Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - The Squatter of Queens

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Hour 3 - The Squatter of Queens · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The benny man can the benny man can it's our
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: number three happy friday to you the day before halloween
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: we've got a spooky fifth hour podcast today and here
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: in our number three of the ben mallor show the
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: original recipe ben mallor show how much of a headache
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: is bo bichette's decision to exercise a $ 42 million player
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: option for the Mets.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Do you have a message also for the Yankee fans,
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: some of them offended by the Brewers' Pat Murphy taking
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: a shot at the Bronx Bombers being a selfish team?
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: And do you believe in basketball, the Sixers' Jalen Brown,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: when he says he doesn't give an F about the critics?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: He said that. Yeah, yeah, we'll do that. And a
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: whole lot more.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Here it is, our number three plus Big Ben's lame jokes.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Of the week.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Well, you might remember years ago there was a show
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: called The King of Queens that was somewhat popular.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: Well, now you have The Squatter of Queens.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Maler Show. We are in the air everywhere, cheek to cheek,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: as we are here by popular demand. Unless no one
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: else would do the overnight show and they'd just let
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: us do it. Coast to coast, border to border, and beyond.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: On the vast and resoundingly powerful microphones of FSR emanating live.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Doing live.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: From the brew as we serve up a witch's brew
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: of hot takes guaranteed human from the world famous Fox
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Sports Radio studios as we are side by side and
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: it's Halloween weekend and we are honoring the legends of
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: the Mala Militia that have checked out and they still
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: love the show they're just on the other side of the.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Pearly gates and.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Got this message from Matt, the Warrior Raider A's and
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Tom Brady roast fan, a big part of the show
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: for so many years and a great... friend of the show,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: and he said, let the people know about the one.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I said, what one are you talking about, Matt? I've
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: got my Ouija board. He said, it's Fox One.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Do the commercial. Okay, there's nothing like live.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: This fall, every NFL on Fox game streams live on
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Fox One. Every Sunday, every rivalry. Miss it live, and
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: you're just watching a highlight catch. Every play as it happens.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: The NFL on Fox. Streaming on Fox One.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Remember that?
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I somehow was able to communicate. This is
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: a really good Ouija board. It's a really good Ouija
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: board that we got, like top-notch Ouija board. And it
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: was like, hey, it was Parker the Snow Dog from
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: the other side. Parker checked in. He barked a couple times.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Parker let us know that Scooby Snacks are much better.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: And Parker has become friends with Otto the Drinking Dog.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: If you've been with the show a long time, in
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: the early days on the weekend overnight show, we had
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: a guy call up from the Commonwealth in that area,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: and he had Otto the Drinking Dog, a big star
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: on the show. I would pick games before Benny versus
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: the Penny. We had Otto the Dog, and it was
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: a lot of fun. And it's good to know that
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Parker on the other side there is friends with Otto
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: the Drinking Dog.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Anyway, our lead this hour. Don't bury the lead, my man.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Let's talk some baseball. Got to enjoy these baseball stories
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: because in about a month, a little over a month,
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: every story is going to be about when's the next
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: labor meeting? Has there any progress been made? And then
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: it's going to be the players will send stuff out
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: on social media, ripping the owners. The owners will say
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: something at some aristocrat ball and upset everyone. Those will
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: be the kind of stories we get starting in December.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: But our lead this hour, now that the Brewers have
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: won the little piece of metal, as Rob Manford calls it,
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: The real games begin. The Hot Stove League heating up
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: a one-month edition of the Hot Stove League before baseball's
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Cold War.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Begins in December.
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  Speaker 2: And some news out of New York, if you have
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  Speaker 2: not heard, Bo Bichette is staying put. He's not moving
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  Speaker 2: his tuchus anywhere else. Whee! A 28-year-old third baseman, he
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  Speaker 2: has decided to opt in to his $ 42 million player
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  Speaker 2: option for 2027 rather than test free agency.
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  Speaker 3: Bichette signed that wacky deal.
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  Speaker 2: It was a wackadoodle deal, $ 126 million last year.
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  Speaker 3: And I guess it was actually earlier this year at
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  Speaker 3: the beginning of the year. And he went out and
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  Speaker 3: what was he? Was he a leader? Nah, not really.
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  Speaker 3: He was a non-playable character. He was a pedestrian. He batted.
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  Speaker 3: 260 with a.
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  Speaker 2: 702 on-base percentage. For the Metropolitans. So that is a
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: good jumping off point. Let us discuss the question for
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: the class. How much of a headache is Bo Bichette's
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  Speaker 2: decision to exercise his 42.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Million player option for the Mets?
