Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #255 D.O.S.E

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#255 D.O.S.E · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
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  Speaker 2: once answers me.
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  Speaker 1: Now it's really simple. We feel awesome when there's strong connection.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
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  Speaker 1: and dad. Hello. This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder
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  Speaker 1: of Happy Families dot com dot IU and the author
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  Speaker 1: of six books about helping families to be happy. I'm
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  Speaker 1: here with Kylie, missus Happy Families, who was feeling a
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  Speaker 1: little bit proud of herself today because the Jim journey continues.
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  Speaker 1: What's your latest accomplishment, honey.
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  Speaker 3: Well, a couple of days ago, I had to do
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  Speaker 3: a strengths test to see how well I could squat.
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  Speaker 1: Are you getting stronger?
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  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know because it was the first time.
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  Speaker 1: Oh a great starf I have did their squats and
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  Speaker 1: but I said squat's and then said, but because Scott's
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  Speaker 1: a good for you anyway. Sorry, you have never what
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  Speaker 1: I have.
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  Speaker 3: Never squatted with a thirty five kilo bar before, so
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  Speaker 3: that was pretty exciting.
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  Speaker 1: So you've done squats, proper squats with weights in the
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  Speaker 1: gym and you're progressing.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, don't talk to me about chin ups yet, though.
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  Speaker 1: Did you try it, try it didn't go well.
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  Speaker 3: Let's just say I'm at the very very beginning of
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  Speaker 3: that journey, and my feet I'm not yet leaving the ground.
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  Speaker 1: Right. So, what we're talking about today is the drugs
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  Speaker 1: that are now kids' brains. Not drugs, but the neurotransmit
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  Speaker 1: is the hormones that are buzzing around our children's brains,
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  Speaker 1: and what we can do to help them to be
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  Speaker 1: happier by getting the brain chemicals right without having to
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  Speaker 1: take any supplements, without having to do any pharmacological intervention.
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  Speaker 1: Research tells us there's a bunch of things that we
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  Speaker 1: can do to help our children to get more of
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  Speaker 1: the right kinds of brain chemicals so that they can
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  Speaker 1: be happier and not have depression and anxiety. Hey, actually,
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  Speaker 1: you know what this actually ties in with something that
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  Speaker 1: I did want to mention, which is a new screen
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  Speaker 1: issue that's come up. I've really been beating up on
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  Speaker 1: screens lately, but I think that I've got good reason
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  Speaker 1: for it. You know, Facebook owns Instagram. Uh huh, Well,
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  Speaker 1: Facebook is now building an Instagram for kids under the
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  Speaker 1: age of thirteen. Executives at Instagram are planning to build
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  Speaker 1: a version of the popular photo sharing app that can
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  Speaker 1: be used by children under the age of thirteen, according
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  Speaker 1: to an internal company post obtained by BuzzFeed News. I
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  Speaker 1: just read that and I thought this makes sense from
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  Speaker 1: a marketing point of view, But how many parents are
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  Speaker 1: actually out there saying to Facebook and Instagram, can we
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  Speaker 1: please get this for our kids, like we really want
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  Speaker 1: our kids on this, right? I think the answer would
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  Speaker 1: be a grand total of zero.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe during the pandemic.
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  Speaker 3: Actually, I think I was getting receiving a significant number
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  Speaker 3: of invites for our children to participate on kids Messenger. Yeah, Facebook,
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  Speaker 3: Kids Messenger, Right, And while I think it's wonderful that
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  Speaker 3: our kids have an opportunity to connect socially, why my
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  Speaker 3: ten year old does not need Messenger, not.
