Latest / Making The Impact - A Dance Competition Podcast / Throwback! S3 EP 84 - Parent Etiquette - From Studio to Stage

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Throwback! S3 EP 84 - Parent Etiquette - From Studio to Stage · Making The Impact - A Dance Competition Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Hey y'all, it's Courtney Ortiz, and welcome to your next throwback episode in season seven.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: Let's rewind back to one of the most downloaded episodes from season three.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it's all about parent etiquette.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: When this episode first aired back in 2021, we tackled one of the most requested topics from teachers, studio owners, and judges everywhere.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: How dance parents can truly make an impact from the sidelines in the right way.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Our guests, IBA judges Hilary Zabinski and Emily Branagan, joined Leslie and me to unpack everything from proper theater and competition etiquette, studio communication boundaries, how to support your dancer without coaching or comparing, and why reading your emails is still the number one rule for every dance parent.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Whether you're a brand new dance parent or a seasoned comp mom vet, this conversation is a must-listen reminder that we're all on the same team.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: Teachers, parents, and dancers, to work together and make this dance world the best it can be.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: So let's jump on in to season three, episode 84, Parent Etiquette from Studio Steve.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Enjoy.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to this week's episode of Making the Impact, a dance competition podcast.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Courtney Ortiz, and I'm here, like always, with my fabulous co-host, Leslie Mealan.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Courtney, this is the last episode of 2021.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, it is.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe it.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: Seriously, that's that's wild to think that 2021 is already over.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: And the holidays have come and went.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, we got one more tomorrow.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: Big New Year's Eve coming up.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: But wow, this is the last episode of 2021.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: But only halfway through our season three.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: We've still got plenty more coming at y'all in season three.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, I still can't believe, you know, it's 2021.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be 2022 in like two days, which is incredible.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: But we started this in 2019.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Which really feels like a thousand years ago when you think about it.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so like, go us.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: Go us.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Seriously.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm I'm so happy of how this podcast has grown in the past few years now that it's been a few years.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so many great topics and so many awesome guests that we've had on.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: We've been lucky enough to to scoop up and have on the podcast.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks to everyone who has joined us throughout the past few years on the pod as a guest.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks to, like always, all of you listeners who continue to listen to us week after week.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: We love you all.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: And New Year, so resolutions.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I haven't not even thought about that.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like happening tomorrow.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: A New Year's resolution.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, this has been sort of just a resolution since I've had surgery, but I would love it's been, I probably, it's an embarrassing amount of time that it's been since I've taken a dance class just because I've had so many issues with my foot and injuries and stuff.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: But now that I'm back to walking and back to, you know, hopefully within the next couple weeks getting cleared to do a whole lot more, I really want to go back and take class for me.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Not for an audition, not for proving myself to anybody.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: I might leave after bar.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because I can.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I would love to get back.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we s we live in New York City.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: We live in the best city in the world for dance.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's even more accessible now than it has been somehow, uh, even with the pandemic and everything.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I would love to come take your class.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: When you're subbing, come take my class, we'll do some 90s jazz, it'll be great.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Any resolutions for 2022?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: I think I said earlier on a podcast episode that I took my first ballet class in a while.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not sure if that's always gonna be happening in 2022, but I would like to make more class taking as well be on my to-do list because I feel like I'm always teaching, but never taking.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to just be a student again.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I sometimes will jump into class when I'm like teaching at conventions and I have extra time and I'm it's not like a crazy busy day for me.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: And like that's the best when I'm already there and I can just jump into class and like do my thing in the back.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to take more classes and then I really want, like you just said, like new we both live in New York City, the best city in the world.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know how much longer I'll be living here.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure I will be living here for many more years, but what happens if I don't?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: I want to make sure that I'm taking advantage of the city while I'm here.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to go see more shows now that shows are back.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like literally last week I saw Alvin Ailey, I saw the West Side Story movie, which was exceptional, and I saw Book of Mormon on Broadway, and it just made me realize that I live in the best city in the world and I can see all of these things at every single day if I wanted to.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And like we have, you know, there are a lot of options if anybody, any listeners haven't been to the city or are thinking about coming anytime soon.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of resources out there for discounted tickets, free tickets, lottery tickets.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to know where to look.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, hit us up.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we we both have some inside details for that if you want to see a show on a budget, you know?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for all the shows.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: So shout out to everybody that's in a show that is back to performing.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so inspired by you.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: I love this beautiful city.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I think those are my resolutions.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: More class and more shows.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: Great.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: This episode today is all about the parents, actually.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I know that a lot of y'all are dance parents that are tuning into this episode.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of our listeners are dance parents.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a lot of teachers and a lot of studio owners that listen as well.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm sure that all of y'all will be so grateful that we are tackling this topic.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: But we're talking about parent etiquette today.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that we've kind of brainstormed that this is going to be like an across-the-board parent etiquette.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: So, theater and show etiquette is definitely going to be discussed because it is very clear that a lot of parents do not understand the rules of the theatre.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: And then just studio etiquette as well.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: What you should or shouldn't be doing, should you be contacting your teacher at all hours of the evening?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'd say no.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Probably not.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Should you be texting them?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'd say no.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: So there's a lot of things that we're going to just go full blast on and talk about.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: And we even talked to some teachers ahead of time from one of our uh dance teachers group and asked, what do you guys want us to talk about in this episode?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: So we're going to tackle that today.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And boy, did we get some responses, Courtney.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's going to be a hot one, y'all.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: So dance parents, make sure you turn the volume all the way up on this one and listen to it from beginning to end.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: So this season, like you've heard, we have introduced our Buy Me a Coffee platform where you as a fan can donate to Making the Impact.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: And if you've already donated to us, we love you so much.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for your generous donations.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: We've been receiving so many since we launched this, and we're just so grateful for everyone's support.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: So if you would like to donate to our podcast to help us produce future episodes, you can head on over to the link in our show notes or visit kofi.com/slash making the impact now.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Another way you can support our show is simply by going to write us a review.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Reviews help us on Apple Podcasts specifically kind of jump up in the algorithm for people to see our podcast.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I can really tell recently because we have been getting a lot of good reviews when I go just to search the podcast on different places.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: We show up pretty early on in all of the search terms.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for all of you that have done that already.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I'd love to share a review from our user called Pearls06.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And they say, I first started listening to this podcast last year when I saw some of the judges' tips on Instagram.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, shout out to the judge's tips on Instagram.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: They say I was hooked.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter loves dance and I want to know all I can about this world she lives in.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: She's 11 years old and is now your newest fan.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: We listen in the car when it's just the two of us.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I help out a lot in our studio with other moms as well as the teachers and studio owners.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned to take what I've learned here and apply it gently in the studio.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I wish everyone in the dance world would listen to this.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for being real and raw and providing something both my daughter and I can listen to together.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: Aw, that's such a great review.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much, Pearls06.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: And we have one other fabulous review on Apple Podcasts coming from Isabella Bose.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: And this says, This has been an amazing podcast.