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Be Determined, Be Detached: A Powerful Communication Secret · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:00
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson and this is How to Talk to Humans.
• 0:04
  Larry Wilson: This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills.
• 0:10
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to get a better job?
• 0:12
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to find a relationship?
• 0:15
  Larry Wilson: Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far?
• 0:22
  Larry Wilson: I can show you so easily how to change that.
• 0:25
  Larry Wilson: Now, I can only do it with humans.
• 0:27
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies extraterrestrial, this is not the show field.
• 0:33
  Larry Wilson: But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned for 40 years in the show business working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world.
• 0:47
  Larry Wilson: And their secrets are unbelievable.
• 0:52
  Larry Wilson: What I'm going to be teaching you during the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success.
• 1:05
  Larry Wilson: I'm delighted to see Glenn here.
• 1:09
  Larry Wilson: And uh you know, I almost feel obliged because I know Glenn had a strange weekend, so I'm going to provide some laughs today.
• 1:20
  Larry Wilson: And they aren't necessarily my laughs, they or maybe they are my laughs, but they're other people's jokes.
• 1:27
  Larry Wilson: You'll see what I mean.
• 1:29
  Larry Wilson: But as always, I I feel there's an inexhaustible amount of information to talk about when it comes to communication.
• 1:47
  Larry Wilson: There, Glenn is also showing you if you run short of answers, consult the eight ball.
• 1:53
  Larry Wilson: Can't argue with that.
• 1:55
  Larry Wilson: The eight ball is never wrong.
• 1:57
  Larry Wilson: Never wrong.
• 1:58
  Larry Wilson: But uh you know, I think I mentioned on another episode of this at one time or another, when I was very young, I saw William F.
• 2:11
  Larry Wilson: Buckley Jr.
• 2:12
  Larry Wilson: on television.
• 2:14
  Larry Wilson: Now, uh, those of you who aren't familiar with him, I should be quick to point out, as a kid, I had no idea what he was talking about.
• 2:23
  Larry Wilson: He was a political commentator, uh, gadfly, pundit, um and writer.
• 2:32
  Larry Wilson: Uh and a writer, of course.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, storyteller.
• 2:39
  Larry Wilson: Incredible storyteller.
• 2:41
  Larry Wilson: Not only, for those who don't know, wrote a number of uh novels with us, I never read them, but I had seen that they existed, about a spy, a dashing debonair devil make air spy.
• 2:56
  Larry Wilson: And uh I remember as a kid, I was so surprised by that.
• 3:01
  Larry Wilson: I thought, I thought this guy was like a serious news guy.
• 3:06
  Larry Wilson: And of course, what appealed to me, and what I know all of you will instantly understand, is the way he sounded.
• 3:18
  Larry Wilson: That Buckley had this very idiosyncratic delivery.
• 3:24
  Larry Wilson: He was an intellectual, and he was obviously a very smart guy, and he would have this weird sort of drawing thing, and I I mimicked him when I was a kid.
• 3:38
  Larry Wilson: I was like 11 or 12 years old, and adults thought this was hilarious.
• 3:42
  Larry Wilson: I didn't really get what he was saying.
• 3:44
  Larry Wilson: But I remember a thing of Buckley saying on his show, he always had this thing where he would lean his head back and his eyes would sort of, you know, he'd open them very said, now, now, if I want to send my children to parochial school, I think I should be allowed to send my children to parochial school.
• 4:05
  Larry Wilson: I mean, just this very weird delivery.
• 4:08
  Larry Wilson: And of course, the reason I bring it up is because he did not try to make himself look or sound like anyone else.
• 4:24
  Larry Wilson: And I hope that all of you take this to heart.
• 4:28
  Larry Wilson: You've heard me say again and again that communication is human.
• 4:34
  Larry Wilson: The more human you can be, the more powerful your communication will be in everything, in business, in relationships, in your whole life, philosophically, everything you do will be much more powerful, and it makes you compelling.
• 4:57
  Larry Wilson: I mean, as a kid, I I wanted to I didn't understand what this guy was talking about.
• 5:03
  Larry Wilson: He was talking about complicated political notions and ideas.
• 5:08
  Larry Wilson: I didn't know what he was talking about, but I love the way he spoke, and I love the way he sounded, and all of you can do this, all of you.
• 5:21
  Larry Wilson: Now, of course, you know, uh Glenn mentioned Storyteller about William F.
• 5:28
  Larry Wilson: Buckley Jr.
• 5:29
  Larry Wilson: And of course, I can't emphasize this enough.
• 5:35
  Larry Wilson: I think in our last month's training, I think uh we were talking about this, sometimes I remind you of things that I think you might have forgotten, but I frequently subscribe to what I call the one thing principle, or maybe it's one thing rule, I don't know what you call it.