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: So I've got Arby's, President Trump, and mountaintop in Tibet.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: And we will combine all of these things together, and
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: we are going to give you the real McCoy.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Not the fake McCoy. The real McCoy.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Now, to lead off, the lesson here, in terms of
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  Speaker 2: how much of a headache and all that, you play
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Now, Steve Cohn, the
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  Speaker 2: Mets owner, panicked. The Mets thought they were getting Justin Tucker.
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  Speaker 2: He went to the Dodgers. And rather than saying, hey,
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  Speaker 2: we dodged that one, they thought, oh, man, they thought
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Tucker was going to be good. He sucked with the Dodgers.
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  Speaker 2: And so they went out and overpaid for Bo Bichette.
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  Speaker 2: You might remember Bichette was about to sign for the
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Philadelphia baseball team.
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  Speaker 3: He was going to sign for the Phillies.
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  Speaker 2: And then in the 11th hour, with the clock ticking
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  Speaker 2: down on the sticks of dynamite, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
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  Speaker 2: just before it got to one, the Mets signed Bo Bichette.
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  Speaker 2: They gave Bo Bichette everything he wanted. He didn't want
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  Speaker 2: to play in New York. They gave him everything he wanted.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Bichette really didn't want to play in Philadelphia either. The
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  Speaker 2: ex-Blue Jay, he just wanted to offer him the most money.
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  Speaker 2: And so the Mets, as a result, they get pharmacy-grade ibuprofen.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: This is a chronic migraine in the Queens area there,
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  Speaker 2: in Flushing. So congratulations to Stevie Cohen, the Mets owner.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: You did win a prize. You won the Golden Fleece Award.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: You bought a $ 42 million McMansion at the top of
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: the housing bubble for the Mets, and now the Zestimate says,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: that boba shits, the McMansion's worth about $ 5 million. It's
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: got a leaky roof. There's some black mold, underwater mortgage.
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  Speaker 3: It's not good.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: So the Mets paid for King Kong, and right now
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: they're getting a monkey... in a diaper throwing raisins at
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  Speaker 2: people that are of European descent.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Walking around Times Square. Very odd. Very odd.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: The crazy thing about this, Ozzie Albies of the Braves,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: who's a mid-level, average Major League Baseball player, Ozzie Albies,
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  Speaker 2: who has almost identical production to Bo Bichette, the Braves
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  Speaker 2: are paying him $ 5 million a year.
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  Speaker 3: The Mets are going to.
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  Speaker 2: Be paying Bo Bichette $ 42.
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  Speaker 3: Million next season.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: If you want, I can do the Mallor math on that,
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: and the Mallor math is rather shocking. So if you
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: go from $ 5 million to $ 42 million, by percentage, I
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: believe the Mets are paying their guy 740% more than
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: the Braves are paying their guy for comparable production. Where
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: I come from, that's known as grand larceny. So congratulations
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: to Bo Bichette. You are guilty of grand larceny. And
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: with all the saber-rattling going on that we're facing, baseballs, Armageddon,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: and a $ 5 million buyout, opting out, if Bobachet had said, hey,
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to opt out and test the market, that
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  Speaker 2: would have been like trading a winning lottery ticket for
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: a nice coupon to Arby's. Can I trade my winnings?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: I would like to have a nice sandwich from Arby's
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  Speaker 2: and some fries. No, that's not a good idea.
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  Speaker 3: All right, furthermore, we go now to Milwaukee.
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  Speaker 2: And this story still has legs. Some Yankee fans are
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: upset with Brewers manager Pat Murphy. We talked about this
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: in a previous episode of the show. It's a follow-up,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: so if you missed it, it was a post-game locker
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: room moment where Pat Murphy, the manager, blasted The Yankees,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: during the celebration, the moment has bounced all over, a
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: very viral moment. Jake Bowers of the Brew Crew caught
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: the final out of the 2026 World Series. And in
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: a moment in the locker room, he presented Murph with
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  Speaker 2: the ball.
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  Speaker 3: He said, here is the final out.
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  Speaker 2: Baseball, championship clinching baseball, and this emotional moment. Pat Murphy
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  Speaker 2: hugged Jake Bowers and then delivered the line that will
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  Speaker 2: live in infamy. Pat Murphy, you've just won the World Series.
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  Speaker 3: What are you going to do now? I'm going to pee.
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  Speaker 3: all over the Yankees is what I'm going to do.
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to spit a loogie at him.
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  Speaker 2: Murphy said, quote, this is to Jake Bowers. He said,
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  Speaker 2: you're going to be a rich effer, Murphy said. And
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: then he described his former Yankee teammates, because Bowers did
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: play with the Yankees, as horse poo and accused the
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: players of looking out for themselves rather than the team.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: He said, hey, remember how we played when you're on
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  Speaker 2: the Yankees someday and you're playing selfish baseball.
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  Speaker 3: So the question, do you have a message?
