Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Feminist Movie Friday: Promising Young Woman

Transcript

Feminist Movie Friday: Promising Young Woman · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I don't goin a
0:07
Speaker 1: Stephane never told you production of I Heart Radio. And
0:18
Speaker 1: it is time for our first feminist movie Friday, and
0:22
Speaker 1: I think it is coming out on Friday of This
0:26
Speaker 1: one has been much much requested. And I blame all
0:29
Speaker 1: of you for my trauma. You held that. I blame
0:35
Speaker 1: the people who I'm just kidding. It was a movie
0:37
Speaker 1: we should have watched, but I'm traumatized. Thank you very much.
0:40
Speaker 1: It was quite traumatizing. We were talking about promising young
0:44
Speaker 1: woman and I remember I had been meaning to watch it.
0:48
Speaker 1: I knew it was going to be a rough one.
0:50
Speaker 1: I knew generally how it ended, and I was like
0:55
Speaker 1: preparing myself to watch it and it was still pretty yeah,
0:59
Speaker 1: pretty rough. So go ahead and put content warning here.
1:02
Speaker 1: It is a dramatic movie and it does involve sexual assault, rape, suicide, death, um, murder,
1:12
Speaker 1: all of that. Yeah, And just like a general again,
1:17
Speaker 1: if you if you know anybody who's experienced sexual assault
1:20
Speaker 1: or you've been through it, I mean even just being
1:24
Speaker 1: like a woman in this world. It's not an easy
1:30
Speaker 1: easy watch. Um. And we are going to talk about
1:33
Speaker 1: some of this stuff, and I think, um, I'm going
1:36
Speaker 1: to share some personal stuff, but it's not like I
1:39
Speaker 1: don't think we're gonna get like two and dope. But yeah,
1:42
Speaker 1: it is a rough one you're speaking of. You can
1:46
Speaker 1: see our Rape Revenge episodes for more about this. UM.
1:53
Speaker 1: And yeah, a lot of listeners did request this one,
1:57
Speaker 1: so we do take your requests. We have a list.
2:00
Speaker 1: Don't never fear, never fear, I'm met at you, though
2:05
Speaker 1: I did want to throw in. I watched she said
2:09
Speaker 1: he was not currently a sponsor, but was a sponsor
2:11
Speaker 1: at one time. UM, and it felt very much in
2:15
Speaker 1: the same vibe. I would say it had more of
2:18
Speaker 1: a like potentially hopeful ending, but it was Oh, I
2:24
Speaker 1: think that would be more intense for me because it's
2:26
Speaker 1: actually based on a true true events so and of
2:30
Speaker 1: course it also has Carrie Mulligan U starring in that one.
2:35
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think I haven't watched that. I have
2:38
Speaker 1: to gear up to watch things like this for myself.
2:40
Speaker 1: And I will say at the very front after watching
2:43
Speaker 1: Promising Young Woman, and he did give me kind of
2:46
Speaker 1: a heads up because that's what I need. This is
2:49
Speaker 1: what I'm like, I do like spoilers for things like this.
2:52
Speaker 1: I still wasn't ready. I did not expect the ending.
2:54
Speaker 1: I had no idea, just heard that it was not
2:57
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It does wrap up, but it doesn't, which
2:59
Speaker 1: we're going talk about in a minute. But because it
3:03
Speaker 1: was like, put me in that funk, and I'm like,
3:04
Speaker 1: all right now, I'll watch Turning Red and the and
3:09
Speaker 1: I watched it back to back because I was like,
3:10
Speaker 1: I need this immediately, cleanse need to cleanse this mind
3:14
Speaker 1: right now. I love it. You've got to have those movies.
3:20
Speaker 1: You've got to have those entertainment things you can go to.
3:22
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, I'm in a not good place. I
3:24
Speaker 1: need to get pulled out. I need something else too.
3:27
Speaker 1: We did. We are going to spoil it. This is
3:28
Speaker 1: actually a fairly recent movie, even though it feels like
3:30
Speaker 1: it came out twenty years ago. Just because the pandemic,
3:33
Speaker 1: it kind of came out the end. I so, yeah,
3:36
Speaker 1: we are going to spoil it. But I knew how
3:38
Speaker 1: it ended. I had been spoiled on it. I did
3:42
Speaker 1: not realize it was going to be such a drawn out, yeah,
3:47
Speaker 1: brutal thing. But yeah, we will talk about it. But
3:52
Speaker 1: that was like I knew how it ended. It's still
3:55
Speaker 1: hurt it was still like, oh okay, yeah, alright, so
4:01
Speaker 1: let's get into star everybody. Yeah alright, so, um, Promising
4:05
Speaker 1: Young Woman is a I saw it called thriller. I
4:09
Speaker 1: guess that's what it would be called. Um it was,
4:12
Speaker 1: I mean yeah sure. Was co produced, written and directed
4:15
Speaker 1: by Emerald Finnel, who was with Killing Eve UM, featuring
4:19
Speaker 1: Carrie Mulligan as Cassie, Bo Burnham as Ryan, Clancy Brown
4:23
Speaker 1: as Cassie's dad, Stanley, Jennifer Coolidge as Cassie's mom, Susan
4:27
Speaker 1: Alison breas Madison Laverne Cox's gayle Knyie written as Dean Walker,
4:32
Speaker 1: with short appearances and cameos by Adam Brody, Christopher Mince
4:36
Speaker 1: plus Alfred Molina uncredited as that was I was kind
4:42
Speaker 1: of like, hmm, some big actor, why I know? And
4:48
Speaker 1: Molly Shannon as Nina's mom. It won Best Original Screenplay
4:53
Speaker 1: at the ninety three Oscars, and it was nominated in
4:56
Speaker 1: several of the categories, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best
4:59
Speaker 1: Act Ris for Carrie Mulligan, and Best Editing, and the
5:02
Speaker 1: screenplay won several other awards UM and it was generally
5:07
Speaker 1: highly reviewed. Right So the film follows Cassie a traumatized
5:12
Speaker 1: woman who dropped out of med school after her best
5:15
Speaker 1: friend Nina Fisher, killed herself after being raped. The school
5:19
Speaker 1: never investigated, though it was widely believed fellow student Al
5:23
Speaker 1: Monroe was her assaulter. Um Cassie now lives with her
5:29
Speaker 1: worried parents, works at a coffee shop with a friend
5:32
Speaker 1: Gail and owner I think, And at night she goes
5:35
Speaker 1: to bars and clubs where this is how it begins.
5:38
Speaker 1: She pretends to be drunk to meet the nice guys.
5:41
Speaker 1: And we should put in here the nice guys are
5:44
Speaker 1: played by who would is truly seen as nice guys
5:48
Speaker 1: in the acting world. They I know she did this
5:50
Speaker 1: on purpose by pulling beloved actors, it would be seen
5:54
Speaker 1: as nice guys or at least like because the guy
5:59
Speaker 1: yeah MC even maybe he wouldn't be the nice guy
6:02
Speaker 1: because we've seen him play that other role, but definitely
6:04
Speaker 1: not threatening yeah type of guy. Uh. And these nice
6:09
Speaker 1: guys rescue her by taking her home and trying to
6:12
Speaker 1: have sex with her. And again when they rescue, the
6:15
Speaker 1: initial is like they're trying to protect from all of
6:18
Speaker 1: the other fiends. I got you, I got you, You're safe,
6:20
Speaker 1: which they say a lot. Um despite the fact she's
6:24
Speaker 1: clearly in abriated and I cannot consent, but on top
6:28
Speaker 1: of that, gives clear messaging she does not want to
6:31
Speaker 1: have sex, is confused, is not there? Um. Then she
6:35
Speaker 1: reveals she's actually sober and confronts them. I thought it
6:38
Speaker 1: was actually going to go a step further and that
6:40
Speaker 1: she would come to happen. So no, no, she would
6:44
Speaker 1: just kind of be like, oh, I'm totally sober, and
6:47
Speaker 1: they would be terrified, my god, shocked that they just
6:52
Speaker 1: got discovered for their intent. Yes, yes, es, yes, So
6:56
Speaker 1: Cassie goes on a date with a past classmate named Ryan,
6:59
Speaker 1: who was pediatrician. Um doesn't understand why Cassie dropped out,
7:03
Speaker 1: kind of questions are about it. He reveals that al Uh,
7:08
Speaker 1: the student who is believed to have raped Nina, is
7:10
Speaker 1: getting married, and Cassie starts plotting revenge against him and
7:16
Speaker 1: all of those involved in Nina's rape. So first she
7:19
Speaker 1: meets up with Um, a one time friend of Cassie Nina's, Madison.
