shy, right?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: They they would not believe me when I would say I'm shy.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: They're like, BS, right?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so because you know, in a social setting, if we were out at the club, then it was a little different, right?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, but to go up to someone and have even now, till this day, to go up and say hi, my name is, that feels weird to me.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: It does not feel normal.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: That does not feel like I got I do it all of the time.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_03: But one thing that I focused on was that it's not about me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: It's about making me, it's not about making the other person feel comfortable, it's about making the other person feel seen.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: So once I take it off of me, it does feel easier.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: But then there could there come to a point where now you have to do it for yourself.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we go back into shoot, like I'm I've literally served so many people.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I literally gave the platform to so many people.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how do I talk about myself?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: Like, who am I?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: So really, I think I feel as though I feel as though I try to look at it a little bit differently.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: I try to look at it like if God gave me this gift, right?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: And and this is something that I have to remind myself about all the time.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: If God gave me this gift to help people feel seen, to to be able to solve problems on a deeper level, then it is my job.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like it is, I'm not honoring him if I'm not offering people my services, offering people, you know, giving to them.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think there's a balance between knowing when it's time for you to take a pause and relax.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: And so, for example, let me give you an example.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I was always also the type of person who went after fun.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: So whatever fun looked like.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: So if you know, if fun looked like going to the club, we're going to the club.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_03: If fun looked like taking my kids to Disney, then we're going to Disney.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: If like whatever fun looked like, I was going after the fun.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_03: But what I found in especially becoming an entrepreneur and and really trying to understand me more so that I can give more, um, I had to pause and say, okay, well, fun is gonna look a little bit different these days.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: Fun is gonna look like me going to the gym, fun is gonna look like me sitting down and like, you know, I don't know, looking at the tree.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I had to, I had to really understand what it meant to get pour into myself so that then I can truly, truly pour into others.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: Because um while it is executive coaching or leadership or whatever, I make it way deeper than that.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: It becomes much deeper than that because I want us to get to the root of what is really going on here.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: It is not about your boss, it is not about your annoying, you know, colleague.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: There's something else going on here.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: And so because I want to be able to tap into that, that means I have to allow myself to tap in.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: And so really understanding what that looks like for you, and you know, every season it's different.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like some seasons it's like slowing down and meditating and being quiet, other seasons it's like going to church and like being around more people, and some seasons it's um going to more business things, like it depends on the season.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a good that's a good way to to put it.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I do like that.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that um that you talk about that really caught our attention is the idea of these unwritten rules.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what are some of the rules you think women are taught without anyone ever actually sitting or sit um sitting us down and saying that?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, I think one of the biggest rules is to speak when spoken to.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I think we have been told that.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: We have been told that as like little kids, right?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_03: To speak when spoken to and to just await your turn.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I think the unwritten rule is that that exists even as you get older.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_03: It's not only for your household, it's not only for school.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: You then take that upon yourself to say, okay, um, let me wait my turn.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I see it all the time in meetings, like as I'm doing workshops and stuff.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, a woman will go like with her idea, some man will just speak over her and she just waits.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: But here's the thing I don't even think he notices it.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think the a lot of times the the man is not doing it on purpose, but she then allows him to.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's like she just she doesn't try.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: Whereas some women will like speak louder and force them to wait their turn.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I think that depending on your household, depending on what you're used to, a lot of these rules unwritten are still you carry them with you.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then when you think about depending on your ecosystem, where you worked, and all the other things, there's so many unwritten rules like the clicks.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_03: And um and not and the the truth is that the person who works the hardest is usually not sometimes the one who gets promoted.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_03: The person who has visibility, the one who knows how to speak about themselves, the one who knows how to talk about the vision or what they plan on doing sometimes is the one, not even the one that executes the thing, the one who talks about what they are about to do will be the one that gets promoted.