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Happy New Year: Stop Building Monuments and Let Go of Perfection · insyed; cozy psychology

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  How strange it is to strive for perfection. As
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  the year closes, many of us have high expectations
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  for the future. Some of us may even have New
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  Year's resolutions. I still believe in them.
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  And if you do too, I want to remind you that
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  you don't have to be worthy to be whole. There's
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  a difference between doing and being. Doing means
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  movement. It requires direction. while being
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  represents an existence where each person is
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  among people. It's the difference between painting
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  Picassos and just simply having color pencils.
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  And when we try to perfect doing without balancing
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  our being, we find that we will move, just not
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  in the direction that we hope for. This essay
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  is about perfectionism, and researchers describe
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  it as a sad and lonely place. Like a painter
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  who can never finish a painting, where each flaw
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  leads to perceived failure, loneliness, decreased
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  self -worth, and a stronger desire to just abandon
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  everything for something new. Perfectionism serves
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  as a futile attempt to gain control and self
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  -worth, but it ultimately fails to alleviate
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  any kind of underlying pain. I wanted to do many
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  things last year. I wanted to upload weekly,
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  join every society, and strengthen my network.
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  In the end, all I have is just half -written
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  drafts and a bad sleep schedule. I've sat with
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  my failures, but I haven't given up. Because
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  self -compassion reminds me that the kindness
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  we give other people should be ours as well.
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  I'm not asking you to give up on your goals for
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  the new year. All I ask is that you give yourself
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  a chance. you may end up opening doors to places
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  even better than you could have ever imagined.
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  So this New Year's, stop trying to build a monument
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  to yourself and just stand in the rain. Give
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  yourself some grace and take care of each other.
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  Happy New Year.