7:24
Speaker 1: Cassie gets Madison day drunk and Madison continues to maintain
7:28
Speaker 1: that Nina wasn't raped, that she was a slut who
7:31
Speaker 1: was drunk half the time basically so sort of be
7:33
Speaker 1: able like blaming the victim it was her fault. Um.
7:36
Speaker 1: Cassie hires a man to take a blackout drunk Madison
7:40
Speaker 1: to a hotel room. Madison can't remember what happens, and
7:44
Speaker 1: she leaves these upset several upset messages on Cassie's phone
7:48
Speaker 1: that Cassie ignores. Her next target is Dean Walker. Walker
7:53
Speaker 1: had dismissed the case Nina's case due to lack of evidence,
7:57
Speaker 1: and while she remembers Al, doesn't remember Nina and calls
8:00
Speaker 1: the whole thing unfortunate. Cassie tells the Dean she had
8:05
Speaker 1: tricked the Dean's daughter, Amber into thinking that Cassie was
8:09
Speaker 1: a makeup artist for this popular band that Amber really likes,
8:11
Speaker 1: and she had dropped Amber off in a dorm room
8:14
Speaker 1: with drunk male students and panicking. The Dean tries to
8:18
Speaker 1: call Amber, but Cassie has Amber shone. The Dean apologizes
8:23
Speaker 1: for not taking any action with Nina, and Cassie reveals
8:26
Speaker 1: she lied in the Amber is safe in a diner
8:29
Speaker 1: m HM. So while out hunting sleazy men that night,
8:33
Speaker 1: and by the way, at the beginning, we see a
8:35
Speaker 1: small notebook where she talies scores of getting after these
8:39
Speaker 1: men and puts names down so and she calls it
8:43
Speaker 1: a job as well, I'm doing this. By the way,
8:45
Speaker 1: she runs into Ryan, which while she's pretending to be
8:48
Speaker 1: drunk leaving with a dude, and he gets angry with her.
8:51
Speaker 1: They have a moment and they kind of split. And
8:55
Speaker 1: he also plays the good guy here, saying he's a
8:57
Speaker 1: creep the dude who trying to take her home, by
8:59
Speaker 1: the way. Later Cassie goes to confront Owl's lawyer, Jordan Greene,
9:04
Speaker 1: who got Nina to drop the charges after essentially harassing,
9:09
Speaker 1: And here he describes how the firm just pretty much
9:13
Speaker 1: and how lawyers are taught how to dig through social
9:17
Speaker 1: media used to be trash um to find revealing clothes,
9:21
Speaker 1: drunk pictures, uh, and anything to discredit them and call
9:24
Speaker 1: them a slut and making sure that they are so
9:28
Speaker 1: ashamed that they will back off suits and back off
9:31
Speaker 1: cases and that they get money for that. Um. It's
9:35
Speaker 1: really ugly and it's very telling. Yeah, he says he
9:38
Speaker 1: regrets his action. Um, and it's taking him a break
9:41
Speaker 1: from practicing law because of a nervous breakdown. Something happened
9:45
Speaker 1: and and part of that was the Nina case because
9:48
Speaker 1: he remembered her clearly, he remembered what happened, and he
9:51
Speaker 1: knew that she had died by suicide, so there was
9:53
Speaker 1: a lot to this and he pretty much asked Cassie
9:55
Speaker 1: to hurt him, like I want you to I need
9:57
Speaker 1: to pay for this, and instead Cassie forgives him um,
10:02
Speaker 1: which is something. But to remember, she visits a Nina's
10:06
Speaker 1: mom who begs her to let it go and move on.
10:11
Speaker 1: A lot of these things were unsettling, and I know
10:13
Speaker 1: it was on purpose, and this was one of the
10:15
Speaker 1: unsettling moments to me. Even though it's supposed to be
10:17
Speaker 1: kind of like a comfort, it really wasn't. Um. The
10:20
Speaker 1: dismissiveness of even her mom. You don't want the victim's
10:23
Speaker 1: mom to be down and like being haunted by it,
10:26
Speaker 1: but it also seemed callous at the same time, I
10:27
Speaker 1: don't I don't know um Again, to me, it was
10:30
Speaker 1: unsettling UM. But she gets tries to get her to
10:35
Speaker 1: let go. This is kind of the moment that you
10:36
Speaker 1: see her I think, trying to change her mind. Maybe
10:39
Speaker 1: this is not a good idea for her plot. She
10:42
Speaker 1: goes to Ryan and apologizes and they start this wonderful relationship,
10:47
Speaker 1: both telling each other that they are in love. Um.
10:50
Speaker 1: She even brings him home to meet the parents, having
10:52
Speaker 1: awkward parent moments. Everything looks good. Mm hmmm uh. Madison,
11:00
Speaker 1: still unable to get ahold of Cassie, shows up at
11:02
Speaker 1: her house desperate to know what happened. After their lunch,
11:05
Speaker 1: Cassie informs her that nothing happened. Um. Basically, she like
11:09
Speaker 1: paid this guy to take her to a hotel room
11:12
Speaker 1: and just like leave her there. Uh. Madison gives Cassie
11:17
Speaker 1: this old phone that contains a video with Nina's rape
11:21
Speaker 1: on it, explaining that it got passed around as kind
11:23
Speaker 1: of a joke, like everyone had seen it. I thought
11:25
Speaker 1: you had seen it. Um. She urges Cassie not to
11:28
Speaker 1: watch it and tells her to never contact her again. Um.
11:33
Speaker 1: Cassie watches the video and it shows Out raping Mina
11:36
Speaker 1: with a bunch of bystanders, including Ryan, her boyfriend, laughing.
