Latest / Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy / 420 | What is Wrong With Our Field? (New Series) Have We Lost Our Heart?

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420 | What is Wrong With Our Field? (New Series) Have We Lost Our Heart? · Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy

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  You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,
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  your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.
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  Hi,
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  I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
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  The Kid Counselor.
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  This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get
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  a master class in child-centered play therapy
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  and practical support and application for your
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  work with children and their families.
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  Today's episode,
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  we are tackling a new series.
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  We just finished MythBusters,
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  which was a lot of fun.
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  And we are diving into a completely new series.
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  This will be a short one,
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  probably only 7 or so episodes,
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  but we're going to talk through
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  what's wrong with our field.
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  Which I know isn't the most pleasant of topics
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  for a series,
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  but y'all,
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  this is stuff we need to talk about.
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  And this is stuff that we can't shove under the rug and it's
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  stuff that we can't just accept as the way that it is,
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  air quote.
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  This is stuff that we need to address.
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  We need to be vocal about.
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  We need to confront
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  common practice.
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  We need to confront what has become accepted
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  because it flies in the face of child-centered play therapy,
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  and
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  I think that
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  it's our due diligence
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  and it's required of us to
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  not take things at face value.
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  And actually determine what is best practice
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  and,
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  and what are our motivations and what are we trying to accomplish and,
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  and how do we remain adherent to the model
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  at all.
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  So,
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  we're gonna have a short series,
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  What's Wrong with our field.
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  And today,
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  I want to tackle
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  some feedback I got
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  from one of the conferences in which I spoke.
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  And
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  We get
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  anonymous survey feedback.
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  So,
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  obviously,
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  I can't connect to attendee,
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  but I get all of the scores,
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  you know,
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  APT does all of the scoring.
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  And
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  they give quantitative and qualitative.
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  And so,
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  you know,
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  it's like the
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  1 through 5
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  Likert scale kind of thing.
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  And then they're able to say whatever they want in the,
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  you know,
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  additional comments.
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  And so I'm able to read all of that every time I speak.
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  And the most recent conference
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  at which I spoke.
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  I mean,
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  the vast majority,
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  there were 150 some odd attendees.
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  So
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  the vast majority,
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  very,
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  very positive feedback.
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  But of the ones that were not positive feedback,
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  It was scathing
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  responses.
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  And I'm not going to deep dive it.
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  I'm not going to pay it a whole lot of airtime.
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  But I do want to address a couple of the things that were said.
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  Because
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  I think it speaks to a bigger issue,
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  a bigger concern,
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  and a bigger problem.
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  About being a play therapist.
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  If
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  the perception
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  is as indicated in the feedback.
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  And
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  so,
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  let me go back before I start telling the story about the feedback,
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  let me go back to
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  Rogers
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  for a sec.
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  I mean,
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  I should probably go back to Rogers for,
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  for weeks on end,
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  but
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  in this episode,
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  let me go back there for a second.
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  We know what Rogers was about.
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  We know the core conditions.
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  We know unconditional positive regard.
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  We know genuineness.
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  We know empathy.
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  We know congruence.
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  We know relationship at the heart of everything that we do.
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  The belief that humans
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  want to become better,
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  and they do that within the confines of certain conditions.
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  And we can trust them
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  to do their own healing work.
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  We don't have to be the expert.
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  We don't have to be the one governing and dictating things.
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  So,
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  that was Roger's
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  theory
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  that was posited.
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  Then ax line
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  Was able to say,
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  OK,
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  so
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  person-centered approach,
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  client-centered approach,
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  wow,
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  what if the person and the client is a child,
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  then what?
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  So the ax line
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  Takes Roger's work and says,
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  Here's what this would look like if it was a child
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  in the room with us.
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  And then Landreth
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  gave us
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  actionable skill-based
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  operations
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  of how to
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  work with a child
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  in a
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  client-centered way.
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  So,
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  it kind of took that progression from Rogers to Axline to Landreth
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  to the CCPT that we know today.
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  And at the heart of it all,
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  at every step along the way.
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  Was deep honor,
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  love,
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  acceptance,
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  and respect.
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  For the person
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  That
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  known and stated.
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  My heart breaks for kids.
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  All the time
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  Truly,
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  deeply,
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  genuinely
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  breaks.
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  For kids,
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  for their pain,
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  for their struggles,
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  for their
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  Experiences
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  for the trauma.
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  For
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  the situations in which they live,
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  for the relational stuff,
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  for the social stuff,
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  for the social media influence,
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  for the screens and the addiction
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  to devices,
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  for
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  the divorce stats,
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  for the abuse,
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  for the neglect,
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  for the,
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  for all of it.
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  My heart breaks for kids.
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  And
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  the feedback that I got.
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  From the conference
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  From several individuals.
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  Was that
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  I know how to turn on the waterworks when it suits me,
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  end quote.
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  And I could take that personally,
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  and I,
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  I could be offended or hurt or angry or all kinds of things about it.
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  But my,
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  my takeaway was.
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  What is wrong with our field
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  that our hearts don't break for kids?
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  How do you do this work?
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  How do you
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  see children?
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  How do you call yourself a play therapist?
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  If your heart doesn't break
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  for what these kids are going through.
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  If your heart doesn't tear in two at the pain they bring in.
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  And they give you a front row seat to witness them dealing with all of that.
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  The dark and the dreary
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  and the depth of the misery.
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  All of it
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  They invite us in and we walk that journey with them.
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  You don't walk away from that unfazed.
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  You don't walk away from that as if it was no big deal.