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Do you have a message for the small but vocal
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  Speaker 2: group of Yankee fans who are offended by They're offended
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  Speaker 2: by the Brewers' Pat Murphy taking a shot at the
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Bronx Bombers. So, yes, to the Yankee fans clutching their
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: pearls over Pat Murphy getting personal, I recommend you go
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: on the Internet right now. There are websites you can
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: buy a miniature therapy horse, of course. So go and
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: do it. Listen, the truth hurts. To me, that's the takeaway.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I mentioned this story the other night. I thought it
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: was humorous and funny, and that's it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: It's like, who cares?
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Murphy's comments, the problem is they cut so close to
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: the bone, down to the bone, that you're bleeding through
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  Speaker 2: your pinstriped pajamas. You got your little Yankee sippy cup,
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: and you got your pinstriped pajamas and all that.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: You wouldn't be offended.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: If there wasn't a kernel of truth buried in that
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: pile of Bronx manure. So do better, be better, and
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: you're just jelly of Pat Murphy. And the great thing
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: about Pat Murphy is this is going to be his
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: last job. And baseball's not going to have Pat Murphy
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: managing until he's 80 years old. So he'll be in
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Milwaukee for a few more years, and that'll be that.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: The guy's in his mid-60s. He's not auditioning for a
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: job in the Bronx. So what the hell does he
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: have to lose? To me, this was presidential, as President
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Trump famously would describe it.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: It's just locker room talk. That's all it is. Somebody... Alert.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Candid camera.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: It was candid camera. There's cameras everywhere and all that.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: It's Orwellian.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: And some of you Yankee lapdogs, you brown nosers with
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: the Yankees, you act like Pat Murphy stole the Declaration
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: of Independence and used it to wipe his ass. That
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: did not happen. He was celebrating and he was dealing
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: in hyperbole. He was not delivering a State.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: Of the Union. He was not.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: And your $ 300 million baseball country club at Yankee Stadium
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: got roasted by a guy who actually won something, something
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: that the Yankees haven't been able to do in almost
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: 20 years, win a World Series.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: All right, last thing.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: I did want to mention this, the ongoing drama, the
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: quagmire between ex-Celtic and current Celtic.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: We go to Philadelphia in.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: The NBA where 76ers star Jalen Brown says the secret
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: to handling criticism is mastering the art of not caring.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: He went and said, listen, I don't care. He popped
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: up on some podcast and said, I don't think. about
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: what outsiders say. I don't worry about what outsiders say. This,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: as rumors continue swirling, bouncing around the echo chamber that
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Jalen Brown's departure from Boston was because of a beef between.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Him and Jason Tate.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: And they don't like each other, which is kind of
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: clear based on the commentary that's happened since the trade
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: went down. So again, appearing on some fledgling podcast, Jalen
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Brown described ignoring criticism and as, quote, the art form
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: of not giving an F. He argued that it's a
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: skill anyone can develop.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: Question.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Do you believe, do you believe the Sixers' Jalen Brown
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: when he says he doesn't give an F about the critics?
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: So I am.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: I am shaking my head no. I am shaking my
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: head no here. I would like to play the game
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: of Mythbusters, Mallor Mythbusters on the radio. Can we play
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Mallor Mythbusters on the radio?
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: It's a fun game. So let's play Mallor Mythbusters. Easy
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: for me to say.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: This is grade A bullshoy, or as Jay Scoop would say,
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: bullpucky is what it is.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: It's just bullpucky. What is my evidence?
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Let me make my elevator pitch on this edition of
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Mal or Mythbusters. Your Honor, my first character witness is
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Jalen Brown himself.
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: What? Yes.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: The guy claims he's immune to criticism.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: And then turns around, and if I'm not mistaken, bellyaches
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: about NBA award voters and bias and playing favorites. And
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Brown also admits that accusations involving, quote, character assassination or defamation.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Get under his skin. Capital H. Hello. Hello.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Earth to Jalen Brown. Talking out of both sides of
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: your mouth. What are we doing? Seriously, what are we doing?
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: You're not some Zen master meditating on a mountaintop in Tibet.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: You're not.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: You play in the Delaware Valley. You probably hang out
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: with Jonathan in Delaware and Fry Daddy and all that.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: You're a multimillionaire, one of the highest paid players in
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: the NBA. You clearly have acquired rabbit ears the size
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: of satellite dishes from the 1980s.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: And this fake tough guy feed her. I get it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Now, is he tougher than Jason Tatum? Sure.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would agree.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Side by side, if you do the Pepsi challenge, the
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Cola challenge, I would believe that Jalen Brown is a
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: little tougher than Jason Tatum.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: That being said, though, he's human. It's okay.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: You can't advertise yourself as emotionally bulletproof while running a
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: customer service hotline for every perceived slight that and going
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: to war with the people that do debate TV. Stay
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: in your lane! First of all, I guess you've got
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: to pick a lane, but stay in your lane. Either
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: you block out the noise because you have some kind
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: of superpower. The late Stan Lee would be impressed by that, right?