11:43
Speaker 1: So she confronts him, warning him she'll release the video
11:46
Speaker 1: if he doesn't tell her where Al is having his
11:49
Speaker 1: bachelor party. He relents and begs for forgiveness, but she
11:53
Speaker 1: does not give it to him. She arrives at the
11:56
Speaker 1: bachelor party dress as a stripper. She drugs Al's friends
12:00
Speaker 1: and then takes Al to the bedroom, covering him to
12:02
Speaker 1: the bed and introducing herself as Nina Fisher. And this
12:05
Speaker 1: freaks out out and he starts trying to escape, saying
12:08
Speaker 1: that Nina is dead. And this is actually the first
12:10
Speaker 1: time it's confirmed to the audience, even though I'm pretty
12:14
Speaker 1: sure the whole time, you're kind of like, yeah, I'm
12:15
Speaker 1: pretty I think I know what happened. Um, but it's
12:18
Speaker 1: the first time it's confirmed. She begins to carve Nina's
12:22
Speaker 1: name onto his stomach that Al escapes and suffocates her
12:26
Speaker 1: with a pillow. Um. When his friend discovers him the
12:29
Speaker 1: next morning, they burn Cassie's body, right, and yeah, this
12:34
Speaker 1: is the part of like, what what what's happening? I
12:37
Speaker 1: was not ready And also throughout this, every time she
12:40
Speaker 1: confronts somebody, including Madison, they keep saying, we were kids,
12:46
Speaker 1: we were kids, we were just playing, um, which we've
12:49
Speaker 1: heard of that statement, and I'm pretty sure again it
12:52
Speaker 1: was in relation to the Kavanaugh case mh and after
13:07
Speaker 1: Cassie's parents filed a missing person's report, which they did
13:11
Speaker 1: it in a way that seemed like she might just
13:13
Speaker 1: have run away except for the mom um and and
13:17
Speaker 1: along with that, the police think, Okay, she's just having
13:20
Speaker 1: a bad time, so they all chalk it up to
13:22
Speaker 1: her mental health. Um. And Ryan, who was confronted, also agrees.
13:30
Speaker 1: Because the nice guy, even though he knows something bad
13:33
Speaker 1: probably has happened because he knows where she went, He's like, oh, yeah, yeah,
13:37
Speaker 1: she was mentally off. She was not doing well because
13:40
Speaker 1: he wanted it to go away. So the nice guy,
13:43
Speaker 1: once again, it's all about him saving his own ass.
13:46
Speaker 1: So we come to Al's wedding to this gorgeous woman
13:49
Speaker 1: who he keeps saying he loves. Please don't tell. Uh.
13:53
Speaker 1: We suddenly see Ryan getting a text message from Cassie.
13:57
Speaker 1: During this point, I had to ask my partner. I
13:59
Speaker 1: was like, wait, can you send schedule messages? I didn't
14:02
Speaker 1: know that was the thing. Yeah, So he had to
14:07
Speaker 1: show me how to do that, y'all in the middle,
14:09
Speaker 1: like right after the movie, because I was like, what, wait,
14:11
Speaker 1: you can now learning every day? I know something new
14:16
Speaker 1: every day. Um. And it reveals that she had a
14:19
Speaker 1: contingency plan in place in case of her death. She
14:23
Speaker 1: actually sends the phone with Nina's rape to the lawyer
14:26
Speaker 1: with details about where she was going, if she went missing,
14:30
Speaker 1: and who did it. She leaves a half heart necklace,
14:34
Speaker 1: you know, the best friends necklace? Did you have one
14:35
Speaker 1: of those? I had one of those with her name
14:38
Speaker 1: on it where Gail would find it, the owner of
14:40
Speaker 1: the coffee shop. The police find the other half with
14:43
Speaker 1: Nina's name on it where she was burned. Because it's
14:45
Speaker 1: all ashes um and then police arrest al at his
14:50
Speaker 1: wedding and Um Cassie's final texta Ryan is signed from
14:54
Speaker 1: her and Nina beat dubs. Max Greenfield from New Girl
14:58
Speaker 1: is in it. He's the one that's kind have been
15:01
Speaker 1: the catalyst. He was the one that was filming apparently
15:04
Speaker 1: the great Um. He's the one that helped to call
15:07
Speaker 1: her a liar and then he helped cover up this murder. Yeah,
15:13
Speaker 1: he was not. I mean most of them in all
15:15
Speaker 1: the men, most of the bid in this, but he
15:20
Speaker 1: was like one of the ones I was like, oh
15:21
Speaker 1: I cannot stand Yeah. He was purposely that frat boy
15:25
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to hate. UM. And the whole premise
15:29
Speaker 1: was that they all went to college together. This all
15:31
Speaker 1: happened in college Uh, Nina went by herself to this party,
15:37
Speaker 1: and that's why Cassie feels so guilty. This is why
15:40
Speaker 1: she apologized her to Nina's mom for and Cassie dropped
15:43
Speaker 1: out of med school and apparently she was at the
15:45
Speaker 1: top of the class, so it was Nina and they
15:47
Speaker 1: both dropped out because of that trauma. Yeah, and that's
15:51
Speaker 1: like where the title comes from, is the promising young
15:54
Speaker 1: woman they dropped out and like the dean didn't even
15:58
Speaker 1: remember the one of them. Yeah, but the men, we've
16:03
Speaker 1: heard that before, Like the promising young man. We can't
16:05
Speaker 1: ruin his life, we can't. He's going to be there kids, Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly,
16:11
Speaker 1: Like but he's so good at X y Z, like
16:14
Speaker 1: we why would we? Why would we punish? And he's
16:18
Speaker 1: got so much promise and the accusations comes all the time.
16:23
Speaker 1: None of them really turned out to be anything, which
16:26
Speaker 1: is very untrue, very very untrue, and that that was
16:29
Speaker 1: one of the Like, I there's so much about this
16:33
Speaker 1: that hurts because you've seen it, especially like we've had
16:38
Speaker 1: these conversations play out and I like our huge news stories,
16:43
Speaker 1: but when it comes to college campuses, like it's just
16:46
Speaker 1: sort of a thing that is like maybe not accepted,
16:53
Speaker 1: but it almost accepted, like yeah, you know, probably you
16:56
Speaker 1: should be shouldn't wear this, you shouldn't go out this
16:59
Speaker 1: late at night, shouldn't drink like because this could happen.
17:02
Speaker 1: Like that's how much we all like no, but don't
17:06
Speaker 1: really talk about that this happens. But that's also permanently
17:12
Speaker 1: branded into most women's minds is this could happen, This
17:18
Speaker 1: did happen, and this is the things that told me
17:20
Speaker 1: I shouldn't do and I did it, and it's my fault.
17:23
Speaker 1: And that's how that uh begins. And oftentimes, because we're
17:28
Speaker 1: already culturally brainwashed by that that we are, we believe
17:35
Speaker 1: in accept it and instead of understanding, this was not
17:38
Speaker 1: my fault, this is not our fault, this is not
17:40
Speaker 1: her fault. Nothing should have that type of consequence. And
17:43
Speaker 1: nothing that I do that makes myself happy, whether I
17:45
Speaker 1: do dress the way I want to that day because
17:47
Speaker 1: I feel good about myself, or the way if I
17:50
Speaker 1: want to go out to a party because I actually
17:52
Speaker 1: want to socialize, should not be equal to someone violating me.
17:56
Speaker 1: And that's that conversation. Instead of hearing that, we believe
17:59
Speaker 1: it is because people told us that makes sense, right, right,
18:07
Speaker 1: And and it's just when we did our our episodes
18:13
Speaker 1: on like rape revenge movies, and I watched a bunch
18:15
Speaker 1: of them, probably ill advised, but one of the ones
18:18
Speaker 1: that stuck with me was like they had videos of
18:21
Speaker 1: what had happened, They had videos of the sexual assault,
18:25
Speaker 1: and it didn't matter, Like in the end, still no
18:30
Speaker 1: justice was had. So that's what I was trying to
18:32
Speaker 1: explain to you. And I was like, it's really really blake.
18:34
Speaker 1: There was kind of like ends but I couldn't help
18:39
Speaker 1: but thinking like sure they got this video, but they'd
18:41
Speaker 1: all seen it and passed around and thought it was
18:43
Speaker 1: a joke and thought it was funny. Like should probably
18:46
Speaker 1: still don't get any just right, weirdly enough, side point,
18:52
Speaker 1: I used to love Friday Night Lights as a show,
18:55
Speaker 1: which is kind of she plays a school counselor if
18:59
Speaker 1: none of you know, because this maybe before your time,
19:01
Speaker 1: and that's fine, it doesn't it didn't age well, don't
19:03
Speaker 1: watch it. But um, one of the episodes that was
19:08
Speaker 1: one of the most disturbing episodes for me, and it
19:10
Speaker 1: involved Connie Britten. And again, she did not write this.