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: Being a dance mom can be hard, and having as much info as you can to navigate through this life is key.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: The guests and hosts are incredibly informative and helpful.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: Being a former dancer myself, it's a whole new world being on the other side.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being our go-to for so much info.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Aww.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's really nice.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Isabella Bose.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: So sweet.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, if you haven't left us a review, a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts, head on over there and leave us a review.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: We would love to share it with the world on our pod.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: All right, listeners, it's time to meet our very special guests who are joining us today.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: And we have two IDA judges here for this discussion who have both been previous guests on Making the Impact.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I can't wait to welcome them back.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: And first up, you may remember this guest from season one, episode 18, The Power of Social Media.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so happy to welcome back Hillary Zabinski to the podcast.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Hey everyone.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: So pumped to have you.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, excited to be back.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: And you're coming to us all the way from Arizona.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: I am.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: Currently sitting in the dance studio getting ready to teach.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, the joys.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Hilary, I know that you work obviously in the studio setting all the time on the daily, and you are surrounded by parents, so I know that you probably have a lot to say about this topic and discussion, so I can't wait to hear all about it.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_02: But before we jump in, do you mind sharing a little bit about you with all of our listeners out there?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, of course.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Hilary Zabinsky.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: I graduated from Oklahoma City University with my Bachelor of Performing Arts in dance performance.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Afterwards, I came back to Phoenix and started teaching.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: I've been teaching full time.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: I also choreographed musicals for several of the community theaters here in the area and judge during the spring.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I just am busy doing it all.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you are.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: And you've been on the roster with us for the past few years.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: We're so happy to have you.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm excited to have you going out this season with IDA.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: So welcome back to the pod and thanks for joining us.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: No problem.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: All right, and our next IDA judge, who is coming back for her third appearance on Making the Impact.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: You may remember her from season one, episode seven.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: Whoa, that that goes way back.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that was our age range expectations episode, which was such a good one.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: And last season, she joined me on a QA with Courtney Live, season two, episode 43, our December edition.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm happy to welcome back Emily Branagan to the pod.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_05: Hi, it's good to be back.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_05: It's been a minute, but I'm excited.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_05: Hello, everybody.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: It has been a minute.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: I guess it was like this time last year you were doing the live.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_05: Just the annual.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_05: It's just my annual impact, making the impact podcast.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_05: Let's let's keep it consistent.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_05: I love it.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so happy you're back, and I can't wait to hear all the things you have to say.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because I know you're in the studio all the time as well.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: So two perfect guests joining us for this discussion.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: And Emily, please feel free to share with all of our listeners out there a little bit more about you.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my goodness.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I spent a lot of time in LA, lived there for a dozen years or so, working mostly commercially in the dance industry, and then um segued into teaching and having a youth company.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_05: And now I live in Connecticut and I teach full-time and then I travel and judge and do all that good stuff too.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_05: So yes, with the children like most of the time.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_05: So this will be a fun one.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: And like I said, you two are perfect guests too.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you're in the you're in the heat of it often.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I can't wait to hear all about the parent etiquette that we are gonna tell the listeners today.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the parent parent etiquette that we hope to see.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we're we're gonna be the chance.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're gonna be the change.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh because, you know, I think what it is, at least for the the theater etiquette portion of this conversation, there's plenty of people out there that didn't grow up going to the theater in any capacity.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, their experience in the theater might be limited to a movie theater, which is a whole different ballgame than an actual theater, whether that's for a ballet or for a dance recital or for a play or the orchestra or whatever.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so I think a lot of a lot of what we see from parents that feels kind of like questionable is because of that.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I think part of the conversation today, listeners, is going to be just some basic general theater etiquette for anybody who needs a brush up on that, or this may be brand new information to you, parents out there, who maybe your whole family played baseball forever since 1940.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like if you never, if you don't know, you don't know.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: So we're here to help you and tell you.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: But then we also have a portion of the conversation that I'm interested to hear from both uh Hillary and Emily about specifically because y'all work primarily in the studio setting and you do deal with parents.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary, with your experience and as the office manager at your studio, like you really deal with the parents.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: So some like studio etiquette.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Again, if you don't know, you don't know.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some of it feels like common sense to us because we have done this and been in the world.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, why would people do that?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, because they don't know that they shouldn't do that.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess let's first kick it off theater with the theater.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's let's go to the theater and talk about the etiquette that we expect in the theater.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: And like you said, I love that what you said because I think that it's very true that a lot of dance parents, this might be their first time walking into any type of actual like performance theater space.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: I know I didn't grow up going to see Broadway shows or musicals that came through town.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like we just didn't do that.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that my my entire family's introduction to the theater was through my dance training and dance competitions, whether it was a dance recital, attending a dance competition, which I think that the etiquette should be the same for both, but I think that people think that it's different for both, you know, a nutcracker versus a dance competition.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like we're not like screaming and hootin' hollering at the nutcracker like we do at dance competitions.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: So, what are some of the go-to theater etiquette tips that you immediately think of when it comes to dance competitions?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: Let's start there, since that's what our podcast is all about.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_05: First of all, so important right now that we're getting back to regular competition, that we're having this conversation.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_05: I was at an event a few weeks ago where it was finally studios together.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_05: I hadn't seen that in a year and a half, and the kids and the parents really don't know how to act because they've been isolated events where you can kind of work with your own school and operate and like it didn't matter as much because you weren't worrying about other people performing.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_05: But I think the biggest thing is when you enter the house, know that somebody's on stage and somebody's worked really hard for that two and a half minutes, even if it's not your kid or your school.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_05: So silence the phones, put away the iPads.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I know siblings are there too, and sometimes they get dragged into it, but maybe sitting in the lobby is a better place to play play video games.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_05: Clapping for everybody always, if you know them or you don't, and then exiting when something is through, and then entering when it's over.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_05: We just went to see the Christmas spectacular at Radio City, and everybody's having this issue with theater etiquette, not just the dance world.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_05: So we're we're not alone.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_05: This is why when this came up, I was like, oh my god, I'm so excited to talk about this.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_05: You know, because people don't remember, they don't know.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_05: It's been a hot minute.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_05: So put the phones away and just like really appreciate the hard work, whatever it may be that's in front of you.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, to kind of go with off Emily was saying, the entering and exits, like especially now that we're going back to a normal competition.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Some competitions are go, go, go to get through the weekend.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: So don't like take your time to get to your seat.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: If you happen to walk in and they've already moved on, just choose an aisle seat and then you can move in at the next number.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to like find your way to the center, especially if it's not your dancer or your studio.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like just kind of get out of the way and let everybody else enjoy.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think like Emily said, somebody worked hard on that dance.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, and and I feel like this feels like something we have probably heard add nauseum our whole lives, but for some reason it still doesn't seem to occur to some people.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: That kid worked just as hard as your kid.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: How would you like it if somebody stood up in the middle and blew his nose while your kid was dancing in the middle of the audience?