Latest / Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate / 10. Hitting Rock Bottom at Sixteen with Aiden Bloch

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10. Hitting Rock Bottom at Sixteen with Aiden Bloch · Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Did I ever tell you about the girl who was a paperweight?
0:02
SPEAKER_00: So she had a drinking problem and she would get with abusive guys, she would get beat up and whatever, and then she'd go to her mom's house, knock on the door, and be this pitiful thing, and her parents would take her in.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: And when she was all doing well, she'd go back out, drink, hook up with somebody, and get another horrible relationship.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: So now one time she shows up at her parents' house, she's had her jaw wired shut.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: And the mom said, had something written out for her to for when this happened because she couldn't confront telling her, just gave her a note and closed the door and said, We're never helping you again until you get help.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: That girl went instead to Barney's Beanery, good bar at Barney's, scrounged up enough money for a beer.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: I think she gives a hand job to somebody, get some money for some more beers.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: You down to hand jobs, you know what I mean?
0:49
SPEAKER_00: When your mouth's hard shut.
0:56
SPEAKER_06: Damaged goods.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbott.
1:00
SPEAKER_06: But are we good though?
1:01
SPEAKER_06: Are we good?
1:01
SPEAKER_00: We are good.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay, sorry.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: We're really good.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: It should be damaged greats.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: Where we celebrate the dance and cracks and bad decisions that made us who we are.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: And of course, I'm sitting here with my very funny, talented, and weird co-host, Alex Dufont.
1:17
SPEAKER_06: Oh, thank you so much for the kind words.
1:19
SPEAKER_06: I appreciate it, Andrew.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, you're welcome.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: But today it's so exciting because it's a comic that we both know and love.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: He's killing it and he's unique and totally fits the vibe of this podcast.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: Mr.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: Aiden Bloch.
1:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, baby.
1:35
SPEAKER_02: Great to be here.
1:36
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for coming.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you could come.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: This is so cool.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: Do you identify with this name, this title?
1:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, yeah, so much.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: Because like I didn't research the podcast fully.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: I knew it was yours.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: Um, but bad decisions, that's that's my stuff.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: Right?
1:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: Bad decisions.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: I made so many.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: I can't see it on your arms.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, dude.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: I can't everywhere.
1:56
SPEAKER_05: I'm kidding.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: I'm kidding.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, Aiden is super young.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm super old, and I guess you're medium.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: It's like that, it's like the three beds.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, this one was too hard.
2:06
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, but I look older than both you guys.
2:07
SPEAKER_06: So that's the amazing part.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: That's my own issues.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: But Aiden, how young are you?
2:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm 19.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: 19, damn, 19, and you've been doing comedy for how long?
2:19
SPEAKER_02: Four years.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Four years.
2:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, four years now.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: Now, does that align with your date of being clean?
2:27
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't fully align with it, but um, so I I originally I got sober at 14 and then started stand up at 15, almost 16, and then I went out around I think I was 16 or 17, and then like didn't take long for me to like get back into just a couple months.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just a couple months.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's good.
2:49
SPEAKER_02: And then um, and then back in it.
2:52
SPEAKER_02: Now I have almost two and a half years, or no, a little more than two and a half years.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: So that's awesome.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: That is so awesome.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: I think they should give little stars for um, because I I have uh a lot of friends who are clean and sober.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Shout out to everybody without names.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: But some when they went out stayed out for three years.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: Some when they went out, went out for two weeks.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: I feel like there should you there should be some kind of chip acknowledgement, like a little something.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, you hey, you stayed out way less than you did last time, or you know, you get something for coming back quick.
3:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: I feel like how I am.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: I just the reason I got back so quick is because it I made it terrible so fast.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:36
SPEAKER_02: So that's me.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
3:37
SPEAKER_02: That's how I do it.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's how uh doing something in excess can be beneficial.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Right?
3:46
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're like, oh fuck, I almost died.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: I better go back.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: Right?
3:50
SPEAKER_01: For sure.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: So what if you say you got clean at first at 14?
3:54
SPEAKER_00: So that when did you start using?
3:57
SPEAKER_02: Uh I think around like 11 or 12.
4:00
SPEAKER_02: It was mostly weed, 11 or 12.
4:02
SPEAKER_06: What's uh your joke you say about being sober?
4:05
SPEAKER_06: What's your joke?
4:06
SPEAKER_02: I have a couple.
4:07
SPEAKER_06: Uh where it's like I'm I'm it's like I'm sober, but how to do it has to do with your age.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I started drinking young.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: Um why can't I remember this joke now?
4:19
SPEAKER_02: Uh sober, which means I started drinking very young.
4:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm seeing someone like that, right?
4:24
SPEAKER_02: I was drinking at the same time.
4:25
SPEAKER_02: My friends are playing with action figures, and I used to try to get them to drink with me.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: I'd be like, you know, Iron Man likes to drink a lot too, right?
4:31
SPEAKER_02: And that gets like a little chuckle, but then I go, that's a Robert Downey Jr.'s an alcoholic joke.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: And then that's like that.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: And then I have a couple other ones.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: But he smashed into somebody's house.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Remember when he got voted and went into somebody's window?
4:44
SPEAKER_02: Right.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: And and then he woke up in like a child's bed and it didn't look good.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Imagine.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Thank God it was the child not there.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the child wasn't there.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: I don't think good timing.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: What's the what what was your terrible thing?
4:57
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's a crazy thing that you've done while you were out or before you got clean?
5:02
SPEAKER_00: Your Robert Downey Jr.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: story, your Iron Man story.
5:05
unknown: Yeah, dude.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: I don't think of mine.
5:08
SPEAKER_02: I feel like mine was just so depressing, but like crazy things that I have done was like I try to fight people.
5:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, I tried to buy fentanyl from like a homeless guy.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: It's a really long story to say that.
5:23
SPEAKER_02: Did you well he ran away from me?
5:26
SPEAKER_02: He ran away from me.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: He was faster than you.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Fentanyl addict, homeless fentanyl addict past you.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: This little mighty you were like 18, 17.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: And then yeah, I mean old was he just FYI.
5:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he was probably around like 40 or 50.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: See, age is just a number, guys.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: I dude.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: Age is just a number.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: I uh I did crazy shit too.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I um well, the the the the thing I had to do, which I don't know, like you're buying it from homeless people on the street.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: Always a good move, folks.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: That's where you get the best buys.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: Forget Black Friday, homeless Friday is the way to go.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: But um, I when I was doing drugs, I had two guys to get it from.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: One was a very cool black guy named Bad News, and uh he was awesome.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: We called him news, you know, but uh for sure, but he was cool and he was all pimped out, you know what I mean?
6:31
SPEAKER_00: He looked he looked cool, he acted cool, and the thing that made him cool is he was a character, but he was all business, he wasn't gonna try to do shit.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so but then I had this other guy, and it doesn't really matter what people's race was, but this guy was Persian in Westwood, and uh he also had stuff for me, but um he would always be like, Well, what's what's the problem?
6:54
SPEAKER_00: You scored, I scored, everybody's happy, and then you had you know that's part of it, so you had to be willing to give it up to go there.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: So he was not your first phone call, right?
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Right.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: Did you ever have anybody that had was like uh not a great dealer?
7:09
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know.
7:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I remember when I first started like smoking weed, like buying my own stuff before I like get it from like you know, friends or something.
7:19
SPEAKER_02: But when I started buying my own stuff, there's this uh kid who would sell me like little weed pens, okay, but he would charge a lot.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: Oh and I was like a little kid, so I don't know where to get anything.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: So he's my only guy.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: So I had to just you know, I'd uh bike over to wherever and then buy it for a lot of money.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: Um how much are we talking?
7:43
SPEAKER_06: I think like two or three lunch tickets.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: I think I don't know, like like probably like sixty dollars for like a little oh my god, that's a happy meal toy, yeah.
7:55
SPEAKER_06: Sixty dollars for that forty to sixty, yeah.
7:57
SPEAKER_06: That's like six thousand kid dollars, dude.
8:00
SPEAKER_06: That's crazy.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: That's yeah, and then so so he was just taking advantage of it.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: Was he a kid too?
8:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he was like a couple years older than me, but you know, yeah, wow, wow.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: So it was probably hard for him to get it as well.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Maybe he's passing on the prices he got.
8:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that is true.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: That is very true.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: And then, and so you did weed, and then what?
8:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, it was just weed the first time I I got sober.
8:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was just weed.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: I didn't I wasn't really into drinking.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I did it a couple times, but I liked weed more, and then I got sober, and then when I went out, that's when I started like realizing like, oh my god, I love alcohol so much.
8:42
SPEAKER_02: And then how'd that lead to fentanyl?
8:45
SPEAKER_02: No, okay.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: This is like I explained it wrong, okay.
8:49
SPEAKER_02: But I was really drunk, and I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna go straight to fentanyl, skip zek.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: This guy is fentanyl, I'm gonna buy it from him.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: You can get fentanyl, yeah, yeah.
8:59
SPEAKER_02: So I just tried to, and he was like, No, I can't for some reason he was like a nice guy.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he was like a homeless guy looking out for you.
9:07
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, give it to me, motherfucker.
9:10
SPEAKER_02: And he wouldn't give it to me.
9:12
SPEAKER_02: So thank God for this guy.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh, I hope he's doing out there.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: Did you catch his name?
9:16
SPEAKER_00: We can give him a shout out.
9:17
SPEAKER_02: I have no clue what his name is.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh you know, my my old dealer, the nice guy news, uh, he ended up to be uh also uh I saw him on the streets.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Uh oh wow.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: And uh he was having like a really hot, heated uh, you know, debate with like a garbage can.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh how the mighty have fallen.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I was so that's what you did weed and then alcohol.
9:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: So that's when you went back after that day after the homeless guy ran away from you?
9:49
SPEAKER_02: I think so, yeah, yeah.
9:50
SPEAKER_02: I think it was the the next day.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: Wow, he really was helpful.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, look at how the homeless get, they don't get acknowledged as much as they should, right?
9:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he had your back, yeah.
10:03
SPEAKER_06: Did you have any money?
10:05
SPEAKER_02: No, or maybe I don't know.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh, so he was just like, you don't even have money.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: No, we didn't get to that part.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: No, he was trying to save him.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: I think he just wanted the money.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: People want can take blowjobs.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had to do sex for drugs?
10:18
SPEAKER_02: Um, no, I don't think so.
10:20
SPEAKER_06: Be careful about these stories.
10:21
SPEAKER_06: He's barely an adult.
10:23
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm I'm an adult, I'm legal.
10:25
SPEAKER_02: He's legal, uh, but I don't think I have, no.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's good.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: That's uh, I think that's like a boy thing.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it would be really it would suck to suck to suck.
10:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's suck to suck, and then I don't think I could have.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, maybe there's some like really weird people who would want to get those services from a child, but yeah, I was never an adult.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: You have a cute face.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: I think you could make do well on the street.
10:50
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
10:51
SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, if if comedy doesn't work out, that's my that's my plan B.
10:55
SPEAKER_06: You have a future, brother.
10:56
SPEAKER_06: You gotta you gotta you gotta bright future.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Look at that face, people.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: Look at this face.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: No, but um uh I've gone to uh I used to write a show for Showtime called Root Awakening, which is a great show, uh, way before before its time.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: It was about a girl who was court-ordered to go to AA, and she was an addict and an alcoholic.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: And uh so you know, court-ordered people are not always your most diligent people, right?
11:23
SPEAKER_00: Right.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: Right.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: So she was kind of flirting with the concept of being sober.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: But um anyway, uh yeah, so uh because of that, I went to thousands of not thousands, hundreds of NA meetings so that I could get it right and not be just talking out of my ass about it.
11:42
SPEAKER_01: Right.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: And I see that the court order people really bring the statistics of AA or NA down.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: The court orders you if you get a DUI or various things to go to this program, but you know, you can't order someone to want to change.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: And if they don't want to change, nothing is gonna work.
