Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 5 – Taking the Road Less Traveled

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Ep. 5 – Taking the Road Less Traveled · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Rise Up.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Live Joy Your Way with Comedy Wood.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to step into your power.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited you're here today because I have a special guest.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: As you may know and remember, I am the mother of five.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: My oldest is 18 years old, and she has agreed to come on the show today.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: She is 18 years old.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: She uh is getting ready to collect her diploma in June, whether it be by mail or walking across the stage, we're really not sure yet.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Depends what happens with this lovely pandemic that we're facing.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: But nevertheless, she's getting ready to go off into the world.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: She is an aspiring ballerina.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: She is hoping to find a company to dance with.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I just wanted to bring her on the show and just talk about some of what she's been facing in her quest to become a ballerina.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: So without any further delay, I would like to introduce my daughter, Reinu.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: Hi.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for coming on the show, Reinu.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: What I wanted to actually start off with is if you could just tell us a little bit about what is behind your desire to dance for a company as a ballerina.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've always I've been dancing since I was two.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, a lot of people ask me who inspired you to dance?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, well, no one really inspired me to dance.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: I just I started dancing.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I fell in love with the movement and the music, and that's what's kept me going, and that's what's kept me on this path and kept pushing me.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And um I have been wanting to be a professional ballerino, you know, like I s I see photos, I see videos of so many different dancers, and I want to do that also.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be in that community, I want to be that person, I want to be a dancer.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: So one of the things that I've, you know, faced is uh I grew up in a very traditional way of living, right?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: So everybody went, you know, you went to elementary school, you went to middle school, high school, and then you tried to get into the best college that you could get into in order to go uh in order to graduate and then go and get the best paying job that you could get.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so one of the things that I've faced as a parent, especially with my older child, my oldest child, saying, Well, I'm not really wanting to follow that path.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Can you tell us a little bit and tell the listeners a little bit about what your experience has been in terms of not following the same linear path that most of your peers and other people your age are following?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, it's been kind of challenging because there have been members of my family who have not they've looked down upon it.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um sometimes they question me, they're like, Oh, well, why are you not going to college right away?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you not going to college right out of high school?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's what they all did.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Why isn't it normal?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I not doing it?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it's kind of hard because they don't understand why, you know, I'm not going that safe route, why I'm not playing it safe.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: They don't understand it.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's because I have a lot of passion for ballet.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: I have a lot of passion for dancing.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um and unfortunately, you know, the older you get, the the less agile you become and it it makes more sense for a company to hire you when you are younger and you are able to execute movements extremely fast.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: You are able to be on your toes all the time.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: You have the ability and the strength, because you are so young, to uh dance these full-length three-hour ballets, you know, you're not gonna do that when you're 50 years old.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um so you know, they just kind of don't understand, and it's kind of hard because I genuinely I have support, but sometimes I don't know if I do my second guess myself.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so I I mean, I have I get to be front front row seat while we're going through this together, but our listeners probably don't necessarily understand it.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so can you explain a little bit about the audition process and how there are similarities to even applying to college, but even more so how um I personally think it's more demanding.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: So can you just share with everybody a little bit about that?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's definitely like applying to college, but you don't get the leeway that colleges give you because I also applied to colleges, and yes, I received many performing arts scholarships.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um but you are applying for a job, you're going straight out of high school, you're building a resume, you're making it look professional, you're writing a cover letter, you're doing all the things that you would do, you know, your fourth year of college, and I'm doing it now.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: So um with the audition process, you have to video yourself doing a doing classwork, you have to video yourself with solos, um, showing classical ballet, but also showing contemporary ballet movement, so that you know you can show them that you are a versatile versatile dancer and more hireable.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um and also partnering work is a really big plus.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I had a this one video that I had, it just had two of my solos and one video of classwork, and then I decided, you know, I was I was getting so many rejections to not even come audition for their company, and so I decided, you know what, I'm just gonna put everything in there.