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like you wouldn't, you wouldn't want that.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: So why why is it okay for you to stand up and blow your nose and try to shuffle around and get the seat for Great Aunt Sally, who just, you know, like it's not okay.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And like I I hope that sounds common sense.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that's not like a surprise to some people that like maybe don't do that.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, it's not a movie.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think for kids, especially or like young teenagers, if they haven't ever been into a theater setting, their only context for that situation is a movie where nobody on the screen can react to you.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like not only is it disrespectful to the people in the audience who are trying to watch the thing that's happening, but it's disrespectful to the people on the stage who are trying to do the thing.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: I think another thing that could be helpful as far as even like just crowd control is having some more staff from the competition, like m monitoring the doors and and you know, creating the, you know, etiquette from the very moment they walk in.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you go to a Broadway show, and everybody always people use like that comparison, well, it's not a Broadway show, it's a competition, right?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and it's like, okay, regardless, it's still a performing art that's being on stage, regardless if it's in a hotel ballroom on the Marley, like on the carpet with Marley flown thrown over it, or if it's actually on like a beautiful stage.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: Regardless, there's still etiquette.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe that there should be more people from the the backstage, staff from the competition monitoring the doors and like essentially being ushers and saying, Hey, unfortunately, there's a performance going on right now.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: Please wait to go into your seats once it's ended.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because if there's no one there enforcing it, then people are gonna just do whatever they want.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's why we're doing this episode so we can tell y'all to not do that.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, I think because people wouldn't know that when they go to a Broadway show if there weren't ushers.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you came back after intermission and you want to go to your seat, but the show already started, y'all gotta wait.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta wait till this uh song is over and then you can get there.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's the same thing applies in between dances at competition.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_05: What's interesting about that is because sometimes parents are paying far more than they would pay to see a Broadway show to have their kids in competition.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_05: I come from a family of three dancers full out, so you know that's a that's a big buck weekend.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_05: And if my parents want to see me, they're gonna see me.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_05: So respect everybody else's investment in what's happening in the room, and I think we'd be set.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Even like younger siblings who get dragged into it, too.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: I sometimes just see the younger siblings running around the theater.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of what Leslie was saying earlier.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe the lobby is a better place for them to hang out, or teach them when they're young.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you're in here, you have to sit and watch, and you can't run around like crazy.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_05: No, I agree with that, but it's also learned behavior too, right?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_05: Like as teachers and directors, it I find that it is my job, even if that's not my student, they're a member of this company, you know, to go, hey, let's take a seat.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_05: Why don't you come stand by me until this is over and really show them that that's what you mean?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_05: I remember my dance teacher taking us firmly by the wrist and planting us in seats if we weren't doing what we were supposed to.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_05: Parents too.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_05: It the climate of our dance world is a little different and the sensitivity around kids is different, but there's a way to do it gently to let them know that that's the behavior you expect.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, absolutely.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing when you said the words, you know, plant them in a seat.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: At dance competitions there's not assigned seating.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't buy a ticket, you know, you're not sitting in row L seat A, whatever.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: However, if you brought your whole neighborhood to see the dance concert or the dance recital, I mean, we don't even have to really talk about competitions here either.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: It could be your recital or your nutcracker or your concert, and there's not assigned seating.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's not really the right thing to do to save 14 seats in a row when all 14 people aren't there.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not fair.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I'm not in the minority when I say that.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like saving seats is probably pretty frowned upon.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think anybody's gonna say this is a hard and fast rule everywhere, nobody should ever save seats ever, but like maybe don't.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of rude.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_05: The blankets.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_05: The blankets at 6 a.m.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_05: The blankets have got to go.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I've heard like there there are some competitions and conventions that let the front row be for teachers only.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I have heard that there are parents that ignore that rule.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like blatantly ignore it.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: And sit in the seats.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: And again, I think that there might just need to be a few more people in the audience from the staff of the competition to monitor those types of things.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's also no different than when the kids are like literally sitting behind the judges.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, why is no one monitoring this?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if I if that was my my kids from my studio, I'd be like, what do you think you're doing?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely not.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: Do not sit right behind the judges.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: I've seen parents sit right behind the judges trying to like listen in.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: And hear what they're saying and go report back to everybody.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, y'all, sit back, scoop back.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like, be respectful.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's just, I don't know.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like you, like you said, Leslie, it's like you think that's common sense, but people just they don't know.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: I guess not.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_05: Or a ballroom on the sides.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_05: And the kids sit on the floor on the sides and they're still doing whatever.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or they're just creeping.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: They just keep creeping forward and forward and forward.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like as a director, I'm the one who has to go up because we don't have, you know, and then and listen, I love the idea of more staff members.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody has any money to pay any more staff members.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's just true.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: So as a director of a competition, I'm the one who has to go over and tell all your lovely children and their siblings, you you can't sit here.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is not seating, you know.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's also parents, studio owners, teachers, anybody in charge of children, that is not me.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in charge of the event.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not in charge of your children.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: You're in charge of your children.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, the etiquette, it all starts from the top down.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's definitely something we've seen from, you know, many of our episodes that we've we've covered is, you know, just the culture of a studio, the culture of an event starts from the top.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if if the teacher's listening, the studio owners are listening, you know, it all comes from from you, how your clientele is going to act at an event.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe not all of it.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: I will say there's some outliers out there.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Let's talk about one of the things that I think Emily you mentioned at the very beginning, which was clapping and supporting everyone, which I really love that because I think that if you're going to be sitting in the audience, the least you can do is at least clap.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not asking you to hoot and holler for every single dance that's not your from your studio, but at least clap for them and support them as an audience member.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: There are so many times breaks my heart when there's a little dancer that comes on stage and maybe they're independent and they came here by themselves and not a single person claps.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: Except for their mom.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's just like it's just deflating.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like this dancer, yes, it's a competition and you're essentially competing for the judges, but there's also an audience out there.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: So why can't the audience support this young dancer that has worked hard, like we said?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's the least you can do.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's not hard.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: You just clap.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: You would want that for your dancer.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: But with that being said, I would love to hear what y'all think about that hooting and hollering that I just mentioned.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: What do y'all think about that?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's an extent.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I get supporting it and wanting to encourage your kids as a parent.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'm sitting at the judge's table with my headphones in, plugging my ears, and I still can't even like think of my own thoughts because you're directly behind me in the teacher's row and you're not supposed to yelling at the top of your lungs.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's like I get it, but maybe not also during like the lyrical trio.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, kind of there's a time and a place.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like I get it for the big production numbers where the whole studios involved, or the higher energy jazz or hip hop.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like the contemporary small group.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe not, in my opinion.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I'm an enthusiastic audience member.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_05: I just like am by nature.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_05: So I will cheer if I see something I like or clap if I feel like it deserves a clap.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_05: But like you said, there's a time and a place, it's like I'm not gonna put maple syrup on my mashed potatoes.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not going to clap and scream, go baby, in the middle of a ballet variation.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_05: But at the beginning or end of a hip-hop piece, if I wanna, if I wanna cheer a lot or or woo or whatever you want to say, do I wanna hear you say, that's my best friend Casey?
