Latest / The You Project / #2136 The Funsexual - Daviana Memont

Transcript

#2136 The Funsexual - Daviana Memont · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: I got a team. It's the bloody you project. It's Harps,
0:03
Speaker 1: it's Stiff, it's Dabana, it's you. Welcome back post easter everyone.
0:08
Speaker 1: I hope you're fucking terrific, Tiff. Did you have a
0:11
Speaker 1: good easter? Oh?
0:12
Speaker 2: I've had so much chocolate?
0:13
Speaker 1: Couldn't have been better, couldn't have been better? Still got
0:15
Speaker 1: a fridge full of it. Well, you've now got a
0:18
Speaker 1: man in your life who's a fucking chef, who I reckon,
0:21
Speaker 1: there's a chance that in about five years you're going
0:23
Speaker 1: to be six hundred pounds and he's going to be
0:25
Speaker 1: your feeder, right because probably you love like you get
0:29
Speaker 1: angry and you've got a lot of food issues. Self
0:32
Speaker 1: express everyone. I'm not throwing her under the bus, and
0:35
Speaker 1: I mean that's the start of her issues, let's be honest.
0:37
Speaker 1: But anyway, that's just the door opener. But he loves
0:40
Speaker 1: feeding you. And while you tell him you have no
0:43
Speaker 1: self compol control or impulse control, he makes you like
0:47
Speaker 1: a kilogram of chocolate fudge. I know he's just keeping
0:50
Speaker 1: himself safe. He was he trying to make himself like indisposable?
0:56
Speaker 1: Is he He's safety protocol is just have food on
1:00
Speaker 1: and throw it at a when things look unstable, and
1:03
Speaker 1: so far it's working. Yeah, well it's quite effective. Also pathetic,
1:08
Speaker 1: Hey do better, Scott do better. Speaking of pathetic, our
1:13
Speaker 1: next guest isn't see what I did there? You thought? Fuck?
1:17
Speaker 1: What's he going to say here? Jesus Dabiana, Welcome to
1:21
Speaker 1: the You Project? My friend? How are you?
1:24
Speaker 2: I'm good? Thank you? How are you?
1:25
Speaker 1: Now? Is it offensive if I start off by saying,
1:28
Speaker 1: for a biological mail, you're hot as fuck?
1:31
Speaker 2: No, that's a fucking huge compliment. Thank you so much.
1:34
Speaker 1: Wow, Wow, I'm I'm My body's confused at the moment,
1:40
Speaker 1: TIV so many issues going on. My body's like yeah,
1:45
Speaker 1: that's yeah, Yeah, my brain's like no, bro, stop it?
1:48
Speaker 1: What are you doing? My kidding? Thanks so much for
1:52
Speaker 1: coming to the silliness that is the You Project. I
1:55
Speaker 1: listened to you and TIF have it your chat this morning.
1:58
Speaker 1: I call that research, which is the most research I've
2:01
Speaker 1: done in over two thousand shows. Is listening to an
2:04
Speaker 1: hour or somebody and diff knows that to be true,
2:06
Speaker 1: don't you?
2:07
Speaker 3: Yeah?
2:07
Speaker 4: True story?
2:08
Speaker 1: That is so where just for my listeners who don't
2:12
Speaker 1: know you or anything about you, where are you at Like,
2:15
Speaker 1: where do you live.
2:17
Speaker 2: I am in the United States and Massachusetts, so it's
2:20
Speaker 2: on the East coast, Northeast coast of the United States.
2:24
Speaker 1: They've been down under I have. That's not a metaphor
2:28
Speaker 1: or a euphemism for anything else.
2:31
Speaker 2: Yes, now I've done to Brisbane and Gladstone with Yeah,
2:36
Speaker 2: back in the late nineties.
2:38
Speaker 1: How long were you in the Marines for four years?
2:42
Speaker 1: Love it? Hate it, tolerate it?
2:44
Speaker 3: Uh?
2:45
Speaker 2: Both all of the above.
2:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, with the best and what's the best and worst?
2:51
Speaker 1: Because we don't have marines. We have you know, Army
2:54
Speaker 1: and Navy and Air Force and special operators and all
2:57
Speaker 1: that stuff. But what's the best and what was the
3:00
Speaker 1: and worst for you?
3:03
Speaker 2: I would definitely say my I spent about two and
3:05
Speaker 2: a half years with what was called the thirty first
3:09
Speaker 2: Marine Exhibitionary Unit, and that's how I got to go
3:12
Speaker 2: to Australia and time went to Thailand, so like that
3:16
Speaker 2: was probably the best part of it. And then like
3:21
Speaker 2: you know, I was in the Marine Corps as a
3:22
Speaker 2: diesel mechanic, so like I never really thought like I
3:26
Speaker 2: was going to be in any kind of high risk situation,
3:28
Speaker 2: but then we got involved with Operation Desert Fox and
3:31
Speaker 2: late ninety eight ninety nine. But then the worst part
3:35
Speaker 2: was definitely my last duty station on an army base
3:39
Speaker 2: in Missouri because it was just absolutely boring as hell.
3:42
Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, and I wanted to re enlist and
3:46
Speaker 2: they were like, yeah, you can re enlist after you
3:48
Speaker 2: spend three years here, and I was like, I'm like no,
3:50
Speaker 2: I'm out see it. It was like the deadliest dead zone.
3:55
Speaker 2: Like it was terrible. It was absolutely boring. There was
3:58
Speaker 2: nothing to do there but drink and feet.
4:04
Speaker 1: Wow, Tiff, you should become a marine. Sounds like fun. Actually,
4:09
Speaker 1: he just described your ideal lifestyle. You nearly spat out
4:13
Speaker 1: your drink while you're shoving and shoving it down your
4:16
Speaker 1: gob there She's like, fucking what where do I sign?
4:20
Speaker 1: That's that is wow? Wow. And for the last twenty
4:26
Speaker 1: I think or so years, you've been a trainer, conditioning coach,
4:30
Speaker 1: et cetera.
4:30
Speaker 2: Is that correcttions yet?
4:33
Speaker 3: Yeah?
4:33
Speaker 1: Giddy up? But a cup. Well, here's a bit of
4:35
Speaker 1: history for you. The bloke that's talking to you set
4:38
Speaker 1: up the first personal training center in Australia in nineteen
4:42
Speaker 1: ninety when and I started training pteing in eighty six.
4:45
Speaker 1: So forty fucking years ago. How old am I? Anyway? Yeah,
4:49
Speaker 1: there was no PT no qualification, no courses, no industry,
4:55
Speaker 1: no insurance. Back when I started, it was the wild West.
4:59
Speaker 2: Nice.
5:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's been a learning, a big learning. I
5:04
Speaker 1: have a lot of time. What made you become a trainer?
5:07
Speaker 1: Is it just because you tried yourself and you thought,
5:10
Speaker 1: I reckon, I going to help others get in shype?
5:12
Speaker 2: No? I actually it started when I was a kid
5:16
Speaker 2: in high school in like ninety fourish, ninety five ish.
5:20
Speaker 2: I met a girl that had a broken back and
5:24
Speaker 2: as they were told that she would never walk again,
5:27
Speaker 2: maybe not. You know, if she could walk, you probably
5:30
Speaker 2: never play sports again. And for some reason I just
5:33
Speaker 2: decided to be myerside as much as possible and got
5:36
Speaker 2: her walking again and stuff like that. And then I
5:40
Speaker 2: joined the Marine Corps for a couple of reasons, and
5:42
Speaker 2: you know, one of them was that I liked to
5:44
Speaker 2: help people. And then when I got out, I was
5:47
Speaker 2: before I went in, I was doing time boxing and
5:49
Speaker 2: kickboxing at a studio, and about a year after I
5:52
Speaker 2: got out, I ran into the guy that ran the
5:53
Speaker 2: place and he was like, you got to come down
5:55
Speaker 2: here and check it out. We're picking up cars and
5:58
Speaker 2: logs and stones and stuff. So he's talk about strong man.
6:00
Speaker 2: So I was like, all right, yeah, I went there
6:02
Speaker 2: and I did one competition and took second place, and
6:06
Speaker 2: then he recommended I become a coach. So I became
6:08
Speaker 2: a coach and that was it.
6:11
Speaker 1: The rest is history. What's the best part about being
6:13
Speaker 1: a trainer or coach for you? Like, what is one
6:17
Speaker 1: mikes you happy in the middle of all of that?
6:21
Speaker 2: People with injuries, and like, I like special population people,
6:25
Speaker 2: So like I've dealt a lot with kids with injuries,
6:30
Speaker 2: people with strokes, cancer, brain tumors, all sorts of diseases
6:37
Speaker 2: that are like autoimmune stuff like that that they really
6:39
Speaker 2: struggle to get strong with. And then competitors people that
6:44
Speaker 2: want to compete in powerlifting and strong man and stuff
6:46
Speaker 2: like that. So I got very quickly got tired of
6:50
Speaker 2: the typical weight loss client that was just you know,
6:53
Speaker 2: constantly lying to you about that fruit intake. And it's
6:57
Speaker 2: just like people that didn't really want to help themselves.
7:00
Speaker 2: They just wanted to feel good about the fact that
7:02
Speaker 2: they went to the gym and then continue to go
7:04
Speaker 2: eat pizza and shit. All they.
