Latest / Dear Son, / Don’t Remove It. Refine It. | Fine-tune Your Parenting Approach | Ep 144 The Dear Son, Show

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Don’t Remove It. Refine It. | Fine-tune Your Parenting Approach | Ep 144 The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we live.
• 0:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the dear song show where we have real life conversations.
• 0:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Damn young men and men know now.
• 0:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we wish we knew then.
• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm one of your host Jay Black.
• 0:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: These are the hosts.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's up, good brother?
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Feeling good, man.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: For the good man.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Had a real life check this morning, my pop.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I found out he went to the ER last night.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, in the AM.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 0:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Early AM, vertigo.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not the first time he had episode with it, but this one kind of hit.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm assist to hit me.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I woke up to it.
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I talked to him before just before we started.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: About twenty minutes before we started.
• 0:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not even so much concern, it's the realization that they agent.
• 0:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Boy, aging, it'll be.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: They are.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Seventy-seven this year and I'm like, ah, you get so used to seeing them away.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Trust me.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 0:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: It looks different and feels different.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you see that new version of them, you know what I mean?
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, I don't recognize it, but this new reality, I got to adjust to this.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Especially because we're not in it like there, in Virginia, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we see them when we see them, they do face time and all that, but
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like when he's like, you know, my father's like, be outside.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So he did.
• 1:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And right now he would have been on this second hour outside.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Easily.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I know that's the most annoying thing for him is that he got a system where it's still.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll say prep my pops.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't even see this.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know you already be straight.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We trust in that.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: How about you, man?
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything good.
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's saying, actually, I'm, I'm giving my pops moving along.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, he had a house fire here recent.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so we're dealing with that.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: and just dealing with him adjusting to, he's also in a phase of not being as independent as he used to be, but he hasn't come to that realization yet.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we fighting the fact that you can't do that.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So just, just, oh, but I can't.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, but I can't, you know, it's true.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: He fall out with the GPS every day.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because the GPS is a liar based on my dad.
• 2:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what he was doing.
• 2:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And my day that street was another day.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but look, we don't get right on in the mix.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: We got a good topic.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Today news to me.
• 2:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Listen, he has not heard this topic whatsoever.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: The topic of today that we will be discussing on this episode is, don't remove fine tune.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't move.
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm too.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's your initial thoughts?
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's your guy?
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Look, immediately came to mind.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had a post that talked about our parents.
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: We were parents.
• 2:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Our parents prepared us for a world that they understood and expected.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have a totally different world.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe we need to parent our children differently, paraphrasing it.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe our screen shot.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I put it up.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: But one of the responses was don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, you gotta, some things need to be updated because the world is different, but don't abandon everything because a couple things aren't working.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's immediately what it took me.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's funny, you say that because, you know, my country broke localism.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was about to drop that.
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: But dealing with the same, I'm doing a lot of, my wife's exploring a lot of health options for the house.
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like she, someone hit her in the house on that plan now, you know, that's just got hit to go.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And no more flowering house.
• 3:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: No more weed products at all.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what's happening now is a lot of things that
• 3:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: ancestors did, we didn't necessarily know the science behind why they were doing it.
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because we didn't know the science, we started to drift away from it.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: But now, right, all of the research and all of the new found sciences
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: are just pointing us right back to what the ancestors were doing anyway.
• 3:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: He plans.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: He plans.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Put the vinegar on the green and working earth.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't know why you were doing it.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: They were doing it because they were telling us good for you.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that was it.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But that goes back to another episode of if I don't know the reason I'm doing something.
• 4:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm prone to abandon it because I don't know the value of that thing.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: At the very least try something else.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: At least I'm gonna try something else because I'm not rooted in this thing that I don't completely understand.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: So with that,
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of things we're going to now face while as parents as fathers with these these sons of ours.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: As y'all have been noticing, we've we're we're almost keeping track of log life chronicle if you will of how to or how not to.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: We want to look at it.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever works don't transition your son, your child from high school to life.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's variations.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's fumbles.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's grabs.
• 4:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's catches, right?
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in the spirit of the topic for the episode, there's traits that our children have that we don't necessarily agree with, right?
• 5:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because we don't necessarily agree with those traits, we as parents will look at ourselves and how we would handle the situation and want to take that out of them.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get that out of you all together and reinvent this thing.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you think as far as the benefit of, hey, I'm not going to remove that trait from you.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: That could work out for you.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 5:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: But how can we find a way to find a tune that thing?
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, how would you apply that?
• 5:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's so I got to stop saying things in front of you.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was crazy.
• 5:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a line completely in line.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: one of the other posts that I put up since the last one was, how difficult is it to parent the you out of your child?
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I saw it.
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when you talking about these traits, those are the traits that had me mad because they got it from me, but they don't work for them like they work for me or I believe in my mind.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: They work like that for me.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: So what am I or my son?
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Interestingly enough, yesterday,
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: He made a life choice.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we're talking about, you know, school, college, what's the next moving all of that?
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're saying y'all about the, y'all about hit the roll.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, sure that after this, yeah.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, my son was talking about trade schools and I kind of left it to him to actually chart the course.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what are the trade schools in the area, right?
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Trade are you interested in?
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: So he was consistent with his answer.
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yesterday, we had a tool.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: We went to Lincoln Tech, which I was familiar with from the Breakfast Club, DJ envy, is always shouting them out.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think he's that's a part of the school, because he has a lot of cars.