19:15
Speaker 1: I'm not saying she at all I'm just saying that
19:17
Speaker 1: she was involved in the acting the way they wrote
19:19
Speaker 1: the script. There was an episode and they're trying to
19:22
Speaker 1: talk about drunk drunkenness or whatever. A young cheerleader girl
19:25
Speaker 1: gets really, really drunk, so drunk that they used her
19:28
Speaker 1: as a puppet essentially like making fun of her and
19:30
Speaker 1: have videos and it's just all around. And her reaction
19:36
Speaker 1: as a counselor is to bring that girl in and
19:38
Speaker 1: yell at her about why would you do this? Do
19:40
Speaker 1: you know? Are you not ashamed? Did you learn a lesson?
19:43
Speaker 1: It could have gotten worse, and it was one of
19:45
Speaker 1: the most disturbing moments of like what And of course
19:49
Speaker 1: the boys did get in trouble because the football coach
19:52
Speaker 1: suspended them, so of course they looked like heroes at
19:55
Speaker 1: that level. But still to do that was like not
19:57
Speaker 1: that she didn't need to talk to be talked to,
20:00
Speaker 1: She needed to be like, hey, are you okay? We
20:02
Speaker 1: want to make sure okay this is happening, be aware,
20:04
Speaker 1: blah blah, and yeah, that's a conversation about responsibility for sure,
20:08
Speaker 1: that that's not a thing. And also drinking at a
20:10
Speaker 1: young age, Hello, that's the whole different in high school
20:13
Speaker 1: which was so odd, but like that was one of
20:17
Speaker 1: the episodes that really bothered me, Like every time when
20:20
Speaker 1: I watched the scene with Connie Britton in this movie,
20:23
Speaker 1: that's all I could see and I was like, yeah,
20:26
Speaker 1: this is not voting well for her. No, no, And
20:32
Speaker 1: I did read an article about how Carrie Mulligan's character
20:37
Speaker 1: Castie essentially like cannot forget, cannot forgive, is so like angry,
20:44
Speaker 1: like you have so many scenes of her, like if
20:46
Speaker 1: you're just going to ignore what's happening in this world,
20:49
Speaker 1: I don't know why I should submit to this world anymore,
20:51
Speaker 1: like this is but but how the women, like we
20:55
Speaker 1: have all these nice guys who are absolutely asked, but
20:59
Speaker 1: the women also like Madison and Connie Britton's character Dean
21:02
Speaker 1: Walker um not supporting other women, and like we've Dean
21:07
Speaker 1: Walker uses that thing that we've heard so much of,
21:10
Speaker 1: like because at first she's like, oh, Nina, that's unfortunate,
21:13
Speaker 1: but al was so successful and like I didn't there's
21:16
Speaker 1: no proof, like too bad. And then when she thinks
21:20
Speaker 1: her daughter is in danger, that's when she's like panicking
21:24
Speaker 1: like oh my gosh, Like it goes from like oh,
21:28
Speaker 1: that's so unfortunate to this is impacting her directly. And
21:31
Speaker 1: that's something we hear a lot in these conversations is
21:33
Speaker 1: when like, well, I have a wife, or I have
21:35
Speaker 1: a daughter, or I have a mother, and it makes
21:38
Speaker 1: me so frustrated because it's like, you can't outside of that,
21:43
Speaker 1: you can't care for anybody outside of that. Well not
21:47
Speaker 1: that was it. Like again, that was also the character
21:49
Speaker 1: of Madison putting her in that situation, which, by the way,
21:52
Speaker 1: I thought that was one of the most disturbing scenes
21:54
Speaker 1: because of I was like, why would she do this?
21:56
Speaker 1: She actually setting this woman up to be raped? Oh
21:58
Speaker 1: my god? It did she just hire someone to nowhere?
22:02
Speaker 1: Because every time I ever think when a case happens,
22:05
Speaker 1: we've seen judges do the wrong decisions, we've seen lawyers
22:08
Speaker 1: defending and all these things, and people have written and
22:12
Speaker 1: something like what if this happens to your daughter, I'm like,
22:14
Speaker 1: I would never want to wish that, not even on
22:17
Speaker 1: my worst enemy, because that is not something to want
22:20
Speaker 1: to do that. And most of the people are like,
22:22
Speaker 1: I hope it never happens to you. But it's kind
22:23
Speaker 1: of a very thinly veiled threat um in defense of others.
22:28
Speaker 1: And that was kind of one of those moments, and
22:30
Speaker 1: I was like, this is what is like. I was
22:32
Speaker 1: getting anxious and angry and upset by that in itself,
22:37
Speaker 1: and I had a moment of like, please don't do this,
22:38
Speaker 1: Please don't. This is not what even teaching a lesson.
22:43
Speaker 1: But again, until the conversation was until she was put
22:48
Speaker 1: into that position, she could not have empathy even today
22:53
Speaker 1: for someone who had died due to the situation. Yeah,
23:00
Speaker 1: it could not see it until she was in that point.
23:02
Speaker 1: And back to the Connie Britton moment. It literally all
23:06
Speaker 1: all Cassie had to say was I left your daughter
23:10
Speaker 1: with this in the same room that the boys are
23:12
Speaker 1: staying where it used to live with a bunch of boys,
23:16
Speaker 1: and there seems to be a lot of liquor there,
23:17
Speaker 1: so good luck. That's all she said. And the dean
23:21
Speaker 1: knew immediately what could happen to her daughter. So that
23:25
Speaker 1: was all the implications, which, by the way, that also
23:27
Speaker 1: was a disturbing scening. I was very upset. I do
23:30
Speaker 1: not love movies that go after other women in general,
23:37
Speaker 1: setting up the daughter to be a victim, her calling
23:40
Speaker 1: her stupid. I know that this is just a movie.
23:43
Speaker 1: And they had different ways of doing this. And I
23:45
Speaker 1: also know that Cassie wasn't supposed to be a hero.
23:48
Speaker 1: You're not you're not supposed to like her, um, But
23:51
Speaker 1: it bothered me to see that that. There's a lot
23:53
Speaker 1: of like back and forth about this movie. I was
23:55
Speaker 1: very hesitant in this movie in general, but like I
23:58
Speaker 1: get it, it's very heavy ended. Um, as a person
24:01
Speaker 1: who has gone to trauma, you and myself is a
24:04
Speaker 1: lot to take in. Even talking about it makes me
24:06
Speaker 1: little anxious. Um, there's a lot to take in. But
24:09
Speaker 1: seeing that too ad was an added ouch. Not that's
24:12
Speaker 1: not reality, not that it can't happen, It just was like,
24:15
Speaker 1: do we really have to take that extra step though
24:17
Speaker 1: of like calling a young girl stupid? And I'm sure
24:21
Speaker 1: it was an added dig because that was said about Nina.
24:25
Speaker 1: She was dumb forgo doing this. Yeah, yeah, I mean
24:28
Speaker 1: that's like a lot of the things I read were
24:30
Speaker 1: you know, she's just so by what happened. She's so
24:36
Speaker 1: traumatized and so angry that everyone is telling her to
24:38
Speaker 1: move on and she can't move on and it is
24:42
Speaker 1: impacting her. Like you see, like pretty much every person
24:45
Speaker 1: in her life is worried about Cassie, right, it's that
24:49
Speaker 1: this is not healthy what you are doing. And they
24:51
Speaker 1: don't even know about like her nighttime right, like your job,
24:58
Speaker 1: So it's not it's not healthy and people are worried
25:02
Speaker 1: about her, and I think she just like lashes out
25:08
Speaker 1: and it's so full of anger about it. Yeah, and
25:15
Speaker 1: it is like it's heavy handed, but it's also like unfortunate.