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Give an F and that's it, and that's your superpower.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: And so, okay, you block out the noise. Or you
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: embrace the debate. And Brown has spent year after year
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: embracing the debate. He's not ignoring the critics. He's the
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: most loyal customer for people like Stephen A. Smith and
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: guys like that, or old morning guy Stephen A., the
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: people that do debate television. He's right there at the
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: top in loyalty.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Customer retention and loyalty. Jalen Brown is near the top.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: And these guys have a lot of downtime, these basketball players,
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: and really all professional athletes.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: They don't really work that hard, not like us. that
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: have real jobs, they got pretty easy jobs.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: You know, you guys working at the shore, the longshoremen,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: the truck drivers, people working in factories, you got real jobs.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: These guys, a couple hours a night, they play basketball,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: got to get there a couple hours before the game,
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: you stay maybe half an hour after the game, and
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: that's it.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: And you're on your merry way.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: And you have a lot of time to watch what
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: the TV people have, the debate people. and listen to radio,
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: sports radio.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: And all that.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: It is the Ben Maller Show. If you would like
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: to be part, you can join us right now at
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: 877-99 on Fox, also.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: On X, at Ben Maller. That's at Ben Maller.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: We had Benny versus Benny last hour. This hour we
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: have the Riddle of the Day. Also, Lame Jokes of
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: the Week will be coming up a little bit later
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: in the hour. So we've got some good stuff. And
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: we have reopened the phone lines, by the way. I
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: gave out the number there, but the lines have been closed.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: The lines were dark for the last hour or so.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: If you want to call in, this is a fresh start.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: It's like starting the show all over again. We'll work
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: on getting that X rundown up.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: We'll do that momentarily.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: But time now for the Malheur Riddle of the Day.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: That's right, the Malheur Riddle of the Day. Oh, my God,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Eugene in Chicago is so excited. He's bouncing up and down.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: Well, here it is.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: 49er defensive back Nate Hobbs went viral for attending the
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: team's Halloween party dressed as blank. Now, remember, it's a
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: family show here. There's a lot of kids that love
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: listening at 4 in the morning. They can't get enough
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: of the show. So 49ers defensive back Nate Hobbs went
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: viral recently for attending the team's annual Halloween party dressed
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: as blank. That is the mallor riddle of the day.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: The answer, we'll get to it, and we will do it.
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maler
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: Welcome to Football Doesn't Lie.
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: Hi, I'm Bill Parcells.
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: And I'm Catherine Zazzora.
• 19:32
  Speaker 6: I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine.
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week,
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: fan to football expert over the course of the season.
• 19:47
  Speaker 6: You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and
• 19:49
  Speaker 6: hopefully we we can give our audience a little in-depth
• 19:52
  Speaker 6: look into the inner sanctum of pro football that they
• 19:55
  Speaker 6: can't get anywhere else.
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells,
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: analysis on the state of the modern game, and education
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: on how football really works.
• 20:05
  Speaker 7: Continuity is very important but what happens when you get
• 20:10
  Speaker 7: good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize
• 20:13
  Speaker 7: them then they want to hire them and then you
• 20:17
  Speaker 7: can't stop a guy from trying to improve himself but
• 20:20
  Speaker 7: you have to replace.
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: Them Because once you understand what's going on inside the
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: mind of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game.
• 20:28
  Speaker 6: So all aspects can be discussed. The only thing I
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: haven't done, because I didn't have enough money, I don't
• 20:34
  Speaker 6: own the team. I never owned a team.
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: or wherever you get your podcasts.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: The Ben Maler Show on Fox Sports Radio as we
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: roll on through the overnight and we get back to
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: the riveting phone calls.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, my.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: So freaking good. So, so good. Your phone calls the
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: highlight of the night. We'll also pay off the Malheur
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Riddle of the Day. That'll be coming up momentarily, and
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: you want to fill those lines up. We haven't taken
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: a call in over an hour. It's been about an
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: hour and a half, so you can give us a
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: buzz right now.
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: 877-99-ON-FOX.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: That's 877-996-6369.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: If you'd like to be part of the live radio program,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: You can say hello to our friend Lorena. Also on
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: my accent, at Ben Maller. That's at Ben Maller.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: And Lorena, right over there, can give her a Halloween message.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: It's her birthday week still.
• 21:43
  Speaker 8: I love Halloween.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Big fan of Halloween, yes. Is that your favorite holiday, Halloween?
• 21:48
  Speaker 8: Yeah, definitely top holiday for me.
• 21:51
  Speaker 7: Really?
