Latest / Witness the Wonder Christian Podcast: Supernatural Christian Testimonies, Miracles, and God Stories / From Gang Kidnapping to God Encounter: Macc Fenner's Wild God Story | #supernatural #miracles #faith
Transcript
- 0:00Got kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint.
- 0:02He was going to kill me. The others in the gang got very
- 0:05nervous. Welcome to Witness the Wonder.
- 0:18I'm your host Christina Smith. Recently I was praying and I
- 0:21felt the Holy Spirit speak very clearly interview Mack Fenner.
- 0:26He has a wild God story. So when I shared that with Mack,
- 0:30Mack told me he does not like to share his testimony.
- 0:33After that, Mack said OK, I'll share my wild God story.
- 0:37So I'm stepping into this conversation just like you are,
- 0:41without knowing exactly what's coming, but fully trusting that
- 0:45God does. Mac welcome.
- 0:48Well, thank you for having me. I'm I'm a little nervous like
- 0:51you mentioned. I don't like telling my story
- 0:54because my past has nothing to do with who I am now.
- 0:57I was alone in this world until I gave my life to the Lord at
- 1:01the age of 33 years old. I was born into extreme poverty
- 1:06with a single mom who did what she had to do to keep us alive.
- 1:09Some of those things were unspeakable.
- 1:11So it wasn't uncommon for me to see multiple men coming through
- 1:15the apartment or the shack or the trailer or the camper or the
- 1:19bus that we were living in at the time every day and
- 1:22especially at night. And it felt wrong and dirty,
- 1:25especially when I would see the men and my mom naked.
- 1:29Sometimes she would leave me with family members and others
- 1:33for extended periods of time, and during one of these stints I
- 1:36ended up being molested in several ways and raped almost
- 1:40daily. For about two years of my
- 1:43childhood, I was being raped under threat of death, and I was
- 1:46assured many times that if I ever told anyone, I would be
- 1:49killed. When I struggled, I was beaten.
- 1:52So to say that I was living with anxiety or fear just doesn't cut
- 1:55it. I lived those two years in sheer
- 1:59terror 100% of the time. My mom ended up meeting a good
- 2:03man who took us off the streets when I was 9 or 10 years old.
- 2:07I was extremely grateful for my new stepdad.
- 2:10Although my mom would treat him like dirt quite a bit, he stood
- 2:13by her. Even when I defended him against
- 2:16my mom, I would get in trouble with him.
- 2:18Don't talk to your mom like that.
- 2:20He did his best to teach me how to be a man, how to work, how to
- 2:23take responsibility for my actions, and how to lead.
- 2:26But before my stepdad, my mom and I moved around a lot,
- 2:29sometimes as many as three times per week.
- 2:31And moving slowed down quite a bit when she got married.
- 2:34But it didn't stop. Between kindergarten and 12th
- 2:37grade, I only attended the same school for an entire year twice.
- 2:41Despite that, I always made straight A's in school.
- 2:43I think focusing on academics helped me feel as grounded as I
- 2:48could, being that I lived like a nomad for my entire life.
- 2:51Different school, different people, different environments,
- 2:54but math and science always stayed the same, so I enjoyed
- 2:57school work. Once I got into high school, I
- 2:59was surrounded by violence, including gang violence.
- 3:03The only way I could see to avoid the incessant bullying and
- 3:06living in fear again was to become a tough guy myself and
- 3:10push back hard. So push back hard.
- 3:13I did. I felt like I was going to die
- 3:16if I didn't fight back. I ended up joining up with a
- 3:19local gang and did some unspeakable things myself, the
- 3:23least of which was drugs and alcohol and needless useless
- 3:27violence. I had become absolutely enraged.
- 3:31It wasn't until later that I realized that I had actually
- 3:33invited in a spirit of rage into my my life which the Lord ended
- 3:38up delivering me from. Years later, as a young adult, I
- 3:41ended up getting into a situation where I got kidnapped
- 3:43and held hostage at gunpoint for a few hours.
- 3:46I got jumped by the perpetrators periodically throughout the
- 3:49ordeal, beaten up, punched a lot, etcetera.
- 3:51But when the leader of this gang made the decision that he was
- 3:54going to kill me, the others in the gang got very nervous.
- 3:58So when he walked out of the room for a moment, I saw my
- 4:00chance. I was able to physically fight
- 4:02my way out and I escaped. This event sort of woke me up.
- 4:06I still wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself,
- 4:08but I suddenly didn't feel the need to fit in or be accepted
- 4:12anymore. I got out of the gang and
- 4:14started focusing on school. I was in college at the time.
- 4:17I met a girl and got married. We weren't Christians, so we
- 4:21were leading somewhat of an alternative lifestyle, which
- 4:24included lots of sexual immorality.
