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144. MyMaine Birth: Ivy's Three Pregnancy and Four Birth Stories at EMMC in Bangor · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Ivy: At like the 45 minute mark, I said, like, I think I need to be checked again.
• 0:03
  Ivy: So my nurse comes in and she gets ready to check me.
• 0:07
  Ivy: And she's like, okay, oh boy.
• 0:09
  Ivy: She was like, Yeah, he is like right there and your 10 centimeters dilated.
• 0:13
  Ivy: And she's like, and I have a lot to do.
• 0:14
  Ivy: So she like runs out the door to go get the OR ready.
• 0:18
  Ivy: And I was just like, I don't know, I felt like oblivious.
• 0:22
  Ivy: And like when I look back on it, like my mom was at the head of the bed and my husband was over like on the couch.
• 0:28
  Ivy: And I had looked at he was texting with our friend who's a doctor during this time and like giving him updates and like trying to see what to expect because I think he was also like kind of in shock at how quick everything was happening.
• 0:40
  Ivy: And I remember somebody said, like, oh, why wasn't he like up with you?
• 0:44
  Ivy: But I like didn't want to be touched.
• 0:47
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, I just felt like I was in this alternate universe where I just was like wanting to deal with it myself almost.
• 0:54
  Ivy: Like it was different.
• 0:55
  Ivy: Like I remember with Bowen, like I had him pushing on my back and like doing all these other things, but this was just like so intense that I don't I feel like I just had to like put my mind into it and be like, I'm just gonna deal with it.
• 1:06
  Ivy: And like my mom kept giving me like little encouragements, but she wasn't like touching me.
• 1:10
  Ivy: And I just like wanted to just kind of work through it.
• 1:13
  Ivy: There was it felt like there was like nothing that can be done to make this better.
• 1:18
  Ivy: So I'm just gonna power through.
• 1:20
  Ivy: So everybody, like my nurse runs out and she comes back in, and everybody is like trying to get stuff ready and get me to the OR.
• 1:28
  Ivy: And I remember one thing that I was bummed about is that they didn't let my mom come in because we had to deliver in the OR.
• 1:34
  Ivy: So we had to leave her in the room.
• 1:38
  Ivy: So we go to the OR, they just wheel my like regular bed in so I don't have to get on like the stretch or anything.
• 1:44
  Ivy: Like I was kind of worried about it feeling like it did with my first daughter, like kind of bright and scary.
• 1:51
  Ivy: And but it really didn't.
• 1:53
  Ivy: Like, I think something about like staying in my own bed and like there was no surgery, like there was no tools out anywhere.
• 2:00
  Ivy: Like it it didn't feel as like sterile and scary as I thought it was going to, which was good.
• 2:05
  Ivy: So remember we go in there and everybody's all like getting dressed up, and I'm just kind of like laying there, don't know what to do.
• 2:12
  Ivy: Like, I'm still having that really intense pressure.
• 2:14
  Ivy: I was like, somebody's just gonna have to like tell me what to do, and I'll do it.
• 2:18
  Ivy: So they were like, Well, for right now, don't do anything because he's right there and I need a minute.
• 2:21
  Ivy: And so she's like getting all dressed up, and I like my body was kind of like pushing on its own, but so we left for the OR at 921.
• 2:32
  Ivy: And for my son, I pushed one contraction with him, and he came out at 927.
• 2:41
  Ivy: And then so he comes out and they put him on my chest.
• 2:45
  Ivy: And I just remember being like, Wow, this is amazing, but like I can't believe I'm gonna have to like do it again.
• 2:51
  Ivy: Like, like, like anticipating, like, what is that gonna be like?
• 2:54
  Ivy: And in hindsight, this was such a short time.
• 2:56
  Ivy: Like, my husband snapped one picture, I think, of me on his test and like he wasn't expecting, like, he was kind of confused when I said that.
• 3:01
  Ivy: I was like, take a picture, and he was like, Right now, and I was like, Yeah, just I don't know.
• 3:05
  Ivy: He's out we'll just take the picture.
• 3:07
  Ivy: So he takes the picture, and then a couple seconds passed, and Dr.
• 3:11
  Ivy: Fagan's like very calmly but very assertively, said, Baby B is coming out, footling breach.
• 3:19
  Ivy: So that's completely feat first.
• 3:23
  Ivy: So everybody kind of starts to like silently shuffle around, and I can't see what's happening, so I don't really know.
• 3:32
  Ivy: And I already have one baby on my chest, and so it's like a little overwhelming.
• 3:35
  Ivy: And so I remember Dr.
• 3:37
  Ivy: Fagan's asked for a towel, and my husband's recollection of it is that she asked for the towel because she tried to pull on Georgia's legs and they like slipped out because you know, she's a baby, she's slippery.
• 3:50
  Ivy: And so she asked for a towel and then she used the towel to like kind of help pull her out.
• 3:56
  Ivy: But my husband was like scared, like he's like, I don't know, we've never seen anything like it, of course.
• 4:01
  Ivy: And he's like looking, like, I don't know, I feel like a lot of guys are like, I'm not gonna look, and then they look and like they like it and like they want to see it.
• 4:08
  Ivy: And so he was like really looking.
• 4:11
  Ivy: And I just remember him being like, she's out from her thighs down, like he said that to me.
• 4:18
  Ivy: And I remember looking at my nurse, and it just felt different, like it never felt unsafe or like I don't even really want to call it scared, like it just felt different, and like I really needed reassurance that it was okay.
• 4:33
  Ivy: Because I remember hearing Dr.
• 4:35
  Ivy: Fagan's and she's like, she sounded confident, and she kept saying, It's okay, it's okay.
• 4:40
  Ivy: And she was like directing people.
• 4:42
  Ivy: And I remember I just kept looking at Mackenzie, my nurse, and being like, Is she okay?
• 4:46
  Ivy: And she'd say, Yes, it's fine.
• 4:47
  Ivy: But like I could also tell from her face, like she was kind of like, like, oh my god, get this baby out.
• 4:53
  Ivy: So she actually all of this happened in like a minute, so there's only a minute in between.
• 4:58
  Ivy: And with her, I only pushed, like, she told me to give one big push for her head, and I did.
• 5:04
  Ivy: And she was out and they put her on my chest, and she was a little stunned, like she was a little like purple-y, and I think that made my husband a little nervous.
• 5:13
  Ivy: But like they again, the NICU had just shown up when the second baby did because they called them when we went over there, but it all happened so fast that they didn't make it in time.
• 5:23
  Ivy: So the NICU came and they both stayed right on my chest, and they looked at them, and she, you know, can't kind of came too, just a little shocked from her head being the last part out.
• 5:33
  Ivy: I just remember they're both tucked in and on my chest, and it was just like, oh my gosh, like they're out already.
• 5:39
  Ivy: And I just remember thinking like six hours ago, we were in the Duncan line, like preparing ourselves for this marathon.
• 5:46
  Ivy: Um, and so my husband sent my mom a picture, and I think he sent it a couple minutes after they were born.
• 5:55
  Ivy: So we had only been out of the room for like 10 minutes, and he sends her this picture of both of them on my chest.
• 6:00
  Ivy: And she was like, Am I being punked?
• 6:02
  Ivy: She was like, Did you have like a uh AI picture all ready to send me?
• 6:06
  Ivy: She like couldn't believe it.
• 6:08
  Ivy: And so Dr.
• 6:09
  Ivy: Fagans did like helped wrap everything up, and I delivered the placenta, which like it had fused together, and it was like crazy.
• 6:18
  Ivy: I remember I was laying there with both the babies on my chest and the scrub tech there.
• 6:24
  Ivy: Um, she's the one that did my C-section with Winnie.
• 6:27
  Ivy: And so she always like jokes that she's held my uterus in her hands, and she was there, and I was like, Well, Katie, you're not really doing anything.
• 6:34
  Ivy: So can you hold that placenta up so I can see it?
• 6:37
  Ivy: And it was just like had fused together and it was huge, and it was just like so amazing that both of those babies and that has been in my body, and like my body did that.
• 6:47
  Ivy: And so I think that it was just like another step in the healing of like trusting that my body does know what it's doing and like can support us and support me and these babies.
• 6:58
  Ivy: And so it was just it was crazy.
• 7:02
  Angela: I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator, and your host here on the My Main Birth podcast.
• 7:11
  Angela: This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine.
• 7:19
  Angela: From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 7:28
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 7:36
  Angela: Hi everyone, welcome back.
• 7:40
  Angela: This is episode 144 of My Main Birth and the first episode of season four.
• 7:46
  Angela: We are picking right back up where we left off in the discussion of how twin moms are treated and their often very limited options with another incredible twin story today.
• 8:00
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Ivy, and she is here to share all about her three pregnancy and four birth stories.
• 8:08
  Angela: Ivy is a labor and delivery nurse, and all of her births were at Eastern Maine Medical Center in Bangor.
• 8:14
  Angela: I want to give a special shout out to Dr.
• 8:18
  Angela: Claire Fagans.
• 8:19
  Angela: I live here in Old Town and I hear a lot of Bangor birth stories.
• 8:24
  Angela: I also hear a lot of local birth stories through my birth story listening sessions that I offer for anyone who wants to share their birth story privately.
• 8:33
  Angela: And I have to say, I've never heard anyone speak poorly of Dr.
• 8:37
  Angela: Fagans.
• 8:38
  Angela: In fact, quite the opposite.
• 8:40
  Angela: I hear lots of positive things about the care that she provides to women here in Bangor.
• 8:45
  Angela: So today I want to recognize her for being a provider who is supportive of women's desires to have the type of birth that they want.
• 8:54
  Angela: Of course, things don't always go as planned, but stories like this give me hope.
• 8:59
  Angela: All right, let's get into it.
• 9:02
  Angela: Hi, Ivy.
• 9:03
  Angela: Welcome to My Main Birth.
• 9:05
  Angela: Hi.
• 9:07
  Angela: Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me.
• 9:10
  Angela: I really appreciate it.
• 9:11
  Angela: Of course.
• 9:12
  Angela: Thank you for having me.
• 9:13
  Angela: I'm excited.
• 9:14
  Angela: Cool.
• 9:15
  Angela: So to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?
• 9:21
  Angela: Sure.
• 9:22
  Ivy: So my name is Ivy Gray.
• 9:23
  Ivy: We live in Hancock, Maine.
• 9:25
  Ivy: So kind of off of MDI, between MDI and Ellsworth.
• 9:29
  Ivy: We are a family of six.
• 9:31
  Ivy: So my husband's name is Adam.
• 9:33
  Ivy: He is the principal at the Hancock Grammar School.
• 9:37
  Ivy: I am an actually an OB nurse and lactation consultant.
• 9:41
  Ivy: And so I'm really passionate about birth professionally.
• 9:44
  Ivy: And then I have like all these cool birth stories myself.
• 9:48
  Ivy: I always joke that like the universe has given me every kind of birth so that I'll be a better nurse.
• 9:55
  Ivy: Um and then we have four children.
• 9:58
  Ivy: My oldest daughter is Winnie, she is five.
• 10:01
  Ivy: She's been kindergarten this year.
• 10:03
  Ivy: My middle son is Bowen, he is three.
• 10:08
  Ivy: And then I have twins, Brooks and Georgia, who will be one next month.
• 10:13
  Angela: Amazing.
• 10:14
  Angela: So yeah, jumping into birth now, would you start by sharing how you found out you were pregnant for the first time and what your thoughts were in choosing your care?
• 10:26
  Ivy: Sure.
• 10:26
  Ivy: So are Winnie.
• 10:27
  Ivy: So before my first daughter.
• 10:29
  Ivy: So when I found out I was pregnant with Winnie, we were really excited.
• 10:32
  Ivy: It is what we had hoped for.
• 10:33
  Ivy: It was pretty shortly after that miscarriage.
• 10:36
  Ivy: Um, I had gotten care for that at Downeast OBGYN in Bangor.
• 10:41
  Ivy: And so I had been working on the OB floor.
• 10:44
  Ivy: So it was kind of like I got to kind of see all the doctors in action and see how the offices worked.
• 10:49
  Ivy: And so I decided to go with them because they were smaller.
• 10:53
  Ivy: You would know more of who your provider was.
• 10:56
  Ivy: And so when we found out I was pregnant with Winnie, we were just ecstatic and we were really excited to share it with our family because um, with our miscarriage, we actually hadn't told anybody yet.
• 11:08
  Ivy: So we kind of jumped right to like telling them about the loss, which was really hard.
• 11:12
  Ivy: So we were really excited to share that we were pregnant again.
• 11:16
  Ivy: And my care team was great.