12:04
SPEAKER_02: Right.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: Not one thing, exactly.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: So then they just hang around and get their things signed.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: So and then also kind of put a little bit anyway.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: I my hat is off to people NAA and N A because I love people that take their life to the bottom and then rise up out of the ashes.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: That's like those that's a person I relate to.
12:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, for sure.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: What made you want to get sober the first time?
12:34
SPEAKER_02: The first time I was really depressed, just like everything under the sun.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: I had so much problems.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: But then uh a thing that scared me is dependency.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: Like I have a really big fear of depending on something, and I realized like, oh, if I don't smoke weed, then I'm just gonna be in pain all the time.
12:52
SPEAKER_02: Because I also have uh like a connective tissue disorder.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: So that's why I was like so connected to weed in the first place.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: I see, because it was solving the problem for a little while.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, and then like I realized, like, well, this is causing me to not eat.
13:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm like 80 pounds, I look terrible, I'm like fucked in the head, you know, like I can't really think for myself.
13:14
SPEAKER_02: Right.
13:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I realized like, oh, like I don't want to just do this for the rest of my life.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: Like I can't, like I'm just you know, it's not gonna work out.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: Right, right, right.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: So that's what so you so that they would call that like a high bottom.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: That's pretty high.
13:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: It's just like kind of realizing.
13:32
SPEAKER_02: I mean, there was like a lot of stuff, like I was super underweight and like unhealthy, but no real like situation.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't think in jail, you hadn't run over anybody, you weren't you weren't 5150 in or anything like that.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the most was yeah, uh the most was I went to Hawaii with my mom and then um I couldn't get weed there.
13:54
SPEAKER_02: So it's like like so then I was realizing there, like, oh like I can't do this, like I can't be sober, it's it's like too much for me, and then a lot of insecurities I had being sober.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: Right.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: And then like I I wouldn't go out on the beach because I didn't want to like show, like, because I have like scars on my legs and stuff.
14:13
SPEAKER_02: So um my mom saw that and she was like, Oh yeah, you're kind of like it's really bad, you know.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: And then she got you to AA or NA?
14:23
SPEAKER_02: Um, my parents are my parents are in sobriety, uh, but I they sent me to like uh an inpatient treatment.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: And then from there they would take us to little meetings, and uh, and that's where I realized, like, oh, these people are like cool and they got it figured out, and you know, I want to be more like them.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: I've met some really cool people.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: I remember this guy because his stories, it's like it's like going to dinner in a show.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
14:50
SPEAKER_00: Like it's a free movie, right?
14:52
SPEAKER_00: You can hear a real live hero.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: A real life hero be like, yeah, uh, this guy remember him.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: He said he was a nurse currently.
15:01
SPEAKER_00: He's like, here's what I am now, here's what I was, basically.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, I don't know how old he was, he was older.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: He's a nurse, and uh he was saying when he was young, he was a heroin addict, and he heard from somebody that in Vietnam, this during the war, that they had good heroin over there, so he joined.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: What signed up for the heroin?
15:25
SPEAKER_00: Signed up for the heroin, stay for killing people, you know what I mean?
15:28
SPEAKER_00: He that's what he did.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, he was out there strung out with his gun.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you imagine, but anyway, he lived to tell the tale.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: And uh did I ever tell you about the girl who was a paperweight?
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Did I tell you that?
15:44
SPEAKER_00: So this is a girl who who had a drinking problem.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: I remember, you know, these stories just stick with you.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: So she had a drinking problem, and she would get with abusive guys, she would get beat up and whatever, and then she'd go to her mom's house, knock on the door, and be this pitiful thing, and her parents would take her in, help her get her shit together and all that.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: And then when she was all doing well, she'd go back out, drink, hook up with somebody, and get another horrible relationship, and you know, to her parents.
16:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: So now one time she shows up at her parents' house, she's had her jaw wired shut.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Can't even talk.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: She's so fat, she's in a moo moo.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: You know what moo moo's are?
16:26
SPEAKER_00: They're just like a like a house dress, like a shapeless tent of a dress.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: Right, okay.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't hug your skin.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Like a tent.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Okay, wow.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Like if this was like this cowboy boots.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: And she knocks on her door, so her jaws wired shut, and she has a note for her mom saying, Can you help me?
16:47
SPEAKER_00: My boyfriend kicked, you know, broke my jaw and da-da-da, and I need help.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: And the mom said, had something written out for her to for when this happened because she couldn't confront telling her, just gave her a note and closed the door and said, We're never helping you again until you get help.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: Here are the places you can go.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: So that girl went instead to Barney's Beanery, good bar at Barney's, uh on Tunset or whatever in Hollywood, and she scrounged up enough money for a beer, and she's drinking that beer.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Then she, I think she gives a hand job to somebody, get some money for some more beers.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: You down to hand jobs, you know what I mean?
17:29
SPEAKER_00: When your mouth part shut, you're like, look at these hands oh.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: So she's giving hand jobs, getting beer money.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: So now the the bar is getting ready to close.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: And there's a guy, biker guy, sitting on the side of the bar, and he goes, Hey, you want to go to Palm Springs?
17:48
SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Wow, I still got it.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm in this moo moo, I can't talk, but I still got it.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: So he has a motorcycle and she gets on the motorcycle, he drives her to Palm Springs, she's hanging on to him, blah, blah, blah.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: They get to Palm Springs, right when he gets to the city limits, he throws her off the bike into the sand and says, See ya, I just needed you as a paperweight because it's windy.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: Whoa.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: Whoa.
18:14
SPEAKER_03: That's terrible.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: That's terrible, but that was her bottom.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: So now she's in a city, doesn't know.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: She's just out and she found a uh salvation army, and they said we don't have any beds, but we will in a few days or maybe a week.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: Just keep checking back.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: She lived in the bushes until they took her in, and then she had been sober like 12 years when I saw her in a business suit looking all great.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: Like you would never be knowing that.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: You'd be like, Who's this cool girl, this business boss bitch girl?
18:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but that was her thing.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's how low she had to go to be like, wait, wake up.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: Right, yeah.
18:54
SPEAKER_02: That's a crazy story.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: I know.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
18:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Now I have an interesting um little game for us to play.