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the big things they know for us is automchanics.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: but the Donovan decided on being an electrician.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: We walk through, I was playing the back, playing the background, and you know what I'm saying?
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm following this as your tool, it's fine.
• 7:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: He walking there, very certain.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is my name, and I don't know.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if everybody expects their child to do that.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: But these are some things that it's like, you know you planted that seed.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: may be germinated, but I think I think I'm gonna push out a really, when they push up through the earth is then root strong enough.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: So when somebody responded in the way how did they actually, you know, deal with it?
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, this is life.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is not going to get it.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: You trying to go to the day school, day school, going to school, whether you're there or not, the other students going to go through, whether you're there or not.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it was interesting to see that part of them, but to, to, to, to tie it to your question is the trait that I'm struggling with is how late back years.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm laid back, but I know the plans that I have for me, right?
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm always with God and it's frustrating because like if you don't know what's going on inside that brain, you left it your own devices of
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: your lens.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 8:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Your lens influence the my lens influence him.
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: But my lens is not his lens and it shouldn't be because he lived a very different life.
• 8:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: My dad lived a very different life.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: His dad lived a very different life.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like that that kind of.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, we say the finish lines are also starting blocks like red.
• 8:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: He, he.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's positioned himself in the storm block.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Figure out his form and was asking questions and
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was trying to make sure that I was not guiding the conversation at any point.
• 8:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we went through the process and he's effectively enrolled.
• 8:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: So to start in August, we got some hurdles to figure out.
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm deciding to say that on air because I want to be transparent with the story the whole way through, right versus
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Boom, it worked.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, no.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is part of it.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a part of it.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: We expect this.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hopefully there's no hurdles or obstacles that we can't overcome, right?
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if they are, you know, what, what, what's next?
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you've got to, if you've got to adjust and we don't go through that in real time.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's really to me that I see in my kids, specifically talking about my son at this point, that's irritating me because my trace aren't yielding the results that I had at that point.
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's an unfair comparison.
• 9:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Trying to undo.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's kind of the same, but the issue, the issue is delayed back.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: My son too cool for school and my opinion, but again, that's my opinion.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to be me, you don't have to be who I am, but the version of you.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need the more active, aggressive version of your chill because you don't have that luxury, my boy.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Active chill.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you don't have that luxury.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now, again, the beauty of our show is the transparency.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just like you said, there's hurdles that you mentioned a lot of people that are shy away from mentioning that part of life.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now it's not relatable.
• 10:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's important that you know the journey.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you go through this same thing, you can see that
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: and deal with it accordingly.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're not, we're not counselors, we're not advisors, we don't have it perfect.
• 10:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're in real time figuring this thing out, sending kids off to college, that of the trades, school, life, world, all of it.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: So another transparent moment is I had a conversation with my wife.
• 10:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: My son basically expressed a concern to concerns that
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had to reevaluate my parenting a little bit to see if I was on track.
• 10:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then if it was accurate, he basically mentioned that one was, it seems like I was checked out on his school process.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to say I'm checked out, but I see things moving differently than
• 11:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would.
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: So my version of not trying to impose me on you.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to respect your version of you and see, let's see how this thing gonna go.
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I don't agree with how some of it is rolling.
• 11:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like some of the time I told you at the beginning, you graduate and enjoy it.
• 11:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Celebrate a few days.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's get to it though, because you, you're gonna school July.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: First week of July, you're gone.
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: like we're taking you in like you which is now which is now.
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now here we are.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: We twenty four hours out.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 11:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, do you have this?
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you do this?
• 11:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you order this?
• 11:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: This and this?
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why not?
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are we doing?
• 11:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Help me.
• 11:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not bashing my son.
• 11:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just pulling a thing out about.
• 12:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: find tuned you know how to me like like I removed my insertion I said to find tuned my insertion right so because I removed my I'm like nope nope I'm bashing I'm I'm on you I'm gonna give you a break no don't get these kids no break as they say keep your foot on their neck until they succeed and then you slack up
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is it uncomfortable for them?
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Certainly.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are they going to like you for that?
• 12:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not always.
• 12:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's more important though?
• 12:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do I want you to be my friend or do I want you to succeed in life?
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I told all of my sons, all of my children.
• 12:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be the villain for your success.
• 12:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be your friend and then now you crash out in life.
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not productive.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have you can't provide for yourself.
• 12:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: If it takes you having a chip on your shoulder about me or my parenting style, I accept.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's my charge.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the other issue is he expressed a concern that our conversations have drifted into correction or guidance or there's no fluff.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the next my word, not he is.
• 13:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's no fluff.
• 13:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's no
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: fun, jokeity, joke, laughy.
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I get it.
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know a lot of people will be like you, because obviously that is my personality.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm, but I'm equally serious about serious things.
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You want to be honest when it's time for business, it's time for business.
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And your life.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: maybe I'm overly and please like share and subscribe but please share time in and let me know thoughts and and concerns and you as well because you said right in front of me and I obviously respect and value your opinion.
• 13:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: If there's an overkill of
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: We see things they cannot see.
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because of that, we're looking at, you're looking right in front of you.
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: My son has been to fifty two parties this summer.
• 14:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we, in four weeks.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And four weeks, this boy has set a record, man, I'm like, damn, let's give him a point.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You get it.
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Brother, boy went to a nine p.m.
• 14:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: pool party one night.
• 14:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Man, it would have lived in all of it.
