Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E20 - Steve and Jeff Host a Spelling Bee

Transcript

S3 E20 - Steve and Jeff Host a Spelling Bee · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast at Steve's mom's house.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: That is be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: Well, hey, thank you, Johnny, and great to be back in the studio.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: Jeff, how's it going?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's going good.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: How's it going with you, Steve?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's going good, although, you know, for a long time I had trouble, I had a lot of trouble sleeping.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: You know, because I was worried.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_03: I was worried about a lot of stuff.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I was worried about, well, started to worry about my 401k, of course, you know, like a lot of people.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Kept me awake.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: But, you know, finally, finally, I realized that all I need to do, I'll be fine.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_03: All I need to do is defer my retirement age to 175.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: And then I can get social security.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know, my dog told me that I could get social security at 175.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: So finally, once I realized that, oh, now I've been able to get some sleep, but I've had some really bad dreams lately.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, you know, I don't know about bad, but confusing.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's strange, weird dreams, you know.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: It sort of reminds me.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember we did that episode with the uh dream lady?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, did it have to do with stuff you eat or something?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: Wasn't it like you you dream what you eat?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: You know, Jeff, we have done so much in the dream area.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: We did a show about food and dreams, and then we did a show about dream interpretation.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: We have really plowed the dream field, the field of dreams, one could call it.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, dreams based on what I eat, there's a direct relationship there, you know, because I basically am on a diet of edibles.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, I I eat those edibles and then I have these dreams.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And at one point I switched to joints, but that really didn't help either.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: But since I switched to joints, I sleep like a baby, like a stoned, really high baby.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, yeah, like a stoned baby.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, so let me just ask you two questions.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Not like I I really have any idea what you should do about this, but when you have these dreams, do you have see?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: I I did those edibles, so I don't remember the two questions.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: But but regardless, I'm gonna hang up and listen for my answer.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if those were two questions or not.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: I kind of lost count along the way, but I can't believe that I'm saying this.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: But this is how bad it is.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: I can't even believe that I'm saying this, but maybe you can help me figure out what my dream means.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like the one I had last night be a good example.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, no problem.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want me to begin answering your about your dream?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, wait, wait.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: Begin, begin.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I I haven't told you my dream yet.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: See, I gotta tell you the dream and then you tell me what it means.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's you know, I it's uh see I'm not good at this, Steve.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_03: Steve, I'm just good at this.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's the edibles, you know.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: It's that diet of edibles.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: You know, see, I I I'm on a diet too.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_03: I I I went on the diet of worms, and a lot of people think that's just a papal bull.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: But hey, Martin Luther lost 60 pounds on the diet of worms.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: So hey, you know, I'm I'm all over it, but but I digress.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: So maybe I should take an edible right now.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: I just to be on the same wavelength.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: Here, yeah, that would be good, but but in the meantime, give me an idea on what this dream is about.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, well, anyway, here's your dream.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, raspberry flavor.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's kind of nice.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_03: They don't have a lot of these.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: I've watermelon is those are so good.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Boy, these are good.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, uh okay, so here's the dream.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, it starts with a married woman named Harriet.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that was my sister's name.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I ever told you this.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this is not something we should probably put on the show, but I used to make fun of Harriet's name when she was young when I was she had kind of this like hair.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I would call her Harry Harriet.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, so are you sure it was she was Harriet or was it your wife, Teresa?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: No, it was definitely Harriet.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, and she and she looked like a Harriet in the dream, if you know if you get what I'm saying.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she looked like a Harriet.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_03: She was very, very sick, very ill.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, she was so ill she was on her deathbed.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, is is Harriet dying?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I I really need to call her because that's haven't been in touch with her for a while.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: See, see, I don't this is a different Harriet.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's not your sister Harriet, I don't think.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, in this one dream, she was very ill.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, she died.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: She was so ill that she was dead in the dream.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's how ill she was.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: And how's my brother doing?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: Don't know, he wasn't in the dream, but you know, you might want to call him.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: But anyway, so in the in the dream, Harriet goes up into heaven and there's an angel waiting for her.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: So the angel says, I'm I'm gonna try to do an angel voice here.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: You are only allowed into heaven if you can spell a word for me.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: So Harriet says, Ah, hey, I'm pretty good at spelling.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: What's the word?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: So the angel says, The word is love.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: So Harriet L-O-V-E, love.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know, just like in the spelling bee, they spell it and they say the words.