19:02
SPEAKER_02: A game.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: Let's do it.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: This is called Addict Behavior or Just a Comedian.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: We can all relate.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: Now let's go.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: So let's go.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: Um borrowing 50 bucks.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: What do you say, Alex?
19:25
SPEAKER_06: I think that's that's just a comedian.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: What do you say, Aiden?
19:30
SPEAKER_02: I'd say both, but also comedian, yeah.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: I have not borrowed any money, but Alex, can you lend me some money?
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Aiden.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
19:41
SPEAKER_00: It fits both.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: I don't have the answers.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying these are commonalities.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: Like if you're an addict, you can still be a comedian.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
19:49
SPEAKER_06: It is an addiction.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: Same thing, yeah.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Well, the lifestyle is not that different.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: Disappearing for three days.
19:57
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, disappearing Thursday to Sunday.
19:59
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
20:00
SPEAKER_06: Coming back on Monday.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: But have you ever like gone off the grid just to get your own peace and quiet back and not want to deal with the audience or anybody?
20:09
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I was uh I didn't pay my phone bill for like three, four months.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: I just needed that to like take a break.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
20:16
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, exactly.
20:17
SPEAKER_06: You you couldn't call me.
20:18
SPEAKER_06: I couldn't.
20:18
SPEAKER_06: You were pissed off.
20:19
SPEAKER_06: My all my friends and family are pissed off.
20:20
SPEAKER_06: And I was like, Yeah, just text me.
20:22
SPEAKER_06: You don't have iMessage?
20:23
SPEAKER_06: Like I can still talk to you guys.
20:25
SPEAKER_06: Use Instagram.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that's what's such a pain in the ass.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh my God, Alex is homeless.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
20:31
SPEAKER_00: Cannot afford it.
20:32
SPEAKER_06: It's so funny when you tell people, yeah, I just don't have a phone.
20:35
SPEAKER_06: Like people think your like life's falling apart.
20:38
SPEAKER_06: It's like, no, this is kind of nice.
20:39
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: It is uh kind of nice, but now have you ever gone off the grid for like three days?
20:45
SPEAKER_00: I don't think so, unless I was in rehab, but so you did it as an addict, not as a not as a oh, and you couldn't even go off the grid because you've been with your mom, right?
20:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, there's still chance, there's still time, brother.
20:57
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I mean, we'll see.
20:59
SPEAKER_06: When you get to the big tw the big 20s, the big two zeros, you go crazy.
21:02
SPEAKER_06: It's scary.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: Did your parents were already addicts and in recovery when they they hooked up and got married and had you?
21:10
SPEAKER_02: I think that's where they met, but I think uh both of them may have had like little like slip-ups, like little relapses here, like here and there.
21:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but like now they're they're good.
21:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: So they saw the signs with you.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: They they knew what was going on.
21:26
SPEAKER_02: Ever since they were like really young, they're all also in AA, too.
21:30
SPEAKER_02: So wow.
21:31
SPEAKER_02: That's very inheritable.
21:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh 100%.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: My parents were both addicts, but they never went to recovery.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: That's really just died, you know?
21:43
SPEAKER_06: So um like you though, you say you have like crime that runs in your family and stuff, and I do have crime in my family.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: And then you have crime in family family?
21:51
SPEAKER_02: Crime?
21:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:53
SPEAKER_02: Uh I won't say, I mean, kind of.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: Like what kind of crime?
21:59
SPEAKER_02: Uh like Selling selling steroids.
22:01
SPEAKER_02: That's something my dad would do.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: And then he almost he almost went to jail, but um he didn't.
22:08
SPEAKER_02: Mark Wahlberg plays him in movies.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: Kidding game.
22:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: Where do you do that?
22:13
SPEAKER_00: Do you just go to the gym?
22:14
SPEAKER_00: That's where you I think so, yeah.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: I grew up like there was like a little like play place at the gym that like a little day.
22:20
SPEAKER_02: You were there.
22:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: In the play place while your dad was steroids.
22:25
SPEAKER_02: My dad was doing steroids and and uh yeah, and dealing them.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, we were always at the gym.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: Big part of my childhood.
22:33
SPEAKER_06: Are you sure you guys aren't related somehow?
22:37
SPEAKER_06: Because have them over for Thanksgiving.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, we don't have Thanksgiving anymore.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: But uh yeah, I'm gonna do Thanksgiving in Vegas this year, so that's good.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: No way, yeah, Vegas.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but but I just had a friend of mine that's been in uh NA for a while um do steroids and then have to like get off because he kind of went a little more on the steroids than he should have.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: They can anything could be addictive.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: That's why I fucking love comedy because I'm addicted to comedy.
23:07
SPEAKER_02: Are you I am 100?
23:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
23:10
SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't how long and Alex, you're addicted to comedy, right?
23:15
SPEAKER_06: Absolutely, yeah.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: How long could you go not doing comedy or writing a joke before your self-worth would just plummet?
23:26
SPEAKER_02: I have no clue.
23:27
SPEAKER_02: I I don't know because yeah, I don't I don't want to phone situation, yeah.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: It's not in the week.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: I would never go a week.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, it's you gotta do something for comedy at least.
23:39
SPEAKER_02: At least watch a podcast or I don't know.
23:42
SPEAKER_02: I always do at least one thing for comedy.
23:44
SPEAKER_02: I try to do more, like right.
23:46
SPEAKER_02: A week or a day.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: Oh, in a day, in a day, yeah.
23:50
SPEAKER_02: I I do at least like one thing for comedy.
23:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:53
SPEAKER_02: To like help myself, whether it's yeah.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: Me too, me too.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: If if a day goes by and I'm not doing comedy, yeah, I feel I feel like I disconnected from the like what are those robots where they, you know, you meld in a bike uh a Zygo, you know, they take all the personalities in a Borg.
24:16
SPEAKER_00: A cyborg?
24:17
SPEAKER_00: A cyborg.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I've disconnected and I'm like just out floating.
24:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
24:23
SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I doing?
24:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
24:24
SPEAKER_02: I feel like a piece of shit if I don't do anything.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm like, oh my god, like oh, I'm such a loser.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a hundred percent.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: Yes, true even driving home from a gig, which I did for eight hours yesterday, I felt like I was doing comedy and I wrote a joke.
24:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: What is your nationality, by the way?
24:42
SPEAKER_02: Uh, white and Armenian.
24:44
SPEAKER_02: White and Armenian, yeah, not not a lot Armenian.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: It's just my dad, he's a little Armenian, so I'm a little Armenian.
24:51
SPEAKER_02: Okay, besides that, just a white guy.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: So is your last name like Blockian or something?
24:55
SPEAKER_03: Blockasian?
24:56
SPEAKER_03: It's Bloch.
24:57
SPEAKER_03: Uh B-L-O-C-H.
24:59
SPEAKER_03: But Armenia is I-A-N or Y-A-N.
25:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I-A-N.
25:03
SPEAKER_03: Um, it's not Blockian.
25:05
SPEAKER_03: No, it's Bloch.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's probably why I gave you the Adian, because he brought it the Aden on the front.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: The A I N the N.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, wow, that was a long way to go.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: But why did I even ask about?
25:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh, to see if we were related.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm no Armenian.
25:18
SPEAKER_02: Uh, where are you?
25:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm Danish and Italian.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay, cool.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:23
SPEAKER_02: And plastic.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: Italian food.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: The classic.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: And plastic.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: And plastic.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: And plastic.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: Danish, Italian, and plastic.
25:29
SPEAKER_02: Did you grow up with like a like a did you grow up here?
25:32
SPEAKER_00: I grew up in California, in Fresno.
25:34
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
25:35
SPEAKER_02: Was it like, did you have like a really Italian family or just like I had a very Italian one side of my family, Sicilian.
25:42
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: And we went to Catholic school, then we were his little bambinos, blah, blah, blah.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: But uh, I was just part of him, and then the other part was 100% Danish.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: So it was uh it was an interesting combination.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: It was great.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: I it was great.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: I love my all my grandparents were fantastic.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: But why am I even getting into all that?
26:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, because you could be my son.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: I heard some comics say, I don't want to quote his joke, but it was so funny.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: It was so funny, it's so quotable.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: He's like, I'm really against gay sex.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: I think I believe in the Bible that it should be between a man and a woman where a man buys the w the daughter of the woman.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I know I know which guy you're talking about.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: That's Jeff Dye.
26:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh, Jeff Dye.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: What a great dancer.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: He's such a dude.
26:26
SPEAKER_02: I love watching Jeff die.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh, he is.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: You know Yamashiro?
26:29
SPEAKER_02: Yamashiro that's Yamashiro's yeah.
26:32
SPEAKER_02: So I'll go there, and Jeff dies there a lot.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: And I I just love watching him.
26:36
SPEAKER_02: He's such a great writer.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: So so good.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: He's really great writer.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: All right, so let's bring us to this sleeping until 4 p.m.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: I think what do you think that is?
26:50
SPEAKER_02: I think comic, because like addiction, you're staying up.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
26:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're staying up, but like you're not going to sleep.
26:58
SPEAKER_02: You you can't get to the sleep in order to get to I didn't sleep for days on end.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: I was doing speed.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: So sleep was I didn't ever sleep.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: That's how I've stayed so young looking.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: No, because I if you added all the days, oh, wouldn't this be great if you could add all the days you didn't sleep together and that equaled one day?
27:19
SPEAKER_00: So you could say many, many years.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Cause like if you didn't sleep for 12 days, that's one day.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: Then you sleep.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: That would be a great way to count time just by sleeps.
27:27
SPEAKER_02: Right.
27:28
SPEAKER_02: I wish it worked that way.
27:29
SPEAKER_06: It would be great.
27:30
SPEAKER_06: Everyone's days are different.
27:31
unknown: Yeah.
27:31
unknown: Everyone's days.
27:32
SPEAKER_06: If you're up for a few days, you know, you have a long day.
27:35
SPEAKER_06: That was only one day.
27:37
SPEAKER_06: It's one day.
27:38
SPEAKER_06: And then you count 365, right?
27:40
SPEAKER_06: That's a year.
27:41
SPEAKER_06: So, you know, with that math and your years of drug addiction, you're like 35, 36.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: I know.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: It's a fantastic.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: I my my son, when he was in prison, had a friend named Sleeps.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I guess I think because he was trying to sleep off, you know, his time.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: It's hard to sleep 25 years off, but you know, you can try.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: All right.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: So um, okay, making terrible financial decisions.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: I I'm gonna lean into addict um because when I was an addict, when I was an addict, I would blow so much money on drugs.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: A B expose myself to such terrible people.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: And C, I just wasn't thinking about the future.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: I had no future I was thinking about.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: I didn't care about the future, so why say about what what am I right, right?
28:38
SPEAKER_00: Right.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: So as a comic, I'm trying to make it happen.
28:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
28:42
SPEAKER_02: I agree with that.
28:43
SPEAKER_02: Because like that's addiction is literally the bad financial decisions.
28:48
SPEAKER_02: You're literally spending all your money for the on drugs, yeah.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and or lawyers, yeah, yeah, and or all that.
28:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, do you make a living as a comic now?
29:05
SPEAKER_00: Uh in your situation, you got a good situation.
29:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm in a good situation because my parents are letting me stay with them still.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:13
SPEAKER_02: Uh, not moving out yet.
29:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, so that I'm chill.
29:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:18
SPEAKER_02: I am making like a little money, but I also have right now I have two jobs, two day jobs.
29:24
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
29:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, but they're both part-time.
29:26
SPEAKER_02: Um I'm making some money like to save, you know, to save some money.
29:31
SPEAKER_02: And then yeah.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: That's cool.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: And are you making money as a comic right now?
29:36
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I quit my day job a few months ago.
29:38
SPEAKER_06: Nice.
29:38
SPEAKER_06: Isn't that awesome?
29:40
SPEAKER_06: Let's go.
29:40
SPEAKER_06: What's up, man?
29:41
SPEAKER_06: Definitely not paying for the studio space, but uh besides that, you know.
29:45
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: We're going on the road together in two days.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: In two days.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: Two weeks.
29:50
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, for two weeks.