• 5:53
  Larry Wilson: And that is in situations like this training or like a master class or a special interaction with someone, or if you go to a place to get educated, about anything.
• 6:07
  Larry Wilson: My thinking always is if I get one thing that's really useful, I mean, just one thing, this will have been a huge success.
• 6:21
  Larry Wilson: And I know that some of you, it's hard to think of those things that way.
• 6:25
  Larry Wilson: You think, oh, well, you know, there's a lot of information, I've got to get it all.
• 6:29
  Larry Wilson: Uh sometimes that may just not be possible because there's too much going on, and there's too much coming at you.
• 6:36
  Larry Wilson: Now, if you can get more than one thing, fantastic.
• 6:39
  Larry Wilson: But if you get one thing, just one powerful thing.
• 6:46
  Larry Wilson: Uh, you've heard me talk before about my friend uh Barry Friedman, who uh has special training for people who are entertainers.
• 6:58
  Larry Wilson: And I've told him this again and again, and I think I've gone on record on video for him saying one of the most valuable things I ever got from him, and I got a lot, very valuable, but he said he didn't call it a mantra, but I would call it a mantra.
• 7:19
  Larry Wilson: You have to approach all these clients who are inquiring about you and you're creating proposals for you're approaching.
• 7:27
  Larry Wilson: He said, You must be determined and detached, and I never thought of that before.
• 7:39
  Larry Wilson: Glenn's giving it the thumbs up.
• 7:41
  Larry Wilson: It's so simple, and you think, I don't need someone to tell me that.
• 7:46
  Larry Wilson: Well, I certainly did, because I realized that sometimes I wasn't as determined if someone started to rebuff me or said, Oh, this sounds too expensive, or I'm not sure if this is whatever they did.
• 8:02
  Larry Wilson: I would start to back off and just think, okay, let it go.
• 8:06
  Larry Wilson: And Barry's thing was, no, don't be rude, but be determined and detached.
• 8:14
  Larry Wilson: That is, I also would take everything so personally.
• 8:19
  Larry Wilson: I would think, oh God, they don't like me.
• 8:22
  Larry Wilson: It's me they do.
• 8:24
  Larry Wilson: And of course, what Barry's trying to point out is in entertainment, and this applies in other pursuits, other places in the real world, sometimes we don't know what's going on with people.
• 8:37
  Larry Wilson: Maybe they just stub their toe.
• 8:39
  Larry Wilson: Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all.
• 8:42
  Larry Wilson: But especially if you don't really have a relationship with them.
• 8:47
  Larry Wilson: If you haven't, you know, it's one thing if it's someone you know very well and you're close to, that's a different situation.
• 8:53
  Larry Wilson: But in entertainment, you frequently are interacting with people you've just met and may never speak with again.
• 9:02
  Larry Wilson: And Barry's idea that you must be detached about this.
• 9:06
  Larry Wilson: You're going to listen to them, Wilson method, active listening, so that you can create a proposal for them or an offer of some kind that shows them when we actively listen, our responses indicate without us saying, that we're really listening.
• 9:31
  Larry Wilson: We hear you, we see you.
• 9:33
  Larry Wilson: And if it's whatever it is, whatever business you may be in, I I swear to you, it doesn't matter what business you're in.
• 9:45
  Larry Wilson: If there's potential clients, this makes a huge impact on them when they feel like you actually see them.
• 9:55
  Larry Wilson: They're bombarded day and night, week in, week out.
• 9:59
  Larry Wilson: They're bombarded by people trying to sell stuff.
• 10:02
  Larry Wilson: And it's like, you know, they're trying to sell stuff that to people who have no need for it.
• 10:09
  Larry Wilson: You know, it's somebody who uh, you know, is trying to sell uh swimming pools in Siberia or something, you know, some somebody who has no need for whatever it is or something, they don't care.
• 10:22
  Larry Wilson: They're just gonna come at everybody the same.
• 10:24
  Larry Wilson: Well, we all instantly have the reaction of we just turn off.
• 10:31
  Larry Wilson: If you're rude enough, you may just hang up on them if they're on the phone.
• 10:35
  Larry Wilson: Or if it's in person, you may say, you know what, I'm done, I'm out of here.
• 10:39
  Larry Wilson: But maybe sometimes you're trying to be polite or civil, and so you put up with and you listen, but you're not going to purchase their goods or services because it has nothing to do with you.
• 10:53
  Larry Wilson: Now, if you were using Wilson method, if you were actively listening, instead of just waiting for when it was your turn to pitch, you'd know what was going on.
• 11:04
  Larry Wilson: Oh, I see Glenn has raised his hand.
• 11:06
  Larry Wilson: Yes, Glenn.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: When I do Santa, I'm doing two things simultaneously.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: The parents want the photo.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's all they want.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's all they want is the photo.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: The kids don't care about the photo.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: They want to be seen and they want to be heard.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's all they want.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: They want to be seen and heard.