• 11:17
  Ivy: They were there through the miscarriage and they knew how excited we were to be pregnant again.
• 11:22
  Ivy: And so they got us in for like a pretty early ultrasound, which was great, and like helped kind of settle our nerves.
• 11:30
  Ivy: So that was great.
• 11:33
  Angela: Yeah.
• 11:34
  Angela: So how were things looking like as your pregnancy progressed?
• 11:37
  Angela: Like, how are your appointments going?
• 11:39
  Angela: How are you feeling?
• 11:41
  Angela: So I was pretty sick.
• 11:43
  Ivy: Um, but it almost like I feel like a bunch of people probably feel this way is that when I was sick, like it was almost like reassurance that everything was okay.
• 11:52
  Ivy: So as miserable as it was, it was kind of like, well, I feel really pregnant, so you know, we must be going okay.
• 11:58
  Ivy: At so with Winnie at our 20-week ultrasound, we found out that she had a clef-lipping palate.
• 12:04
  Ivy: And so we were really like nervous and scared.
• 12:09
  Ivy: And I think more so for my husband because he didn't know the term.
• 12:13
  Ivy: So they're telling us about it.
• 12:15
  Ivy: And I we so we're in an ultrasound, just started a normal 20-week anatomy scan, and we had some mutual connections with the ultrasound woman, and we were chatting and talking, and then all of a sudden, like you could just kind of feel the vibes change in the room.
• 12:28
  Ivy: And she said, Do you have a history of birth defects in your family?
• 12:33
  Ivy: And like our hearts just kind of sank, like, oh my gosh, what's happening?
• 12:37
  Ivy: So then she told us it was the cleflipping palette.
• 12:40
  Ivy: And I think for me, like I just got kind of weepy, you know, you don't want to hear that something is wrong with your baby, especially our first baby.
• 12:48
  Ivy: And so I got kind of weepy, and then my husband didn't know the term, so he was just like confused and scared.
• 12:55
  Ivy: And then he actually ended up Googling it, which I think is like the worst thing he could do because when you Google it, it shows, you know, kids in third world countries who never had it repaired, and it's just really scary.
• 13:06
  Ivy: And so through that ultrasound, it was you know, a lot of emotions and scared.
• 13:11
  Ivy: And then we are really glad that we had Dr.
• 13:13
  Ivy: Smith.
• 13:14
  Ivy: He came in after and he like explained everything really thoroughly and he got us right set up with the cleft team.
• 13:20
  Ivy: So it was really great that they were able to like kind of soothe us from there.
• 13:25
  Ivy: And I'm also just really grateful that you know, the ultrasound techs are so highly trained and so skilled that they were able to pick up on it so early because then we had the next half of the pregnancy to prepare and get everything we needed and like, you know, be ready for her.
• 13:41
  Angela: Yeah.
• 13:41
  Angela: So what did that look like?
• 13:45
  Ivy: So we started care in Bangor.
• 13:47
  Ivy: So during the pregnancy, we went and we met with the plastic surgeon's office that would be doing her repair.
• 13:54
  Ivy: And so we got to see like a lot of pictures of kids who had had them repaired and kind of see the process.
• 14:00
  Ivy: I was hooked up with another local mom who had a child that was a year older than Winnie that had a cleflip and palate.
• 14:06
  Ivy: And she was and continues to be amazing for that because we just kind of like hit everything right after her.
• 14:12
  Ivy: So she's like my lifeline with that.
• 14:14
  Ivy: So I'm really grateful for her and that the office was able to kind of connect us to each other.
• 14:19
  Ivy: And so, you know, other than we had a little bit higher monitoring just to make sure that there was nothing else, because sometimes clefts can be part of a syndrome.
• 14:28
  Ivy: But other than that, it kind of just continued to be a regular normal pregnancy, which was reassuring.
• 14:36
  Ivy: You know, it was nice to say, like, yes, like we know she has this birth defect, but otherwise she's just healthy, happy baby.
• 14:44
  Angela: Yeah.
• 14:45
  Angela: So how were things looking?
• 14:47
  Angela: Like more towards the end of your pregnancy than as you're getting closer to your due date.
• 14:52
  Ivy: Yeah, so we were just kind of waiting for her.
• 14:56
  Ivy: I didn't want to be induced, I just wanted to let nature kind of do its course.
• 15:00
  Ivy: So, you know, and then we had found pretty much at that point that we thought her, like we her cleft flip and palette were just isolated.
• 15:08
  Ivy: So there was no reason for anything special otherwise there.
• 15:13
  Ivy: Um, so we were really just like waiting in anticipation.
• 15:17
  Ivy: And I was watching a lot of Halloween Baking Championship on the couch waiting for her to come.
• 15:25
  Angela: Oh, that's so fun.
• 15:26
  Angela: So, yeah.
• 15:27
  Angela: So, how were those last final weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started, like for you?
• 15:33
  Angela: And yeah, how was your birth?
• 15:35
  Ivy: Yeah, it was it's just so funny to look back because like you don't know.
• 15:38
  Ivy: Like, I we I spent a couple days at home being like, I'm I feel like I'm contracting and I feel so uncomfortable, like I really feel like it's coming.
• 15:47
  Ivy: And so this was during COVID, so we couldn't have extra people in the hospital.
• 15:51
  Ivy: But my mom came up and she stayed a couple days leading up to like when it felt like it was really near.
• 15:57
  Ivy: She came and stayed with us for a while.
• 15:59
  Ivy: It was during like this weird fall storm where we didn't have power for like two days, and so she was so worried that like I wouldn't be able to get in touch with her, and so she came up and we all just kind of like camped out and waited.
• 16:12
  Ivy: And I remember every day my husband would be like, Well, should I go to work?
• 16:15
  Ivy: I'd be like, I guess.
• 16:17
  Ivy: And then finally the day came and at like four in the morning, I could tell, like, this is this is different.
• 16:25
  Ivy: I'm uncomfortable, I'm nauseous.
• 16:27
  Ivy: And so I remember I just got in the shower and I like could tell that this was different.
• 16:34
  Ivy: Um, so in like the mid-morning, we went to the office and I was five centimeters, and so we were so excited um that it was time.
• 16:42
  Ivy: So we went to Eastern Maine Medical Center, is where we had her, and I was working there at that point, so it was a lot of familiar faces, and that was really nice and able to kind of like pick and choose my care team.
• 16:56
  Ivy: Like the nurses were great about giving us nursing care and the rooms that we wanted and all that.
• 17:01
  Ivy: So that was great.
• 17:03
  Ivy: So I got there and I labored for quite a while.
• 17:07
  Ivy: I don't remember like the exact centimeters and all that for Winnie anymore.
• 17:12
  Ivy: And I had hoped to do it without an epidural.
• 17:15
  Ivy: And then they broke my water and I labored like that for a couple hours, and I was making, you know, slow but steady progress.
• 17:22
  Ivy: It was my first baby, but slow and but fine.
• 17:26
  Ivy: And then sometime in the night I changed my mind and I decided I did want the epidural.
• 17:31
  Ivy: And I remember thinking, like, oh, like I'm straying for my birth plan.
• 17:35
  Ivy: And but you know, my husband was really good at like, it's fine.
• 17:39
  Ivy: You just gotta do what you gotta do.
• 17:41
  Ivy: That's why they're there, that's why they have it.
• 17:43
  Ivy: So I got my epidural and it was great.
• 17:46
  Ivy: I remember it worked really well.
• 17:47
  Ivy: I was like, oh, this is nice.
• 17:49
  Ivy: Um and then I labored all day.
• 17:55
  Ivy: And around like 11 p.m., um, I remember I was fully dilated and I started pushing.
• 18:03
  Ivy: And so with her, I ended up pushing for four hours without really making all of that, all that progress.
• 18:12
  Ivy: The provider that was on was great.
• 18:13
  Ivy: She was really reassuring.
• 18:15
  Ivy: She let me kind of keep going, even though it wasn't super working.
• 18:20
  Ivy: I feel like in hindsight, you know, I feel like that process kind of helped made me want to learn more.
• 18:27
  Ivy: And I think that in hindsight, I could have, you know, changed positions a little more and done some other things.
• 18:33
  Ivy: But in the moment, you know, I just wanted that baby out of me.
• 18:36
  Ivy: Um, so around like two in the morning or so, they we decided to go to C-section.
• 18:44
  Ivy: And I remember just being really sad about that.
• 18:52
  Ivy: But like I, you know, I knew it was happening.
• 18:55
  Ivy: I had been pushing for four hours, like I knew it was probably on the horizon.
• 18:59
  Ivy: But I just remember, like, as a nurse, it's it's crazy because as a nurse, I know that's not true.
• 19:04
  Ivy: And I would like really strongly discourage any, but that just simply was what I was feeling.
• 19:11
  Ivy: And I also like my so my mom, she we have she has three kids, and her deliveries were like quick and vaginal, and like she was, I was always like, oh, like maybe that's what will happen.
• 19:24
  Ivy: And then I had this experience where like my first baby has a birth defect, and then I push forever, and then I have to have a C-section.
• 19:31
  Ivy: It just felt like my body was failing, you know.
• 19:35
  Ivy: Like, why can everybody else just have babies without birth defects and vaginal births?
• 19:40
  Ivy: And but mine can't do that.
• 19:42
  Ivy: And again, like I would never want anyone to feel that way.
• 19:44
  Ivy: And I now looking back on it, like I know that's just not true, but that's what I was feeling.
• 19:50
  Ivy: But then it's funny that like I had her and it all kind of just went away.
• 19:55
  Ivy: Like I saw her beautiful face and it was all worth it, and I would do it.
• 19:59
  Ivy: Million more times.
• 20:01
  Ivy: So we had the c-section in the middle of the night.
• 20:03
  Ivy: And I remember thinking that it was overwhelming, even though I knew personally every face in the room.
• 20:09
  Ivy: And I remember thinking, like, wow, this must be really scary for people who don't know every face in the room because I'm uncomfortable and scared and I know everybody here.
• 20:19
  Ivy: And then in the C-section, I just felt horrible.
• 20:24
  Ivy: Like I felt like I couldn't breathe.
• 20:26
  Ivy: I like my blood pressure dipped really low.
• 20:29
  Ivy: And it was just like, ugh, this is not fun.
• 20:32
  Ivy: This is not how I envisioned my birth.
• 20:35
  Ivy: And but again, you know, they wheeled me out of the OR, I had her in my arms, and it was just like, okay, like you really just forget about it so quick.
• 20:47
  Angela: Yeah, wow.
• 20:48
  Angela: It is.
• 20:49
  Angela: It's a lot.
• 20:50
  Angela: But it's like when you get that baby in your arm, it's like, yeah, you it was all worth it, right?
• 20:54
  Angela: Right.
• 20:55
  Angela: Oh, definitely.
• 20:56
  Angela: Yeah.
• 20:57
  Angela: So how was your like immediate postpartum after that?
• 21:00
  Angela: It was pretty good.
• 21:02
  Ivy: So with clef lip and palate, you can't breastfeed at breast very effectively because she couldn't create suction.
• 21:09
  Ivy: And providing breast milk was really, really important to me.
• 21:12
  Ivy: And this was just before the hospital kind of rolled out their donor milk for all.
• 21:17
  Ivy: So I was pumping just around the clock and I had some colostrum stored up and I was able to give her just breast milk.
• 21:23
  Ivy: I actually got a couple ounces from my sister-in-law who had had a baby a week before me.
• 21:28
  Ivy: So I gave her some of her milk while I waited for my milk to come in.
• 21:32
  Ivy: Because yeah, the hospital actually denied her from being eligible for breast milk, which again in the moment I remember being like, what the heck?
• 21:41
  Ivy: Especially since I'd worked there.
• 21:43
  Ivy: But it was a decision that made from somebody who was not there anymore.
• 21:47
  Ivy: And I think they don't know there just hadn't been the same education on donor milk at that point.
• 21:52
  Ivy: So I get it.
• 21:53
  Ivy: But I just remember being like, gosh, just like another little blow.
• 21:56
  Ivy: Um, but it all turned out fine because I was able to give her just exclusively breast milk.
• 22:02
  Ivy: And then I continued to pump for her for like 16 months, and she had breast milk until just about two.
• 22:08
  Ivy: So it ended up working, and she took bottles great and she grew great, and her surgeries went great.
• 22:15
  Ivy: I think that like I am kind of proud of myself that like I don't think of postpartum as a negative time.
• 22:24
  Ivy: Like I was happy.
• 22:25
  Ivy: I like she was just great.
• 22:28
  Ivy: And I know that you know, everybody has different postpartum struggles, but like I really feel like my mental health was just great, even through all of that.