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that makes I mean, and definitely in corporate America for sure.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and this goes along with the way we were also raised, too.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: It can be like just be nice or don't be difficult, don't talk about money, don't brag, work hard, and somebody will eventually notice.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't make other people feel uncomfortable.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it goes in all areas, not just um, not just your job.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: It goes everywhere, your relationships everywhere.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Everywhere.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_03: I remember many, many, many, many years ago when Oprah was like on regular television, there was she had a man on and he was like a secret service or something, and he was saying that women are so ingrained with not to make somebody else feel uncomfortable, you'll be in an elevator, you'll feel weird about the person that's in the elevator, and you won't get off because you don't want that person to feel bad.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: Meanwhile, you don't even know this person.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and that stuck with me because it was like that is so true.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: We are so concerned about everybody else's feelings.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: And if you think about all of the unwritten rules that we carry and that other people carry, um, and that we we perpetuate.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how how did you find your voice to be able to stand up for yourself in corporate America?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um I stopped giving a shit.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: I know it's not terrible.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's not terrible, but um I made a decision that okay, two things.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: When I say I stopped giving a shit, that doesn't mean I didn't work hard.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: I still worked hard, right?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_03: I like working.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_03: I stopped caring about what they care about, meaning I spend a lot of time in my mind worried.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, what's Vivian thinking?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, she probably thinks this, oh, she probably thinks, oh, he probably thinks, oh so I'm making up this story in my mind before I even walk into the room.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: That then will cause anxiety, that then makes me be more careful about what I'm saying and me not say what I want to say, and all of these things, right?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: So I felt like I was doing myself a disservice.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted to feel like calm on the inside.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: And so I said, if they don't agree with me, I have to stop caring.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: If they do agree with me, I have to stop caring.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Because if you care, oh yeah, they finally agree with me.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I'm so like that, they're on my side.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: When they don't agree with you, same thing, but just the opposite way.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: So I stopped caring on both sides.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: What I decided I was gonna do is I was gonna provide value.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna speak when it's valuable, whether I think they agree with me or not.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not, I'm gonna stop being offended when I get it wrong, right?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I mean when I didn't say, Oh, I don't give a shit what you think.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_03: I stopped almost caring about what I thought in the sense of like stop being worried about what everybody else is thinking.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna provide value.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: My thought process is this.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_03: You don't have to agree with me.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just thinking, have we ever tried that?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna put my feelings, my ideas, my things out there, and then I'm gonna let you do whatever you want with it.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: What I started realizing was even if you don't agree with what I'm saying, or you're like, nah, I don't think that's a good idea, my bad idea can help us come up with a better idea.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: So that's what I mean when I say I stopped giving a shit.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like I really stopped caring about everything, and I decided that I'm just going to provide value.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm doing something wrong, somebody will tell me.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's that's pretty good.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: So you're now a consultant and you obviously do public speaking as well.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: How is that going for you?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Uh well, it's I've been I've been on my own since 2022.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um I built my own company since 2022.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and it it really it has its challenges, of course, right?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: Selling yourself is I mean, I was in sales, so selling someone else's thing was it came a lot easier to me than I thought, probably because I was chasing the money.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: But but um selling yourself, it's just a different ballgame.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's completely different.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: And so it definitely comes with its challenges.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: But what I'm learning in this season though is that I mean, you have to have the the level of faith in yourself and what you're providing and what you're doing, that even when things are not going well, you're still pitching and you're still you're still truly, I mean, there has to be a level of faith and a level of connection with self and with God that um I I haven't seen any other way that would develop it like this, right?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_03: I was in charge of a four billion dollar organization, I had people, I had big responsibilities, but this era has made me really tap into a faith that um on on such a deeper level.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: And um what I'm learning is that that faith will pay off, it does pay off.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I I have contracts with the city right now, uh, with New York and and corporate contracts that continue to rehire me and rehire me.