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the thing, because none of it, none of it went somewhere at five o'clock, came in at nine o'clock, and it was one of them coming and going straight up to the stairs.
• 14:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh, it's something wrong?
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 14:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Keesha said something to my wife.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Keesha said something to her.
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm grabbing my trunks.
• 14:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to hang out at the summer, so how's your.
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the thing.
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, y'all got it like that?
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Y'all, y'all, moving the groove.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: That he cares.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: On the on the Tuesday?
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: They swung in, dropped his truck, I've ran in the house, grabbed a hole, another bag, freshened up or whatever.
• 14:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 14:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And they're back out, I look out there, I see his truck, something he had to create.
• 14:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Somebody had followed him and scooped him.
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was, yeah, I got this down to a size, my wife.
• 15:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I say that to say, I'm seeing this and I know, I know this deadline coming.
• 15:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: I gave that border and in the grasshopper store.
• 15:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: The ant diligently working the whole summer because winter is coming, my boy.
• 15:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Grasshopper, he deported red.
• 15:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: He getting loose.
• 15:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now he's watching and ridiculing the ants for stacking all of this food.
• 15:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: For now, hey, the environment out here is about to get real bad.
• 15:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Prepare yourself.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's too beautiful out here, man.
• 15:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna waste this beautiful day on preparation.
• 15:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I was watching that in real time with my boy.
• 15:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'd really not preparing yourself for school.
• 15:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's almost like I'll switch back in the school mode when I show up.
• 15:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, sir.
• 15:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not a thing.
• 15:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't do that.
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, twenty-four miles out.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: wife went in the mom mode because she kind of did it too.
• 15:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: She was like, let's see.
• 15:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I gotta see.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't continue to be the net.
• 16:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
• 16:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's see.
• 16:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Crashed out.
• 16:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I I have no advice for you because I have a version of that right right because as we've been talking about I've been Sunday so on you Sunday so on you and Pat Comps says about I get it.
• 16:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get it But it's those moments where you see a thing Like this is not gonna go for you But if you choose a control that you can control I'm not talking about like he it's it's a near death experience, but I'm just like
• 16:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: the way you get up at one p.m.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: We had a conversation about it, and I'm saying I've...
• 16:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna put him out there because the way it is, and I figured out what it is, like this morning kind of confirmed it.
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: You saw he was up.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: So he's coming his day is ending then.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's ending then.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: He about to go have an eight and two and one and I was missing that part.
• 17:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not that it makes it any like that's what you're choosing to do.
• 17:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 17:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm like, Son, you're
• 17:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: your little brother and sister had to come in your room and cut your lawnmower.
• 17:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wow, you out of there out of there.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's not, that's not going to work.
• 17:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So again, yesterday was a aha moment and I feel like what was missing was his connection to the next step.
• 17:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like having an idea and even in your friend circle, like
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's working, he's going to school, whatever it is, the same I think.
• 17:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think part of it was.
• 17:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody around me seems to have an action plan that they're actively in.
• 17:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know what my thing to say is, that's about to happen with me.
• 17:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm hoping that it works out.
• 17:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now he got about a cool month before the program starts, provide that he starts as intended.
• 17:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: To figure it out.
• 18:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: And the schools I think is from one to five every day,
• 18:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: and they say they do that because a lot of companies will come and recruit.
• 18:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: and like the good students who actually have an opportunity to work.
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So they get opportunity to have work for five hours in a morning morning.
• 18:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: He had the school, right?
• 18:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's doubling down on the effectiveness of like the repetition of the actual activity.
• 18:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's amazing.
• 18:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So they teach.
• 18:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: They teach less time than they actually actively do something.
• 18:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to explain the principle then you go into your bay and try to apply that principle then that course they did to help you with all of that is amazing.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: But let's just say, but
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, my father says saying, but contradicts everything that you said right before.
• 18:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's always stuck with me.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, also with that, it's going to take a love of maturity that I haven't seen.
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe that's buried with them, but they got an uproot.
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: thirty thirty thirty thirty-three-one thirty-two days.
• 19:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not for that thing.
• 19:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we want to be exact thirty-two days.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: My mom asked me a question of it.
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: They she was like, um, you think he wants to come here and go to the print school while I went.
• 19:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why ended up in the shipyard?
• 19:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 19:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: The immediate note.
• 19:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the thing is, I'm like, man, that there's so much difference between me and him because at
• 19:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was going into the prison.
• 19:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had done a semester and college didn't work out and ended up getting the job and then by that April of what would have been the clothes of my first full year.
• 19:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was in the apprentice school.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: The apprentice school required me to get up.
• 19:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: at that six, be there by six, fifteen, six, thirty to park and then walk the mile.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, no.
• 19:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be there by six, fifteen to park.
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you didn't have to walk a mile.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 19:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or you could be there at six, forty five and walk a mile.
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you got to be clocked in at seven, which at two was ready to go.
• 19:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just saying, I'm like, I don't know that.
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I haven't put him in, he's not been in a situation in life that has prepared them to actually say, oh, this is, this is my world then, great.
• 20:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's what I kind of want to throw back at you.
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, as, as I'm looking at it, what I'm thinking is, man, he's missed moments are stacking up and they compounded.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, through your frustration and what part of it, and I'm not taking a wheel, no, like, what part of it is, no, I don't mind.
• 20:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: What part of it is you?
• 20:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna watch this.
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna drag her in here too.
• 20:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: We all lost in me and her.
• 20:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: He saw things in sports, right?