• 22:37
  Ivy: I was just happy to be her mom.
• 22:39
  Ivy: And she was just, you know, so healthy otherwise and easy.
• 22:44
  Ivy: She was like sleeping all night so quickly.
• 22:46
  Ivy: My husband and I, she would sleep until like 11 in the morning some days.
• 22:50
  Ivy: And my husband and I would be like, Why do people say this is hard?
• 22:53
  Ivy: Like, I guess we don't get it.
• 22:54
  Ivy: And then then our son came and we were like, Oh, we get it.
• 22:57
  Ivy: Um, but yeah, I just no, I was happy and she was thriving.
• 23:02
  Ivy: And of course, like surgeries and appointments were hard, but she was such a trooper through it that it was it was good, it was great.
• 23:12
  Angela: Amazing.
• 23:13
  Angela: Oh, it's so good to hear.
• 23:14
  Angela: Yeah.
• 23:15
  Angela: So now moving into like your second story.
• 23:19
  Angela: How did you find out you were pregnant for the second time?
• 23:23
  Ivy: So the second time, um, we found out right about when my daughter was one.
• 23:27
  Ivy: I remember going into her birthday party.
• 23:32
  Ivy: And I had been like, it was in that time where you're like waiting for to attest.
• 23:36
  Ivy: And so I was just like, oh, I wonder, I wonder.
• 23:38
  Ivy: And I remember I held a baby at her birthday party, like a fresh newborn.
• 23:42
  Ivy: And she, my daughter, Winnie yelled out, like, no, no, no, no, or something.
• 23:47
  Ivy: And I was like, uh-oh, maybe that's a sign.
• 23:50
  Ivy: Um, but shortly after that, we found out we were pregnant.
• 23:53
  Ivy: I'm such a planner, and so like, I don't know, I feel like I always had like from the time Winnie was probably like six months old, I was like, this is the month we're gonna start trying because then their birthday would be then, and like all this planning.
• 24:06
  Ivy: So we were really excited again.
• 24:09
  Ivy: We knew that they were gonna be kind of close in age, but that's what we wanted.
• 24:12
  Ivy: And honestly, like, I feel like I kind of had this sense of like redeeming myself, like, which I don't want it to put it that way, because like I said, I would not trade anything that happened with Winnie, but like I almost wanted to like prove I could do it, you know, like prove I can have a vaginal delivery and prove that I can breastfeed a baby.
• 24:31
  Ivy: And like it just kind of felt like that piece of motherhood was missing.
• 24:36
  Ivy: And of course, it's not, it's not anybody's fault, but it did just feel like when I pictured myself as a little girl, like I just pictured like breastfeeding this baby and all that.
• 24:45
  Ivy: And so I was just like excited to give it another go, honestly, and see where it goes.
• 24:52
  Angela: Yeah.
• 24:53
  Angela: So what was your care team like?
• 24:55
  Angela: And what was your plan, like birth plan, like the second time around?
• 24:59
  Ivy: Yeah.
• 24:59
  Ivy: So I had started with that same office that I had started that I had my delivery with Winnie with, and I stayed with them for like the first half of my pregnancy.
• 25:09
  Ivy: And then that office actually ended up closing.
• 25:12
  Ivy: So they started to plan to close.
• 25:13
  Ivy: They had lost some providers, and they were kind of like iffy on their vaginal birth after C-section V back is what they call that.
• 25:24
  Ivy: I'm sure, you know, plan.
• 25:25
  Ivy: So, like they were kind of like not all about it, but they weren't necessarily saying no to me.
• 25:32
  Ivy: So I kind of felt like this weird, like limbo spot.
• 25:36
  Ivy: But from my very first appointment, I had said, like, that's my plan.
• 25:41
  Ivy: That's what's important to me.
• 25:42
  Ivy: I want to try for another vaginal birth.
• 25:44
  Ivy: And so I felt kind of like they weren't saying no, but they weren't saying yes.
• 25:51
  Ivy: Um, and now that I know, like at the time, I didn't know that they were working on closing.
• 25:56
  Ivy: I didn't know any of that stuff behind the scenes.
• 25:57
  Ivy: And so I was kind of just like waiting to see which way it would go.
• 26:02
  Ivy: Um, so then they announced that they were closing and that they were having some staffing problems, and they pretty much said, we won't do a V back with you.
• 26:09
  Ivy: And so I said, like, okay, then I would love to find somebody who will.
• 26:13
  Ivy: And so I ended up switching my care to Women's Healthcare of Maine.
• 26:18
  Ivy: Since I was still working in Bangor at the time, I knew all the doctors there and Claire Fagans.
• 26:23
  Ivy: Um, I don't know if you guys, yeah, you know her.
• 26:27
  Ivy: Um, she's just delightful.
• 26:28
  Ivy: And I had kind of been like asking her things.
• 26:31
  Ivy: Like I remember in the break room one day, like we were both getting some water, and I was just like, hey, what do you think about V Bag?
• 26:37
  Ivy: Like, no reason, just picking your mind.
• 26:40
  Ivy: And she was really supportive.
• 26:42
  Ivy: And I just like I had seen how she was with her patients, and she wasn't there when I had Winnie.
• 26:48
  Ivy: So I was just kind of like, wow, she's just amazing.
• 26:51
  Ivy: And so I said, I want to be switched to her.
• 26:54
  Ivy: And they were kind of like, you know, you might have to just kind of get who you get because not a lot of providers are like itching to get a kind of higher risk V Mac patient.
• 27:03
  Ivy: I was just like, Well, I hope she takes me.
• 27:05
  Ivy: And she did, and she was delightful.
• 27:07
  Ivy: And they did some really kind things, like they got me in for a like 16-week ultrasound because I was feeling really anxious about the possibility of another clef flipper palette.
• 27:18
  Ivy: And of course, it wouldn't have changed anything.
• 27:20
  Ivy: I remember a conversation with my husband.
• 27:23
  Ivy: We were pushing Winnie in the stroller, and we said, you know, like, even if we were told that every baby we would have would have a cleflipping palette, like that wouldn't change our plans.
• 27:32
  Ivy: And so I was just kind of anxious to have an answer.
• 27:35
  Ivy: So they got us in for this early ultrasound and they confirmed that he didn't.
• 27:39
  Ivy: And so just like little things to kind of calm my mind.
• 27:43
  Angela: Yeah, just like protecting that peace in pregnancy is so important.
• 27:47
  Angela: Like if getting, you know, an ultrasound four weeks earlier like gives you more peace for that extra month, that's important, you know.
• 27:54
  Angela: And yeah, something said for that.
• 27:56
  Angela: And that's amazing.
• 27:57
  Angela: You went with Dr.
• 27:57
  Angela: Faggins.
• 27:58
  Angela: I have heard lots of good things about her.
• 28:00
  Angela: Oh, she's just amazing.
• 28:01
  Angela: Yeah.
• 28:02
  Ivy: So I remember my first appointment with her.
• 28:04
  Ivy: She had like, she was like, Oh, I just read everything from your last delivery.
• 28:08
  Ivy: And she was like, and what I love about her is that she is optimistic but realistic.
• 28:15
  Ivy: Like, she's pretty much like, we're gonna try and we're gonna do everything we can.
• 28:19
  Ivy: And she's like, but like you can tell in the background, she's like alerting to like every little thing.
• 28:25
  Ivy: And so I just love that about her.
• 28:26
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, I just feel so safe with her.
• 28:29
  Ivy: And I've said that to like throughout.
• 28:31
  Ivy: So I had her for the rest of for the twins as well.
• 28:33
  Ivy: And she's just like, I don't know, I feel like I just absolutely trust her with my life.
• 28:38
  Ivy: Like, I know whatever happens, she will handle it, and she's prepared for it too.
• 28:42
  Ivy: So, like, that's what I feel like.
• 28:44
  Ivy: It's like she's not reacting to things, like she's expecting things.
• 28:48
  Ivy: So we really talked at length about this delivery plan over and over and over.
• 28:54
  Ivy: And I kept saying, Yep, I want to do it.
• 28:56
  Ivy: Yes, I want to do it.
• 28:57
  Ivy: So my husband is six, five.
• 28:59
  Ivy: He's like a big guy.
• 29:01
  Ivy: And then we were my siblings and I were all pretty big babies.
• 29:04
  Ivy: And so Bowen was really big.
• 29:07
  Ivy: He was always like 99th percentile throughout the pregnancy.
• 29:12
  Ivy: And I remember at my 30, I had an ultrasound at 32 weeks to check on my C-section scar.
• 29:18
  Ivy: And they were like, it looks great, you're healed fine, you should be great for a V back that way.
• 29:23
  Ivy: And they were like, But he's big.
• 29:24
  Ivy: And I was like, Yeah, I know.
• 29:25
  Ivy: Well, like, but ultrasounds can be off and whatever.
• 29:28
  Ivy: And so then I had another ultrasound at 36 weeks, and they were like, Well, his head measurement is like getting close to the point where it probably just won't work.
• 29:37
  Ivy: And I was just like, Well, you said close, like it's not there yet, so we're just gonna keep trudging along.
• 29:44
  Ivy: And I remember Dr.
• 29:45
  Ivy: Fagan's called me after that one, and she, you know, said the same thing like he is pretty big, he has a pretty big head, and she was like, But there's no reason not to.
• 29:55
  Ivy: And so, same thing with her him.
• 29:57
  Ivy: I I didn't want to be induced.
• 29:59
  Ivy: Dr.
• 29:59
  Ivy: Fagans didn't want to induce me because that can heighten your risk of some complications with a V-back anyway.
• 30:05
  Ivy: And so we were just kind of riding it out, and at just a couple days after 37 weeks, I went into labor with him.
• 30:14
  Ivy: I remember it was Memorial Day weekend, and I was kind of uncomfortable.
• 30:19
  Ivy: And we just had this really great weekend with our daughter.
• 30:22
  Ivy: You know, it was the weather was nice, it was hot, um, and we just like played outside and enjoyed her.
• 30:29
  Ivy: And then the Tuesday after Memorial Day, I woke up and I was like, oh, like this is like I feel weird, I don't feel very good.
• 30:39
  Ivy: Like, I wasn't having what felt like regular contractions, but I just remember being like, I don't feel good.
• 30:45
  Ivy: So I went to the office and Dr.
• 30:48
  Ivy: Fagans put me right in.
• 30:50
  Ivy: Um, another thing I love about Dr.
• 30:52
  Ivy: Fagans and her office is that one of my best friends is her nurse, and so she's like my like personal nurse.
• 31:00
  Ivy: So I'll text her and I'll be like, I don't feel good.
• 31:03
  Ivy: And she'll text me back and then she tells Dr.
• 31:05
  Ivy: Fagans and they squeeze me in, and it's nice to get to see her kind of.
• 31:10
  Ivy: Yeah.
• 31:11
  Ivy: Um, and so I went into them and I can't remember.
• 31:15
  Ivy: I was a couple centimeters dilated and contracting, and but like it wasn't so intense yet.
• 31:21
  Ivy: So they were like, just go home, like have a rest, whatever.
• 31:24
  Ivy: I remember I went to Chick-fil-A and I got a big diet, Dr.
• 31:27
  Ivy: Pepper.
• 31:27
  Ivy: And I was like, this will keep me going, it'll be fine.
• 31:30
  Ivy: And then I went home and then I went back that evening, or and then I went home and I snuggled with my daughter because she was still napping.
• 31:37
  Ivy: And so I just remember I held her for the nap and I was like just kind of soaking up the last few moments with her.
• 31:43
  Ivy: And my husband was still at work, and so we just snuggled.
• 31:47
  Ivy: And then I dropped her off at the neighbors and I went back to the office, and I had changed like two centimeters, and so they were like, All right, like it's time to go.
• 31:57
  Ivy: And I was like, Well, can I go home and give her like one more kiss?
• 31:59
  Ivy: Because we lived like five minutes from the hospital, and I was like, Let me just run home.
• 32:02
  Ivy: And so remember, I called my husband and I was like, It's baby time, time to come home.
• 32:08
  Ivy: And I remember he was like, Well, do I have time to like can I come home?
• 32:11
  Ivy: And I was like, Well, yes, like it's fine, like I'm not gonna go without you, it's fine.
• 32:14
  Ivy: And so he like frantically came home.
• 32:17
  Ivy: And um, my mom came to stay with Winnie.
• 32:21
  Ivy: And so with Bowen, we went to the hospital in the evening, and I labored all night with him.
• 32:29
  Ivy: I remember I was up for quite a while, and then I started to get really sick, like I was pukey with him.