25:19
Speaker 1: How often I was like, yeah, I've heard this before.
25:22
Speaker 1: It starts pretty like punches flying with these like three
25:27
Speaker 1: guys on a bar, right, who are like see Cassie
25:32
Speaker 1: who's acting very very drunk and talking like amongst themselves
25:37
Speaker 1: like boy talk, like you know, they put themselves in danger.
25:40
Speaker 1: She's kind of hot just asking for it, like having
25:45
Speaker 1: this conversation right, well, you know, I would go a
25:48
Speaker 1: step further the intro with the dancing. You're immediately uncomfortable
25:52
Speaker 1: because the dancing was interesting us. I don't know if
26:01
Speaker 1: the choreographer was like, just do some gyrating silly moves
26:04
Speaker 1: that makes women uncomfortable and go for it. And that's
26:08
Speaker 1: the focus that we see. We see average men, uh,
26:11
Speaker 1: trying to be sexy or funny in their drunken state,
26:15
Speaker 1: um and automatically and definitely put me back to oh yeah,
26:18
Speaker 1: have seen that and it may be uncomfortable made walk away. Um,
26:21
Speaker 1: you get that from the shots from the angles. Immediately
26:26
Speaker 1: that's where you come into to the three guys uh
26:28
Speaker 1: talking and Brodie being the nice guy trying to rescue
26:32
Speaker 1: her away from these two my co workers. And it
26:36
Speaker 1: even begins to have the conversation about a woman who
26:39
Speaker 1: had told them a concern about the meetings and how
26:42
Speaker 1: it's going, and all of them saying she's just overreacting.
26:44
Speaker 1: She just needs to keep up. Like it jumps into
26:47
Speaker 1: how they already dismissed women in the workplace, except for
26:51
Speaker 1: Adrian Body, who's like, oh, maybe we should talk to
26:54
Speaker 1: I'm going to be the good guy. We should She's
26:57
Speaker 1: not wrong, we should defend her, like trying to overplay
27:00
Speaker 1: that character. This movie was coming after a lot of people.
27:04
Speaker 1: I was definitely nice guys. You did not come out
27:08
Speaker 1: looking good on the other side. Kind of pretty quickly,
27:12
Speaker 1: as you said, the casting was purposeful about Hollywood nice guys.
27:17
Speaker 1: But yeah, like that whole like, oh, I'm going to
27:19
Speaker 1: save her, and then so quickly Brodie's character was like,
27:24
Speaker 1: what would you like to come to my apartment? Very
27:30
Speaker 1: very quickly from like oh, I'm going to rescue you
27:32
Speaker 1: and heavy quotes to actually my apartments right here would
27:37
Speaker 1: you like to come up? And then more drinks when
27:42
Speaker 1: she's like acting so wasted um, and then trying to
27:48
Speaker 1: have sex with her when she clearly cannot consent. I
28:04
Speaker 1: also think that there are certain things that I I'm
28:08
Speaker 1: always like I might be just projecting my own stuff
28:12
Speaker 1: on this, but I feel like her whole relationship with
28:15
Speaker 1: Ryan um who. I don't know how you felt, Samantha,
28:19
Speaker 1: but I was immediately like, this is not gonna end. Well,
28:21
Speaker 1: I don't know why how this guy is not good either.
28:24
Speaker 1: I didn't predict that he was going to be in
28:26
Speaker 1: the video. He was a part of it. When she
28:29
Speaker 1: fought out the video, I was like, oh no, uh huh.
28:32
Speaker 1: But like the friendships, that idea that like these friendships
28:36
Speaker 1: are always like like meant to be something else, that
28:38
Speaker 1: he always just wanted to date her, And like I said,
28:41
Speaker 1: I believe in platonic like relationships with different genders. But
28:44
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of times when we see
28:46
Speaker 1: this it does feel this way. I've had that experience
28:48
Speaker 1: a lot, so I thought that was interesting. Uh yeah,
28:54
Speaker 1: that whole conversation about not wanting to ruin this nice
28:57
Speaker 1: guy's life. So many of them, like you said, they
29:00
Speaker 1: had all of these excuses. When they were caught, they
29:02
Speaker 1: were like, oh, well, but I'm a nice I think
29:06
Speaker 1: even one of them said that, but I'm a nice guy.
29:08
Speaker 1: I'm a nice guy. Yeah. The dude who was trying
29:11
Speaker 1: to get her to do coke, yes, yes, I just
29:15
Speaker 1: called mccleve and I know that's not his name. Yes,
29:19
Speaker 1: so tho was one of other things, like the ending
29:22
Speaker 1: when she like slowly get suffocated. Um. The next day,
29:28
Speaker 1: al who suffocated her was like it was an accident.
29:30
Speaker 1: I was like, are you kidding me? You for so long.
29:36
Speaker 1: At the same time he's saying, you did this. This
29:37
Speaker 1: is your fault, which stop, stop breathing, stop moving, You
29:41
Speaker 1: got this, So that's not an accident. No, and it's
29:45
Speaker 1: like this was That was the part. I was like,
29:47
Speaker 1: I knew she was going to die. I did not
29:49
Speaker 1: know it was gonna be so long, and like, that
29:52
Speaker 1: is not an accident. No, no. And then also the
29:56
Speaker 1: burning scene with her hands sticking out. I was like,
29:58
Speaker 1: that's okay, I guess that's just verify as you're seeing
30:01
Speaker 1: what you're seeing level and that the callousness of that
30:07
Speaker 1: because they were so ready to just throw her away
30:10
Speaker 1: and cover it up right, that she mattered so little
30:15
Speaker 1: as a human in general, and that was the obviously
30:18
Speaker 1: the intent m h. Of that story, and that her
30:23
Speaker 1: she kind of expected it was the other part to that. Yeah,
30:30
Speaker 1: it's disturbing. Um. There was a lot of like especially
30:35
Speaker 1: with Madison, because Madison was sort of here of the
30:39
Speaker 1: because they were Madison, Nina and Cassie were friends. Madison
30:45
Speaker 1: saw this video was the one who is ready to
30:47
Speaker 1: be like you know, she was sleeping around, she was
30:49
Speaker 1: getting drunk, like no one's gonna believe you. She had twins.
30:52
Speaker 1: She was always talking about them. She makes this like
30:56
Speaker 1: joke to Cassie like, oh, you don't have kids, you'll
30:58
Speaker 1: get there. Like this whole like one day you'll move
31:01
Speaker 1: on and you'll be, you know happy is like me
31:04
Speaker 1: because this is what happiness looks like. Um. So there
31:07
Speaker 1: was a lot of stuff like that. I did take
31:10
Speaker 1: note of the whole like ladies Nights, uh, pouring Cassie
31:14
Speaker 1: a huge drink when she's already drunk. I have always
31:17
Speaker 1: felt wary of that. That whole idea to me is
31:21
Speaker 1: like it's basically like you're trying to get more women
31:24
Speaker 1: into a place, get them drunk so men can pick
31:27
Speaker 1: them up, right, and that brings them in in though
31:30
Speaker 1: that is a ploy to bring men. They don't have
31:33
Speaker 1: problems bring them in like that's I think I sitcom joke.