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm gonna give you some some responsibility to do this, do this, do this, do this, these are your things.
• 20:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you have you fall off, it's a misunderstanding.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like different chores or different timeslots.
• 20:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like,
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Two days a week, I don't care what you got going on.
• 21:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You need to be up at six a.m.
• 21:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: putting trash out.
• 21:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: That third day you need to be up at six a.m.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: putting that that recycle out.
• 21:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's the three days of an obligation on time.
• 21:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I can honestly say even with the high school thing, I haven't had to go in this room and wake him up like in
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to say two years, it's junior and senior year.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was on autopilot.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm encouraged by watching, once we backed off of that, it was on you and you still kept that pushing.
• 21:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was encouraged by that.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: However, there are things where it's a wonder of, did I fumble by, hey, you need to go get a job, like you need that high school job experience?
• 21:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, we made an attempt at,
• 21:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: We made an attempt at a high school job at one point.
• 21:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And during the summer, one of the summers.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: But he's always been playing basketball.
• 21:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: But so he was like, I want to work.
• 21:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I knew it was for the wrong reason.
• 22:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: All of his homeboys and friends were working at the movie theater.
• 22:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: He wanted to go work at the movie theater.
• 22:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I said, listen, I gave him a whole spirit about this not a clubhouse, bro.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't go up here thinking, y'all fit to be big kicking it.
• 22:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you're going to get everybody fired.
• 22:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're not playing with you people, man.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Go, go to work.
• 22:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't want to work, I almost want you to go do something else.
• 22:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Kick it with your partners in your personal time.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you go to work, it's time to go to work.
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Passively, you, you shown interest in this job.
• 22:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You go up there.
• 22:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, did you put the application in?
• 22:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you apply?
• 22:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was like,
• 22:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna do it Monday because I don't wanna do it today.
• 22:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why?
• 22:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: They might actually put you to work this weekend.
• 22:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I got plans.
• 22:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'ma write on.
• 22:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So to answer your question, little pieces like that, those are missed opportunities to be like, I know you lied to me.
• 22:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 22:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just told me you were interested in a job.
• 22:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Income.
• 22:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't know what the numbers are, but they're numbers.
• 23:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Every time the zero.
• 23:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Except negative.
• 23:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Talk about that later.
• 23:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry.
• 23:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now you have an opportunity to go work.
• 23:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you say, hey, I'll get to that Monday.
• 23:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But check with a Monday.
• 23:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, did you talk to the people about that job?
• 23:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: You were interested in it?
• 23:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I went up there.
• 23:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what did he tell me?
• 23:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: He said he went up there and talked to the people and to the effect of they were like, hey, can you do something Wednesday or something like that?
• 23:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: are called me Wednesday or something to that effect.
• 23:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was like, I'm going out of town, but when I get back, they were like, yeah, when you get back, give us a call.
• 23:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So he come and tell me this as though he just closed the deal.
• 23:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you just, it's over.
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I said, I'ma tell you right now, when you come back, then people not gonna know you.
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: We came back.
• 23:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's me that bucket that job.
• 23:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ain't nothing.
• 23:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's stuff like that.
• 23:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now in my opinion, I bet you're my son again.
• 24:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is this real life.
• 24:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to help these parents.
• 24:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we're about to need some counseling around here as as as group there with some of this stuff.
• 24:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: These kids got these parents going through, but you kind of doing that.
• 24:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 24:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right now we're going to school in a couple of days and there's a couple of things that you've known about since June one.
• 24:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't do.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I hate you.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did you?
• 24:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Did you do this right here?
• 24:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 24:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's a lot of it.
• 24:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Been a lot of big talk, man.
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got it.
• 24:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, so I got to get that bread.
• 24:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got to get that bread.
• 24:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got to get me some flow.
• 24:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I got, like I said, I think I mentioned before, he's asked me, you know, can I take him somewhere to see about a job?
• 24:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I know for a while.
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Target is online.
• 24:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: We'll go.
• 24:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And why we over here with the home depot?
• 24:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Just like, because if you keep getting the story from independent sources, yes, yes, maybe it'll start to make sense, but like, I mean, it's date, date, both of them in a game.
• 25:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 25:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, especially,
• 25:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: For what I've heard, like a couple of my partners in the summer programs, I never did one, but they said that was the best thing for them because it gave my chance to acclimate without all of the pressure and then all of the people and trying to find your way on the big campus and things like that.
• 25:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm, I'm hopeful for I'm rooting for you.
• 25:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm rooting for you.
• 25:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And let me put this little plug in.
• 25:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Surround yourself with great people because you need perspectives, right?
• 25:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was our neighbor, Adrian.
• 25:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were talking to somebody came to me of relative came to me.
• 25:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, hey, I got a great deal on these scooters.
• 25:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: These are the scooters that they, they bring out.
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 25:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: The, who was true.
• 25:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
• 25:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the lecture thing.
• 25:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now, it's like I got a player deal, man.
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's going, this, this, this, this, this.
• 26:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But first thing popped in my head was my grab one.
• 26:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not for the little, they got the other things.
• 26:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, my grab one.
• 26:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: The boy getting ready to go to school.
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: He could flip around campus on that boy.
• 26:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, talking to age, you're in the body.
• 26:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, hey man, um, gotta go deal on this school the thing.
• 26:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I know you son, going off the college.
• 26:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You want to school the form you was like, no, sir.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, um.
• 26:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I feel like a pap.
