Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / Make Room for the Deer Meat!

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Make Room for the Deer Meat! · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I got a clean out sound fridge to make room
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: for the deer meat. It's one more thing, one thing,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: all will become clear. Stay with us.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: That reminds me my actual refrigerator is got so many
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: cookies in it. My son made as part of a
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: dinner last night, he made what do you call white chips?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: There's still white chocolate chips. White chocolate chips? Do you
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: call that? Do you still just call it a chocolate chip?
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Oatmeal cookie? Anyway?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: So white late chocolate chip. Well, he made a.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Ton of cookies and they got a bunch of batter
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: to make the rest of them.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: And I can't have cookies around the house. I'm not
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: strong enough for that. No, No, I love oatmeal cookie.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, a fresh out of the oven, from scratch oatmeal.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Cookies with white chocolate chips. How many could you eat
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: in a day? Easily?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: I mean I could easily eat five in a day.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I mean with all effort. What are you a child?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I know coffee? Have three for breakfast? It's old meal. Seriously,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not only better than a lot of like bars.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: You can eat almost certainly.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a fair amount of sugar there today. The oatmeal
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: cookie is a fine cookie, no doubt. All right, so
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: we're cleaning out sound fridge metal. There we go. What
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: do we start with a couple of jokes? We didn't?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Were there a couple of them we didn't use?
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Michael, Yeah, there's here's one right here, all right.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: Minnesota Governor Tim Wallace signed a bill into law last
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: week that allows assisted living facilities and nursing homes to
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: serve alcohol to residence. That way, they can just tell
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: you your kids visited.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: That's nice. I don't remember, but that's nice. That just
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: made me sad. That's a joke. She's ways. You got
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: any jokes that are funny and not sad?
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Michael, Well, here's one that's just well, Scott Feltz.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: There's a joke about lonely old people.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: On Monday and armed suspects set off an incendiary device
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: outside a federal building in Manhattan.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Once caught, the suspect yelled, get your hands off me.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I'm the mayor. We didn't.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: We didn't talk about that story. That was one of
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: the dumbest plans anybody's ever come up with. The guy's
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: clearly got problems. He also appeared to be about four
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: feet tall.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a hobbit I didn't know we were allowing hobbits
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: in the military. But what a.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Dumb plan he had, like a hatchet and a bb
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: gun and just what are you? What are you gonna
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: do there?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: What he was hoping to do? What was he was
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: working helmet to accomplish? I don't know. Sounds like he's
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: a bit of a soft head. So the helmet was
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: a good one. Is that it on the jokes? Michael?
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Or we got anymore?
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I don't remember number six. I'm paying attention.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, here we'll do six because this is this.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I read that nine new emojis are coming out next year,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: including a pickle emoji. Well, the egg plant emoji had
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: a good run. You know, that's class You had that good,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: lonely old bit.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Do you have anything about euthanizing the family cat or
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: anything like that?
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Oh geez? What all right? Moving on to the odd
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: balls and randos classification. This is rock legend Tommy Lee.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: He the drummer of what Motley Crue, married to Pam
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Anderson for a time. I've seen his uh, I've seen
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: him in action. I believe I have seen his drum
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: stick myself, his his eggplant. If you will. I don't
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: remember the circumstance. Why have I seen that sex tape
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: with Pam Anderson? I said, I had backstage tickets for
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: a crew concert. I was really drunk. He and I
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: got hit it off.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's why I don't know.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: He asked, here you I'm curious that was That was
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: probably the moment. Yes, anyway, here's the great Tommy Lee.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I was with my.
• 4:08
  Speaker 5: Bass player and we were doing Heroin. We ran out
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: and it's like, what we're going to do. We unscrewed
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: the cap on the fifth of Jack and filled up
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: the cap with jack and then pulled a couple syringes
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: and we're shooting Jack. Daniels I was like, oh. It
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: was at that moment where I went, Okay, we could
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: just drink this, but we're shooting it. This is wrong
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: and somebody's gonna die.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Do you even remember the sensation of shooting booze? Did
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: it do anything differently? Yeah? You could taste it? Oh wow,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: you know like you taste heroin.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I have a friend, one of the healthiest people I
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: ever knew in my life. Eight right, exercised all the time.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: That kind of guy got done with a hike and
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: slumped over the steering wheel of his car with a
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: major heart attack, dead when he was like fifty. Then
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: you got people like this, the drummer for Motley Crue
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: who's injecting whiskey into his veins.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Who's still alive. Hey, God, explain all that. Yeah yeah, yeah. Uh.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: The next clip is quite long of Jay Leno and
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Adam Carolla. Jack, you're familiar with that, John, How long
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: is it? Mind and a half? I mean, like we're
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: going anywhere? Go ahead? Is that entertaining? Handsome?