29:51
SPEAKER_06: That's like a show a night for two weeks.
29:54
SPEAKER_06: Show a night.
29:54
SPEAKER_06: That's sick.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: She's gonna be like shocked about how what I do for my hair and my eyelashes.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: I'll be like, I'll be in curlers.
30:02
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, we'll be driving and she's gonna be like setting, yeah.
30:05
SPEAKER_06: It's gonna be nuts.
30:06
SPEAKER_06: It's gonna be fun though.
30:07
SPEAKER_06: It's gonna be fun.
30:08
SPEAKER_06: She, yeah, she's closing it out, doing like 45s every night.
30:11
SPEAKER_06: Nice.
30:11
SPEAKER_06: I'm doing like 30s or 40s, opening the show, just like getting fucking strong, you know.
30:16
SPEAKER_02: Dude, that's sick.
30:17
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
30:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm similar, even though I'm a boy, I I do style my hair, so I bring a flattening or whatever they call it, straightening iron, yeah, yeah, and then uh blow dryer, a bunch of products.
30:27
SPEAKER_02: So I'm like the same way, yeah, yeah.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: And you know, you have such beautiful eyes.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you so much.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, I used to go out with a lot of musicians.
30:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, shout out to every musician in the world, but we would both be putting mascara on at the same time.
30:43
SPEAKER_00: We wore the same clothes, we had earrings, mascara, eyeliner, blah, blah, and hair products.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was so you know, I don't know if people use that word much anymore, but androgynous.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what that means.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: It's a it's a girlish guy.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, did you ever watch Stephen Tyler from Meryl Smith?
31:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, androgynous.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: You're very androgynous.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: He is not androgynous.
31:09
SPEAKER_06: I try to be.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: You would never steal my mascara and we couldn't wear the same pants.
31:16
SPEAKER_06: No, or you wouldn't be.
31:18
SPEAKER_06: I would I wish that, man, because I was always like a chubby kid and like nerdy, but but even if I wish I was like skinny and like fucking cool and kids with like a rock star and shit like that.
31:27
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, well, you can.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: You just there's homeless people right down the street that can hook you up.
31:32
SPEAKER_06: I just say, Yeah, there you go.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: But but even if you were skinny, I don't think you would be androgynous.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
31:40
SPEAKER_06: No, I guess so.
31:41
SPEAKER_06: No, I get that, you know.
31:42
SPEAKER_05: I um got a beard.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, man.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: I guess so.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: I have uh once, what is some co what is some terrible stupid?
31:54
SPEAKER_00: Let me just look at my note here, okay?
31:56
SPEAKER_00: Because I had it that I thought was so good.
31:59
SPEAKER_00: I feel like trauma has made me funny.
32:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: Right?
32:03
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you're never making jokes about a good decision or a happy time.
32:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, yeah.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: Or a stable situation.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: What's like like a thing that you draw from in comedy that's a fucked up thing from your life?
32:17
SPEAKER_02: Um, I would say my connective tissue disorder called uh Ellers Downless Syndrome.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: What's it called?
32:22
SPEAKER_02: Um Ellers Down Low Syndrome.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: Eller's Down Dress.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: Well, say that three times drunk.
32:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it sucks.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: So I say EDS.
32:29
SPEAKER_02: EDS.
32:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, pain all the time.
32:32
SPEAKER_02: So I'm trying to write more on it.
32:34
SPEAKER_02: I've been so like I've been procrastinating writing and extending the bit.
32:37
SPEAKER_02: I've had the same fucking joke forever.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: Right, but what's the bit?
32:40
SPEAKER_00: Tell me the bit.
32:42
SPEAKER_02: Um I go, I was born with a rare connective tissue disorder called LR's Down Lessen, or EDS, and part of it is I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user, which means I'm only in it sometimes.
32:51
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
32:52
SPEAKER_02: Like a shitty transformer.
32:54
SPEAKER_02: Like a transformer feels a Prius.
32:57
SPEAKER_02: He's heard this joke like a million fucking.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: Of course.
33:00
SPEAKER_02: Of course.
33:00
SPEAKER_02: Project Barley.
33:01
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
33:01
SPEAKER_02: Project Barley.
33:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:03
SPEAKER_02: And then uh I use it at Disneyland.
33:05
SPEAKER_02: And uh, if you're in a wheelchair, you get to skip the whole line if you're in a wheelchair.
33:08
SPEAKER_02: But it's awkward whenever I get to the front of the line, because as you can see, I'm standing, I'll stand on stage.
33:13
SPEAKER_02: So as you can see, I'm standing, so I'll get up out of the wheelchair to get on the ride.
33:17
SPEAKER_02: And everybody in the normal line's like, what the fuck?
33:19
SPEAKER_02: Is the kid faking?
33:20
SPEAKER_02: So I gotta say something stupid, like, oh, it's a miracle.
33:23
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah.
33:24
SPEAKER_02: I like that one.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: It feels weird doing material on this because I have such like wordy jokes, but it's okay.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
33:32
SPEAKER_00: You um, you know, when you say EDS, it's kind of like ED.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, but I was thinking like EDM, only P.
33:40
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, EDM.
33:43
SPEAKER_02: So we're so I thought of ED erectile dysfunction, and you were like EDM, no.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: EDM.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, or you could say EDS, like erectile dysfunction.
33:54
SPEAKER_02: Syndrome.
33:54
SPEAKER_00: Syndrome.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: You'd rather have that.
33:57
SPEAKER_02: Probably.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because there's pills for that shit.
34:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
34:00
SPEAKER_02: So many out there now.
34:01
SPEAKER_02: Hymns.
34:02
SPEAKER_02: You know what's weird?
34:03
SPEAKER_02: I get the hymns commercials all the time.
34:04
SPEAKER_02: I'm 19.
34:05
SPEAKER_02: My shit works, but they still for some reason Instagram.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: Maybe because they hear you do your ED.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: Your ED joke.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: I I think Instagram hears you.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh, 100.
34:16
SPEAKER_02: I'm talking with my girlfriend about like, oh, I need new ear piercings, and then every single ad that I get on Instagram.
34:22
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it knows what you need before you do.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: Like, I got an ad for Valtrex before I even realized I had herpes.
