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SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST_BONUS EPISODE _78_ HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND · DA CREW Podcast

0:11
Hey, hoyn, Welcome to another episode of the Proof Podcast. I am
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your visionary Queen Angela and if you are a diva that's looking to amplify your
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voice and you're looking for a whole, we have faith for you. Come
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on over and join GM Diva Up yeahwey and amplify your voice. A nursing
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nursing me, All things and what things do su? Where has you all?
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The blue Sky's foot boys and Blue from the North through something Well,
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nursing Mercy, all things and what they used. Aspiring Author's Magazine is a
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in the most meaningful and impactful ways. We look forward to putting you on
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the path to writing your book, Basic Black After Dawn The Durlu podcast show
2:10
with your host Black Diamond. Everybody, this is Black Diamond with the Crew
3:40
podcast and you're listening to Basic Black at the Dark podcast, the show that
3:45
meets you where you are and gives you what you ask for. Well,
3:49
tonight I had a guest and I think the subject may have been a little
3:53
bit too close to home for her. So I do understand if she wasn't
3:59
able to show up tonight, But I'm gonna go on with it anyway because
4:03
it's something that needs to be talked about, something that's been in the news.
4:08
Excuse me, I'm sorry, I have a cold, but it's something
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that's been in the news more recently than before, and I'm talking about domestic
4:17
violence. We've been reading about certain people in the news, We've been following
4:24
certain stories, but domestic violence goes back way beyond what we've been reading about.
4:31
And what we've been seeing is just that these women are now have been
4:36
their voice, They found their voice, and they're able to speak. You
4:41
know that sometimes they are in these relationships where their partner apologizes and says the
4:46
hurtful behavior that they have won't happen again. But you fear that it will.
4:50
And I understand that because you've been with this person and you feel as
4:54
though you can trust them. But at times you wonder whether you're imagining the
4:58
abuse yet their emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If it sounds
5:03
familiar, you might be experience domestic violence. So those are some of the
5:09
things that could be happening, and you're just not sure in some of the
5:13
ways that we recognize. Domestic violence. Also called intimate partner violence, it
5:17
occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can take many forms,
5:24
including emotional, sexual, and physical abuse and threats of abuse. Abuse by
5:30
a partner can happen to anyone, but domestic violence is most often directed towards
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women. Now when I say anyone, I'm talking about men as well.
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It's just that they don't usually speak about it as much. Sometimes they figure
5:46
that people laugh at them, saying that he's excuse me for saying that he's
5:50
a punk. They won't report it to the police because some of them believe
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that the police will laugh at them and won't take them serious or even make
5:58
the report. But then some of them will come out just to see what's
6:02
going on but won't take it serious. Domestic balance can happen in headosexual and
6:09
same sex relationships. Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control.
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I'm gonna say that again. Abusive relationship always involve an imbalance of power and
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control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviors to control a partner.
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Hurtful words such as you're stupid, you're dumb, you're ugly, you're
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fat. They may call them a few choice mental words, saying you're retard
6:41
it, you're dyslexic, you must have ADHD. These are some of the
6:47
hurtful words, and White Jude is probably a whole book full of words.
6:50
As they call you. It might not be easy to identify domestic balance at
6:55
first, but while some relationships are clearly abusive from the outside, in the
7:00
outset, abuse often starts something and it gets worse over time. You might
7:06
be experienced domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who, as I
7:11
mentioned, call you names, insulcial, or even puts you down. She
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don't know how to do that, She's not capable of doing that. Watch
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how stupid she is. Those are some of the things that they say they
7:23
prevent or discourage you from going to work or to school, or seeing family
7:27
members or friends. You may have a coworker that comes to work faithfully all
7:30
the time, always on time, does good work, and all of a
7:33
sudden, they're not coming to work as much. Their work is not up
7:39
to the level that it used to be. Or you may have a friend
7:42
that's in school with you. They're not coming every day, but they was
7:46
an in student, and then when you do see them, they shy away
7:49
from you, they won't eat with you, or they'll be what you may
7:54
think mean. But they could be an abusive relationship. Sometimes they could be
8:00
a family member or a friend, and then they distanced themselves in you,
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And that's mostly because the abuser is making them distance themselves, not letting you
8:11
take the calls, cutting your calls short from family members, your family have
8:16
events, you can't go to them, or if you do show up,
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you gotta leave early, or one of those things. I think we was
8:24
watching a Tyler Perry movie where the gentleman was squeezing her underneath the table,
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or when he danced with her, how he was pulling her clothes and saying
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mean things to her about wait till he gets on home. Those are some
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of the things they try to control you on, how you spend your money.