• 32:36
  Ivy: Um, and I got an epidural, but it didn't work very well, especially since I remember with Winnie, I was like, oh, this is just like a dream once I got that, and then I didn't have this that same with Bowen, and I was just kind of like, uh, but it made it so that I could move a lot more.
• 32:52
  Ivy: So I think in hindsight, that was great.
• 32:54
  Ivy: So I remember with Bowen, I was all over the place.
• 32:57
  Ivy: Like I was on hands and knees, I was in all these places, and um, I remember this moment.
• 33:02
  Ivy: My nurse during the day that I had Bowen had a lot of ties to my husband.
• 33:09
  Ivy: And I remember being on hands and knees.
• 33:12
  Ivy: I had been laboring for what felt like forever, and they were talking about these middle school kids that they knew, like over my back.
• 33:18
  Ivy: And I was like, I'm just like naked with my butt in the air.
• 33:21
  Ivy: And my husband and this nurse are just like talking over me like it's a dinner table.
• 33:24
  Ivy: And I was like, I'm just gonna have like a two-minute cry.
• 33:27
  Ivy: And I was like, and then I'm gonna be ready to go.
• 33:28
  Ivy: So remember, I was just like, and I was fine with what they were doing.
• 33:32
  Ivy: I was happy, like I didn't want it to be like a big thing.
• 33:34
  Ivy: Like, and so I just remember being like, they're kind of distracted, had talking to each other, that's great.
• 33:39
  Ivy: And I was like, I'm just gonna give myself like a two-minute pity party, and then I'm gonna get out of hands and knees because I hate this, and I'm gonna move along.
• 33:46
  Ivy: And so that's what I did.
• 33:48
  Ivy: And then it's so funny because when I worked there, I could go back and read the notes.
• 33:52
  Ivy: And like they put something in about me being a little emotional.
• 33:55
  Ivy: So obviously they everybody noticed it anyway.
• 33:58
  Ivy: Um, and then Dr.
• 34:00
  Ivy: Fagans came in in the morning.
• 34:02
  Ivy: It was like 8 a.m.
• 34:03
  Ivy: And I, so we I had been laboring all night.
• 34:05
  Ivy: We'd like, you know, not sleeping great and just really uncomfortable.
• 34:09
  Ivy: And she came in and she said, I'm gonna run downstairs and do a quick hysterectomy, and then I'm gonna come back up and you're gonna have this baby.
• 34:16
  Ivy: And I just was like, You're gonna go take out somebody's uterus, and I still just sit there and like, wait, but I was just like, Okay.
• 34:24
  Ivy: And so we just, you know, kept kind of plugging along.
• 34:28
  Ivy: And my day nurse was just so fantastic.
• 34:30
  Ivy: She had me in all these different positions, and she told me after that, like in the middle of the surgery that Dr.
• 34:36
  Ivy: Fagans was doing, I was 10 centimeters dilated, but I was still the baby was still pretty high.
• 34:41
  Ivy: And she didn't tell me that I was 10 on purpose because she knew that I would be like, all right, like let's do it.
• 34:48
  Ivy: And so she kept telling me, like, oh, you're close, but not quite close, but not quite.
• 34:52
  Ivy: And so then it just gave me this like really great opportunity to labor down.
• 34:57
  Ivy: And so he just moved so much while I was not like actually, actually pushing.
• 35:04
  Ivy: And she had known how hard it was for me to push for four hours with Winnie and how like discouraging it was to have to push for that long, and how I was scared of that happening again.
• 35:16
  Ivy: And so I'm just so thankful that like not that she didn't lie, but she just like helped skew my perception of what was going on, and like on also like made it so that Dr.
• 35:26
  Ivy: Fagans could deliver me because she was finishing up what she was doing.
• 35:30
  Ivy: And I remember it was like oh, probably like around 10, I started to be like, this is like I could feel like I feel like I need to start pushing soon, like whatever.
• 35:41
  Ivy: And I was throwing up and uncomfortable.
• 35:44
  Ivy: And then I don't really remember this part, but I took like a 15-minute power nap.
• 35:48
  Ivy: Like if you read through my notes, it's so funny.
• 35:51
  Ivy: It's kind of like patient throwing up, like patient a little emotional, and it's just like patient snoring.
• 35:56
  Ivy: And so I took like a power nap, and then I woke up and Dr.
• 36:00
  Ivy: Fagans came in and it was like ready to go, and he was really low.
• 36:05
  Ivy: And so I remember pushing my nurse, has one leg and my husband has the other, and Dr.
• 36:11
  Ivy: Fagans pushed with me the whole time, which was so great.
• 36:13
  Ivy: She never left, she stayed there with me the whole time, and she's just such a cheerleader, so that like helped to like it was the daytime.
• 36:22
  Ivy: Like, I don't know if that makes any difference with Winnie.
• 36:24
  Ivy: It was the middle of the night, and like it was the daytime, and it was bright, and everybody was like pumped up and cheering.
• 36:30
  Ivy: And like my husband and my nurse are like sports people, so it felt like they were like cheering like like a sporting event.
• 36:37
  Ivy: Um, and so I remember I pushed through a couple contractions, and then my husband looked at me and he said, I can see him.
• 36:45
  Ivy: And I like didn't really believe him because with my daughter, they kept telling me they could see her hair, but it like really it was just, you know, like cap it coming through like some swelling.
• 36:55
  Ivy: And so I remember being like, Yeah, yeah, ha ha, whatever, like move along.
• 36:58
  Ivy: And so then I remember I pushed a couple more times and they were like, You can feel his head, he's right there.
• 37:04
  Ivy: And so I remember feeling and being like, Oh my gosh.
• 37:06
  Ivy: And I remember at one point Adam like looked at me in the eyes and he was like, He's right there, like this is going to happen.
• 37:13
  Ivy: And I remember, because I work in the hospital, so I get it.
• 37:17
  Ivy: Like, I remember they called for a baby nurse for someone to come and take care of the baby.
• 37:22
  Ivy: And I was just like, he's gonna come out.
• 37:24
  Ivy: Like, I cannot believe this.
• 37:26
  Ivy: He's going to come out.
• 37:27
  Ivy: And so he did.
• 37:30
  Ivy: He came right out quickly.
• 37:32
  Ivy: He was eight and a half pounds, but three weeks early.
• 37:35
  Ivy: So my body knew that it was time for him to come out.
• 37:38
  Ivy: Um, and he did have a big head, but it was fine.
• 37:41
  Ivy: And I just remember like they put him on my chest, and I just cried and I was so happy.
• 37:46
  Ivy: Like in the moment, it was just so healing.
• 37:50
  Ivy: Like it was just like, I can do it, and I did it, and he's here and he's perfect.
• 37:56
  Ivy: And so there's like these just really beautiful pictures of me, like with him on my chest, and I'm crying, and oh, it was just amazing.
• 38:02
  Ivy: And he latched like two seconds after he was born.
• 38:07
  Ivy: He like latched right on, and I remember my husband's like taking pictures, and we were so excited, and then I don't think he unlatched for like two and a half years after that, and so that was also really healing, but oh, I it was just amazing, and I felt so good.
• 38:24
  Ivy: I didn't, I had like maybe a little tiny tear, like I had barely any tearing.
• 38:29
  Ivy: And I'll we'll do a quick plug during my whole pregnancy, I was so strict with doing every spinning baby move, and I did it religiously every night for months and months and months, and I swear that helped.
• 38:43
  Ivy: Like just the difference between Winnie's birth and his birth, and his head was actually an inch bigger than Winnie's as well.
• 38:49
  Ivy: And so I just am like such a firm believer in that because it was just like perfect.
• 38:55
  Ivy: I pushed for half an hour, I didn't really tear.
• 38:57
  Ivy: It was just amazing.
• 39:00
  Angela: Yeah, oh my goodness, yeah.
• 39:01
  Angela: The spinning babies is definitely definitely check that out, anyone that's listening.
• 39:06
  Angela: Yes, and I really think that's so incredible.
• 39:08
  Angela: Like that there's really something to be said for the laboring down time.
• 39:12
  Angela: And you know, like even when you're 10 centimeters, like to just let yourself go through a few more contractions or you know, until you really need to push.
• 39:19
  Angela: Yeah, so that you're not pushing for too long, right?
• 39:21
  Angela: Because wow, that's right, incredible.
• 39:24
  Ivy: Yeah, it was oh yeah, I was just it was amazing.
• 39:28
  Ivy: I can't say enough about it and how great that care team was.
• 39:31
  Ivy: And yeah, it just felt like I don't know, like it felt like I was like complete in motherhood, and not that like Winnie wasn't enough or any, I don't want it to feel like that, but it was just like that little piece was missing and it clicked into feet to place, and it was just perfect.
• 39:49
  Angela: Yeah.
• 39:49
  Angela: Oh, amazing.
• 39:51
  Angela: So uh yeah, how was your postpartum with him?
• 39:54
  Angela: Also was still really good.
• 39:57
  Ivy: He was a little bit needier of a baby, which Was fine and different.
• 40:01
  Ivy: And like part of me, I think created that because I just loved nursing so much that like anytime he would make a peep, I'd be like, Okay, I guess you have to nurse.
• 40:08
  Ivy: Like, let's do it.
• 40:09
  Ivy: Um, and so I think that I kind of created that, but it was fine, and I was just like so happy that it was working.
• 40:16
  Ivy: And I physically I felt so much better than I did physically postpartum with Winnie because the C-section was just way harder to recover from.
• 40:26
  Ivy: And so I'm really like in awe of people who have c-sections when they have other kids at home.
• 40:32
  Ivy: Because I just remember thinking like I felt physically really bad after Winnie and like trying to take care of a toddler or a little kid when you feel that way.
• 40:44
  Ivy: I was just like, if you have done that, you are amazing and like tougher than I am, because that's just so great if you can do that to the children's museum when Bowen was like a week old.
• 40:58
  Ivy: Cause I was like, I don't know, I feel fine, like you just recover so much faster.
• 41:03
  Ivy: And I was so lucky to have not torn, so I wasn't like sore that way.
• 41:08
  Ivy: And breastfeeding had been going really well.
• 41:10
  Ivy: So I was just, yeah, I felt really good.
• 41:14
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, it felt like cute little happy family.
• 41:17
  Ivy: And my daughter was such a little, she was only just over one and a half, and she was so cute and like enthralled with him.
• 41:23
  Ivy: And so it was really good.
• 41:26
  Ivy: Yeah.
• 41:27
  Ivy: I don't have many complaints really.
• 41:29
  Ivy: That's awesome.
• 41:31
  Angela: So good.
• 41:32
  Angela: Yeah.
• 41:33
  Angela: So how did you find out you were pregnant now for the third time?
• 41:37
  Angela: And what was your thoughts?
• 41:40
  Ivy: Yeah, so like I said, I'm such a planner.
• 41:42
  Ivy: So we knew we wanted to spread this baby and the next baby out a little more than we did the first two.
• 41:48
  Ivy: Like they were they were pretty close in age, and doing that again, I think, would have been a lot just on my body, too.
• 41:54
  Ivy: And so we decided to spread them out a little bit.
• 41:57
  Ivy: So with this pregnancy, I actually it was our first time not getting pregnant on the first try.
• 42:05
  Ivy: So with the miscarriage and then with Winnie and then with Bowen, we got pregnant on the first month that we tried.
• 42:10
  Ivy: And so we didn't.
• 42:12
  Ivy: And I remember being like, what?
• 42:14
  Ivy: And like again, the nurse and the rational human being in me is like, it normally takes couples a couple months, and I'm really lucky and to have been able to just get pregnant so quickly.
• 42:25
  Ivy: And you know, we have friends that it's taken them much longer and they get there.
• 42:28
  Ivy: And so I just remember being like, okay, that's annoying.
• 42:31
  Ivy: And like I kind of kept testing, like being like, it's gonna pop up, it will pop up.
• 42:36
  Ivy: And then it didn't.
• 42:37
  Ivy: I was just like, ugh, okay.
• 42:39
  Ivy: So then again, the planner in me did the math, and the next month would have put me at 38 weeks on Christmas, and I had both of my other babies between 37 and 38 weeks.
• 42:50
  Ivy: And I was like, I can't miss Christmas with my two babies, and so I was like, We're gonna pause for a month.
• 42:54
  Ivy: And so my poor husband is just like getting whiplash, and he's just like, okay, like whatever, you tell me.
• 42:59
  Ivy: He knew we both wanted another baby.
• 43:01
  Ivy: He's like, Okay, fine.
• 43:03
  Ivy: He thinks this is like a lot of planning for something that people probably don't do it the way I do it, but this is how we do it.