34:29
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, I didn't know what that medication was first.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: I was like, what?
34:36
SPEAKER_00: Hey, I heard a uh thank you.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh a pharmacist.
34:40
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should say that on stage.
34:42
SPEAKER_00: Uh I heard a pharmacist talking, and he said, cool, he goes, you know, he's so he fills everybody's prescriptions out and he said that hot girls, and I'm hanging on to this for dear life, are bipolar, and then the really hot girls have herpes.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, yes, that's me.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh it was a thing.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: You know, it was like a milestone when I was coming up.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: You you went to uh school, you got herpes, you went to college.
35:07
SPEAKER_00: It was like a thing.
35:08
SPEAKER_00: You need to walk.
35:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:10
SPEAKER_00: Only people that didn't have herpes were like the ugly people, right?
35:13
SPEAKER_00: People who didn't fuck.
35:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:15
SPEAKER_04: Dude, I am clean.
35:17
SPEAKER_04: And okay, and what can we take from that?
35:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, do you have something that you wish you hadn't done?
35:26
SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
35:27
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
35:28
SPEAKER_02: I like the things way uh the the way things turned out for me.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: So, like, no regrets basically, but also um, yeah, I don't know.
35:38
SPEAKER_02: I feel like uh yeah, everything fell into place, but I did make a lot of bad decisions, like terrible decisions that I didn't mean to need to make.
35:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:47
SPEAKER_06: Things are still working out.
35:48
SPEAKER_06: Like you're so young, you're 19.
35:50
SPEAKER_06: Right, right.
35:51
SPEAKER_06: It's crazy.
35:52
SPEAKER_06: I I knew this kid before he had any tattoos.
35:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: Are you kidding me?
35:56
SPEAKER_06: Before the hair before the hair, he was still in high school.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: Well, what do you mean before the hair?
35:59
SPEAKER_00: You've always had tattoos.
36:00
SPEAKER_02: I used to have like uh like buzz cut or just long hair with you dye your hair this color.
36:04
SPEAKER_06: I do so look so good.
36:07
SPEAKER_06: I watched Hayden graduate high school, yeah, and then turn to the person he's always wanted to be.
36:12
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
36:12
SPEAKER_02: I've seen the shift.
36:14
SPEAKER_02: I got the job, I got the money to buy the hair dye, the piercings, the tattoos, and um this, but in high school I didn't have the money.
36:22
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
36:23
SPEAKER_05: So yeah, the uh pretty crazy it's pretty it's pretty crazy.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: And are you how many things have you pierced besides your face?
36:29
SPEAKER_02: Uh well, I pierced my nipple when I was 15.
36:32
SPEAKER_02: So that's before that's when I was in high school.
36:34
SPEAKER_02: But piercer, I took it.
36:37
SPEAKER_02: No, no, I got it done.
36:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh but I took it out.
36:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't have it anymore.
36:40
SPEAKER_02: I've had my eyebrow pierced a couple of times, but I took it out, and then I have this bridge piercing right here, and then that's it, I think.
36:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:49
SPEAKER_00: Nothing else.
36:50
SPEAKER_02: Nothing else.
36:51
SPEAKER_02: I my ears, yeah, obviously.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Your your ears.
36:54
SPEAKER_00: I met a guy, because I got I got a$500 plastic surgery from uh, this is long ago, from a guy I never met.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: This was before the internet, we didn't look it up, where a girl that was a ranch model, you know, those girls that are really big boobs and they lean over cars.
37:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, she's holding a wrench or whatever.
37:12
SPEAKER_00: She was a ranch model, and she told me about this this surgeon that was in Utah that you could go to, and he did all the boobs of the uh strippers in Vegas.
37:21
SPEAKER_00: So that was like, oh well, then he's great.
37:24
SPEAKER_00: So um, so he gave me these uh fat injections here, very good for 500 bucks.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: He does it out of his house, but anyway, out of his house.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: Well, he then lost his license.
37:33
SPEAKER_00: He's not even a doctor anymore.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: But when I was there, I met Porn Stars of Plenty and Strippers of Plenty, and so I'm so you're you're you stay there to recover too at his house.
37:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
37:45
SPEAKER_00: So you're just hanging, leaning in the back.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: Listen to this.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: If this is not a great story, he this man is a dedicated uh surgeon slash regular guy now without his license.
37:58
SPEAKER_00: But he was doing liposection all night long.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: And and you know how they say uh I think it's called a surgery theater where doctors can watch.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: We he just was doing his living room, so you could you would walk by and see what's going on.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: Some girl laying there, and when they got liposection, they're already looked perfect.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: They're taking out a dot here, a dot there, a dot here, a dot there.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: Then he must have done some fat curls because he had a lot of bags of fat in his backyard.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: And you would hear that lipo machine going all night long, and then we'd be outside smoking cigarettes, leaning because it's Provo, Utah freezing, leaning against those bags of fat that are still warm.
38:36
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
38:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, that's terrifying.
38:39
SPEAKER_00: Having cigarettes, it was so fun.
38:41
SPEAKER_00: But oh, I'm reasonable I brought you.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: I met this guy who's talking about his girlfriend, he was so proud of her.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: She was some kind of backdoor porn star, or you know, like anal sex porn star, which you know, anal sex was not a big uh word at that time.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, he was like, You don't recognize her, Bo?
38:58
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, No, I sorry, but she's very beautiful.
39:01
SPEAKER_00: And he goes, We have an act where we travel together as a feature stripper act, a feature thing.
39:07
SPEAKER_00: I think that's what they call it.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: So he had like nine piercings in the back end of his dick going up.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, all the way near the top, which he showed me.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: So what he would do is be on stage.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't know where the chains came in, but he would put either chains around himself to his dick or she would pull him with what anyway, chains and piercings.
39:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I would never do that.
39:34
SPEAKER_02: You know what I would do though?
39:37
SPEAKER_02: You get to smoke cigarettes with a bunch of strippers in Utah.
39:41
SPEAKER_02: I want to get my cheeks done, dude.
39:45
SPEAKER_02: If he was still doing it, I would totally.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what?
39:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't think he is.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: He lost his license for some stupid reason.
39:51
SPEAKER_02: He would also operating in his living room.
39:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, he's in a he's in an unmarked grave somewhere in the desert.
39:57
SPEAKER_00: No, but one of the reasons he lost his license, he's he left all the drugs.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: Um, it was uh all the on-the-honour basis.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: He didn't have a nurse, first of all, he had a cleaning lady, so he didn't have somebody to come check on you or give you meds.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: So he would just show you, or his cleaning lady would show you around and say, here's the drug.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: If you need them, here's the closet.
40:18
SPEAKER_00: They'd be marked.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: So I was not into drugs at the time because I was clean and I didn't want to take any, I just took ibuprofen.
40:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: Shout out.
40:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, this this week is sponsored by ibuprofen.
40:31
SPEAKER_00: Please, ibuprofen.
40:32
SPEAKER_00: Come on.
40:33
SPEAKER_00: Uh look, I love ibuprofen.
40:36
SPEAKER_00: But um, but some of the kids would go in there and get more drugs than they should have.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: And I guess something, something, something happened.
40:45
SPEAKER_06: Wow.
40:46
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
40:46
SPEAKER_06: It's almost like you need regulations.
40:50
SPEAKER_06: Oh my gosh.
40:51
SPEAKER_06: Almost like you need a medical board of some sort.
40:53
SPEAKER_00: It's all of a facility.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: We didn't even have uh, what is that guy that put you to sleep?
41:00
SPEAKER_00: The anesthesiologist.
41:01
SPEAKER_00: There was no anesthesiologist.
41:02
SPEAKER_05: Wow, you just had a guest room with comfy couches, comfy pillows, man.
41:06
SPEAKER_05: That's it, man.
41:06
SPEAKER_05: You're awake while he's doing it?
41:09
SPEAKER_00: The cleaning late, so you'd be in this little TV room.
41:15
SPEAKER_00: The cleaning lady.
41:17
SPEAKER_02: You remember her name?
41:19
SPEAKER_00: I want to say Irene, but I'm not sure.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: Irene.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: She was really old.
41:25
SPEAKER_00: Um, but and I could never get, I wasn't that concerned.
41:30
SPEAKER_00: I was like a positive person.
41:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm sure this is gonna be great.
41:32
SPEAKER_00: But I brought my girlfriend with me and she was freaking out.
41:34
SPEAKER_00: She was like, Are you a nurse?
41:36
SPEAKER_00: She would ask her, Are you a registered nurse?
41:38
SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Oh, honey, I could do anything by this time.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, well, are you the nurse?
41:43
SPEAKER_00: Or I could do the operations myself if I had to.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: So she would just give these answers.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, why am I even caring about that?
41:53
SPEAKER_00: It's just that I never can worried about it.
41:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, the exam rooms are in the kitchen.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're in the kitchen getting marked up for surgery.
42:03
SPEAKER_00: So then you're sitting on this little TV room watching TV and with some other people.
42:07
SPEAKER_00: There's also a refrigerator in there and a microwave.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: That's what you're gonna microwave your stuff you brought from the store for later.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: And then the cleaning lady comes by and gives you some pills that you take, and then you don't remember anything until the next day.
42:21
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
42:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
42:23
SPEAKER_00: And you wake up and and you're bandaged up, you know something happened.
42:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then you heal and you're ready to go.
42:29
SPEAKER_02: That is wild.
42:31
SPEAKER_02: Wow, and you did it, and I did it.
42:34
SPEAKER_00: Wow, and a lot of girls, a lot of great-looking boob jobs did it, and then that one and and other people too.
42:42
SPEAKER_00: There was an old lady there that was getting her hand operated on.
42:44
SPEAKER_00: He did all sorts of folks.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: Anybody can stop it.
42:49
SPEAKER_00: Um, Aiden, I want to end this by asking you something.
42:52
SPEAKER_00: Is there some advice that you could give to someone who's going through tough times, whether it's drugs, alcohol, depression, or whatever?
43:00
SPEAKER_00: What would you say that you've learned that you could offer?
43:04
SPEAKER_02: Um, what would I learn?
43:06
SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm not sure.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: It's like, where does drinking and using get you?
43:12
SPEAKER_02: You know, and then where does like being sober get you?
43:15
SPEAKER_02: It's like look at everybody who's sober and recovered from addiction, look at how their lives are going.
43:21
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, don't want to just be keep drinking, you know.
43:25
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
43:26
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
43:27
SPEAKER_00: That's a great, that's like very scientific, like statistically, yeah.
43:31
SPEAKER_00: This group compared to this group, right?
43:33
SPEAKER_00: Right.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:35
SPEAKER_00: Uh that's a really good point.
43:37
SPEAKER_00: And here's another here's something I want to add on to that, and then we we have to end sadly fucking awesome talking.
43:43
SPEAKER_00: Isn't he great?
43:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I had so much fun doing it.
43:46
SPEAKER_00: Oh, a lot of respect for this guy.
43:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you gotta see him, you gotta follow him on Instagram.
43:52
SPEAKER_00: What is your Instagram handle?
43:53
SPEAKER_02: It's Aiden Block, block spell B L O C H.
43:57
SPEAKER_00: There you go, and all your shows and stuff are listed there.
43:59
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Good.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, I just want to add on is that because somebody else can smoke pot and do their life, just because somebody else can do heroin and they they haven't gotten uh fucked up yet, doesn't mean you can't.
44:19
SPEAKER_00: Like there are Michael Jordans out there, and then there's you.
44:22
SPEAKER_00: You know, most people can't do that.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: And so if you're saying, yeah, but this person and this person it works for, if it's not working for you, if you're like, oh, I don't feel so good, if you're making excuses to yourself of like maybe I won't do it a few days this month, or maybe I'll just do it if you're trying to regulate it like that, already know that you have an addiction and try to get help.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: AA and NA are great places.
44:47
SPEAKER_00: There's so many places that can help you, but sobriety rocks, be funny.
44:52
SPEAKER_00: This is damaged goods.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being with us, and thank you, Aiden.
44:56
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
44:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, damage goods.