7:08
Speaker 1: I used to do all of my clients, well nearly
7:11
Speaker 1: all of my clients, for all of my I guess,
7:15
Speaker 1: fitness industry career, sports and conditioning career, I made them
7:20
Speaker 1: fill out a diary. Well I required them to. They
7:22
Speaker 1: didn't have to, but that was one of the conditions
7:25
Speaker 1: back in the old days before trackers, et cetera. And
7:30
Speaker 1: so they would have to fill out, you know, everything
7:31
Speaker 1: and what time did you get up, what time did
7:33
Speaker 1: you go to bed? You know, all the tea, coffee, booze,
7:36
Speaker 1: water as well as obviously food, and what time you
7:39
Speaker 1: wait and like a lot of information. Probably took them
7:42
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes a day. And it's so interesting how many
7:46
Speaker 1: people would turn up and I'd look at their diary
7:49
Speaker 1: and I'd look at them and I'm like, nah, nah,
7:54
Speaker 1: you're not eating this, you're not drink like this is
7:56
Speaker 1: not especially over time, you know, when you see over
8:00
Speaker 1: three months, every day it's a fucking chicken salad and
8:02
Speaker 1: two glasses of water and four gulps of air and
8:06
Speaker 1: they've gained ten kilos or you know, you like bros,
8:09
Speaker 1: there's like I like you, you're a good dude or
8:13
Speaker 1: dude at but I'm like, we need to because your
8:16
Speaker 1: problem is not your genetic potential, it's not your physiology.
8:20
Speaker 1: It's like your decision making and your ability to execute
8:26
Speaker 1: the things we need to do. So how do you
8:29
Speaker 1: approach that when you know that somebody is lying to
8:32
Speaker 1: you without being Because I think most people, including me,
8:37
Speaker 1: at times in my life, like I was morbidly obeste
8:40
Speaker 1: when I was younger, and then even when I was
8:43
Speaker 1: got in really good shape and I started all my
8:46
Speaker 1: fitness industry career, but there was a time there where
8:49
Speaker 1: I really struggled because I've got heaps of fucking issues
8:51
Speaker 1: welcome to the club about my body and food, and
8:55
Speaker 1: I felt like a complete fraud. But I was Essentially
8:59
Speaker 1: I was just said actually telling people to do stuff
9:01
Speaker 1: that I couldn't do or I wasn't doing right. How
9:05
Speaker 1: do you handle that when you know someone's got good
9:07
Speaker 1: intentions and you know they could be in great shape,
9:11
Speaker 1: but you know the biggest limitation is not their potential,
9:14
Speaker 1: but what they're doing to their body and then lying
9:16
Speaker 1: to you about it.
9:18
Speaker 2: So as soon as I caught on to the lies,
9:20
Speaker 2: which was probably like in the first four or five
9:22
Speaker 2: years of my career, I started the same thing. Having
9:25
Speaker 2: people feel our diaries, And it's actually a prerequisite now
9:30
Speaker 2: for any of clients that I take on that they
9:31
Speaker 2: have to show me five days worth of food tracking
9:34
Speaker 2: ahead of time. And I tell them point blank, don't lie, Like,
9:37
Speaker 2: just tell me that God out is truth, because if
9:39
Speaker 2: you lie to me and I start to manipulate your
9:41
Speaker 2: diet plant according to what you've told me you've been eating,
9:44
Speaker 2: chances are I'm going to give you something slightly stepped
9:47
Speaker 2: in the right direction, and if you've been lying to me,
9:49
Speaker 2: it's going to be a bigger step than it should be,
9:51
Speaker 2: so you're going to fail. And on top of that,
9:54
Speaker 2: I tell them point blank that if I ever think
9:55
Speaker 2: that you're lying to me, I'll drop you as a
9:57
Speaker 2: client because your your money is not any good to
10:00
Speaker 2: me if you're lying, Like, I don't want clients walking
10:03
Speaker 2: around saying, you know, I'm coached by Strength Discovery and
10:07
Speaker 2: you see no progress. So like, if you're going to
10:10
Speaker 2: lie to me, or if you're going to not going
10:11
Speaker 2: to make progress in the next three months, like I'm
10:13
Speaker 2: going to fire you as a client. I'm just I
10:15
Speaker 2: want to think it's that simple.
10:17
Speaker 1: I used to say to my clients if they would
10:20
Speaker 1: do that, it's not good for you and it's not
10:23
Speaker 1: good for me, you know, because people go, oh, you
10:26
Speaker 1: trained with Greg for a year and in simple terms,
10:30
Speaker 1: it didn't work. I'm like, well, that's not the whole story.
10:33
Speaker 1: It's like E like, yes, I want you to get
10:35
Speaker 1: a great outcome for you, but also a little bit
10:38
Speaker 1: for me. I want to produce good you know what
10:42
Speaker 1: I mean. It's not great for business if your clients
10:45
Speaker 1: aren't achieving. So it's got to be a two way thing.
10:48
Speaker 1: I guess, now, how many how many podcasts do you
10:51
Speaker 1: think you've been on? I was thinking before about this
10:53
Speaker 1: in terms of views showing up? I think eight or
10:56
Speaker 1: nine now, okay, so not a lot. Yeah, but that's
11:00
Speaker 1: sud in the last like three months. Yeah, great, great.
11:05
Speaker 1: So what do most people? I mean, I want to
11:08
Speaker 1: dive into your story, but I also don't want to
11:10
Speaker 1: be let's talk about this and then you did that?
11:12
Speaker 1: Why did you do that? Right at the tell us
11:15
Speaker 1: about your journey living as like wherever you want to
11:21
Speaker 1: start and whatever you want to leave out or in,
11:23
Speaker 1: but starting to live as a woman and dressing that
11:26
Speaker 1: way and identifying and and what I loved about Tiff was,
11:33
Speaker 1: you know, the funniest thing you said was I'm fun sexual.
11:40
Speaker 1: I love that. I think I'm going to call the
11:43
Speaker 1: title of the episode that tif. When I saw your title,
11:45
Speaker 1: I went, thank god you didn't use that. I think
11:47
Speaker 1: I'm going to explain Dabiana what that means. What does
11:52
Speaker 1: fun sexual mean? I know it's a you created word,
11:54
Speaker 1: but let's see if we can.
11:55
Speaker 2: Get it and then we actually now sell products to
11:57
Speaker 2: with that on it.
11:59
Speaker 1: Get it out? What does it mean to you? So?
12:02
Speaker 2: Fun sexual means to me? So everybody always asks me.
12:04
Speaker 2: They're like, so, you're a biological male, but you now
12:09
Speaker 2: identify as female or your transition to look like female,
12:12
Speaker 2: but you're only into females, Like, does that make you
12:15
Speaker 2: a lesbian? I'm like, you guys always trying to categorize me.
12:20
Speaker 2: And they're like, well, have you been with the man before.
12:22
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I've been with a man, I've been
12:24
Speaker 2: with a trans woman. I've been with a woman. They're like,
12:26
Speaker 2: so you're bisexual, you're panchextual. Everybody's trying to put you
12:30
Speaker 2: into some sort of category. And I'm like, I'm fun
12:34
Speaker 2: sexual and what I mean by that is like the
12:36
Speaker 2: partner that I want to have for the rest of
12:38
Speaker 2: my life. I want to be female. Yeah, now in
12:43
Speaker 2: that process of being with a female, and I've been
12:47
Speaker 2: with females like like, I enjoy kink and fetish and
12:52
Speaker 2: bondage and I was introduced to it at a very
12:55
Speaker 2: young age. Actually, that's the best thing that ever came
12:57
Speaker 2: out of that last duty station I had. So I
13:00
Speaker 2: guess that's probably not the worst part of the Marine Corps.
13:02
Speaker 2: Then when I think about second guess that one so
13:07
Speaker 2: like I hit about I want to say, when I
13:11
Speaker 2: was like in my early thirties, at some point I
13:14
Speaker 2: was just like I said to myself and said, you
13:16
Speaker 2: know what, I'm like, I'm not going to say no anymore.
13:20
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm going to base it on vibe and
13:23
Speaker 2: like personality and just like if I'm in a situation
13:27
Speaker 2: and it's a group of people and they all want
13:29
Speaker 2: to have like some fun, like I'm gonna go have
13:31
Speaker 2: some fun and I'm not going to care what's between
13:34
Speaker 2: the legs, what's like Like, it's just I'm just gonna
13:37
Speaker 2: go with the flow and if I like it, great,
13:40
Speaker 2: If I don't like it, great too, Like, but like
13:42
Speaker 2: I told myself, I'm like, I'm going to try things
13:44
Speaker 2: three times to make sure I don't like it. And
13:47
Speaker 2: everybody's like, well three times, I'm like, well, because the
13:50
Speaker 2: first time you try something, you might just be weirded
13:52
Speaker 2: out because you tried something that like was labeled as
13:55
Speaker 2: gay or labeled as taboo or labeled as like fetish
13:59
Speaker 2: or just wrong. I'm like, the second time you try it,
14:01
Speaker 2: maybe it was the wrong person or like you still
14:03
Speaker 2: were on nerves. The third time you try it, you're
14:06
Speaker 2: either going to like it or be like now, fuck no.
