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Transcript

You Will Not Outsmart Your Diet With More Gym Time · In Moderation

• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Inmoderation, where I just killed Mike because I commented his Michael Jackson's On the Wall album is not in fact on the wall.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: It is leaning against the wall.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: Go murder, grab it by the neck and squeeze it until it stops singing, Robert.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: Now go!
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_04: Art, don't you rent an apartment though?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like putting shit up when you rent an apartment is like, oh, I gotta like patch this when I leave.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_04: I remember that.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, no, I'm not doing shit to the walls.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have the money to do the to do the joke.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: The joke is for those of you who are not watching, I have Michael Jackson's off the wall album leaned up against the wall.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, this is Michael Jackson's acclaimed album on the wall.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's a one of one.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: And Rob's like, it's actually not on the wall because actually it's leaning against the wall.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: So um today I'm announcing my retirement from In Moderation, where I thought that this was a sanctuary for uh funds and jokes.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: But clearly it's it is not.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you just get an Epstein album on your ad?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can collect all the cards.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's off the ceiling.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: That's a whole different album.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to In Moderation, the show where we give you a moderate dose of info sarcasm, and we already know we're certainly not approved.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_04: We haven't done that intro in like fucking a hundred episodes.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_04: Surprising if you remember it.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: I know it's it's burned into my brain.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's uh that was part of I think the uh contract of me getting on the show was I had to do that.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: And then we just threw everything out convention, uh, decency, virility.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: The other part of the contract was you had to mention DeLorean every episode, but you failed to do that too.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_03: I I have I've spoken to HR and uh they were unkind to me.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Mike, I sent you cool flux capacitor lights.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Those were intended for you to use in the background of content such as this, but you have no lights.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's this this is where they film the ISIS B headings, is in this room.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I can't keep a lot of light in here because they gotta keep it you know PG 13.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: It'd be too HD for us.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah, that's how they get it onto the internet.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: But uh let me uh something that we we also do every episode is when I bring somebody on, uh I I don't say anything, really.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's not intentional.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: Please do.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I was gonna ask.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jackson Jen.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I am Mike's Tuesday and Sunday concubine.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um sometimes he allows to be more present.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's where we're at currently.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_04: Two two days a week is pretty good.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_04: How can you afford that, Mike?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_04: You're renting an apartment.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_04: Like, that's that I'm impressed.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: I've taken out an incredible amount of debt.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a concubine, I'm not a prostitute.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_04: Oh wait, I thought you saw Don't they still have to pay for that somehow?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know the laws of concubines, I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, Siri.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I understand is in feudal.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_04: You just had them as like kind of like a slave.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Concubine is a woman who cohabits with and has a sexual relationship with a man, but does not have the legal or social status of wife.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_04: So you still like I feel like that still costs money, though, right?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_04: No?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_04: Am I crazy?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think I get like room and board and it goes like once a month.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: If we weren't canceled before, we are now.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: We have to be.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, the we we just got like five billion more subs from the gay community.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's fantastic.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it is Pride Month.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: Uh happy Pride Month, everybody.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: Also, happy men's mental health month.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: Both can coexist.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's okay.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think anybody's listening to us that wouldn't agree with that.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Most inname thing.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no, it's actually this month.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's that month.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's also my birthday month.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Am I not allowed to have my birthday month?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: No, we only have the capacity for maybe two things.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: We're we're pushing it.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: Damn.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: Damn.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: So can you?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: What's it like turning 47?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: You think I'm 47.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's pretty good.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's pretty good.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad I made you feel better.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_04: I always seem to think I'm younger.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_04: That's my present to you.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_04: Is he making you feel better about turning 47?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a thing.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: People always think I'm younger than I actually am.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: I was shocked to find out that Jackson is uh basically my age as well.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like I had assumed you were quite a bit younger, and uh that that is not the case.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Asian parents on your first birthday they uh inject a little bit of the fountain of youth, they microdose it into your skin.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_04: It's in white culture, we do that with raw milk, and it has a very different reaction.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_04: Polio.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we miss out.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Which is why we're all lactose intolerant.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So pick your poison.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather have lack lactose lactase enzymes or or youthful skin?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: You choose.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Makes me think of the episode where I was raw dogging milk right in front of Mike.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: You just drinking a glass of milk, just no cookies, no chocolate, something byproduct, nothing.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: It was just milk in a glass, and he he had it nude, right?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't even like in a in a covered glass so that he could hide the indecency.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: You could see straight through it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: He wanted us to see, he was taunting us with it, and that's what I find to be truly the most disgusting is that you have no shame.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if this is a podcast.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: Of course I have no shame.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if this is this type of podcast, but as a quick aside, the answer is yes.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, my understanding of why Asian people don't have lactase enzyme is because we don't drink much milk, and so it just that hereditarily doesn't get passed down, and then therefore I I I you know drop Hiroshima on every toilet after Us white people were like, no, no, no, we're forcing this into our genetics, one way or another.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_04: We're gonna we're gonna spend the time now for things to be really shitty, literally, and then eventually it will get better.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: But who was the first person?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: The first person was like, I'm gonna go suck on that cow teeth because I'm not getting enough human teeth.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I think back then we just tried shit.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you know, it really didn't matter.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_04: Whatever like came out of an animal, we were just trying.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_04: We're like, oh no, that's bad.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_04: Like most of it was bad.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: They did have the enzyme.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like the first guy definitely didn't have the enzyme, right?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_04: So maybe a m oh, maybe a baby did it.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_04: Like they did have the enzymes, and then like the baby, we saw the baby doing it, and we're like, oh, this totally works.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_04: And then we started doing it just so much that eventually we forced ourselves to be able to do it.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: Did you imply that we were sucking on as many animals as possible until we found one that wasn't repulsive?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Just pointing out that in South Africa, it is actually a game to pick up the little poops of what is the animal?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a gazelle type animal.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: But they're there, they're little poops, you know, about this pick.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a game to put that in your mouth and spit it as far as you can.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: Who says no one ever learns anything on inmoderation?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we talked about if you ever go to South Africa and you go into Safari, expect to be spitting poop.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_04: I've not we talked about the poop coffee.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_04: The poop this is now just gonna be, you know, it's the poop cast.