• 26:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: That pan, I'm popping.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Getting this ball scooter to ride around campus on his freshman semester.
• 26:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm cheating him.
• 26:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was like, no, I told my, you walk in.
• 26:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You walk in the campus.
• 26:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: He take, he let him take his truck, but he's on the parking.
• 26:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't fall in love with that driving around campus stuff.
• 26:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: You need the walk.
• 26:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's going to keep you in shape.
• 26:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Keep you active.
• 26:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Keep you grinding.
• 26:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Keep your hungry.
• 26:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Keep you connected.
• 26:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is everybody going to have your friends going to be walking?
• 27:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're free as you find.
• 27:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I don't think I can let this boy take this cooler.
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I bought it.
• 27:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's mine now.
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think I just I think I just I think I just talked to me and keep in that school.
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm in school.
• 27:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in school.
• 27:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in school.
• 27:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's how now.
• 27:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the money catch your neck caps on the school.
• 27:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Instant video.
• 27:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got the head.
• 27:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got the head.
• 27:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to put me a helmet on with the looks and everything.
• 27:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe we'll be doing it.
• 27:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: But he, I don't think he's getting the scooter because I even said it to his mind though about the scooter.
• 27:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's why I messed up that because she probably gonna be one of my boys scooter.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I tell the Asia we're tapping.
• 27:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: We'll see the over on there if they make the truck.
• 27:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm excited.
• 27:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like saying yesterday saying things, click my hand machine is walking through it.
• 27:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And he, he was looking back at me.
• 27:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: In my mind, I want to say validation, but making sure that I saw him actively in it.
• 28:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
• 28:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: When back, he had to get on the computer and put some information.
• 28:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the things that caught me was, it's the big pap on our side.
• 28:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: He had to be right at social security number.
• 28:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was like, you know what?
• 28:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And he had one who looks on his face like, hmm.
• 28:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I went to pull it up because I, you know, I have it in the place.
• 28:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 28:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Five kids.
• 28:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know all of them all the time.
• 28:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know any of them.
• 28:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: But, but he kept moving with the staff saying, you got it?
• 28:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 28:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, yeah.
• 28:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got it.
• 28:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh.
• 28:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 28:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you understand the somethings are important in life and you have to like your responsible for these things to have the plough for some kind of
• 28:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: License because the hours are tracked by I forgot with Commission or Authority it is as you go to school.
• 28:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yep on your way to being a journeyman and all of that.
• 28:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, and he was wrong to pull out his card and pay for I was like I was so kiss was like I love my she said I left my my my person to call I didn't get a connection She said you you have your card for it
• 29:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: He got a pay for the thing.
• 29:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: You right.
• 29:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: He has to pay for the thing.
• 29:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 29:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Got a pay for the thing.
• 29:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 29:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And he pulled out.
• 29:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, yeah, I got it.
• 29:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 29:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 29:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 29:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, because I know he never paid me back for all the time.
• 29:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, you just, uh, I'm gonna get you back.
• 29:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll put that on.
• 29:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Take that out to get you back.
• 29:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's fun.
• 29:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever count.
• 29:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because I know you got in the count to get that back account.
• 29:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 29:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: But taking out of there and deducted it from there.
• 29:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm hopeful.
• 29:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm hopeful.
• 29:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm hopeful at this point, man.
• 29:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna stay positive.
• 29:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You shoot, and that's, I'm glad you say that because I do have a question about that to the topic of the episode.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: The fine tune.
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You and I both know that Donovan is Kobe reincarnated.
• 30:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that confidence.
• 30:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have I dunked on anybody?
• 30:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Have I crossed me one up and took him to the hole and got loose on him?
• 30:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just called what you said.
• 30:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, because, let me show you out now.
• 30:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get rid of that thing.
• 30:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: That level of confidence.
• 30:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: That level of, I got this man out like Trisha.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is a formality I'm going through these little classes.
• 30:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not a fine-tool portion, right?
• 30:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, had you gotten that confidence out of them?
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't believe you so highly or you said, don't think that highly except what you did.
• 30:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: You get it.
• 30:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now because that we know it's there.
• 30:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's hilarious.
• 30:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: We know that young brother.
• 30:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 30:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: You ain't talking to me.
• 30:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now we get to now use.
• 30:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was worthless when it was being applied earlier.
• 30:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: See, attention to that paper.
• 31:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 31:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: When we see that skill, it's worthless.
• 31:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Stop this.
• 31:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: You walking through the house, show the bump in me, finger rolling a piece of paper into the tire.
• 31:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 31:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 31:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: You are crossing me.
• 31:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But now that confidence, we get the real life applied that thing because I didn't weed it out of you.
• 31:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't pull it out of you.
• 31:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I smirk that you with the, yeah, I got you.
• 31:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 31:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now,
• 31:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get timid and shot now.
• 31:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me fine tune that thing into.
• 31:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't be cocky and arrogant.
• 31:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not that it was, but let me show you how to use that.
• 31:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's in you already.
• 31:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Scott, do you see how you can say, hey, let me have this conversation with you, Sean, this is a grand opportunity you have and that level of confidence will absolutely prepare you to the front of this industry.
• 31:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's that's good because the tests are going to come more rapidly because it's trade driven.
• 31:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's demonstrating skills.
• 31:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 31:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: The difference in the traditional learning
• 31:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: environment, you're typically learning over a period of time.
• 32:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Then at some point, I mean, you might have a quiz every now and then.
• 32:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 32:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: But you're learning your aggregate information.