- 4:26You name it, we did it. And drugs and alcohol.
- 4:29We ended up having a child in 1999.
- 4:31That's my oldest daughter. And when my daughter was born,
- 4:34my wife went into postpartum depression and became very
- 4:37distant and promiscuous with others while I was trying to
- 4:40straighten my life up and focus on my daughter and my education.
- 4:44I was also in a rock band at the time and they would have
- 4:47supported me no matter what I did, but I still felt very, very
- 4:50alone in my struggle. Little did I know that this was
- 4:55the beginning of the Lord calling me to my purpose, my
- 4:58destiny. I ended up catching my wife in
- 5:00bed with another man and we split for good.
- 5:03I was heartbroken and felt completely devastated.
- 5:06I divorced her and got full 100% custody of my daughter and life
- 5:10became even more difficult. My mom and stepdad wouldn't
- 5:14watch my daughter until she was out of diapers and I lost almost
- 5:17all of my friends because I had stopped doing drugs and alcohol
- 5:20and I didn't want it at my house anymore.
- 5:22So not long after the divorce I moved and I didn't have any help
- 5:26and with no babysitter and no help moving, I found myself
- 5:29carrying beds and washer and dryer, refrigerator, couches,
- 5:33everything by myself with a one year old running around my legs.
- 5:36Everything became more difficult, but I think the
- 5:39hardest part were those times when my daughter would bang on
- 5:43the door and slap on the windows asking where's mommy?
- 5:46On top of that, my daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's
- 5:48Syndrome and had special needs and needed extra special
- 5:52attention and patience. Raising her alone without all
- 5:55the rest would have been hard enough, but there I was, working
- 5:5950 to 60 hours per week, going to college and raising my
- 6:02daughter alone. It was tough, but with no other
- 6:04distractions like a wife, I was able to focus on my music and my
- 6:08education. After going to.
- 6:10After going to college part time for 12 years, making the Dean's
- 6:15list every single semester, making straight one hundreds or
- 6:19better on every assignment, every quiz, every test, I
- 6:23finally graduated valedictorian with A4 Point OGPAI felt very
- 6:27proud of myself. That was in 2004.
- 6:30In the same year my band was doing very well.
- 6:32We had the opportunity to open up for some big names like 3
- 6:35Doors Down, Breaking Benjamin, Corn, 5 Finger Death Punch,
- 6:39Shinedown, and Stained. So as tough as things were, my
- 6:42life was actually at its peak in the eyes of this world.
- 6:45That being said, I was feeling just as empty and as angry as I
- 6:49ever had. I knew that there was something
- 6:51more than all of this, but I just couldn't put my finger on
- 6:54what it was. What was missing.
- 6:56It felt like truth itself was missing.
- 6:59I felt an urgency in my spirit to find that missing truth.
- 7:03Now. I had always pondered deep
- 7:05things, studying quantum physics in my spare time, time travel,
- 7:08string theory, M theory, multiple universes, but I had
- 7:11never been interested in religion before.
- 7:14I began a journey in my life in an attempt to fill that void.
- 7:18I had no choice. I became absolutely determined
- 7:21to find the truth. I researched many different
- 7:24religions and I attended many different types of churches in
- 7:28the area. I felt more drawn toward
- 7:30Christianity, but I figured that was because my mom considered
- 7:33herself Catholic and she had brought me to church a couple of
- 7:36times as a child. By the middle of this mission I
- 7:39had read the Bible front to back and much of it was obviously
- 7:42truth to me. But I had questions.
- 7:44Questions that no one seemed to be able to answer.
- 7:47Even pastors and churches would become visibly upset with me
- 7:51when I asked certain questions. Once I was even accused of
- 7:54practicing witchcraft because of the questions I asked, but I
- 7:58thought they were valid questions for a non Christian
- 8:00trying to understand. I just wanted to understand the
- 8:03belief system. I knew that I could forgive
- 8:05someone no matter what they did, but you're saying Almighty God,
- 8:09the essence of love himself, can't forgive me unless there's
- 8:12a bloody horrible murder on a cross first?
- 8:14Is that right? If I can forgive, why can't God?
- 8:18I could not grasp it and asking these questions just seemed to
- 8:22upset people. Now I could see ample evidence
- 8:25all around me that the universe was obviously created on
- 8:28purpose, not on accident. With a scientific mind and an
- 8:31education, I knew that everything around me, down to
- 8:33the smallest subatomic particles, had a purpose.
- 8:35If everything has a purpose, then it was designed on purpose
- 8:39for a purpose. So I had accepted that there was
- 8:42a God, but I still wasn't too sure about this Jesus stuff.