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Poop cast, poop DeLoreans, and um dicks.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: Poop DeLoreans and Dicks.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: Can we just have more increasingly worse?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody had sent me a message.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_03: They're like, I I didn't know what to think when I saw the new Inmoderation episode come up and it mentioned vasectomies in it, in the title.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, we're trailblazing out here.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: That's really what we're doing.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's uh yeah, but it's you know, this podcast for a long time has just been, you know, what every podcast is, which is three white guys happen.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_03: And today we've once again trailblazed broken the mold, brought in a nation guy.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_03: So it's no longer can we be you know uh accused of uh of this.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: So Jackson, when you're not being a concubine for Tuesday and um check my calendar.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: Sunday, uh, what else are you doing?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a tech nerd.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I like technology, I like starting technology companies, and I've pretty much been a nerd my whole life.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to mention one of the technology companies that you were involved in starting?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right now I'm working on one called Always Coach.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I worked on a bunch that failed, and one that worked, and the one that worked is called Cameo.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Cameo.com.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can get personalized video shout-outs from your favorite personalities, actors, celebrities, and it's very fun.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you need a last-minute birthday gift, go to cameo.com right now, today, for 99% off because we're using Mike's credit card.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to make Steven Segal announce your divorce.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Hey Liam, are you on Cameo?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know Tank Dolman is.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Is he?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_04: That's fun.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: Who would you get?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_04: Who would you get as like a cameo?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_04: Does I that's John Lovitz?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: I I would get Neil deGrasse Tyson to address the inmoderation allegations.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know what I want Danny DeVito to do, but I want him to do something for sure.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: The note you send to him is just like, I kind of want you to do something for me.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know what.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: I have no idea.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_04: But you're fun, so do something.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have any friends' birthdays or major life events coming up soon?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_04: Well, Rob's birthday month is right now, so we're gonna get Danny DeVito to come out of like a you know, a couch or whatever.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like always sunny, but maybe I mean people always say I look like one of the characters from Only Only Sunny, except with a beard.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: I've never actually seen it myself.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh man, you fucking love I I I don't know who you would somebody.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, are they talking about what the fuck's his name?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_04: I'm blanking on his name, but the one that's addicted to drugs.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, the one that they just systematically torture for decades.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: Cricket.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_04: Cricket.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_04: There we go.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_04: Cricket.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, yeah.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, okay, I can kind of see cricket a little bit.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_04: That makes sense.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: I mean now obviously a much more handsome version, I would say.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: Because he's a really addictive version.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_03: Basically, what they do to him is like in the very beginning, he's a totally normal guy, and then through the course of the game, he's like a pastor or something.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_04: He's like part of a religion.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know what it is.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_04: And they just ruin his entire existence.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: He is the receptacle of the gang's misgivings, and it's just he retains all of that torture just over time.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: So it's it carries from episode to episode anytime he's in it.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_04: You have to see like the show's funny, but like they have like outtakes where they just let the actor who plays cricket just go fucking hog wild with it, and he just says the most insane shit ever, and they try and not break during it, and it's the fucking best.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_04: They're trying so hard not to laugh, but it's impossible because he's saying just the most depraved stuff you can possibly think of.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's good that we're we're allowed to break here because if we weren't, I don't know how well this would go.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: But did you do did you play cricket before or after Torman Giant's Main?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Giant's main?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Giant's main from Game of Thrones.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going with yes as the answer.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's happened at the same time.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_04: Before after, yes.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Rob is timeless, he's an ageless being.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: Speaking of being ageless again, um, you have you know not only found you know the the the fountain of youth, Jackson, but you are trying to help other people feel younger as well through Always Coach.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I work with you on that a little bit as well.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to explain kind of what you do there and then maybe why you started it.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first let me give you some background on me being a nerd.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just I was just always the classic, just so skinny.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: He's showing a picture, by the way.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Go to YouTube.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: This was high school.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just always And if you are on YouTube and you see Liam giving you a slideshow, yeah, that's probably for some reason.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: So we got a picture of you in high school there.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_03: You're taking a run.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you got your uh your bib number on.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I just could not put on muscle.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so that was a shame.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then this is four years ago, five years ago.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is as an adult, still unable to put on muscle.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: But the difference between this one and this one is I got a little fatter and I started lifting weights like crazy.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like in this photo, I know it doesn't show, but I was lifting weights like four or five times a week.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then my friend said, abs are made in the kitchen.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, maybe, but you know what?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm not getting I haven't been getting results.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let's let's try your method.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: So he said, You're gonna track everything in a spreadsheet and do this, this, and this, and track your protein, track your calories, things that you guys already know about.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then after twenty thirty some years, twenty-eight years of my life, I went from this after four months of his direction, went from this to this.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's crazy.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: But no change in workout, just change in diet.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: This was the first time I wasn't a skinny boy in my entire life.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: First time I had abs.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I I now have concluded that abs are in fact made in the kitchen.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's I mean, that it's it is true.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: As a former fat guy myself, you know, it it was quite a bit heavier.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh it's that's I there have been times where I've been very active in my life and and moving a lot and exercising a lot, and I was still heavy.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: I work with people on a regular basis who they come to me not incapable, right?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: These are very strong people.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: They're at the gym, they're working out, they're eating clean, and they're still heavier.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: So it's uh yeah, it's a we've just got to change some things up in the kitchen sometimes.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_03: But is is that kind of what led you to start your own thing here?
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: I posted that photo on Instagram, and then all of my like seven friends on Instagram DM'd me, and they were like, Hey, can you give me your wow?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: What does that feel like?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, six, six, six.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: So one of them just still more than by three.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: They were like, give me your fitness plan.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and I was like, I I can, I will if you want, but really what you need is is a nutrition plan, nutrition tracking.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: So uh so that's what we started doing.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Started helping my friends, realized, wow, I can only keep maybe 10 friends accountable.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's not really about the educational component, it's just about sending people messages and keeping them accountable.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_04: 10's pretty impressive, I'm not gonna lie.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: That's actually a lot that I think I could probably do.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: 10 is a lot.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: I had a I had another job.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is, you know, I'm like busy with my other startup and then doing this.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um, that was too much.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: So then I realized, what if I just created an AI bot to bug them?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: That immediately I created this thing and it would just text them and be like, log your food, log your calories.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't you tell me what you ate today?
