Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #456 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#456 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, like kids be kids, let them enjoy the mud pile,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: because the hoes can clean up pretty much anything.
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  Speaker 1: Right, And now here's the stars of our show, My
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  Speaker 1: Mom and Dad.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: One of the great secrets of podcasts is that we
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: often pretend that things are happening as we speak. But
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: every now and again we jump into the studio a
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  Speaker 3: little bit early and get things done ahead of time.
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  Speaker 3: And that's what we've done for today's podcast. This is
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  Speaker 3: an old do Better Tomorrow for the fourth of March,
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  Speaker 3: but we're actually recording it a few days early, right
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  Speaker 3: at the peak of Brisbane's floods.
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  Speaker 2: Well, the only reason I'm here is because I can't
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  Speaker 2: get home.
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  Speaker 3: So we've got a place where we're renting, hiring a
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  Speaker 3: place on the coast because that's where we're moving. But
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  Speaker 3: you've been with me for a few days now, and
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  Speaker 3: I kind of feel like our family is all back
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  Speaker 3: together again, and it's heaven. Well except for the fact
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  Speaker 3: that you don't want to be here.
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  Speaker 2: No, I was about to say it could be heaven,
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  Speaker 2: except for now the house is fully dressed ready to
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  Speaker 2: be sold, and I don't want anyone sitting on this
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  Speaker 2: beautiful white furniture with its beautiful fluffy cushions.
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  Speaker 3: Well, that was gonna be one of my big things
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  Speaker 3: for older Better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 4: Don't buy nice furniture.
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  Speaker 3: So we've spent some money to have the professional stages
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  Speaker 3: come in and make our house look pretty so that
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  Speaker 3: we can sell it. We can't sell it because the
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  Speaker 3: rain has destroyed our gardens and the landscapes have to
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  Speaker 3: come in and fix all of that up. And every
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  Speaker 3: time the kids move towards some furniture, you're like, no,
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  Speaker 3: sett on the floor, You're not sitting on the good furniture.
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  Speaker 3: That's not even our furniture. Stay wait, getting the food
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  Speaker 3: away from there.
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  Speaker 5: It's been a little bit stressful.
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  Speaker 3: This is not how it's supposed to be when we're
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  Speaker 3: all together in our houses.
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  Speaker 4: I mean horrible.
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  Speaker 3: Anyway, we're going to talk more about our old do
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  Speaker 3: better tomorrows in just a second, because even though we're
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  Speaker 3: recording this a few days early, there has been so
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  Speaker 3: much going on for us that we don't have any
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  Speaker 3: problems talking about how we can be better parents tomorrow
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  Speaker 3: based on our elections on the week so far that
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  Speaker 3: has been.
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  Speaker 4: But before we do that, Kylie.
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  Speaker 3: Every now and again we get some really nice feedback
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  Speaker 3: on the podcast, and I wanted to share some today
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  Speaker 3: that came through from Shay, who emailed us via podcasts
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  Speaker 3: at Happy Families dot com dotu to pass on some
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  Speaker 3: feedback missus Happy Families. Now, we don't normally read too
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  Speaker 3: much of the feedback that comes through, but this one
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  Speaker 3: just touched me and I thought I would share it,
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  Speaker 3: especially on the back of last week's I'll Do Better Tomorrow,
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  Speaker 3: where you and I both shared how we've been struggling
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  Speaker 3: a bit as parents, or we had been and made
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  Speaker 3: a few failures. So she said, I've been listening to
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  Speaker 3: you both and reading your books for the past eight years,
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  Speaker 3: even before I had children, I would listen to you
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  Speaker 3: on your segment on the radio. I've always found your
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  Speaker 3: information to be helpful, informative, up to date, and so
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  Speaker 3: importantly coming from a place of compassion and humility. And
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  Speaker 3: then Shay says this today, I listened to your I'll
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  Speaker 3: Do Better Tomorrow episode about the big emotions that happened
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  Speaker 3: over the weekend and how both you, Justin and Kylie,
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  Speaker 3: who have all of this additional expertise in the area.
