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Transcript

You're Never Too Young to Die · Movie Meltdown

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, this is John Waters and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: You better keep listening or I'll have you killed.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Power nuclear reactor pumping out 1 million kilowatts of power.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: What's up and welcome.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: To Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian.
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: I'm Misty.
• 1:18
  Speaker 6: And I'm Jerry.
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: And we're coming to you live via digital recording from
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: the Bastion of Awesomeness. And as threatened last time, we
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: were going to watch a movie and I guess it's
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: a movie.
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: Blaming this entirely on Boyfriend.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, it was one of those as the
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: even recently we were discussing movies and I was like,
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: because he brought up one I did want to see
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: and want to put on our list so we can
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: have a special Jay's Picks.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: Would it have been better than this one?
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: As you threw this out, I was like, you know,
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: we do make Jay watch a lot of ridiculous crap
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: over the years and usually you don't even you're just
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: going to it and yeah this is totally revenge but
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: I was like he should get to pick some sometimes
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: most of the time either we're doing it for a
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: specific reason that I came up with and Misty's like
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: I don't care I want to watch this movie and
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: then now Jay's revenge yes maybe that's the name.
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: Of this thing the Jay strikes back revenge of the Jay.
• 2:27
  Speaker 6: I like Jay Strikes Back better.
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it does work.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: So, are we ready to just jump right to it?
• 2:35
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: We're going to jump in both feet with spiked heels on.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: Both feet on fire.
• 2:42
  Speaker 8: It's time for Sofa Theater.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: The new American hero.
• 2:48
  Speaker 8: Go!
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: John Stamos is Stargrove.
• 2:53
  Speaker 9: Stargrove!
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Vanity is Donja. Gene Simmons is Ragnar.
• 3:07
  Speaker 10: Yeah!
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Never too young to die. Rated R.
• 3:13
  Speaker 11: They try to tell us we're too young. Too young
• 3:24
  Speaker 11: to really be They say that love's.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: A word A word we've only.
• 3:37
  Speaker 11: Heard But can't begin to know the meaning of.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 3:46
  Speaker 10: This week's Sympathy to Feature is Never Too Young to.
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: Die. Hell yeah, it is. The year is 1986. The director,
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: you want to call him that, is Gil Bettman. And
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: the plot, according to IMDb, a top secret agent is murdered.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: So is a strange son a high school, he's a
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: high school gymnast?
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: I thought he was at least college.
• 4:33
  Speaker 12: I thought he was in college.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: Way to go, IMDb. A high school gymnast teams up
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: with his dad's attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic,
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him and now plans a
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: major terrorist attack. Spoiler alert! I don't think anything we
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: could say could come close to the watching of this film,
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: but we'll still probably spoil something, so you should go...
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: Watch it first. That sounded convincing.
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: Will anybody go watch it?
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: Hey, it is available to watch on the, what did
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: I say it was on? No, you can watch it
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: for free.
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: Tubi?
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: It's on Tubi for free, but it does have commercials.
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: It does have the commercials if you do choose to
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: watch it on Tubi, or you can pay the $ 4,
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: the big money, and watch it on Amazon Prime.
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: I'm like the only one who paid $ 4 to watch
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: it on Amazon Prime.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: They're having like a party up there.
• 5:28
  Speaker 12: Somebody finally clicked on it!
• 5:31
  Speaker 13: Sucker!
• 5:36
  Speaker 10: Oh.
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: Where do we even start?
• 5:39
  Speaker 12: Turd balls?
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: You know, I don't even remember where I heard about
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: this movie. It was on a music podcast, actually, I
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: think it was, and they were talking about 80s music.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: And, I.
• 5:52
  Speaker 6: Mean, you know, to me, 1986 will always be the
• 5:57
  Speaker 6: best year that I remember growing up. everything's 86 for me.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: Because of this movie?
• 6:04
  Speaker 12: Not because of this movie, but because of the year.
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: They were talking about music and somebody had said something,
• 6:09
  Speaker 6: they had mentioned something about this movie and said that
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: it's got to be one of the worst movies they've
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: ever seen. And I was like, and they were like,
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: and it's got John Stamos in it. And I was like,
• 6:20
  Speaker 6: I was at work, I was like, what the hell
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: is this movie? So I had to look it up.
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: I had to look up the trailer on YouTube and
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: I was like, holy shit, we've got to watch this
• 6:29
  Speaker 6: movie because it's got Not only John Stamos, but it's
• 6:33
  Speaker 6: also got Gene Simmons in it.
• 6:35
  Speaker 7: And?
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: And Vanity.
• 6:37
  Speaker 13: And?
• 6:37
  Speaker 6: And Robert England.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: And?
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: Is there any other ands?
• 6:42
  Speaker 12: And that other guy.
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: George Lazenby?
• 6:44
  Speaker 12: Yeah, George Lazenby.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: I forgot about him. As I'm sure he would like
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: everyone to forget.
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure that was part of his contract.
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: I thought you were talking about the big muscle guy
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: that was only.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: That was Ed Brock. Giant hair dude.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: And then that one guy who was in four episodes
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: of The Twilight Zone, whose name I already forgot.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:01
  Speaker 13: Anyways.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: Well, see, that's the sad thing is you sent it
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: over and I was like, oh yeah, I remember. Luckily
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: I hadn't seen it, but I do remember just dork
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: hanging around the video store. Like I do remember seeing that,
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: especially once I brought up the, the, like the VHS cover.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh yeah, I remember that one. And
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: I do remember the cast. I definitely remember the vanity part.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: She might have been on the cover. Maybe they were
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: hiding the Gene Simmons part.
• 7:28
  Speaker 6: They might have been.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: Because I didn't really... Until we got into this... Hold on.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: He was one of the most enjoyable parts of this movie.
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: Well, I was like, that's the thing, though. I did
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: remember a movie that his thing going on there was
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: part of the plot. I do remember. I was like, oh, yeah,
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: he did do something. I forgot it was this movie, so...
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: Until we got into it, I was like, oh, yeah.
• 7:50
  Speaker 6: Oh, this would have been one of the cheesiest movies
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: I would have rented from the... I don't even know
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: what it is.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: The corner.
• 7:59
  Speaker 6: Where I was, we didn't have video stores.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: We had.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: The.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Quickie Mart.
• 8:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it was kind of like Quickie Mart. It was
• 8:07
  Speaker 6: a local grocery gas station, and it carried... VHS tapes.
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: The best movie.
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: Well, yeah, yeah.
• 8:17
  Speaker 12: It got all the greatest movies.
• 8:19
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it got all the, you know, well,
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: we can't order this, so I guess we'll be ordering this.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: They're all out of Starman, so instead we got A
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: Million Ways to Die. It's got Uncle Jesse in it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: People are going to love this movie.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 8:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, they always got all the greatest movies that nobody
• 8:38
  Speaker 6: had ever heard of.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: So sadly that I think that says a lot about
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: me is that I had heard of it.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: I remembered it and probably would have watched it. Just
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: don't think I got around to it at the time.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: And thank goodness we made up for that today.
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: Yes, we did.
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: So they do really is, as I said, once it started,
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: I was like, they just throw you right into this.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: Like we immediately descend into the, the little scene there with,
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: with the.
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: This movie just throws you into the middle of fucking nowhere,
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: and you're just like, what, turd balls?
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: We're immediately in that set.
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: But you already know. You already know. You've had years
• 9:21
  Speaker 6: to prepare for this.
• 9:22
  Speaker 12: You know where you are.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Do we?
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: You do. Because I'm still lost.
• 9:27
  Speaker 12: You do. It's 80s.
• 9:28
  Speaker 6: It's back during the time when punks were feared by
• 9:33
  Speaker 6: every good, upstanding Christian citizen ever. You know, punks were
• 9:38
  Speaker 6: evil and satanic, and, you know, so was anybody else
• 9:43
  Speaker 6: that didn't fit into that mold. So, obviously, they were
• 9:45
  Speaker 6: always the go-to for the terrorists or bad guys of sorts.
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: This is, like, very torn, though, because it's like, are
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: we in, like, post-apocalyptic time? Because we have, like, Mad
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: Max fucking.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: Going on all the time.
• 9:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you almost think that for a second, and then
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: you realize it's actual. just, like, normal times.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: As we said, there's a lot of movies, specifically 80s era, that, like,
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: that line becomes really blurred.
• 10:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: I'm like, why does this world coexist with regular life world?
• 10:16
  Speaker 12: Cause that was the eighties.
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: It was very Mad Max or the lost boys from hook.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:21
  Speaker 14: Yeah.
• 10:22
  Speaker 12: Well, that's, that's what I was looking.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: I was trying to, I was like, what? It's such
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: a dividing line of like, there's been a handful of
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: movies that have like over the years been like, okay,
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: this movie changed every movie that came after it. You know,
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: it's like anything that you can put up in the,
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: This movie changed nothing. No, I'm not talking about this one.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: But that's the thing. I was like, you know, from
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: Star Wars on, every, like, special effects were different and
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: every approach at marketing was different. In that same category,
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: maybe a little further down, but the Road Warrior, like,
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: every movie after that was like, anybody that ever worked
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: in somebody with a mohawk, Somebody wearing giant shoulder pads
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: or leather or driving a spike dune buggy. Everything about
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: Road Warrior struck a nerve in so many people that
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: they were just like, okay, from this point on, we're
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: going to have to keep working these characters into movies
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: even when they don't fit. We're going to cram them
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: in there. Because this is totally Road Warrior stuff. Like,
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: through half of this movie, for no real reason.
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: Motorcycles that are just painted. Everything's painted flat black. There's
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: nets hanging on stuff.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: Skulls.
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: Half the motorcycles have horse heads.
• 11:34
  Speaker 12: Yeah, that was kind of weird.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: They don't explain that. And half of his guys, like, while... Which, again,
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: is part of what I'm trying to, as I'm building
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: my post-apocalyptic world, I do like it's just a mix
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: of all kinds of crazy shit. Because even there, it's like, okay,
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: giant leather shoulder pads with your mohawk, and then the
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: other guy's just wearing medieval garb.
• 11:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: He just came from the joust down the street with
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: a big turkey leg in his hand. And I was
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: just like, wait, what? Those are kind of two different eras,
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: and that's why post-apocalyptic works. It's every era thrown together
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: into a big old mess, and then you just slap
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: a mohawk on it, and you're good to go. But
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: once again, we're not really in there. Most of this
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: takes place in our regular world, where you go to
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: your high school slash college, and you go and everything.
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: They have a dorm room together for fun things.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. I was like, he's in a dorm.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: There's no way he's in high school.
• 12:27
  Speaker 12: I'm pretty sure he's in college.
• 12:28
  Speaker 6: I think he's in college.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: I guess this could have been a private school. Maybe
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: they have their own dorms there.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Ah.
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: I also think they let any idiot write stuff on MTV.