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And no one ever responded to it.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would send it from myself and they would respond immediately.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it was kind of bizarre.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, this isn't actually going to change with AI.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: My hypothesis in the future is that humans will always be accountable to social entities, social beings.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And a social being doesn't have to have red blood flowing through them, but they do have to be a social being.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: So an example could be a social being, a ghost like the painting ghosts in Harry Potter could definitely be social.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: My example I was thinking of was C3PO versus Chat GPT.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Chat GPT, if it sends me a notification saying, Stop being a fat ass.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do your workout plan that I sent you four days ago.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're just gonna close your computer and like close the tab.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Zero accountability.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: If C3PO is like, yo, I saw you're getting fat, I'm gonna tell Leia that you're getting fat and she should no longer be incestuously interested in her brother, then you'd be like, freak.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, fine, I guess I'll lose weight.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I think we are only accountable to social beings, and in the meantime, AI is not very social.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: So until it breaches that threshold, iRobot style, and Sonny is our best friend or C3PO.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: I I I had to do it.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: I had to ask AI what C three PO would tell me if I'm getting fat.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Sir, if I may be so bold, and do forgive my bluntness as my programming dictates absolute accuracy in physical assessments, but I have noticed a rather alarming variance in your structural dimensions.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: According to my internal sensors, your midsection has expanded by precisely 12.4% since our last synchronization.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: My database suggests this is often correlated with an excessive intake of organic fuel cells.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Excessive intake.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Did you say our last synchronization or my last synchronization?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: Our last synchronization.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: So you know.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: So what was being synchronized?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's when you insert the uh the in the floppy into the disk drive.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: It never when it's floppy, it never fits.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Concubot.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so my thesis from then then on was basically that humans are required for weight loss.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: People need to feel accountable to humans.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: We need to just give humans tools to scale up and not have to worry about billing and refunds and customer support and closing, setting, marketing, blah blah blah blah blah.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just let coaches coach and do everything else for them.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we do.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I've am a firm believer that humans we are just we just don't feel any accountability to an AI bot.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not so they're social, not so you can synchronize with them and maybe not until we can fuck them.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: That's basically the Futurama joke where they're just like, I invented this amazing thing.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_04: Can we fuck it?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_04: Like, no, but it does end they all just leave.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: They're all gone.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's um that's what everybody's waiting for is for us to release an in-moderation product that can help you achieve.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: What's the middle one's name?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: The robot one on your t-shirt?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Bender.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Does Bender ever have sexual intercourse with anyone on the show?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, he turns into a human and has sex with people.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_04: He does, yeah.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_04: They've done pretty much everything they could.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_04: Great job.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: Before you said shirt, when you said who's the middle one, I thought you were talking about Rob.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, who's the middle guy?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_03: Between the only amount of now that I think about it.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_03: The only dumb question is the one not asked.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: But it's okay because the middle one on my screen is Mike.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, there we go.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: So it's different for everybody.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: We're a grid of four.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what I have.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: Y'all are weird.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm looking at it like like in a in a circle, so to speak.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: Or so like there's there's four, like a Tetris shape.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then you're next to me, and then Liam's above you, and then Rob's above me.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm like, that's kind of the I love for like an audio like thing, we're talking about how we see each other that's like only represents like something for us, and like it does does not connect with literally anyone listening.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_04: But let's make the rest of the episode about us discussing how we look on our screens.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yeah.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_04: Let's let's do some uh well.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, how many people write in about Liam being backlit?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh shit.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: I was just talking to a friend the other day.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: Shout out CJ, real quick.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I I was like, do people really watch video podcasts?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I podcasts are something that we should be averting our eyes from, right?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's it's not godly.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: I it's something we should be listening to lazily as we prepare dinner.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: And she said, No, I I actually like I put it on just to have like a visual reference to to uh go back to.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I've just I've never done it that way, but I I'm I'm a boomer, you know, I'm an old man.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: So you know, maybe I'm just not privy to the uh the the the on fleek trends, as the kids say.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know, a single trend.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that that thing.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_04: Last thing I remember is like dry scooping fucking pre-workout, and that was like five years ago.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: Oh man, dry scoop that please.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_03: By the way, anybody who's listening right now, don't dry scoop anything at all.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: Just as a general rule.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, it's certainly not gonna go well with a scoop of protein powder, but like creatine, you know, not good.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: You need more water with that.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: Uh pre-workout, just stop taking pre-workout.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_03: How about that?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: Are you pre-workout?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I am anti-stimulant, unless it's like a medical thing where you need it, but it's if it's just the average person who's like, I like my adult milkshake in the morning, okay.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: You like a sweet treat.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_03: Get rid of the caffeine.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: Get the exact same thing.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care if it's 700 calories.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: Get the exact same thing without caffeine.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: See how how different you feel.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: And everyone always says, Oh, it's terrible, it's awful.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Do it from you're addicted to it.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_03: Do it from my items.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: But if I feed my addiction, it's gonna be as long as I'm feeding it, it's not an issue.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a why would I stop drinking alcohol when I do that?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: I shake.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_04: You know, you've solved the issue here, Mike, and I don't know why you have a problem with this.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_03: All I need to do to solve the issue is present my idea.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like there's a problem, and I don't know why.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: No, yeah, the problem is the shaking, the solution is the is the cocaine.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_04: So caffeine is the best drug in the world.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_04: I've uh every morning I get my coffee, afterwards, I feel great.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_04: No problem.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, I I've got this condition in which my body does not naturally produce heroin on its own.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: So I have to supplement it.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_04: And I don't understand.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_04: Is there more to that?
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_04: I don't understand what like are you gonna stay with the problem that arises from that, or are you just gonna leave it there?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: No, I just figured I'd be open about my movement.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_04: All right, there you go.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_04: Moving on, like that's the Jackson.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: People want to improve their their energy and their health.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_03: What does Always Coach do for them to help?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: Tells them to drink caffeine.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: More of it.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: Doesn't tell them to drink caffeine.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we we can write you a prescription for cocaine or heroin or in the beginning filled is the problem.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_04: So many pharmacies are like, oh no, we don't dispense cocaine here.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: No, we're the we're the first telehealth provider that ships it directly to your door.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, now that's what I'm talking about.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_04: Now we're really getting something.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: You just pay Bitcoin online, you tell us how much you want, and then uh outside your door, you will receive uh an armed thug dropping off a package.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: If I pay extra, can I have a guy deliver it to my door in a trench coat?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_04: It's like no, I imagine, like, you know, when they give money to the bank where they bring bank money where there's just like the fucking giant armored vehicles and two guards, like they just fucking hop out to each place like an Amazon fucking truck and just go up to your door and just drop it off.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_04: Can you just ship drugs via mail?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're gonna do it.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_04: You can do anything, it's a matter of repercussions, I think is the problem.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but are you trying to tell me that they haven't put every single parcel through an X-ray?