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: Usually they say the word first, spell it, and then yeah.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, Harriet, it's like you know, it's been a long time since she's been in the spelling bee, so she kind of forgot.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: But sure.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_03: So she spells that.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: Angel says, Excellent, and welcome to heaven.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: But before you come through the pearly gates, can you do me a favor and watch the gate for me?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: I have to go to the bathroom.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um angels have to go to the bathroom?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: I I do see, I don't know.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: I I gotta read up on this.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: That doesn't sound legit to me, but anyway, it was a dream.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, yeah, what are you gonna do, right?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: So so the angel continues, and if someone comes up to the gate while I'm gone, you know what to say, right?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: Harry says, Oh, I sure do, yes, I do.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: And so the angel flies away, flies to the bathroom.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_03: I you know, what the heck?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's there's one 20 feet away, but no, he flies to one in like Vancouver somewhere.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: So flies to the bathroom.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: A couple minutes later, Harriet's husband, Harry, arrives in heaven.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: Not um Harry and Harriet.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: What did they meet in a 60 sitcom at Universal Studios or something?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_03: Harry and Harriet.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, please.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_03: I see Jerry Van Dyke would have been in this, maybe Joyce Van Patrick.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I what what is this?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: But but I digress.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: So Harry, her husband, arrives in heaven.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_03: Now she's obviously shocked to see him and says, Hey, you know, Harry, what are you doing here?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_03: Harry says, Harriet, I got so lonely back home without you.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: I just decided to kill myself to be with you.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you you've been doing consecutive episodes that have been so romantic.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you remember the poetry episode that we did, that was that was something this is really quite amazing.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: I the only question I would have is how did Harry know that Harriet was going to end up in heaven?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: I know my sister, and I think that was a bit of a risk, probably the best 50-50 chance that she would end up in in heaven.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: This is indeed romantic.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: This is straight out of Romeo and Juliet here.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: And this is so I guess we're we're still hard for the bard on this one, but you know, Jeff, Jeff, really, this is not your sister, Harriet.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_03: So this is just just some random Harriet.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: So I yeah, it's gonna be more like 80-20.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe more like 8020.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay, but okay.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: But I digress.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: So Harriet says to Harry, look, if you want to join me in heaven, you gotta spell the word I give you, and then you can pass through the pearly gates.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: So Harry, just like Harry, is oh no problem.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_03: I I'm always been good at spelling.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, what's the word?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Harriet says, Czechoslovakia.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: That actually sounds like my sister.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, maybe it was your sister.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: It could have been.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you're now that you mentioned that.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Harriet kind of you know wanted to go off on her own a lot.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: That word.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, unless Harry is is from the Czech Republic or something.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: I think uh Harriet's gonna be by herself in in heaven.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, interesting dream.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have any idea what you think it means?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wait, yeah, Jeff, Jeff, you were gonna tell me what a dream, what it means.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I had the dream.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_03: You were gonna tell me just casual observation.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: I would give Harriet a call, just in case that was her, you know.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: I who knows?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Good idea.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And call Harry too, because definitely call Harry.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_03: You don't want to tip the hand too much, but tell him, look, Harry, study a map of Eastern Europe.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's a tip.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's all I'm saying.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: We should do that immediately after the show.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Let's give uh Harry and Harriet a call.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope that helps.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Does that does that help you?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it does indeed.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: You know, spelling in Eastern European country is is really hard to do if that's what it takes to get into heaven.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: But the good news is then the not too distant future, it's all going to be simplified.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's gonna be so easy.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: You'll never have to spell again.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you have to spell one word.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: R-U-S-S-I-A.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_03: See how simple that is?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: That is simple.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Bad luck for Harry that Ukraine hasn't surrendered yet.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: That would have been perfect.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, with Czechoslovakia, Ukraine, Poland, you know, all the other countries.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: At one point they're they will all have the same name, which I think is great.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's a sort of unity, if you will, you know.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think that is a trend we're heading towards, which is that life is getting simpler and our language is getting simpler.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: The best way to measure that would be to look at our fearless leader because instead of having these intellectuals that went to Harvard and they have these big vocabularies, you know, like O'Play.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Played lacrosse there too, I bet.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, but instead we have a leader that speaks in a language that everybody understands.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: He uses simple words, you know, like bad or ugly or stupid or abortion, you know, words that we all understand.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you mean you're talking about our king, of course, right?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: Our yes, yes, our fearless king leader.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: I kind of miss the good old days when we learned, you know, harder words and and learned how to spell them, like h-ar-r-d-e-r, you know.