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_05: She's my favorite.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_05: Probably not.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_05: Although one time I dare did hear a cute dad go, yeah, that's my daughter.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_05: But it was it was at the beginning of the piece, so I like I was like, oh, that's sweet.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_05: Like I love the I love that we're at least enthusiastic about what's happening on the stage.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_05: It could be that we're chatting in the back, not paying attention.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_05: So I guess points for that, but make sure it's appropriate to the genre that you're watching and not while you're watch not during the piece.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: My mom at her studio has always had like a pre-show announcement that says, you know, because also nothing is worse than a full audience, even if it's people you know that don't clap at all.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and her so her pre-show announcement always says, if you see something you like, you can clap for it.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can cheer for it.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you see something, say something, you know, essentially.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: But we did have a mom that was a mom of a girl that I used to grow up dancing with.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the girl's name was Delyn.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: And Delyn's mom was real southern.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, every time we got on stage anywhere, go Delyn.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just got to become a joke in our studio.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: She was she was just really happy, but it was just like, um, Mrs.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember Jones, Mrs.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Jones, like not in the middle of the ballet number.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, save go Delyn for later.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think all that is super clear and helpful as far as when it when it's the time and the place to cheer that loud.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm on the same page as you, Hillary.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if it's distracting me from doing my job, the answer is no.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, you I think that a lot of parents think that if the audience is really enthusiastic and loud and participating and cheering like crazy, that it's gonna get the kids bonus points or something.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that a lot of I've also heard parents say, well, it helps my kids perform better and it gets them amped up and like they like the crowd energy.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, we all love the crowd energy when we're performing, but it has to be like there's a fine line.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I there have been times where it's literally cheered the entire time with a cowbell ringing, and also like an like an air, like in the background.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm just like, what is happening?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a sports game or something, you know?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not, it's not, first of all, it's not a sports game, it's a dance competition.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that like the studio performance, studio dance, like what we're doing at our competitive dances that we go to.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: I even think that it's a little bit different than dance team competitions and cheerleading competitions.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like what we're doing is a little bit more, not that that's not artistic, but it's it's coming from a little bit more of an artistic background and approach, I think.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a really fair distinction.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like we can say cheerleading and drill team and dance team, to me, that is that's a sport.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because essentially those things were created to cheer on a team of something else.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like drill teams didn't just exist, they existed in conjunction with something we cheered for, which was a basketball team or football team, right?
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but dance is dance, right?
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: It exists on its own.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, so we don't need to hoot and holler.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_05: And the cowbells and the ham horns shouldn't those are made for like outdoor events.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_05: We're generally inside.
• 29:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_05: So bringing them outside.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_05: We're not in the fucking lot.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like you can have you can save those for awards.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: I think like that that feels more appropriate for like, oh my gosh, we just won first place overall.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's get the cowbells out.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: But like to do that every single time, then you become the cowbell studio.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: And there's so many times that I've said on the podcast, like, we get to know you as judges throughout the event.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: And do you really want to be the cowbell studio?
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think you do.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to be the prop studio?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to be the the studio that only wears one shoe?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, and all of these examples aren't all they don't always have to be bad examples of how we remember you, but you know, that is a perfect example of how I don't want to remember you is because one of your parents thought it was a good idea to bring a cowbell.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: So don't bring a cowbell, please.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: Keep the hootin and hollering.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: You're totally allowed to support your children, but just there's a time and a place, maybe beginning and end.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: I've actually another thing that really boils my blood that I've actually witnessed and experienced before is studio owners or teachers or choreographers coaching from the audience.
• 30:10
  unknown: Yeah.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: Leslie's so mad.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or even the wings.
• 30:14
  unknown: Yeah.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, coaching from the wings is illegal.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_05: We can tell if you're being coached from the wings because your student is is looking at you or from the audience.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_05: Because we can feel them behind us and and not I mean, I I mark down for it as far as like their their technical ability and their cognitive ability.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'll call out immediately.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: I've literally heard a teacher in the audience clapping the counts for the turns.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know how when we mark a turn, we go like five, six, seven, land eight.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like if we did a just did a triple.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: And like there isn't there was a teacher that was like yes, and like nailed it.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: And like just, you know, just screaming things that only the teacher would know because they choreographed the dance, like as far as like accents and acting like they're cheering them on, but they're not, they're just like coaching from the audience.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, absolutely not.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, y'all.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's not a parent etiquette thing, but I don't know.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: It could be.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there could be I've questioned whether it's parents or teachers in the wings.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: We don't really know.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: It could very well be a parent that's just a stage mom, you know, over there helping out Suzy Q.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_05: And nine times out of ten, that's the case.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_05: Because they think it's gonna have their kids do better.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, is there crossover where kids do both pageants and performing arts competitions?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that happens a lot, but you have to know the set of rules that comes with each kind of event you're at.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_05: I know that's allowed there, it's just not allowed here.
• 31:44
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• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of rules at dance competitions that people don't seem to want to care about.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: Are there any of those that you can think about, ladies, and tell us about those?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, parents trying to come up to the judges is one.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like I don't know why the parents think it's their responsibility.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: A, first off, but B like, we're trying to do something, you can't just come up to us in the middle of our job.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Or ask questions.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's like a big one for me.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well then a tiny number teachers can't even come up.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think what I've realized also, when you look at the stage from the house, there's a lot of times there's five to seven people sitting up there.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: And in our world as judges, we know where we sit, we know where the MC sits, we know where the director sits, we know where the tabulator sits, we know where the sound guy sits, we know who all those people are.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think to the lay person, it can be confusing.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know who to ask.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go to this person in the front because these people in the front seem to work here.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: So typically, friends and family and parents and everybody listening, you've got three judges that sort of sit together-ish.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you look hard, you'll be able to tell who's doing what.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the sound guy's gonna have his sound stuff.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: The tabulator might have, you know, a couple more computers, maybe a printer.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, just kind of look before you go, because maybe you do need to talk to the sound guy.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: But you don't need to talk to judge number three, who's on the other side of the table, trying to have her two-second water break.
• 35:00
  unknown: Right.