• 32:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, oh, my play.
• 32:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 32:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And college, it might be applied in the way that we haven't discussed before this.
• 32:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I assume that you got all the information that I told you to read.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I'm going to put you in this scenario and you figured out via your written response.
• 32:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the message is be prepared
• 32:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Daily.
• 32:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 32:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's no put-off.
• 32:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's no work on my lab later.
• 32:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's no I'll get to my job shots.
• 32:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's instruction, application, test.
• 32:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 32:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Instruction, application, test.
• 32:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And the test is actually real life damage.
• 32:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure they have some written tests too.
• 32:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the formula to figure out what the voltage is different than actually toying with the wires, not knowing what the voltage is.
• 32:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Ming bang that we don't we don't want that cause it was too great so I like that piece that Pete the the overbearing protective part of me wants to
• 33:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: be there to make sure he has gloves on glasses on god we know saying and did you it was why it's hard did you right but I can't do it number one I don't I don't I don't know enough to be dangerous I don't know enough to teach no at all right I don't even really change a plug in this house right my first house I was on it because I was Kobe I got it I don't even need to turn the panel off I got it
• 33:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I think that is a useful skill to have that confidence, but to understand how to apply it.
• 33:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 33:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Also understanding that you don't know everything and the people are there to help you not because you're a gift to them.
• 33:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: That piece of it.
• 33:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll never see my son cocky or anything like that.
• 33:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I want to ensure that he doesn't go in it.
• 33:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: either overconfident or too timid to ask because that's the other thing.
• 34:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're gonna be people that might, you know, that might be the guy next to you.
• 34:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: The girl next to you might have worked with their dad or their mom or their uncle.
• 34:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 34:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: They hold life.
• 34:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 34:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they jumping in and they know what this tool does and all of that.
• 34:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're in there with a dog.
• 34:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the other thing.
• 34:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: We went there with people who looked at their eyes.
• 34:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're in it.
• 34:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: Correct.
• 34:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Second chance of the career.
• 34:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
• 34:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Changing the trade that they're doing.
• 34:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you got to
• 34:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You got to be, you got to be assertive enough to get the help you need.
• 34:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 34:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I was, you know, it was just the tool, but I was impressed with the availability that they were promoting.
• 34:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 34:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: But it's going to be like, yo, I, does everybody get in this?
• 34:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody raise their hand and you don't want to don't get it.
• 34:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: You didn't get it.
• 34:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And whatever it looks like, you'd go off to the side or stay after it's those things that I'm
• 34:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: that he moves from a check the box.
• 34:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: I did this to know I got the concept and I can apply.
• 34:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's that's good because I just had this conversation as well.
• 35:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's amazing because again, do you have or do you create the habit of
• 35:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't understand that, do I make a note of that and revisit that thing?
• 35:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or do I try to just plow through, not realize and this thing builds on itself?
• 35:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: If there's any level of this thing that I do not understand, I must go back and catch that.
• 35:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I gotta rebuild it.
• 35:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I gotta bring that back.
• 35:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because now the next thing you're talking to me is though I have that.
• 35:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if I do not,
• 35:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now I don't have that over there and I have nothing to build on because one missed it.
• 35:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: So my wife and I attempted to have a conversation with my son last week about that very thing fine to him.
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I expressed to my son that if a person walked up to me right now and they asked me what's your son's thing?
• 35:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like academically, I don't know his academic identity.
• 35:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Meaning I know what his grades were in high school.
• 36:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what his love or passion is.
• 36:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's how laid back years.
• 36:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not for me to say, I'm a disconnected father or parent.
• 36:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's just, that's who he is.
• 36:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's how he exists.
• 36:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to take care of business and don't worry about it.
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's done.
• 36:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I allow that to roll because again,
• 36:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: over insertion is sometimes it's more negative than the positive impact you think you're having.
• 36:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we were talking him like, like, there's no wrong answer.
• 36:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just tell him, like, what are you into?
• 36:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are you like?
• 36:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Science, man, whatever.
• 36:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are you like?
• 36:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: So he was like, uh, was that?
• 36:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that was a moment of trying to point out to your child.
• 36:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to know yourself.
• 36:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 36:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to be a walk in resume.
• 36:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: If the right person walk up on you right now, those two parents, we're guilty of this as well.
• 36:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: We haven't did enough self-reflection to know things about ourselves to wear.
• 37:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you're about to go into a whole new realm of life that you've never been exposed to.
• 37:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, you don't know who knows who or who son or daughter your next to or rubbing elbows with.
• 37:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if the right person comes in front of you and asks you this question about yourself and you can't talk about yourself.
• 37:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Non-structured environment.
• 37:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get it if you're in an interview or a panel and they want you to move a certain thing, the nervousness may knock you off your square a little bit.
• 37:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you are in a layback environment,
• 37:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And your mind, which is having a conversation, and you still can't talk about yourself or your interests or what you can or cannot do or your strengths, your weaknesses.
• 37:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're not in tune with those things, how do you know which direction to go?
• 37:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't know your weaknesses, how do I know what I'm supposed to work on?
• 37:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do I need to structure?
• 37:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do I need to double down on?
• 37:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm weak on this.
• 38:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I need to fix this, if you don't know that about yourself,
• 38:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know when you shine away from it?
• 38:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you feel like you don't have the personality that I'm going to attack this weakness and fix it.
• 38:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I don't want to exist.
• 38:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or are you the person that don't ever go over that line on week over this?