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's no way.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_03: You could probably get a work and ship while some insight on this.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: My frugal Asian mother sends every single package through media mail because apparently, if you use a media box and you call it books, it's like 80% cheaper.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Some weird vestige of when we used to ship books.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: So my Asian mother, immigrant mother, will just put clothes and pans and whatever else she wants to ship in a media box, a banker box, and says books.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: And she puts it in a permanent marker all over.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of a hundred dollars per box, it's like literally like twelve dollars.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: And she's never been caught.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Life hacks.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_04: Now we're giving people real advice that they can use.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: If you would like to lightly defraud the post on this, this is how to do it.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's not defraud, it's it's just it really makes me it really makes me wonder why people don't ship more drugs via U USPS or UPS or FedEx.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: So here's what happens if they catch it.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_03: Because I was I worked in shipping for a while, and what they will do is they won't come after you for it.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: What they'll do is they'll send you a letter saying they found it and that they need you to come and pick it up.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_03: And if you go to pick it up, they arrest you.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: Otherwise, it's like you know, somebody sending basically like a personal use amount of weed or whatever, they're not gonna waste resources to go after them.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_04: Interesting.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_04: So it depends on how much and what type of drug.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_04: If you're just sending like 10 pounds of uh Mexican black tar heroin, they probably would come after you.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: But like, I don't think they have any legal jurisdiction to go after you because until you go pick it up, because there's no way to prove that you're the one that like actually ordered it.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like I could send Mike a couple kilograms of shrooms and like lame it shroom all over the box, and I you know, they might get caught and then they go after Mike.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_03: You should write shrooms in permanent markers, shrooms, you make magic.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: The only lesson is you write books.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_03: If it's booked, yeah, the current government can't fucking read.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: So what interest do they have?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: I had to bring this up.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Your your your mere pool at the Lincoln Memorial that got painted blue into a swimming pool is now green.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_03: Gain the swamp or whatever he said in 2016.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's it's always one of those uh phrases, we're gonna drain the swamp.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: And he literally made a swamp in your camp capital.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: We've gained a swamp.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's uh it's fun.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's fun, you know.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: What what president before has brought a swamp to uh DC?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's never been done.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I thought you you told me this was gonna be a podcast about making America great again.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Did I have a little bit of a little bit more?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we are we're trying to make it great again, but in a different way.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's why we're talking about drugs, maybe with less swamps, with less swamps and and more tolerance and everything.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: And we have red hats that say make America great again, but on the back of the hat it says, but not that way, in a different way.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_04: In the smallest writing imaginable.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's like I I would like this place to be great, absolutely.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but but like different.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_04: But like that's what it says on the hat, but oh, like different or something.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: I would greatly prefer if this was uh different than it currently is.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's not as catchy.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_03: The hats still stand out.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, I mean it's uh I'm I'm just master of segues over here in trying to make our bodies great.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we we've done a lot of things and uh you know, we we failed a lot and it's it's been difficult.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: How is always coach different from like every other training program that kind of just like lets you do whatever?
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we only exist because of fail because we only exist because of the creators, the creator coaches that we work with, and they uh and we help them deliver you know as best coaching services as possible so that they have to do none of the headache.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: So the creators we work with just have to promote that they have a coaching program and we handle everything else on the back end.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um but one of the things that we're helping outfit them with is registered dietitians who actually review the meal plans and nutrition guidance going out, you know, state-of-the-art app that allows people to track their food and workouts and you know have a full experience like you'd have on ladder or something like that.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of people just kind of YOLO it on Zoom and iMessage as we stated before.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Very hard to do that with more than 10 people or six, or however many friends Rob has.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Three?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_03: Three as you know, as a coach myself, uh it'll be four once Mike actually accepts my friend request.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: Where?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: And why should I?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_03: More importantly, I'm not trying to rush things, Rob.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a classy lady, no concubine.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a classy lady who owns concubines.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_04: It's not that hard to understand.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm not a concubine.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can have an avant-garde.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's an oxymoron.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Neopets social network.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: Neopets.com.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Neopets.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: That's a great one.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_03: Touche Mike.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: Touche.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's perfect.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: And you get to have a little guy that you hang out with, and you can play some games.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_03: And now I you have Neopets was the shit.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_04: I was like basically drugs as a kid.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_04: Every day you log in and they're like you, it would like re-up from the day before, like you get to do new things, and that would be the best part of my day.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like, oh, I get to do these things again.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_04: That was the best.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's a reason to come back.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's uh gamified, as they say.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and uh always coach, that's that's the experience there as well.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, like with because I I I use always coach as well for well a handful of my clients.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: In that case, my favorite social media site, it would be the adult version of NeoPets, which is uh AI dating sites where you date the AIs.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: Can you date C3PO?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_03: Who's got a bit of a fat shaming thing about him?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_03: Do you believe in the future that always coach will have C3PO employed to fat shame you into change?
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, if if Rob doesn't use all the tokens with his AI code, maybe he leaves them for the rest of us.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever I'm on my favorite AI dating site, they're always like, You've run out of tokens on ChatGPT.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, sometimes I'll use ChatGPT for other things.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, that'll be amazing when C3PO goes um public domain.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because you'll be able to use them for everything.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well they will never let that happen.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: What is public domain?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: 50 years for movies?
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_03: 96 in the US.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, unless they're using it for something actively, like you know, Disney almost just lost.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_03: I no, I think they did lose Steamboat Willy, right?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they lost the original like Mickey.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I think they're trying really hard because the reason that it's 96 years is because Disney has lobbied so hard.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, like we could use Steamboat Willie as the logo for the show, and I think we should somebody made an entire like game based off Steamboat Willie.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: Is Mickey is Mickey Mouse public domain now?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: No, yeah.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: No, just in Steamboat Willie film, yeah.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_03: So basically, like when he becomes public domain, it'll be those first versions of him, not the current one.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: So like you know Superman becomes public domain soon, too?
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: Or just did?
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: No, yep, yep.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: But then again, again, it would just it would be the 1928 version, you know, like you can correct you can adapt that comic from back then.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: But if you were to use like any more modernized version of them, then it yeah, that's not good.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's no how Wicked gets around it.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's like you know, Wicked is not basing anything off of the movie.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_03: They may make a reference to it, but like the yellow brick road is not public domain, but the characters are because the yellow brick road was from the movie, wasn't in the thing, I I believe.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Same with the Ruby Slip.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, sorry, it's in 2034 Superman will become public domain.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_03: In moderation 2034.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_04: All I'm hearing is once the AI sex boxes are created, I'm gonna have to wait 96 years for it.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_04: That's like way too long.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know if I'm gonna be able to wait that long.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait that long.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's if you want the public free version.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, that's kind of yeah, that's that's kind of the hope, you know.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: You don't you don't have an you don't have an AI sex bot budget?
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Currently, this that makes sense.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: We'll enter public domain in 2035.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_03: I I ran into some car troubles, so I I don't have it in the budget this month to jerk off to it.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_03: A I C creepy.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_03: My Bitcoin is a little low right now.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_03: My bad.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_03: Gotta pay for it in BTC.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_03: I only have Ethereum.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_03: Will that work?
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever I go to my trades Ethereum anymore.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_03: What are you talking about?