• 35:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_05: Or pee.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_05: Please don't talk to us while we're trying to pee.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_05: Trust.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_05: I I think to say that, Leslie, like they should their point should always be merchandise.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_05: Like, if you have a question and you don't know where to go, take your question outside to merchandise and they can always direct you to the right place.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_05: Because it may not be appropriate to go down to the front table in the middle of the competition.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_05: So always direct it there.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, as teachers, that's where we check in usually anyway.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_05: So just that's your point of contact with the competition, if not your teacher first.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's huge.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: When we chain of commands, polled the internet for things that people wished that parents knew.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: But then one of the number one things was talk to your teacher first.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: The chain of command, you know, uh as for you as a parent of a student when you're at a competition is your teacher first, your studio owner first.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody else should you be talking to because that's a number one, nobody m is gonna know anything to tell you, probably, you know, because you're just one person in a sea of 600 numbers.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think chain of command is such a huge one, I think, that can be applied to the studio parents in the studio as well, knowing the chain of command, but also like perfect example, please do not contact or call the dance competition companies directly as a parent.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: You definitely shouldn't be doing that.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think there's any scenario where you should, because more oftentimes than not, even if you're entering as an independent, you're going through your studio and your studio owner should be registering you.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: So unless there's some other bizarre scenario that I'm unaware of, why you would be calling them, I don't know.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: What do you need to know?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: Your studio owner is going to give you all of the information.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: What else is there to know?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_02: I think some uh one of the teachers actually said, like, I don't understand why parents hound me day in and day out about the schedule for the competition when I don't even have the schedule for the competition, and I send it to the parents the moment that I get it.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: But the parents think that me as a teacher is holding that from them.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: So they call the competition and ask for the schedule or email the competition when no chain of command, do not contact the competition.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: They have enough to be worrying about and they don't need another dance parent contacting them or any dance parent contacting them because they're already managing a million studios and a million events.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: So, first of all, no, uh your your studio isn't holding out on giving you your schedule, everybody.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: Most of the time, the schedules don't even aren't even released until about two weeks out, if you're lucky before an event.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_02: Does that seem right, you guys?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_05: And even if they do post a schedule, or sometimes like there's this goofy thing where it ends up online before right when we get it.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_05: Wait to get it from your teacher.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_05: Cause often studios have to come back with costume change, quick change issues, or there's a wrong category, or there needs to be some sort of change.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_05: And I can't tell you how many parents have come up to me, but this is the schedule, this is what posted.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_05: I said, No, that's not what I gave you.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_05: Wait till I give you the schedule and then we'll go from there.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_05: Cause we don't know either yet.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_05: You're right, Courtney.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_05: We we have no idea.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: No, I one of the other companies I work for they our studio goes to that competition.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: So the parents think because I'm a judge and I work for this company, I know exactly when our kids are coming to our event that I can't even work.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, I show up when I'm told, so I'm gonna let you know when to show up.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's about all I know.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it really is the back end of all that stuff is chaotic and I mean, it's chaotic until the event's over.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like it even stops being chaotic once the schedule is set because that it changes all weekend.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, have you ever heard the term scratch or you know, we're skipping to this number?
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's because things are constantly changing it behind the scenes.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, nothing changes.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, nothing, nothing is set in stone.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing I want to mention, and y'all can talk about this too, is most competitions these days have a no-photo, no video policy.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of reasons for that.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is not because, you know, listen, some places might want to just take your money.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's a business.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's a business.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: They want to take your money, they wanna have professional pictures and videos, which are listen, gonna be better than yours on your iPhone.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm for the most part, you know.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: Some places do have have not great photo and video people, but it's a safety issue.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's truly a safety issue.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: And and that's the unfortunate piece of why that rule is in place.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I think when people understand the reasoning behind it, it makes a lot more sense and it makes you more apt to want to abide by that rule.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: Would you guys agree?
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_05: 100%.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, especially like if you're trying to video it to send it to grandma and grandpa or whatever, especially after the past year and a half.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know of a competition that does not have live stream anymore.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: So they can be anywhere in the country and watch it.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: So if that was the whole point of you taking the video, they can watch it on live online.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say and also the majority of competitions offer photo and video, whether for a charge or for free now, right?
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: So that you're gonna get a copy to have for yourself anyways.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_05: I agree with the safety issue part of that too.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_05: Like when the kids sign up for an event, you sign a waiver on behalf of your child to participate and have their name and likeness be represented by their company, the competition.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_05: But if I take a video of a group of dancers on stage, I do not have permission to share the name or likeness of that child.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_05: And I may not know the background of that child or what's allowed for them.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe there's a custody issue, maybe there's a safety concern.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_05: And so you really can't be the one to decide if you can post children on the internet unless they're your child, you know?
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: And only your child.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_05: And only your child.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_05: Unless it's permission from the studio you work, like you're at, like they sign contracts with us at least to have their name and likeness used, and some don't sign it, and then they don't compete and they perform recreationally, and then we don't take photos of them.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's safety.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's safety, and it's got it's gotten more serious over the years now that there's just everybody has a phone, everybody has a camera at their disposal.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: And another thing I don't think people really think about until something dramatic happens is that dance competitions, except for with the exception of some COVID events, like COVID year events, are a free-for-all.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody can walk into any dance competition for the most part in the United States and watch it.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, who's watching this?
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: Who is taking a video of this?
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I would I would love to live in a world where the assumption should be that's that girl's dad, and she he wants a video to sh send to grandma.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I can't make that assumption.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, I can't, in good conscience, make that assumption anymore.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: My assumption has to be the more unfortunate scenario.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that I hate that, but it's the truth.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: It is the truth.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: So we just we can't when people have fought back, you know, at a competition about their right to take a video of their child, you know, I I don't want to have to bring up the unfortunate pieces of the society we live in as the reasoning as to why you can't take a video.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: But if I have to, that's that's what I have to do.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why, for the most part, most competitions have that rule.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not because we don't want you to take a picture of your child.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_02: And like it's the rules.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't know how many people that I say this all the time on the podcast, like, follow the rules, everybody.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, I don't get why that's so hard.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like there are rules in life.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_02: So if if you're a parent coming to a competition, make sure, or even actually, if you're a studio attending a competition, make sure that the rules are like written out and talked about with your entire company and their parents.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_02: So everyone's on the same page and we're not walking in just like free for all.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm at the dance competition and I can do whatever I want.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_02: My kids can run around and I can whip out my phone and take videos whenever I want.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, there's rules for a reason.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's safety and also protection of choreography for choreographers as well.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's another important thing.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_02: We don't know whose studio you're affiliated with.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_02: So even if you think like we could think that that's your studio that's up there, which first of all, you're breaking the rule if your phone's even out.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: So one, but then second, okay, well, maybe that's your studio.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_02: But maybe it's not.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe you're just filming someone else's dancers and then posting it on the internet without permission, one, and stealing choreography in the process.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's just too many things.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, I don't get why it's so hard for people to just follow rules.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_02: End of the day.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_02: End of the day.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: So many things.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_02: Let's flip the script and talk about studio.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_02: But before we get to studio, can we briefly talk about a few etiquette tips for parents for dance conventions?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: Because there's probably a a handful that we can just really quickly go through.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_02: But I feel like that conventions the parents are around more than conventions.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like in A competition, the parents are backstage to helping get the kids set up.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_02: They go and watch their dance, they go backstage.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, but for dance conventions, the parents are just sitting around all day and a lot of them pay for an observer ban.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_02: And just because they paid for an observer ban, did they think that they can like make a picnic on the floor with their children?