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Sometimes they take your money. They won't let you go to places,
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maybe on outings, even to the grocery store. You may need food in
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the house, but they'll tell you no, I'll go get it, and
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they'll take your money. What medicines you may take, say you suffer from
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migraines, or you need medicine for insulin, or maybe your asthma pump.
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They'll take the throat across the room. They'll break your needles in half or
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withhold it from you. Sometimes they control what you wear. May make you
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wear something very short and tight, or may tell you take that lipstick off,
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take your hair down from it. You don't need that jewelry on.
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Something that makes you look and feel good for the moment, they won't let
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you wear that. They have acts of jealousy. That's why you're looking at
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him. Could be a friend that you haven't seen it in a while.
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They may embrace you he or she will get very upset with that embracement.
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They come be possessive, or they constantly accuse you of being unfaithful. I
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know you was cheating on me. I know you've been sleeping with him.
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You came home late, you had to be with him. Those are some
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of the things that they say. They get angry when they're drinking alcohol and
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using drugs. That anger can escalate. When I say it escalates, it
10:00
can escalate into violence to where they're putting their hands on you. You got
10:05
bruises unexplained to family, or I fell down, or I tripped over this.
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Oh, I picked the baby up when the baby turned around accidentally and
10:15
bumped me in the mouth. So that was the cause of your missing tooth.
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And that's what your family should be believing. No, don't get me
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wrong, I am not accusing you of anything. I'm just saying those are
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some of the things that people say. Sometimes they threaten you with violence of
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a weapon. Could be a knife, could be a gun, could be
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a stick, could be a bat, could be whatever they feel as though
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they can use to frighten you. They hit, they kick, they shove,
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they slap, they choke you. You can be wearing a scarf and
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they'll pull it and they'll choke you. They'll pull you by the hair.
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They find other ways to hurt you, and other ways that they do is
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some of the most despicable ways I've ever seen or heard, and that's by
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trying to hurt you with your children. They'll snap your child and they could
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be their child too. They'll threaten the child, they'll push the child down.
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They'll take your cat and kick it across the floor. They'll kick your
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dog in the stomach. Those are some of the things that they do.
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They force you to have sex or engage in sexual acts that's against your willth
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that's called rape. Sometimes they make you have sex with their friends and they
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watch and they tape it. And when they do that, they sell it
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because that's their way of making money. And then you'll eventually see that they
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won't have sex with you anymore because you've been having sex with their friends and
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they're making money off of you. They blame you for their violence. You
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bade me do it. It was your fault. You deserve that. Those
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are all the things that sometimes you'll hear from people who I consider to be
12:05
a little bit unstable. If you're in a same sex relationship, or if
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you're bisexual or transgender, you might also be experienced abuse. If you're in
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a relationship with someone who threatens to tell your friends, your family, your
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colleagues, or your community. Say, you didn't come out, but you
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told a friend, or your friend had an idea and said, are you
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bisexual? Are you transgender? Maybe you are transgender and you only show that
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when you are around your friends, or you go to certain places where there's
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other people who are transgender or bisexual. So they figure that they can either
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blackmail you or get even with you. For some strange reason, they'll do
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that. So they threaten to tell I'm gonna tell your father. He's a
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member of the church, right as a matter of fact, your father is
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the pastor how is he gonna figure on having a son who is transgender and
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he's the Pastor wait until we go to church and Sat Day. Or even
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if you may not have come out to your coworkers, they threaten to tell
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your coworkers. Or there could be a community event, say there's some big
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fare that's going on in your community. They get up there and they get
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that big microphone and they start talking about your business. They talk about your
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sexual orientation or your gender identity. Tells you that authorities won't help you.