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I know I'm making an impact and it's showing in this company's coming back.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: I did hear um this Instagram reel that said, if you really want to go through a whole spiritual awakening, become an entrepreneur.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is not for the week, it is not because I mean I personally went through it.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I actually just quit my job last year, August of last year.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm a full year out of my nursing job.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be a nurse before I became an entrepreneur as well.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And um I have a personal um social media page that has been growing and it's been um it's been nice, but at the same time, it's like holy crap, like I don't know what's gonna happen later.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know when I'm gonna get paid.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how much I'm gonna get paid.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's good what's gonna happen like I can set this right now, but everything could anything can change within the next couple of days, within the next week.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just been trying to have that faith and be open to that faith and just letting God provide clarity and looking for that clarity too, because sometimes we're so overwhelmed, like we're always like thinking about the next thing, we're always on the go, go, go.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: When we completely just take that leap of faith, it literally is a leap of faith.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it's you know, you don't know what's gonna happen, but you're just gonna have to go with it.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have to go with it and ride with it and pray, meditate, and everything, as long as you have a very strong will and a very strong um connection to whatever it is you're working on, you're developing, you're um trying to help other people with, it it will compensate for sure.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: But that meantime in that that in between, that's where a lot of people don't talk about.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people don't talk about that in between.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like one person can say, Oh, yes, I quit my job and I'm already making six, seven figure a year business and this and that.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but tell me about that in between, like nobody.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Really talks about what happens, like what emotional roller coasters have you gone through?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: What had you had to let go of?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: What had you had to cry upon?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: What have you had to do in order to calm yourself to be okay?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like a lot of people don't talk about entrepreneurial ship before becoming successful.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, yeah, 100%.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: In my retreats, we talk about, not we talk about, we we have a funeral for the person we have to let go of because you will have to kill off a version of yourself every single level.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I oftentimes liken personal growth to like a video game.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: If you've ever played a video game, it's like you slay the dragon and then there's a new dragon.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: Every level, right?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: And so, and so I feel as though that's what personal growth ends up being like.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's what leadership is like, that's what entrepreneurship is like.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_03: And that's almost like you know, what parenting is like too.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: But um, and my my kids are adults, but still, right?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: We're still we're still their parent if you have kids.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and and and letting go of who you believe yourself to be can be lonely, and it can be so challenging.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it really is, it really is.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I feel like not a lot of people really talk about that or highlight that, and that's something that I mean we talk about here on our podcast too.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's like like I'm off for everybody going and doing whatever it is they want to do, they love to do, working on that, but just be aware that a lot of things are gonna change for you, um, personally, physically, financially, and you're gonna either lose some people, and that is okay.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that is okay, it's just better.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: And it's lonely, it's it's okay, but it is lonely.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_03: That's the reality, right?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: And and um being being able to be in that messy middle and stay connected to yourself is not easy.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but also really understanding what beliefs do I have to let go of.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like when you spoke, when you asked me, like, how did you how did you go from this to that?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um, now what I know is that what is what do I believe about myself?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: And if I believe I'm a bad speaker, it's like Ford, a long time ago, said, whether you believe you can or believe you can't, you're right.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: And so if I say I'm a bad speaker, if I say I'm not smart enough, if I say I don't belong in this room, I'm right every single time.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: And so those are like what I think happens though is that we don't even realize that we're saying these things to ourselves.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: We don't even realize the labels that we're putting on ourselves.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_03: We're we're not, we don't even realize the shit talking that we're doing to ourselves.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: And so, you know, if you're like, I'm not a morning person, which I'm not, uh, but I force myself to be, right?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: I force myself to wake up at 6 a.m., 5 a.m.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: to go to the freaking gym.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not a gym person either, but guess what?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: If you just met me, you'd never know that because I'm in the gym.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like, but that was a conscious decision.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_03: Before me going to the gym, I had every excuse in the book on why I couldn't make it to the gym.