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: And like, why is that happening?
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: So, what do you anything come to mind when it comes to parents at dance conventions and the etiquette?
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_05: Unpopular opinion.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_05: I banned observer bands in my company for a while.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_05: Nice.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_05: Not unpopular here.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're very popular here.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: We do the same.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: We do the same.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I we did get a lot of pushback from some of our parents.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_05: The ones that were on the cusp of being like in the like a beginner, like preschool, like six and under room, or being in the mini-room, and we're like, well, that's no problem.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_05: You can go in the six and under room.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_05: That's fine.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_05: If you're not ready to be without your child, that's cool.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_05: But I'd say the chairs are for the children, and if there's extra, you may have one.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_05: Let them put their bags under their seats neatly.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_05: Um, sit quietly, bring a book.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, you're not as much as it's probably amazing, and I'm not a mom, so I don't I don't fully understand it yet, hopefully.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, but I just feel like as much as you're your kid's number one cheerleader, it's important to just be um like the band says, observing them in that in that environment, not coaching or directing or feeding a buffet.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_05: Please take your food outside.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_05: It just stinks, it stinks so bad.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and it already smells like feet and children that don't wear deodorant.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, like don't add your pad tie to that.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like I also think like the competitions themselves, if they put chairs out, don't put them two-thirds up the floor.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: So they're all like making a you, just keep them in the back because then you have the parents sitting on the side, like pointing at Suzy Q on the floor, like you better get to the front.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like if they're behind the kids, then it's less of a distraction for the kids if they're in there anyways.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_05: Sure.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_05: And Courtney, correct me if this is not the norm for everybody, but isn't there like a no video recording rule in the room, or is it a little more loose than I'm imagining?
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_05: I think it's more loose.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, based on Instagram, I'd say it's pretty darn loose.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's convention videos everywhere.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_02: I've actually never, as like an a convention teacher for a major convention, I was I've never been told that they can't take videos in the room.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_02: I think the only thing would be is if the teacher said no video.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_02: But I think like the conventions probably like when videos are shared and things, you know what I mean?
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: But yes, that's a great question.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I actually feel like I might reach out to the convention I work for and ask them that.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm curious to know, but it does seem very loose.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone's posting videos from, you know, and the moms run up with their cameras and like that's the part.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_05: Is that okay with you?
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_05: Like, how do you feel about that?
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, I I don't I don't mind as long as they're out of the way.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like if they're out of the way and they're recording from a distance and they can use their Zoom on their phone to like get a shot of their kid, but like if they're in the way on the floor or like pushing people away to get their kid on video, like absolutely not.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: There's videographers hired for the conventions for that reason.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like someone's probab someone else is filming it, you'll get the footage, calm down.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and I just I'm thinking about I've only taught it smaller like competition conventions that kind of you know put it together, it's like a day of this and a day of that, and it's just small.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: Usually, you know, people will ask, at least in my experience, and at smaller ones, like I'm not talking about the big guns where there's hundreds of people in a room, but you know, if if all else fails, if you don't know, it's probably the answer's probably no.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: But also you can ask.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: And the answer may be no, and you may have to sit down and not videotape your child, you know, but that's just what it is.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think everyone assumes that they can just like film everything and watch my kid do this.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_02: And right.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I guess if the teacher said, like, didn't say otherwise, I I don't know if there's a rule for that.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think there is, I don't think.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and it probably does vary convention to convention, and or you know, teacher to teacher.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's probably plenty of teachers out there that teach on the circuit that would rather not.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: Would rather not have their choreography published to the world.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: I would say, like, as as a convention teacher, one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to the parents is if you're gonna pay to observe, observe.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, don't bring a book.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_02: Bring your eyes and look at your child.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, there have been parents that have just sat there and like worked on their computer and I'm like, why are you in this room?
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what do you pay your whatever fee it was?
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: You don't need to babysit your kid.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm teaching your kid.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_02: They're engaged and active in the class for an entire hour, and then they can run out to you afterwards and meet up for a snack or change their shoes or say how great class was.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's no reason for you to have to be in there.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_02: And something that a lot of teachers, like studio teachers, say all the time is you're you're not sitting in and watching your kid's class at the dance studio, so why do you have to sit in and watch it at a dance convention?
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what makes it different?
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_02: And then the parents will push back and say, Well, I'm paying for this, so I want to see what what my kid is doing.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_02: Fair.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, if you're going to be a distraction to your child where they can't even focus because mommy's coaching on the side or mommy saying, Hey, you better go get in your spot.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's your spot in the very front.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to get noticed?
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_02: Make sure you're in the front.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've seen it happen all the time.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_02: Make sure you put your smile on, everybody.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, your bow's crooked.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_02: Make sure we fix it.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, does the kid really need that?
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_02: No, they just are coming here to take class.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_02: If they get noticed, they get noticed great.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_02: But you don't want to be that distracting mom on the side.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I would say that I'm okay with parents in the mini-room.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_02: So, like the eight and under, I understand.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_02: I think kids are still young.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_02: Once they hit junior, like those junior rooms are crazy with the parent.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: Ka razy.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm and and jam-packed.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's wild to me.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_02: So I would say, parents, you don't need to be in there after.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_02: Once they hit nine, out of there.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_02: Go enjoy your day.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: Go have fun.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_02: Truly.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_02: Go hang out at the bar.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care where you go.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: Just like go do something else and let your kids just dance and have a good time with their friends.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_05: I wonder if, like, on the tech side, they can take the monitors that they use for comp and like just flip them in the lobby and then eliminate observers altogether.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_05: They have the technology.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's great.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_02: Just put a big screen outside of every ballroom that's projecting, and they could have different camera angles, so different kids in different spots can be seen on the screens and boom.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_02: Could be a live stream, like you said.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_02: Boom.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_05: That's all.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_05: We solved it.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_02: We've solved it.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_02: We solved it.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: You're welcome.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_05: Dance conventions.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: Always making the impact over here.
• 50:39
  unknown: For sure.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let's pivot quickly to make the impact in the studio world, because that was also a pretty big request for this episode as well, which I think we will, you know, like we do for many of our topics, we will have a 2.0 because this could, there's just a lot to cover.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about a lot.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: But we were specifically excited for this to hear from you two, because y'all are in the studio, you know, very regularly, um, unlike Courtney and I who pop in and out, you know, here and there.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: What are you, what are you really desiring from parent etiquette?