- 8:46I had too many unanswered questions and unfortunately the
- 8:49enemy was obliged to fill in the blanks for me during my search
- 8:52for truth. I felt frustrated and I started
- 8:54rebelling. I started preaching out against
- 8:56Christianity and against Christ everywhere I went.
- 9:00Until one night when my band was practicing, I started preaching
- 9:04out against Christ and my drummer rebuked me.
- 9:06He opened up the Word of God to me that night in a way that had
- 9:09never been done before. God used him in that moment, and
- 9:12I submitted my life to Jesus Christ right then and there.
- 9:14And then I looked over and I saw Jesus Christ in the Spirit in my
- 9:19drummer's front yard. He had the most amazing look of
- 9:22love and grace on his face. It was as if he knew this day
- 9:25was coming and he had his arms open wide.
- 9:30Is it to say welcome to the truth that you've been seeking
- 9:34my child? Immediately I fell prostate on
- 9:36the ground, and I've been falling more and more in love
- 9:39with Jesus ever since. By the way, one of the songs I
- 9:41wrote in my heavy metal band had the lyrics.
- 9:44I'll never bow down before you're Jesus.
- 9:46Jesus said, Oh, that's the first thing you gonna do?
- 9:49Bam, I hit my face. That was in November of 2008,
- 9:54which is when my new journey began, a journey of forgiveness
- 9:57and deliverance, revelation and growth.
- 9:59Two months later, I met the love of my life in church.
- 10:03We ended up getting married just a few months after that, and we
- 10:06we've now been happily married for almost 17 years.
- 10:09All together. We got five children.
- 10:11And we make sure that they know Jesus and I'm careful to answer
- 10:15tough questions they may have along the way.
- 10:17What's my story? I ran from Jesus.
- 10:20I pushed back, I rebelled. Then I ran some more than I
- 10:24fought some more. The truth is, he chased me down.
- 10:28He never gave up, but I finally did.
- 10:33I broke. I gave up my fight to survive
- 10:36and I died. And now I truly live.
- 10:40I've been reborn. I live now as a chosen, redeemed
- 10:43child of God. I am free, healed, and
- 10:47delivered. Hebrews chapter 10 verse 14 says
- 10:49it. By His sacrifice I have been
- 10:51made perfect, affected, and completely cleansed.
- 10:55While I'm yet growing in my spiritual maturity, I am loved.
- 11:01And I am becoming love, the very thing that set me free.
- 11:05Now. I sing for Christ on stage.
- 11:08I preach out for Christ at karaoke bars, at house parties,
- 11:13at work, on the streets, at the store, everywhere I go.
- 11:18That's my story. Wow, I honestly am speechless
- 11:20right now. And you said I would be.
- 11:23And it's not in a bad way because I'm specious.
- 11:26Because it's amazing how one person can go through so much
- 11:33and still have joy, have hope, have peace, be loving.
- 11:38And it's simply, as you said, because you are becoming love,
- 11:42right? Because God is loved.
- 11:43I'm just overwhelmed right now at the goodness of God and how
- 11:47he takes our brokenness and he turns it into something
- 11:51beautiful. Because what you didn't say, you
- 11:54mentor young boy, you didn't go into a whole lot in your
- 11:58testimony. But you know, all the things
- 12:00that we go through in our life, we don't go through him in vain.
- 12:03He doesn't waste anything we walk through.
- 12:06He simply takes it. And then if we allow him to, he
- 12:10uses it to minister someone else.
- 12:13And so I love that you're taking all that stuff that you've gone
- 12:17through and you're pouring into young men.
- 12:19Yeah, because it's not about me, it's about them.
- 12:23And, you know, when I first started ministering, I focused
- 12:26on young men because it's who I felt comfortable with.
- 12:29But the truth is, now I can minister to anybody.
- 12:32I can minister to little old ladies, and it doesn't matter
- 12:35who. And, you know, sometimes you get
- 12:37to see the fruit and sometimes you don't.
- 12:39But I'll tell you a little story.
- 12:41Years ago, I saw a buddy of mine, his little brother,
- 12:45walking down the road and I stopped and said, hey, man, you
- 12:47need a ride. He said yeah.
- 12:49So I gave him a ride down the road.
- 12:52Where are you staying now? He showed me and I went in there
- 12:55with him and there was about 15 guys in there there smoking weed
- 12:58and drinking and playing Domino's and whatnot.
- 13:01I went in there. Hey, brother, you know, within
- 13:0310 minutes I'm preaching. I don't know how it happened,
- 13:06but I'm in there preaching. And it was great.
- 13:09But there was a guy in another room that I never met, didn't
- 13:14talk to, never made eye contact, but I saw him through this
- 13:18little foyer area and he was in a recliner watching ATV that I
- 13:22couldn't see in the in the living room.
