Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: The consultant is always right?

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: The consultant is always right? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing. Here's another world famous frank car.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: From Darren Wackhead, something that's ex exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: So this man is having issues with his phone and
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: it's pretty much breaking up as he speaks. So it
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: could be one of two things. It could be a
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: dodgy phone, or it could be he's in a bad
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: signal area. All right, But but when I'm the customer representative,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: we are never When when I'm the company, we are
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: never at fault. So the customer isn't always right. You
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: say the customer is always wrong, it could not possibly
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: be us. Okay, it's a good way to start a conversation.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I'm right, you're wrong. I'm right. I'm perfect. Me and
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: my company we are perfect. Our company gets it one
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: hundred percent every day. It's never us, it's always you.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I wonder why your position even exists, you know, since
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: you're so perfect.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Well, let's see how this goes.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: All right, Hello, good.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Day, I'm looking for mister Hi. It's Johanna. I'm calling
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: you from Yes, I believe you've been having a few problems.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: There's a couple of things that are not functioning and
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: working the way they.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Should be working okay now, So basically it's breakups that
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: we're talking about.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: That's correct.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, if you yeah, And when you.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Heard every second word you're talking, try again pees okay,
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: And I'm hearing every third word you're saying right now, try.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Again cheese okay.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: It seems yeah, something's gone wrong with the Yeah, something
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: is wrong.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I find Yeah, it seems like it's definitely from your side.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Let me just understand this. When when people are talking
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: to you, do they sometimes not understand what you're saying
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: is it's a bit of a breakup and stuff. Because
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I've detected. And let me try
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: to be polities sir, Do you enunciate your words properly?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: So are you I mean, are you asking me if
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: I talk clearly? Or you're talking about a technical problem
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: there as well?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, no, if you do talk clearly, sir, because I
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: must submit sometimes I do battle to hear exactly what
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: you say.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Do me a favor. I'm finding this call rather insulting.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: I'm finding this call not to my liking. I don't
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: know who you are or what is your particular position.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: My name is Johanster. I'm top of the tree.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Yes, fantastic.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I can't understand. It's like you're slurring, sir. I understand
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: it's twelve o'clock where you're drinking, sir. Hello, Yeah, and.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: If you ask me if I'm drunk and not drunk
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: along the way there, get your offices over here, see
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: me face the pace and talk to me.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, So look right now, it's twenty to one. Okay.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: You could have come back from a long lunch and
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: those speech is a little bit slurred. I don't know, okay,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: it's kind of.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: It's kind of quitously the lovely home there. You want
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: to resolve to work, then, please for a person that's
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: anything your top of the tree. You ask me if
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I'm drunk, if I'm drunk along the way, and am
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I saying my words and whatever? Please do you a favor.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Just talk to me.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: You haven't been drinking. Okay, let's just clear that up.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Please continuous, it's.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Not an embarrassment. If you do have such a speech impediment,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: it's nothing to be worried about, sir.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Mother, good morning, Hi mister.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a problem we're regarding the.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I can't I can't understand you, sir.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: You can't understand me.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: No, can you speak clearly? Please enunciate? Can you try again?
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Kind of funny because if you if you're not taking
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: the trouble you want to listen to me at all. There,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you clearly, I'm speaking to my cell phone
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: and it's stool, a bad signal that you can't get me.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry to hear that.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: What can I do to help improve the quality of
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: a communication?
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Well, so, like I said, we could start with a
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: bit of speech therapy would help.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Wonderful, wonderful, that's a really good suggestion, thank you very
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: much to offer. That is part of your inclusive sales
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: price in your in your in your contract.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: So listen. Well, what I'm hearing from you is something
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: like that's what I'm hearing from you, sir shame. Yeah,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: that's what I did. Okay, repeat after me. Why don't
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: we start with the vowels first?
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Okay? I hello, yes, Wicked Simpson.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Wonderful that you're really great to me. I listen to
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: your show and I love it a lot, and I
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: go down to your bad what since you were there
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: as well? What it says, I mean, there was nobody
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: top of the tree would find me up and my
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: drunk and I'm slowing there as well. You do a
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: good job, but turn over there every day.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Okay. Look look he clearly doesn't understand punctuation as well, like, can.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: You just slow it down?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Man, slow it down. Do you know when when when
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I was chanting to I was going, is this Dobble?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Is this John Dobson?
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: The same?
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: But they're not, you know, Yeah, we're coming for you too.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: He listen, No holds, barn, you need somebody pregged. Thereness
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: at KFM, dot co dot zna