• 38:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: They own my strengths.
• 38:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a detriment.
• 38:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Both of those approaches.
• 38:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You cannot do that.
• 38:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to find a way to say, no, I can't.
• 38:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't indefinitely be weak at something because eventually it's going to rear its head and I'm in trouble.
• 38:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what do you know about yourself?
• 38:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are you doing to fix or apply or say, hey, CEO of a corporation that you, you can't wait to go work there.
• 38:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just don't know that this is this person's daughter.
• 38:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 38:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And see, she and I like this kiddie.
• 38:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It kind of helping me.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 38:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then this person, she comes up to you and ask you in class one day, man, how long have you been loving this?
• 38:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really hate it.
• 38:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just kind of doing this.
• 38:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I can slide in over here Johnson.
• 38:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: What is my daddy company?
• 39:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just lost me.
• 39:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 39:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling my dad.
• 39:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't mess with it.
• 39:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 39:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: You see what I mean?
• 39:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you never know who you're talking to or when you own stage.
• 39:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you think you're sitting in the yard, but you really own state life is a stage, bro.
• 39:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 39:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's timely because the tour guide adds down to the net yesterday and I had an answer.
• 39:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: We had conversations about trade, but I didn't drill down into why electronics, but it was electrical and electronics, which was the other piece I didn't know.
• 39:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So both of those of you that.
• 39:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was listening to him answer the question and he gave a solid answer.
• 39:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Voice wasn't shaking, steady tone like I thought this through.
• 39:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And the tour guy was saying,
• 39:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: make sure you're sure about a thing because some people will pick a tree because we want to talk about trees and I seen in the corporate as well.
• 39:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: The highest paying thing.
• 40:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And he said, well, what happened is you'll get the highest paying thing and you'll do it for a couple years and you'll hate it.
• 40:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or you just won't be as good at it because you don't have to love for it.
• 40:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 40:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: So make sure that this thing that you're interested in has a genuine curiosity for you to stay curious for a long term this, a long time not that you can ever change.
• 40:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: But like do it for the right reason and his response, I was like, okay.
• 40:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So he and again, I was
• 40:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I, you know, Keisha was, Keisha's that, you know, sister.
• 40:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 40:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, they're sister.
• 40:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: But how we brothers and they sisters and the same.
• 40:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: That promise you.
• 40:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: That part worked out.
• 40:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, she was, she was, and she was trying to insert me in it.
• 40:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not falling her for this, but we didn't discuss my strategy.
• 40:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 40:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: So she was like, you know, having any more questions.
• 40:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm trust me.
• 40:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting everything.
• 40:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everything that I need right now.
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, because my concern, you know, it was certain things that if my son wasn't life hadn't presented enough information for him to get to that question, of course, I'm asking that.
• 41:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: But things about the curriculum, how the day goes.
• 41:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't, I'm not going to be going through that on.
• 41:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have nothing to investigate.
• 41:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not about a disconnect thing, but like, no, he
• 41:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: He has to be genuinely curious about what this thing is.
• 41:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: He signed it up for it.
• 41:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's going to take them.
• 41:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's going to be his next stage of life.
• 41:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 41:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I was, I was, I was, I was convinced.
• 41:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 41:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was convinced because, you know, I don't a part of the process is watching how they demonstrate their answers.
• 41:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 41:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: When I took myself out of college, it was a dare to my dad.
• 41:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't actually want to leave college.
• 41:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to go get a job.
• 41:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I told him I failed because college wasn't for me.
• 41:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's too hard.
• 41:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not.
• 41:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: He said, all right.
• 41:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: The loans coming to us for this.
• 42:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're not doing these loans like that's fine.
• 42:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Go get a job and I said, ah.
• 42:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm glad I had that experience because it gives me a point of relatability with my son cause actually went to a trade pride only went for a year.
• 42:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I understand what it is.
• 42:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like it was eight out of days for us and it was part, like I said part education, part academics and then part actual.
• 42:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: doing a trade.
• 42:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I know what it is for the overhead to send you to the two shop or pipe structure.
• 42:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
• 42:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
• 42:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or a bag of air.
• 42:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Get a bag of air, son.
• 42:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like that part of it, like the campus that it'll be on, it's a bit more confined.
• 42:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's all with the two shop and all that was.
• 42:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm waiting for those stories.
• 42:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 42:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then feel it, tell them.
• 42:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 42:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 42:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I had enough sense.
• 42:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like pipe structure.
• 42:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I see the joke, but I'm also gonna take a walk.
• 42:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, this is free time for me.
• 43:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so I'm excited.
• 43:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you should be and I feel the same way because less than I learned is I'm actively gonna set some real life in their benchmarks though because sometimes But what I've learned over this summer just this this quick live four weeks of this summer you have learned
• 43:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can be, I can be two hands off.
• 43:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this phase of his life needs, so ready to let the rains go.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And but I go be great.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm here though.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm here.
• 43:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you need me say something, they don't know that yet about, I do need somebody right here.
• 43:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: They don't know how to now look back and say, hey, stumbling right here.
• 43:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: They trying to fight they way through a stumble they way through it.
• 43:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's not good.
• 43:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now if a benchmark is set, okay, I need to reach out.
• 43:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's going on?
• 43:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: You good?
• 43:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm good.
• 43:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not good enough.
• 44:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
• 44:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I need some in-depth.
• 44:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on?
• 44:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's your work working on?
• 44:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you focus on?