• 43:08
  Ivy: So um, and then so then the next month comes and I'm like, okay, we're gonna try again.
• 43:13
  Ivy: And so I remember when it was a like a week before, or not quite a week, like before my period was due.
• 43:24
  Ivy: So it was pretty early.
• 43:26
  Ivy: And I started to get like my first pregnancy symptom with all the pregnancies was that like I have this little hint of like stomach upset that's not like it's almost nausea, but it's not like it's enough that I recognize it.
• 43:39
  Ivy: And so I remember I had that, and I was just like, hmm, it was a couple days before my son's second birthday.
• 43:47
  Ivy: And I was like, no, I think that this is just like my mind playing tricks on me.
• 43:51
  Ivy: It's too early, I wouldn't be feeling this way yet.
• 43:54
  Ivy: And so I took a test, and I think I was only like three weeks and four days, technically.
• 43:59
  Ivy: And I took a test and it like quickly popped up positive.
• 44:02
  Ivy: And I was just like, Oh my gosh, like that's like not what I expected.
• 44:06
  Ivy: Like, I thought it was gonna not be there.
• 44:08
  Ivy: And so I was like, didn't trust it.
• 44:09
  Ivy: So I remember I showed it to my husband, and I was like, I don't know, I don't believe it.
• 44:14
  Ivy: And he was like, I guess I don't get why you wouldn't believe it.
• 44:17
  Ivy: And I'm like, I don't know, it's just it's too early, it doesn't make any sense.
• 44:21
  Ivy: And I was like, but I'm having that like feeling that I get whenever I'm early pregnant.
• 44:25
  Ivy: And he was just like, I don't know.
• 44:27
  Ivy: And so then, like, I remember we were laying in bed that night, and he was like, So what are we are we saying you're pregnant or are we like just not talking about it?
• 44:33
  Ivy: And I was like, I think we're just not talking about it.
• 44:35
  Ivy: And so then I waited a day or two and I tested again and it had gotten darker, and I was like, Okay, yeah, this is definitely pregnant.
• 44:42
  Ivy: And so we were excited again, and we were like, maybe this time we'll like keep it a secret for a little while, even to our families, just see how things go.
• 44:53
  Ivy: And so a couple of days later, so right when I was just after four weeks, I started to get sick.
• 45:00
  Ivy: Like I was nauseous, I couldn't eat anything, I was throwing up, and I was like so tired.
• 45:07
  Ivy: My husband was like concerned.
• 45:09
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, I feel like I would like survive the day until he got back, and then I would just sleep and I could go to bed at 4 p.m.
• 45:16
  Ivy: and I could sleep all the way until like the next day.
• 45:19
  Ivy: I was just couldn't keep my eyes open, was so exhausted.
• 45:23
  Ivy: And then, like around like five weeks is when I started really being sick and throwing up a lot and like just all over fatigue.
• 45:31
  Ivy: Like, if started like I was like not functioning very well.
• 45:34
  Ivy: So then at like six or so weeks, I put a call into Dr.
• 45:39
  Ivy: Fagan's office saying, like, I don't know, I don't feel I really don't feel good.
• 45:43
  Ivy: Like I already am by my other pregnancies, I didn't get sick until like six or seven weeks, like, and I'm already really sick.
• 45:49
  Ivy: And so they prescribed me something, and you know, it it kind of didn't really help.
• 45:56
  Ivy: So at eight weeks, they got me in for my ultrasound.
• 46:00
  Ivy: I guess usually they do it between like eight and twelve for that first week, and they were like, Well, you're really sick, and you have the history of a C-section, and so we'll just get you in right at eight weeks and see what's going on.
• 46:10
  Ivy: I also remember I asked the secretary um who would see that I called to say that I was sick because I didn't know if my friend would find out through this.
• 46:17
  Ivy: And they were like, No, I don't think she will.
• 46:19
  Ivy: And she did, and she's so cute, and she didn't say anything to me about it until I texted her.
• 46:25
  Ivy: Um, and so she had already known, and I think she was just kind of waiting.
• 46:29
  Ivy: So she's the one that actually like put in these meds for me.
• 46:31
  Ivy: And I was like, you should just texted me.
• 46:33
  Ivy: So we go to our eight-week ultrasound.
• 46:37
  Ivy: Um, and I was just nervous again.
• 46:39
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, I didn't feel right.
• 46:41
  Ivy: I was like, something doesn't feel right.
• 46:43
  Ivy: I was worried they were gonna find something like that is making me so sick that wasn't gonna be good.
• 46:48
  Ivy: And so I just remember like I kept saying that to my husband, and he was just like, Well, we're gonna find out, it's we're gonna see, it's whatever it is, we'll handle it, it's gonna be fine.
• 46:55
  Ivy: So we dropped our children off, and we have these people who used to be our neighbors in Bangor and they love our kids.
• 47:02
  Ivy: And so they took them and we just said, Oh, we're just going out to lunch.
• 47:06
  Ivy: Um, we're gonna have a little date.
• 47:08
  Ivy: Thanks for watching the kids, whatever.
• 47:09
  Ivy: And so we go to the office and we go up to the ultrasound room.
• 47:12
  Ivy: And this is my first early ultrasound at um Dr.
• 47:16
  Ivy: Fagan's office because I had started the other two, and so it was kind of new.
• 47:20
  Ivy: And I was telling her about my anxiety around ultrasounds after finding Winnie's cleft.
• 47:25
  Ivy: And so I was like, it's you know, kind of best for me if you kind of just like talk, you know, like kind of let me know what you're seeing.
• 47:33
  Ivy: And she was so lovely and great and chatty.
• 47:36
  Ivy: So she's looking, and I lay back.
• 47:38
  Ivy: And I remember my husband is kind of like sitting up in the side chair and holding my hand, and I'm nervous.
• 47:42
  Ivy: And so she puts the ultrasound on and she goes, Oh, there's a healthy, happy heartbeat right here.
• 47:47
  Ivy: Like, let's listen to it.
• 47:48
  Ivy: It's one something, 140, whatever.
• 47:51
  Ivy: It's it sounds great.
• 47:52
  Ivy: And I just like remember feeling so relieved and just like, oh, and my husband looked at me and he said, See, now we can just lay back and relax.
• 48:00
  Ivy: And he like kicked the feet up in his chair, and he's like laying back in the ultrasound room, and he's like, see, this is just gonna be great from here on out.
• 48:10
  Ivy: And so like 30 seconds pass, and she goes, Yep, there's a healthy, happy heartbeat.
• 48:16
  Ivy: And like we're just kind of sitting and waiting.
• 48:19
  Ivy: And I said, The same heartbeat, and she was like, Nope.
• 48:25
  Ivy: And we I was like, Oh my gosh.
• 48:27
  Ivy: And I think it took my husband like a second, like he was like behind, like he was like looking at me, kind of confused, and then he was like, Oh my gosh, and he just kept saying, like, holy F word over and over and over.
• 48:39
  Ivy: And we were like, This is crazy, and like you could tell like the ultrasound tech was kind of exciting.
• 48:44
  Ivy: Like, she's probably like it's probably fun for her to find twins, and she was like exciting, and so she's looking at that heartbeat, and she's like, So she was like, Now um, I'm gonna have to go back, and we're gonna have to start over and label everything between the babies.
• 48:59
  Ivy: And she was like, But first, I'm gonna have to search the rest of your uterus to make sure there's nothing else in there, and I'm being like, nothing else in there, like there hope there's not anything else in there, and so she's looking, and like at that point, like my head was spiraling, like any babies have to be like that's so dangerous and like scary.
• 49:17
  Ivy: And so then she said it was just the two, and I was like, ah, like, okay, but oh my gosh.
• 49:26
  Ivy: And so my husband is like white as a ghost, and he says, he looks at the ultrasound tech and he's like, um, so I just have a question, and she was like, What?
• 49:36
  Ivy: And he was like, Is it still early enough that one could like eat the other or what?
• 49:42
  Ivy: And I was like, I don't, and the ultrasound tech was like, No, they won't eat each other, and he was like, I'm not saying I wanted it, he was like, I'm just like making sure that we're all on the same page, like this is two babies in there for good, and she was like, Yep.
• 49:56
  Ivy: And so she kind of went on to explain that they were in their own sex, they had their own placentas, like they both had everything they needed.
• 50:04
  Ivy: They were just like sharing the womb.
• 50:06
  Ivy: Like she kind of helped break it down for my husband, too.
• 50:08
  Ivy: And she said that they were the lowest risk type of twins, and so that was reassuring.
• 50:14
  Ivy: And she got those the pictures where there's the little A and the little B next to it.
• 50:20
  Angela: Anyone who's listening, so those are die die twins, correct?
• 50:24
  Ivy: Yes, yes, so that was yes, die-die twins.
• 50:28
  Ivy: So that was exciting and like relieving, you know.
• 50:31
  Ivy: And so they they were like, Everything looks good, you're healthy, that's probably why you've been so sick.
• 50:40
  Ivy: And they were like measuring really, really close to each other, like I think a day apart.
• 50:46
  Ivy: And so that's like another really reassuring thing.
• 50:49
  Ivy: And so we they left, and I remember we just like stared at each other for a long time, and they were like, we were like, I guess we'll just go pick up the kids from these people who think we're just having lunch.
• 51:01
  Ivy: And so we went there and we weren't ready to tell people yet.
• 51:06
  Ivy: And we picked them up, and we they were probably like, they look ill.
• 51:12
  Ivy: Um, but so we went home and we just like couldn't believe it.
• 51:17
  Ivy: And we had these pictures, and my daughter grabbed the ultrasound pictures and she's like looking at them and she was like, What is this?
• 51:23
  Ivy: And I was just like, they didn't know yet.
• 51:25
  Ivy: And I was like, Oh, oh, just a picture, and she was like, Oh, it's a picture of Zaboomafoo, you know, like the lemur from that show, and I was like, Yeah, so for a long time, Winnie just kept saying, like, the pictures were Zaboomafoo, and we thought that was so funny.
• 51:41
  Ivy: Yeah, so then I just kept just dating, I guess, and I was really sick still, and we trialed all these meds, and it was hard being sick with the two kids.
• 51:52
  Ivy: And I remember one time I was throwing up, and my daughter came in and she looked at me, she said, Oh, you're throwing up again.
• 52:03
  Ivy: Anyway, can I have a snack?
• 52:04
  Ivy: I was like, Yeah, I'll be right with you.
• 52:08
  Ivy: So normalized, yeah, right.
• 52:11
  Ivy: Like, oh, just what she's doing.
• 52:12
  Ivy: Um, but we went to our next appointment, our 12-week appointment with Dr.
• 52:18
  Ivy: Fagans, and she did a bedside ultrasound every appointment that we had with them.
• 52:24
  Ivy: And so that was kind of reassuring just to be able to see them both and see that they were fine.
• 52:28
  Ivy: And I remember at that 12-week appointment, like they both looked like babies, and you could see them in there like together, and it was just like really made it real.
• 52:38
  Ivy: Like, I think I don't know, that first 12 weeks, like you just kind of try to protect yourself, like you don't know, you don't know.
• 52:44
  Ivy: And then you I saw them as two babies, and we were like, Yeah, there's really two babies in there.
• 52:51
  Angela: Oh my goodness.
• 52:53
  Angela: So, how were things looking as your pregnancy progressed?
• 52:57
  Ivy: Yeah, it was going really well.
• 52:59
  Ivy: They were big for twins, but I mean, not as big compared to my other babies, but they were growing well and they were always staying like right neck and neck with each other.
• 53:08
  Ivy: I remember when I first started feeling them kick, that was like pretty early, like 13 or 14 weeks.
• 53:15
  Ivy: And then that was exciting.
• 53:17
  Ivy: And then it was fun, like as I got bigger and like kind of more aware of what they were doing, like I could tell who was doing what.
• 53:26
  Ivy: And so we did the early blood test with them.
• 53:30
  Ivy: And so with twins, like since the test is looking at chromosomes, it can only tell you if it detects Y chromosomes, which means boy.
• 53:41
  Ivy: And they can't tell you if it's detecting two babies' worth or just one.
• 53:46
  Ivy: So we got the results back and it did detect Y chromosomes.
• 53:50
  Ivy: So we were like, okay, at least one of them is a boy.
• 53:54
  Ivy: And so we were really eager.
• 53:58
  Ivy: Like we had found out really early, and we had named the both Witty and Bowen before we even announced them.
• 54:04
  Ivy: Like we found out their gender, we named them.
• 54:06
  Ivy: Like, and so it was like eating us alive to not know.
• 54:09
  Ivy: So at 16 weeks, we went to Dr.