31:37
Speaker 1: In order to get men into a bar, you bring
31:39
Speaker 1: more women. Um, and the only way the way to
31:42
Speaker 1: get women is to give them drinks are free, free things,
31:45
Speaker 1: free admission. The same thing with clubs. They do free
31:48
Speaker 1: admission for women that like they had that until twelve
31:52
Speaker 1: am free for women like that's and I went to
31:55
Speaker 1: a couple of those clubs before when I was young,
31:57
Speaker 1: and it exactly is a hunting ground essentially for predatory men.
32:02
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, um. I went to one once where it
32:07
Speaker 1: was like women four drinks free and it was like
32:10
Speaker 1: four drinks, four drinks, but it was throughout the movie
32:16
Speaker 1: of like using alcohol as a weapon. And like obviously
32:19
Speaker 1: Cassie's whole thing is she pretends to be drunk to
32:22
Speaker 1: see what like these nice guys, well we'll pick her up.
32:27
Speaker 1: I did. I went to a ladies night in Hong
32:29
Speaker 1: Kong and I definitely got something was put in my
32:32
Speaker 1: drink and I was I was hospitalized. Yeah, I know that. Yeah,
32:41
Speaker 1: it's it's it hits so quickly, like he I went
32:46
Speaker 1: from being fine to very much not fine within like
32:51
Speaker 1: an hour. Um yeah yeah. And it's just frightening because
32:56
Speaker 1: it's sort of the like we were talking about, like
33:00
Speaker 1: that's just a threat that you face being out, out
33:05
Speaker 1: and about in the world. And I definitely had like
33:10
Speaker 1: because you keep seeing these instances of them trying to
33:13
Speaker 1: have sex with her when she is, you know, supposed
33:16
Speaker 1: to be looks very very drunk, like very very drunk.
33:20
Speaker 1: And I remember once this guy I threw up all
33:22
Speaker 1: over him and he was still like, I still want
33:23
Speaker 1: to have sex. I was like, no, I'm good, I'll
33:29
Speaker 1: be leaving now, thank you. Yeah yeah um. And then
33:36
Speaker 1: this is also like I don't know that this is true.
33:38
Speaker 1: I want to I want to stress this, but this
33:40
Speaker 1: is what the level we're talking about is. There was
33:44
Speaker 1: a rumor at the school that I went to that
33:48
Speaker 1: every year this fraternity and it was sort of like notorious,
33:52
Speaker 1: like that's the not safe one. Don't go to that one.
33:54
Speaker 1: They would choose a girl and get her really really
33:57
Speaker 1: drunk and then lock her in this Glass's trophy case
34:01
Speaker 1: and then the next morning like take pictures and video
34:03
Speaker 1: of her, and it was sort of like a thing
34:06
Speaker 1: like you don't want to be the trophy girl, but
34:09
Speaker 1: like that whole idea of because there's a lot of
34:13
Speaker 1: the guys in this kind of talk about it like
34:15
Speaker 1: a game or their laugh about it, and that that
34:18
Speaker 1: was just like a real thing. But we told each
34:20
Speaker 1: other on campus. I mean, I'm betting, I'm betting there's
34:24
Speaker 1: a basis to that for sure, if nothing else. I
34:28
Speaker 1: don't like recently, and it's a little different today when
34:33
Speaker 1: we talk about these cases kind of like the ones
34:37
Speaker 1: that happened for Tanina in this movie, we do see
34:42
Speaker 1: specific areas or rooms or as you talk, like fraternities
34:47
Speaker 1: who are known and have a reputation um as recently,
34:51
Speaker 1: like I've seen TikTok's of students take trying to do
34:54
Speaker 1: takedowns of specific fraternities because the school would not handle it.
34:57
Speaker 1: So therefore they would organize protests in front of these
35:00
Speaker 1: frats um and fraternity and it was It's interesting to
35:05
Speaker 1: see because I think I saw at least like two
35:07
Speaker 1: or three different schools where they talked about a specific
35:10
Speaker 1: organization a specific fraternity, UH fraternal order who was known
35:15
Speaker 1: for throwing parties where women were constantly date raped, and
35:19
Speaker 1: therefore they would stage protests um in front of it
35:24
Speaker 1: because that's all they could do and that was the
35:27
Speaker 1: only way they could get any kind of attention and
35:29
Speaker 1: justice for the victims. So it's we don't have much
35:33
Speaker 1: of that and play other than that's how Cassie stalking
35:38
Speaker 1: the individuals and their information. But like that's a newer
35:42
Speaker 1: thing that's having to come by to try to get justice. Recently,
35:48
Speaker 1: I just saw a tweet from a woman who was
35:52
Speaker 1: told her case may not make it into even though
35:55
Speaker 1: she did everything correctly. She immediately reported to the police,
35:58
Speaker 1: she immediately give evidence, she immediately got an exam all
36:02
Speaker 1: the things, and because of that, she went to Twitter
36:06
Speaker 1: and she just named the names and went all the
36:09
Speaker 1: way down um, and it brought up a huge like
36:13
Speaker 1: why are you telling us? Why aren't you going to
36:14
Speaker 1: the police. And then she's like, I did, but nothing
36:17
Speaker 1: is happening. So here you go, and I want you
36:19
Speaker 1: to know who this is and i want you to
36:21
Speaker 1: know what happened to me. And I'm not gonna sit this.
36:23
Speaker 1: I'll tell you how it's ruining my life and it's
36:25
Speaker 1: currently ruining my life. Um, and I find it fascinating today,
36:29
Speaker 1: like as we were talking about how big of a
36:31
Speaker 1: change social media has made, whether it's good or bad,
36:36
Speaker 1: but it has because women are starting to with the
36:39
Speaker 1: me too movement, which is she said, it's starting to
36:42
Speaker 1: gather a courage from seeing others speak out. But I
36:48
Speaker 1: found that fascinating too, like the differences in this and
36:52
Speaker 1: whether or not they could have turned to that route
36:55
Speaker 1: about social media, which I thought would be what was
36:56
Speaker 1: going to happen about that tape, To be honest, I
36:58
Speaker 1: thought she was gonna post it. Yeah, yeah, and that's yeah.
37:04
Speaker 1: We've talked about that in the power of those movements
37:06
Speaker 1: on on social media and things like Twitter, where it's
37:10
Speaker 1: probably it's impacted to you whether you use it or not,
37:13
Speaker 1: but it is. It's just such a shame that that's
37:15
Speaker 1: like what it takes, and that that like because it's
37:19
Speaker 1: not easy to share that stuff. Yeah. I it's a huge,
37:28
Speaker 1: powerful movement, but I hate that it requires kind of
37:31
Speaker 1: just like, well, none of these other things have worked.
37:33
Speaker 1: So here's my story, um, and hopefully it will prevent
37:39
Speaker 1: prevent it from happening to you. At this place or
37:41
Speaker 1: or what have you. I mean that's the other part
37:44
Speaker 1: is that are naming names so women will be aware
37:46
Speaker 1: who did it. Yeah, yeah, Um, my favorite right now
37:52
Speaker 1: is them finding Brock Turner and blasting it every time
37:55
Speaker 1: he tries to go somewhere how he changed his name
37:58
Speaker 1: or changes their parents. Women are like, hey, Rock Turner
38:01
Speaker 1: is in this area, be aware. I love it there.