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: What are you seeing that's not happening that you wish would happen?
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: And are there any, you know, any reasonings behind some of these things that maybe you could explain to parents like why we do request for you to do this?
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think that's the whys are always helpful for me.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I assume it's the same for other people.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, first, kind of right off the bat, as we were talking about earlier with competitions, the chain of command.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: We are your teachers, we are your choreographers.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: Trust us.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you may have danced when you were little.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_01: However, that is not your job.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: That is our job.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: So you don't need to be coming to us telling us how to choreograph your daughter solo, how to choreograph this group dance.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we think this would look better here.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: Trust us.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, that's our job.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: Even better, just stay out and just be surprised at competition or be surprised at your winner's show.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_00: Or be surprised when your kid comes home and is so happy to say, Mom, look at what I did today.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because I, from my perspective, if you're there all the time, what are what are they gonna get excited to show you if you're already there?
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you already saw Sally do that pirouette, what's there to come home and get excited about?
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I I agree with that because you're there's so many dance studios, right, on the market.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_05: Like there's one within every two two minutes where I'm from, but you chose this place for your kid, right?
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_05: So if that's your choice and and that's your trust, and that's who you're entrusting to coach your child, especially on the competitive level.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_05: We're not teaching, we're coaching, we're we're their coaches mentally and physically.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_05: Then you need to be okay with the choice you made as a parent, and then just let it happen.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_05: I could not be more grateful for my dance mom.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_05: She would help us get ready, dance pretty, I'll see you later.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_05: We'd come off and she'd say, What do you think?
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_05: And that was the end.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_05: That was it.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_05: You know?
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, my dance teacher was our coach, and she they paid them a lot of money to coach us, and that's what they did.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I totally agree.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: They don't need to be like kind of going along with that.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you can be the parent for when your dancer is upset.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_01: However, be the parent and let us coach them and and help them work through it dance-wise back in the studio the following week.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's not something that needs to be addressed right there at competition.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's not something that you need to then tell us, oh, you need to go talk to Susie Q.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: She's really upset about what she just did.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like you be the parent and let them be upset for a little bit.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then we will help coach and mentor them back in the studio when it's just us and you're not listening.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_05: And to the other end of that, Hillary, children are never responsible for adult emotions.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_05: Even if you as a parent have a very strong feeling about what happened to Susie on stage, maybe she fell out of her turns.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe she didn't have the best day.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_05: She ran off.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_05: You know, pat her on the back and say, We'll get them next time.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_05: And if that's tricky to do, give yourself a minute.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_05: Give yourself a minute to regroup and then address your child because they have high adrenaline on it too.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_05: I can't tell you how many kids have come up off crying just because they had so much worked up to the moment and then had to release it.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_05: Um, even the most like even killed kids.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_05: I've just like have so much inside me right now that has to be let out.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_05: And then the parent wants to know what's wrong and they start crying with the child about what happened, and then they're mad at us because the child is upset.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_05: But in reality, everybody just needs to take a beat and step back.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_05: Um they vow like me as a teacher.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_05: Before you step on stage, I make sure the last thing I say is, I'm so proud of you, go have fun.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_05: Because you can't do anything beyond that moment.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_05: And as a parent, you can't do anything either.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_05: It's all up to them now, and let them enjoy it and learn.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_05: We're here to learn.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_05: So we need to keep our adult emotions in check in this environment and everything will be fine.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's such a good point.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just for general parenting and caregiving of children, even if you're a babysitter or a dance teacher or whatever, you know, as adults, we set the emotional example for how to react to things.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe Suzy Q was a little disappointed in herself because she fell out of that double pirouette, but it wasn't gonna make her cry.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: But if you, the parent, come up with heightened emotions over that mistake that you saw, well, what's Susie Q gonna do?
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: She's gonna get upset because you're upset.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, be the example of of how you want your children to react to things.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's many of us in this generation who, you know, for whatever reason were raised by people who didn't do that very well and are just learning how to do that ourselves.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I don't have to react to you.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your reactions, I'm not, like you said, Emily, I'm not I'm not responsible for an adult's another person's emotions.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: Your emotions are your emotions.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_00: But children don't know that yet.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we have to teach them that.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that is like the setting the example, I think, also goes into when things don't go your way as far as awards, which is gonna happen all the time.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: And this is like a life lesson for your child, right?
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_02: You're not always going to win, you're not always going to get first place.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe someone was better than you that day.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, can you believe it?
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's just life.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_02: That was the cards that you were dealt today.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: You might have got given your best performance, but those three judges just didn't think it was the best they've seen.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_02: And they saw something else and they picked that for first.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: But how the parent it chooses to handle that when they hear the awards, or when you can approach your kid after awards, and they might be happy with second, but the parent isn't.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like that is that is not gonna sit well with the kid.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be it's gonna be emotional mentally for them to understand how to handle that.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_02: Well, mom doesn't think I did well, dad didn't think I did a good job, I got second place.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that just understanding how you react to those types of things and getting your dancers to be understanding of teamwork and being a good sport and losing gracefully, I think is important.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna, it's gonna go with you throughout your life.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's why we do competitions, is for a lot of life lessons.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that I feel like that I my my mom was pretty good at just kind of sitting back and saying, good job.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes she, I mean, I feel like Leslie, you hear me talk about my mom all the time.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_02: So you're got a real weird face.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_02: You're probably sitting here thinking, how is that possible that she didn't say a thing when I would get off a stage?
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_02: And now that I'm looking back, she did.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_02: But but I feel like I I I learned how to how to handle it.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I wouldn't always win, but I wasn't that upset about it.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_02: And as long as my mom didn't get on me, then I would be okay, you know?
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_02: I understood how what it felt to lose growing up.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I've taken that with me into my adult years.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_02: But I think if parents can, you know, set that example for their children, mom and dad, and all the parents, grandparents, everybody, the whole family.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_02: Just make sure when they come off stage, like you said, Emily, like always just tell them that you did a great job, awesome work.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_02: So proud of you.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_05: Let's let's we have another one.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_05: We probably have a quick change.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_05: Let's let's go.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_05: We gotta move on.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_05: Like you can always say this.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_05: Like, how your feelings say congratulations to the winners, set that tone as an adult, too.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_05: Look at a little league game.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_05: They all shake.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_05: Good game, good game, good game.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_05: Winners and losers all together looking each other in the eye.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_05: I think we've lost that a little in this decade.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_05: So we and and thank yous, like thank your judges, thank you.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_05: When you do win, be humble.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_05: Thank your teachers.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_05: Please read what we give you.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_05: That's what I was gonna say.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my goodness.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_05: And then read it again.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_05: Then read it again.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_05: I read it out loud.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_05: Then sometimes I'm like, I will donate a toy.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_05: We had a toy drive.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, for every person who responds with this phrase, I will donate a toy.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_05: Eight people.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_05: Eight people out of twenty five.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh wow.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, oh my god, you guys.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was one of the major, major, major ones that we got from our little poll.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think everybody's busy.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like we're all really busy.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_00: We we had a a situation today with this very podcast that just things got confusing and then something was worded wrong, and it was like, what?