• 54:13
  Ivy: Fagan's again, and my mom came for that one.
• 54:17
  Ivy: We my husband couldn't make it, and so she pulled out the ultrasound, and we're all like squinting and looking.
• 54:23
  Ivy: And she's at first, she was like, I think they're both boys.
• 54:26
  Ivy: And then like five minutes later, she was like, No, I think this one's a girl.
• 54:30
  Ivy: And so we were like looking, and it's harder like with her bedside ultrasound to keep track of who is who and where is where.
• 54:36
  Ivy: And so we were looking, and then she finally was like, Okay, I think that this one's a I think that baby A is a boy, and I think that baby B is a girl.
• 54:46
  Ivy: And we were like, okay, and she was like, but don't monogram anything, like, don't paint things, like, don't don't really quote me on this.
• 54:54
  Ivy: And she was like, Because I don't know for sure.
• 54:56
  Ivy: And so I texted my husband.
• 54:58
  Ivy: We had a nap said we were having twins at this point, and he announces it to his whole school.
• 55:02
  Ivy: He's like, We're having boy girl twins, and everyone's so excited.
• 55:06
  Ivy: And we started getting like cute little boy girl outfits, and I was like, Oh my gosh, I hope she's not wrong.
• 55:11
  Ivy: And I was like, She literally told us not to do this.
• 55:14
  Ivy: So then we went to the anatomy scan and they confirmed it.
• 55:18
  Ivy: She was right, so she was happy to hear that.
• 55:21
  Ivy: And so the anatomy scan was like an all-day affair.
• 55:27
  Ivy: We were there for like four hours.
• 55:30
  Ivy: They couldn't get it done, like they were just moving so much and wiggling, and they wouldn't show their spots.
• 55:35
  Ivy: And I had me doing all these like acrobatics in the room, and it was just a really long time, and then I still had to go back.
• 55:42
  Ivy: But we finally got the report that everything looked great, everyone was fine, and so it was fun to kind of get to like go through, I don't know, like counting their little fingers and toes and stuff, you know.
• 55:54
  Ivy: It just it was so fun and like helped us, I don't know, bond with them almost to like kind of learn about their position.
• 56:02
  Ivy: So then the pregnancy kept progressing.
• 56:06
  Ivy: I finally stopped being sick at like 20-ish weeks or so.
• 56:09
  Ivy: So I had this like kind of nice like fall where I wasn't too huge yet and I wasn't throwing up and like the weather was colder because we were all summer.
• 56:18
  Ivy: I was just like, oh my gosh, it's so hot.
• 56:20
  Ivy: So we had like a nice fall where I was, yeah, we were happy and everything was good and I felt better.
• 56:26
  Ivy: And it was so fun to be able to like feel them kind of kick at each other and feel their different body parts.
• 56:31
  Ivy: So then as the pregnancy kept going, they were both breach, they were both like sitting with their little butts on my cervix with their heads up here, and I could like feel them.
• 56:42
  Ivy: So like I could feel their little bowling ball heads on each side under my ribs, and I was like, ugh.
• 56:47
  Ivy: So then I really started the spinning babies again, and I worked at it and worked at it, and at like 32 weeks, they were both head down, and I remember being like, hooray, awesome!
• 57:01
  Angela: So if you know I'm asking, like, so when you found out you were having twins, like what was your thoughts as far as like a birth plan goes?
• 57:09
  Angela: Like, what were your like hopes and like goals?
• 57:12
  Ivy: Yeah, I still wanted a vaginal delivery.
• 57:14
  Ivy: I remember I said that, and I Dr.
• 57:17
  Ivy: Fagans knew that.
• 57:18
  Ivy: I remember I didn't see her until like 13 weeks.
• 57:22
  Ivy: So there was a while between when I found out it was twins and when I saw her, but she sent me a little note like, we'll talk about VBAC.
• 57:29
  Ivy: It's not it's not out of the question, like it's still a possibility.
• 57:32
  Ivy: And I just remember being like, okay, good, because I like spent a lot of time like googling it and reading stories, and like it seemed like it was still a thing.
• 57:40
  Ivy: And so I had wanted that same thing.
• 57:43
  Ivy: Like, I remember saying to Adam, like, I of course will do another C section, and I if the risks are there and I have to do it, but I was like, but it really feels like I don't have to, like, so I don't want that to be my plan.
• 57:57
  Ivy: Like, I just I want my plan to be vaginally.
• 58:00
  Ivy: Um, and I remember that first appointment with Dr.
• 58:03
  Ivy: Fagans, and she did her classic, optimistic but cautious, and you're gonna we're gonna all be on the same page here and know what you're doing.
• 58:11
  Ivy: And I just like appreciate how protective she is, too.
• 58:16
  Ivy: Like with Bowen's birth, she wasn't the doctor who was supposed to be delivering babies that day.
• 58:21
  Ivy: That's why she had to go downstairs and do that hysterectomy, but she just like squeezed me in because she knew my plan and I knew my plan and we knew how to work with each other.
• 58:30
  Ivy: And it was like she would not that anyone else would do it wrong, but like she wanted it done right in the way that we had kind of planned.
• 58:37
  Ivy: And so I felt like she was kind of feeling that same way with the twins.
• 58:42
  Angela: Um plus when you're working with someone throughout your pregnancy, it's so nice to have like that person like at the birth, too, right?
• 58:49
  Ivy: Like you're working with all along, so right, like yeah, like she's the one that heard all of my our fears, all our conversations the whole time, and so yeah, so she was you know cautiously optimistic, telling me the deal, and we've pretty much settled on if baby A is head down, then all things go.
• 59:11
  Ivy: And so I remember that ultrasound where both babies were breached, and I was like, ah, and she like same thing.
• 59:16
  Ivy: She was like, It's like you still have time, it's gonna be fine, you're gonna do these things, and we'll see what happens.
• 59:22
  Ivy: And I didn't like we weren't gonna, you know, you can like do a version where you try to move the babies, and we were not gonna do that, so we were just hoping they would do it on their own.
• 59:35
  Ivy: So then we kind of had these same conversations every time.
• 59:39
  Ivy: And I remember we forgot one time to like sign all the consents because I have to sign like the special V back consent.
• 59:46
  Ivy: And I did pre sign the C section consent just in case anything would happen and whatever.
• 59:50
  Ivy: And I remember she like sat down and she was like, Okay, we're gonna have the same conversation we've had over and over.
• 59:54
  Ivy: And she was like, But I like I really feel like we're on the same page here.
• 59:56
  Ivy: And I was like, Yeah, like the goal is vaginal.
• 59:59
  Ivy: If anything happens, we will change that plan.
• 1:00:03
  Ivy: With twins, they have you deliver in the OR anyway.
• 1:00:08
  Ivy: So we were gonna be right there if anything were to happen.
• 1:00:12
  Ivy: And we kind of agreed that like the worst case scenario in the realm of, you know, of course, there are always really worst case scenarios, but like in the realm of normal worst case scenarios, um, would be that I have one baby vagina and one baby C-section.
• 1:00:25
  Ivy: And she was like, if you know that risk and understand that risk, then so be it.
• 1:00:29
  Ivy: And I was like, I do, and I hope that doesn't happen.
• 1:00:32
  Ivy: And like if there's anything that's pointing to that's gonna happen before we have the first baby, like we'll pivot the plan, but that's we're just going.
• 1:00:41
  Ivy: So then towards I started having weekly ultrasounds at like 32 weeks because they were twins.
• 1:00:46
  Ivy: And so we went to one and baby A had flipped, and I had really thought that he did too.
• 1:00:52
  Ivy: Like I could feel feet, and I knew that baby B, which was Georgia, I knew she had not, I could feel that noggin like right up in the middle of my abdomen.
• 1:01:01
  Ivy: And so when he flipped, it was kind of like put us back on the course.
• 1:01:05
  Ivy: Like, we're gonna be fine, and we're not gonna schedule a C section.
• 1:01:09
  Ivy: Like, we had kind of talked about getting me on the books at that 32-week appointment when they were both breached, like just so I had a spot.
• 1:01:16
  Ivy: But we decided to like wait, and then by the next week, he was head down, and so we didn't schedule it.
• 1:01:22
  Ivy: And I think that's like also kind of her showing me, like, I trust you, like it's we're not we're not putting you in the books because you don't need it.
• 1:01:29
  Ivy: And so then we set an induction date for 38 weeks on the dot.
• 1:01:35
  Ivy: And starting at like 36 weeks, I started to have just so much predromal labor.
• 1:01:43
  Ivy: Like it would feel like every night or for periods at a time, I would just have like painful contractions and they would be regular.
• 1:01:50
  Ivy: And I I would be like, I'm gonna go rest.
• 1:01:53
  Ivy: I'm gonna go to bed, and then I'd wake up and they'd be gone, and I'd be like, ugh.
• 1:01:56
  Ivy: And so it felt like everyone, like my it was so funny.
• 1:01:59
  Ivy: My phone was just like blowing up constantly.
• 1:02:02
  Ivy: Like, how are you doing?
• 1:02:04
  Ivy: Are you still pregnant?
• 1:02:04
  Ivy: Are you still pregnant?
• 1:02:06
  Ivy: And so then at like 37 weeks and some change, it started to get more intense.
• 1:02:12
  Ivy: And I went to an appointment and I was only like one centimeter dilated at this, like just regular check because I wanted to know.
• 1:02:20
  Ivy: Like, I'm also one of those people that like it motivates me to know, so I don't mind cervical exams because like I want to know.
• 1:02:28
  Ivy: And so I had one and I was only like one, and I was like, Oh my gosh! And then like 37 and a half came, and I was like, How am I carrying these twins longer than I carried my last pregnancy?
• 1:02:41
  Ivy: Like, this is crazy.
• 1:02:42
  Ivy: But they're just happy in there, and you know, same kind of thing.
• 1:02:46
  Ivy: It felt like every day, like my husband would answer my phone calls so quick at school, like usually so busy, he doesn't answer me.
• 1:02:53
  Ivy: And like I'd call and he'd be like, ugh, and then it would be nothing, and they'd be like, Okay.
• 1:02:56
  Ivy: So then it was the day before my induction, or two days before my induction, and I wasn't feeling well, and I was like, Maybe if I go and Dr.
• 1:03:08
  Ivy: Fagans will just like sweep my membranes, if that will help like make it happen.
• 1:03:13
  Ivy: Like it felt like I was just like on the cusp for so long.
• 1:03:17
  Ivy: Like it wasn't quite labor, but it wasn't like nothing.
• 1:03:21
  Ivy: And so I did, and she sent my memories, and she was like, Well, I haven't really changed from the last time you were here.
• 1:03:26
  Ivy: And I was like, Oh, but I've been having so many contractions, like they're for nothing.
• 1:03:30
  Ivy: Um, and she was like, No, like they're for something, it's gonna be fine.
• 1:03:33
  Ivy: And so we talked about some ways to like kind of tuck my belly, which will help bring Brooks, the baby A, lower.
• 1:03:41
  Ivy: Like, we talked about some ways, and so she swept my membranes on Wednesday.
• 1:03:47
  Ivy: I went home Thursday night.
• 1:03:49
  Ivy: I like was waking up from contractions, and I remember being like, Oh, like I keep waking up, and then I was just like, ah, like, yay, I keep waking up.
• 1:03:59
  Ivy: And so I kind of lounged, and my husband on Thursday, he didn't go to school.
• 1:04:04
  Ivy: Like, we were kind of waiting, and I took a nap, and finally I texted Lindsay, my friend, who's Fagan's nurse, and I kind of told her, and she was like, Yep, you need to come in, we're gonna make you an appointment, whatever.
• 1:04:16
  Ivy: And so I was like, Okay.
• 1:04:17
  Ivy: So we hung out, and I was like starting to feel like that kind of like nausea, like starting to feel like it was real again.
• 1:04:24
  Ivy: And so my husband didn't have his laptop, he had left it at home, and I was like, You goose, like you every day you should know that you might not be coming back.
• 1:04:32
  Ivy: So he ran by the school to grab it, and he was like, they just ran me out of there.
• 1:04:39
  Ivy: They were like, get out, go back to the car.
• 1:04:41
  Ivy: You need to like get your pregnant with twins' wife to the hospital.
• 1:04:45
  Ivy: And so we're driving up there, and so at this point we lived on MDI, so it was like in a little over an hour drive.
• 1:04:52
  Ivy: So we got our kids all situated where they needed to be, and we drove up to the hospital.
• 1:04:57
  Ivy: And this was like probably three or four in the afternoon, like in the middle of the afternoon.
• 1:05:03
  Ivy: And I remember my husband was like, Can we stop at Duncan on the way?