- 13:24We were in the in the kitchen dining room area.
- 13:26And every now and then that guy would look over from his
- 13:29recliner and look back at the TV.
- 13:32OK, Fast forward year and a half later, I'm at the store, I'm
- 13:36walking out of the store and I had just gotten into an argument
- 13:39with someone and I was kind of in my flesh, you know?
- 13:42And here comes this little car rolling up and this guy hangs
- 13:48out the window, half of his body.
- 13:50They got bandanas on and backwards hats and all this, and
- 13:53this guy hangs half of his body out the window.
- 13:55Hey, Mac, look, I didn't know the guy.
- 13:57They pulled up kind of aggressively with this loud
- 14:00music and stop the car. They all get out.
- 14:03This one guy starts running at me and I start flicks and I'm
- 14:07like, I'm fixing to smash all of these guys, you know, And I'm
- 14:10making a play like that guy's first, you know, I told you I
- 14:14was in my flesh. You know, I'm like, these guys
- 14:17are £200 or less. That means I can throw them.
- 14:20OK. You know, I'm like, the guy runs
- 14:22up to me and he says, hey, man, I just want to let you know you
- 14:24changed my life. I said what he says, yeah, man.
- 14:28Year and a half ago, you were at my house preaching.
- 14:30And I just want to let you know that I quit doing drugs.
- 14:34I quit selling drugs. I, I started going to church.
- 14:36I gave my life to the Lord. And me and all my friends here
- 14:39are going to Mexico on a mission trip next week.
- 14:43I just melted. I just melted.
- 14:45I was like, Lord Jesus, thank you.
- 14:47Thank you for pulling me back out of my flesh.
- 14:49Thank you for showing me this fruit.
- 14:51I am a fruit bearer. That is proof, according to John
- 14:5415, that I am connected to the true vine.
- 14:57Thank you. Father Yeah.
- 14:59Even while if you hadn't gone through all that stuff that you
- 15:02went through, you probably wouldn't have even been in his
- 15:05house potentially. Do you know what I mean?
- 15:07Having walked where they walked through it equipped you to
- 15:10minister to that that group of young men in a way that I
- 15:15couldn't go do. I wouldn't be able to
- 15:16breakthrough their barriers because they're going to look at
- 15:22me and like you don't know anything about where I've been
- 15:25or what I'm going through, but you did.
- 15:28That's what God does with our stories, with our testimonies,
- 15:31is it opens doors that we can't get through any other way if we
- 15:37hadn't walked through it. And now that's four or five
- 15:41lives that were changed for eternity.
- 15:43And how far does God's power ripple out right?
- 15:47Because they're going to. Mischief, right?
- 15:49So there could be a child born in Africa 200 years from now
- 15:54that ends up changing the world because of one act of obedience,
- 15:57right? Your testimony is your
- 15:59testimony, but like you said at the start of this, that's who
- 16:03you were. It's it's what shoots you and
- 16:05mold you into who you are today. Now our life experiences do
- 16:09that, but at the same time, you're not that person anymore
- 16:13either. No, absolutely.
- 16:16Maybe talk to that because somehow, without going through
- 16:19those things, they shape us and mold us into who we are.
- 16:23But at the same time, we're not no longer that person.
- 16:27We're a new creation in Christ. Absolutely.
- 16:30But I will say that there was a time when the Lord would not
- 16:35allow me to go sing karaoke. First of all, I had to quit the
- 16:38metal band I was in because I was screaming out against Christ
- 16:41in that band. I tried to start a Christian
- 16:44metal band, but it wasn't time. There was too much me on stage.
- 16:49I had to get off stage and let God get on stage through me, and
- 16:53I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't do karaoke.
- 16:55I couldn't go back into the darkness as light until I
- 16:58understood, like Jesus says in Matthew five, I am light and
- 17:02salt. One of the best characteristics
- 17:06about salt is that it impregnates its surroundings.
- 17:09Once you put salt in your water or on your food, you can't get
- 17:12it out, you can't get it off. It impregnates its surroundings.
- 17:16I am salt, I am light. And so now, like you said,
- 17:21because of my past, I go into these house parties where
- 17:23they've got live music, they're jamming out heavy metal music.
- 17:26There's guitarist, drummer, everybody you know, set up.
- 17:29There's 3040 people in this house and everybody's partying
- 17:32and I go in there, they're passing the weed around right in
- 17:35front of me. I'm like, oh, excuse me, pardon
- 17:36me, You know? And they're FFFGD.
- 17:39They're just in the world. They're not noticing it, how
- 17:41they sound, what they look like, anything.