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  Speaker 3: Still it difficult, still didn't do it perfectly, and still
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  Speaker 3: got to the point of tears. Can I just say
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  Speaker 3: a huge thank you for being so honest and transparent
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  Speaker 3: with your audience to share something like that. I feel like,
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  Speaker 3: out of all the things I've read and listened to
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  Speaker 3: on parenting, it felt so reassuring to know that even
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  Speaker 3: experts still have hard moments, and even experts have moments
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  Speaker 3: that make them cry.
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  Speaker 4: I think, particularly.
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  Speaker 3: Kylie sharing that she cried helped me, as a mom,
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  Speaker 3: feel that it's okay if after seven or eight years
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  Speaker 3: of parenting and learning as much as I can do
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  Speaker 3: to be a better parent, I can still also have
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  Speaker 3: those moments and cry and it's okay. And I can
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  Speaker 3: also have those moments when I feel like a failure,
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  Speaker 3: and that's.
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  Speaker 4: Probably a part of the whole journey. Now.
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  Speaker 3: Shay went on further and talk about how we've never
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  Speaker 3: claimed to be perfect parents, which we don't.
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  Speaker 4: But I just thought, what a wonderful.
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  Speaker 3: Message to get, and that's what this segment is really
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  Speaker 3: all about. That's why we do I'll do better on
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  Speaker 3: a Friday, I'll do better tomorrow on a Friday, because
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  Speaker 3: we make a mess of things hunt from time to time,
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  Speaker 3: me more than you probably, And I think it's really
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  Speaker 3: important that people like Shay, in fact, any parent, that
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  Speaker 3: this podcast is not for the perfect parent who doesn't
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  Speaker 3: need answers now, it's for the time poor parent who's
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  Speaker 3: really struggling and wants some kind of an answer hopefully
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  Speaker 3: now ish.
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  Speaker 2: You know, feedback like that has been a little bit emotional. It's,
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  Speaker 2: as Shay acknowledged it can. It feels really vulnerable at
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  Speaker 2: times to kind of put yourself out there and share
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  Speaker 2: your failures, and we have plenty of them. But I
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  Speaker 2: just I hope that I'm doing so that people recognize
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  Speaker 2: that they're doing the best they can and that they
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  Speaker 2: can resonate with the things that we're sharing and see hope,
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  Speaker 2: And I'm so grateful that you know, the things that
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  Speaker 2: we share have given Shay hope.
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  Speaker 3: Well, let's dive into this week's I'll Do Better Tomorrow.
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  Speaker 3: We've kind of already spilled the beans on a little
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  Speaker 3: bit of it. I'm going to go first today because
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  Speaker 3: you often have some really great stories in this week.
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  Speaker 3: Not so much for me, because I've been so busy
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  Speaker 3: dealing with getting the house ready and try to keep
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  Speaker 3: the kids off the furniture so that you don't have
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  Speaker 3: to get cranky yet. And I was going to actually
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  Speaker 3: talk about how hard it's been to just like I'm
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: supposed to be happy that the family's together because of
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  Speaker 3: the rain and the fact that you've been stranded in
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  Speaker 3: Brisbane with me for several days, and I really am,
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  Speaker 3: and I have really loved being around the kids, but
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  Speaker 3: it's also been really stressful because we've got all the
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  Speaker 3: nice furniture, and we've got the house apparently ready for sale,
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  Speaker 3: and so we're not allowed to kind of just live
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  Speaker 3: like we normally would, and it's been so stressful. But
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  Speaker 3: in spite of my take home message being don't buy
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  Speaker 3: nice furniture when you've got young kids, the actual I'll
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  Speaker 3: do about it tomorrow that I want to share is
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  Speaker 3: a bit of a win. It's something that I think
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  Speaker 3: is really really cool. One of our kids, our eighteen
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  Speaker 3: year old, has been stuck on the Sunshine Coast without
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  Speaker 3: us for multiple days while you've been down here, unable
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  Speaker 3: to get back. And she's eighteen years old, she's doing
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  Speaker 3: year twelve. And while we have been in touch with
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  Speaker 3: her regularly over the phone. She's pretty much done it
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  Speaker 3: all herself. She's looked after her cooking, the cleaning, she's
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  Speaker 3: done her school work, She's done all the stuff that
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  Speaker 3: she needs to do. She's gotten around, she's been safe,
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  Speaker 3: she's kept us in the hoop about what's going on.