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, I I was reading, okay, all right.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_03: And let me pause right there.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: All right, call me woke because I can read, but it wasn't one of those DEI books, you know, didn't even irrigate.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_03: Wasn't one of that okay.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: So I was reading about the Nebraska State Spelling Bee contest for 2025.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's coming up in April.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_03: I was reading about how over 10,000 children will compete in the contest this year, and there are only 7,000 children in Nebraska, and we're we're talking big prizes for the winner.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I bet some of these children are 140 years old and collecting Social Security.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_03: It wouldn't surprise me a bit.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_03: And they're probably DEI kids too.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: Don't eat ice cream.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've heard about these contests, it's a big deal, and I would assume they give out big prizes.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: And let me guess a free trip for the winners to New York City to go to the Nationals and you know, compete there and stay in a nice hotel.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: That would be so cool.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: New York would be so fun for like an 11-year-old.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's even better.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: The winner of the contest gets an all-expense paid trip to either Mexico or Canada to see the new border wall under construction.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_03: It is so historic.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: And the trip, of course, is going to be paid for by Mexico or Canada, of course.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great gift.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, but that isn't all, as Johnny might say.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let me guess, let me guess.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: Four years of free college at Nebraska, that kind of makes sense.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: Jeff, once again, you're you're thinking way too low.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: Education is it's okay for the elites, like those lacrosse players you were talking about.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: You know, if you want to study like adding and subtracting and milking.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, what all 11-year-old kids really need are guns and lots of them.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_03: Let's face it, growing up isn't easy nowadays, especially when you're a teenager and there are so many threats out there.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: What better gift for a teenager than lots of guns?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: It'll just help them demand respect and let everybody in your school know who you are and let them know that you are there.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Best part, they're all unregistered, so no one will know what you're thinking or what you have in mind.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, or be able to find you later.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: We're talking about a collection of the best semi-automatic and automatic weapons available on the dark web and at gun shows, of course.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: Can't argue with that.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, if I did, I would probably get shot.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I am really impressed, Steve.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe someday we should invite one of those amazing spellers onto the show.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we kind of quiz them and you know, check out what the smart youth of America is like.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: Jeff, I am so glad you said that because that moment is now, because just the other side of that glass is little 11-year-old Bonnie Ruby Oswald from middle school 227, right here in Omaha, Nebraska.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: She is one of those 10,000 kids that entered the 7,000 available seats in our spelling bee.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_03: And she was kind enough to join us for a few minutes.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_03: Bonnie, welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me, Mr.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Jeff and Mr.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Steve.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Bonnie, welcome, but I I do need to ask you something.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: You seem familiar.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: I can't put my finger on it, but have we met before?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, we have.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: You had me and my mom on this show several years ago.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: We came to promote awareness for the illness I had.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Juvenile Tourette's syndrome.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do you remember?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: You might remember me as sweet baby Daphne.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I remember you, sure, of course.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: You were just a baby then and and very, very cute, too.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: I think I I think you were just learning how to talk and and and swear.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, Mr.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Steve.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: I remember too.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: That was my favorite episode.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you were a wonderful guest.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: You were so adorable, and your mom was so sweet too.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's a shame that the episode got us kicked off of a lot of the streaming services that we were on, you know, because of all the profanity, especially iHeartRadio.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, if iHeartRadio really had a heart, they would have supported this cause and they would not have kicked us off.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a sensitive issue.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, so tell me, Bonnie, why did you change your name?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sweet baby Daphne is it's just such a cute name.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was, but I think my mom thought a fresh start would be a good idea.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And now that I don't have juvenile Tourette's syndrome, it just made sense.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's wonderful, Daphne.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um I mean, I'm sorry, Bonnie.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: You outgrew juvenile Tourette's with you competing in the statewide spelling bee, you're really a changed young girl.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was very challenging at first, but with a lot of hard work and learning who your real friends are, I got through it, and I am better for it.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I you certainly are, Bonnie.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: So have you always been a good speller?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: I have.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Words have always come easy to me, as you might recall.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I learned to speak at a very young age, and as a result, I have a very big vocabulary.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: We remember uh a really nice vocabulary.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know if it was nice, but in some ways, so I guess you could say that your challenge has played a role in helping you prepare for this path in life and and for the spelling bee contest.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it sure has.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, my mom used to have me write words down instead of saying them out loud, uh, you know, for obvious reasons.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: So spelling words is something that I practiced a lot on.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: We're so glad to see that life has changed and we're so happy for you.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I guess in the tournament you're competing against a lot of students from a lot of schools.