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  Speaker 1: As your seven year old, our seven year old, your
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  Speaker 1: ten year old, my ten year old, our ten year old,
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  Speaker 1: our seven year old. No, they're really just saying, we
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  Speaker 1: know that we can create a bigger market for ourselves
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  Speaker 1: if we get kids under the age of thirteen using
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  Speaker 1: this stuff, and they're literally finding ways to do I'll
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  Speaker 1: post the link to this in the show notes, but
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  Speaker 1: that again, it ties in with this idea. Emily's really
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  Speaker 1: happy because she's outside being active, she's doing all this stuff,
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  Speaker 1: and Facebook recognizes that the same brain chemicals that are
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  Speaker 1: boosting her well being while she's doing chin ups and
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  Speaker 1: push ups and jumping on the trampoline and running around
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  Speaker 1: the backyard with no shoes on because she refuses to
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  Speaker 1: wear them, those same brain chemicals can be harnessed to
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  Speaker 1: compel her to use a screen more and to get
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  Speaker 1: hooked on Facebook and Instagram. So I thought we should
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  Speaker 1: have a talk about what those brain chemicals are. There's
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  Speaker 1: over one hundred, by the way, over one hundred neurochemicals,
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  Speaker 1: and they do three things. They either excite, which means
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  Speaker 1: that they encourage more communication within the brain, or they inhibit,
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  Speaker 1: which means that they reduce communication between the brain cells
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  Speaker 1: and the brain. Or they modulate. And I want to
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  Speaker 1: talk about the four probably most popular brain cells. And
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  Speaker 1: they're easy to remember as well. If you can remember that,
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  Speaker 1: you need to give yourself a good dose of these
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  Speaker 1: brain cells. You know what they are, dose dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, dophin.
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  Speaker 1: That's it. They get you so excited.
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  Speaker 2: So let's talk about dopamine.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you know about dopamine?
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  Speaker 2: Well, I think that it's the happy drug.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what everybody not not drug happy, neurochemical because
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  Speaker 1: but it's interesting you use the term drugs with that
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  Speaker 1: because a lot of drugs actually go for the dopamine receptors.
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  Speaker 1: That's why things like cocaine and heroine are so addictive
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  Speaker 1: because they fix themselves to the dopamine receptors, keep the
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  Speaker 1: dopamine in the blood cell longer, and give people these
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  Speaker 1: chemical highs.
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  Speaker 2: Well, you know we talk about getting a dopamine hit.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a drug, but you know,
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  Speaker 1: dopamine is not necessarily what makes us happy. Dopemine is
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  Speaker 1: really heavily involved in anticipation. Dope meine is the brain chemical.
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  Speaker 2: I've got a party this weekend, and I'm so excited.
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  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
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  Speaker 1: It's the dopamine that gets your buzzing. You're not at
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  Speaker 1: the party. Something else we'll kick in at the party,
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  Speaker 1: But it's the dope mean that gets your buzzing as
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  Speaker 1: you think about that really cool thing that's happening. And
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  Speaker 1: this is part of the reason why when we talk
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  Speaker 1: about kids.
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  Speaker 2: About it, when we get to go to the bathroom
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  Speaker 2: all by ourselves, this one is.
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  Speaker 1: That the dopamine starts.
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  Speaker 2: I think that it starts to kick in.
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  Speaker 1: The kids are in front of the telly, I can
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  Speaker 1: go to the bathroom and I'm going to be safe.
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  Speaker 2: I get to have a shower today.
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  Speaker 1: So dope meine is all about pleasure and reward. It's
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  Speaker 1: part of the rewards center, primarily in the prefront of cortex,
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  Speaker 1: but other parts of the brain as well. Don't mean
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  Speaker 1: actually does a lot of things. But if you want
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  Speaker 1: to boost dopamine in your kids, you help them to
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  Speaker 1: feel a sense of accomplishment. You give them things to
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  Speaker 1: look forward to, You get them playing and laughing, and
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  Speaker 1: you give them food. Food. You give them food. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: so I.
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  Speaker 3: Would have to say that Ella gets a huge amount
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  Speaker 3: of dopamine every time she walks in the door and
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  Speaker 3: she smells dinner.
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  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Mom, are you cooking? This is going to
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  Speaker 1: be the best dinner ever. So they're the things that
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  Speaker 1: you can do to boost your kids dopamine. Let's come
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  Speaker 1: back after the break and talk about oxytocin, serotonin and
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  Speaker 1: endorphin so that we can give our children those experiences
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  Speaker 1: that provide a big ghosts of what makes us happy.
