Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Unpacking the Myth of Falling Behind in Life

Transcript

Unpacking the Myth of Falling Behind in Life · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visation and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for taking some time out of your day to just be here with me.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And today I want to talk about something that weighs heavy on a lot of people.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's been something I've had to deal with.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: I work with all my clients or a lot of my clients on this.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the feeling or the thought of being behind in life, whether it be behind in one's career, behind in their love life, behind in their healing, behind in success, whatever that means right now when we're talking about success.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Even with the teenagers, it's feeling like some of them are behind in where they need to be to apply to college.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: For many of us, there's this thought that we're behind.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to talk about it.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: I want to just kind of discuss how really this could just be a limiting belief or a false narrative that we're, that we're, we've created or that we have adapted into our life.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then it holds us back from being able to move forward.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: So the first thing I want to get clear, oftentimes people say, like, I feel like I'm behind.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's not really a feeling.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's more of a thought.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it is either way that we look at it.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Ceiling thought, it's not born from actually failure.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, what I have found is it generally resides in comparison.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Somewhere along the way, uh, we have adapted a timeline and it's an invisible timeline.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, for many people, the invisible timeline sounds like you got to graduate by 22, your career's locked in by 25, you know, love somewhere in the 20s, but definitely by 30, success, house, family, happiness, all this straight polished line.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but what happens in real life?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, uh, at least I know my life has not been a straight line.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's rarely straight.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And even when you think you're on the trajectory of a straight line, guess what?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes there are twists and turns that you did not see coming because they were not part of your plan.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because life is rarely straight.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it is rarely exactly as you planned.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying it never is.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: There's definitely people who have had their plan their life, it's charted out and they have executed it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's amazing.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: But for a lot of people, there it's more of a squiggly line, it's a twist and turn, it's um a lot of healing.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: There's grief, there's breaking, there's starting again, pivoting, pausing, evolving.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's not, you know, step by step by step by step.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I really want you to hear, hear this when I say uh you're not behind.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: You are on your own timeline.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Your timeline is not broken, your timeline is not wrong.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: It is your timeline.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And where we get caught is when we forget that we have our own timeline and we are looking at other external timelines or we're looking at how other people are doing and living their life.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And somehow there's this comparison of where we're at.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Recently, I mean, I'm blessed for the people who work with me.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: I feel so uh blessed by it because I feel that they're trusting me with their most inner thoughts and their most um intimate goals that they have for themselves.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the clients that I was working with, um, you know, brilliant individual, uh loving individual, but a lot of times she'd come to our calls and somewhere through our discussions, there'd be some form of um I should be further along, or um I've wasted too much time in that relationship.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um oftentimes I would hear something to the effect of, you know, everyone else has it figured out.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I should, I should have this all figured out.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: And really underneath all of that was comparison.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because really what was going on was looking at where she was, and there was a comparison to what she was seeing.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times it was, you know, scrolling on Instagram or even on YouTube and following YouTube influencers who are around the same age, or looking up past classmates and seeing maybe where they were and what information was out there for them.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: And there was this comparison of, you know, maybe what the work they were doing or what relationship they were in, or just looking at the photos that they had online.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so there was that natural comparison.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So even though we were doing really deep work on healings and traumas and working on finding her voice and exploring the things that she really wanted, she kept kind of still feeling stuck.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: But it was almost as if she was thinking that the work that she was doing didn't count because somehow uh her social media postings were not matching up to what other people were posting about.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so eventually we we did the work and we got to this really deep place of you know, that that question.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that pivotal question of like, well, whose timeline are you measuring your life against?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I will share, she thought.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And she kind of just said, I don't, I don't even know.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really the truth.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, most of the time, the timeline we're chasing is not even ours.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: And we're not even aware.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: We're not even aware that we're doing this.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we just it's this, it's a it's an inner voice and a repeated, almost a repeated mantra that's happening.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you've got to be doing more.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're not doing enough, you're behind, other people are further ahead.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're feeling behind or any of those are resonating with you, I want to just offer a couple different ways that maybe you could start shifting that that belief that you're behind.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: The very first thing is to name the voice about whose voice is saying you're behind.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: And this is not with judgment, this is with curiosity.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: Is this coming from maybe a parent?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it was a message you received from a teacher, or maybe it is really your own inner critic.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Is it what you're seeing on social media?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: But name the voice, name whose voice it is that's saying you're behind.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because once you become aware of it, then you have the opportunity to take action and to potentially challenge it.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I really want you to ask yourself, you know, what actually matters to me?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's important to kind of strip away the noise and all the things that you're seeing and go back to your own core values.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: What actually is meaningful to you?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Not what looks like success or what looks impressive or what checks a box, but what makes you feel aligned?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: What makes you feel at peace?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: What brings you joy?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: The third thing I want to offer is don't measure speed.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Measure, are you in alignment?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we can ask ourselves, am I moving in a way that honors who I am?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Am I being intentional even if I'm not being fast?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because taking your time with something isn't a problem.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a flaw.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that there's something wrong with you.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we, and I, you know, we've all heard this.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you have to go slow to go fast.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Slow is sometimes actually very sacred because through taking things at your own pace, you're giving yourself time to grow and evolve.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And the other thing that I want to say is it's important to practice mindfulness.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: Be where your feet are.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Come back to the present moment.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: When we feel like we're behind, we are either ruminating over the past or we are future tripping.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: So coming back to this moment right here, right now, not 10 steps ahead, but right here and right now.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you're mindful and you're present moment focused, that's when you can start breaking this belief pattern that you're behind.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: In order to build a meaningful life, it's not about rushing to get there.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: You build a meaningful life by coming back home to yourself every single day.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's not about trying to meet someone that's expectations or to grasp the validation of somebody else.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's about where you are with your own relationship with yourself.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And every time you choose presence over the pressure, um, you you choose to trust yourself over maybe the hustle culture, or you true, you choose truth over a made-up timeline, you recognize you're not falling behind.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're actually right on time.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: You are growing, you are evolving, and you're rising into the person that you are meant to be.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: So if you are kind of some of this is resonating with you and you want to potentially reflect on this later, maybe you want to sit down and journal and write about it.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, some questions that you could take away with this is, you know, ask yourself, what if I'm actually not behind at all?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: What if it's just been a story?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: So what if I'm not behind at all?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: What becomes possible if I actually trust my own timing?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: And just allow that to sit and allow that to percolate and then allow your own being to write it out, you know, write what comes up.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: If this has resonated with you or you know somebody it might help, I would love for you to share it with them.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, if you would like to uh learn about how coaching could potentially support you in either breaking free of this false narrative or something else that might be holding you back in the goals that you're setting for yourself, feel free to book a time to chat with me at any time at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay welcome.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Username It's Authentic Me.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.