- 17:43Of course I see it and I'm not engaged in it, not being a part
- 17:46of it. I am there being light, showing
- 17:48them love. Hey, you are loved right now.
- 17:51You don't have to clean up before Jesus loves you.
- 17:56You don't have to be perfect before you come to church.
- 17:58So I'm just being loved. And then inevitably somebody's
- 18:01like, hey, man, will you blow up the microphone for us?
- 18:03I'm like, sure. And then I'll get on like,
- 18:06whatever I'm doing, I'll sing something.
- 18:07And they're like, yeah, you know, And then wait a minute, is
- 18:11he singing about Jesus? Yeah, you know, and they're
- 18:14like, and they'll put the weed out and then they start curbing
- 18:17their tongue around me and everything.
- 18:18And they start apologizing that hey, man, I'm sorry about my
- 18:21tongue. I have the way I've been
- 18:22talking. Dude, you don't owe me no
- 18:24apology, man. I'm not offended.
- 18:25It doesn't bother me. Dude, what's going on is that
- 18:28I'm light. See the light of the world
- 18:30resides within me and I've got overflow.
- 18:33His light is shining, illuminating out of me.
- 18:36So when I walk into the room, light walked into the room and
- 18:39then you start seeing stuff that you've been bumping around in
- 18:42the dark, but now the light comes on you starting to see.
- 18:44Oh, I better put that up. I better put this down.
- 18:46I better start curving my but I'm not judging you.
- 18:49I ain't got nothing but welcome. I want you to know that since
- 18:53you ain't going to church and preachers ain't coming here, I'm
- 18:56Jesus today. I'm the only Jesus you gonna see
- 18:58today. And I'm telling you, you are
- 19:00loved. And I start trying to tell these
- 19:02people about the love of Christ Jesus and the sacrifice that he
- 19:07made for them and the potential that lies on the other side of a
- 19:11single decision. The joy, the peace, the
- 19:15supernatural wisdom, and all kinds of life change that can
- 19:19happen for the better. The truth that they can finally
- 19:22find and all the blessings that come with this one decision and
- 19:27that they don't have to go through it alone.
- 19:29I'm not just going to bring them up to the altar, say a prayer,
- 19:31and then leave them there. No, discipleship is where my
- 19:34heart is. I walk it with these guys.
- 19:37Then sometimes eyes are open, tears fall, lives change, and
- 19:40sometimes it doesn't. A lot of times, you know, people
- 19:43rebuke me. And what's amazing is how often
- 19:47I'm approached by atheists in these places.
- 19:49There's always at least one, if not two or three.
- 19:53Sometimes I'm surrounded with them and they come at me and I'm
- 19:57like, thank God for logic and reason.
- 19:59Because the most logical, reasonable, rational thing you
- 20:03can think of. If you follow logic, you will
- 20:06end up at. There's a God we can get as
- 20:08scientific as you want. OK, Quantum physics says that
- 20:12matter, subatomic particles, which make up atomic particles,
- 20:16which make up everything, they don't even exist until they're
- 20:19observed. So if a consciousness is not
- 20:22observing something, then it just doesn't physically exist.
- 20:26That's what quantum physics says.
- 20:27So if we exist, if this universe exists, then what?
- 20:31Consciousness on the outside of space-time could have observed
- 20:35it to make it come into existence.
- 20:38So quantum physics itself is proving the existence of God,
- 20:42and it doesn't matter what it is, we can talk through it.
- 20:44We're gonna find Jesus at the bottom of it.
- 20:47When I started my podcast, it wasn't a Christian podcast.
- 20:50It was just I had stuff to say Every time I got deep into a
- 20:54topic, I found Jesus at the bottom.
- 20:56Every single topic, no matter what it was, when I got to the
- 21:00bottom of it, there was Jesus. Hey, what's up?
- 21:03Been down here waiting on you. And I said, you know what,
- 21:05that's it. I'm not going to try to avoid
- 21:07you anymore. Jesus.
- 21:08This is now a Christian podcast. We might as well just start with
- 21:13Jesus. You know, we can start with deep
- 21:15things. We can start with truth, not
- 21:17trying to get there. Let's just start there and then
- 21:20go deeper. So how do we navigate life?
- 21:24How do we navigate real life with real problems while serving
- 21:28a real God? That's what we talk about.
- 21:30That's awesome. If you're a Christian, you're a
- 21:32Christ bear, right? You're like, you are a little
- 21:35Christ. You represent him on the earth.
- 21:37Here's the deal. I don't care about labels.
- 21:40Labels mean nothing. Eternal life is to know Him.
- 21:44I want to know Him. And you can know him too,
- 21:47because I am indwelled with the Holy Spirit and I have living
- 21:52water overflowing out of me. And when you're around me,
- 21:56you're going to get to know Jesus Christ.