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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: Our screens creating tension at home. Tweens, Teens and Screens
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  Speaker 4: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen solutions.
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  Speaker 4: Bye today at happyfamilies dot com, dot au slash shop.
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  Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time
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  Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers now, and today we
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  Speaker 3: are talking about neurological highs.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, the chemicals that our brain produces naturally when we're
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  Speaker 1: doing the right stuff, so that we can be happy
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  Speaker 1: and not depressed, so that we can have energy and
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  Speaker 1: not anxiety, and particularly how we can help our children
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  Speaker 1: to feel good about life.
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  Speaker 3: So you gave us an acronym before dose, D for dopamine,
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  Speaker 3: O for oxytocin, S for serotonin, and E for endorphins.
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  Speaker 3: So we talked about dopamine. Tell me a bit about oxytocin.
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  Speaker 3: What is it responsible for love?
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  Speaker 2: Love?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the social bonding neurochemical and it's really simple.
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  Speaker 1: We feel awesome when there's strong connection. So if you
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  Speaker 1: want to have happy kids, one of the best things
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  Speaker 1: that you can do is boost their oxytocin levels. And
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  Speaker 1: you do that, well, how do you show up to
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  Speaker 1: our kids?
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  Speaker 2: Lots of cuddles and kisses.
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  Speaker 1: And that's pretty much it. So they need.
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  Speaker 2: Hugs, snuggle time and bedad.
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  Speaker 1: Yep compliments, feeling close. It doesn't have to always be interpersonal, though,
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  Speaker 1: like playing with a pet can release a whole lot
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  Speaker 1: of oxytocin because it's just about bonding. You don't bond
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  Speaker 1: with a phone or a tablet or a screen.
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  Speaker 2: There's not a whole lot of turtle or a snake.
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  Speaker 1: I reckon. Some kids probably do, so that's our oxytocin.
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  Speaker 1: You want to help your kids to be happy, boost
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  Speaker 1: them up with dopamine by giving them something to look
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  Speaker 1: forward to, and absolutely hit them with hugs because those
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  Speaker 1: hugs release that oxytocin.
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  Speaker 2: What about serotonin.
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  Speaker 1: This is a really interesting one because we've talked about
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  Speaker 1: excitatory neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, but sarah crotonin is
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  Speaker 1: more of an inhibitor. This one's slowing you down kind
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  Speaker 1: of neurochemical, and it's so important for just being stable
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  Speaker 1: and level and peaceful and feeling good about life. Serotonin's
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  Speaker 1: heavily involved in appetite. Interestingly, this is a factory about
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  Speaker 1: serotonin that most people don't know because people think that
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  Speaker 1: anything serotonin related means this is a brain chemical, and
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  Speaker 1: therefore we take SSRIs, the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, to
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  Speaker 1: overcome depression. But mostly you find serotonin in the intestines
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  Speaker 1: and gut. In fact, people talk often about the importance
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  Speaker 1: of gut health, and we've got a whole lot of
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  Speaker 1: brain cells that connect to our gut, and serotonin is
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  Speaker 1: as much in our brain, in fact, it's even more
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  Speaker 1: in our gut. And this is why kids get angry, right,
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  Speaker 1: this is why we get angry because when the serotonin
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  Speaker 1: is low and we're not eating enough and we're not
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  Speaker 1: getting the food that we need, we're not getting those
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  Speaker 1: nutrients that we need, our serotonin goes low. It's not
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  Speaker 1: inhibiting the negative mood, and all of a sudden we
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  Speaker 1: feel lousy. So we've got to help our body to
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  Speaker 1: produce enough for serotonin that we can be happy. And
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  Speaker 1: this is especially important for kids.
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  Speaker 2: So how do we help our children get a good
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  Speaker 2: dose of serotonin.
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  Speaker 1: The same way that we would get it ourselves. And
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  Speaker 1: if you think about the idea of being stable, that
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  Speaker 1: gives you a clue for the kinds of activities that
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  Speaker 1: you might do to boost serotonin.