14:08
Speaker 2: The same for me, yes, So that's why I say
14:11
Speaker 2: three times, And so a fun sexual means to me
14:13
Speaker 2: is that like I'm not in any box. I'm when
14:17
Speaker 2: it comes to sex and just sex. If I'm by myself,
14:24
Speaker 2: like not partnered, or if I'm with a partner that's
14:27
Speaker 2: open to playing with other people whatever, like if the
14:31
Speaker 2: vibe is right, we're just going to do what we
14:33
Speaker 2: want to do, like and that's the end of it.
14:34
Speaker 2: Like at the end of the day, if I have
14:35
Speaker 2: a partner, me and my partner will go home and
14:37
Speaker 2: be with each other. And if I don't have a partner,
14:39
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, whatever, it doesn't matter,
14:41
Speaker 2: Like it just I don't look at what people do
14:47
Speaker 2: in their bedroom or behind whatever closed doors is something
14:50
Speaker 2: that we need to put a box around. I need
14:52
Speaker 2: to label it. And it's also nobody else's fucking business,
14:56
Speaker 2: like the fact that people want to know like who
14:58
Speaker 2: you're sleeping with and what kind of sex you have.
15:00
Speaker 2: It's like, how is this your business? You know? That's
15:03
Speaker 2: It's just one of those things where it's just like
15:05
Speaker 2: people want to put a label on you because everybody
15:08
Speaker 2: wants to know everything. So it's just like I'm creating
15:11
Speaker 2: my own label and that's fun.
15:12
Speaker 1: S actual Tiff, can you please because you're the lady
15:16
Speaker 1: on my now, are you happy to call me a lady? Well,
15:20
Speaker 1: you're kind of a lady, Like you're all three of
15:23
Speaker 1: us are different, right, You're a hybrid? Sure? Have you
15:28
Speaker 1: ever seen you're a bit of a hybrid. Have you
15:31
Speaker 1: ever seen a zonkie? Either of you? Yeah? So a
15:36
Speaker 1: zonkie is literally half donkey half zebra. So if you're
15:40
Speaker 1: the tyt zonkey, right and you know it, you fucking
15:43
Speaker 1: love it. But just for how was the audience whill laugh?
15:48
Speaker 1: And for the American on the interview, could you tell
15:54
Speaker 1: tell Dabiana what a box is in Australia. What a
15:58
Speaker 1: box is? Well, she kept saying, I'm not going to
16:03
Speaker 1: be in a box.
16:03
Speaker 2: I'm like, already, I know what you mean by yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:09
Speaker 2: We use that same slang term here. It's like yeah,
16:11
Speaker 2: but when I say boxes, so we also use that
16:15
Speaker 2: term here. Its very strongly. It's like and the reason
16:17
Speaker 2: we use box is because when people fill out forms,
16:20
Speaker 2: there's always boxes to check.
16:22
Speaker 1: I'm just fucking with you.
16:23
Speaker 2: I know, you know, I totally get it.
16:26
Speaker 1: If you and I were mates, which is not a
16:29
Speaker 1: sexist term, if you and I are mates here, I
16:33
Speaker 1: would call you Brosfine. I feel like you call me Brosfine,
16:38
Speaker 1: I do call it.
16:39
Speaker 5: Well, that's because you're a hybrid. You're a zonkie. You're
16:42
Speaker 5: straight up zonkie. Masquerading is a donkey. What about when
16:49
Speaker 5: you're in the Marines, did this door open? Did anyone
16:52
Speaker 5: have an awareness of how you felt? And you know, yeah,
16:58
Speaker 5: what what you Yeah?
17:00
Speaker 1: You have sexuality or your now?
17:02
Speaker 2: So one of the other reasons I joined the Marines
17:04
Speaker 2: is because this was basically a feeling that I had
17:09
Speaker 2: ever since I was a kid and thought, like with
17:12
Speaker 2: the way I was raised, that it was wrong and
17:14
Speaker 2: I shouldn't feel this way. So one of the other reasons,
17:17
Speaker 2: besides the fact that I liked helping people, that I
17:19
Speaker 2: joined the Marine Corps was because I like my decision
17:23
Speaker 2: was to join the service, and then it was like, well,
17:26
Speaker 2: you might as well join the toughest service that you
17:28
Speaker 2: know that America has to office, so that way maybe
17:31
Speaker 2: they can beat this feeling out of you. Like I
17:33
Speaker 2: literally thought that this feeling would be something that like
17:36
Speaker 2: if I did the manliest thing possible, like I wouldn't
17:39
Speaker 2: feel this way anymore.
17:42
Speaker 1: It didn't work, did you think it was? I mean,
17:45
Speaker 1: because you grow up being programmed to a point and
17:50
Speaker 1: control and manipulated and coerced to think a certain way
17:54
Speaker 1: and see life and relationships and gender a certain way.
18:00
Speaker 1: Did Was there any what was the emotion associated? I
18:04
Speaker 1: was going to say, is there any Was there any
18:06
Speaker 1: guilt because you were pushing against the grind or whatever? Like,
18:11
Speaker 1: what was the emotion wrapped around that I want to
18:14
Speaker 1: put on a frock and some fucking stilettos and get
18:16
Speaker 1: after it. Like, what was the emotion?
18:19
Speaker 2: So there was definitely a ton of guilt. Like when
18:23
Speaker 2: I first started doing it, like on my own, I
18:26
Speaker 2: was very young. I was like seven or eight, and
18:30
Speaker 2: I was like dressing up in my mom's lingerie and
18:33
Speaker 2: her boots and heels and stuff, when like she wasn't home, skirts,
18:38
Speaker 2: the whole bit. You know, I could never put on
18:42
Speaker 2: her tops because my mother was a very well endowed
18:44
Speaker 2: woman and I was a tiny, tiny little kid, So
18:46
Speaker 2: like that didn't work.
18:48
Speaker 1: I don't know to know about your mom's tits, seriously,
18:52
Speaker 1: carry on.
18:53
Speaker 2: But anyway, so like when I actually got a partner
18:59
Speaker 2: that it was okay with me doing this. Yeah, the
19:04
Speaker 2: weird thing is is that, like I enjoyed the moment
19:08
Speaker 2: so much, but like when the moment was over, I
19:10
Speaker 2: had this massive guilt in my head and like I
19:13
Speaker 2: was like I couldn't get the clothes off fast enough,
19:15
Speaker 2: I couldn't get the makeup off fast enough. I thought
19:18
Speaker 2: that maybe she thought less of me because of that,
19:20
Speaker 2: and like it just it destroyed, It destroyed the whole
19:25
Speaker 2: moment for me afterwards. But like the concept of getting
19:29
Speaker 2: prepped and ready and putting on hair and makeup and
19:33
Speaker 2: getting dressed in something nice, or like if we went out,
19:36
Speaker 2: because we would go out in public and go to
19:38
Speaker 2: restaurants and go on dates, like all of that felt
19:40
Speaker 2: so good, but as soon as it was over, it
19:43
Speaker 2: was just like, Okay, get this stuff off me, let
19:45
Speaker 2: me get in the shower, wash my face, and go
19:47
Speaker 2: back to being Dave. So like, it was definitely guilt
19:51
Speaker 2: that would come and go, but then as I got
19:54
Speaker 2: more comfortable in it and more happier with it, the
19:56
Speaker 2: guilt just faded away. And now this is the if
20:00
Speaker 2: they haven't had guilt in it in years.
20:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, amazing, amazing. Well, and also I love the fact
20:06
Speaker 1: that you and TIV spoke so much about happiness and
20:09
Speaker 1: it's I don't hear either you're a great actor or
20:14
Speaker 1: you're really fucking happy. I'm pretty sure it's be like
20:21
Speaker 1: the fact that you did this thing that nobody taught
20:24
Speaker 1: told or trained you to do or become, or this
20:27
Speaker 1: door that you open, whatever fucking metaphor we want to use,
20:30
Speaker 1: and on the other side of that door, you found
20:34
Speaker 1: happiness that you don't actually have to explain to anyone.
20:39
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I think one of the best things that
20:41
Speaker 2: I can say to people is like, people like, oh,
20:43
Speaker 2: so you're transitioning to be a woman, and I'm like, no,
20:47
Speaker 2: I'm transitioning to be me. Yeah, Like that's it like
20:50
Speaker 2: this is just me, like and like I mean, just
20:54
Speaker 2: in the last like five days, I've gotten beat up
20:57
Speaker 2: on social media by some guy that is completely upset
21:02
Speaker 2: about the fact that I am not gay, that I
21:07
Speaker 2: had identify biologically as a man, and he's like he's
21:11
Speaker 2: been ongoing harassing me to the point where he's pulled
21:15
Speaker 2: up like divorce records and like went publicly telling people
21:18
Speaker 2: that I'm a threat to society because I'm not gay
21:21
Speaker 2: and because I like women. It's been ridiculous and like
21:26
Speaker 2: to me, it's just like I don't even know how
21:31
Speaker 2: to explain it, Like it just I'm so comfortable being
21:38
Speaker 2: who I really am now that like people were expecting
21:41
Speaker 2: me to like fire back against this person, like extremely
21:44
Speaker 2: harsh and yelling extremely because he went above and beyond.