• 1:05:07
  Ivy: Because I just remember the last two times it was so like into the night, and I was, he's like, This time I'm gonna be prepared.
• 1:05:13
  Ivy: Like this time, I'm I know this is gonna be a long haul.
• 1:05:16
  Ivy: We're gonna be prepared, we're doing it, it's gonna be great.
• 1:05:18
  Ivy: And I was like, Yeah, sure, whatever.
• 1:05:19
  Ivy: I was still like like happy talkie labor, you know, like that part of labor.
• 1:05:25
  Ivy: And so I was like, sure, whatever.
• 1:05:27
  Ivy: So we get to the office, and I had changed, I was like four and a half centimeters, and so they sent me right to OB and I got all tucked in.
• 1:05:36
  Ivy: Um, and I had the nurse for a couple hours that I had with Bowen.
• 1:05:39
  Ivy: So that was really nice to get to see her again.
• 1:05:43
  Ivy: And I just remember with my early labor with the twins, like I was first of all, I was really happy to not be induced because I was worried about that.
• 1:05:53
  Ivy: I had never been induced before with VBAC and twins, like I just really didn't want to.
• 1:05:58
  Ivy: So I just remember being so happy, like, yay, I don't have to be induced.
• 1:06:01
  Ivy: So I'm laboring, I'm up on the ball and like hanging out.
• 1:06:06
  Ivy: And my husband and I were playing checkers on our phone, like, and then it was starting to be where like I was fine in the middle of contractions, but during the contraction, I wasn't so fine.
• 1:06:18
  Ivy: So, like in between, we were happy and joking and talking, and then it felt like that changed really quick.
• 1:06:26
  Ivy: So they came in and they broke my water.
• 1:06:30
  Ivy: I think they broke my water when I was a little over five.
• 1:06:33
  Ivy: So, like I hadn't changed that much in since I had been there.
• 1:06:37
  Ivy: So they broke my water and then it got really intense really fast.
• 1:06:42
  Ivy: And my husband was like, we were like mid-checkers around, and then it was like, Nope, done with checkers.
• 1:06:48
  Ivy: Like, this is like focus labor time.
• 1:06:50
  Ivy: And so it got really intense really fast.
• 1:06:54
  Ivy: I was contracting a lot.
• 1:06:55
  Ivy: I had so much water, like, I don't know whether it was just like both of them, but only baby A, like they break baby A's water at that, because like they can't reach baby B's water, so they break just his water.
• 1:07:08
  Ivy: So I still have one, you know, still intact bag in there.
• 1:07:11
  Ivy: And I just remember like I was up on the ball and I was like walking, and it just felt like not like panic, but just like like really intense.
• 1:07:18
  Ivy: And I don't remember it being that intense with the first two because they were kind of long and slow, and so it had just gotten so intense really fast.
• 1:07:27
  Ivy: But they checked me like and they broke my water, I don't even know what time, but like they checked me like 45 minutes to an hour after they broke my water because it had been really intense, and I hadn't really changed.
• 1:07:38
  Ivy: And I was like, okay, I'm not getting an epidural yet because I don't want to be trapped in this bed.
• 1:07:45
  Ivy: And in my head, I was still thinking, like, it's gonna be tomorrow morning before I have these babies.
• 1:07:49
  Ivy: Like, so I was like, I can't be trapped in this bed, I'm not gonna do it yet.
• 1:07:54
  Ivy: I'm just gonna wait.
• 1:07:55
  Ivy: And they didn't like encourag, well, they kind of encouraged me.
• 1:07:58
  Ivy: They didn't say I had to to have the epidural so that they could use it if something happened in this first C section.
• 1:08:08
  Ivy: Because if I didn't have it, then there was a higher risk of having general surgery, and so like being completely put out, and I really didn't want that, and I had probably wanted the epidural anyway, so I had planned to get it, but I was trying to hold off.
• 1:08:21
  Ivy: Like I said, I didn't want to be stuck in the bed all night long, and so I held off, I held off, and it was getting really intense and I was really uncomfortable.
• 1:08:30
  Ivy: And so for this labor, this was the first time it wasn't COVID.
• 1:08:33
  Ivy: So our first two pregnancies and deliveries had just been my husband and I.
• 1:08:37
  Ivy: And this time I was like, Well, I'd like to have my mom there.
• 1:08:40
  Ivy: Like, that's kind of how I pictured it before I had kids.
• 1:08:43
  Ivy: And so I remember it was like getting close to shift change.
• 1:08:49
  Ivy: And I was like, I think you should call my mom.
• 1:08:51
  Ivy: And he was like, Really?
• 1:08:52
  Ivy: Like, you want her here for that long?
• 1:08:53
  Ivy: Like, we have to think in our heads we're still like so far away from delivering them.
• 1:08:57
  Ivy: And I was like, Yeah, I think so.
• 1:08:59
  Ivy: Like, I know I'm really comfortable.
• 1:09:00
  Ivy: Like, I could use some more support.
• 1:09:02
  Ivy: And I think we she and she was like 45 minutes away.
• 1:09:04
  Ivy: So I was like, So I think we should call her.
• 1:09:05
  Ivy: And she was actually just about getting ready to take a nap because she thought I was gonna call her at like four in the morning or in the middle of the night or something.
• 1:09:12
  Ivy: So I was like, just kidding, like, no nap, you have to come.
• 1:09:16
  Ivy: And she was like, Okay.
• 1:09:17
  Ivy: So then I decided to that like right around shift change, I felt bad because I had one of my friends come in overnight for the night nurse.
• 1:09:26
  Ivy: And by then I was just like hot mess express, like, you know, no pleasantries, like I haven't seen each other in a while.
• 1:09:32
  Ivy: Just like I'm in the throes of labor here, and she's so amazing.
• 1:09:37
  Ivy: She just like hopped right in, took over, and she was delightful.
• 1:09:41
  Ivy: But so right around, I think I got my epidural at like 8 p.m.
• 1:09:46
  Ivy: And they checked me like right before, and I had progressed to like seven or something, and then we went through the process of the epidural, and I was just like, oh, like I can't sit still, it was difficult.
• 1:09:57
  Ivy: And they finally got it in at like a little after eight, I think, eight p.m.
• 1:10:03
  Ivy: And it wasn't working like it did with Winnie.
• 1:10:08
  Ivy: Like I kept having that moment with Winnie remember, like, it just doesn't hurt anymore.
• 1:10:14
  Ivy: And I didn't get that with the twins, and so they put me back, I laid back down after I had the epidural and they checked me, and I was like nine.
• 1:10:23
  Ivy: And or wait, maybe I don't remember.
• 1:10:26
  Ivy: I was not fully dilated yet after the epidural.
• 1:10:29
  Ivy: And my mom had just gotten there, and I was just like really fidgety, like, I don't know, like really like it felt like I wasn't getting any relief from the epidural.
• 1:10:37
  Ivy: And in hindsight, I think it was just like too late.
• 1:10:39
  Ivy: And they I laid there until like nine.
• 1:10:43
  Ivy: And I remember at nine, like I was like, I'm not getting any relief in between these contractions, like, and it feels like he's right there.
• 1:10:50
  Ivy: Like, I think that I need to be checked again.
• 1:10:52
  Ivy: And they didn't want to check me because they had checked me like a bunch of times in a row.
• 1:10:56
  Ivy: And of course, you don't want to open yourself up to infection or anything.
• 1:10:59
  Ivy: So they were trying to give me like another hour or so, because I think maybe I had a couple centimeters to go still.
• 1:11:04
  Ivy: And in the past, my labors had been very slow, and so at like the 45-minute mark, I said, like, I think I need to be checked again.
• 1:11:11
  Ivy: So my nurse comes in and she gets ready to check me, and she's like, Okay, oh boy, she was like, Yeah, he is like right there and you're 10 centimeters dilated, and she's like, And now I have a lot to do.
• 1:11:22
  Ivy: So she like runs out the door to go get the OR ready.
• 1:11:26
  Ivy: And I was just like, I don't know, I felt like oblivious.
• 1:11:30
  Ivy: And like when I look back on it, like my mom was at the head of the bed and my husband was over like on the couch, and I had looked at he was texting with our friend who's a doctor during this time and like giving him updates and like trying to see what to expect because I think he was also like kind of in shock at how quick everything was happening.
• 1:11:48
  Ivy: And I remember somebody said, like, oh, why wasn't he like up with you?
• 1:11:52
  Ivy: But I like didn't want to be touched.
• 1:11:55
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, I just felt like I was in this alternate universe where I just was like wanting to deal with it myself almost.
• 1:12:02
  Ivy: Like it was different.
• 1:12:03
  Ivy: Like I remember with Bowen, like I had him pushing on my back and like doing all these other things, but this was just like so intense that I don't, I feel like I just had to like put my mind into it and be like, I'm just gonna deal with it.
• 1:12:14
  Ivy: And like my mom kept giving me like little encouragements, but she wasn't like touching me, and I just like wanted to just kind of work through it.
• 1:12:21
  Ivy: There was it felt like there was like nothing that can be done to make this better.
• 1:12:26
  Ivy: So I'm just gonna power through.
• 1:12:28
  Ivy: So everybody, like my nurse runs out and she comes back in, and everybody is like trying to get stuff ready and get me to the OR.
• 1:12:36
  Ivy: And I remember one thing that I was bummed about is that they didn't let my mom come in because we had to deliver in the OR.
• 1:12:42
  Ivy: So we had to leave her in the room.
• 1:12:46
  Ivy: So we go to the OR, they just wheel my like regular bed in so I don't have to get on like the stretch or anything.
• 1:12:52
  Ivy: Like I was kind of worried about it feeling like it did with my first daughter, like kind of bright and scary.
• 1:12:59
  Ivy: And but it really didn't.
• 1:13:01
  Ivy: Like I think something about like staying in my own bed and like there was no surgery, like there was no tools out anywhere.
• 1:13:08
  Ivy: Like it it didn't feel as like sterile and scary as I thought it was going to, which was good.
• 1:13:13
  Ivy: So remember we go in there and everybody's all like getting dressed up, and I'm just kind of like laying there, don't know what to do.
• 1:13:20
  Ivy: Like, I'm still having that really intense pressure.
• 1:13:22
  Ivy: I was like, somebody's just gonna have to like tell me what to do, and I'll do it.
• 1:13:26
  Ivy: So they were like, Well, for right now, don't do anything because he's right there and I need a minute.
• 1:13:30
  Ivy: And so she's like getting all dressed up, and I like my body was kind of like pushing on its own, but so we left for the OR at 921.
• 1:13:40
  Ivy: And for my son, I pushed one contraction with him, and he came out at 927.
• 1:13:49
  Ivy: Um, and then so he comes out and they put him on my chest.
• 1:13:54
  Ivy: And I just remember being like, wow, this is amazing, but like I can't believe I'm gonna have to like do it again.
• 1:14:00
  Ivy: Like, like, like anticipating, like, what is that gonna be like?
• 1:14:03
  Ivy: And in hindsight, this was such a short time.
• 1:14:05
  Ivy: Like, my husband snapped one picture, I think, of me on his chest, and like he wasn't expecting, like, he was kind of confused when I said that.
• 1:14:10
  Ivy: I was like, take a picture, and he was like, Right now, and I was like, Yeah, just I don't know.
• 1:14:14
  Ivy: He's like, Oh, we'll just take the picture.
• 1:14:15
  Ivy: So he takes the picture, and then a couple seconds passed, and Dr.
• 1:14:20
  Ivy: Fagan's like very calmly but very assertively, said, Baby B is coming out, footling breach.
• 1:14:27
  Ivy: So that's completely feat first.
• 1:14:32
  Ivy: So everybody kind of starts to like silently shuffle around, and I can't see what's happening, so I don't really know.
• 1:14:40
  Ivy: And I already have one baby on my chest, and so it's like a little overwhelming.
• 1:14:44
  Ivy: And so I remember Dr.
• 1:14:45
  Ivy: Fagan's asked for a towel, and my husband's recollection of it is that she asked for the towel because she tried to pull on Georgia's legs and they like slipped out because you know, she's a baby, she's slippery.
• 1:14:58
  Ivy: And so she asked for a towel and then she used the towel to like kind of help pull her out.
• 1:15:04
  Ivy: Um, but my husband was like scared, like he's like, I don't know, we've never seen anything like it, of course.
• 1:15:11
  Ivy: And he's like looking.
• 1:15:12
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, I feel like a lot of guys are like, I'm not gonna look.
• 1:15:14
  Ivy: And then they look and like they like it and like they want to see it.