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  Speaker 3: I had a conversation with a friend earlier today actually
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  Speaker 3: about this very thing. She's going on her very first
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  Speaker 3: camping trip. Wow, And she just had a phone call
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  Speaker 3: from the organizer, her friend, who said, Lord, the weekend's
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  Speaker 3: not looking good.
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  Speaker 2: It's going to rain. And she's like, I can't do it.
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  Speaker 2: I can't do it in the rain where there's going
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  Speaker 2: to be mud and you know where did It's just
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  Speaker 2: all a bit too much.
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  Speaker 3: And I said, you know what I said, because you've
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  Speaker 3: never done it before, I said, you are starting to
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  Speaker 3: think about all of the things that you don't have
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  Speaker 3: control over. I said, the great thing about camping is
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  Speaker 3: once you get there, everything just stops.
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  Speaker 2: Hmm, everything stops and you just get to.
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  Speaker 1: Enjoy, even in the rain, in the rain. So camping
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  Speaker 1: is not on my list of how to boost serotonin,
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  Speaker 1: but being in the sun and being in nature and
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  Speaker 1: slowing down are exactly what does. And now that you've
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  Speaker 1: said that, I can't believe I didn't put it on
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  Speaker 1: my list. Great insight. We should go camping in the
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  Speaker 1: rain this weekend as well. Let's do it. I want
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  Speaker 1: to go.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know what the hormone is I'm getting before
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  Speaker 3: I go camping, though, because it's a pretty stressful process.
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  Speaker 1: Getting packed for camp. I think that's called adrenaline. Epinephrine
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  Speaker 1: is the fancy word for that one. So okay, last one, well, well,
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  Speaker 1: just before you do the other. One that's really great
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  Speaker 1: for serotonin is mindfulness meditation, beautiful for building serotonin into
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  Speaker 1: the lives of our children and giving them a good
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  Speaker 1: dose of what will make them feel stable, calm, content.
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  Speaker 2: Last one in dolphins.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, this one's not gonna make you calm, okay me. Well,
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  Speaker 1: in dolphins are nature's natural painkiller, and we feel the
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  Speaker 1: biggest rush of endorphins when we are laughing or when
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: we're exercising.
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  Speaker 2: That's interesting because the exercise I've been doing lately is
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  Speaker 2: actually hurting me.
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  Speaker 3: I'm feeling a lot of pain, not painkillers.
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  Speaker 1: I'm feeling pad. But right now you're laughing about it,
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  Speaker 1: and it doesn't feel so bad anymore, does it. So
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  Speaker 1: that's it. It's that simple. Make your kids happier by
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  Speaker 1: giving them a good dose of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and indorphins.
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  Speaker 2: I love it. Let's go exercise.
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  Speaker 1: I think that we should have a good lie down first,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: We hope that you've enjoyed the podcast. The Happy Family's podcast
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  Speaker 1: is produced by Justin Rulan from Bridge Media and Craig
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Bruce is our executive producer. If you want more info
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: about how you can make your family happy, there's a
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: couple of things you need to know about. First off,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: we've got a fantastic summer with eight world leading experts
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: in little People and Big Emotions. It's called Little People,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Big Feelings and it's coming up in a couple of weeks.
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  Speaker 1: You can get all the info at our Facebook page,
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  Speaker 1: Doctor Justin Coulson's Happy Families. Also, I wanted to highlight
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: we haven't done this for a while, but every now
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: and again I think that it's really nice just acknowledge
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: that people do jump onto Apple podcasts and say nice
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: things about the podcast. And we got a review that
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: came from this nickname Stuff is Crazy, who gave us
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: five stars, said love it. Fantastic podcast, easy listening, light, harder,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: but sensible and realistic advice able to apply practical solutions
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  Speaker 1: to sometimes not so easy situations that we all face
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  Speaker 1: in everyday family lives. So thank you this nickname stuff
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  Speaker 1: is Crazy. We appreciate that If you'd like more info
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: about making your family happier, either through the Little People,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Big Feelings Summit or through our Happy Families memberships, you
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: can get everything that you need at happy families dot com,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: dot a u