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  Speaker 3: She's handled herself like an adult. And I'm just sort
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  Speaker 3: of I'm sitting back here, going maybe we've done okay
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  Speaker 3: with this one.
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  Speaker 4: Like she's been a superstar.
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  Speaker 5: She really has been a superstar.
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  Speaker 2: But what I loved out of this whole experience was
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  Speaker 2: actually that she she rang a big sister and was
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  Speaker 2: having a chat with her, and her big sister kind
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  Speaker 2: of said to her, so, what are you gonna have
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  Speaker 2: for dinner tonight? She said, well, I've got this bacon.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know how long it's been in the fridge
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  Speaker 2: for it smells a little bit weird.
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  Speaker 5: And Chanelle's like, you got to get rid of that.
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  Speaker 5: What else have you got?
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  Speaker 2: She's like, well, there's some chicken here. And she went
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  Speaker 2: through the not very much because I'd left knowing that
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  Speaker 2: I was fridge. I was coming back and doing the groceries,
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  Speaker 2: and so between the two of them, they created a
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  Speaker 2: shopping list, and then she was able to go off
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  Speaker 2: to the shops and organize herself for the next few days.
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  Speaker 2: And I just I loved how there was teamwork, that
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  Speaker 2: together they could work it out, and that she wanted
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  Speaker 2: her sister's input.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, brilliant. One other really quick win while we're
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  Speaker 4: at it.
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  Speaker 3: We had to do some handiwork in the house as
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  Speaker 3: we're getting it ready for sale, and I left our
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  Speaker 3: fourteen year old daughter with the power drill and with
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  Speaker 3: a set of units that need to be pulled apart,
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  Speaker 3: and she did it all by herself. I said, here's
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  Speaker 3: what you've got to do. Here's the screwdriver, here's the drill,
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  Speaker 3: here's what you need to do. And twenty minutes later
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  Speaker 3: the job was done, and I just went, ah, I
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  Speaker 3: love this. We've we've got to equip our kids for life.
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  Speaker 2: She's probably better with the screwdriver than you've got the
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  Speaker 2: sounds of it.
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  Speaker 3: After the break, we're going to find out Kylie's I'll
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  Speaker 3: do better tomorrow. And how to make lemons out of lemonade? No,
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: hang on, that's around the wrong way. How to make
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  Speaker 3: lemonade out of lemons?
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families.
• 7:37
  Speaker 6: Podcast for a happier family. Try a Happy Families membership,
• 7:42
  Speaker 6: because a happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy
• 7:45
  Speaker 6: families dot com dot au.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for a time
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. And we've had
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: a lot of lemonade this weekend, well, we've.
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  Speaker 4: Had a lot of rain.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know about lemonade, Kylie. What's your ill do
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  Speaker 3: better tomorrow? What what have you learnt this week? That's
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  Speaker 3: going to be helpful for parents who are navigating the
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  Speaker 3: challenges that children often offer us.
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  Speaker 2: Well, obviously we've acknowledged that there's been a whole heap
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  Speaker 2: of rain come through Brisbane over the last few days
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  Speaker 2: and weeks, and our house in particular has received a
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  Speaker 2: lot of that. I feel like we literally sat under
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  Speaker 2: that cell for how many days, three or four days.
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  Speaker 3: The clouds just didn't move. The range just kept on landing,
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  Speaker 3: like day after day.
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  Speaker 4: It was full on.
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  Speaker 2: And so as we're preparing to get ready for sale,
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  Speaker 2: we've had the landscapers come in.
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  Speaker 5: They've brought a whole heap of dirty in.
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  Speaker 4: I don't want to talk about this.