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know the story, but as it told,
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: it's two comedians. Maybe it's funny because it's two comedians talking.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: We got always edit it out if it's not.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's just roll it.
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: When I was doing the Tonight Show, I was making
• 5:43
  Speaker 6: thirty million a year. It's ridiculous, okay. And NBCs, well,
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: we've got to have to cut half the crew, you know.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: So he had a big meeting.
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: I said, all right, bushaw hands, how many fail I
• 5:56
  Speaker 6: should take a fifty percent pay cut so you can
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: keep everybody. Well, I got out of voted.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Well I got screwed on that one.
• 6:04
  Speaker 6: But really, I already have fifteen million dollars I'm doing
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: pretty good. You know, I never thought i'd get this far.
• 6:11
  Speaker 6: And you know something, they were the best crew for
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: the rest of the days. You know, everything was always terrific.
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: It was a union crew. Every mighty have been a
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: good living. You know, guys who come up and show
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: me the car they bought in the house, they got
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: around the corner or whatever it might be. And it
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: didn't cost me anything really, because I had plenty of money.
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: I was making plenty of money.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: What year did you take the haircut? From fifteen?
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: It was in the two thousands, maybe two thousand and five.
• 6:41
  Speaker 6: From that point on, I think they.
• 6:44
  Speaker 7: The legend is is that you always kept all those
• 6:47
  Speaker 7: Tonight Show checks. You made your money doing live performances, Yeah,
• 6:52
  Speaker 7: corporate things and stuff like that.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: They got to be hungry.
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: I I live on I used to live week to week.
• 7:00
  Speaker 7: You literally just put those checks, you know, the bank,
• 7:03
  Speaker 7: and I read that the.
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: Money I made as a stand up. Yeah, I wanted
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: to be a comedian. I never thought TV was a
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: job that would last year. How many years did you
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: do that till the very end? I never touched any
• 7:15
  Speaker 6: of it.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting? He was making thirty million dollars a
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: year than fifteen million dollars year. He didn't spend any
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: of that money. All that lifestyle he had he earned
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: as a comedian, which is what he wanted to do.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: He wanted to be.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: I had lived this way because I am a on
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: the road comedian who's very successful. That's what he wanted
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: to be.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: And if I start spending any of this TV money,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I'll lose my hunger. That's you know. That ended up
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: being way more interesting than I expected.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I've heard him tell that story before, and I've told
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: my Jay Leno's story before. I spent some time with
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: him because he came to the town I was working
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: in at the time, and I went and picked him
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: up at the airport, which was an hour and a
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: half away. I picked him up at the airport and
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: drove him an hour and a half in the car
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: to this crappy motel that he stayed in during the
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: day to take a nap before he did his show
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: at night, which was fantastic, and then drove him all
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: the way back to the airport and he flew back
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: to California to be there the next day.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: For his tonight show. Gig.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I mean that's schlepping around. Yeah, he got that kind
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: of money. You don't need to live this lifestyle, but
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: he wanted to be a comedian.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So yeah, that's so interesting. How about the.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Very few people are ever in this sort of position.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: You're making thirty million dollars a year and they tell
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: you got to cut half of your crew. Well, or
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I could struggle to get by on fifteen million.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Dollars a year and we keep everybody right. Yeah, interesting,
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: imagine that made him popular. Yeah, you know, as funny
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: as we were discussing that clip and whether to play
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: it right here, as reminded of before the show, we
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: do a quick meeting where we go over what audio
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: we have and what do we need the thing? And
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I'll say hello, and once in a while it happens.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: And I've never have never commented on this before during
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: the meeting, but I'm going to comment on it now.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Sometimes when Michael or Hanson or Katie sometimes and she
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: will be back eventually, are describing a clip and why
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: it's a good clip, the description will be significantly longer
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: than the clip itself, And I think, why didn't we
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: just play the clip anyway? We were getting dangerously close
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: to that in our Jay Leno discussion. Let's see, Michael,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: does twelve need any setup?
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: No?
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I don't think so.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: It's a well, it's an.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Australian woman had a surprise gave birth to four identical girls.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: And this is a doctor Are you gonna say kangaroos? Now?
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: This is doctor talkin.