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You can call the police all you want, because your sexuality or a gender
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identity is not gonna mean anything because they're not gonna give They will tell you
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that. But the authorities do care, especially if you're being abused. They
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target you, They target everybody. They justify abuse by questioning your sexuality or
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agender identity. They'll do something like pull your dress up to see what somebody
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is, pull your shirt down, or something even worse. They'll say,
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I'll get you straight. I can do that, I can really let you
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know what a man really feels like. Some of them even go after men
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and they abuse them in the worst kind of way. That's all abuse,
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sexual abuse, domestic violence, intimate partner violence. I call it also intimidation
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violence. What about those who are pregnant, They get the worst kind of
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abuse. Slapped around, kicked, punched, send you to the hospital.
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You have bruises all over your belly. Maybe they didn't want the baby you
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found out that you were pregnant. They start kicking you so you can have
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a miscarbage or either they welcome you to have the baby. Then after a
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few months they say, we can't afford another mouth to feed, so they
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start beating you so you can have a miscarriage and getting the children the family
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members. That's domestic violence. Sometimes domestic violence begins or increases during pregnancy.
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Domestic violence put your health in the baby's health at rest. The danger continues
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even after the baby is born, and sometimes it gets worse. Like I
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said, they'll hold that baby against you. Unfortunately, I'm gonna tell you
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the truth. They'll hold the baby's formula against you so you won't feed the
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baby. They can shake that baby, throw that baby. Babies crying too
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much, so they'll slap you around and tell you to get that baby quiet.
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And if you don't get that baby quiet, I'll go in there and
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quiet them. Even if your child isn't abused, simply witnessing domestic violence can
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be harmful. Children who grow up in abusive homes are more likely to be
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abused and have behavioral problems than those other children. As adults, they're more
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likely to become abuses or think abuses normal. And it's a part of a
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relationship. So the saying that people hurt people hurt people. I'm not gonna
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sit here and say that that happens in all cases, but I've seen and
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I've heard that some hurt people hurt people, and that has to begin in
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someplace, and unfortunately, sometimes it begins in childhood. You might worry that
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telling the truth will further endanger you, your child, or other family members,
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so you won't say anything, and that might break up your family because
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you may have come from that type of family, a broken family. Broken
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family meaning that there was domestic violence in your family, or substance users in
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your family, or incarservation, or maybe you were enforced to care and you
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are now with someone you think is the world who will think you think that
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you're going to be able to be taken care of by this person. So
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you don't want to break up your family because that's something you always dreamt about
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with your children. That's still a family, and without you, there is
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no family because he's in jail and you're someplace that you can't come back from.
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But teaking help is the best way to protect yourself and your loved ones.
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Try to break the cycle. If you're in an abusive situation, you
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might recognize this pattern. Your abuser threatens violence, your abuser strikes, Your
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abuser apologizes, promises to change and orfer you gifts. They come in there
17:36
with jewelry, with flowers, maybe with another pet, another cat or something.
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Yes, Trevida, childhood trauma is real. Thank you for joining us.
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The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the greater the physical and
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emotional toll. In the beginning, it may just start shoving you, giving
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you one of those elbow moves, or kicking you. Sometimes other people see
18:03
it. You might become depressed and anxious, or you might be beginning to
18:08
doubt your ability to take care of yourself or to take care of your children.
18:14
You might feel helpless or paralyzed that there's nothing you can do. You
18:18
may also wonder if the abuse is your fault. I'm going to tell you
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right now it's not. It is not your fault. A common point of
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confusion among survivors of domestic abuse. That may make it more difficult to seek
18:32
help. That's the number one thing, that you believe that it's your fault.