21:47
Speaker 2: He literally put up a public document from my divorce
21:51
Speaker 2: that involved my access last first and last name, my
21:54
Speaker 2: daughter's first, last and middle name, publicly put it out
21:56
Speaker 2: there for everybody to see. Wow, And like I was
22:00
Speaker 2: just like I got online and just told them that
22:03
Speaker 2: like I fell bad farm for being this nasty of
22:06
Speaker 2: a person, and that was it for me. Like I
22:12
Speaker 2: think one of the biggest like aha, moments for me,
22:17
Speaker 2: like realizing how happy I was was. So I had
22:20
Speaker 2: a therapist for like four years, and the first day
22:24
Speaker 2: I showed up for therapy dressed, she just looked at
22:29
Speaker 2: me and she was just like like floored. Her mouth
22:32
Speaker 2: was wide open. She was just like, oh my god.
22:34
Speaker 2: I'm like what. She goes. She goes, You're friggin shining.
22:37
Speaker 2: She goes, You're beautiful, You're glowing. She goes you, she goes,
22:40
Speaker 2: you look absolutely stunning. She goes, And I don't mean
22:43
Speaker 2: that because of like your outfit or the way your
22:46
Speaker 2: makeup looks. She goes, I just mean like she goes,
22:48
Speaker 2: like you can see it just coming out of you
22:50
Speaker 2: as to how happy you are. And I'm like, yeah, no,
22:53
Speaker 2: this is this is genuinely me. And it's like after
22:57
Speaker 2: the surgeries I've had and with the estrogen helping and
22:59
Speaker 2: stuff like that. Like I look, whenever I'm on a
23:02
Speaker 2: podcast or I'm live with TikTok or or Instagram or whatever,
23:06
Speaker 2: like sometimes I catch myself staring at myself going, holy shit,
23:09
Speaker 2: that's that's that's you. Like Wow, that's that's you.
23:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, for what it's worth, you kind of hot,
23:19
Speaker 1: which you know, good I don't know what to do
23:23
Speaker 1: with that, though. I think maybe maybe one of the
23:29
Speaker 1: reasons people try and put you in a box, in
23:33
Speaker 1: a category, you know, to be able to label you
23:36
Speaker 1: is because they're that that makes them feel better, rather
23:41
Speaker 1: than they don't like it's like, oh, well you're a
23:44
Speaker 1: I need a label. I need to know what you
23:46
Speaker 1: are exactly because it doesn't make sense to me and
23:50
Speaker 1: this whole kind of ah, you don't need to give
23:52
Speaker 1: me a label. It's like, I think it's more about
23:56
Speaker 1: their issues than any issue you've ever had or will
24:00
Speaker 1: ever have.
24:01
Speaker 2: Yes, I completely agree with that.
24:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't know how we get around that.
24:06
Speaker 1: But so when did you start to think about, Okay,
24:11
Speaker 1: this might maybe I'm not the guy, maybe I'm not
24:16
Speaker 1: just day that likes to put on women's clothes, are
24:20
Speaker 1: wear female clothing? But when did you start to get
24:24
Speaker 1: closer to the idea of nah, I might just want
24:27
Speaker 1: to live like this, Because there must have been an
24:32
Speaker 1: internal kind of doing and throwing about all the potential
24:35
Speaker 1: outcomes of that.
24:37
Speaker 2: So I would say the turning point for that where
24:40
Speaker 2: I was just like, this is kind of more me
24:43
Speaker 2: was when I started to realize just like, how much
24:45
Speaker 2: happier I was, yes, but also so when I was
24:51
Speaker 2: running my gym and I was married and my daughter
24:55
Speaker 2: was in school or in daycare or whatever, Like if
24:58
Speaker 2: I had free time, I would really run home and
25:00
Speaker 2: get dressed up for a couple of hours and just
25:03
Speaker 2: feel good. And like I would take pictures and send
25:06
Speaker 2: them to my wife at the time, and like she'd
25:08
Speaker 2: be like, Oh, that looks really good, but maybe you
25:09
Speaker 2: should change your makeup a little bit. It's a little
25:11
Speaker 2: bit too heavy here, too heavy there. Like I was
25:13
Speaker 2: trying to master my craft of looking as pretty as
25:16
Speaker 2: I could being also as big and as jacked as
25:18
Speaker 2: I was with my square jaw and everything, like, because
25:24
Speaker 2: like my face was completely different from what it is now.
25:29
Speaker 2: But like that started to become an issue to the
25:32
Speaker 2: point where I started talking to my wife about the
25:34
Speaker 2: concept of transitioning and she's like, okay, She's like, I'm
25:37
Speaker 2: fine with it. We just got to get our daughter
25:38
Speaker 2: into therapy if you do it, and then put it
25:41
Speaker 2: on hold because just around like I want to say,
25:46
Speaker 2: like twenty nineteen, twenty twenty ish, I was already following
25:53
Speaker 2: a bunch of transgenders and crossdressers and people that were
25:58
Speaker 2: into it, and then like somebody recommended that I get
26:02
Speaker 2: a profile on Reddit to learn more about it and stuff,
26:05
Speaker 2: and I started researching doctors and all that other stuff
26:08
Speaker 2: and the homownes the whole bit. And then I started
26:11
Speaker 2: to see within the trans community there was like, especially
26:16
Speaker 2: on Reddit, Reddit is like the worst place to be
26:20
Speaker 2: because it's like if you don't follow like certain people's
26:26
Speaker 2: ideologies of what you should be, what pronouns you should
26:30
Speaker 2: be using, and how you should go about it, Like
26:34
Speaker 2: they really get hateful amongst each other. Like the only
26:40
Speaker 2: support that there was far each other is someone that
26:42
Speaker 2: was doing the exact thing is someone else, And if
26:46
Speaker 2: something was varying from that is somebody would always pick
26:48
Speaker 2: a fight with them and be like, oh, well you
26:49
Speaker 2: should do this first, because this is the way to
26:51
Speaker 2: do it. And I was just like, and I saw
26:54
Speaker 2: how hateful it was, and I saw them coming out
26:56
Speaker 2: and like being polarized on social medias, and I was
27:00
Speaker 2: just like I took a backstep, and I was like,
27:01
Speaker 2: you know what, I don't want to be a part
27:03
Speaker 2: of that community, Like I don't if I transition now,
27:07
Speaker 2: and like I'm going to be labeled part of that community,
27:09
Speaker 2: like I don't want it. I'm like, they have very
27:11
Speaker 2: hateful people. They're hateful towards each other and others. But
27:15
Speaker 2: I actually saw more hate towards each other than I
27:18
Speaker 2: did see like anywhere else, And a lot of it
27:24
Speaker 2: was like hate that they portrayed, like when people were
27:27
Speaker 2: talking about like, oh, this person clocked me today and
27:30
Speaker 2: so fucking pathetic. And I'm like, I'm like, you're six
27:33
Speaker 2: foot four and you're wearing a dress and makeup, but
27:36
Speaker 2: yet you have facial hair and you're wondering why people
27:38
Speaker 2: are staring at you, like what do you expect? Yes,
27:43
Speaker 2: and you're getting upset stared at. But like I mean,
27:46
Speaker 2: and for me, it was like I spent a lot
27:49
Speaker 2: of time getting stared at as well, being six feet
27:51
Speaker 2: two hundred and twenty pounds and like like any dress
27:55
Speaker 2: or sleeveless shirt I wore, it was like, you know,
27:57
Speaker 2: my arms were huge, my shoulders were huge, My trap
28:00
Speaker 2: for ginormous, like and people even now say like, oh,
28:03
Speaker 2: you're gonna lose some more muscle mass, and I'm like,
28:05
Speaker 2: I've lost so much it's ridiculous. But I spent a
28:10
Speaker 2: lot of time out in public at first, worrying about
28:14
Speaker 2: what everybody else was looking at me and what they
28:16
Speaker 2: were thinking, and it made my life miserable. So like,
28:20
Speaker 2: right around that same time, I was like, oh, this
28:22
Speaker 2: is like I can't do this, this is like it's
28:25
Speaker 2: too much. And it wasn't until after my divorce where
28:31
Speaker 2: I started to have more free time because we have
28:34
Speaker 2: fifty custody, So like I started doing it more and
28:37
Speaker 2: more and got more comfortable with it and more happy
28:39
Speaker 2: about it and smiled more and stopped caring about what
28:42
Speaker 2: other people were looking at and focused on what I
28:45
Speaker 2: was doing, who I was with and just being happy.
28:48
Speaker 2: And I got so much more comfortable and didn't care
28:50
Speaker 2: what people looked at. And I actually think it portrayed
28:54
Speaker 2: as like people noticed me, but I think they noticed
28:57
Speaker 2: that like I didn't care and that I was happy.
29:00
Speaker 2: So I think in that sense, I actually got treated
29:02
Speaker 2: better because I didn't look like someone who was trying
29:04
Speaker 2: to like be meek and hide. I was something that
29:06
Speaker 2: was very happy and proud of what I was doing
29:08
Speaker 2: with myself. So I think that had a lot to
29:11
Speaker 2: do with it about my changing and my feeling better
29:14
Speaker 2: and might being like, Okay, I'm ready to do this,
29:17
Speaker 2: let's let's talk next steps.