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_04: If you have unobtanium, will you also take that?
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: There was there was a crypto that in the 2017 boom when people started making their own, there was something called banana coin that was based off of like the fair market value trade of like bananas and uh like across the world.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know what it was, but it the way they explained it made more sense than the current US dollar.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_03: And so I invested in it.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: Why I'm not a banana coin billionaire right now is because it didn't work.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_04: It didn't work considering none of us have heard of it.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_04: You really didn't finish that last part, but yeah, no, no.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_04: What's banana coin?
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Should have been as a reminder on the Int Moderation podcast, none of this advice should be taken as financial advice.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Please consult.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_04: And financial yeah, and medical or especially financial advice.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: Have you guys seen the critic?
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, where is he?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_03: No, where is he?
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: God, oh see behind you Fox Fox cartoon started about 90 or late 90s.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, started John Lovitz as the critic, and it was basically uh he would make fun of movies anyway.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: For my birthday, guys, I want everybody to pitch in because we can get John Lovitz on cameo for 200 bucks to riff on in moderation as the critic.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_03: $200 seems like sadly low.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, just for like dicking around on camera.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_03: We do that for free.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: I guess.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what that's my birthday present if everybody wants to pitch in.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want to do?
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Financial decision.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: Riff on the the podcast.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be our new intro.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: Our new intro.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: Can we not just like reach out to him?
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_03: Do we not have enough recognition that maybe we know someone that knows someone?
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_04: How much would you charge on Cameo to keep your self-worth?
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_04: 15 bucks.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: Self-worth or net worth?
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: Net worth one dollar.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: Self-worth 20 cents.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_03: John Lovitz has 182,000 followers on Instagram.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: We we all outweigh him by quite a bit.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_03: I I think we could message him and it would show up in his inbox.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: Mike, why are you trying to bypass our feet?
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can you not just?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: You bring the guy on and now you're bypassing him.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: Can't you just give me my one cent royalty?
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_03: I was about to say, do you get royalties from this?
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, fine.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: I make like 0.1 cent every if you buy the cameo from it.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_03: So if we give you 50 bucks, could you talk to John Lovitz and just circumvent the whole process, get you some money?
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_03: I I've done that with Uber drivers where I'm like, how much are you going to get for this drive?
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, they're going to give you$30.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'm paying$80 for it.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: I'll give you$60 and cancel the ride.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's reasons like you, it's people like you that the tech elite are struggling so much.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_04: So if you could just stop and we could just collect our fees, then have you thought about the CEOs, Mike?
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_04: Have you even considered their feelings when you did this?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have to do a delay no one's Christmas.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_03: Elon's really been struggling lately.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_03: He's trying to afford a yacht on Mars.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_03: He's never gonna get there if we keep circumventing the process.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_04: We discover water and he just takes all of it to make the yacht.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_04: He's like, I want to be the first and does that dumb jump that he does.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_03: Is Elon on cameo?
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_03: Can we can we get him?
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, if you ask anybody who's you know suckling on his teeth, they'll say he has zero in liquid assets, so he probably needs the money, right?
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: There's Elon Musk parody.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: There's Elon Dusk.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, you could do a parody of a guy and go on cameo?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_03: You don't have to be the guy.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_03: I'll just be anybody.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: Fine.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm John Lovitz.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: Mike does a good Trump.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_04: Rob's fucking cricket from Hilly Sunny.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_04: I'll be the critic.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do your Trump uh impression.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: Can you do your Trump impression of Lovitz?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: Quite frankly, welcome to Inmoderation.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_02: The show where we give you a moderate dose of sarcasm.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_02: We say you can't give them sarcasm anymore.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_02: Info, and you already know, because I know this, because everybody knows this.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_02: We're not approved.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_02: They say we're not approved, but I say we're approved.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: Can can you guys be good at that?
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: Rob, Liam?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: Either of you guys got any good impressions?
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm the fucking worst.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_04: I don't ask me for impressions or singing, or we will lose every follower/slash subscriber.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: I used to be good at some, but I haven't practiced them, so I can I can do a hit.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: They probably suck now.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: All right, how about you just strum a little thing on the guitar?
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, speaking of guitar, sir.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: My accent's gonna fall.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because the guitar was holding it up.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_03: That looks extremely dangerous.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_03: You can play the Steamboat Willie theme song for free, just reminding you.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: Let me let me look it up.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let me look it up.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: Steamboat Willie Tabs.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_03: Tabs.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_03: Ultimate guitar.com.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they try to charge you money for tabs.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if you can just AI tabs now.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_03: Have you seen people do they'll get like an AI transcription of a barbershop quartet and it's just awful?
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_03: And they'll read the sheet music.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: Jackson did a TED talk about music a long time ago.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_03: It was very good.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_03: No, that was another He won't admit it.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's all it's Yeah.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's all on the low E note.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_04: He's whistling really high up.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_04: We can play it.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_04: We're allowed to play it.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_04: Just barely hear it in the background.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_04: Struggling with it.
• 38:58
  unknown: Yeah.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_03: We're allowed to play the recording, I believe.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_03: I think you can do whatever you want to it now.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_03: We can make that the theme song.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_03: We could.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_03: We could.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's definitely not in a minor key either.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_03: Steamboat Willie is a you know an uptune like jaunt.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_03: This is really good for radio, by the way.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, this is the best.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_04: People are fucking riveting.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_03: People on their way to work are messing with their don't mess with your dial.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_03: We're just providing you absolutely fucking nothing.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_03: I know all you baby birds out there are standing there with your mouths wide open.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_04: It's only for 45 minutes of this.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: Don't worry.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: It's getting there soon.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's about to get really good.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_03: I promise.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you making fun of guitar is perfect for a video?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is incredible.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, the guitar is good.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like we're basically streaming the inside of a guitar center as somebody starts picking up a guitar.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_04: If you wanted to listen to someone learn how to play something on the guitar, then tune in.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_03: He's a very skilled musician.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_03: He really is.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_03: Every once in a while he'll put he will delight us by posting something on his Instagram story.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_03: And it's always fantastic.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_03: And now we're gonna get to hear him learning a song.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: So for the next hour and a half, you're on in moderation.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: Sounds like we're going to the uh dueling banjos right now.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go get a prop for doing a time.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_03: By the time we're gonna we're gonna perform the Steamboat Willie theme song.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_03: And do we do Patreon anymore?