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: I just love dressing up. Christmas or.
• 21:54
  Speaker 9: Okay.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: But you don't need to dress up for Halloween, right?
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: You can just, you know, no?
• 21:58
  Speaker 8: You have to dress up.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: Are you dressing up? Yes.
• 22:03
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Anyway, Lorena is there.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Say hello at FSR Tech Queen and Koopaloop at All
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Bronco Fan. That's All Bronco Fan. And your comments can
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: and will be used against you in the.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Court of sports radio. So please, please act accordingly. Thank you.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: I'll pay off the riddle of the day. And I
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: would like to.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Announce to all the affiliates down the line. For all
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: the affiliates down the line.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: Big news here.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: We've sent out the show rundown. This is, I believe,
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: the latest we've ever sent the show rundown down. This
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: is a new record for the longest gap between the
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: start of the show and the show rundown.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: So congratulations.
• 22:50
  Speaker 8: I'm going to congratulate you on that, yeah.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: Thank you for that. Outstanding.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Out.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: I know I'm going to get 8 million messages.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: You didn't ask Lorena what she's going to dress up
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: as for Halloween.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: I need to know.
• 23:06
  Speaker 8: I bet 10 bucks I'll post it.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Well, you're very bashful, Lorena. One thing I know about you,
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: and I've known you a couple years now. Let me
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: tell you something about you, okay? You're not a woman
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: that does the social media. You don't promote.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Never touch it. You do not touch it. I never post.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: You don't tease the boys at all. No, you do not.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: That is not your, that's not the way you operate.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not. Anyway, here's the riddle of the day. Here
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: is the riddle of the day, if you would like
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: to participate. 49er defensive back Nate Hobbs went viral recently,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: attended the team's Halloween party, dressed as blank.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Mr.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Irrigation, my friend from Houston, he's obsessed with this guy.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: He says, dressed as Don Lemon.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: There you go. Dressed as a drama queen.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Like, Isn't Don Lemon irrelevant at this point? You keep
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: bringing his name up. I don't even know what he's doing.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: What else do we have?
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: King Roy went with a snake charmer. That's quite the
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: outfit there, King Roy. I don't think you can get
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: that at Spirit Halloween. What else do we have? A
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: bag of Cheezies from Alf. Oh, that is the greatest snack.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: I hope my friend Nico's okay. We haven't heard from
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Nico in a while in Vancouver, but he opened my
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: eyes to Cheezies, which is better than Cheetos.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: By a lot.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: The Mostly a Canadian treat, although I think it's made
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: in America. Courtesy Flusher went with a Mac Daddy as
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: his answer. Late Night Drug Tester says he dressed as
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Kyle Shanahan's deployed airbag. Eek in Roseville, Minnesota went with
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Nancy Pelosi. Nate Hammer says he dressed as a mysterious
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: power plant near Levi's Stadium.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: That'd be funny. That's pretty good.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Dressed as Moses from Andy in Lionel Lakes, Minnesota. Rob
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: in the 321 says Hobbs dressed as Calvin for Halloween.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: I see what you did there.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Dressed as a Raider fan. Oh, scary, says Michael in Tulsa.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Tinkerbell guessed by Johnny Q. That's his answer. Ronnie Lott's
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Pinky from Black and Blum.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, half a pinky.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Meow Meow Kitty from Chip and the Q's.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: All right. What else do we have? Page down. What
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: else do we have? Page down. Can't read that. All right.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: Do you have an answer, Lorena?
• 25:30
  Speaker 8: Those were all very good costume ideas. I'm going to
• 25:33
  Speaker 8: go with Jessica Rabbit.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Jessica Rabbit, the hottest rabbit of them all. Jessica Rabbit,
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: big part of my childhood.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Roger Rabbit. That is incorrect.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: Correct.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately for the hot Jessica Rabbit.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: The correct answer is that 49ers defensive back Nate Hobbs
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: went viral for attending the team's Halloween party dressed as
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: notorious 49er fraudster Dijon Love.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: Feel the love. Isn't that good? That's a good costume.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 26:02
  Speaker 8: That's a great costume.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: Isn't that funny? He hasn't played. He's hurt. He hasn't
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: played for the team yet.
• 26:08
  Speaker 8: I'm shocked they haven't drafted him.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: Uh dijon love yeah yeah yeah so this guy scammed
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: 26 chicks fell for this guy how about that.
• 26:18
  Speaker 8: Got over what two million dollars in total.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: They say it was at least a million and a
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: half and it probably was a lot more than that
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: by pretending to be a 49er and the costume uh
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: let me check with my costume designer koopaloop isn't the
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: costume you just have to get a 49er helmet and
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: go to like walk around with a 49er helmet isn't
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: that all he did.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe so. He had, like, some athletic wear
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: and a 49ers helmet.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Because he didn't have a jersey because he wasn't on
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: the team, so you can't. I guess you could get
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: a DeSean Love jersey, but I don't think he ever
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: pretended to have a number, right?