29:19
Speaker 1: In order to find Thank you. That's really enlightening I
29:23
Speaker 1: find because I spent my life like you in gym's,
29:26
Speaker 1: owning gym's, running gym's. You know, I had five hundred
29:30
Speaker 1: trainers that worked for me over a quarter of a century.
29:35
Speaker 1: And like my relationship with muscle, like there was a
29:41
Speaker 1: real long time where because I was this more believe
29:46
Speaker 1: obese kid who turned into someone who was in pretty
29:49
Speaker 1: good shape and pretty jacked at times and blah blah blah.
29:52
Speaker 1: So I really my identity was in how I looked,
29:55
Speaker 1: which of course is not super healthy, right, we know that,
29:59
Speaker 1: but lots of issues that I've spoken about many times.
30:03
Speaker 1: But do you have a complicated relationship with muscle because
30:09
Speaker 1: most dudes in the gym and a lot of girls
30:11
Speaker 1: like Tiff, I mean, Tip's on a mission. She wants
30:13
Speaker 1: to be as jacked as possible, and she's pretty fucking jacked.
30:19
Speaker 1: I'll give you the red hot Tip. And but then, like,
30:22
Speaker 1: as I've gotten older, right, obviously I've lost size, I'm
30:27
Speaker 1: still lean, I've still got muscle. You know, I'm still
30:31
Speaker 1: probably way better than average in terms of functionality for
30:34
Speaker 1: all that shit. But what about you? Because there must
30:37
Speaker 1: have been a time where you loved being jack. You
30:40
Speaker 1: love being you know, hard as a cat said, and
30:42
Speaker 1: veins everywhere. And that was like because most young males
30:48
Speaker 1: or even older males want that. Now you're going, oh,
30:51
Speaker 1: i'm doing estrogen, I'm losing muscle, Probably my body fat's higher.
30:55
Speaker 1: Then it's definitely higher than if I wasn't doing it.
30:58
Speaker 1: How do you navigate not the physical but the emotional
31:01
Speaker 1: and psychological around that stuff.
31:04
Speaker 2: So at first I had a huge problem with that
31:07
Speaker 2: where I started watching my numbers go down drastically, But
31:13
Speaker 2: I kind of like let it slide because I also, like,
31:19
Speaker 2: I started estrogen and I was still lifting four to
31:22
Speaker 2: five days a week heavyweights, and I was still like
31:27
Speaker 2: actively prepping for competitions, so I didn't lose too much.
31:33
Speaker 2: It wasn't until I started my surgeries. So I had
31:37
Speaker 2: three surgeries in the course of like fourteen months, and
31:42
Speaker 2: each surgery required like two months off. Wow, fourteen months.
31:47
Speaker 2: There was six months that were sporadically here and there
31:50
Speaker 2: that I didn't get to work out. And when I
31:52
Speaker 2: did get to work out, it was like slowly build
31:54
Speaker 2: back up to being able to handle weight and then
31:57
Speaker 2: get to a place where I felt good, and then
31:58
Speaker 2: it was like, okay, time to back off for another
32:00
Speaker 2: surgery and it would just itself. So I did a
32:05
Speaker 2: powerlifting meat a couple of months ago just to see
32:08
Speaker 2: where I was and see how much my numbers had dropped.
32:11
Speaker 2: And my goal was to only go like a five
32:14
Speaker 2: hundred pounds less than when my last total was, and
32:16
Speaker 2: I did. I succeeded past that, which I was very
32:18
Speaker 2: happy about. So like for me mentally though, like the
32:23
Speaker 2: body change, I was very scared of losing muscle. At first,
32:28
Speaker 2: I was always like, you know what, I'm going to
32:29
Speaker 2: be a muscle barbie. I'm going to keep everything this,
32:31
Speaker 2: that and the other thing. And since I've backed off
32:34
Speaker 2: of that and I focused more on getting like leaner
32:41
Speaker 2: and slimmer and losing some muscle size, I have come
32:45
Speaker 2: to terms that I really am appreciating how much more
32:49
Speaker 2: feminine my body is looking. So at first was it difficult, yes,
32:53
Speaker 2: But now like when I look in the mirror, when
32:56
Speaker 2: I'm like, for instance, like the other day, I tried
32:57
Speaker 2: on a couple of different dresses that I'm going to
32:59
Speaker 2: be wearing out to a gallon this Friday, and I
33:02
Speaker 2: sent them to some girlfriends of mine and they were
33:04
Speaker 2: like holy shit, and I posted them on social media
33:07
Speaker 2: and people like, oh my god, like rock that dress
33:10
Speaker 2: and like that has really mentally helped me change my
33:14
Speaker 2: mindset about that stuff, and like I've kind of I've
33:20
Speaker 2: gotten my mindset kind of more focused on like creating
33:23
Speaker 2: the curves that I want, you know, having a larger
33:26
Speaker 2: hip size, a smaller waist, but like keeping my quads,
33:30
Speaker 2: which they're much smaller than they were, but they still
33:34
Speaker 2: stick out quite you know, predominantly. Yeah, and my arms
33:38
Speaker 2: are probably half the die diameter that they used to
33:41
Speaker 2: circumference that they used to be, but they're still for
33:45
Speaker 2: female standards larger. But like I've come to terms with
33:51
Speaker 2: it and being okay with it. So like I definitely
33:55
Speaker 2: thought it was going to be an issue, like right
33:56
Speaker 2: at the beginning, because even some of my friends that
33:58
Speaker 2: I lived with were like, You're gonna drop a lot
34:00
Speaker 2: of size and muscle. I'm like, I know, I know.
34:03
Speaker 2: I'm like like are you ready for that? I'm like no,
34:05
Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm like, yeah, one day at a time
34:08
Speaker 2: and see how it goes. And seeing the progressive change
34:11
Speaker 2: not only in my face but in my body has
34:15
Speaker 2: been like like every now and then I say to myself, like, damn, girl,
34:19
Speaker 2: you're doing good. Yeah, yeah, I'm happy about it. So
34:23
Speaker 2: I definitely think that there was an intimittent period of
34:26
Speaker 2: probably about six to eight months where I was just like, oh,
34:29
Speaker 2: this sucks, but I'm I'm past that now to the
34:33
Speaker 2: point where I'm very happy with the way my body
34:35
Speaker 2: is starting to turn out.
34:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, amizing clothes fit. I wanna how do I sign this?
34:43
Speaker 1: Tell me if I don't think this is offensive, But
34:45
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking idiot.
34:46
Speaker 2: I don't get offended about anything.
34:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you do not look like you sound so yes, right,
34:53
Speaker 1: so there's gonna be people listening to this gun. There
34:55
Speaker 1: is definitely some big fucking ja head that Cry is
34:58
Speaker 1: talking to right now who looks like chro Magnan man,
35:02
Speaker 1: some fucking Neanderthal. But let me tell you, folks, she
35:06
Speaker 1: doesn't look like that at all. It's like at all.
35:10
Speaker 1: Like so, and that made me think about this story
35:13
Speaker 1: you shared with Tiff, where I don't know, I think
35:17
Speaker 1: it was recently. You were you were in a store
35:19
Speaker 1: and you you and a person, a dude, were leaving
35:23
Speaker 1: at the same time, and he kind of looked at
35:25
Speaker 1: you and went oh and opened the door for you
35:27
Speaker 1: opening the door for a lady. And then I was
35:31
Speaker 1: just wondering though when you went, yeah, thank you. So
35:37
Speaker 1: there's Daviana and then Dave speaks like, how the fuck
35:41
Speaker 1: do people respond? Because you look a certain way that
35:45
Speaker 1: you don't sound it.
35:47
Speaker 2: So I've been doing voice therapy helps a lot of
35:52
Speaker 2: people have asked the same question, like, even on hormones
35:54
Speaker 2: for two years, how come you have voice isn't changing?
35:56
Speaker 2: And that's a very big thing that people misunderstand. So
36:00
Speaker 2: when you're transitioning from female to male and you take testosterone,
36:04
Speaker 2: testosterone will naturally thicken the vocal cords, therefore making your
36:07
Speaker 2: voice deep. Estrogen will not slim them out. So I
36:12
Speaker 2: do do voice training, and when I'm not talking fast
36:16
Speaker 2: like this and I just have one or two words
36:19
Speaker 2: to say, like thank you or something like that, I
36:20
Speaker 2: can manipulate my voice. So it's a little bit softer,
36:24
Speaker 2: not as deep, a little bit more high pitched, and
36:26
Speaker 2: I changed the way I end what I say and
36:28
Speaker 2: it sounds a lot more feminine. My voice right now
36:31
Speaker 2: is actually lighter than it normally is. So when they
36:34
Speaker 2: tested it on I'm not sure if it was decibels
36:37
Speaker 2: they measured or what. But the depth of my voice
36:40
Speaker 2: when I first started was measured at like a thirty
36:43
Speaker 2: five or forty, which, from what they said, is like
36:46
Speaker 2: holy shit, like some of the deepest voices tested. Yes, now,
36:51
Speaker 2: on average, I'm sitting around sixty five seventy, but with practice,
36:55
Speaker 2: I can get it up to like ninety. But what
36:59
Speaker 2: they want me at I wanted me to get to,
37:01
Speaker 2: which is the average female voice somewhere like the one
37:03
Speaker 2: sixty to two hundred range. Chances are I'm not going
37:07
Speaker 2: to get there without getting the vocal cord surgery, which
37:11
Speaker 2: means they just shave down each vocal cord and you
37:14
Speaker 2: can't talk for a couple of weeks, and then it's
37:16
Speaker 2: just it's it sounds different, the pitch is different, the
37:19
Speaker 2: tone is different. And then with more voice therapy, you
37:21
Speaker 2: get to sound the way you want. So when someone
37:25
Speaker 2: opens the door for me and I respond by saying
37:27
Speaker 2: thank you, I changed the way I breathe and I
37:31
Speaker 2: changed the way I speak, you can hear me saying now,
37:33
Speaker 2: so look, I'll give you an example. So here's thank
37:35
Speaker 2: you right now, thank you. Okay, yeah, but now my
37:44
Speaker 2: regular voice would be more like, thank you, this is
37:48
Speaker 2: my real voice.
37:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what's the nine of that? I'll do two
37:52
Speaker 1: for Dabiana that I'll dude? Is it Morgan Freeman, the
37:56
Speaker 1: one with that does the movies?
37:59
Speaker 2: Yep?
38:00
Speaker 1: Well you know, you know, like the dude that was
38:02
Speaker 1: in Share Shank. Yeah, you were pretty much him. Yeah.
38:09
Speaker 2: Yeah. So many people told me that you should be
38:11
Speaker 2: doing voiceovers and I'm like, yeah, no, I don't want to.
38:14
Speaker 1: Hey without going where you don't want to go. Tell
38:18
Speaker 1: me about as much or as little your wife and
38:23
Speaker 1: the the marriage dissolving or whatever we want to call it,
38:30
Speaker 1: was that was that traumatic? Was that? Okay? Was that?
38:35
Speaker 1: What was that?
38:37
Speaker 2: So our marriage dissolved? I would say the main thing,
38:40
Speaker 2: which is the reason why most people dissolve is for
38:43
Speaker 2: poor communication and a disconnect that was just wasn't there.
38:47
Speaker 2: So my marriage was very much a fun and playful marriage.
38:53
Speaker 2: We experienced bondage, kink, playing with other couples, other singles,
38:58
Speaker 2: We uh had play partners, and she was totally on
39:06
Speaker 2: board with like me dressing and you know, presenting female.
39:09
Speaker 2: We went out on dates as me as a female.
39:11
Speaker 2: We went to sex clubs, all sorts of stuff like that.
39:17
Speaker 2: When we got pregnant and had a child, she basically
39:20
Speaker 2: thought that all that was going to be over right,
39:23
Speaker 2: and that started. That was the start of the disconnect.
39:26
Speaker 2: I say so that was probably the beginning of the end,
39:31
Speaker 2: because when I met her, I told her point blank,
39:35
Speaker 2: like this is what I'm into, this is what I
39:37
Speaker 2: like to do, and she was like, great, I'm in
39:38
Speaker 2: let's go. And I was like, awesome, I met someone
39:40
Speaker 2: that's just as open minded as me. Yeah, only to
39:43
Speaker 2: find out that when she wanted to start a family,
39:46
Speaker 2: she just expected that to disappear. So I mean kind
39:51
Speaker 2: of chalk it up as to like almost like false advertisement,
39:55
Speaker 2: Like you said you were into me for me, but
39:56
Speaker 2: now it's like you have a child, Like now you
39:59
Speaker 2: expect me to just aandomly change like just like that.
40:01
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, so that was the That was
40:04
Speaker 2: the beginning of the end, and it just progressed to
40:06
Speaker 2: our worse. But I didn't transit until two years later,
40:11
Speaker 2: three years.
40:12
Speaker 1: So where you live is an allegedly wink wink Christian country.
40:20
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but anyway, it's.
40:22
Speaker 2: Got to be a Muslim country here pretty soon.
40:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, stam By, everyone, what what pushback or what
40:31
Speaker 3: experiences have you had with the Christians or any other
40:37
Speaker 3: religion or let's just go, let's ballpark it too religious people.
40:41
Speaker 1: I'm sure they've I'm sure they've connected with you.
40:46
Speaker 2: I've got I get a fair share of people that
40:48
Speaker 2: come in their lives and that will just say, you know,
40:50
Speaker 2: you need to find God, or they'll say things like
40:53
Speaker 2: you know, uh, you're going to have trouble when you
40:55
Speaker 2: meet your maker stuff like that. But like when I
40:58
Speaker 2: have people that actually reach out to me in DMS,
41:02
Speaker 2: the Christians are the nicest ones. Wow. The Christians are
41:05
Speaker 2: always like, hey, I'm a straight Christian female or I'm
41:09
Speaker 2: a straight Christian male and I'm married and this that
41:11
Speaker 2: and the other thing. And I just want to say
41:12
Speaker 2: that your message is great, and like, you know, I
41:16
Speaker 2: don't exactly agree with what you're doing, but I love
41:18
Speaker 2: the way that you're handling it, you know, the way
41:20
Speaker 2: you told your daughter. Because I have that story out
41:23
Speaker 2: in public, Like, I get a lot of support from
41:26
Speaker 2: regular people.
41:28
Speaker 1: And it's true that we can maybe not love what
41:31
Speaker 1: someone does, but love them, you know. Yeah, like we
41:36
Speaker 1: don't have to think like this isn't what you were
41:40
Speaker 1: talking about before. On Reddit, It's almost like people have
41:43
Speaker 1: to live in an echo chamber or a thought cult
41:46
Speaker 1: or you know what we would call in psychology confirmation
41:50
Speaker 1: bi us or whatever, right where well, if you don't
41:53
Speaker 1: think like me, or you don't agree with me, or
41:56
Speaker 1: you don't have my habits or lifestyle of values, that's
41:59
Speaker 1: like we can't be friends. Also, by the way, you're wrong,
42:02
Speaker 1: I'm right. It's and this could be about as you know,
42:05
Speaker 1: like in the gym, right, this could be on how
42:07
Speaker 1: to train. There are crossfits, bullshit, crossfits amazing. You know,
42:11
Speaker 1: being a vegan stupid. Being a carnival is stupid. Like
42:14
Speaker 1: there are the echo chambers for every facet of.
42:17
Speaker 2: Life, right, Yeah, And I would say that I give
42:21
Speaker 2: you some good. So I recently went on a dating app,
42:25
Speaker 2: and uh, anytime I would see a profile where someone
42:31
Speaker 2: would right like, uh no maga, no leftist, no rightist,
42:36
Speaker 2: like anybody that would list that in their profile, I
42:39
Speaker 2: was just yeah, yeah, I'm not interested. Like, if your
42:42
Speaker 2: goal in life is to surround you by people that
42:44
Speaker 2: only agree with everything you agree with, then as far
42:48
Speaker 2: as I'm concerned, you don't have the mental capacity to
42:50
Speaker 2: have an adult conversation and anything. And I don't want
42:52
Speaker 2: to have anything to do.
42:53
Speaker 4: With you, like yeah, yeah, one of the last process
42:57
Speaker 4: is like completely opposite of me on different on something
43:00
Speaker 4: that she feels are die hard and important and we're
43:02
Speaker 4: still best friends and we can still have those conversations
43:05
Speaker 4: and still be like all right.
43:06
Speaker 1: Cool, like yeah, because I love you.
43:09
Speaker 2: I need to be able to have an adult conversation
43:11
Speaker 2: with somebody if I'm going to be with them.
43:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, because about who you are, not your opinions. It's like,
43:16
Speaker 1: well make a.
43:17
Speaker 2: Care less if, like somebody was extreme right now, is
43:20
Speaker 2: extreme less or vice versa, and like that that wouldn't
43:23
Speaker 2: bother me at all.
43:24
Speaker 1: Now, what I found I knew because Tifford briefed me
43:28
Speaker 1: on kind of your philosophy and ideas around kids transitioning.
43:34
Speaker 1: And I hate to be repetitive because you've probably spoken
43:37
Speaker 1: about it a lot, but not to my audience. So
43:40
Speaker 1: here we go. Tell us as extensively or not as
43:46
Speaker 1: you want about your thinking around you know, kids, kids
43:51
Speaker 1: who want to transition and the parents role or lack
43:54
Speaker 1: of role or like yeah, just open that door for us.
43:59
Speaker 2: So with kids, I did a lot of research on
44:02
Speaker 2: this because like my main thing about putting my journey
44:09
Speaker 2: online for everybody to see is because I want to
44:12
Speaker 2: educate people on what can really happen to kids and
44:17
Speaker 2: adults when they decided to start doing hormones and having
44:19
Speaker 2: surgeries and stuff like that, and not only educate kids,
44:27
Speaker 2: but educate the parents because there's just so much of
44:29
Speaker 2: it going on that it's just it's too much. It's
44:32
Speaker 2: it's there's no way it's possible. It's even when people
44:36
Speaker 2: are like, oh, well, you got to let them transition,
44:38
Speaker 2: because you know, youth trends, you know, self unliving is
44:43
Speaker 2: like the largest thing ever, and it's like, Nope, it isn't.