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I put all of my partnering work, all of my solos, everything in my video.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: It was 20 minutes long, but I started getting people telling me to come audition.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: So when you send all this stuff out, you have photos, you have your video, you have your resume, you have your cover letter.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: When you send it all out, um the companies then they decide whether or not they want you to come audition for their company.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes their no's are as simple as you're too short for a company.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: But other times it's just like, oh, you're not strong enough for my company.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um sometimes you don't even get answers back from these companies.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: But then other times they say, Yes, please come audition.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Now these auditions they take place in many different ways.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: There's the first way, which is my favorite way, which is like a personal invitation to a company class.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: So you're able to go to the studios, you're able to take class with the company and audition at the same time, meet the director in person, talk to the director afterwards.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's very personable, and I like that method the best.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: But again, the companies don't really offer that too many people, only when they really see something in somebody.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um another way is just saying, Oh yes, you like you have to submit these um materials to them, um, and then you go to these auditions only if they accept you to the audition.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes you have to go, you have to submit your stuff just to get accepted to an audition of about 50 people.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then there's another way, which is just going to an open audition just for the heck of it.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but they cut a lot of people from that audition.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: They tell you to leave.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: And there was one audition I actually well I've had many of these types of auditions throughout my audition tour.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I did one audition where they did cut me.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: I had many other auditions that, you know, they just they took my materials and they were like, okay, you'll hear from us in two weeks regard like if you get into the company, if you don't, what we're gonna offer you.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then I've also had company class auditions.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's interesting because you're describing this process where it's like you you're sending out a resume, and then you're essentially getting called in for an interview, and then after you go in for the interview, and it's it's sort of like, okay, well, we'll let you know.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: And then you don't really you you're kind of waiting.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: You're waiting for the callback of yes, we have an offer for you, or no, we don't have an offer for you.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: So it really is the equivalent of what many do in their fourth year of college.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: Now, of course, you know, we're dealing with this pandemic.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: So, how has that affected your auditioning?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I had more auditions lined up for starters, and obviously they've they got canceled.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, some of them were like, oh yeah, we'll postpone, but obviously that postponement has been postponed until next season, so I don't think I'm auditioning for those companies now, which is hard because I want as many options as I can have, as I can get my hands on, and some doors totally just closed on me, and I don't like that.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um another way that it's kind of been stressful is because these companies they've given me verbal offers.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: They haven't given me written offers yet.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they haven't given me a written contract yet, because they told me that their contracts don't come until April, March, May, um, around this time now.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, because of this pandemic, they have had to lay off their dancers, a lot of these companies.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they don't know if their dancers are gonna come back or how many contracts they will have, or how many spots they will have.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: So it's um kind of unknown right now.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like nobody knows what's going on.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: So obviously, I don't know what's going on either.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so, what how are you managing that stress?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, honestly, I want to ask the other question too, which I I I am figuring many people are thinking about, because you know, especially with our young adults these days, I mean, self-esteem and self-confidence are huge factors.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that a lot of other seniors, as they are sending out their applications to colleges, and if they were to get a rejection letter, that's a big blow to their self-confidence and their self-esteem.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I can only imagine that if you're sending out these audition tapes to all of these um audition videos, not tapes, but audition videos to all of these companies, and like sometimes you either get a no or you get you nothing, it's like crickets, or if you go to these auditions and you don't really hear back from them.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: How have you been managing that in terms of your own um your own confidence and like your own mindset?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: How have you been managing that?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: I actually last year, my junior year of high school, I also was doing auditions just because I felt like it was a good rough draft year.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like I needed to do it just to have gone through the process once so I knew what I'm doing this year.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so last year I like well after my audition tour, well after I went to auditions, um, this is like in June when I had this realization that you go to these auditions and your mindset, well my mindset that works for me is I'm auditioning these places too.