• 12:37
  Speaker 6: It would have had to have been high school because college,
• 12:40
  Speaker 6: they don't have parent days, do they? I don't know.
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: I didn't go to college.
• 12:45
  Speaker 6: I dropped out.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Obviously, I don't know anything. That's why I'm here. Talking
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: about this movie right now.
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: He was 23 at this point.
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: In the real world?
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: In the real world.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: Well, they always pretend like they're younger. So that's the
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: other thing I had to check. Time wise, because I'm
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: watching at the very beginning when we're seeing Stamos and
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: his full Stamosness with his Uncle Jesse hair and he's
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: doing his bounciness and he's trying to pretend like he's
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: on the rings. And I'm like, you are no Mitch Gaylord.
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: Because this was I was like, this is right around
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: that same time when they were like, we just came
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: out of the 84 Olympics. That was the coolest thing ever.
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: Like suddenly everything that won gold medals, which was everything
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: for the US that year. Was the coolest thing. How
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: can we market on it and turn it into stuff?
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: And again, it's June of 86 is when American Anthem
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: came out starring gold medal winner Mitch Gaylord. And it's
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: not this dumb plot. It's just like a weird music
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: video inspired slash relationship going on. It's not anything with
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: spies and post-apocalyptic weirdos.
• 13:59
  Speaker 6: But.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you're watching him at the beginning, and I'm like,
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: this came out the same time. But as I believe
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: you said, they shot this in about a week.
• 14:06
  Speaker 6: And a half.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: So I'm pretty sure the studio movie American Anthem was
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: being made. Hold on, let me go back to the trivia.
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: 35 days?
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: It was shot in 35 days.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: So that's what I'm saying. I was like, the studio movie,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: I'm sure they were working on for a year and
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: a half and put out press releases. Hey, look, we've
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: got Mitch Gaylord. He's going to make a movie. And
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: suddenly they were like, huh. We could get our guy
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: to be into gymnastics.
• 14:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that would totally make him a super spy.
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: People would really respond to gymnastics.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: This was his actual first real movie. He was in
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: a TV show.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: I mean, after you're in general hospital, you can do anything.
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: Well, he was on Dreams first. That was his first.
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: And then an Alice in Wonderland TV movie.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: See, this was even pre-Full House. By one year.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: Because this was 86. He started on Full House in 87.
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: But he was already coming off of that General Hospital, right?
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: But he was on there for years, so it probably
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: puts that at the end.
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he was on from 82 to 92. Blackie Parrish.
• 15:16
  Speaker 6: Wow, I think my mom watched General Hospital.
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: Oh, I know my mom and my grandma did.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: I remember that is like the first time I remember
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: seeing him because he was the cool guy, obviously.
• 15:26
  Speaker 6: I don't remember anything about it. I just remember that
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: was mom's story time and that meant get the fuck
• 15:33
  Speaker 6: out of the house.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:35
  Speaker 6: She kicked me out of the house and locked the
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: door and I was left to run around the neighborhood
• 15:40
  Speaker 6: or the woods.
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: And you did both.
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: Drink out of the water hose.
• 15:44
  Speaker 12: Drink out of the water hose, because that's your water.
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: Bring it back around, because they had the water hose scene.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: We'll get back to her later. No, that was the
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: other one I was thinking, too, right around this time. Yep,
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: they got that one out a little quicker. 1985 is Gymkata. Oh, Gymkata, yeah.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: Coming off our 84-year-old movie.
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I forgot about that movie.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Or it was another movie I wanted to watch. We
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: can put it on the Jay's Strikes Back.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: No.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: I don't know. We officially, at some point down the line,
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: are going to have to cover it. Yeah, we'll have
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: to watch it. But that was what I was thinking.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: It was like that's after, again, 84 was just that
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: big thing when all of a sudden everybody cared about
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: the Olympics. Yeah. And one of the big things was
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: gymnastics all of a sudden. So, like, yeah, everything became,
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: how do we work that into our pop culture?
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: Oh, my family had a huge Olympics thing. It was
• 16:39
  Speaker 6: like a book. It was a coffee table book. It
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: was huge.
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: I bet they paid a fortune for it back then.
• 16:44
  Speaker 12: It was the biggest, yeah. Yeah, it was the biggest.
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: Fucking book we had on the coffee table. The thing
• 16:49
  Speaker 6: was gigantic. It was probably about the size of like a,
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: you know, like the square pans you put in your
• 16:55
  Speaker 6: oven to cook French fries on. It was like that big.
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: It was fucking huge.
• 17:00
  Speaker 12: It was huge.
• 17:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't even know why they bought that. They
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: just had it on the table.
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: You could have just put legs on the book and
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: used that.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: As a table.
• 17:07
  Speaker 12: Yeah, that was a big thing.
• 17:09
  Speaker 6: I do remember.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: 84, like that was, because that was, I mean, that
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: was the year we were all, it was the big push.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: It was also in this country, which doesn't always happen.
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: Didn't we beat the Russians?
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: Well, that was the thing. That was the back and
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: forth when one year we dropped out and then the
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: next year they dropped out. So our only competition most
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: of the time, not to act like, USA is a
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: big deal, but Americans, that's what we do.
• 17:32
  Speaker 12: Back then.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: But that's the thing. Like, most of our competition at
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: the time was Russia. And the 84 Olympics, they boycotted
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: and or didn't come to America to compete. So, like,
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: there was no, like, we wiped, like, in every event
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: just about, except some of those weird, like, winter ones
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: that probably, like, Norway and Sweden just kicked our ass.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: But for the most part, like, all of those other
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: events that we had any competition in were just, we
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: just mowed over everybody. So again, American pride was like
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: through the freaking roof. Yeah, it was. And mostly I
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: just remember it. Cause I, we cleaned up at McDonald's.
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: Cause remember they did that little like pull off thing
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: on the prize. And if, and the way they used
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: to do it, I think they changed it later. Cause
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: they got burned this very year. Well, at the time,
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: if you pulled it off and you're like, oh, men's gymnastics.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: And if you won a silver medal, you got some fries.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: But gold medal, you got a Big Mac or something.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: We won so many gold medals. They probably took a
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: huge loss on that promo. Way to go, McDonald's.
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: We should have been handing out more bronze.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: Way to go, McDonald's. So, yeah, the Olympics. Somehow that
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: factored into this. because why else would you have Uncle
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: Jesse bouncing on his bouncy castle? Because that's pretty much
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: all he was doing in his gym scenes.
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: Hey, I'll have you know he took gymnastic lessons for
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: this role.
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: I'm not sure what those gymnastic lessons were.
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: To bounce and then bounce on his stomach like he
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: was going to do a flip?
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he almost did a flip. He didn't, but he
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: almost did. Then later he was on the rings and
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: his double in that really bad wig did a much
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: better impression.
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: He was on the rings long enough to go upside down.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Kind of.
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: He goes upside down. He goes upside down.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: And then they went from like a block and a
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: half away to shoot the other shot where he actually
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: did tricks. And it still looked like a pretty bad wig.
• 19:25
  Speaker 12: It was awful.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Gymnastics.
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: How lucky was he to have the super nerdy Asian
• 19:34
  Speaker 6: sidekick to build all kinds of weird stuff? And then
• 19:37
  Speaker 6: he stole his bike and just fucking left it out
• 19:40
  Speaker 6: on the road. But then it's funny because he ends up.
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: buying a new motorcycle using his credit card.
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: And that one gets stolen too.
• 19:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it did.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: Didn't it? Yeah. They go through a lot of bikes
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: in this movie.
• 19:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah, there are a lot of good old motorcycles in
• 19:55
  Speaker 6: this movie. A lot of old dirt bikes. Well, no,
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: not those.
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: Those were pretty cool. Come on now.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he had his own M or Q or some
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: other letter.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: From James Bond. Well, and that's what I realized, because
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: I didn't even realize that's what this was. Like, I
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: thought it was just going to be a dumb action movie,
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: which to some extent it is. Yeah. But it also, like,
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: once we get into the spy stuff, and I was like, oh,
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: is this James Bond Jr.
• 20:22
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Speaker 7: It is.
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: That's James Bond's dad. On the trivia, it was supposed
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: to actually be like a new, like, spinoff series, like a...
• 20:31
  Speaker 5: The movie was intended as the starting point for a
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: Son of Bond-type franchise. It not only flopped at the
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: box office, but was later shunned by its co-star Gene Simmons.
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: Years later, when a fan recognized him as Velvet Von Ragnar,
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: Simmons exclaimed, Don't tell me you saw that thing!
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: See, that's what I thought. This was right in the
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: lull area there. Because we don't get the new Bond
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: until 87. So that's when we get Living Daylights. Again,
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: there was a little resurgence because we got a new Bond.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: But yeah, we're coming out of old, tired Roger Moore.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: Being like, yeah, I'll do another one. All right, I'll
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: do another one. He did several more than I think
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: even he planned to do. So I could see them
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: wanting to do kind of a reboot, even if it
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: wasn't an official reboot. Just a side version.
• 21:24
  Speaker 6: It always cracks me up in these movies, though, like
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: in the 80s. It was like, you know, if your
• 21:28
  Speaker 6: dad was like a super spy or if he was
• 21:32
  Speaker 6: like a fighter pilot or something like that or, you know, whatever,
• 21:38
  Speaker 6: and he didn't spend any time with you and you
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: don't know anything, you're a gymnast, let's say, that all
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: of a sudden you find his secret lair of, you know,
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: guns and shit and all of a sudden you know
• 21:51
  Speaker 6: how to do All the things that your dad probably
• 21:54
  Speaker 6: spent years training in the military to do.
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: If you had a magic medallion, sure.
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: Yeah, if you got a magic medallion. All of a sudden,
• 22:03
  Speaker 6: you're endowed with those. Is it endowed or imbued?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: Oh, he was endowed.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Whatever.
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: Couldn't win Vanity over unless you were endowed.
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: But all of a sudden, he had those powers. He's like, oh,
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: you're a... And come on, what was the last name?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Star?
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: Oh, wait. Stargrove.
• 22:25
  Speaker 12: Stargrove? Who the fuck came up with that last name?
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: I was like, that sounds like a bad sci-fi video
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: game from 1986. Oh, man, I couldn't get past level
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: three on Stargrove.
• 22:35
  Speaker 12: Yeah, either that or, like, a really cheesy 80s.
• 22:42
  Speaker 6: I don't know, like... Like, they took space and crossed
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: it with a western, and then you had, like, Stargrove.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: I think it's more like a Muppet crossover skit.
• 22:53
  Speaker 13: Yeah.
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: And you get Grover. Yeah. He's doing like a Star
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: Wars knockoff. He's like, I'm Star Grover. Like he flies
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: a spaceship and pigs in space essentially. But you know,
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: with Grover, which I'm kind of want to see now
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: is what I'm thinking. This sounds kind of awesome.
• 23:08
  Speaker 6: But yeah, come on, come up with a believable name.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Lance.