• 26:10
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_03: And so, I mean, but that can be said about anything, right?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: Any, any, and name the topic.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: And so I I think that um there's always more work to do.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: I I believe that there's always more work to do.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't have if my bank account doesn't look the way I want, then there's more work to do.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't have the man that I want, then there's more work to do on me.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's just what I believe.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, definitely 100%.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Going, um, that was actually leading up to a question I had was um what are you currently un what are you currently learning and what are you currently unlearning?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um I think what I continue to learn is that one of the things I have been praying for um recently, like you know, last several months, is like I want God to um expand my capacity to receive.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_03: Receiving was challenging for me because I was the doer, right?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_03: I had two kids, I was a single mom for most of my life, I did everything.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like I remember when my ex told me one time, my son's father told me one time, that's what I love about you, Jess.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have to worry about you.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I yeah, I could do everything on my own, but I don't want to.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: I I also didn't act like I needed help.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: So there's that part too, right?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_03: So I say all that to say I wanted God to expand my capacity to receive because I'm I was that person for so long, I'm sure there's remnants, there's still you know, that in me somewhere.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_03: So I want God to expand my capacity to receive, to receive love, to receive contracts, to receive the right people.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel as though that is exactly what has been happening, right?
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_03: I just recently got um I have I have about I'm trying to do the math real quick in my head, but like over probably$250,000 in um proposals out there, two of which that already are approved, that are going to add a both to probably$160,000.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: Then I'm waiting for the rest to either get approved or we negotiate or whatever.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm like, he continues, meaning God continues to give me the evidence that is coming, it's on its way.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: Now, again, this did not happen overnight.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: I've been on my own since 2022.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_03: I've had contracts, I've had here there, but this knowing that it's$200,000 is like the tip of the iceberg, there's so much work to be done there.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um, they chose me.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's happening, and he's continuing to show me the evidence of not only are you ready to receive, but we are going to expand your capacity to receive.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, now that that you were talking about that, um a little a little backstory.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: When you sent us a message, we had just finished recording one of the episodes.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the first thing my sister said was, God, please just send you know creators over or something.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then, like, probably not even an hour later, she sends me a message and she's like, Look, she reached out, she wants to be on our podcast.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, it's so true what you're saying.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like we just have to trust.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_03: And we have to ask.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_03: We have to ask, right?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um, what is it?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_03: God says faith without acts is not is nothing, or however that goes in the Bible.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so we do have to take action, right?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: If I want, if I want um my capacity to expand, then I need to continue to put myself out there, right?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: And so, okay, I have this stuff in the pipeline, but I also want to you ask what else am I working on?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm really working on making myself a media brand, right?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_03: I want um a book to come out, I want podcasts, I want, you know, all within the right timing.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_03: Everything can happen at the same time, but I'm continuing to build myself up to serve more, to reach more people, so that I just feel like I'm a regular person, right?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm a girl that grew up in Brooklyn, Queens, and right, I happen to have like the most some of the most amazing friends that get to do amazing dope things, right?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I do have some access.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm like when it comes to the corporate game, it is a lot more challenging because we didn't know the rules.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_03: And unless you're willing to kiss ass or act like somebody that you're not, which gets exhausting after a while, then I have a way better playbook for you that is gonna get you where you want to go faster and then and and just make it easier for you.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what I want for people.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_03: Like make money, speak your voice, and not be frustrated when you're and not put so much onus on what these people think about you.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: And it's really about integrity, right?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's about integrity, really knowing who are you in the inside.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: Who are you really?
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if you you've seen this, I don't know if you've seen this um on on on the news, but there was a woman, she was an executive at Chase, right?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_03: And she was at the Knicks parade.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: She was a high-level executive at Chase, she's at the Knicks parade, and the garbage cans were decorated like Knicks, whatever.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_03: She dumped all the trash on the street to grab the garbage can and take it with her um on the subway to go home.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: Chase sees because it goes viral, Chase sees this and fires her.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's really about who are you when no one is looking?
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: And listen, I'm sure she regrets it, right?
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure she was who knows where her mindset was at that time, but having respect for other people means having respect for your city, means having respect for the smallest, the biggest, the everything in between.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like really understanding who are you when no one is watching.