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: Is that a thing?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: Still up.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: We'll have to do it.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna barbershop quartet, Steamboat Willy.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like we were talking about something before this.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_04: We usually were, but try to remember that.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_04: There was C3PO and buying sex things with Bitcoin.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_04: There's lots of stuff.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_03: Gen Z is going crazy right now.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_03: Gen Alpha.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_03: Steamboat, they they love Steamboat really.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, I have two props.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: Neither are good for a podcast because they're both very visual.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: One is disgusting, and the one the other one is disgusting.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: Which one would you like to see?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go in the order that they were presented.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we'll start with the disgusting one first.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_03: I know what's about to happen.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh! I hate this.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: I did a charity stream last year where they had to pay us to do this, and he does it willingly.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_03: He's eating a can of sardines, raw, straight, straight ahead, head to mouth.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_04: I cannot do sardines.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_04: And that you might as well give me surstroming or whatever the fuck it is.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_04: You might as well give me that.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_04: Both are awful.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_03: Whenever you call somebody out for this, what's always the the reciprocation?
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's well, it's it's very healthy for you, and it's low calorie and high protein and omega 3.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I know that it's nutritionally checks out.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, if that's what it took to get fit, I would never be fit.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_04: I wouldn't give a shit.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_04: I'll be any other shape.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_03: By the way, the we've been doing this, what, 43 seconds?
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_03: The can is almost done.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_03: He's he's now licking it's truly indescribable in words, what I just did.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're just gonna have to watch the replay yourself, um, unless you are under the age of 18.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: Don't you shouldn't be listening to this anyway, in general.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_04: That's fair.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_04: I haven't agreed with anything so much.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_04: I think that's the most I agree with that wholeheartedly.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_03: He's just about done there with the can.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, now repeat that with Sir Strumming.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_04: Don't do not drink the fluid.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_04: No, no, no.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, everybody just turn the podcast off.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_04: Even if you're listening, I don't care if you're not watching.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_04: If you're listening, just stop listening right now.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: Those forearms are popping, though.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta say, like something's working, you know.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_04: I don't care how well it works.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_04: It's the fact that I have to do it afterwards the fact that I don't want to.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, he's turning it upside down.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so breaking his fingers.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing needs to be said there.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now for my next prop.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna eat cards.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_03: He's gonna do okay.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm glad that we got it disgusting first, and then this, because this is really cool.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: All right, so by the way, everybody has to go to YouTube now because we're about to do a card.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_04: No, everybody turned it off.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_04: There's no one left, Mike.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone's gone.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_04: This is just us there.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone else understandably was like, ah, fuck this, I'm out.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's after hours.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: Now I've seen this in person plenty of times, and I still don't know how he does it.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: So he's he's flipping the well, he just hit a card behind his ear right now.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: So can you please point to the card that you would like?
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: He's got the cards fanned out.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just just tell me when to stop.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: Which one of us is telling him when to stop?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: I've already done the trick.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: I I I don't want to rob you guys of the experience.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh stop.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have to close my eyes.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna show you the card.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do not read the card out loud.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot read this to the other.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's a beautiful Queen of Hearts.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: Did you guys just say it?
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_03: I really but now you can deduce.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_03: I really you have 51 cards you gotta deduce from now.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: So for those not watching, it is not the Queen of Hearts.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put it in the deck, okay?
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it just you're just gonna have to tell them after.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: Alright?
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is your card, yeah.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_03: The card is there, it is present.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna push it into the middle of the deck.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: Jackson pushed it there.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now I shuffle.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now tell me when to stop.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: Three, two, one, three, two.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's funnier this way.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: We'll just walk away and leave them doing this.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is the worst trick of all time.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_00: The magician's code he has to do this until we're I you told me a random place to stop.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah regrettually you picked a random card.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: Would you be surprised if this in fact was your card?
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: The ten of spades.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_03: It is not the card.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_03: No, I'd be amazed if it was the queen of hearts.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_03: That would have been crazy.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_03: So that is a ten of the cards.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, it was a nine of hearts.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, this is your card, no?
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: There it is.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_03: And he shakes the card.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_03: He shakes the ten of spades and makes it into a uh nine of hearts, which was the card.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_03: I could not say it out loud.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I told you it was the Queen of Hearts.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: Now he's looking for the Queen of Hearts.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_03: Where is it?
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_03: He's looking around.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_03: He said, Is it even in there?
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_03: Does it exist?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_03: He finds out he's missing the card.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_03: And we've been gaslit into believing the Queen of Hearts is a standard issue playing card.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: For this trick, I have three cards.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_00: I have a Joker, the other Joker, and the Ace of Spades.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_00: So for all those who are listening, the Ace of Spades is on top.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm going to very slowly for my somewhat dim visual audience Ace of Spades to the bottom.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not offending the actual audience.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm offending my my my co-host, visual co-host.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: So now it is Joker, Joker.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_00: Very dim.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: Joker, Joker, guys.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: Joker, Joker, Ace.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Ace of Spades.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm sorry.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't realize you needed us to tell you what card it was.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're right.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: I thought you were the magician.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because the Joker's on the bottom.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: What card's on top?
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure the ace has disappeared in this equation.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: The ace has disappeared as the Joker is also in the middle.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the ace?
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's behind Liam's ear.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_03: We've brought in famed proctologist Dr.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_03: Von Holland.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_00: So what card is on top?
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_00: Also the ace.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: So then you're like, okay, well, what is in the middle?
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: It should be not the ace, but unfortunately.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: The ace again.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: So for those who remember, I had a joker, a joker, and an ace.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: This card was.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: Joker.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: This card was.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_03: Don't you do this.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's that's the Joker.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_03: It's the ace.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_03: He can change it.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_03: Whatever I say, he's gonna change it to the other one.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_03: The last card is.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_03: I have no idea.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_04: I mean the Queen of Hearts! Have you ever thought about performing in a memory care facility?
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_03: I think they would really enjoy this.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_03: That was great.
• 47:16
  unknown: Oh, the Queen of Hearts.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: For for all our audio listeners, that was great.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: You should just clap right now.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, please go watch that on YouTube.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_03: I've been with Jackson many times in person.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_03: I I've gotten to see him do this, and it never doesn't amaze me.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, so you you've you've been with him in person, but you're not on cameo.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, who wants to buy anything from me?
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: Cult members.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_03: They already get enough of me through the week.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_03: This is uh just incredible, Jackson.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_03: What you do here.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's uh you know what you do on Always Coach and and everything with you know providing creators like me some good resources to like help more people more efficiently.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_03: And it's uh Mike if you're gonna be.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_00: Can you at least just comment on this?
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_03: I was looking away because I was I was trying to pull a bunch of lies out of my ass.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, look at this.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_03: Come on.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_03: Physics!