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: They're not just auditioning me, I'm auditioning them, and it just kind of gives me more confidence as I go in there.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I know I'm meant to do this, and I feel like if they can see that, if they can see I love dancing in this one and a half hour class, and they can hire me from this one class, um, and you know, I I feel like I can fit in there, like that would be a good company for me.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, so it's basically that you went through the process last year and sort of built that muscle, that muscle of recognizing your self-worth and the fact that you are in charge of where you end up.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to just go somewhere because they say you're a good fit, but you get to also say, I think, you know, you're a good fit for me, right?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like it's coming from a place of more empowerment.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: So just, you know, I'm just curious, and you know, from a parent perspective, I can share that, you know, again, you you choosing to go on a nonlinear path.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it wasn't I never really had those moments of panic or anything like that.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: I was just kind of I was very supportive and just like, okay, well, if this is what she wants, that's great.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: But from a parent perspective, you know, I can say that like I'll get on social media and I'm seeing all these parents posting their child getting into XYZ college, and they'll you know, post a picture of either the acceptance letter or you know, an a picture of the college or the you know, just the logo of the college.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm just curious for for from your perspective as an 18-year-old and seeing some of your friends posting these things, how has that been for you and how have you maybe managed um not getting sucked into that sort of comparison mode?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I I think it's hard to not compare yourself to people.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's also in my nature because I am a ballet dancer.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I actually went to a normal high school my freshman year of high school.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I have a lot of friends there that I'm still connected on social media with and I still follow on Snapchat.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: I still, you know, see their stories all the time on Instagram.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: And they have been posting non-stop, especially around this time when they are committing to what college they're gonna go to.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they've been posting about it.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, all the time on social media it's like non-stop.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't ever get a break of seeing their you know what they're doing next year.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really happy for them, I am, but I get panicked every time I look at it because I'm like, well, I don't really know what I'm doing.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really have a plan in place.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um as I said before, I do have an option to go to college if I if everything else fails, but I don't want to do that.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be in a company.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, because I don't have anything written, all of my stuff is verbal right now, I am in a panic mode pretty much every time I see something like that.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I've been cleansing myself of social media.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there you go.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, actually, that reminds me of this um quote that I recently saw, and it's uh don't judge me by the chapter that you walked in on.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I do think that that's a good way to look at it when we do feel ourselves triggered into that comparison mode.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's a reminder that while we don't want people to judge the chapter that we're on, we also shouldn't judge the chapter that they're on, and that it's a recognition that we're each in charge of writing our own story.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: We're each in charge of authoring where we want to go and how we want to get there.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: And um, remembering that ultimately it's not about other people making us happy, but it's for us to define our happiness for ourselves and for us to define what success means for us rather than having those things come from an external place.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: So just in closing, would you have any thoughts or words that you would want to share with any other young adults who might be considering going down the nonlinear path?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, for sure.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely, first of all, want to say this is gonna sound funny, but don't listen to people.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, yes, take their opinions, take what they have to say, but don't take it to heart, just take it with a grain of salt.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes they are they think that they are looking out for you.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: They think that they know what's best for you, but ultimately you know what's best for you, you know what's gonna make you happiest, and you need to go with what you think what you know actually, not what you think, what you know is right for you.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because ultimately this is your life.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: They're not writing it, you're the one writing it, you're the one who's living it.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: So just go with your gut instinct all the time, and as my teacher says, keep your blinders on.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I know that from my perspective as um a life coach who does work with teens, this is something that I focus on with my teen clients and my young adult clients, those who are in college as well, struggling with the the shoulds and the ought to's.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's something where we work on building that um self-esteem, self-confidence, self-compassion muscle, the one where we start defining our um ourselves for ourselves and not living to those external expectations and external validations.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: If you ever want to uh reach out, if you want support, if you have some thoughts, questions, feel free to email me at contact at it'sauthenticme.com or visit the website at www.itsauthenticme.com.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: And until next time, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to Rise Up.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Always remember your uniqueness and the gift that you bring to this world.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Life happens for you, not to you.