• 32:32
  unknown: Yeah.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it brings you and it brings it back to you yourself, like what brings you back to yourself in a way.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, we can have all of these things going on for us and all of these things, but learning to balance yourself, learning to um also be okay with everything that doesn't go your way makes a difference as well.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_03: Big time.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's it's again, like we can plan everything, we can want specific things or a lot of things, but at the end of the day, it's it may not happen that way.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we're and we're gonna have to be okay with that.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have to be okay with that and learning to balance that.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um again.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I was unlearning.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's like having patience.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: Having patience.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think a lot of us don't have the patience, especially like a lot of us who are doers.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm also a doer, I'm very structured, I'm very analytical, but that had to go down the drain when I became an entrepreneur, because it's like, okay, this like I'm supposed to be like I I structured everything this way, and it's supposed to go like this, but it's not going like that at all.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where again, that's where I had to go in within myself, and I'm like, oh, I had to, I had to unlearn that, and I had to have patience, and I have to let that go, and I have to trust because you don't again, we don't know what's gonna happen later on, but we don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and I mean that's also the something that I also like to talk about as being first gen or at least being Latinas here in the US.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like we are literally trying to figure everything out by ourselves in a way, yeah.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and I mean it's granted, if there's help, great.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but learning to ask for that help is hard, especially again, going back into the way we were being raised, going back into um being the first gen, or at least the Latinas that we are here, um Latinos Latinas, it's we're gonna have to figure it out without asking for help.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you can never advance without asking for help.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something that um I also have been unlearning as well, because I've always been very independent as well and figured everything out, and then it could, but the um it's like a whole double-edged sword, right?
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's you do that, but then you burnt out, but then you get super un, you get emotional, emotionally unavailable.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: You start, everything irritates you, everything just crumbles inside of you because you're so prideful and your ego says no, because subconsciously we were raised to not ask for help that we had to figure it out on ourselves.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think I think that right, that's what you know that's come down from generation through generation through generation, right?
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there our sense of community, at least from my perspective, was more around family and food and fun, right?
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't like what's the next business idea?
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_03: How do I help you climb?
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_03: How do I help you?
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_03: That just wasn't our sense of community.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_03: Our sense of community was more around like who's taking care of who, at least that's what I remember, right?
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_03: And that's beautiful.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_03: I think I I love that so much about the culture.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_03: What I think becomes challenging is that as you build a career or even a business, that feeling of having to do it on your own and that or that feeling of shame when you have to ask for help.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_03: And actually, the truth is, even like raising kids, asking somebody to like help you with your kids, it was like you weren't being a good person, you weren't being a good mother because you should be able to handle or a good wife, you should be able to handle the husband, the kids, the job, the laundry, the food, everything.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_03: You should be able to do it on your own.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_03: And or having getting a cleaner, it was like, why would you have somebody go clean your house?
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's crazy.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think all of that, when you think about unlearning and what we have to unlearn and and and the stuff that we take with us into the workplace will not get us paid and promoted because we are waiting our turn.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_03: We are waiting for somebody to tell us it's okay.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: We're waiting for the thing to be perfect before we talk about it.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_03: And that is not helping us excel in our careers.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_03: And that's why I feel so passionate about helping people understand this is how you get paid and promoted.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_03: This is how you get paid and promoted at work.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_03: You have got to really understand, you know, the the the principles of how you actually get there.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_03: And you're gonna have to do the scary thing.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but we take all of that stuff with us of feeling like, I don't know, is it okay?
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_03: Am I gonna sound less than uh what's the the shame around asking for help?
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I really love the way you like you said, circling back at the beginning, that there was a root cause of what was going on, you know, with yourself in corporate America.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: And just the way you explain it, it's like I sit back and I'm like, okay, I'm thinking to myself, what's the root cause of everything else?
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, the root cause does affect everything around you.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: And um, the way you're putting it into corporate America to me, it just amazes me because never would I ever have thought of it that way.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's all connected, right?
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's all connected, and so I had a toxic relationship, and I had a toxic work relationship with my boss.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_03: Now at the time I wouldn't put things together, right?