38:05
Speaker 1: This is that case and Brett Kavanell, we're definitely shining
38:09
Speaker 1: through the story and this one, I would say, Um,
38:12
Speaker 1: one of the lines that stuck out to me, and
38:14
Speaker 1: we've all we've heard variations of the sign was you know,
38:17
Speaker 1: it's every guy's worst nightmare getting accused like that, which
38:19
Speaker 1: is what Al says and Cassie says back, can you
38:22
Speaker 1: guess what every woman's worst nightmare is? But yeah, that
38:26
Speaker 1: that like very clear stark gender difference. I thought it
38:29
Speaker 1: was also pretty telling, as you were saying earlier, like
38:32
Speaker 1: when Dean Walker, immediately it's like, oh, this is dangerous.
38:36
Speaker 1: My daughter is in this room. There's alcoholin men, and
38:40
Speaker 1: Cassie has a comment about like, oh, she's safer than
38:43
Speaker 1: we were at your school, like your daughter is. But
38:46
Speaker 1: also the whole idea of yeah, like dropping out from
38:49
Speaker 1: med school after to his experience losing women in our
38:52
Speaker 1: workforce or whatever it is, or losing lives because of
38:56
Speaker 1: this trauma, because it's going ignored or even mocked, and
39:00
Speaker 1: then you know, like trying to paint the picture of
39:03
Speaker 1: who was lost, because so many times I feel like
39:05
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, well, another statistic sexual assault is bad,
39:09
Speaker 1: and we forget who the victim is and like our
39:10
Speaker 1: the survivor is. And you see that throughout this of
39:13
Speaker 1: Cassie trying to be like, remember Nina, Nina did this,
39:16
Speaker 1: and she was like this and she was this was
39:18
Speaker 1: so much and we've lost her because of this, So
39:23
Speaker 1: that was there. It's like, it's strange for me to
39:27
Speaker 1: say I did write down friendship because you know, Cassie
39:29
Speaker 1: and Nina were very close, but we never see their friendship.
39:31
Speaker 1: We just kind of hear about it, and we see
39:33
Speaker 1: what Cassie does in her name, I don't know. You
39:40
Speaker 1: also see that they've been together for so long and
39:43
Speaker 1: the guilt of her not being with Nina holds her
39:47
Speaker 1: like not only of course her death is going to
39:49
Speaker 1: affect her, but she blames herself for letting her be
39:52
Speaker 1: in that situation, or like not being with her to
39:55
Speaker 1: get her out of that situation. Mm hmmm. Yeah, it's
39:59
Speaker 1: like the kind of like ripple effects of those traumatic
40:02
Speaker 1: of its of how it impacts people in your life. Um,
40:06
Speaker 1: and I did wanna before we talk about the India
40:08
Speaker 1: real quick, I did want to bring up something else
40:09
Speaker 1: that I had forgotten about that you reminded me of.
40:11
Speaker 1: Was when Carrie Mulligan was cast. There was all this
40:14
Speaker 1: like backlash of oh, she's not hot enough for this role,
40:17
Speaker 1: right right. It was such an absurd conversation because they
40:20
Speaker 1: were like, someone like Margot Robbie, she's the one that
40:23
Speaker 1: should be doing this. And it was during this time
40:26
Speaker 1: I remember Carrie Mulligan came out and spoke out about
40:28
Speaker 1: it and had a whole article written about it because
40:31
Speaker 1: someone like articles were written that she was not pretty
40:34
Speaker 1: enough and she could not get away with this, which
40:36
Speaker 1: is a whole different conversation. I'm like, mm hmm, it
40:41
Speaker 1: doesn't take much to get men into these positions. And
40:46
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be gallas or I'm not trying
40:48
Speaker 1: to be insulting. It really is about a lot of
40:53
Speaker 1: a lot of the in this specific line of going
40:56
Speaker 1: to a club to meet a woman to go and
40:59
Speaker 1: spend the night with. I'm sorry, Like, I think it's
41:01
Speaker 1: just such a funny level of comparison, Like have you
41:06
Speaker 1: not known normal, not Hollywood women going home with people?
41:12
Speaker 1: But this also is the same damn narrative she wasn't
41:15
Speaker 1: pretty enough, why would she be raped? Kind of, but
41:21
Speaker 1: beside the point that Kay Mulligan is a Oscar winning
41:24
Speaker 1: Hollywood actress, gorgeous Hollywood actress who has played leading ladies
41:28
Speaker 1: for a while, So it's such an absurdity to me
41:33
Speaker 1: that they had to be like she has to be
41:35
Speaker 1: a blonde bombshell to play this character, which is just
41:39
Speaker 1: essentially taking men home while they're drunk, or being taken
41:42
Speaker 1: home by men who want to dunk inebriated, unconscious woman
41:46
Speaker 1: half the time for their physical purpose. Like it's just
41:50
Speaker 1: it's kind of like, what do you think this is?
41:53
Speaker 1: I don't understand. There's so many things in this narrative
41:57
Speaker 1: that is so insulting to every woman in general and
42:02
Speaker 1: also every victim in general that it just bems so
42:06
Speaker 1: ridiculous that that was the critique to this movie. Mm hmmm, Yeah,
42:14
Speaker 1: that is a disgusting, harmful narrative. Um, and we've talked
42:18
Speaker 1: about it before on the show, So Ryan check that out.
42:35
Speaker 1: And then yeah, just to briefly talk about the ending,
42:36
Speaker 1: because this was the big thing everybody kept kind of
42:38
Speaker 1: hinting at. For me, it was like, holy ending, it is.
42:42
Speaker 1: It's really rough. M I think this scene like how
42:47
Speaker 1: quickly Al and his friend to go from like oh,
42:51
Speaker 1: she's dead. Oh, this is not your fault. It's okay. Uh,
42:55
Speaker 1: let's just burn the body and no, everyone will forget
42:58
Speaker 1: about her. Yeah. He keeps saying always snicker fault. You're
43:01
Speaker 1: gonna be fine. And you know, Al thinks, oh, I'm
43:04
Speaker 1: going to have this happy life. I'm gonna get married.
43:07
Speaker 1: No one's gonna know about it, um, because he's counting on.
43:10
Speaker 1: Like nobody investigated with Nina, Um, it would investigate this person.
43:16
Speaker 1: And so it was kind of like, you know, it's
43:20
Speaker 1: still like a dark, grim ending. It was pretty satisfying
43:22
Speaker 1: that you get arrested at his wedding. I was hoping
43:24
Speaker 1: more people would get arrested, right. I also talked about
43:28
Speaker 1: the wedding ceremony of the white people doing that, and
43:35
Speaker 1: I know it was a joke and it was a
43:37
Speaker 1: play on I think it's a play on crunchy, theunchy
43:41
Speaker 1: crunchy movement. I don't know if you know what that is. Um,
43:44
Speaker 1: the TikTok level, that's what I how I know it.
43:46
Speaker 1: But I'm thinking that's what that is. The white women
43:52
Speaker 1: doing a drum session. All right, I know this was
43:57
Speaker 1: and it was like it was such a blak moment
43:58
Speaker 1: to laugh. What is happening? What is happening? Am I
44:01
Speaker 1: supposed to laugh here? Because I don't want to laugh
44:04
Speaker 1: right now? Um? But that's what we see. And and
44:09
Speaker 1: then she him getting arrested. And also I think there's
44:11
Speaker 1: also that conversation and maybe reading too much into it
44:15
Speaker 1: because when Al says the stripper is dead, he never
44:18
Speaker 1: says who she is, So Joe doesn't know who she is,
44:22
Speaker 1: and he's like, she's just a stripper. No one's going
44:23
Speaker 1: to know, right, not realizing who she was. And I
44:27
Speaker 1: don't know if it's ever so said to him, like
44:30
Speaker 1: we know Al knows, we Al knows that he knows Nina.