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: You can get a full-size replica helmet for $ 200.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: There you go. That's your Halloween costume. Just have the helmet.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: And they say, what are you doing? Oh, I play
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: for the Niners.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, you do?
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Is that right? Yeah. What team? What number? I don't
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: have a number.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Are you on the 49er website? No, I'm not on
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: the website. There you go. I guess this was Brock Purdy.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: He hosted the Halloween party, and he dressed up as
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: a character from Monsters, Inc.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I'm sure that was cute. Oh, was it Sully? I
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: don't know.
• 27:23
  Speaker 8: Mike Wazowski.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: Supermarket Steve writes in. He says, I think you're lying, Ben.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: I can't think of a Yankee fan out there who's
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: complaining about Pat Murphy's comments.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: He's right.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: He should remember how they play Jake Bowers when he's
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: playing for the Yankees next year because maybe they'll actually
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: hit with runners in scoring position. I love how Supermarket
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Steve thinks that his bubble is the only bubble. Like,
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: do a little research here.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Go on.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: Right now, I can type in a couple of words
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: on social media and there'll be hundreds of people complaining. Now, granted,
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: how many of those are real people and how many
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: of those are bots?
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know. They could be bots. But there are
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: comments on social media ripping Pat Murphy. What are you doing? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Eugene in Chicago says, Ben, don't forget to set your
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: clock back.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Saturday into Sunday. There you go.
• 28:22
  Speaker 8: Do you still have to do that, Ben? I feel
• 28:25
  Speaker 8: like most of the clocks are digital these days.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: I don't think I have a clock that's not digital. Like,
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: the phone does it automatically. The computer does it automatically.
• 28:34
  Speaker 8: Yeah, the only one.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, go ahead.
• 28:36
  Speaker 8: The stove?
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Well, we don't... My wife bought a stove that doesn't
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: have a clock, so I don't think.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Oh! Yeah. We have one clock in the house that's
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: like a.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Well, I have.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: A grandfather clock, so there's a couple things we have
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: to change, but that's it. Oh, by the way, I
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: know we have a bunch of people in Chicago that
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: love the show. There's a chance I might be able
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: to do a last-minute Maller meet-and-greet in Chicago next month.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be in the Midwest. I've got to
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: visit my brother. He does not leave Wisconsin, so I'll
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: be in Chicago for.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: A couple of days.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: So if anybody in Chicago is interested, if you have
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: a venue, reach out to me. And I know this
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: is a long shot and it probably won't happen. And
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: it'll be real quick and just a brief thing. And
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: it's not going to be like a big extravaganza. It'll
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: just be my fat ass.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: It'll be there. So if you're interested and you think
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: you have a place we might be able to all
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: hang out in the Chicago area, send me an email.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: BenMallerShow at gmail.com. That's BenMallerShow. at gmail.com let me know
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: and maybe it'll work out with my schedule and I'm
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: gonna be there a brief time I'm not gonna be
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: there that long so let me know if you're in
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: the Chicago area And I appreciate that. We'll take some
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: phone calls. It is a call-in show. We have not
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: taken a call in a while. We have Big Ben's
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: Lame Jokes of the Week. That'll be coming up in
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: a little bit. And my board is being reset right
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: now as we speak. And here we have an X
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: at Ben Maller. That's at Ben Maller if you'd like
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: to be part of it. of the live radio program.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Let's go to the phones, and we'll say hello to,
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: let's go to Brandy and Nathan, who are in the
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Sunshine State.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Remember, they flew out to Vegas. We got to hang
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: out with them last minute. Yeah, great fun to hang
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: out with. What a great couple they are. Hello, Brandy
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: and Nathan. Welcome. Uh-oh.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: Did they fall asleep? They might have fallen asleep. They
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: don't work normal. They don't work our hours, I don't think.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: All right. Well, I love you both. Hopefully we'll chat
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: next week. You're great characters, and we'll appreciate you staying.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I guess you stayed on hold so long you fell asleep.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: You stayed on hold so long.
• 30:58
  Speaker 8: That's commitment, though.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: That is dedication.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Let's try Tony. who's up the road here in Santa
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Clarita here in SoCal.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: What's going on? Tony, welcome.