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: They were completely separate, but they weren't.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_03: They weren't.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_03: I really, really valued what my um ex felt about me, said about me, thought about me.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I really, really valued what my boss said about me, thought about me, felt about me.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_03: And when I started finding the patterns between it all, it all kind of like number uh, you know, I could think about it and talk about it now, like it was so nice, but it wasn't.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_03: It was very messy, it was very messy, it was very uh toxic, it was all of those things.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_03: But what I understand now is that that cycle continued to happen for years and years and years and years and years, and I believe that that problem, whatever that problem is, will not go away until we find the root, and that's why I will not let anyone tell me uh their surface level story, because I'm gonna help you get to the root, yeah, yeah, because basically um it we're the common denominator, so we gotta look within ourselves.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Everything around us.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: Very easy to say, well, when you're in it, yeah, it's very hard to see.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard, yeah.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: It is, it's hard to accept it.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: I on the previous episode we um had talked about like believing or taught.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: So do I actually believe so I do I actually believe this or was I actually taught this and who am I becoming?
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: Everything we believe we were taught.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_03: So let's think about it.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: Let's think about it.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_03: Where do your beliefs come from?
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_03: If you were born in India, you may have completely different beliefs.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_03: Every belief we have, we were taught.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: Every single thing you believe about yourself and every single thing you believe about other people, you were taught.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I didn't think about it that way.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_03: And that's when you think about it that way, that's why you can't almost blame people for whatever they're not true.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: Because they were taught it, right?
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_03: If you believe uh, I'll give you an example.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody I know, she um she's from California, and she's Mexican, and in her high school, there was she told me literally no nothing else, only Mexican people, yeah.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 100% of the people, right?
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_03: I think she said maybe there was one white person in her whole thing.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's the majority of um California for sure.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_03: So I had never known that, right?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_03: So I like I'm in New York and I grew up with like when I grew up in Brooklyn, it was like white people on my block, black people on my block, and Puerto Ricans.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: There was not really nothing else.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_03: And when I moved to Queens, then it was like Salvadorians, like then it was like, you know, a lot of different people, a lot with different Latinos, but there was also white and black and whatever.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_03: And so um when we spoke, she said she really had never engaged with a black person in her life, and all she saw was what was on the news, and what does the news tell you about a black person?
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right, and so yeah, that's what she got taught, and that was such an epiphany for me because while New York is the melting pot, there is segregation.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think I appreciated the fact that I grew up in New York as much until she told me that story.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, wow, that is mind-blowing to me.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: And it when you think about that, and then okay, then then you think about why how do people feel about Latinos that they've never engaged with a Latino?
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_03: And then if they do, it's only that person, that person's cool, but the majority of the community is ex.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: And when you think about what you do to different communities that you don't know, or religions, or fill in the blank, that's why I it's almost like I can't even get mad at anybody anymore because it's like that's just what they believe, because that's what they were taught.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's true, it wasn't, I can definitely relate to that Mexican girl because where we grew up, we grew up in a very agricultural town where it's just 90% Mexican, and then maybe like one two, like one or two white person, white people, one black person, like it was just very, very limited.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: But everywhere else you go, it was just Mexicans.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't until I moved into a bigger city where I started to see more diversity come along more Asian, come along more um black, more other types of Hispanics.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then it wasn't when I moved to Texas, where Texas here, it for some reason it became a whole melting pot of different types of Latinos.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I got there Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Mexicans, Salvadorians, Hondurians, like you have a different types of Latin America and different types of Caribbean.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um and it wasn't until I started traveling to other countries and traveling to other Places where I'm like whoa, everything that I've known, everything that I believe in just went out the window.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: So funny, funny story.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_03: So in 2025, I held a retreat in Morocco.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, everybody was like, I don't know, do you really want to do that?
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_03: They're Muslim over there, and well, you can't wear your dress, you can't do this, you can't do that, and then what are you?