- 21:59We're going to talk about Jesus. We're going to live Jesus.
- 22:01We're going to be Jesus to everybody.
- 22:05You're right. We represent Him on earth.
- 22:07We are His body. We are his ambassadors.
- 22:10And He, he needs your permission to do things on earth.
- 22:13So you may not realize that it may sound a sacrilegious or
- 22:16something, but His will stops at your will.
- 22:20He's designed it out of a place of love that your will is above
- 22:24His when it comes to things happening on this earth because
- 22:27He wants what's best for you, right?
- 22:29Because that's what love does, OK?
- 22:32He loves you and he won't wants what's best for you.
- 22:34Well, what is best for you to know him is to love him.
- 22:38So to love him, if that's what's best for you, why doesn't he
- 22:41just make you love him and take away your free will and make his
- 22:46will more powerful than yours? No, because then it wouldn't be
- 22:49love. So what's best for you is for
- 22:52Him to stop His will at yours so that you can truly love Him,
- 22:57which is the best possible thing for you.
- 22:59And so He needs our permission for things to manifest here on
- 23:04the earth. His power manifests through our
- 23:07obedience. When He calls us to do something
- 23:10or flat out tells us to do something when we do it, His
- 23:14power manifests into our lives, into the lives of those around
- 23:17us. And like we mentioned earlier,
- 23:19maybe throughout generations, His power could ripple out
- 23:23through one act of obedience. In fact, the Bible talks about
- 23:25it, the one act of sin from Adam, Look at the effect it had.
- 23:29All of mankind was born into sin after that, and the one act of
- 23:34sacrifice by Jesus Christ saved the world forever.
- 23:39You know, let me tell you a little story about obedience.
- 23:41Once I became a Christian, the place I was working at the time,
- 23:45I had some serious problems because everybody was in the
- 23:48world. I was in the world.
- 23:49And then I became a Christian, the only one in there.
- 23:51And this one guy in particular, man, he hated me.
- 23:55We used to be cool, but after I became a Christian, he couldn't
- 23:58stand me at all. And he kept being a jerk to me,
- 24:01you know, And it was tough. Every day I felt bullied.
- 24:04I was fighting my flesh because I wanted to retaliate and
- 24:06whatnot. And, you know, I felt hurt.
- 24:09It hurt for this guy to be attacking me all the time,
- 24:12verbally and whatnot. So one day he sneezed and I said
- 24:15God bless you. And he says a few, except he
- 24:18said the bad word. And then I had to fight my
- 24:20flesh. Immediately I started speaking
- 24:22the word. It was greater is he that is in
- 24:23me than he that is in this world.
- 24:25My battle is not with flesh. And I said, Father, you said to
- 24:29pray for your enemies, and I don't consider him an enemy, but
- 24:33apparently he considers me one. So Father, I just pray that you
- 24:35bless his socks off. God said, why do you think I've
- 24:38got you there? Go bless him right now.
- 24:41God, you got me bent. I don't know what you're talking
- 24:43about. I ain't fitting to go over there
- 24:44and bless him. But I don't know how to bless
- 24:46him. Maybe somebody else can bless.
- 24:48Lord, can you just? But I was like, OK, that's it.
- 24:50I couldn't handle the conviction.
- 24:52I stood up and I he nervously took steps toward the guy's
- 24:55desk. And I was like, I have no clue
- 24:57what I'm going to say, what I'm going to do.
- 24:59I don't know. I went over there and the guy
- 25:01looks up. Yeah.
- 25:02I said, hey, man, do I need to make amends with you for
- 25:05anything? He says no.
- 25:07I said, OK. I said, how can I bless you?
- 25:10So what? Yeah.
- 25:11I said, you know, I used to be an inspector.
- 25:13I could. I know you've got a report due
- 25:14out by noon. I could do that report for you,
- 25:16if you don't mind. I'd like to do it.
- 25:17No, no, no, no. That's OK.
- 25:19I said OK, I felt released all the sudden through my act of
- 25:23obedience. I was like, OK, so I started to
- 25:25walk away. And he goes, hey, but thank you.
- 25:28God changed his heart in an instant, softened his heart,
- 25:32changed his perspective. I can't change a man's heart.
- 25:36But I saw God do it in an instant through one act of
- 25:39obedience. In fact, this guy was never mean
- 25:41to me again. And somebody told me that when I
- 25:44wasn't around, somebody else was talking smack about me.
- 25:47And he had my back when I wasn't there.
- 25:50If we'd have done things my way, we'd have both been fired.