• 11:29
  Larry Wilson: I mean, it's again, seems so obvious, but it's amazing how many people do not see this glen.
• 11:37
  Larry Wilson: Because of course you're right.
• 11:38
  Larry Wilson: Of course you're 100% correct.
• 11:41
  Larry Wilson: That children have little, if any, power of any kind.
• 11:48
  Larry Wilson: They don't have money, they don't have jobs, they don't have cars, uh, they can't, you know, say this is what's going to happen, and everyone pays attention, does they don't.
• 11:59
  Larry Wilson: Nobody listens to them.
• 12:01
  Larry Wilson: Maybe if they're lucky, once in a while, someone asks them, how do you feel, or what's going on.
• 12:07
  Larry Wilson: Maybe.
• 12:08
  Larry Wilson: But it but in general, that feeling of being heard and being seen is incredible, and that's what makes real connections.
• 12:20
  Larry Wilson: So, those of you who may not know, that Glenn does a number of different acts as a performer, but coming up soon, he will be doing Santa in a number of places around the uh San Francisco Bay Area.
• 12:36
  Larry Wilson: And he is a fantastic Santa.
• 12:38
  Larry Wilson: I mean, really great Santa.
• 12:40
  Larry Wilson: And you can tell why by that comment he just made, that he understands there's parents and then there's kids.
• 12:47
  Larry Wilson: And they're both sort of clients, but they want different things.
• 12:51
  Larry Wilson: So this one thing principle I was telling you that came from Barry Friedman was to be determined and detached, so that whatever the outcome, it's okay.
• 13:06
  Larry Wilson: Whatever the outcome.
• 13:08
  Larry Wilson: If they say, uh, I have to think about it, or they say, maybe next year, or they say, Don't ever contact me again, I'll have you arrested, whatever it is, it's okay.
• 13:20
  Larry Wilson: It's all right.
• 13:21
  Larry Wilson: And I have to tell you, it has served me so well, in conjunction with being determined.
• 13:30
  Larry Wilson: I've contacted people who I was in contact with literally for months, maybe four, five, six months, and then finally, like just radio silence.
• 13:44
  Larry Wilson: They weren't responding to my emails or texts.
• 13:47
  Larry Wilson: I just gave up.
• 13:48
  Larry Wilson: And in one case, I was just so irritated by it.
• 13:52
  Larry Wilson: I contacted this person like a week before their event.
• 13:55
  Larry Wilson: I hadn't talked to them literally in months, two, three months.
• 13:58
  Larry Wilson: And I got someone at their office and they said, Oh, well, he's out in the field, but I could give you his cell phone number.
• 14:05
  Larry Wilson: I said, Okay.
• 14:07
  Larry Wilson: Now, in the past, I would never have done that.
• 14:10
  Larry Wilson: I would have thought, oh, that's, you know, that's invading someone's privacy.
• 14:15
  Larry Wilson: But I'm trying to be determined.
• 14:18
  Larry Wilson: I'm not trying to ram anything down your throat.
• 14:21
  Larry Wilson: I just want you to either say yes or no.
• 14:25
  Larry Wilson: And that's also a Barry Friedman thing, is that he says, you keep coming after them until they book you or they say no.
• 14:36
  Larry Wilson: And I thought, well, this is crazy.
• 14:37
  Larry Wilson: But I was just so irritated that I did it.
• 14:40
  Larry Wilson: And I get the guy on his cell phone, he goes, Oh, yeah, yeah, I guess that's coming up next week.
• 14:45
  Larry Wilson: Uh, I guess we should just book you.
• 14:47
  Larry Wilson: Uh how do we do that?
• 14:49
  Larry Wilson: I said, I'm gonna send you an electronic invoice right now for a deposit.
• 14:54
  Larry Wilson: And he said, Okay, okay, send it to this email.
• 14:58
  Larry Wilson: And to my astonishment, they paid it instantly.
• 15:01
  Larry Wilson: And I came and it was a fantastic show, and they loved it.
• 15:03
  Larry Wilson: And I thought, I would never have attempted this in the past if I had not heard this mantra, determined and detached.
• 15:15
  Larry Wilson: So I tell you this as the one thing rule, because sometimes it can be something as simple as you being your most human version.
• 15:32
  Larry Wilson: This has been Larry Wilson.
• 15:34
  Larry Wilson: I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope you found this information useful.
• 15:41
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking for more, you can find it at thewilsonmethod.com.
• 15:46
  Larry Wilson: There's a ton of stuff there.
• 15:48
  Larry Wilson: That if you want, you can speak to me because thank you.
• 15:54
  Larry Wilson: Send me an email at info at wilsonmethod.com because I read every single one.
• 16:04
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey.
• 16:09
  Larry Wilson: And you'll be with me for the next episode of How to Talk to You.