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_03: Aren't you worried?
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_03: Aren't you scared?
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_03: When I tell you Morocco is a magical place, Morocco is a magical place.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_03: The people are beautiful.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_03: That uh idea that you have to be covered is not true anymore.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_03: It was like that at one point many years ago.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so my whole point is that there's an idea of what Morocco is, but when you go there, it's completely different.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_03: And when I went to Africa in 2023, or 22, whenever that was, 22, um I remember more than one person telling me, you made me think completely differently about Morocco because I looked at your stories about Africa, even though Morocco is in Africa, but I went to South Africa.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um so again, why?
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: Because we're taught this.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_03: What do we think when we think Africa?
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_03: We think about those commercials with the bugs and the babies.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but Africa is gorgeous.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_03: So um, you know, again, when you think about when you start understanding that every belief that you believe, everything you believe has been taught, and you start questioning every single thing you believe, your whole world will open up.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's so true.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah, it is so true.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you do believe that specific theme, of course, you're gonna start seeing it everywhere, and you are probably gonna attract it as well.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't know if you saw um so the World Cup just happened, and all on social media people are talking crazy smack about Argentina.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're so racist, they're so this, they're so that.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was just in Argentina in May.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: I went to Argentina, was there in different um towns, different cities.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: Not once did I experience what everybody else has been talking about.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: On the contrary, I had the most magical time over there.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've met healers, I've met other entrepreneurs, I've met people who were just opening up with open arms, different races, not just because a lot of people say, Oh yeah, they're just they think they're they think they're the Europeans of um Latin America and that there's only white people there.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I've seen not just the complexity of white, I've seen brown, I've seen black, I've seen other races and ethnicities there.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I hear all of that, I'm like, wow, but I mean at the same time, every country is like that.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like they're they have their own many countries are, yeah.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: Many essential racism, and um it can also be political too, colorism, yeah.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: It can also be political too.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like not a lot of countries like their political government, and but you know what?
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: When you go to those specific or to when you go to different countries, you really don't see that.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: You see more of like the people who are there to welcome you.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: You get to experience um human side, exactly, exactly.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I I feel like that's something that we lost a lot of um connection towards.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until the World Cup started coming here in the US and started seeing the diversity of other countries being here, other people from other countries being here.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, it's like, wow, we're still talking crap about other countries.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: First, go experience that country and then come back and let me know.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: I I think I think what's interesting though is that here's the here's the truth is that um these stigmatisms, or um what do we call them?
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: I'm looking thinking about the word, but they're out there for a reason, right?
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's not completely made up, it's not completely made up, right?
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_03: There are reasons why um um they say whatever about Puerto Ricans, or they say whatever about right.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not saying it's all wrong.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_03: What I am saying is that while that is true, the other thing is true too, right?
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: So there could be two truths, and I think also what gets highlighted a lot of the time is the clickbait, and whether we're talking internet version or on the news or whatever, fear is what they like to instill in us because that is what sells.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's true, that is true, Jessica.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_00: I love your knowledge, your wisdom.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: This conversation has been just been totally seeing that from a different perspective.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I absolutely uh appreciate that from you.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we both learned a lot.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, thank you again for being here with us.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us, for sharing not only what you teach, but also the experiences that shaped you as well.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope other women and other um other people or listeners here in our podcast also got the same take.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, where can people find you?
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: Where can they reach you?
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: Where can they follow you?
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so they can follow me.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_03: I'm usually hanging out on Instagram at jessicarivera.co or TikTok under the same handle and Facebook under the same handle.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's also my website, jessicarivera.co, also on LinkedIn.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I am creating something super special that will help people get paid and promoted.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, so I have a currently have a wait list for that.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_03: So definitely hop on the wait list.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that sounds nice.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'll put all of that and we'll put a lot of that in the description box as well, so you guys can just click away.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: And um, once again, thank you so much, Jessica, for being here with us.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_00: We truly, truly appreciate you.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't wait to see you thrive and see you flourish.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.