• 23:13
  Speaker 6: So, Lance.
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: Lancey, Lancey.
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: Oh, So, yeah, we skipped over our little intro to
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: Gene where we get... Turdballs. Turdballs.
• 23:25
  Speaker 7: My little turdballs. My little scumbuckets.
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: We're them good.
• 23:34
  Speaker 7: But good. Figured out how to access their computers and
• 23:39
  Speaker 7: rechannel radioactive waste so it goes from Diablo Canyon into
• 23:46
  Speaker 7: their drinking water.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Poison the water supply.
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna poison the water supply!
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: For gold, for ransom, for jewels, for money! Poison!
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: Poison!
• 23:59
  Speaker 10: Poison!
• 24:00
  Speaker 11: How are we.
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: Going to do this?
• 24:03
  Speaker 7: With all the info we have crammed onto our little
• 24:05
  Speaker 7: computer disk.
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: Our own little.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: Ramcade!
• 24:09
  Speaker 10: Ramcade!
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: Ramcade!
• 24:10
  Speaker 10: Ramcade!
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: But there's a slight glitch.
• 24:13
  Speaker 12: Someone has stolen our disk.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: Every time he's like that time in the beginning and
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: then later when he does his big speech at the end.
• 24:24
  Speaker 6: Do they let him freeform that?
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: I guess because it's like it doesn't make any sense.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: It's just like obscenity mixed with nonsense and he just
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: keeps saying more sentences and I'm like what? What are
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: you doing? Stop talking. I'm not going to lie.
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: Usually I do not like Gene Simmons. And that was
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: the part I was least looking forward to in this movie.
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: And I'm not going to lie. I was thoroughly entertained.
• 24:45
  Speaker 12: I was pretty entertained.
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: By Gene Simmons. He was the highlight of this movie
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: for me. And all his sparkliness and boas. All of
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: his fucking Frankenfurter makeup. I don't give a shit. He
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: was fantastic in this movie.
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: I almost can't believe he did it. Just knowing what
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: a cocky Mr. Manly dude he is, this seems like
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: something that would go against his I'm too cool and
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: manly to pretend to be whatever we're going to call
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: him in this movie. But still, especially at that time,
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: now it would be cool to have a big star
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: do that if you want to call him a big star.
• 25:21
  Speaker 8: I don't think so.
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: But at the time, he was pretty recognizable. So, yeah,
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: it seems like a weird move in 86 to play that,
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: especially when you're, if you were cool, if you're Tim Curry,
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: you can pull that off. When you're Gene Simmons, I
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: don't know, it seems like his weird ego would get
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: the better of him and he'd turn down the role.
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: But I don't know. This was just a weird era
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: that he just kept cramming himself into movies. I don't
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: know that anybody asked him to be in movies, but.
• 25:49
  Speaker 12: I kind of like a lot of movies.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: At this point.
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: I kind of like the bar they hang out at.
• 25:54
  Speaker 6: I kind of want to go to that bar. I mean,
• 25:56
  Speaker 6: I mean, I've been to some bars that are kind
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: of like that, but that's, that's.
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: What I was thinking too. Actually, when he was doing
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: a stage show, I was like, Oh yeah, it's just
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: kind of like connections in the nineties. Yeah. Yeah. It's
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: pretty much what was going on without the, without the
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: guys on the fiery, uh, all the crazy road warrior
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: stuff taken out. But the rest of the stuff going on,
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: I'm like, Yeah, that was just kind of the way
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: the bar was there.
• 26:18
  Speaker 14: Yeah.
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: A little more of a production to their stage show.
• 26:21
  Speaker 6: Just a little bit more.
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah. But yeah, we missed the... That's when I knew
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: we were in trouble and we had a magical movie
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: in store for us when the The woman he was
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: threatening said, not the finger. I was like, oh God,
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: what have we gotten ourselves into?
• 26:43
  Speaker 6: They're all chanting, finger, finger, finger.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: It sounds like we're making this movie up. I swear
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: it's a real movie. We just watched it. Oh God.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: The other, I mean, just again, the weird choices they
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: make with our hero. Because the first thing we see
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: him do, he's cheating on a test. Yeah. So I'm like, okay,
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: now he's a cheater. He's using his fancy digital watch
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: to get answers on his test.
• 27:15
  Speaker 6: And his friend.
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: And I was like, what the?
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: His friend's helping him cheat.
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So you're both shady characters.
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: Because he's a super smart Asian character. At what point
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: would you have him there if not to help you
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: cheat on a test? I mean, it was the 80s.
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry.
• 27:28
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: So yeah, we jump over to his dad.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: Lazenby?
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: Oh, Lazenby. And what did we decide? His contract said.
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: If I gotta be in this piece of shit, I'll
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: at least die in the first half hour.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: Gotta at least kill me pretty quick. If I'm coming
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: back for this. If I'm coming back to the spy game,
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna do it for a little bit. And then
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: you can give it to that Uncle Jesse kid.
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: For a guy who gets shot in the leg twice.
• 28:01
  Speaker 6: He moves around pretty good.
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: He barely even limped.
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: I know. You know, didn't hit you in the femoral artery,
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: didn't shatter your femur or anything like that. He's just
• 28:13
  Speaker 6: running around.
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: When they bandage him over his bulky pants.
• 28:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, just go ahead and throw the bandage
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: on top of your pants. It's fine.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: But then we start to get that psychic connection.
• 28:28
  Speaker 13: Oh, yeah.
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: Between him and his dad.
• 28:30
  Speaker 12: Yeah, when his dad finally gets killed.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: Well, he's taping up the wound and he's taping up
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: his hands.
• 28:35
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that part.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: And then we cut to, yeah, once dad gets shot,
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: he just feels it.
• 28:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: Even though he was across the country, he burned his
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: hand on a tea kettle and his dad was like, oh,
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: my hand.
• 28:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, like he never sees his dad.
• 28:48
  Speaker 12: I got this one picture of me and my dad.
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: I hope it doesn't get broke in a fight.
• 28:56
  Speaker 12: That's another thing, you know.
• 28:59
  Speaker 6: You know, when you get the shit kicked out of you,
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: you don't just magically all of a sudden, and they
• 29:05
  Speaker 6: do this in the movie all the time and always
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: kind of like, just, I don't know. I always think
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: about that. You know, that doesn't happen. You get the
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: shit kicked out of you. And then all of a
• 29:13
  Speaker 6: sudden you're just like, Oh, I've got this magical power.
• 29:17
  Speaker 6: And then I'm going to come back. It's like, no,
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: you're getting the shit kicked out of you. What's happening
• 29:21
  Speaker 6: is you're starting to get tunnel vision and you can't
• 29:24
  Speaker 6: hear very well. And you're starting to blackout.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: But what if you have an inspiring moment?
• 29:30
  Speaker 6: That doesn't mean shit.
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: What if you pick up your magical medallion from your
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: dad and then you have superpowers?
• 29:35
  Speaker 6: That still doesn't mean shit. You're still getting your head
• 29:37
  Speaker 6: stomped in.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, because these two jokers that show up
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: at his barn that he inherited and start just beating
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: the hell out of him. And it goes on for
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: quite a while. Again, I was kind of surprised. I
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: was like, okay, this is our hero, but they are
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: beating his ass for like five minutes straight and making
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: fun of him every step of the way. And I
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: was like, is he? still supposed to be.
• 29:58
  Speaker 12: The heroes yeah he's crying at one point.
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: He's crying and like he's they're like whipping him yeah
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: like a little kid.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: Kind of getting his ass beat so yeah at that
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: point i'm just like what what are we doing with
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: this character but it is one of those like did
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: he not like did he also forget because then when
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: he gets his inspiration and he and he's like ha
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: ha He starts using all his badass gymnastic powers to
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: kick their ass.
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: As one does.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: So, like, did he just forget that he knew all
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: his gymnastics when they were beating his ass?
• 30:31
  Speaker 6: I don't know, but I'm pretty sure gymnastics doesn't translate
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: to fighting in the real world. If you can do
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: flips and flip over them. That just means you can
• 30:39
  Speaker 6: do flips.
• 30:40
  Speaker 12: And then you punch them.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: They don't punch you.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's not how that works.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: But yeah, when they attack her in the barn, the
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: dude with the hair, what the fuck is his name? Pyramid.
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: As if this wasn't already a cartoon. Like, he is
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: the most cartoon character... I said it. I was like,
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: he looks like a really over-the-top Ben Stiller character.
• 31:12
  Speaker 12: He does, doesn't he?
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: He's got the bad mustache and a giant hairdo. It
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: looks like one of those side movies that they hire
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: him to come in and just be a really over-the-top
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: funny character. Yup, that's who this guy was. Like that.
• 31:25
  Speaker 6: He's like the super muscle-bound right-hand man.
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: Who constantly gets his ass kicked. For somebody that big,
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: he loses every turn because he's Dumb, I guess.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 31:38
  Speaker 10: Hungry?
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: Thirsty?
• 32:00
  Speaker 15: The refreshment stand is open with everything to satisfy your
• 32:04
  Speaker 15: taste buds.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: Here's the menu.
• 32:06
  Speaker 15: The hottest, freshest, crunchiest popcorn. Each kernel popped to its
• 32:10
  Speaker 15: fullest with that real movie time taste. Cold drinks. You'll
• 32:14
  Speaker 15: find your favorite ice cold, tasty and thirst quenching. And
• 32:18
  Speaker 15: hot dogs, hamburgers and candy too. Now a short intermission
• 32:22
  Speaker 15: so you'll have time to make your selection before the
• 32:25
  Speaker 15: show begins.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: An avalanche of action. Bigger. Better. Different.
• 32:38
  Speaker 6: It's got to be when he's around.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: My name's Bond. James Bond. The new Bond.
• 32:49
  Speaker 9: Suppose I were to kill you for a thrill.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: The different 007.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: So Misty, You like horror. I do.
• 33:35
  Speaker 12: It's my favorite.
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: I think most people are into that. And if they are,
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: they should be joining up on the old Meltdown Horror Club.
• 33:43
  Speaker 9: I will take you to a place where my friends foregather.
• 33:47
  Speaker 9: There you will find stories of such blood-curdling terror that
• 33:52
  Speaker 9: will make your toes curl and your hair reach up
• 33:55
  Speaker 9: towards the sky.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: But yes, all they have to do is go to MovieMeltdown.com,
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: click on the Meltdown Horror Club link that's right there
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: on the right-hand side, and join the club.
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: Hells yeah.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: And then they can hear exclusive episodes all about horror,
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: all about whatever crazy movies we're watching. And at this point,
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: they get to help us pick the next movie that
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: we watch. Awesome. Them and Satan. And or the evil
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: forces that live inside the 20-sided die that I now
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: use to choose what our next horror movie is going
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: to be. But you put things on the list, and
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: then we go to the evil forces that live and die,
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: and they tell us what the next movie is. It's
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: pretty fun.