44:33
Speaker 1: He doesn't know who she is. Oh, no, he does know,
44:35
Speaker 1: because she said you don't remember me. He's like I
44:39
Speaker 1: missed him, not been on your radar or whatever? Oh
44:41
Speaker 1: you do remember me after he says you're Nina's friend, Um,
44:45
Speaker 1: but he never says that to Joe, And I think
44:48
Speaker 1: that's the huge dismissiveness and other levels like the talking
44:51
Speaker 1: about sex work and what we need to talk about
44:54
Speaker 1: and how invisible they can be treated and dismissed us
44:58
Speaker 1: human as well. So there's so many under lying things
45:01
Speaker 1: to that. Again, I'm maybe waiting too much into it,
45:04
Speaker 1: but I think there's that conversation too, and men empower
45:09
Speaker 1: dismissing women in specific employments or careers and therefore feeling
45:16
Speaker 1: like they can and they are untouchable and they have
45:18
Speaker 1: the right to dismiss them as such. Yeah, that was
45:24
Speaker 1: I definitely got that same vibe. Um, Like how quickly
45:30
Speaker 1: they were like, oh, let's just burn the body like that. Oof.
45:36
Speaker 1: It's like he didn't even think too, Like that was
45:40
Speaker 1: like the first things like Oh, let's just burn the
45:41
Speaker 1: body because it doesn't matter, she doesn't matter. Yeah, and
45:45
Speaker 1: also like I know this wasn't really the point, but
45:48
Speaker 1: I did. It did crack me up how quickly they
45:50
Speaker 1: went from did anybody order a stripper? Two? Oh, it's
45:53
Speaker 1: a stripper, who cares, We don't care who ordered? Like whatever, Okay,
46:00
Speaker 1: she feeling let's go yes, And then I did I
46:04
Speaker 1: want to touch on really briefly, um, that whole thing
46:07
Speaker 1: at the end where everybody's kind of blaming Cassie's mental
46:09
Speaker 1: health and like I said, like she for her disappearance,
46:12
Speaker 1: like oh, she wasn't doing well, um whatever, But it
46:15
Speaker 1: felt like the cops were so ready to be like yeah,
46:18
Speaker 1: I was just mark it off the list. She wasn't
46:19
Speaker 1: doing well, right, um, kind of these leading questions and
46:24
Speaker 1: like I said, like, she isn't doing well. But I
46:26
Speaker 1: think that was part of the point, was everybody kept
46:29
Speaker 1: telling her to move on from this like horrific thing,
46:35
Speaker 1: and she couldn't. And she was like I couldn't just
46:39
Speaker 1: ignore that this had happened or ignore that this is
46:42
Speaker 1: the world we live in and she's getting told like
46:45
Speaker 1: that's just how it is, and she couldn't. And so I, um,
46:50
Speaker 1: I thought that was interesting. I read a couple of
46:52
Speaker 1: articles about about that and how like they were so
46:57
Speaker 1: quick to blame the mental health, but they would just
47:02
Speaker 1: so readily like, but this actually happened, and this was
47:06
Speaker 1: an issue, and of course just stremtized from it. Yeah.
47:10
Speaker 1: I think in that regards and We talked about this
47:13
Speaker 1: in previous episodes. UM. I think when I first started,
47:16
Speaker 1: when we see people using mental health and weaponizing mental
47:20
Speaker 1: health when it comes to the gender differences, they blame
47:23
Speaker 1: mental health for women's downfall, while they blame mental health
47:28
Speaker 1: for a man who is violent and are hurting others.
47:32
Speaker 1: So it's such a whole different level of who is
47:35
Speaker 1: doing what UM to the same effect, like, well, if
47:39
Speaker 1: you're saying that he is mentally unstabled, that's why he
47:43
Speaker 1: gunned down an entire school, and that's the excuse, so
47:46
Speaker 1: we should we should forgive him or something as to where, well,
47:49
Speaker 1: this woman died or got killed because she was not healthy.
47:53
Speaker 1: Wait what Like it's just it's the opposite effect in
47:56
Speaker 1: what we see in this conversation UM and what we
48:01
Speaker 1: use and weaponize and how we weaponize it, whether it's
48:04
Speaker 1: for or against UM. And it's it's very interesting conversation
48:09
Speaker 1: because one is an excuse and one's the reason, and
48:12
Speaker 1: it's kind of that level of Uh, here we go again.
48:16
Speaker 1: We see this happen all the time, and this is
48:18
Speaker 1: a prime example of this, and we've seen that with
48:21
Speaker 1: them missing and murdered Indigenous women, UM that oftentimes their
48:26
Speaker 1: mental health or its drug uses involved, or anything that
48:31
Speaker 1: they can scrape up to say this is why she
48:33
Speaker 1: she's gone and it's her fault, instead of finding a
48:36
Speaker 1: reason that to or instead of finding the fact that
48:39
Speaker 1: she's a victim here and we need to do everything
48:42
Speaker 1: we can do to find them. Is that same stark
48:47
Speaker 1: difference here to me as well? Um. I also wanted
48:51
Speaker 1: to point out when they were talking to uh Bo
48:54
Speaker 1: Burnham's character Ryan Um, they kept thanking him. Honestly, you
48:59
Speaker 1: can't be blind to me. You're such an ouderstanding citizen.
49:02
Speaker 1: You're doing such a great job. Oh yeah, she was
49:04
Speaker 1: so mentally off, almost like thanking him for caring for
49:07
Speaker 1: her those levels, like he was doing this out of petty,
49:09
Speaker 1: but there's so many things to that level, like oh
49:11
Speaker 1: my god, what mm hmm. Yeah, it was like he
49:16
Speaker 1: used the victim for having to put up with her
49:18
Speaker 1: and her issues and heavy quotes. But yeah, you're so right,
49:24
Speaker 1: because when it's women, it's your fault all of these things,
49:28
Speaker 1: the mental health, to the drugs, whatever it is. With men,
49:33
Speaker 1: we're much more likely like, well, it's not he's fault.
49:35
Speaker 1: It's like everybody else's fault. But not is that's what's
49:39
Speaker 1: playing out the sexual assault too, Whereas and said, they're
49:42
Speaker 1: essentially telling her to move on, to accept that this
49:45
Speaker 1: is the world we live in, we can't do any better,
49:48
Speaker 1: and she's so angry about it rightfully. Yeah, yeah, I
49:54
Speaker 1: mean a lot to talk about, for sure. It is
49:57
Speaker 1: a rough one. I recommend it, but be in the
49:58
Speaker 1: right mind space, prepare yourself, get your healing movie after
50:02
Speaker 1: the comedy. I don't think I immediately texted you like
50:06
Speaker 1: I have to watch a romantic comedy or something now.
50:09
Speaker 1: Thank you do the listeners, and we always love your
50:13
Speaker 1: suggestions and thank you, but yes, I'm just kind of
50:15
Speaker 1: mad at you, all right, yes, yes, thank you for
50:22
Speaker 1: sending those suggestions. Thanks to everybody who suggested this. If
50:26
Speaker 1: you would like to send us more suggestions, or if
50:27
Speaker 1: you have any thoughts about this, you can email us
50:30
Speaker 1: Stephane your mom stuff at iHeart media dot com. You
50:32
Speaker 1: find us on Twitter at moms of podcast, or on
50:34
Speaker 1: Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never told you. Thanks
50:36
Speaker 1: as always to our super producer Christina. Thank you, Christina,
50:39
Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never told you.
50:41
Speaker 1: Protection by Heart Radio for more podcast for my heart Radio.
50:43
Speaker 1: You can check out the heart Radio Apple podcast to
50:45
Speaker 1: ready listen to your favorite shops.