- 25:53But I obeyed God and I saw him change a man's heart in an
- 25:57instant. And I've, I've got story after
- 25:59story about obedience, bringing forth His power, just releasing
- 26:03his power into our lives. Sometimes we get to see the
- 26:07fruit and man, that's a blessing.
- 26:09Sometimes we don't. But we got to trust that His
- 26:11power is being released through our obedience.
- 26:14Absolutely. I do have some questions
- 26:16pertaining to your testimony. I'm curious what your band was
- 26:20called. The name of that band was called
- 26:22Dilemma. I got into a heavy metal band
- 26:24called A Moment of Chaos, and that's where I really started
- 26:27screaming out against Christ. And that was a little shocking
- 26:30to me that you were singing and out against Christ.
- 26:36But the drummer in that band is who led you to the Lord.
- 26:40Explain that to a. Christian and he just put up
- 26:43with my mouth for a long time. Everybody did.
- 26:47I was more than abrasive. I was aggressive and scary.
- 26:51And so many people prayed for me and would tell me things like,
- 26:56hey man, if you don't choose Jesus, you're going to go to
- 26:59hell. And I don't want that for you.
- 27:01I love you, man. I want you to go to heaven.
- 27:05And it felt like they hated me. They were showing love and
- 27:08concern for me, but it felt like hate and I hated them back for
- 27:12it. I wanted Christians to die.
- 27:15Why were you so angry at Christians?
- 27:19I felt so much pressure. I was rebelling.
- 27:22Holy Spirit was tapping on my shoulder in this, in these years
- 27:25in my life, and I was just get off.
- 27:28I was running. I'm telling you, He chased me
- 27:30over mountains and threw every nook and cranny over the most
- 27:33horrible terrain on planet Earth.
- 27:36He chased me down and I fought and I rebelled and I pushed
- 27:41back. Angry at him because of the
- 27:43things that you'd walked through and that he wasn't there, that
- 27:47he allowed it to go on. I wasn't angry at him, I was
- 27:51just angry. I had a spirit of rage so.
- 27:54That it happened to you. Like where did that?
- 27:57Where was the root of that from? I think it all started when I
- 28:01started fighting back in high school.
- 28:03I had been bullied and taken advantage of and beaten and
- 28:07everything else my entire life. And then one day I snapped.
- 28:13It was a survival instinct. I was going to die if I didn't
- 28:17survive. What happened is I got jumped by
- 28:19a bunch of people. Me and two other guys got jumped
- 28:23by a crowd of people, and I snapped.
- 28:26I found out that basically I can take what just about anybody has
- 28:30as far as getting punched in the face, and most people cannot
- 28:35take what I've got to dish out and praise God, because I had to
- 28:39survive that situation. After that I was like never
- 28:43again. And I started being the
- 28:45aggressor, I started being the the bully and I wanted to be
- 28:49accepted by the bad guys, to be safe.
- 28:52It all came from a place of fear survival.
- 28:56So I wanted to be accepted by those bad tough guys and I had
- 29:00to become one and. Or so you thought.
- 29:03Yeah, at the time. Except the reason I say that is
- 29:06not to be, you know, flippant about it.
- 29:08But now we're accepted by those people for a whole different
- 29:13reason. I don't know, anger and rage
- 29:15then now it's the love of Christ that they're accepting you.
- 29:20Isn't that crazy? The clip.
- 29:23It's crazy, but I'm so blessed. But these people who were loving
- 29:27me, I'd just like to say I'm sorry for the way I responded to
- 29:30you guys. Sometimes I I was in a bad place
- 29:33in my life and you loved me and I, I looked at it as hate and I
- 29:38was so twisted. Mac, this has been so good and I
- 29:42appreciate you sharing your testimony and your story.
- 29:45We know at the heart of who you are as a person.
- 29:48It's all about getting as many people into heaven.
- 29:52Absolutely. And I know that is in essence
- 29:55the bottom line for you. You've gone through a lot in
- 29:58your life and there are people that I'm sure are listening.
- 30:01They're like, how did you, how did you make it through there?
- 30:03I mean, you've, you've really shared how you made it through.
- 30:06You initially was survived until you surrendered.
- 30:11Yeah, I mean, the truth is I gave up my fight to survive and
- 30:17I died and I was reborn a new creature in Christ.
- 30:22Absolutely. Jesus says in three of the four
- 30:24gospels, if you want to be my disciple, then you got to ask
- 30:27yourself, is that me? Yeah.
- 30:29Then you must deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow
- 30:33me. And by the way, if you're
- 30:34carrying a cross in those days, you're a dead man walking.
- 30:38You've got to die to yourself. And sometimes that has to happen
- 30:41daily. Sometimes it has to happen
- 30:43multiple times per day. And be, you know, when you get
- 30:46baptized, you know, I've heard again and again people say this
- 30:49is a public profession of your faith.