44:45
Speaker 2: Actually the threat of it is, but the actual happening
44:48
Speaker 2: of it is just not there. So, like, the first
44:54
Speaker 2: thing I looked into was the brain. The prefrontal cortex
44:57
Speaker 2: of the brain, which is responsible for decision, in making
45:00
Speaker 2: a hasty decisions, rational decision is not matured until for
45:05
Speaker 2: the most part, mid twenties. Okay, then you have the
45:10
Speaker 2: concept of what it means to actually either a take
45:13
Speaker 2: a puberty blocker or b start giving kids hormones. A
45:19
Speaker 2: lot of things that can be reversed if it's done
45:22
Speaker 2: short term, but if it's done for a couple of years,
45:25
Speaker 2: a lot of things won't be reversed. And now if
45:28
Speaker 2: that kid decides to transition later in life like back,
45:32
Speaker 2: then they're going to be stuck with things that just
45:34
Speaker 2: don't work right. So my goal is to keep kids
45:39
Speaker 2: away from transitioning as long as possible. If not, you know,
45:42
Speaker 2: convince them that they don't need it. There's so many
45:46
Speaker 2: The rate is to which I talk to parents that
45:50
Speaker 2: have little girls that want to be boys is way
45:53
Speaker 2: higher of a rate that I have parents that call
45:55
Speaker 2: me that have girl boys that want to be girls.
45:59
Speaker 2: And I think the biggest thing to do with that
46:01
Speaker 2: is that nobody believes in tomboys anymore. You have so
46:06
Speaker 2: many girls running around, like wanting to play with their brothers,
46:09
Speaker 2: wanting to play football, wanting to get on a four
46:13
Speaker 2: wheel or wanting to go hunting, wanting to build stuff,
46:16
Speaker 2: and wanting to have short hair and to just wear
46:18
Speaker 2: like loose clothing and stuff like that. So they instantly
46:21
Speaker 2: think that like, okay, I must be a boy. And
46:25
Speaker 2: the next thing you know, they're telling their mom or
46:27
Speaker 2: they're hanging out with their friends and their friends are
46:29
Speaker 2: claiming that they're non binary or whatever. So like they
46:32
Speaker 2: just think it's like, Okay, this is the right path
46:34
Speaker 2: for me. And then on top of that, you have
46:36
Speaker 2: so many parents that are just so freaking soft it's ridiculous.
46:41
Speaker 2: Like I was pretty much raised with an iron fist,
46:45
Speaker 2: and then joining the Marine Corps when I was still
46:47
Speaker 2: a kid just kind of reiterated that iron fist of
46:52
Speaker 2: like this is the way shit is. End of story.
46:54
Speaker 2: And so many parents reach out to me and they're like, well,
46:57
Speaker 2: you just you know, I love my kid and I
46:59
Speaker 2: want to support them as much as possible, no matter what.
47:01
Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, great. So, like, if your kid
47:04
Speaker 2: wants to jump off a bridge, are you going to
47:06
Speaker 2: go down there and watch them do it? They're like like, okay,
47:09
Speaker 2: if your kid wants to join the military at age twelve,
47:12
Speaker 2: are you going to sign paperwork and let them do it?
47:15
Speaker 1: Yeah?
47:15
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm like, you're gonna let them smoke weed at
47:17
Speaker 2: ten years old, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, drive a car,
47:21
Speaker 2: get a tattoo. They're like, well, no, of course not.
47:23
Speaker 2: I'm like, so then why would you alter their hormones
47:25
Speaker 2: and their body?
47:27
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes.
47:29
Speaker 2: So many of them like, well that's different. I'm like, no,
47:31
Speaker 2: it's not different. It's actually worse, like you permanently change
47:35
Speaker 2: who they are as a human being.
47:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Speaking of that, that intervention of the at
47:47
Speaker 1: estrogen or testosterinal I'm interested in because you've lived in
47:55
Speaker 1: a buy well in a bloke's body taking those supplements
48:00
Speaker 1: other than maybe testosterone when you were competing at a
48:04
Speaker 1: very high level, and then now you're not doing tea
48:08
Speaker 1: and you're doing estrogen. And how do you feel? Like
48:12
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can compare, but like energy,
48:16
Speaker 1: and like do you see the world differently? Like as
48:19
Speaker 1: your emotional state changed, you're thinking change speaking of the
48:23
Speaker 1: prefrontal corn cortex, do you is it? How is it
48:28
Speaker 1: different for the person living in that new reality?
48:33
Speaker 2: I think for me the most part that it's changed.
48:35
Speaker 2: And this has gone by like feedback from people that
48:39
Speaker 2: know me like well enough and they spend time around
48:41
Speaker 2: me before and after they say that I'm an overall
48:45
Speaker 2: calmer person and nicer and easier to get along with. Yeah, right,
48:50
Speaker 2: so that makes sense to me and I feel like
48:53
Speaker 2: I am. I have Like I was always very patient person,
49:00
Speaker 2: but now I'm way more patient. Like as a strength coach,
49:03
Speaker 2: I never gave compliments. I always identified the problem, not
49:07
Speaker 2: what they did good at. And then I started to
49:10
Speaker 2: actually compliment people, and people like, holy shit, somebody get
49:14
Speaker 2: that on recording. Dave just complimented me. It's like, oh yeah,
49:17
Speaker 2: I love that. So I think I've become a nicer
49:20
Speaker 2: and a softer individual in that aspect mentally as far
49:26
Speaker 2: as how I see the world, Like my dad was
49:29
Speaker 2: a very very calm individual, like always just super calm
49:34
Speaker 2: about any situation, very laid back, and like I feel
49:39
Speaker 2: like I've always been the same way. There's always been
49:41
Speaker 2: very few things that could really trigger me. Other than
49:43
Speaker 2: that I just be like, eh, whatever. And now it's
49:46
Speaker 2: like even less like like like like I would say
49:52
Speaker 2: I probably was an a very aggressive driver. Now not
49:56
Speaker 2: so much at all. You know. I have my moments
49:59
Speaker 2: where I like to really beat on my truck because
50:01
Speaker 2: it's a nice truck and it sounds nice. But other
50:03
Speaker 2: than that, like I get in the middle lane and
50:05
Speaker 2: the highway and just kind of cruise slowly like I'm
50:07
Speaker 2: very comfortable, which is you know, a normal driver. I
50:12
Speaker 2: don't rush around all day long with my you know,
50:15
Speaker 2: feel like my I just feel like there's so much
50:18
Speaker 2: to do and so little time to do. It like
50:20
Speaker 2: it's like tomorrow, It'll get done tomorrow. If it doesn't
50:22
Speaker 2: get done tomorrow, I get done the next day. You know,
50:24
Speaker 2: there's priorities and stuff like that. But like, just as
50:29
Speaker 2: business wise, I'm very quick to like if I get
50:33
Speaker 2: a client that I know is just going to cause
50:35
Speaker 2: me stress, like I'm just like, no, not having you.
50:38
Speaker 2: I'm all set, don't need it. I'll make money other way.
50:40
Speaker 2: If it's not enough money, I'll make it other ways,
50:44
Speaker 2: you know. And I think that would have something to
50:46
Speaker 2: do with the lack of testosterone on my body. Like
50:48
Speaker 2: and most people that transition from male to female have
50:53
Speaker 2: to go on testosterone blockers. I didn't. My test cross
50:57
Speaker 2: is actually averaging lower than most females testosterone on its own. Wow,
51:02
Speaker 2: which is like it was like another thing to be like,
51:04
Speaker 2: oh yeah, so maybe I was supposed to be a woman,
51:08
Speaker 2: Like as a little kid when I was so skinny,
51:12
Speaker 2: like I had I had guyno when I was a kid,
51:14
Speaker 2: like I had puffy nipples and everything. And wow, never
51:17
Speaker 2: way until I started like really getting serious into getting strong.
51:21
Speaker 2: So like it's like, okay, here's another thing that I
51:24
Speaker 2: realized that, like, you know, maybe my body was supposed
51:28
Speaker 2: to be female when I was a kid, but something
51:30
Speaker 2: just got crossed, you know, because I had all these
51:32
Speaker 2: thoughts and I had obviously had hormone and balances that
51:37
Speaker 2: you know, weren't prepared for as a male, you know.
51:41
Speaker 2: And when we finally when we went to get uh
51:45
Speaker 2: checked by the doctors to start having a child, like,
51:49
Speaker 2: so the first thing he said to me was like, oh,
51:50
Speaker 2: you're testosterones all like too low for you to have
51:53
Speaker 2: a baby. So they put me on HGG and that
51:56
Speaker 2: way we got pregnant that way. But it's just like, yeah,
52:00
Speaker 2: kind of explains a lot, you know. That and the
52:03
Speaker 2: fact that I was always in the shoes and girls clothing,
52:05
Speaker 2: and like, you know, I never minded going shopping with women,
52:09
Speaker 2: Like I would be like, oh, yeah, we want to
52:10
Speaker 2: go shopping for a dress school, let's go, Like I'll
52:12
Speaker 2: help you. Think I wasn't the I wasn't the husband
52:15
Speaker 2: that would stay at home being like bye, see you later,
52:17
Speaker 2: go away.
52:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to watch I'm going to watch your game.