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful, beautiful physics.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: Mark is gonna pull the queen of hearts out.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: After the uh after the podcast, one of us is gonna sit down on our chair, and the queen of hearts is gonna be right there.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's why we brought the proctologist in.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe after the podcast, Michael noticed the name I gave myself this time.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_04: He fucking took him the whole episode last time, and damn, my camera wasn't even working, and it just put it up full on screen.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_04: He's just like, nope.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_03: And it was there.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: I see that the the the spelling of your name has changed since I received your last parcel.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_04: All variations.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_03: If you're trying to do some sort of tax fraud right now, I I think they're gonna find you.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: He changed one letter.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_03: He thought he was gonna get away with it.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_03: No, you know what?
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_03: That might be a good cover because why would they assume that you would just change one letter?
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_03: They wouldn't think I changed the whole name and they go, oh, sorry, our bad.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_03: So you must be a different Delor Ryan.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, for those not in this meeting.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: Liam's name on screen is Delor Ryan.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_03: Delorean.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: I don't get it.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: Can you explain?
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_03: That's probably what everybody listening to the show.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_03: Because we we haven't explained the bit in months.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: I we just continue to mention the DeLorean on every episode.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_04: It's the most important part.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I think it's it's within the spirit of the bit to not talk about what it's about, right?
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe we can make it part of that.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe in 96 years we can release what it's about.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_03: In 96 years when in moderation goes public domain and people are making fan fiction about it, and they've got actors playing each of us.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty sure people are already making fan fiction because somebody's actually written in asking for Liam's uh thirst trap pictures.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: That was me.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_04: I post them plenty.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_04: They should be able to get those.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_00: Liam, why do you have thirst traps all over your Instagram?
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_04: Because why not?
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_04: That's a better question.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_04: Whose thirst are you trying to trap?
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_04: Whoever I can, basically.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_04: Mostly AI sex bots, but I'll take people too, I guess.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, guys, good news.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_03: I just got an email.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_03: This is I think this is an exclusive thing.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if everybody would get this.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, feel free to um, you know, cut this part out because I don't want to make anybody jealous.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um it says that I can come back to Spotify for two months for just$6.99.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, you know, look, I'm not gonna let this get to my head.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_03: I I am not this is not going to change me fundamentally as a human being.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_04: I I really can we stop doing everything we do with the podcast and just make it about learning the guitar and reading all the ads we get in emails.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_04: I think that will really take uh take off.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_04: We were we were doing pretty well in the fitness world, but I think once we start doing that, that is when the that's when things are really gonna go well for us.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's when we're gonna Joe Rogan level.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_03: We'll be officiating UFC games on the line.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_03: Look, guys, look, Liam is just a common man like you or I.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's it we're gonna work to make sure his ego stays in check with this incredible deal that he's been given.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I I I think you know, you getting 15% off of your car insurance is not proof that the system works.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_03: It is an indictment of a failed system in a system where children are starving.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_03: For any man to have 15% off his car insurance is is important.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh do you think a Geico ad has ever worked?
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've Do you think anyone has ever watched a Geico ad?
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: They've been like, no way! I just bought it before.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_04: I think he would be completely depressed by the amount of times it has worked, is what is my response to that.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_04: I think you'd be incredibly sad at how those sort of things do work since 2013, I think.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_03: So it worked in this room at least once.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if I was jazzed about it.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_03: I was just like, well, I'm legally required to purchase one of these mascots.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_03: So I I guess I'll go with the cute lizard, which I don't think they even use anymore.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't seen him.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_03: Have you?
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: What no?
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: He's a gecko.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_00: He's a gecko.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_03: He's a gecko, right?
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, as per the name.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_03: Geico, if you're listening, sponsor me.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to whatever.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_03: And it can I I'll be sponsored by the the uh jelly beans, brahmi beans, the the bean in Chicago, whatever.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_03: Just give me a bean sponsor.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody sponsor Mike.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody sponsor Mike.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_03: Mike needs a sponsor.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: Mike needs a sponsor.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: This podcast got so derailed.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_03: Has it ever been railed?
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_04: We've ever been railed.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_04: Have we ever been railed on inmoderation?
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_04: Inmoderation, never been railed, is gonna be our our tagline.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_01: Our new tagline.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_03: That's the movie, the inmoderation movie.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_03: How much do you think we can sell the rights for?
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_03: In 96 years, nothing.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_03: This will exist in 96 years.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's I'm not saying it will still be going, but in theory, someone could find it.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like oh no, Oakley's gonna be taking it over.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_04: She'll yeah, she'll still be 98 years old.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, Oakley's gonna be like 80 something.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_03: Or maybe it'll be Oakley's kids.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we just pass this down generation by generation.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_03: Or we give it to Jackson, who has achieved the fountain of youth and will still be six years from now.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: But we can drink milk.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: Please don't have it really.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_00: I can have sardines.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can keep them.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_03: You can keep them.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_03: We will pass you in, you know, both on the sardines and in life.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_03: You can live forever eating sardines.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not doing it.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: If we raise$1,000, I will make sure that Mike has to eat Sir Strumming.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: Raise$1,000 for what?
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, just raise$1,000.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_03: Just raise it's just going into in benefit of the Inmoderation Pizza.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like$500 to ship it to you from Sweden.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_03: So we have$500 for the Inmoderation Pizza Fund.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_03: Or the DeLorean fund.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then we'll use$200 of that to hire John Lovitz to roast us.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_03: And the remaining$300 to put a down payment on the$250,000 that we need for the DeLorean.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_03: And see.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_03: There we go.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_03: Be careful yourself.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_01: You forgot to tell Jackson out of 10.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_03: Jackson, where can people find you?
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um well you you can find me along with seven other people on Instagram at Jacksonjen J H I N or with Mike on Tuesdays and Sundays.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_03: Or with me on Tuesdays and Sundays.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_00: You will not time.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_03: Always Coach is not an app where you can just go and sign up and do it.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_03: You've got to work with a creator who uses Always Coach.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's not like you download the app and there it is.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's it goes through one of us.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to lose weight today for 20% off, car insurance or weight loss, go follow Mike Meets a Plan on Instagram or go to Mike'splan.com.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_00: Save today.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_00: He's plucking me.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't even going to mention me.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, but well, you're the you're the one response, you know.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're the one with the code.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_03: I am currently the one with always coach.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um but yeah, it's there are many creators out there um who also use this service, and it's you you you handpick them, you you work with people that you believe in their message, and I I like that, you know, because it's it's uh we synchronize we synchronize together, you know, every so often and to make sure everyone's in sync, and then and then we deliver services.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_03: We joke here, but we all care very much about fitness and people getting good information and staying in good shape and being happy and everything.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_03: So it's to have curated help is important.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, Jackson, thank you for uh shitting around with us today.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's you you you're uh you're you're a you're a true goat.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for eating the sardines in front of the two squeamish people.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_00: On a scale of one to ten, how gross was that?