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: Sounds pretty exciting.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: I think we're having fun with it, and you can
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: be part of that fun. Go to MovieMeltdown.com, join the
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: Meltdown Horror Club, and get in on the action.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: The most fun you'll ever have being scared.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Patricia Quinn, and you're luckily listening to Movie Meltdown.
• 35:05
  Speaker 15: Michael Rainey was ill the day.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: The earth stood still.
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: But he told us where we stand And Flash Gordon
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: was there in silver underwear Claude Rains was the invisible
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: man Then something went wrong for Fay.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Wray and Keith. That's part of your problem, you know.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: You haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: answered in the movies. And now, on with the show.
• 35:49
  Speaker 7: It takes a man like me to be a woman
• 35:53
  Speaker 7: like me.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah!
• 36:00
  Speaker 12: Can you guess what I am? Do you believe what
• 36:04
  Speaker 12: you see?
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah!
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah!
• 36:21
  Speaker 7: Well, is this a dream or can I be for real?
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Well, if you doubt yourself, I can let you feel.
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: But that was after the production. Misty. Would you like
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: to discuss.
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: I've been watching it. I haven't sat here watching it
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: the whole time.
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: You can't focus.
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: I'm going back and forth comparing the scenes. I wonder
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: if they used some of the same dance moves.
• 36:50
  Speaker 12: If you want to call those dance moves.
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: There was a lot of pelvic thrust going on.
• 36:54
  Speaker 7: Oh, God.
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, apparently the outfit that he wears... Gene Simmons. I
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: was trying to figure out his.
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: Whatever his stage name was. Velvet Von... Something or other.
• 37:07
  Speaker 6: Ragnar. Yeah, Ragnar.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: The outfit that he wears during his song that he
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: sings in the club. Apparently, in 1980, they did a...
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: I don't know if it was some kind of special
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: where they were doing like... I don't know if they
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: were performances... In tribute to Kiss?
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: I mean, they used to do a lot of, like,
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: just musical shows on TV. Like, as I remember as
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: a kid, like.
• 37:29
  Speaker 12: Kiss was big when I was a kid.
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Kiss, too. But just in general. Like, everything was
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: just a musical act.
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: Because, I mean, you can see that they have people
• 37:36
  Speaker 5: representing every member of the band.
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they do. But, yeah, it used to be.
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: But then they have Linda Carter singing, I was made
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: for loving you. But she's wearing the... Six years previous,
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: she was wearing the exact same outfit. Well, I guess
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: Gene Simmons wore the outfit six years later that she
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: wore in 1980. It's the exact same fucking outfit. Like,
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: the same headpiece, the same, like, boas. Flower.
• 38:04
  Speaker 12: It's exactly the same.
• 38:05
  Speaker 6: Feathers.
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure it's literally, he might have let it out.
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: He definitely had to let it out a lot.
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: But it is literally the exact same outfit. But yeah,
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: we were trying to figure out what year it was.
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: I'm not even sure what the special would have been.
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: Who knows?
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: They did a ton of those. Again, they did. They
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: were always on TV. Because everything, like even normal shows
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: were just musical variety. Your Donny and Marie's and stuff
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: at the time that were just musical numbers that went.
• 38:33
  Speaker 6: After the other. There were a lot of Captain and
• 38:34
  Speaker 6: Tennille stuff, too.
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: I remember seeing them on TV. Yeah, there was another one.
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: But then even the... I remember going back and watching...
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: When we were doing the musical episode talking about Billy
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: Dee Williams, he was on a special in the mid-80s
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: that was doing a song and dance number with somebody else.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: It was just a tribute to... It was a tie-in
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: with the network because Diana Ross was having a new
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: album come out and they did a whole hour or
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: longer special where different people just came out and performed
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: songs with her. I was just like, That happened a
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: lot at the time. They just did musical shows all
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: the time on regular television. So it's still kind of
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: weird to kiss. As big as they were, that's still
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: a different demographic.
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: There's a special from 1980 called, hold on a second,
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: Linda Carter's Rock and Roll Fantasy.
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: Oh, so it was just Linda. Carter doing different.
• 39:31
  Speaker 12: Linda Carter was huge in the 80s, though. God, she
• 39:33
  Speaker 12: was so beautiful.
• 39:34
  Speaker 5: She was.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: Still.
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: Have you seen her now? She still looks good. That's
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: a long time ago, and she still looks damn good.
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: But apparently she is performing a variety of M.O.R. and
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: country songs. sometimes with special guest stars like Kenny Rogers,
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: Tom Jones, Leo Sayre, along humorous skits.
• 39:56
  Speaker 6: She did some Tom Jones songs. I love me some
• 39:59
  Speaker 6: Tom Jones.
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: Apparently she did several of these.
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: In her original 1980s special, she also added a bit
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: of rock and roll into the mix. Well, sort of.
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: Her rock and roll fantasy consisted of her dressing up
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: like Tina Turner. Let's see a white performer get away
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: with that today. It says it on the thing. I
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: didn't put that in there myself.
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, it depends. If she's just wearing the outfit,
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: or is it going a little further?
• 40:24
  Speaker 5: I have no idea.
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: Let's hope she just wore a similar outfit. Short skirts.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: She's got tons of legs. She could pull that off.
• 40:32
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: It was the exact same fucking outfit.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: Well, and you were saying, like, you were talking about
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: how much it seems like he's doing his frankenverter.
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: It very much seemed to me like he was trying
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: his best. Even the makeup looks similar.
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: But it's also, like, as you were saying, I was thinking, like, well,
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: this wasn't that much. It's 11 years. Like, it's not, like,
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: now you think how long ago it's been since Rocky
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: Horror came out. But, like, it was only 11 years later,
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: and it really hadn't broke through into the mainstream at all. Like,
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: it was still that weird midnight movie. So, like, he
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: probably didn't think anybody would remember.
• 41:08
  Speaker 14: Right.
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: It's like, oh, that movie from a few years ago. Yeah,
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: it really didn't work, but I'm going to do my
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: version and it's going to be way better. So I
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: kind of can see him thinking he could just do
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: a similar thing, but again, it wasn't the cultural icon
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: that it eventually became. It was still just kids hanging
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: out at midnight 11 years later. It was not near...
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: I don't know. We still kind of go back to
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: it now just because it's got such a fan base,
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: but I think that fan base was still just hanging
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: out at midnight. And the people at home that they're
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: making this obviously wonderful film for, they probably weren't quite
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: as schooled on Rocky Horror. It's still weird watching him
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: do that. Gene Simmons in that outfit doing that. He's
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: almost a little too good at the performance part of it.
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean, that's what he does. He's a performer.
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: Not that version of the performance, though. I mean, again,
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: so much of it is him trying to do a
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: very feminine, the way that he holds himself, the way
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: that he gestures towards things.
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: But he's had a career being.
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: Very.
• 42:22
  Speaker 12: Flamboyant?
• 42:24
  Speaker 4: Not quite flamboyant, but he's certainly over the top.
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, very dramatic in his performance, so I can understand
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: how it could also translate to that because he it
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: they were all about the performance it was all about
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: the theatrics so.
• 42:38
  Speaker 13: I could understand more than the music exactly like i
• 42:42
  Speaker 13: don't think they're terrible but like i even even as
• 42:45
  Speaker 13: a kid i was like well i like the blood
• 42:48
  Speaker 13: and the fire and all.
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: The theatrics it's all a show it's.
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: All i forgot about the music they played most of
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: the time i just remembered the theatrics part of it
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: so And the snake boots. That was really the only
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: thing that sold me as a kid. Those snake boots
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: were badass.
• 43:02
  Speaker 12: I want a pair of snake boots.
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: I totally.
• 43:05
  Speaker 6: You're not getting them. Shut up.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: My cousin was so into them. And he had bat
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: wings too. And had a big ass poster. Probably the
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: Love Gun poster or whatever. And like I just remember
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: looking at the big fantasy artwork they did of him.
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: I'm like those boots are fucking awesome. They were.
• 43:19
  Speaker 5: And then they got to the 80s and he moved
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: on to the heels instead. They moved on to the
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: neon colors.
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah they did get a little more glammy and That
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: terrible hair was kind of just the way his hair
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: looked in the 80s, truthfully.
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: And how they managed to shove all that in a
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: fucking bullshit wig, I ain't figured out yet.
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: I don't know. So I guess this was him just
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: continuing on with his new weird post-makeup 80s look. Stealing
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: Linda Carter's outfit. It was!
• 43:50
  Speaker 15: Oh, man.
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: Should we talk about the fake hair? Are we leaving
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: that part out? Is that too much of a spoiler?
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: Which fake hair?
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: His fucking beard.
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: Oh, God. We already told you spoilers, but I mean, again.
• 44:02
  Speaker 12: He's a secret agent, double agent.
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: The second I saw him, I was like, oh, that
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: is a terrible wig and beard for Eugene Simmons pretending
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: to be another dude.
• 44:11
  Speaker 12: I didn't even know it was Gene Simmons.
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: Because it was kind of dark the first time we
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: saw him, and I'm like, I don't know. I knew
• 44:16
  Speaker 5: it was a wig, because I called that out immediately.
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you did, but I was just like, on Gene Simmons.
• 44:22
  Speaker 12: He looked like the old G.I. Joe figures. When they
• 44:27
  Speaker 12: first got the real hair? Yeah, when they got real hair.
• 44:32
  Speaker 12: That's what he looked like.
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not going to argue. That's pretty close. I
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: don't know if he had a kung fu grip, but
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: it's pretty close.
• 44:39
  Speaker 12: He looked like the G.I.
• 44:41
  Speaker 14: Joe.
• 44:41
  Speaker 12: I was like, wow, they couldn't even afford a guy
• 44:46
  Speaker 12: with a real beard?
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: They had to import this guy. What did you call him?
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: The dollar store?
• 44:53
  Speaker 12: Dollar store Chuck Norris.
• 44:57
  Speaker 8: Oh, God.
• 44:58
  Speaker 6: Or was it dime store Chuck Norris?
• 44:59
  Speaker 5: I said five and dime.
• 45:00
  Speaker 6: You said five and dime Chuck Norris.
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: Because he wasn't even the full dollar.
• 45:04
  Speaker 12: Yeah. And then later you find out It's really Gene Simmons.
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: Holy shnikes.
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, tricked you the whole time. I like that he
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: had the eye makeup on.
• 45:15
  Speaker 12: I was flamboozled.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: I like that he takes his sunglasses off for the
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: big reveal.
• 45:21
  Speaker 12: He's got the eye makeup.
• 45:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the fucking maniacal laugh.
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: I can't even do that. I mean, he did at
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: least commit to that level of his ridiculous character. Like,
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: he had that laugh down. And you bought it. That's
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: just what this weird character did all the time. I
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: don't know.