• 9:48
  Speaker 8: It's amazing, to be honest, particularly the fact that this
• 9:52
  Speaker 8: was spontaneously conceived. We do see multiple pregnancies more often
• 9:56
  Speaker 8: with fertility treatments, particularly IVF, but for this to be spontaneously,
• 10:00
  Speaker 8: theyved for the conception to happen. So one fertilized egg
• 10:03
  Speaker 8: that then splits not once, not twice, but three times
• 10:05
  Speaker 8: into four different babies and who then share a place center.
• 10:10
  Speaker 8: That is just amazing. And to end up with four
• 10:12
  Speaker 8: beautiful babies and a beautiful family now of ten.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Wow, so they had four kids. Now they got eight.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Identically, which I guess is very very rare.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how in.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: The world are you going to tell those kids apart?
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Depending on how identical you are. I had a a
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: good friend of mine in high school. His sisters were
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: identical twins, and he had to like walk around and
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: like look at them for a while to tell which
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: one was which.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Wow, they were like really identical.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody in high school had any idea which one
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: they were all the.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Time, right right, they'd play hilarious pranks or I don't
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: remember that, switch identities or try out each other's boyfriends.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: You'd have to up in situations where that wasn't me,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: you're mad at the wrong person.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Wow, I've actually heard about that being used as a
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: defense in a criminal case. I wasn't there. It was
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: my twin and twins like, no, it wasn't which one
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: was it? Copper? Yeah, tough stuff, any setup needed for thirteen.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Michael, twenty seven year old woman unhappy with men.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: That Okay, do we need to know her profession?
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: She's a locksmith.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, what.
• 11:31
  Speaker 9: I'm a locksmith in the city, and I'm tired of
• 11:34
  Speaker 9: all these locksmith men taking my jobs just because they
• 11:37
  Speaker 9: have more money to market themselves. So I also want
• 11:40
  Speaker 9: to feel safer, and I want to women to feel safer.
• 11:43
  Speaker 9: So how about you call me and said when you're
• 11:45
  Speaker 9: locked out instead of giving business to all these creepy men.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: All right? That was just odd? So she resents right,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: people who have money to market their business, correct, Yeah, Okay.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: That's a good angle, though. She could come up with
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: the money to market. You're a woman, you locked yourself
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: out of your car, it's late at night or whatever.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Don't call some random dude, call.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Me right, yeah, yeah, for that sort of call, and
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: even for like installing locks and stuff like that. She
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: could say, I understand what it's like to be a
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: woman in a city that has this much crime. I
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: want to help you feel it. That'd be a great pitch.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Maybe she should quit bitching and do something about her situation.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Uh wow, Well, she just had the whiny voice of
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: the victim, like somebody had done this to her.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Right, that's why I pulled the clip.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Dumbass anyway, so that you know that was over the line.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: She's yeah, I didn't like her attitude. Finally, we played
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: this at the beginning of the radio show. It's definitely
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: worth a encore presentation. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: the sounds of a German deer calling competition.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: That's pretty funny that you labeled it that way, Michael,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: when we all know there was a construction worker in
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: the stall next to you, and you had your phone
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: out and.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: He had this cycle or spiraeusis thing eating. Oh wow.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Oh now I'm looking at the picture as wow, that's
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: oh lord, oh my god. They're all they have their
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: mouths wide open and they are manipulating this tubular looking
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: thing and stroking their hand up and down. It's uh
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: as well, leaves very little to the imagination.
• 13:57
  Speaker 6: Huh.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: And then the idea is to call the moose so
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: it will come closer so you can kill.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: It, dear, Yes, dear, Yeah, yeah, they've.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: Been doing this in Germany for eight hundred years apparently.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Well, I wonder if there are primitive, primitive examples of
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: that device. I wonder what they're they're called those things.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: It's probably some forty three letter long German word. Yes,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: that's the deer fish stocking collar banknockn this is this
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: is the dear fan calling oparatus.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Of klabin with a with an O with two dots
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: above it.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, several of them. Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:39
  Speaker 10: If he calls it, dear dear, come close, then.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: He kills him. Yeah. I am the best. I've killed
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: many deer.
• 14:46
  Speaker 10: Yeah, some weird not you gotta can we post that
• 14:51
  Speaker 10: video at at hot under hot links, armstrong and getdy
• 14:55
  Speaker 10: dot com.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Not for children. I mean, it's a bunch of old
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: German guys calling deer, but really looks like they're they're pleasuring,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Stroking the right stuff.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm what uh hey metal guy?
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: That was That was an episode of You.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Had a punctuation there.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Well, I guess that's it.