• 31:09
  Speaker 9: Hey, Ben, I don't know if you're watching the World
• 31:12
  Speaker 9: Series on the television, but did you notice the phony
• 31:15
  Speaker 9: crowd noise and sound effects they were putting into the
• 31:18
  Speaker 9: broadcast for, like, the whole game? I was listening to
• 31:21
  Speaker 9: part of it on the radio. Sometimes the stadium was quiet,
• 31:24
  Speaker 9: and then I would go to the TV, and it
• 31:26
  Speaker 9: was totally loud. It's like impossible.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Are you saying they were manipulating the audio? Is that
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: what you're telling me right now? I did not notice that,
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: so I don't know if that's happened.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: It has happened.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: I was at, years ago, the Indiana Pacers played in
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: the NBA Finals, and they were pumping in crowd noise.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: And you know how I know that, Tony?
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you how I know that, because I was
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: sitting near the roof right near the speaker, and I
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: could hear the noise coming out of the speaker.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: So it does happen. They were even bringing in the.
• 31:52
  Speaker 9: Bat contact was fake, because it sounded like MLB Tonight
• 31:56
  Speaker 9: highlight bat contact. On the radio, the bat contact was
• 32:00
  Speaker 9: way loud, and there's no way you could hear the
• 32:03
  Speaker 9: bat contact if you have all that crowd noise. They
• 32:07
  Speaker 9: must have been putting in the bat contact sound also.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: Look at you, Tony. You seem annoyed by this. You're
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: bothered by this.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I am.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: I really am annoyed.
• 32:13
  Speaker 9: They were trying to hype this World Series with those
• 32:15
  Speaker 9: garbage teams. Really.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: Well, you watched it, though. That's all they care about, Tony.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Whether you liked it or not, you watched it.
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 32:23
  Speaker 9: The broadcast is probably being run by the MLB itself
• 32:26
  Speaker 9: rather than.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: Well, they do oversee the.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: MLB does oversee the broadcast there, so I don't know
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: what happened.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: I have no evidence that they.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Pumped in crowd noise, but I wouldn't be shocked.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: It does happen, as you know, Tony. NFL teams do
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: that a lot. All right, buddy.
• 32:42
  Speaker 9: The next surprise team is going to be Las Vegas.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: There's no team in Las Vegas yet.
• 32:47
  Speaker 9: Well, when they get there, when they build a new stadium,
• 32:49
  Speaker 9: they're going to be the new surprise team.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Well, you don't know that because what are
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: the rules going to be? Who knows what the rules
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: are going to be?
• 32:56
  Speaker 9: Oh, yeah. Outfitters have to stay in their area or whatever.
• 32:59
  Speaker 9: That's stupid. Did you hear that one?
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a lot of that. I'm still amazed by
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: the Ghostrunner. What are we doing?
• 33:08
  Speaker 9: But the outfielder has to stay in their area? What
• 33:10
  Speaker 9: is that, really?
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: That's not 100% going to happen, though.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: They're talking. It's in the beta testing, right? They're doing
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: the beta testing on that stuff. I've read a bunch.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: There's a bunch of different stuff they're testing.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: More importantly, are the Dodgers actually going to get some
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: of these guys to actually perform next year.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: In the playoffs? That's the question.
• 33:30
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: That's a mess.
• 33:31
  Speaker 9: All right.
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Tony. I like your complaining, though.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: That's good that you waited a couple days to bitch
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: about the World Series broadcast.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: Thank you for that.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Stevie Meatballs is in the Sunshine State. He's a fan favorite. Hello,
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Stevie Meatballs.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: Welcome.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: Hi.
• 33:45
  Speaker 9: How you doing?
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: Mr. Meatballs. How you doing, Stevie Meatballs?
• 33:50
  Speaker 7: So you mentioned my name earlier about, you know, we
• 33:54
  Speaker 7: were going to do a bit, la-di-da.
• 33:56
  Speaker 6: Well, yeah, but.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: I didn't forget.
• 33:58
  Speaker 9: You forgot.
• 33:59
  Speaker 7: You don't return emails.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: So, you know, that's your policy, so you forget things.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Well, it's not really a great policy. You're kind of
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: embarrassing me that I should be better about that. It's
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: a bad job by me, and I apologize. Yeah, so
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: we were thinking about doing a bit, and we were
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: going to do the Stevie Meatballs dating game.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: The Stevie Meatballs dating game.
• 34:19
  Speaker 8: That sounds fun.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: You know, Stevie's a very eligible bachelor. He's a renaissance man.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: He's a great character. He's a big guy.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Over there in Florida.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: And he'd like some nice female companionship.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: Is that correct, Stevie Meatballs?
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Is that correct?
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: I could use some. Yes, it would help out a
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: little bit. Life can be lonely sometimes.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: It's nice to have someone to enjoy their company and
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: all that. All right, well, Stevie, we've got to figure
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: out a time to do this, the right time. The
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: holidays are coming up, as you know. I think we
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: can probably do this on a Monday or a Tuesday.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: I've got to plan out how we're going to do it.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: I've got to figure out how we're going to do this.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: I'm going to workshop it, and then we'll set up
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: a date you're able.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: To do it. How about that?