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: How's that gone and and where do you stand in the tournament so far?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it was going great, but then I got eliminated in the first round.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was pretty unfair, I thought.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: I got all the words right, but I got eliminated because of violating contest protocol.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even sure what that means, but oh well.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's always next year.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: I heard cocksecker pigfuck.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: I I I'm sorry, Bonnie, I I missed that.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking for my edibles.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: What what was that last answer of yours?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I d I just said, Mr.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Jeff, I just said I'm looking forward to next year.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's the attitude, Bonnie.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so you're ready to spell a few words here, sort of a first annual Stephen Jeff spelling bee challenge.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Uh you know, since you'd be competing with only us, you have a really, really good chance of winning the prize.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking forward to it, Mr.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Steve.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Scumbag, motherless prick.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: I I I'm sorry.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't know if that was you, Steve.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm getting something, some feedback and my headphones here.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I I don't know where that comes from, but I was just getting a couple of words from Claire, and I I wasn't paying a lot of attention, but uh Steve, Claire's really good at coming up with vocabulary words.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she went to the Ivy League School, Yale Padlock College, I think is the name of it.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: So oh, she did.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: She did.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, she was a key holder, even.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: So Bonnie, you're the first of five words.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Bonnie, your first word is surgery.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Surgery.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: S-U-R-G-E-R-Y.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Surgery.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: And now, Bonnie, can you use that in a sentence?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Since you broke your arm, jerk off prick, I'm afraid it will require surgery.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Bonnie, that's correct.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: But Steve, maybe going forward, we should have Claire refrain from using words that are a little more provocative, you know, are so provocative.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you you know, it's a family show.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: God knows we're back on iHeart and I don't want to get kicked off again.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: Anyways, oh gosh, no.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Not your fault, Bonnie, at all.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't we just go on to the next word?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: This is another one from Claire.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: The word is riot.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Riot.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: R-I-O-T.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Riot.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: And Bonnie, can you use that in a sentence?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: January 6th was not a riot.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Bonnie, I I guess that's technically correct.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: An insurrection is different from a riot, but can you try another sentence?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Greg Gutfeld is a riot, you stupid tiny penis bastard.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure the judges will accept that answer.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you could have used Roseanne Barr or Mel Gibson or Elon Musk as being a riot, but you know, I guess Gutfeld is is pretty funny.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, Bonnie, are you feeling okay?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like maybe you're you're a little bit under the weather.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: No, Mr.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Jeff, I feel fine.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Steve, why don't we go with the next word?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: The next word, Bonnie, is tariff.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Tariff.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: T-A-S-E-S.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: Tariff.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that's correct, sort of.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you use it in a sentence?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Tariffs are not taxes, you donating, hockey-loving buffalo turd.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_03: You know, this is fun and all, but uh, it looks like we're almost out of time.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_03: You know, maybe we should wrap it up, you know, cut it short while we, you know, still can, we're still on the air here.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's a really good idea, Steve.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to thank Bonnie or little baby Daphne, Stevie, whatever your name is, or whatever you're gonna go by.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm really glad you came on the show and we had a chance to reconnect.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: And congratulations on the personal growth that you obviously have had over the last few years.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for having me, Steve and Jeff.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Do I win a prize, you cheap bald bastard?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: Bonnie, it's been our pleasure to have you on the show.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: And and yes, I'm sure Johnny has something waiting for you as you leave the studio like immediately.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: That about does it for the show and maybe for our podcast, Jeff.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's about time to take off.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you to Steve, thank you to Bonnie.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_03: Great to see you and Johnny, what do we have to get Bonnie out of here?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right, Steve, you miserable scumbag?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, is what she has catching?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, little Bonnie or Daphne or whoever will thrill to a year's supply of Mrs.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Luther's German Catholic cake, courtesy of the Diet of Worms Club.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's the best cake in the Holy Roman Empire, and that's no papal bull.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that's not all.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: She will receive a box set of the entire six seasons of that great 60s series, Harry and Harriet.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: Laugh with TV's favorite oddly named couple, starring Jerry Van Dyke and Joyce Van Petten.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: Set requires a functional VHS system to watch.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: This has been a severely censored production in association with 175-year-old media.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: Find out more about our host at stevenjeff.com.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: This is Johnny Speaker.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: I hardly ever use foul language.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: Steve's mom doesn't like it.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, she doesn't like others doing.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: But let me tell you, she swears like a bunch of cutter who lost his ketamine.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: I tell you, sometimes we even have to pull the shaves to avoid lip readers.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Well, time for me to dive into a bathtub of pop off.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: Good night.