- 30:51Well, it's it's more than that. This is a public commitment to
- 30:56die to yourself and be reborn a new creature in Christ.
- 31:00Haley, give up the fight to survive, live for Christ.
- 31:05The new life you get comes with an inheritance.
- 31:08And I went through a list earlier with all of the amazing
- 31:11things. Look, we can either believe what
- 31:14our past says about us, what our circumstance says about us, what
- 31:18our insecurities say about us, what others say about us, or we
- 31:22can believe what God's Word says about us.
- 31:26It's not arrogance to agree with God's Word about who you are.
- 31:31In fact, why would you agree with what a human being says?
- 31:34You can't even decide who you are.
- 31:37You know, Chris, if you've met 1000 people in your life, 1000
- 31:40people have seen 1000 different faces of Christina.
- 31:44Is there a lady at a grocery store or a restaurant from three
- 31:48years ago that if she sees you right now, is going to go?
- 31:52There's that jerk. She thinks because, OK, they're
- 31:55out there, right? She thinks that's who you are
- 31:58and the other 999 think that's who you are and you think you
- 32:04know who you are. No, we've got to go to God's
- 32:07word. He gets to decide who we are,
- 32:10not me. And it's on the other side of a
- 32:12decision. Ask yourself this question, if
- 32:14you're out there, if you died right now, would you go to
- 32:16heaven or hell? If your answer isn't absolutely
- 32:20heaven, I know I'm going to heaven, then you need to give
- 32:23your life to Christ right now, today.
- 32:25Give me an e-mail, Mac with 2C's mac@frontallobepodcast.com.
- 32:31Hook up with me. We'll pray together.
- 32:33We can walk this out together. If you've got questions, we can
- 32:37get on the phone, we'll talk about it.
- 32:38I love you guys. Absolutely.
- 32:40This has been so good. Thank you so much, Mac, for
- 32:43being willing to share your testimony.
- 32:47Before I go, is there any last thing that you wanted to say?
- 32:51Would you like me to pray us out?
- 32:52Absolutely. That would be awesome if you
- 32:54would do that. All right, let's pray.
- 32:56Heavenly Father, thank you for this conversation and this
- 32:59platform. Father, I pray that you help
- 33:02Christina reach and encourage many hearts.
- 33:04I lift up this podcast and Christina and every single
- 33:09listener tuning in. Father, I ask that your presence
- 33:12would fill this space. Let your love, your wisdom, and
- 33:15your truth flow through every word spoken here today.
- 33:19I pray that those out there who might be searching for hope, for
- 33:23answers, or for a deeper connection with you would find
- 33:27it not just in our voices, but in the gentle leading of Your
- 33:31Holy Spirit. Thank you, Father, but for every
- 33:34listener out there, I pray that you keep your hearts and your
- 33:37minds open, Father, I pray that they that you meet them right
- 33:42where they are. Bring healing where there's pain
- 33:45and wounds, bring clarity where there's confusion, Father, and
- 33:49faith where there's fear. Thank you, Lord Father, help
- 33:52every single listener out there understand their worth,
- 33:55understand their value, their purpose, their destiny.
- 33:58And Father, I just pray that you overwhelm them with the
- 34:01knowledge of your love. Help them to experience you in a
- 34:05way that they never have before. Thank you Lord and Lord Jesus,
- 34:09may your name be lifted high through this platform.
- 34:13Continue to set those in bondage free and let your life shine
- 34:17through US. Jesus name.
- 34:20Amen. Amen.
- 34:21So Mac, if anybody is listening today and they have a story
- 34:25similar to yours and they want to reach out to you, how can
- 34:28they do that? So you're welcome to send me an
- 34:31e-mail at mac@frontallobepodcast.com.
- 34:34That's Mac with 2C's and if you want to check out the show, you
- 34:38can check it out on our website thatsfrontallobepodcast.com or
- 34:43you can see it on YouTube or you can listen to it on that your
- 34:47favorite platform. Mac, thank you so much for
- 34:50sharing your story today. It it's truly blessed me and I
- 34:53know it's going to bless our audience.
- 34:55If you were listening today and this minister to you, reach out
- 34:59to Mac, but I want to hear too. I want to hear your testimony at
- 35:02christinasmithofficial.com. You can go there and send me a
- 35:05message. You can find our other episodes
- 35:08out there as well, but you really help us by sharing these
- 35:13episodes. It helps spread the gospel and
- 35:15helps bless other people that are that need to hear the
- 35:18message. If you would help us by
- 35:20subscribing and following us on social media at Witness the
- 35:23Wonder, we appreciate your support.
- 35:26Thank you. Remember, God is always at work
- 35:29in your story.