• 44:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's the issue you had and how did you address it?
• 44:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't just tell me everything's been perfect because I know that's a lie.
• 44:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 44:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: It can't possibly be perfect.
• 44:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're in a new environment.
• 44:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nothing's ever going to be perfect.
• 44:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It wasted money.
• 44:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Waste of money.
• 44:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 44:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what's something that didn't go your way and what did you do to fix it?
• 44:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's active conversation that I need to have while he's down there.
• 44:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm calling.
• 44:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, everything good.
• 44:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're eating your card working, you're finding your sweet spot to slide into the dining hall.
• 44:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're messing with the dining hall or you Uber eating every day.
• 44:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: The meal pay for doesn't meal plan.
• 44:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Money has been paid.
• 44:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't get that money back.
• 44:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I need him to understand, that breath don't come back.
• 44:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's gone.
• 44:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 44:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Please use that up here.
• 44:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be, I'll give me some nuggets today.
• 44:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, sir.
• 44:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Go to the, go to the hall.
• 44:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's important to to along with lines with you saying is to make him feel secure and confident that the identifying the weakness is not a failure.
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 45:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm struggling here.
• 45:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's a real conversation.
• 45:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to have because
• 45:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: even if they've seen me struggle, they haven't always heard me talk about it.
• 45:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 45:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I know they pick, I know he might as well affect his pick that up.
• 45:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 45:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 45:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: My son, um, kind of remains to be seen, but if they, like again, the treats, the treats that have been kind of drilled and demonstrated before this, you know, I, as we talked about before, when I went out into the world, I was trying to make my dad proud by not calling him.
• 45:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 45:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: probably caused him more.
• 45:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I called him because now we got a problem.
• 45:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then thank God that I had parents that still were part of my problem.
• 45:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'll be, you know, there'll be some problems that will share, but I want them to know that.
• 45:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like you said, I'm struggling with this thing and can't just power through it.
• 46:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Or maybe I try to power through it for a time.
• 46:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 46:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: But this thing is set me back, man.
• 46:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm two principles behind the physics.
• 46:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I thought if I read it three more times, like, no, you need to do it.
• 46:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: You need somebody that can break this thing down at the fifth grade level, but it doesn't make you stupid.
• 46:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this is not your world, but it's part of your path.
• 46:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're becoming is becoming your word.
• 46:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because it's becoming, you have to humble yourself enough to say,
• 46:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not an expert yet, but I'll never be an expert.
• 46:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I let my pride kind of make me afraid or hinder me from asking for.
• 46:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, help me understand it.
• 46:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's good.
• 46:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: We got to be mindful of it.
• 46:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So more to follow.
• 46:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: More to follow.
• 46:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's a good sweet spot to kind of round that thing off, man.
• 46:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like what you got up was what's what's what's the good message you want to leave with the good people with with everything we got going on?
• 46:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would say, and this is the revelation for me.
• 46:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Trust the seas that you planted and let them let them demonstrate
• 47:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: whether they're working the night, man, because you can, you can overwater a plant.
• 47:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 47:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: You could protect it from the sun too much.
• 47:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 47:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you could, the private of oxygen for too long.
• 47:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 47:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the harvest mother, I'm doing my best to allow them to be, right?
• 47:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, it's that finding that, I don't like the balance, but finding the
• 47:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: the indicators of when it needs more or less of a thing.
• 47:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's what it is with me, because that balance is just, I don't, I don't describe the balance.
• 47:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: But recognizing that painting will one broad stroke all of a thing.
• 47:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 47:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm hands off.
• 47:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, right, right.
• 47:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now we discuss this fifteen times.
• 47:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Clearly, you want a different messaging or a different way of learning.
• 48:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 48:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: But for me, the assume, because we discussed this thing fifteen times and this other thing is similar to it.
• 48:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe that's too too broad of a stroke to suggest that you know, I'm hands off.
• 48:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's good.
• 48:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've done the same and that's my closing is I thought I was doing a good thing by backing off when actually
• 48:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: more interaction was was yearned for but not expressed right so I'm I'm thinking no news is good news right and that's not always the case really so checking ends and benchmarks are needed indeed yeah if I could before we go basically this line twenty light props to facilitate effective parenting is available for order physical copy and ebook thank you to those that have supported there might be some giveaways that was a a donor
• 48:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: So as those arrived, there'll be some opportunities to claim yours.
• 49:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 49:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 49:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Otherwise, by the way, by the way, support.
• 49:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why not support?
• 49:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why not support?
• 49:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: What does it have to do support?
• 49:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Love Kisha J. Her book, Chocolate Princess Volume One, as you're watching, there'll be an overlay if you're listening, the information is below with.
• 49:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, good children's book for young women of color, young scholars ages five.
• 49:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would say fifteen.
• 49:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh, by figuring out how your grandma read it to you to you.
• 49:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 49:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
• 49:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: So again, the message stays true.
• 49:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Stay tapped in and stay locked in.
• 49:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pay attention.
• 49:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pay attention.
• 49:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I say that a lot.
• 49:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pay attention.
• 49:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: The cost of checking out at the wrong time.
• 49:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: you wouldn't believe what it would take to undo such a thing.
• 49:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: If it can be under this, if it even can be under your point, continue to watch, like, share, and subscribe and support.
• 49:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And again, I told them, will be live before you know it.
• 50:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: We still working on a live.
• 50:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I said, don't care what the whole is accountable.
• 50:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: See you on the next episode.