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: How much drugs do you think he was on at
• 45:43
  Speaker 5: this point?
• 45:44
  Speaker 4: A lot. I'm guessing.
• 45:46
  Speaker 6: Who knows?
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: Who knows?
• 45:50
  Speaker 15: Listen.
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: I promise you.
• 45:53
  Speaker 11: I'm going to do everything I can to find out
• 45:56
  Speaker 11: what happened.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: To your daddy.
• 45:58
  Speaker 8: Will it bring him back?
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: No. So thanks, but no thanks, all right?
• 46:02
  Speaker 13: I don't get it.
• 46:03
  Speaker 15: Don't you care about your father?
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Almost as much as he cared about me.
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: Excuse me. I thought I saw a different Stargirl back
• 46:17
  Speaker 5: at the barn.
• 46:19
  Speaker 6: I was obviously mistaken, huh?
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: Oh, man. We barely even talked about Uncle Jesse.
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: Because he kind of blended in the background of the
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: magnificence that was the Gene Simmons show.
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: And then, you know, we got Vanity. She's there to
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: be Vanity.
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: She's there to have the most awkward fucking seduction scene
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: I've ever seen.
• 46:44
  Speaker 6: Wait a minute, when did Purple Rain come out? Was
• 46:47
  Speaker 6: that 86? Oh, now we gotta look up because I
• 46:52
  Speaker 6: can't remember.
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: 84.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, see?
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: But I mean, technically she's not... She was still... She's
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: just Prince adjacent. She's not... That was the weird little
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: switch that happened because she was supposed to be in
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: Purple Rain. I think, if I'm remembering these stories right,
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: I don't remember what the rift was. Because it was
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: even Vanity 6 that was her band beforehand that Prince produced.
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: And then suddenly it became Apollonia. And then the band
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: was Apollonia 6. And I was like, well, you're not
• 47:25
  Speaker 4: hiding this very much. So I don't remember what it
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: was that caused that weird little split and or switcheroo.
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: So yeah, she just became known because she hung out
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: with Prince. And was one of the many super hot
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: chicks he was involved with. Yeah, I don't know.
• 47:44
  Speaker 6: Okay, no, she was in Playboy in 88. I was
• 47:48
  Speaker 6: trying to figure out if there was a tie-in between
• 47:51
  Speaker 6: her kind of like, but I guess it was just
• 47:55
  Speaker 6: kind of in the vicinity of Prince.
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: I mean, everybody got kind of famous for being cool
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: and hanging out with him. It's no offense. He's an
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: amazing drummer, but She just became known because she hung
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: out with Prince and then was part of the band
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: and then did her own thing and was like, I
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: think his album was, or she was definitely got her
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: album made because she was hanging out with Prince. So
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: it's like, it just sort of helped you in your career.
• 48:21
  Speaker 14: Yeah.
• 48:21
  Speaker 6: It's not to say that people weren't talented. It was
• 48:23
  Speaker 6: just that he kind of boosted.
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: A lot of people. I mean, he did. He continued
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: to do that for years. I mean, the only reason
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: we know who Carmen Electra is, is because Prince found
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: her and went, ah, I mean, she's attractive. Maybe I
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: can do something with this and didn't quite work out.
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: But I mean, again, like years go by and you
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: can go back and look at all these different people
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: that were connected to him over the years. And so
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: many of them became famous sometimes just because they were
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: hanging out with Prince. And then sometimes they were talented
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: and did their own thing.
• 48:53
  Speaker 5: But I didn't know she was in The Last Dragon.
• 48:55
  Speaker 12: Yeah, she's in The Last Dragon.
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: Wait a minute. What was The Last Dragon? 85. 85. Yeah.
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: So maybe that was a movie star.
• 49:02
  Speaker 12: I forgot about that.
• 49:03
  Speaker 6: I forgot about The Last Dragon.
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: She did a lot of stuff at this point.
• 49:06
  Speaker 6: I haven't seen that movie in forever either.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Put it on the list.
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: But yeah, she became a legit movie star.
• 49:15
  Speaker 8: Kind of.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: As much as you need vanity to be in your movie.
• 49:19
  Speaker 5: I always forget that she died already.
• 49:21
  Speaker 14: What?
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:23
  Speaker 5: It's 2016.
• 49:24
  Speaker 13: Oh, gosh.
• 49:25
  Speaker 6: I forgot about that.
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: Did she really?
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 49:29
  Speaker 9: I remember.
• 49:29
  Speaker 6: How old was she?
• 49:31
  Speaker 5: 57.
• 49:32
  Speaker 14: Wow.
• 49:34
  Speaker 6: That's crazy. I don't remember that. I mean, I do,
• 49:36
  Speaker 6: but I vaguely remember it, but I don't think it was.
• 49:39
  Speaker 6: That's crazy.
• 49:40
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to figure out how. She suffered from sclerosis.
• 49:50
  Speaker 4: Sclerosis?
• 49:51
  Speaker 5: No, it looks close.
• 49:52
  Speaker 6: Where is it I'm looking for? Sclerosis? Multiple sclerosis? Sclerosis
• 50:00
  Speaker 6: encapsulating peritontis?
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: This sounds technical. Just don't get it. That's your best bet.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: Well, she was cute, so she had that going for her.
• 50:15
  Speaker 6: But yeah, that was kind of that awkward, the whole
• 50:20
  Speaker 6: stage where she's trying to get it on with Uncle
• 50:25
  Speaker 6: Jesse and he's trying to play hard to get.
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: Which is really funny.
• 50:30
  Speaker 6: It's funny, but it's stupid because what high school or
• 50:34
  Speaker 6: college kid is going to be like, yeah, I'm not
• 50:37
  Speaker 6: going to have sex with you because you're super hot.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: I'm going to go drink my Perrier and eat some apples.
• 50:43
  Speaker 12: Eat some apples.
• 50:44
  Speaker 4: Okay. It was like almost to the point of like,
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: are they just trying to be silly at this point?
• 50:51
  Speaker 4: Because it was some aggressive apple eating. Yeah. It was
• 50:54
  Speaker 4: just like, I'm going to do to this apple what
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to do to you.
• 50:59
  Speaker 12: I'm going to go get some Perrier. I'll be right back.
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: Like, come on, Perrier.
• 51:03
  Speaker 12: Did he get two apples?
• 51:04
  Speaker 14: Yes.
• 51:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:05
  Speaker 12: That's right.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: But he threw the other one aside because then he
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: realized she was hosing herself down topless at that point.
• 51:10
  Speaker 6: With a water hose.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: All I could think of was how that water would
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: taste out of the water. Because they have that specific taste.
• 51:16
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: When you're a kid, you have to drink out of
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: the fucking water hose.
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 51:19
  Speaker 5: You know the taste.
• 51:20
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: Kids today don't fucking know the taste of water out
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: of a water hose.
• 51:24
  Speaker 6: No, it's got that hot vinyl taste.
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: Slightly metallic taste.
• 51:28
  Speaker 6: Slightly metallic taste to it. You know that damn garden
• 51:31
  Speaker 6: hose has been sitting in the sun all fucking day.
• 51:34
  Speaker 6: And you turn it on and that water is blazing
• 51:36
  Speaker 6: fucking hot.
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: You gotta let it run. You gotta let it run.
• 51:42
  Speaker 6: You always get that one fucking kid that's too stupid.
• 51:44
  Speaker 4: I need a drink right now. Here, you drink first.
• 51:47
  Speaker 12: And you turn it on and they're like, ah, hot, ah, hot.
• 51:53
  Speaker 5: And apparently it was kidney failure. That's what took her.
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, wow. Rest in peace.
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: Due to kidney problems from her 10-year crack cocaine addiction.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: That doesn't help things either. Also, don't do crack.
• 52:03
  Speaker 5: Don't do crack, kids.
• 52:04
  Speaker 6: Jeez.
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: Public service announcement.
• 52:07
  Speaker 12: I'm glad I never did crack cocaine.
• 52:09
  Speaker 5: Me too.
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: I mean, it would explain some things, but nope, that's
• 52:14
  Speaker 4: not what happened, kids. Just hitting the head a lot.
• 52:16
  Speaker 6: Just hitting the head.
• 52:17
  Speaker 4: A lot, yep.
• 52:18
  Speaker 5: If you'd quit snoring.
• 52:19
  Speaker 13: So.
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: Then we get to our super hot love scene with
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: that wonderful music.
• 52:30
  Speaker 5: Holy shit, dude. You can only roll over a bed
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: so many times before you just hit the fucking floor.
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: It was not a big bed either. For one that
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: was also like a portal into another level of the house,
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: it wasn't a very big bed. There's only so much
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: action you're going to get without rolling off the side.
• 52:44
  Speaker 6: Take off your shoes.
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: No, I think you left those bad boys on. You
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: left those cool white sneakers on because he's super cool.
• 52:52
  Speaker 6: Got to be ready for action.
• 52:54
  Speaker 5: Just constantly showed them rolling over and over and over.
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: And it was always like the same direction.
• 52:58
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: So it's not like they were rolling over and then
• 52:59
  Speaker 5: rolling back. They just kept rolling to the left. You're
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: going to fall off the fucking bed.
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: Well, I will give you credit, Jay, because you did,
• 53:06
  Speaker 4: as the music kicked in, you did say, is John's
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: chest in the corner? Which is pretty accurate.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: They're cheesy music.
• 53:17
  Speaker 6: They've got, yeah, they've got the love sacks going on
• 53:21
  Speaker 6: in the background.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Because.
• 53:23
  Speaker 6: I guess, you know, the saxophone, that was the music
• 53:28
  Speaker 6: in the 80s.
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: I mean, there was a whole new level. Like, you
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: used the saxophone in, like, rock music all the way
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: up from, like, the 50s on. But, like, it hit
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: a new plateau in the 80s.
• 53:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the 80s.
• 53:41
  Speaker 5: Timmy Capella was awesome.
• 53:43
  Speaker 6: That was the fucking music instrument.
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: Well, and even, yeah, like, again, the same era, the St.
• 53:49
  Speaker 4: Elmo's Fire era. You don't have super hot young Rob
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: Lowe playing a guitar. He's playing a saxophone in that movie.
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: That's a weird thing. That's the way they chose because
• 54:02
  Speaker 4: it was the 80s and the saxophone was super hot.
• 54:04
  Speaker 6: That's how Bill Clinton became president.
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: It kind of is, actually.
• 54:10
  Speaker 12: They were like, do we want him or do we
• 54:12
  Speaker 12: want the other guy? Holy shit, he can play a saxophone.
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: He talks about his underwear and he'll play a saxophone
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: on our show for us. Arsenio made him president. Oh, Lord.
• 54:25
  Speaker 6: You know, at the beginning of the film, and we're
• 54:28
  Speaker 6: going to go all the way back to the beginning.
• 54:30
  Speaker 5: Rewind.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: The very impressive film.
• 54:32
  Speaker 6: I'm just excited that he has his own theme music.