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  Speaker 2: And some of it didn't make it, did There was
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  Speaker 2: a day and a half, two days worth of work
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  Speaker 2: that these guys did, and the rain washed it all
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  Speaker 2: the way.
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  Speaker 4: So they're back here at the moment we're.
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  Speaker 3: Going to go there, and they're cleaning it all up
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  Speaker 3: so that they can start again.
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  Speaker 4: Like we've lost a week's worth of labor. And I
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  Speaker 4: don't even know. Oh god, we're talking about lemonade right now.
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  Speaker 3: I know, okay, all right, well where's the lemon where's
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  Speaker 3: the lemonade?
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  Speaker 5: There's lots of leamons, you do. It's talking.
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  Speaker 2: But having the kids in the house, like we said,
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  Speaker 2: a fully dressed house, beautiful white to display furnit, and
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  Speaker 2: they can't.
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  Speaker 4: Get outside because it's pouring with.
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  Speaker 2: Rain, well, unless you're Emily. As a seven year old,
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  Speaker 2: all of that rain was just heaven for her. And
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  Speaker 2: so the next thing I've seen, she's out there. She
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  Speaker 2: looks like a drowned rat.
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  Speaker 4: She is wearing her swimmers.
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  Speaker 2: Making dams out of all of the water features that
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  Speaker 2: are now running through our property. And I just didn't
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  Speaker 2: have the heart to stop her. It was so much
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  Speaker 2: fun watching her.
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  Speaker 4: We've got like a three cubic meter pile of soil.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, this is I.
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  Speaker 3: Haven't got to that point, a big, big lump of soil.
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  Speaker 3: I'm talking, it's filling the driveway.
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  Speaker 2: And the next thing, the boys from next door are
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  Speaker 2: with her and she's found the mud pile.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, and literally this soil has become a three cubic
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  Speaker 3: meter mud pie.
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  Speaker 2: And they were in heaven from top to toe, head
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  Speaker 2: to toe, building tunnels.
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  Speaker 3: Climbing on it in mud, because that's what soil becomes
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  Speaker 3: once it's wet, and three cubic meters is a lot
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  Speaker 3: of soil.
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  Speaker 2: And all I could think about was, I'm really glad
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  Speaker 2: Dad's not here at the moment because I think this
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  Speaker 2: would stress them out. But you know what, you're not inside,
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  Speaker 2: you're not playing on the Christians and the white furniture,
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  Speaker 2: and you are in heaven.
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  Speaker 5: And so I just let them play.
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  Speaker 3: And then they stood under the hose and got all
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  Speaker 3: the mud off themselves before they did walk into the
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  Speaker 3: laundry and into the bathroom to clean up.
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  Speaker 4: So the older better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 3: Take home message for today is, first of all, make
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  Speaker 3: sure you equip your kids, like teach them give them
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  Speaker 3: the screwdriver, give them the sauce, and give them access
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  Speaker 3: to the oven, the stove of whatever, and teach them
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  Speaker 3: how to survive on their own because one day you
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: might find yourself stranded, well, they might find themselves stranded
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: and they need to be able to do it. But
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  Speaker 3: the other take home message, Kylie.
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  Speaker 5: Let kids be kids. Let them enjoy the mud pile.
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  Speaker 4: Because the hoe can clean up pretty much anything. Right.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: We hope that you enjoy your weekend.
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  Speaker 3: We hope that it's not too wet wherever you are,
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: and if you've been affected by the floods or if
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: you're affected by any of the major conflicts that are
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: happening around the world, we hope that your family is
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: safe and happy. The Happy Family podcast is produced by
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Justin Rulan from Bridge Media and Craig Bruce is our
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: executive producer. Hopefully this gives you some inspo to help
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: your family your parenting to be better. Tomorrow next week,
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: we're back with a conversation about how to defend young
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: minds against pornography and keep them digitally safe, and when
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: should parents get involved in the kids' schoolyard issues. It's
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: all coming up on the Happy Families Podcast. If you'd
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: like more info, visit Happy Families dot com dot au
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: or check out our Facebook page doctor Justin Colson's happy
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: families