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_04: Oh 12.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_04: I don't do numbers, but I'll pass.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_03: You end every video with out of ten.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_04: I'll pass out of ten.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_04: I'll pass out of ten.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_04: I don't like numbers.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_04: I like words.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_00: All right, with two words or less, describe how that made you feel inside.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_00: Icky icky out of ten.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: K-bye.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're truly delicious.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_04: I was just gonna say like Donald Trump.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_04: That's how I feel the same way.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_04: Turned off.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're truly delicious.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't tried tin sardines, canned sardines, they are boiled, then hermetically sealed, no preservatives, very fresh, last on a shelf for years.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_04: I would rather eat a bottle of preservatives, just straight preservatives, all of them mixed together in one bottle.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_04: What do you think straight preservatives taste like?
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_04: The fountain of youth?
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_04: Isn't that how you stay alive longer?
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_04: Isn't that what they do?
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_00: People say preservative, but like what is what is the main preservative?
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_00: Sodium benz benzoate?
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_04: There's lots of different ones.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, all sorts of salt, sugar, they all help to preserve things.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_03: Some that are a little saltier, some that might be a little more sour and bitter.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_03: Dehydration is a preservative.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_01: That just tastes like dry.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_00: It tastes like dry.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_03: We can ask Ben Shapiro what that one tastes like.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_00: I imagine pure preservative powder is just Doritos.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you crumble up enough Doritos, if you just lick a Dorito, I feel like you could use that powder and probably preserve sardines for like 12 years.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_03: Mythbusters, where are you at?
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_03: Can we get the Mythbusters to do a camo?
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_04: I don't think those two will come together again.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_00: They won't say redesigned anymore?
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, they they kind of.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I don't think they hated each other, but like my uh James.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_01: They respected each other professionally.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_04: They were like, you know, not really friends.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_04: Really?
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_04: No, they're not friends.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_04: They've said many times, they're not friends.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_04: They've never had a dinner together outside of the show.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_04: They literally just like What?
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you ruining my I know, sad, right?
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_04: My late 40s.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Inmoderation, where we ruin your late forties.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's the in moderation guarantee.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like that at all.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, yeah, I didn't like it either.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_00: But everyone I see on TV is quietly behind the the curtains, synchronizing with each other and holding hands.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, that's whatever you gotta believe.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're gonna hang up and then all drink sardines together, right?
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you live, Rob?
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_00: Canada.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_00: Say the exact address, please.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_00: On online as he's looking down the way something.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I it's on the website.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_03: It is don't tell people where to find it for real.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_03: It legally has to be on the website.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_03: I know, but you don't have to legally tell them that it's there.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_00: Can I can I say uh one can I close out with one story about Canada?
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_00: I hate Canada.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_00: So three weeks ago, two weeks ago, I uh got on a plane, I flown to Detroit, I rented a car, and I attempted to cross the border from Detroit into Canada.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was heading uh to London, Ontario, which is about halfway between Detroit and Toronto.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: I get to the border with a rental car, and all I do is answer this Toronto, this can Canada man's questions.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_00: His first question is, where are you heading?
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: He said, London, Ontario.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Where are you coming from?
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, excuse me.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Where are you from?
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, San Francisco.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, What?
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Yes.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: Then he said, Why are you going to London, Ontario?
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Well, I'm going to meet this creator who I'm friends with, but I've never met in real life.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_00: His name is Josh Gillam, Gillum Fitness, and we're gonna have dinner together in London, Ontario.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, You mean to tell me you flew all the way here from San Francisco, on the car, you're gonna drive three hours across the border, have dinner with an influencer who lives in London, Ontario, sleep there, turn around, drive back, and come across the border.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_00: Do you realize how that sounds?
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't know.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's the story.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm I don't I literally was just speechless.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how to answer.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then he said, I'm gonna need you to roll down your windows and let me check your car.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have any weapons, drugs, illegal substances?
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: He said, You didn't give me a verbal no, you're just shaking, shaking your head.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let me ask you again, do you have any kinds of illegal substances?
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he really didn't like me.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then he continued to accost me and wanted to know about what business I was doing there and what always coaches, and blah blah blah.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I tried to explain it to him in very simple terms, and he didn't understand.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: He stops me and goes, Son, you don't have to sell me or pitch me on this.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to explain clearly what you do.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm so sorry.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_00: I literally do not know what I'm doing wrong.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: He goes, I need to talk to my supervisor.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is 20, like 20 some minutes into being stuck at the tall booth border thingy mabob.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: I thought Canadians were nice.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty sure the people working the border have started to become a little well, okay.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_01: Let's be honest, we're all getting jackassy towards Americans.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_00: Fair.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not not crazy that you're jackassy towards Americans.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's I guess understandable.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_00: But that's crazy that I thought it was hard for Canadians to get into the US, not the other way around.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's funny because like when I when I flew through the US a couple times, whatever, going through security, it's always like they always are like hard asses.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I've seen somebody literally scream, somebody accidentally stepped over the line a little bit to uh go talk to the customs agent.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: And the custom agent literally stops what he's doing with the person.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_05: He's give every eye the line.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, every time going into Canada, it's just like, hi, you're good.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_01: I I I think we should um we should build a wall.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_04: I think we're building a wall in the wrong place.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_03: This uh, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_03: Mexicans, great people, fantastic people.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_03: I I really think we need to do something about these Canadians.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_03: Just put up a wall, make sure they can't get in or out.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_03: I think I'm not talking just between us, all the way around.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_03: Circle the damn.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why Trump and Xi Jinping aren't best friends.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_00: Chinese, us Chinese people and Trump both love dictatorships, giant walls, and cheap child labor.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_03: But we're about to use we're we're about to lose the Chinese diplomat demographic.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_03: Not diplomat, but what's the word I'm looking for?
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_03: Autocrat, oligarch, not diplomat.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_00: For the listeners, I'm actually only one quarter Chinese.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_00: Just just but just to make sure you guys don't think I'm a terrorist.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_03: I'm definitely I am definitely not more than a quarter Chinese.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want to that I can say with certainty?
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_04: I sent my DNA into 23andMe, and they were just like, really?
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_04: Like, come on, white, don't waste our time.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_04: The letter don't waste our time.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_04: Just white, like, just move on with your life.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_04: They just they sent a blank page.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_03: So like, what is like okay.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_03: For me, they just sent a picture of a of a wreath.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of inbreeding down the line.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_03: It stops it.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_03: My great-grandfather.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_03: I believe that's another story for another episode of Inmoderation.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_03: Tune in next week while we explore Mike's family tree.