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: We can just address the music overall, because his theme song...
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: It has his name in it. It's long, first of all.
• 54:47
  Speaker 12: Yeah, it's really long.
• 54:48
  Speaker 5: The whole song that plays while he repeatedly bounces on
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: his trampoline.
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: Doesn't do anything else. Just bounces up and down in
• 54:54
  Speaker 4: his bouncy castle.
• 54:55
  Speaker 5: And then cuts to his stunt double.
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 54:57
  Speaker 5: And the fact that he had to train to jump
• 54:59
  Speaker 5: on that trampoline.
• 55:01
  Speaker 6: But they do use the song later on in the
• 55:03
  Speaker 6: action scenes without the lyrics. They just have the.
• 55:06
  Speaker 5: Oh, did they?
• 55:06
  Speaker 12: Yeah, you weren't paying attention.
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: I was not.
• 55:08
  Speaker 6: They did have it. Yeah, it was just kind of
• 55:11
  Speaker 6: the synthesizer version of it. With no lyrics.
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: All of the music is just so bad.
• 55:18
  Speaker 5: Speaking of lyrics, I had another... I had another... Apparently,
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: Gene Simmons recycled some of the lyrics from his scene
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: into one of his later albums.
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: I'm not surprised. He's kind of a hack.
• 55:31
  Speaker 5: Like the scene where he was singing in the club?
• 55:34
  Speaker 14: Yeah.
• 55:34
  Speaker 5: He used that in one of his other... Like on
• 55:38
  Speaker 5: one of his albums.
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: Now why are you going to badmouth this thing and
• 55:41
  Speaker 4: then turn around and steal from it? Come on, Gene.
• 55:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he talks about how it's the worst thing and
• 55:46
  Speaker 5: he's awful in it. But then, I'm trying to figure out,
• 55:50
  Speaker 5: I'm going back to the IMDB for the trivia section.
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: They should make it a little bit easier to get to.
• 55:56
  Speaker 6: Maybe he's secretly bad-mouthing it because he hopes it will
• 56:00
  Speaker 6: become a.
• 56:03
  Speaker 4: He wants it to be the new Rocky.
• 56:05
  Speaker 12: Yeah, something like that.
• 56:07
  Speaker 5: Well, I think John Stamos made the quote that it
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: was supposed to be the next midnight movie. But see,
• 56:11
  Speaker 5: some of the lyrics from Simmons' nightclub act scene would
• 56:15
  Speaker 5: later show up in Spit, a song from the 1992
• 56:18
  Speaker 5: Kiss album, Revenge.
• 56:20
  Speaker 4: This is why you don't make an album with Gene Simmons.
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: He had to shave and wax his chest for this role.
• 56:29
  Speaker 6: Oh, that was another thing you get to see in
• 56:31
  Speaker 6: this movie.
• 56:32
  Speaker 12: You can see Stamels bite his nipple.
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: But John was like, whoa! He's like, ah!
• 56:38
  Speaker 12: You were like, this is not the nudity I wanted
• 56:40
  Speaker 12: to see.
• 56:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we were requesting it when we saw it was
• 56:43
  Speaker 4: rated R, but I was hoping it was vanity.
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: When we saw a little bit of vanity.
• 56:46
  Speaker 4: A little bit. We got a little side boob. But
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: other than that, it was mostly, you get a shirtless John,
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: and then you get way too much of Gene Simmons'
• 56:56
  Speaker 4: chest area.
• 56:57
  Speaker 5: He had wax and shave.
• 56:59
  Speaker 4: Well, you've seen him. He's a hairy dude. Not talking
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: about the bad wig, but yeah, just he's a hairy dude.
• 57:06
  Speaker 5: This movie was stuck in obscurity for at least 20 years,
• 57:10
  Speaker 5: and VHS copies were very hard to find. In 2007,
• 57:13
  Speaker 5: Shout Factory bought the rights to it and gave it
• 57:15
  Speaker 5: new life, releasing it on Blu-ray and Prime Video. So
• 57:19
  Speaker 5: you can get this on Blu-ray.
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: I guess we know what we're going to go run
• 57:22
  Speaker 4: out and get now.
• 57:23
  Speaker 5: We already watched it. But we could probably get more
• 57:27
  Speaker 5: high def of Gene Simmons.
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: It's already a little too high def. It was disturbing looking.
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: You've got a new TV here and it looks a little,
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: as I said in the beginning, it looks, even the
• 57:38
  Speaker 4: intro just looks like a bad TV show.
• 57:41
  Speaker 12: The credits are TV font.
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: Everything, yeah. Everything feels like it's a bad TV show.
• 57:45
  Speaker 5: It's like guest starring.
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, guest starring. But on top of that, it made
• 57:52
  Speaker 4: everything also look cheesier. So when we go to our
• 57:55
  Speaker 4: cheesy sets that are like leftovers from an old castle movie,
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: it just looks like that. Somehow it looks even. And
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: the crowd scenes, like, you just, you can see up
• 58:06
  Speaker 4: close and detailed how distracted and bored all these extras
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: are that are just like, what are we doing now?
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 58:14
  Speaker 4: You get several.
• 58:15
  Speaker 5: It's time to eat.
• 58:17
  Speaker 4: They gave us hot dogs today.
• 58:19
  Speaker 5: Where's the catering service?
• 58:22
  Speaker 4: So, yeah, if you want to entertain yourself, pick a
• 58:26
  Speaker 4: few different people in those crowd scenes and watch them,
• 58:29
  Speaker 4: because there's some that are just like.
• 58:30
  Speaker 12: What are we doing?
• 58:31
  Speaker 5: I'm still disappointed she wasn't really handing out muffins.
• 58:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was pretty excited when I thought, you're like,
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: we get all of this and muffins?
• 58:41
  Speaker 5: She's carrying around a muffin tray, and then you realize
• 58:43
  Speaker 5: it's just got pills in it.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: Ugh, drugs.
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: Lame.
• 58:46
  Speaker 5: Depends on what kind of muffins it'd be, though.
• 58:48
  Speaker 6: That's the part where Simmons flies back. Actually, after he
• 58:51
  Speaker 6: does the big reveal that he's actually the dime store
• 58:56
  Speaker 6: Chuck Norris and steals a helicopter and kidnaps Uncle Jesse.
• 59:01
  Speaker 5: No, the muffins were way earlier than that.
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: No, they weren't.
• 59:03
  Speaker 6: No, they weren't.
• 59:03
  Speaker 4: No, it was that last scene. It was the end scene, yeah.
• 59:05
  Speaker 6: They fly in, and he's like, he's like, ah.
• 59:10
  Speaker 4: he's back he's.
• 59:10
  Speaker 6: Coming in and they're like yay and they're all the
• 59:13
  Speaker 6: all the the punk post-apocalyptic the.
• 59:17
  Speaker 4: Mixture of punk kids and road warriors extras.
• 59:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah they're just all dancing around and they're like yay
• 59:23
  Speaker 6: they're running riding their motorcycles around in a circle and
• 59:27
  Speaker 6: the This lady, I was like, is she carrying a
• 59:29
  Speaker 6: fucking muffin pan?
• 59:31
  Speaker 5: And she was.
• 59:32
  Speaker 4: Now I do want to join your cult. I didn't
• 59:34
  Speaker 4: know we got muffins.
• 59:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but then it turns out it's just a muffin
• 59:37
  Speaker 6: pan full of pills.
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: It depends on what kind of muffins. Is it like
• 59:39
  Speaker 5: banana nut? Because I'm like, ew, I don't like this.
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: I like banana nut.
• 59:42
  Speaker 4: What if they bake the drugs into the muffins? That
• 59:45
  Speaker 4: would be two for one. But that's when we get our, again,
• 59:49
  Speaker 4: continuing our wonderful music. Once we get to the action
• 59:52
  Speaker 4: scene at the end there, we get that Casio soundtrack.
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: They hit the demo mode and it's something special.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 5: Something to behold. Be held in.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: To be turned off. But yeah, that's after we get
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: our little fight scene with Uncle Jesse. When he pulls
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 4: his I'm a macho man. One-on-one with you, Ben Stiller.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 5: He throws some insults at the pyramid and gets them
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 5: all riled up.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 4: And then doesn't even fight him, just steals a gun
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 4: and shoots him immediately. That's what he does.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: He gets them all distracted.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 12: They don't have a lot of.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 6: Continuity with the firearms in this movie. And I'm not
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 6: so much even on the, hey, he shot 15 times
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 6: when that pistol only held 10 rounds or anything like that.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: That's too technical.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 12: That's too technical. And I do do that because I.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 7: I know.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 6: They're really into that.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 12: But what, you know.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 6: Sometimes they're holding the same rifle and in the next
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 6: scene they're holding a different rifle. And then they switch
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 6: back to holding the same rifle and then they switch
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 6: back to a different rifle.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, not like another scene later when they're running across
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 4: there and from one shot to the next they cut
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 4: and suddenly they're holding a different rifle.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 12: Yeah, I was like, wait a minute.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 4: A gun's a gun just keep running.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 6: It's fine shoot that guy and then show a close
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 6: up of him and then switch back to shooting him
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 6: with a different rifle.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 4: Probably because that was like weeks later when they shot
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 4: that other scene and they didn't even have those guns anymore.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah probably they were like I gotta take these back
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 6: to the rental company she was.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 4: Holding a rifle like gun right close enough good enough
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 4: just give her this you're good just keep.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 5: Running we didn't stick to our segment of what's the
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 5: proper use of the torch.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 15: Oh, well.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 4: We did have that early on. I was like, ooh,
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 4: I can ask more torch questions, but.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well, I think he was cutting, he was cutting.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 5: Was he cutting something?
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 12: Yeah, he was cutting the grating. They were trying to.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 6: Get in that little chute hole thing, whatever. And it
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 6: had a rebar that was crossed, that was covering it up.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 6: So he was cutting the rebar. So yeah, he was
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 6: kind of actually doing the right thing at that point.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 6: it was just funny that the guy was going to
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 6: shoot him, and he whips around and burns the guy.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 12: Did he shoot him in the crotch area? Yeah, he
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 12: shot him in the leg.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 5: No, I mean with the fire.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah, he shot him. Yeah, dime store Chuck Norris.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 6: He hits him in the crotch.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 4: There's all kinds of stuff there. Don't be messing with
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 4: that area.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 4: As we are told, there's plenty going on down there.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 6: And he ran away.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 4: Well, while we're on.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 4: How about his sidekick building his, like... You'd think he'd
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: just build, like, a badass flamethrower.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 6: No.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 4: But no, no. It shoots, like, fireballs.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 12: He said it was a laser flamethrower.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: Half of the time, they're dud fireballs.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 12: Yeah, they just kind of fall out on the ground.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 4: And they just fall on the ground. That's an odd... Again,
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: if you're going to be Q, you're going to have
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: to be a little better. It was weird.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 6: It was like a rocket launcher that shot flaming, exploding...