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: Sounds great.
• 35:09
  Speaker 8: Hey, is Lorena interested in being a contestant?
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 35:16
  Speaker 8: I don't. Yeah, no, I don't date.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: She does not believe in dating.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: She's a very religious girl, and she's wearing a burka
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: What?
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: One night stands aren't a date. That is correct. All right.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Stevie.
• 35:32
  Speaker 9: And I have a Ferrari badge.
• 35:33
  Speaker 7: Come on.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, there you go.
• 35:35
  Speaker 8: Tempting.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: Very tempting. He's got a lot of money. This guy's loaded.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: Stevie Meatballs, he made it all selling drugs, but he's
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: got a lot of money. A lot of money.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: All right, thank you, Stevie. All right, this is the
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Ben Maller Show. We've got Big Ben's lame jokes of
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: the week. All the best singers, all the best one-liners.
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: We'll get to that. We'll do it! Next.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: Pacific.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio leading into
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: a Halloween weekend. Oh, a spooky Halloween weekend. Reminder, take
• 36:11
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• 36:13
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• 36:16
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• 36:20
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• 36:22
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• 36:23
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• 36:27
  Speaker 2: the Fifth Hour podcast, all of that available for you.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: So make sure to check out the Ben Maller Show podcast,
• 36:35
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• 36:37
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• 36:40
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• 36:43
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• 36:44
  Speaker 2: cool feature they have on the iHeart app. So make
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: sure to check that out.
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: Knock, knock.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: Who's there?
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: Lame week.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: Lame week who?
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: That it is, this portion of the Ben Maller Show
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: on Fox, made possible by Fox One.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: There's nothing like live. This fall, every NFL on.
• 37:04
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• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Miss it live, you're just watching a highlight. Catch every
• 37:11
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• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Here's my friend Billy from Florida there.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: Hello, Billy.
• 37:19
  Speaker 9: Of course I'm here.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: And anytime you want me to be on the fifth hour,
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: just call. Oh, here we go. You got to wait
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: your turn.
• 37:26
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: No problem.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: I got people that want to be part. I'll get
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: you on again. I'll get you on again. All right.
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: Here we go. These are actual jokes by actual listeners.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: If you'd like to send jokes in in a future episode,
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: send them care of... The Ben Maler Show email address,
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: benmalershow at gmail.com.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Weed Man could not find a Herman Munster costume for Halloween.
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: Do you hear about this?
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: No, why? Yeah, so now you're going to be going
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: as Herman Dumpster. So that's your costume.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: He's trash. It's Eek in Roseville, Minnesota.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Why doesn't Weed Man care about the time change coming
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: up this weekend? There's no time change coming up. There
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: you go, because it's always high time where he is, baby.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: That's Michael in Tulsa. You really don't know about the
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: time change this weekend, Weed Man?
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: Really? There is no time change.
• 38:19
  Speaker 9: Trump said there wasn't going to.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: Be one, right?
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: Well, he said that, but they haven't switched it yet.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I think Congress has to switch it. What's the only
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: candy Weed Man gets when he goes trick-or-treating?
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: What kind?
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: Dumb Dumbs. That's Eek in Roseville, Minnesota. That last joke
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: was from Michael in Tulsa. Why did Weed Man go
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: trick-or-treating as a ghost?
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Well, apparently you were already high as a kite and
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: wanted to be a free spirit.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: So that's why. That's Leo from Chicago.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: Why does Weed Man need... Yeah, it'll change by itself.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Why doesn't Weed Man need a haunted house on Halloween?
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: What? What?
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: What?
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: She says he has a lot of issues.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: A lot of issues. Oh, that's good. That's good. Oh,
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: she's there. There she is. That's Lisa. There she is.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: What do you call it when Lisa dresses up as
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: Weed Man for Halloween?
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: What?
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: Well, she'd be a weed woman, is what she would be.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: That's a Noah in Austin, is what that is.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: Rosie the teacher from Omaha sent this in.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: Did you hear about Weed Man Hippie's Halloween-y party costume?
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: No, what happened? Yeah, yeah, apparently you're going as.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: Mike the Leprechaun all the way down to the green
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: jockstrap that says, kiss my shillelagh.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: You'll be wearing that. There you go.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Well, President Weed Man wants to legalize weed everywhere.
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you plan on having a joint session with Congress there,
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Weed Man. That's Mike the Leprechaun. All right, what.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Happened to Weed Man's children when he got divorced? What?
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: He got joint custody. That's from Mike the Leprechaun. There
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: you go.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: I think that's all we have time for. So thanks
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: to everybody. If I didn't get your jokes on, we'll
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: send them again next week. Thank you, Weed Man and Lisa.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: There they are. Lame jokes of the week.