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  I don't know how you could.
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  And
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  when I think about what that says,
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  that statement
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  that it was all a show and that it was just,
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  I was just crying to make a point or to,
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  you know,
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  get empathy,
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  I don't even know really what that meant other than
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  I can turn on the waterworks when it suited me.
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  Y'all,
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  I lovingly and gently.
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  Say this
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  You should not work with kids
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  if you don't cry for them every once in a while.
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  It's just that simple.
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  I'm not saying you bring it home with you.
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  I'm not saying that you carry it around as a burden.
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  I'm not saying that you can't separate work from personal.
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  I'm not saying that you get too invested in your clients.
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  I'm not saying that
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  you let their burden become your burden.
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  There are boundaries.
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  There have to be.
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  That's self-care and that's self-preservation and that
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  makes sure that you don't burn out
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  and it's ethics and there's all kinds of things that go in
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  to
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  making sure
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  that we hold lines
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  and we have boundaries.
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  But every once in a while.
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  It's just going to hit and it's OK to cry.
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  Some of the kids that I've worked with in 21 years.
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  The stuff that they played out.
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  It was crushing.
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  To watch crushing.
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  If you look at the state of children right now,
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  their childhoods are robbed from them.
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  Their play has been taken away.
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  They spend all their free time on devices.
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  They don't know how to have relationships.
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  They don't know how to interact with anybody.
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  They don't know what free play is like
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  because they have helicopter parents that hover over them
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  and manage,
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  micromanage every second of their day.
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  They're overscheduled.
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  They have homework in kindergarten.
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  The divorce rate is 7.5 out of 10 families.
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  The,
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  the.
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  Drug crisis,
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  the,
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  I,
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  I mean,
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  gosh,
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  I can go on and on and on.
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  If that doesn't strike a chord within you as a play therapist.
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  I don't think you're in the right profession.
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  I don't think you care deeply enough about kids.
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  If this doesn't break you in two sometimes.
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  And the beauty of child-centered play therapy is.
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  That we keep showing up.
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  Because
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  it's not about us and it's not up to us,
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  and we're not coming in to fix.
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  We're not coming in to rescue.
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  It's not our job to be the savior.
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  It's not our job to be the dictator of what's going to happen when.
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  We don't rush the pace.
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  We don't force stuff.
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  We don't have agenda.
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  We show up
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  and we sit in the muck in the mire and all that crap.
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  Because that's what CCPT is all about.
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  We are CCPT.
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  And we hold it together in the playroom
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  because that's what's required of us.
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  We're adherent,
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  we're faithful,
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  we're neutral,
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  we're calm.
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  We don't allow ourselves to get charged.
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  We don't interrupt the process.
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  We don't deviate from the model.
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  To the best of our ability,
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  we sit in that space,
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  we sit in the pocket of all that stuff.
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  And we hold it together for the child.
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  Because
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  we trust that the child is doing meaningful,
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  necessary,
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  impactful work.
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  And
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  we get to the other side of that session or that case,
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  and
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  It's like,
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  man,
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  can you believe what that kid worked through?
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  Can you believe how brave that kid was?
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  Can you believe how much courage that took?
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  Can you believe the transformation that we witnessed?
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  Man,
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  that's amazing.
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  That's child-centered play therapy,
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  but it doesn't come without tears.
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  It doesn't come without heartache and pain.
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  Y'all,
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  it's OK to feel,
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  it's OK to be human,
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  it's OK to cry every once in a while.
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  That's who we are.
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  There's a gentle,
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  quiet confidence to this work.
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  Because
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  we know how effective it is.
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  So,
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  I'm never emotional over the fact that I'm confused or,
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  or frustrated or floundering or gosh,
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  I'm hoping and I'm not really sure what's going on.
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  It's not that kind of pain and tears.
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  It's pain and tears on behalf of our kids.
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  Our clients who trust us every single hour that they're in the playroom with us
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  to walk alongside them.
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  And serve as guide rails.
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  That's an honor.
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  It's a privilege.
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  It's a gift.
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  It's a blessing.
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  On both sides.
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  But it doesn't make it easy.
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  And it doesn't make it any less hard on certain days.
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  And sometimes
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  you just have to cry for your kids.
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  Please don't lose the tenderness of this model.
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  Please don't feel guilty
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  when
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  you're emotional about stuff.
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  That's what CCPT is all about.
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  Its relationship.
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  Think about
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  a strong relationship you have in your life.
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  It doesn't matter who,
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  your friend,
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  your spouse,
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  your
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  children,
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  your parents,
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  your whoever.
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  Think about a close relationship you have.
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  Do you celebrate when they celebrate?
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  Do you grieve when they grieve?
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  Do you feel their pain when they're in pain?
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  Do you cry sometimes because they're crying?
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  Of course you do.
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  That's relationship.
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  That's at the heart of what we do as CCPT,
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  and I think it is a
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  Sad,
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  tragic,
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  egregious
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  norm right now.
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  That
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  we act as if this is just a job.
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  And play therapy says you don't,
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  you don't need to feel and you don't need to
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  get invested and you don't need to get involved and
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  you just go and see your clients and check your boxes and go home.
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  That's not what CCPT is all about.
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  So don't let that get forgotten.
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  Don't let that get lost.
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  We are tender,
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  we are empathic,
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  we are congruent.
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  We are genuine
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  And sometimes that means we cry over our kids.
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  That's what makes us CCPT.
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  I love y'all.
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  We'll talk again soon.
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  Bye.
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  Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
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  For more episodes and resources,
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  please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.