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 6: Balls of fire.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: Weird.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 4: Well, once again, they really set it up like that
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 4: was his thing.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 4: Because he also gives him the tracking bubble gum.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: Which never gets made use of properly. We see him
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: use it once with her and he never does anything
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: with it.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 14: No.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 4: And then we see him use it with Gene Simmons
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 4: and then he immediately gets busted.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: Because Gene Simmons has it.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 6: Well, that one's the one that he's got with Gene
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 6: Simmons is a different one because that one's got a
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 6: microphone in it.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 4: That was the bug. But yeah, hers was supposed to
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 4: be the tracking one, I guess. But we never saw
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: him like, Figuring out where she was. She just kept
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: finding him.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 5: And how he tracked her down to where she ended
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 5: up in the cool scene where she went underneath the car.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 12: Yeah, that's how he tracked her.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 6: But it doesn't show him actually looking on a screen
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 6: and tracking her. Which I thought is what he was
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 6: going to do. If you're going to.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: Bother to do that dumb scene of him putting her
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 4: in a car.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 5: Maybe he had his Asian friend tracking her and him
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 5: telling her where.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 12: Well, then they should have cut to that scene.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 5: Not everything had to make it in the movie.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 6: It has to. It doesn't make any sense. Why place
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 6: a tracker on there if you're not going to have
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 6: the scene of him looking at a screen showing a.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 4: Little beep, beep, beep.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 5: That's what we're going to question.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: Beep, beep, yeah. It should have been on his watch.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 4: If we're on that scene, I ask the question, why
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 4: did she drive under a truck other than to look
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 4: like a badass? Because she was super calm as she
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: did it.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 12: Why not?
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: Because we knew she was going to.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 4: What did she accomplish?
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 6: Nothing.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 4: No, she just looked cool. I mean, it was for
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 4: movie purposes. Like, isn't that cool? Yeah, but I mean...
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 4: Who else did that?
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 12: Did they do that in Smoking the Bandit?
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like they did.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 6: They had to have done it in Smoking the Bandit.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: And when the Griswolds did it one time. Anybody that's
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 4: driving a car, eventually, I'm sure Bond's done it at
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: some point. You have to drive underneath a giant semi.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you now, boyfriend, do not drive any of
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 5: your cars.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 4: Next road trip you're on, you'll be like, hey, hey,
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 4: look at that truck.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think the Corolla's the only one that's low
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 6: enough to do that.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 12: Yeah, it would.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 5: It's like a go-kart.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 4: We'll play this back as evidence later at some point.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 5: We'll be so angry at you. What about Robert Englund?
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 5: How have we not really talked about Robert Englund yet?
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 12: Because he didn't have much of a role in this.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 4: He doesn't have much to do, but I really think
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 4: at this point we need to sit down with him
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 4: and we'll be like, screw all that Freddy talk. We've
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 4: heard a lot of you talking about Freddy over the years.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 4: Let's talk about this movie, Robert Englund.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 5: I want to know what exactly was the motivation for
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: him to poison.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 6: He was going to blackmail him out of money.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 5: But he said he was going to poison him forever
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 5: and ever, so it seemed like there wasn't really.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. By the time
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 4: we got it, I was like, wait, what is your
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 4: plan again?
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 12: Because.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 4: In the beginning, it's threatening them so that he can
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 4: blackmail them and get money and jewels and diamonds or whatever.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 4: Whatever the handful of words I could make out in
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 4: the nonsense in the beginning.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 6: Diamonds and jewels!
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 4: The rest of it was just cursing and nonsense. Turnballs! Eventually,
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 4: he got the money and jewels or whatever. But I'm like, okay,
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: well that at least is a motivation. Money, I get that.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 4: Especially for Gene Simmons.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 4: More than anyone in the world, Gene Simmons loves him
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: some money. So, that aside, but then by the time
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 4: you get to the end, they're just gonna poison the water.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 4: You're not, how are you gonna get money if you
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 4: already killed a whole bunch of people? I think at
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 4: that point, you're supposed to use that as leverage.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 12: I think at that point, he didn't care.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 4: He didn't care, he just wanted to poison people.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 12: He was already done.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 4: This is a bad plan. Because even then, if they
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 4: were setting up as like, oh, I just want to
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 4: murder all these people for revenge or something, like, Okay,
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 4: set that up as your plot. But like, he just
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 4: didn't really commit to either version of it. And now
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 4: it's just sort of a mess.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 6: Until the end. Until the end when he just, you know.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 6: I win!
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: That's once again, fully committed. Yeah. Him or his body
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 4: double that was running along there. Because by the end,
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 4: there was like when they're doing the hanging over the edge.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 4: You look at the guy that's standing up there as
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 4: Gene Simmons. And as bad as his hair is. The
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 4: wig that guy is wearing is way worse, and he's
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 4: way bigger. He was way burlier than Gene Simmons. So yeah,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 4: there was the bad cutting with that, and the bad
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 4: cutting with the guy in the John Stamos wig that
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 4: was trying not to fall off the side of the dam. Yeah,
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 4: there was a lot of body double action in this movie.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 5: And I'm trying to figure out how, spoiler alert, destroying
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 5: the bomb thing, where it detonates, How did that stop it?
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: As I said, I don't think they know how computer
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 4: disks work. I don't think they understand how remote triggers work.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 4: Or poison at this point.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 5: How does him throwing the detonator and then throwing his
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 5: buddy's rocket launcher laser bullshit shenanigans at the thing and
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 5: as they collide in the air exploding.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 6: Well, here's the other thing that makes you question it, too,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 6: is why are the sewer lines running into the drinking
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 6: water supply?
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 4: That's how that works, right?
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 14: Pipes.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 4: It's all pipes.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 12: It's all pipes. Just open it up. We don't know
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 12: how it works.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 6: Computer programs are going to open it up.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 4: I have a disc. This disc can uncode and trigger
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 4: a thing. Have you ever used a disc? Yeah.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 12: We've got the magnetic disc.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 4: And this weird little floppy disc that would hold a
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: few images. I had those. They didn't hold shit in there. No,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 4: they didn't. You're not going to have a program on there.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 6: They didn't even hold a gig.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 4: Did they?
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 5: They didn't even hold like a megabyte.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 4: No, yeah, that's right.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 12: They didn't hold a megabyte at all.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 4: Nothing on this little disc. Somewhere in a box, I
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 4: still have some of those.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 5: I put a couple bites on there.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 4: Usually it's just dumb pictures of celebrities or something, and
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 4: it would be filled. I'd be like, oh, man, I've
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 4: got to get another one.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 5: You have all those Photoshopped images of Christina Aguilera's head
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 5: on naked bodies.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 4: Some of them, at least one, was also of Alicia
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 4: Silverstone in the halfway in the Batgirl year.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 5: I remember that.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 4: That one was a classic, and I have that on
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 4: a disc somewhere. I was like, well, I can't not
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 4: save this. I took an hour and a half to
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 4: get it to upload on my dial-up.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 5: I'll go pick up the phone. Halfway through, somebody called.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 5: Damn it.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 4: Trying to download porn. Come on. Let me download my
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 4: porn in peace.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 12: Back in our days, we had to work for our porn.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I don't think they know how a disc works.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 4: I don't think if you've got this whole process going
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 4: and about to unleash... Poo water? Poison? I don't even... Again,
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 4: I don't even know what the plan was. How are
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 4: you going to poison water? Like, you said poison the
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 4: water supply. I get that. Kill them for years and
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 4: years or whatever.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 12: But then he says, like, toxic waste. And I'm like,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 12: why is toxic waste plumbed into the water supply?
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 4: I don't understand this. And then, like, we see him
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 4: start the little program. And then some sort of pistons
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 4: are working. And, like, it's going to unleash this.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah, they're going to mix.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 4: Like, why would you have a big tank full of
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 4: poison sitting in this water supply? Waiting to be unleashed
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 4: on your water. Like, did they go build this?
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 14: Yeah.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 4: Or, like, it doesn't make any sense.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 6: I sure hope no villains accidentally get a hold of
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 6: a special disc and unleash it.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 4: I'm not sure why we put all this poison here
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 4: next to the water supply. Well, we put a divider
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 4: in here and some piston arms, so it probably won't
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 4: get mixed together.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: Nope.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 4: Oh, but damn, there it goes. Whoa, they started a
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 4: program with a disc.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 5: Shit. And it seems like it would have hit zero
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 5: by the time he threw it up in the air anyways.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 4: And that was my issue with that. I'm like, that's
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 4: not how physics works. Because he doesn't throw them at
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 4: the same time.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 9: Nope.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 4: He throws one. Turns around, gets the other. I'm like, okay,
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 4: so now that one's on the ground.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 5: Maybe if he threw it up and then threw the
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 5: other one in.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 4: What, is he a gymnast? I don't think he's got
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 4: those kind of muscles to be able to get it
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 4: up high enough that by the time he turned around
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 4: and got the gun, threw that up in the air
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 4: to then have them meet at exactly the right moment.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 6: Why don't you just take the gun and smash the computer?
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 5: It was a magnetic disc. It pulled the gun, too.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, those magnets in there are pretty hardcore. I don't
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 4: think they're quite up to the level of a refrigerator magnet,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 4: but they're pretty powerful.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 5: Oh, God.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 6: This movie.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 5: Is there anything we haven't seen?
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 4: This movie.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 4: I've seen a lot of crazy shit, but I'm glad
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 4: to add this movie into the mix, because.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 5: Thank you, boyfriend.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think my ridiculous movie collection in my
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 4: head would be complete without this.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 5: And now whenever you see a garden hose.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 6: I wonder if Vanity touched that one.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 5: Whenever she seductively maneuvered about in her sharewater hose.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: And then took a drink.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 4: While somebody eating an apple stared at her. Like, tell
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 4: me that wouldn't be, even if you're, which again is
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 4: ridiculous enough that Superhot Vanity is trying to seduce this
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 4: guy who's pretending to not want anything to do with her. But.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 5: The fact that he got through at least an entire apple.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 12: And an entire ball of Perrier.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 4: If a guy just stood there and stared at you
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 4: intensely while eating an apple, wouldn't you be creeped out
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 4: and not want anything to do with him? Let alone
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 4: about to go sleep with him in the next room.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 5: Or roll about over and over again.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 4: And I really kind of wanted, and maybe this was
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 4: just me being the sick bastard that I am, but
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 4: as they got into it there on the bed, I
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 4: wanted her to whisper, you kiss like your dad. No! Because,
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 4: I mean, they made it pretty clear that's what was
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 4: going on with her and dad, right? No, because she told...
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 4: She never said that, but.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 6: She says, because he said, when he's looking at the
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 6: pictures of his dad with all his girlfriends.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 4: You're not here. You're not in these.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 12: And she's like, I wasn't one of his playthings.