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Don't take the blame. Don't ever take the blame. You may not
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be ready to seek help because you believe you're at least partially to blame for
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the abuse in the relationship. And here's some reasons that may include that that
18:48
your partner blames you. Sometimes his friends may blame you, young man.
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Look at your girl. What you doing? I saw her talking to this
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person. You need to check her. She's making you look stupid. They
19:03
blame you for the violence in the relationship. Abusive partners really take responsibility for
19:08
their actions. They apologize. Yes, her people do hurt people time to
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hear, and it does take a lot of time. Thank you so much
19:18
for that. Your partner only exhibits abusive behavior with you. Now, he'll
19:26
punch you right in the face. Bet you won't walk up to another man
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and puts you right in the face for no reason. Now, they may
19:33
get into a fight, maybe a bar fight or something, but he's not
19:37
gonna beat that man the way that he beat you. Abuses are often concerned
19:42
with outward appearances and may appear charming and stable to those outside of your relationship.
19:48
Oh, I didn't think that he would do something like that. No,
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not Johnny, no shame. But anybody that's named Johnny. No,
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I've been knowing him since we was kids. That's my boy. He would
19:59
never do always been so respectful to me. Along those lines. Those are
20:03
some of the things that they say. What did you do. What did
20:07
you say, Well, you know, just if you tried a little harder.
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Sometimes you get there from some people that you may think of your friends.
20:15
This may cause you to believe that his or her actions can only be
20:18
explained by something you've done. Once again, you didn't do anything. Therapists
20:26
and healthcare providers will see you alone or with your partner haven't detected a problem
20:33
because you keep making excuses. I fell down. Oh you know, I
20:38
told you about that paint job that I was going to do, and I
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slipped off the ladder and I, you know, I broke my ankle.
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You're not telling him that he took a bat and busted you in the ankle.
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You're not telling him that, Oh you know, I was walking and
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I had, you know, this thing in my hand, and I was
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walking and I went to turn and I came back this way and hit me
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in the face. And that's why I got this black. If you haven't
21:02
told your health care provider about the abuse, they may only take note of
21:07
unhealthy patterns in your thinking or behavior, so they don't In other words,
21:11
they won't recognize that you're being abused. They may start to evaluate you for
21:18
something that's not there, but that could be there later on. That's mental
21:22
health and depression. Things can lead to a misdiagnosis. For example, survivors
21:30
of intimate partner violence may develop symptoms that resemble chronic disorders, such as irritable
21:36
vowel syndrome or fibrobiolgen Exposure to intimate partner violence also increases your risk of mental
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health conditions like I mentioned, such as depression anxiety PTSD, which is post
21:51
traumatic stress disorder. These are some of the things that your psychiatrists or therapists
21:56
may say the time it says you can't. Abuse can also be verbal and
22:03
emotional. Yes, it can be verbal and emotional, and sometimes that hurts
22:07
a little bit more it does. You may have a black guy and that
22:11
black eye may go away, but that verbal and emotional is still left up
22:15
there. Thank you for that, Latanya. If you're having trouble identifying what's
22:23
happening, take a step back. You have acted out verbally or physically against
22:30
your abusing yelling, pushing, or hitting your partner during the conflicts. You
22:33
may have to worry that you are abusive, but it's much more likely that
22:38
you've acted in self defense on tense emotional stress. One of the things that
22:45
I noticed, and I see this more so I won't say just teenagers.
22:52
I would say with a lot of people under twenty five, young ladies,
22:57
they talk to their men or boyfriend or their babe, whatever they call them
23:03
nowadays. They pushed them upside the head, They shoved them, they do
23:07
one of those things that play tap. That play tap can turn into something
23:12
ugly because sometimes you can push your man and when you push his head,
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he's not feeling at that moment. Or you may push him away they gave
23:21
him a headache, or you may play tap him and you know, some
23:23
of you women have nails and you may scratch himsel that's the beginning of it
23:30
because you are the abuser at that time. But when you get told and
23:33
you see that scratch on his neck, he may turn around and slap you
23:37
without thinking, and then he sees that you're not gonna be acting, You're
23:42
not gonna hit him back. So that's telling him that man, I can
23:45
push your head or do whatever. She ain't gonna do nothing back. I'm
23:52
describing to you that that's proof that you are an abusive partner. If those
23:56
are the things that you're doing so. If you're having trouble identifying what's happening,
24:02
take a step back and look at a larger pattern in your relationship.