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you just got you just have to read.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to take the time to read things because your dance teachers and your studio owners, not only do they probably have a family of their own, especially your dance teachers probably have another job, if not multiple other jobs besides teaching dance.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if somebody took the time to like lay out an email with your costume information, your dates, your schedule, your timing, your all everything you need to know, read it.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_02: Read it.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because they don't have time for you to send a text message at seven o'clock at night while they're teaching class to say, hey, what time did Susie Q need to be at ballet tomorrow?
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because 15 other people are going to email, like text her the same thing and ask the same question, and Miss Emily does not have the time.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was in the email.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was in the email.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um Yeah, I mean, as like office manager specifically for our competition team, I send an email every week.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is your rehearsal schedule.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is when you need to be here for this week.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: What time do I need to come?
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's sent every Monday night at 9 p.m.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like clockwork.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_01: It should be the first thing you open Tuesday morning.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like you know it's gonna be in your inbox.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_01: Just read it.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it takes time to sit through and write all of that and lay it out.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and then again, like what your example, Leslie, about a mom or a parent texting the teacher at seven o'clock while they're teaching.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_02: Again, should parents even have the teacher's direct phone number for texting purposes?
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't know.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_02: Text message feels very personal to me.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like an email is different than a text message.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that if you're a dance parent, maybe an email is the better, or like maybe not a Facebook message.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_02: Should you even be friending your dance teacher on Facebook?
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_02: Should your kids be friending your dance teacher on Instagram?
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_02: Podcast, podcast, podcast.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: Boundaries in the dairy studio.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because like you said, like they have lives too.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_02: They have personal lives, they have families.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, everyone's different.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone has a different approach.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know, some people might be like, yeah, sure, you can friend me on Facebook, but just don't bother me on Facebook or, you know, whatever it is, or hey, I don't I don't pass out my direct text message number, like please email me at the studio like email or something like that.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I think everyone's different with how they do that, but I think that you have to respect the teacher's time as well.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_02: When they are off the clock, they're off the clock.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_02: They they they just taught dance until nine o'clock with your children.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_02: We don't need text messages at 10, 11 p.m.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_02: at night.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_02: Asking a question about what was in an email that you should have read.
• 1:02:01
  unknown: Yes.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_05: I'll just reforward a screenshot the email.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_05: And then please read.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's passive aggressive, but it gets the job done, you know, and it also sends a message.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_05: Sometimes that's all you have time for.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_05: I can't explain.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 1:02:19
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_01: You can't type this all out again.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and just, you know, uh, especially at at bigger studios, you know, there's hundreds of kids in some dance companies.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's how does anybody expect anybody to know what Suzy Q's schedule is?
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what my schedule is.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm one person and I don't have a full-time job right now.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't even know.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it's, you know, just read.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: Read.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: Read, take the moment, take the minute, take some time and read and put it in your calendar.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, even if, and I think this is sometimes a big problem, is that I think a lot of studios send out like a big giant email at the beginning of the season with whatever dates they already have available and the schedule and the this and you know, and I can understand that it is hard for some people and some families to look to, you know, it's August 31st and you just started class and you're trying to put something on the schedule for April, you know, potential dates for this or that, and like, oh, I'll do that later.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I get the sort of procrastination of that, and like why when it comes to April, when you never told me that.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yes, I did, but it was in an email from August 31st.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, fair.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also that's just life.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_00: Put it in your calendar.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_00: Put it in.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_00: Mark it in the calendar.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_05: Put it in the Google sphere, and it'll all be fine.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_05: Everybody gets a folder.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_05: There's a there's a QR code in our in our studio now that they scan to get to you, can get anywhere in that folder.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_05: You are so fancy.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_05: Go out there and scan that card.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_05: Just go ahead.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's amazing.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's great.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_05: I like that.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_02: Great tip for all the studios out there.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_05: We should do it.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_05: We should do a studio tip.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_05: Tip pod.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_02: We should.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely should bring some studio owners on and say, What works for you?
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_02: What doesn't work ideas here?
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_02: Be super helpful.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_00: One other little thing that I wanted to mention that was mentioned a couple times and has been mentioned to me personally out of this context.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a veteran dance parent, if you've got three kids like Emily's family that danced 100% all they did growing up, and you know the ropes, be friends with the new dance mom whose kids only played lacrosse until little Sally came along and she wanted to be a ballerina.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_00: That lady doesn't know anything about the dance studio.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_00: She needs a friend.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, take these new dance parents under your wings.
• 1:04:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you have information to share, because you know, I'm not a dance parent, but like I grew up in the dance studio seeing firsthand how daunting, you know, some of these things are.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that was back in the 90s.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's only harder now because there's technology involved, because there's a QR code.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm sure the lacrosse team doesn't have a QR code, which your dance studio somehow does.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_00: So like give give the tidbits, give the tips and tricks to your new dance parent friends, because I think that they will be so grateful.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_02: Great final tip, Leslie.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_02: So helpful.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well, everybody, we talked about a lot of things today.
• 1:05:05
  SPEAKER_02: And parents out there listening to this episode, I hope you maybe learned something new, or maybe you just heard it for the 500th time from us.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe this has already been discussed from your studio owners and your teachers at your dance studio, because I'm sure all of these things hopefully have been, but we're here to just reiterate it one more time for y'all, coming from four different voices in the dance world.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much, Hillary and Emily, for joining us and sharing your perspective and insight on this important discussion.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I would love for both of you to lead us out with any final thoughts you have when it comes to parent etiquette.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_01: I guess just follow the chain of command, whether you're at competition, convention, in the studio.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you have something that's on your mind, if you have something that you're concerned about, ask your teacher first.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_01: They're gonna have a better answer than a fellow dance parent or just some random person standing around.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_01: Just ask your teacher first and then go from there, and everything will get sorted out much easier.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_05: I'd say my biggest piece of advice would be just be patient with the process, be patient with your child and your teachers, and read your email.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_02: We hope you enjoyed our latest throwback episode all about parent etiquette.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_02: Huge shout out to our IBA judges and special guests, Hillary and Emily, for joining us on TikTok.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_02: Don't forget to follow them on Instagram.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_02: You can find Emily at MBranagan and Hillary at HDVinski.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to follow Making the Impact on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Podcasts, and pretty much everywhere you listen to podcasts.
• 1:06:45
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• 1:06:49
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• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_00: Join now at Impact Dance Adjudicators.com slash Platinum Premium or click the link in our show notes.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_00: Next up on Making the Impact, look forward to an episode all about lyrical dance, a throwback episode, and a special QA with Courtney.