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 4: And then she goes into this helping her family thing.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 4: So I kept waiting for... her to give us the
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 4: big reveal of, like, well, we were never involved like that.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 4: He was just super special, and he saved my family. And, like,
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 4: I was waiting for the other half of that little setup,
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 4: and they never did. So I was like, well, now
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 4: did you just screw his dad? Like, what's going on?
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 4: Why set that up if you're not going to finish
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 4: the story? I would expect more from the fine writing
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 4: of this film.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 5: You mean somebody actually wrote this, and it wasn't just
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 5: thrown together on the floor?
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 4: On a napkin, sure.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 14: Yeah.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 4: Explosions. Dude dressed up.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 5: Naked Vanity.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 4: Naked Vanity. Gene Simmons getting his boob bitten. Can't afford
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 4: Tim Curry. Who can we get? Question mark?
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 4: Oh, God. Well, then they ride their post-apocalyptic dune buggy
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 4: off into the sunset.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 5: Oh, but then they come back.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 4: Once and then twice. Because they have to circle back
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 4: to pick up Vanity, which.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 8: You would.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, come on now.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 5: Because I did intend for this to be a series
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 5: of movies, so I could understand there. Because first he's like,
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 5: oh no, I don't want this life. I want to
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 5: go back to my school.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 6: She's like, can you sit through Biology 101 after all this?
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 5: High school biology, apparently.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 6: Which is.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 4: If that's the story, how old's Vanity supposed to be?
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 4: Why is she hooking up with this potential high school kid?
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 4: But if he's not, if he's taking biology 101, he's
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 4: at least a freshman.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 5: She's been hanging out. How long was she hanging out
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 5: with her dad? His dad.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. I was like, did she know him? Like,
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 4: was she hanging around when he was a kid? Like,
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 4: going on special missions with dad and be like, look
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 4: at little John Cena.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 5: How old was... I'm going to have to look up
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 5: and see how old Vanity was at this movie.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 4: She probably really was no different. Because, yeah, you said
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 4: Stamos was like 24 or 25. She probably wasn't any
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 4: older than that. But it's just funny the way they
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 4: play it. Like, she's a grown-up and he's a dumb
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 4: school kid.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 5: She was born in 59, so math that up for me.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 4: Math.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 5: What year did we say that? It came out in 86.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 5: So if we say she was born in 60, that
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 5: would make her 26. 27?
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 4: 27.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 5: I got there first.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 4: She can totally hook up with a 19-year-old at best.
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 4: Fine with me.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 5: What the fuck movie is this from?
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 6: I don't know, but it looks pretty weird.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 4: So we're putting that on the list.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 8: Is that the.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 5: Tanya's Island? Tanya's Island?
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 4: It looks like the Country Bear Jamboree.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 6: Adult version.
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 5: Now I'm curious about Tanya. A female model faces off
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 5: against an ape on a tropical island. It didn't look
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 5: like she was facing off.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 4: She's not even face to face, actually. So the other thing,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 4: as we were going through trying to find this movie
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 4: on the listing there, don't think I didn't notice you
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 4: eyeballing that other super cool John Stamos movie. Yeah, I know.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 4: So now we're going to have to watch that one
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 4: where he's a biker dude. Yeah.
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 6: I don't remember the name of that one.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 4: I don't know. John Stamos gets a bike or something.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 4: Something streets. Streets of John Stamos.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 6: Never too young to ride a bike.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 4: Uncle Jesse gets a bike. I don't know. Something like that.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 5: They were riding a bicycle early on in the movie.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 5: Around the campus of the high school slash college.
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 6: Oh, that's right.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 7: Will you see that beautiful drinking water on its way
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 7: to millions of homes? Well, in a little while it'll
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 7: still be on its way, but this time glowing and contaminated.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 4: Not if I get up a clown.
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 7: Lads can't you see the greatness in me i'm female
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 7: and male man and woman i'm better than you are.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 9: Yeah but don't you understand something you're only half of.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 4: Each i'm a whole man so if you excuse me
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 4: i don't have a lot of time here i gotta
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 4: save the world all right well if we addressed all
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 4: the things i think I don't think, really, we've scratched
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 4: the surface, but we've given a nice overview of the
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: insanity that we just witnessed.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 6: That's pretty crazy. I'm actually, like, pleased with this movie.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's that level of crazy that I'm just,
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 4: like I said, I'm glad to have seen it now.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 6: Well, when I saw the trailer, I thought it was
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 6: just a John Stamos is a super spy with vanity
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 6: and blah, blah, blah.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 4: I didn't even know he was a spy. I thought
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 4: it was just going to be, like, again, like, biker
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 4: gang drama or some sort of.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 6: Action bullshit but but it's it's so just weird it's
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 6: actually entertaining.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 4: It's definitely weird and a mixture of several things at
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 4: the time that were like this is popular and this
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 4: is popular and this guy from General Hospital will make
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 4: him on this. What was that band this guy was in?
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 4: I don't know, put him in there too. It's just
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 4: such a conglomeration of crap from the 80s. It's like, here,
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 4: and it's a movie?
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 2: Alright.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 4: I think we need to rest after this.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 5: I don't know, I'm reading the description of Tanya's Island
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 5: and I am like, I don't even know where to
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 5: go with this.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 4: We're adding it to the list is what you're saying.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 4: You want me to give you.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 5: The plot synopsis from the Wikipedia?
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 4: All right, but we're going to have to start writing
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 4: all these down. We've got a lot to watch.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 5: Is it Tanya or Tanya? T-A-N-Y-A. Is it Tanya or Tanya?
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: Tanya.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 4: I would say Tanya because you'd have an O if
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 4: it was Tanya, but I think they get fancy and
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 4: pronounce it whatever way they want.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 5: She's a female model who lives with her boyfriend Lobo.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 5: a surrealistic painter who is extremely violent. Subjected to Lobo's
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 5: constant abuse, Tanya dreams of escaping to a desert island,
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 5: and her dream comes true. The only other person on
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 5: her island is an enormous blue-eyed man-ape, played by Don
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 5: McLeod and voiced by Donnie Burns, who emerged from one
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 5: of Lobo's paintings. Tanya befriends the beast and nicknames him Blue.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 5: Soon she begins to feel a strange attraction to the creature.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 5: which makes Lobo increasingly jealous in the real world. He
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 5: becomes determined to capture the man-ape and put it.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 13: In a cage.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 4: So, we're definitely watching this is what you're saying.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 5: I have no idea what level of weird we're going for.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 6: I don't know, that sounds pretty weird.
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 4: And that's coming from just watching this movie. That's pretty bad.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 4: If this has crossed the line into too weird after
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 4: this movie.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 5: Alright, I think I'm done now.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. I think we've said all we
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 4: have to say on this one.
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 5: Do you have any other comments on your.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 4: Your most favoritest movie.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 5: Your successful choice in film.
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 6: I kind of wish I had the movie poster for it.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 5: I don't know. You haven't seen some of the posters.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there's the one sheet and then there's the VHS.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 4: They doctored it up pretty differently on the old VHS covers.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 6: Is there no good posters of it?
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 4: And then there's that artwork that was on. What was
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 4: that bullshit that was on the screen? I don't know.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 4: I don't know where they got that doctored nonsense.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 5: What the fuck is this shit?
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 12: Yeah, I don't like that artwork. That artwork's not cool.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 4: That doesn't do justice to the movie.
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 6: You look like Gene Simmons. Are you sure that didn't
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 6: come out of India?
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 5: Is it painted on a banner?
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 12: Is it painted on a wall somewhere?
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 5: He's unofficial. He's unlicensed. He's afraid, and he's under 18.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 4: Well, that makes it even more creepy, Vanity.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 12: Okay.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 6: Yikes.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 5: I guess it was in pre-production. This was like the
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 5: early on concept art.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 6: Before they could get anybody's face.
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 4: They were just like, don't use anybody. We can't pay
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 4: for likeness rights if you get the wrong person.
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 6: Just paint something.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 4: Just generic them up.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 5: You want this one.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 6: It's like Charlie Brown.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 12: That one's cool. What does that say?
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 4: I can't even read it.
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 5: It's in a different language.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 6: Oh, okay. That's why.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 4: No wonder. I just thought I forgot how to read.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 6: Oh, it was really far off. Oh, okay.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 5: Is it Russian?
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 6: I can't see it. I don't have my glasses on.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 5: If you had your glasses on, could you read in
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 5: a different language?
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 6: You don't know.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 12: They were really good glasses. Special glasses.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 5: Spy glasses.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 4: Spy glasses that that weird Q guy made.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 6: Never too young to die.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 12: Yeah, I like that one.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 6: That was a cool one.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 4: That's the one I remember. That was the VHS cover
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 4: that I saw a million times and somehow didn't end
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 4: up picking it up to watch this. Because, look, the glowing.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 5: There's the laser disc.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 4: See, I was right, though.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 12: The laser disc doesn't look as cool as the other
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 12: one does.
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 4: I was right, though. It's all John Stamos and Vanity.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 4: They totally hide the Gene Simmons part.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 5: Except for on this one.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 6: That one doesn't look as good, either, because Gene Simmons
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 6: just looks like a bad crow.
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 5: I like that the production company that put it out
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 5: was Lance Entertainment, and I wonder if that had anything
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 5: to do with, like.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 4: I'll produce your movie, but you gotta name him Lance.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 4: A really cool name, like Lance.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 12: Okay, weirdo, whatever.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 4: Just give us lots of money. Otherwise, that about does it.
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 4: We will return next time, probably with another disturbing movie.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 6: Hell yeah, we will.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 4: Yay. Same Geek Feed. Thanks for listening.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 6: Bye.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 14: I was made for loving you, baby You were made
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 14: for loving me I can't get enough for you, baby
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 14: Can you get enough for me? Tonight I wanna see
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 14: it in your eyes.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 4: Feel the magic.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 14: There's something that drives me wild Tonight.
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 4: We're going to make it all come true. Cause you
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 4: were made for me. I was made for you.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 14: I was made for loving you, baby.
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 2: You were made.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 14: For loving me. I was made for loving you, baby.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 14: You were made for loving me.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 12: That's hot.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 5: Some wild ape man loving apparently goes on.
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 4: Super hot.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 12: What do you mean bestiality is illegal?
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 5: It's a movie.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 4: It's fake bestiality.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 6: I was just thinking about somebody I knew one time
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 6: that was thoroughly shocked that bestiality was illegal.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 4: I think I remember this story. I think I've tried
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 4: to put it out of my head.
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 12: What do you mean bestiality is illegal?
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 5: He's like feeling her up with his big mayonnaise pans.
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah. I mean, it's vanity. That's what you do.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 5: As long as she's into it, it's cool. Where her
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 5: wildest fantasies turn to terror.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 8: This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 8: edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 8: The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 8: the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 4: Talk hard! This program is a proud member of the
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 4: Battleship Pretension Fleet.