24:06
Then start to review some of the signs of domestic violence and an abusive relationship.
24:11
The person who routinely uses these behaviors is the abuser. Like I said
24:15
early on, women, you can be abuses too. The person on the
24:21
receiving side ends is being abused. Create a safety plan for yourself. Leaving
24:30
an abusive relationship can be dangerous. Consider taking precautions if you try to leave.
24:37
I guarantee you they're gonna try to stop. For the best way,
24:41
they can call a woman's shelter or a domestic violence hotline for advice. Find
24:45
out what could you do. Try to make that phone call when you're in
24:49
a safe place at a safe time, but go through your phone and just
24:53
get rid of that number, because when they come home, they gonna check
24:57
to see who you've been talking to for the day. I've been trying to
25:00
call you at this time. Click over, because if you don't answer,
25:06
that's gonna be a excuse for him to abuse you again. So when the
25:11
music isn't around, pack up whatever you can Sometimes you may not even need
25:15
to pack up. Just get out of there. Contact a friend, go
25:18
to a friend's house or some other safe location. Go to the police,
25:22
go to the hospital. You can pack that emergency bag, but if they
25:27
find it, they're gonna go through it and they're gonna say, well,
25:29
what's this you're trying to leave me? Take that bag, Tuck it away
25:33
outside, underneath something, behind, something somewhere. More than likely your abuse
25:41
is not the one to take the trash yard, so put it in.
25:42
You always keep that garbage can line. Put it underneath that garbage bag to
25:49
this way, and you get that chance you can get out. You'll need
25:53
some of those items to leave, such as extra clothes and keys keys to
25:59
the car. He may say I'm taking the keys to the cars and you
26:02
won't leave. Always have a spare mentioned before. Leave the bag in a
26:08
safe place. Yes to yourself. Protect yourself of all times. Thanks for
26:17
trees. Always protect yourself. Keep important personal papers, money, and prescription
26:23
medications handy so that you can take them when you're on short notice. They
26:29
like to withhold that from you. Personal papers, your birth certificate, social
26:33
security cards. Try to get two of them. Most of the time.
26:37
The state will give you an extra money for free. I hate to say
26:42
lie to them. I'll just say for those who will be an abused,
26:45
I believe they'll understand if you call and say you need your Social Security card.
26:51
Because he's keeping all your personal things. Sometimes you may need that stuff
26:55
to get out of the state that extra money. Put it someplace, and
27:00
the shoe is not the place. In the jar is not the place in
27:03
the refrigerator is not the place, and the freezer is not the place.
27:10
Find some place that you know he doesn't going. Putting it in the bathroom
27:14
underneath the toilet that doesn't work. Find another place in the corner where in
27:19
the corner. Try to get a loose board, not the board that he
27:25
can step on, but the board in the wall. Try to put it
27:29
in there. Put it in something dark, something black, because if there's
27:33
a hole in there, some way, there's a light that may shine through.
27:37
And he happened to be sitting there by it up, leaning back,
27:41
and he'll look and he just happened to see that light shining through, and
27:42
he knows that something is over there because that light wasn't there before. Because
27:47
he's been sitting in that chair for years. Put it in something dark.
27:51
Put it in there. Know exactly where you'll go and how you'll get there.
27:57
Going on a highway, hit try making and stuff you could be leaving
28:02
out of one dangerous in the situation into another. We're gonna take a commercial
28:07
break, and when I come back, I'm going to talk to you about
28:11
how to protect your communication and location act. Yeah, thanks to turn off
28:38
the lights. God, I can tonight. I'm not. I'm imagine.