52:22
Speaker 1: For our listeners who are like, what's gone on? Ghana
52:24
Speaker 1: is gonna camastia And it's where our body produces kind
52:29
Speaker 1: of extra estrogen and for a young boy to be
52:32
Speaker 1: doing that, it's not it's not completely rare, but it's
52:35
Speaker 1: recently uncommon, so that that is an interesting anecdote. All right,
52:39
Speaker 1: I know we've got to wind up soon, but as
52:43
Speaker 1: little or as much as you want. Once again, your family,
52:46
Speaker 1: how did your family respond to.
52:51
Speaker 2: My brother? I have two older brothers, two older sisters.
52:56
Speaker 2: My my brother that's older than me. The also the
52:59
Speaker 2: clothes to me, Me and him were very very close,
53:03
Speaker 2: and I would say he's the one that had the
53:04
Speaker 2: most problem with it. Like we had a couple of
53:07
Speaker 2: conversations about it, and you know, he was just really
53:10
Speaker 2: distraught and like couldn't wrap his head around it and
53:13
Speaker 2: stuff like that. But like after a couple of conversations,
53:16
Speaker 2: it was fine. My parents, my dad, like I said,
53:21
Speaker 2: laid back, didn't even say I don't even think he
53:23
Speaker 2: spoke when I when I told both him and my mom,
53:27
Speaker 2: and when I told my mom and I showed her
53:29
Speaker 2: a picture of me dressed as a woman, her response
53:32
Speaker 2: was literally like yeah, not surprise.
53:36
Speaker 1: Really.
53:37
Speaker 2: I'm like really, She's like, yeah, I'm not surprised, and
53:39
Speaker 2: that like not another word, not another word. That was it.
53:45
Speaker 1: Mums have got superpower dude. Their mums know shit like
53:49
Speaker 1: special fu. Yeah, yeah, like fucking yeah, weed clever, Yeah yeah.
53:56
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like maybe when like I was
53:57
Speaker 2: a kid and I was trying on her stuff, she'd
53:59
Speaker 2: probably come home and like, you know, go through a
54:02
Speaker 2: drus and be like, oh, David was in my draws again.
54:04
Speaker 1: Figures literally literally I never asked.
54:08
Speaker 2: That question, but like now I kind of want to.
54:11
Speaker 1: That is hilarious. So with do you have a that's
54:18
Speaker 1: probably the wrong term, but do you have a plan
54:20
Speaker 1: or a strategy around this? Because I feel like people,
54:27
Speaker 1: not all people, but a lot of people will really
54:30
Speaker 1: benefit from what you have to say and the wisdom
54:34
Speaker 1: and insight and experiential learning that you have. Do you
54:39
Speaker 1: want to do workshops with this? Do you want to
54:42
Speaker 1: write a book? Do you want to like, do you
54:45
Speaker 1: have a plan to have a bigger audience than doing
54:48
Speaker 1: the odd podcast here and there?
54:50
Speaker 2: So yeah, I had a woman from England reach out
54:53
Speaker 2: to me about possibly setting up a document series document
55:03
Speaker 2: So I'm in the process of getting all the entertainment
55:07
Speaker 2: lawyers and stuff like that as we speak, and going
55:11
Speaker 2: through that process and finding the right company to support
55:14
Speaker 2: me and stuff like that. I would definitely love love
55:19
Speaker 2: for people to like so many people have asked me
55:22
Speaker 2: to come to their community, like the UK, Australia, England,
55:29
Speaker 2: I mean, Canada, I mean every just about every state
55:35
Speaker 2: in the United States. But like you know, I would
55:37
Speaker 2: love to be able to do it. But like I
55:39
Speaker 2: can't just fly around everywhere for free. I need to
55:41
Speaker 2: get paid to do it. And if I could get enough,
55:44
Speaker 2: just enough to like cover expenses in my cost of
55:47
Speaker 2: living while I'm gone, like I would do it. I
55:48
Speaker 2: got this is something as a coach, Like so I
55:53
Speaker 2: went and met with like so many of the best
55:56
Speaker 2: coaches all across the world. When I was younger and
56:00
Speaker 2: first became a coach, I spent eight years like researching
56:03
Speaker 2: the best power is the best strong man, the best
56:06
Speaker 2: agility coaches, the best speed and performance coaches, and sock
56:09
Speaker 2: them out to learn from them. It cost a fortune,
56:13
Speaker 2: like so, like I would love to be able to
56:18
Speaker 2: continue to coach people. And one of the biggest things
56:22
Speaker 2: that like, I had a couple of millionaire mentors in
56:25
Speaker 2: the fitness industry that I've met with, and the first
56:28
Speaker 2: thing they said to me is, like, you care too
56:30
Speaker 2: much about other people and not enough about your income.
56:34
Speaker 2: Like it's a great trait, but at the same time,
56:37
Speaker 2: it's not a great trait because like if someone came
56:41
Speaker 2: to me and was like, hey, I need help with
56:43
Speaker 2: this and help with that, and I'm like, all right, great,
56:44
Speaker 2: let's get started. And if they came to a point
56:46
Speaker 2: where like I can't afford it, and I'd be like, Okay,
56:50
Speaker 2: well I don't want to lose like stride here, so
56:52
Speaker 2: let's just keep going. And when you could afford to
56:54
Speaker 2: pay me, you start paying me again, and eventually they
56:55
Speaker 2: would start paying me again. But sometimes I'd be training
56:57
Speaker 2: people for free for like a year, Like I just
57:00
Speaker 2: I'm so passionate about making sure people are educated that
57:03
Speaker 2: I don't look after myself.
57:06
Speaker 1: I meant, you're a good human, like you're a good person.
57:08
Speaker 2: But yeah, but at the same time, I still needs
57:10
Speaker 2: to be able to.
57:13
Speaker 1: You got to have a daughter and the kid, educate
57:16
Speaker 1: the kid, look after you.
57:18
Speaker 2: By the bill, we would love to speak to everybody
57:21
Speaker 2: as long as, like, you know, speaking would be great,
57:24
Speaker 2: But I would definitely love to, uh do a documentary
57:28
Speaker 2: document documentary. And I kind of feel like I hate
57:32
Speaker 2: to say this, but I kind of feel like if
57:34
Speaker 2: I started going and doing public speaking. Like I hate
57:40
Speaker 2: to say this, but this is really how I feel
57:42
Speaker 2: like Charlie Kirk did, and just start speaking publicly all
57:46
Speaker 2: over the place that eventually somebody's come out and probably
57:48
Speaker 2: put a bullet in me. They're just gonna be like, yeah,
57:50
Speaker 2: we don't like you.
57:52
Speaker 1: Really, Oh yeah, I really feel that.
57:56
Speaker 2: Like I do. I feel like this is like there's
57:58
Speaker 2: so much hate in the world. I mean, I've gotten
58:01
Speaker 2: threats like that through Instagram and TikTok, like where people
58:05
Speaker 2: are just like, you know, it's not too hard to
58:07
Speaker 2: find out where you live, Like I can do this,
58:09
Speaker 2: and I can do that, and like, you know, some
58:12
Speaker 2: other people are like you're a po and you need
58:14
Speaker 2: to go and hang yourself and like just spend some
58:16
Speaker 2: pretty crazy death threats on a regular basis, you know.
58:20
Speaker 2: So it's like and all this because I just want
58:24
Speaker 2: to talk common sense and it's it's it's a sad
58:26
Speaker 2: world we live in today. So it's like, you know,
58:30
Speaker 2: I told my friend I was, like, the one thing
58:32
Speaker 2: I would do if I would do it is a
58:33
Speaker 2: common sense approach. I would do it from behind bulletproof class.
58:37
Speaker 1: You and the Pope and the President. Yeah, da Dabiana
58:42
Speaker 1: Pope President be Hand Bulletproof Class. I love talking to you.
58:47
Speaker 1: I love meeting you. I love your authenticity and your
58:53
Speaker 1: willingness to be super brave and super vulnerable. So I'd
58:57
Speaker 1: like to talk more. Maybe we'll get you back in
59:00
Speaker 1: the day if that's possible, possible, But thank you. Tell
59:04
Speaker 1: people where they can connect with you, find you, follow you,
59:09
Speaker 1: or come and train with you for one thousand dollars
59:11
Speaker 1: an hour.
59:12
Speaker 2: One thousand dollars an hour. Wow, that's a hell of
59:15
Speaker 2: a price. So you can find me on TikTok as
59:18
Speaker 2: the common Sense Life Coach our coach Daviana. You can
59:21
Speaker 2: find me on Instagram as Daviana Underscore one, Underscore and
59:27
Speaker 2: Underscore Only, and Facebook as Strength Discovery or David Newmont.
59:32
Speaker 1: Yeah. So nice to meet you and learn about you.
59:35
Speaker 1: Hay Tiff, good good get by you.
59:39
Speaker 2: Thanks, thanks again, Daviana, Thank you good job sitting there
59:43
Speaker 2: being silent.
59:44
Speaker 1: I know that. Do you know how hard that is
59:46
Speaker 1: for her. It's like putting her, putting her in front
59:49
Speaker 1: of the fridge and saying donat for an hour. Mate.
59:54
Speaker 1: We'll say goodbye off air. But appreciate you so much.
59:58
Speaker 2: Thank you. I appreciate it,