28:56
Yes, take a shower, shout it together. I was abandoned. You
29:07
was the mad, so wealthy and save ja turn off? Come to you.
29:37
Don't want to give you a special tweet. It's so sweet. Turn
29:42
on. Right as I was taking this break, I see that Latania says,
30:04
also have a secret account that only you know about. Yeah, that
30:08
is one of the things that you should do. Have a secret account that
30:11
only you know about. You know, as women know how to stash that
30:15
extra money. Put it in another account. Try go into a different bank,
30:21
because that's probably the best thing to do. Because you keep it in
30:22
the same bank, they have access to it. Or somebody may say,
30:26
oh, your wife was in here yesterday or your girlfriend was in here yesterday,
30:29
So that some people don't know that you're being abused, so they'll tip
30:32
them off. But ways that you can protect your communication and location. An
30:36
abuser can use technology to monitor your telephone and online communication to track your location.
30:42
If you're concerned for your safety, seek help to maintain your privacy.
30:48
Use your phone cautiously. Your user might intercept calls and listen to your conversations.
30:55
They may your partner might just use caller ID, check your cell phone
30:59
or search your phone bill. They can check your phone bill when it comes.
31:03
Try to do paperless this way, that's not coming this way. You're
31:08
painted online and we're gonna talk about online. They can check you, check
31:12
you while you're texting. They can look at your texting history. Use your
31:18
home computer in a courtious way. Your abuser might use spyware to monitor your
31:26
emails and the website you visit, instead of using a computer at work at
31:30
the library, but not in the library in your community. Because again,
31:36
so you're girl at the library yesterday and you really told me you was home
31:38
all day. Or maybe you can go to a friend's house to seek out,
31:45
but turn off your GPS devices. Your abuser might use a GPS device
31:52
on your vehicle on your phone to pinpoint your location. I'm just learning how
31:57
to do all of that with the GPS, and that just want my kids
32:01
and their mindners, so I'll use the GPS. But once they turn eighteen,
32:06
boop. But then at times it's still good to have because God forbid
32:10
of one of my children is in an abusive relationship. I don't evenna tell
32:15
you what would happen. But I don't slow cools money in the commissary.
32:23
That's just a mother talking. That's just me. Those are my babies.
32:28
I bought them in God's gonna take them out. Frequently. Change your email
32:34
password. Change the password, but try to remember it because when you're not
32:38
there all around you're sleeping the night, they're going on there. They're looking
32:43
to see who you've been talking to. Choose passwords that would be difficult for
32:46
your abusing against them. But if they're really really abusing you, they're gonna
32:51
make you give up your password. Try to have another email account. Just
33:00
put simple little things on that, you know, maybe shopping stuff, food
33:06
tips on certain cooking things. But also have another account. Clear your viewing
33:10
history all the time. Follow your browsers. Instructures to cook, any record
33:15
of your website or graphics that you view, because they'll look at that,
33:20
they look at all of that. I commend any woman and her willingness or
33:31
any man to talk about your experiences. I can only imagine how difficult that
33:37
experience could be for them. If you are a survivor, Please continue to
33:43
take care of yourself. Spend time with your support system, such as your
33:49
loved ones. Pets can be a part of your support system. Take the
33:53
time for things you enjoy, such as photography, watching a funny movie,
34:00
running, or tuning into Basic Black After Dog. You may hear other stories
34:06
that can help you. Here. There's places where you can find help.
34:10
In an emergency called nine one one or your local emergency number or law enforcement
34:15
agency. Contact someone you trust. Turn to a friend. Make sure it's
34:22
your friend and not the both of your friends, because your partner could be
34:28
intimidating to that friend as well to a loved one. Now they say sometimes
34:34
you can speak to your neighbor, but your neighbor could be an abusive relationship,
34:38
or may not believe it and think that Harry is a great guy.
34:42
They wouldn't believe it, or they may go to him and say, yo,
34:45
have you Is everything all right over there? You know your wife came
34:47
to me and talking to me earlier. You know, I just want to
34:50
make sure everything is okay. Speak to your coworker, Speak to your supervisor,
34:59
Speak to your religion or spiritual advisor for support. Speak to someone.
35:05
There's a National domestic violence hotline for you. The call that's one eight hundred
35:12
seven ninety nine Safe, one eight hundred seven ninety nine Safe. Please make
35:22
that phone call one eight hundred seven ninety nine seven two three three. I'm
35:30
hoping that each and every one of you out there who are in a situation
35:36
seek help. Get out as fast as you can, Try to be as
35:42
safe as you can. If you have children, go to the school,
35:49
pick them up, call the police, get him out of there. Don't
35:52
stay at the school, because if he is off the hinge in any way
35:57
and he feels as though you're going to that school to pick him those,
36:00
he may have a weapon. If he's coming into that school looking for you,
36:02
there's other children in that school, there's other people in the school.
36:07
He may snap. Get your children from out of the as quick as you
36:13
can. Go to the nearest police department. Let him know what's happening again.
36:21
I'm hoping that you all stay saved. Join us tomorrow May thirty,
36:27
first, as we take you on a journey with poet and author Siah Behaved
36:32
after eight after dog, Thanks everybody for tuning in. I do appreciate it.
36:39
See you tomorrow after eight after dog. Take a coat, cut a
36:52
hole in the pocket, and place money in it. Thanks Patresea. Yeah,
36:55
take a coat, cut a hole in the pocket, and place money
36:58
in it. I'll sit for a few minut If anybody else want to log
37:01
in to some questions, go to the local library and use the computer.
37:06
I think the local library is good. But you don't want him to know
37:09
that you've been there. You may have told him to use in the house
37:15
all day. Make a secondary email not connected to your phone. That's right,
37:21
secondary email not connected to your phone. Only use the secondary email in
37:27
public places to have computers, not your home computer, tablet, laptop,
37:30
or phone. You may even want to ask a neighbor because you use their
37:34
phone. Thanks Patrisa love it. You may ask a neighbor, can I
37:37
use your phone? I'm not getting good service with my phone. Make that
37:44
phone call even if you have to call a police stream there. They'll come
37:45
right away. Let them know, but have what you need. Don't go
37:52
back for anything that's just your kid. Sometimes, if he's there and he's
37:59
holding onto those kids and you're already out, I don't want to be a
38:02
person to tell you to leave your children, but I can't tell you to
38:06
go back for them either. But call the police, because he's gonna be
38:12
waiting for you to come back one way or the other. Call the police
38:15
and let them handle it. Your local department, call them. As far
38:20
as for you, gentlemen, there's no shame in you contacting the police to
38:25
let them know that you have been abused by your girlfriend, by your wife,
38:31
by even by another now same sex. Get in contact with them and
38:37
let them know that you've been abused, because there's nothing funny about it.
38:43
They may have their kicks, but I think the police are a little bit
38:46
more professional than what some people may give them credit for. You came in
38:51
and you made the report. Don't leave, don't go back to the house.
38:57
If they're gonna make the report, they go out, let them go
39:00
out. You wait there in that precint until they come back. The worst
39:06
thing is if they come back with the abuser, and the police should be
39:08
trained enough to let them know, no, you're not still at the station,
39:14
even though they may want to go down there, just to make sure,
39:16
they should say, well, what would be your reason for going down
39:19
there? Oh, my wife is missing. We can make that report right
39:22
here and I'll give you a missing person's report, but you normally have to
39:27
wait I think twenty four hours in most states to just think about spoke about
39:36
tonight. Children's say thank you again for tuning in, and don't forget to
39:50
be here. Tomorrow. We're gonna be talking to Siab Hayes and she's gonna
39:52
be taking this on the journey, journey that you will not believe. Good
39:58
Night, everybody. Thank you to be Site Black after dark.