• 1:15:18
  Ivy: And so he was like really looking.
• 1:15:20
  Ivy: And I just remember him being like, she's out from her thighs down, like he said that to me.
• 1:15:28
  Ivy: Um, and I remember looking at my nurse and it just felt different, like it never felt unsafe or like I don't even really want to call it scared, like it just felt different, and like I really needed reassurance that it was okay.
• 1:15:44
  Ivy: Because I remember hearing Dr.
• 1:15:46
  Ivy: Fagans and she's like, she sounded confident, and she kept saying, It's okay, it's okay.
• 1:15:51
  Ivy: She was like directing people.
• 1:15:53
  Ivy: And I remember I just kept looking at Mackenzie, my nurse, and being like, Is she okay?
• 1:15:56
  Ivy: And she'd say, Yes, it's fine.
• 1:15:57
  Ivy: She's like, and but like I could also tell from her face, like she was kind of like, uh, oh my god, like, get this baby out.
• 1:16:03
  Ivy: Um, so she actually all of this happened in like a minute.
• 1:16:08
  Ivy: So there's only a minute in between.
• 1:16:10
  Ivy: And with her, I only pushed, like, she told me to give one big push for her head, and I did.
• 1:16:15
  Ivy: And she was out and they put her on my chest, and she was a little stunned, like she was a little like purple-y, and I think that made my husband a little nervous.
• 1:16:24
  Ivy: But like they again, um, the NICU had just shown up when the second baby did because they called them when we went over there, but it all happened so fast that they didn't make it in time.
• 1:16:35
  Ivy: So the NICU came and they both stayed right on my chest, and they looked at them and she, you know, Kate kind of came too, just a little shocked from her head being the last part out.
• 1:16:45
  Ivy: I just remember they were both tucked in and on my chest, and it was just like, oh my gosh, like they're out already.
• 1:16:51
  Ivy: And I just remember thinking like six hours ago, we were in the Duncan line, like preparing ourselves for this marathon.
• 1:16:58
  Ivy: And so my husband sent my mom a picture, and I think he sent it a couple minutes after they were born.
• 1:17:06
  Ivy: So we had only been out of the room for like 10 minutes, and he sends her this picture of both of them on my chest, and she was like, Am I being punked?
• 1:17:13
  Ivy: She was like, Did you have like a AI picture all ready to send me?
• 1:17:17
  Ivy: She like couldn't believe it.
• 1:17:19
  Ivy: And so Dr.
• 1:17:20
  Ivy: Fagan's did like help wrap everything up, and I delivered the placenta, which like it had fused together, and it was like crazy.
• 1:17:29
  Ivy: I remember I was laying there with both the babies on my chest and the scrub tech there.
• 1:17:35
  Ivy: Um, she's the one that did my C-section with Winnie.
• 1:17:38
  Ivy: And so she always like jokes that she's held my uterus in her hands, and she was there, and I was like, Well, Katie, you're not really doing anything.
• 1:17:45
  Ivy: So can you hold that placenta up so I can see it?
• 1:17:48
  Ivy: And it was just like had fused together and it was huge, and it was just like so amazing that both of those babies and that has been in my body, and like my body did that.
• 1:17:58
  Ivy: And so I think that it was just like another step in the healing of like trusting that my body does know what it's doing and like can support us and support me and these babies.
• 1:18:09
  Ivy: And so it was just it was crazy.
• 1:18:12
  Ivy: I remember Dr.
• 1:18:13
  Ivy: Fagans went out to talk to my mom, and she was just like, what, what?
• 1:18:19
  Ivy: Everybody was just like amazed.
• 1:18:22
  Ivy: It was just crazy.
• 1:18:25
  Angela: Wow, that is crazy.
• 1:18:26
  Angela: That's incredible.
• 1:18:28
  Angela: So when you were talking about the plan when you're like leading up to your birth, you had mentioned that it possibly something could happen where, like, you know, the first baby comes out head first and then you might have to switch to a c-section.
• 1:18:40
  Angela: Was that ever mentioned?
• 1:18:42
  Angela: Because normally it is pretty standard practice if baby B is breached to do a C-section, but was she just, I don't know, how did that like, yeah, like unfold?
• 1:18:52
  Angela: Was there any like conversation about that at all?
• 1:18:54
  Ivy: Or yeah, there was a lot of conversation about that.
• 1:18:57
  Ivy: And like, thank you to Dr.
• 1:18:58
  Ivy: Fagans for that.
• 1:18:59
  Ivy: Like it felt like we were really prepared.
• 1:19:01
  Ivy: So our kind of plan, because we knew she was still breached, and it seemed at that point like she wasn't budging as long as Brooks was also in there.
• 1:19:10
  Ivy: So she kind of said that the options were that baby A comes out, um, she might be able to reach in and turn her herself.
• 1:19:22
  Ivy: So she would like go in, break the water, and turn her head down the best she can to kind of guide her that way.
• 1:19:30
  Ivy: And she was like, that's kind of normal.
• 1:19:31
  Ivy: And she was like, that's another reason why it's nice to have an epidural, because that's not a comfortable part of all of this.
• 1:19:38
  Ivy: And she was like, but honestly, like it like the baby has already come.
• 1:19:43
  Ivy: Well, you've already had one baby, like it's kind of made the space, and so it's different.
• 1:19:46
  Ivy: She also talked about that it could she could just come out breach, depending on her positioning.
• 1:19:52
  Ivy: But she said that the most important part was that what you want to avoid is having your cervix close up.
• 1:19:59
  Ivy: Again, between the babies.
• 1:20:02
  Ivy: So I guess that's when you run the risk of having to turn to C-section if you're not able to kind of like relabor and reopen that because your body's protective mechanism after you have a single baby is just to try to close up as quickly as possible.
• 1:20:17
  Ivy: So you want to try to avoid that by making sure there's good pressure back on your cervix from the next baby.
• 1:20:25
  Ivy: So that's why she was saying, like she was kind of her plan was to kind of reach through, break the next baby's water, and have the baby come down to keep the pressure on the cervix to keep it open.
• 1:20:35
  Ivy: So I was kind of expecting that, but I guess I didn't know any of this in the time.
• 1:20:40
  Ivy: So I just had like asked her after like walk me through that.
• 1:20:44
  Ivy: Like that was crazy.
• 1:20:45
  Ivy: And then this happened the next day because like I remember that first day.
• 1:20:48
  Ivy: I was like the first night it was in the evening, and I was just like, whoa.
• 1:20:52
  Ivy: So the next day she came back and we kind of like debriefed for all of our sakes.
• 1:20:57
  Ivy: Um and she said that she like reached in and she ripped the water with her hands.
• 1:21:05
  Ivy: Like she just tore my sack with her hands for Georgia.
• 1:21:10
  Ivy: And when she did that, just feet came right through.
• 1:21:12
  Ivy: And so that's when she said that she was like, I know this is happening.
• 1:21:17
  Ivy: And that's when she announced it.
• 1:21:18
  Ivy: And she said, like, as far as a footling breach delivery goes, like it went as perfect as it could.
• 1:21:24
  Ivy: Like her head was, you know, of course, you don't want the body out and the head still in for very long, and that it wasn't.
• 1:21:30
  Ivy: And it's so funny in my mind because like I can remember having thoughts and like needing that reassurance when her head was in and the rest of her body was out.
• 1:21:40
  Ivy: But in the real world, like that was like less than 30 seconds, like that this whole thing transpired.
• 1:21:46
  Ivy: Like they technically have their own birth minute, but I think it's like not even like a full minute apart.
• 1:21:51
  Ivy: And so I remember Dr.
• 1:21:53
  Ivy: Fagan's saying, just like she was so relieved.
• 1:21:56
  Ivy: And she said, after they were out and they were fine and whatever.
• 1:22:00
  Ivy: And she was like, I won't lie.
• 1:22:02
  Ivy: She was like, I like the last couple weeks, I have been like on edge waiting for this to happen.
• 1:22:08
  Ivy: And she was like, just because I know how important it is to you, and it's really important to me.
• 1:22:12
  Ivy: And she's just like, she just cares so much.
• 1:22:14
  Ivy: That's really all there is to it.
• 1:22:16
  Ivy: She just like really had needed this to go well for all of us.
• 1:22:21
  Ivy: And so she was so cute when she was like, I have just been holding my breath.
• 1:22:24
  Ivy: And she was like, I'm so glad that it's happened and it's over and it went so well.
• 1:22:30
  Angela: Wow, that's amazing.
• 1:22:31
  Angela: And yeah, that's so sweet.
• 1:22:33
  Angela: And that's definitely something that I've heard.
• 1:22:34
  Angela: Like, I do birth debriefs with families that want to call and just talk about their births.
• 1:22:38
  Angela: And I've heard them talk about Dr.
• 1:22:40
  Angela: Faggins and just how she really cares, you know, like even if like their birth as planned, like it's just having her presence of reassurance there has just been really helpful for other families too.
• 1:22:51
  Angela: And yeah, that's uh amazing that your experience went that way.
• 1:22:55
  Angela: That's how cool.
• 1:22:56
  Ivy: Yeah, it was it's so cool.
• 1:22:58
  Ivy: I still like I feel like they're gonna be one next month, and I'm still just like in awe of them.
• 1:23:02
  Ivy: I don't know, like I feel so lucky that like not only my delivery, like my pregnancy and my delivery, and then just like they are both developing normally and like happy, healthy little babies.
• 1:23:14
  Ivy: And I just feel like so deeply lucky for that, you know, like other people aren't don't have that same experience, especially with twins.
• 1:23:23
  Ivy: And so I'm just like so grateful for everything.
• 1:23:26
  Angela: Yeah, and having like the right support, like choosing the right provider really is like one of the most important decisions that you make regarding your birth, you know.
• 1:23:36
  Ivy: Right.
• 1:23:36
  Ivy: Yeah.
• 1:23:36
  Ivy: I mean, I've yeah, talking to like other people who haven't even had twins, but have had deliveries where they just like didn't feel in control and they didn't feel like they had all these options, and like, yeah, I felt like yeah, she's just perfect to talk, like perfect in the moment, and she's perfect with safety.
• 1:23:54
  Ivy: Like Adam is like her number one fan.
• 1:23:57
  Ivy: Like, he's like fangirls over her all the time.
• 1:24:00
  Ivy: We went back to see her and he was like asking her all these questions, like he's just so fascinated, and he's like writing her reviews on things and like telling everybody about her.
• 1:24:11
  Ivy: He just like, because he, I guess, had not like he had a better seat in the house than me, but like, I don't know, I wasn't like he just like saw her in action and he like remembers seeing her kind of like demeanor switch when George's feet came out, and like he was like, she just switched into like business mode, like she was in charge of the room, and everyone was doing exactly what she needed them to do, and he was just like amazed by her delegation and amazed by how calm she was, and like, and then she did all of that while also like reassuring me and being kind and like calm and like I didn't feel scared.
• 1:24:48
  Ivy: Like I could feel like the stress of the situation, kind of, but like I never was like scared, and I just think that I owe so much of that to her, and so it was just amazing.
• 1:25:00
  Angela: Yeah, that's so important when things like might go up maybe like a variation of normal, and just you know, to have a provider that stays calm and still, well, you know, being in charge of things and paying attention to everything that's going on, but like doing it in a calm way is like really makes such a difference too.
• 1:25:19
  Ivy: Yeah.
• 1:25:19
  Ivy: And I really feel like like the other the nurses in the room and like everybody else, like kind of trusted and like in that way too.
• 1:25:29
  Ivy: Like they I don't think they felt like I don't know, like they probably again felt the same stress, but like I think they just like trusted that she was gonna handle it and like just trusted her care.
• 1:25:40
  Ivy: And it actually, I remember the anesthesiologist came in after both the babies were out.
• 1:25:46
  Ivy: Like they had called him, but he was too late.
• 1:25:48
  Ivy: So even like it would have been a minute if I had to go to C-section.
• 1:25:51
  Ivy: I remember he walked in and I was like, I better not be built for you.
• 1:25:54
  Ivy: Like I saw you just walk in.
• 1:25:55
  Ivy: You did you're here.
• 1:25:57
  Ivy: Um and so yeah, it just like she was really the commanding presence in the room, and it was just yeah, I wish I could go back and do it again, which is crazy, but I wish I could.
• 1:26:12
  Angela: Yeah, oh my gosh, amazing.
• 1:26:14
  Angela: Yeah, just that leadership that she had is is so so crucial to just having the whole thing go smoothly.
• 1:26:20
  Angela: Yeah.
• 1:26:21
  Angela: So how was your like immediate postpartum and yeah, like those first few weeks?
• 1:26:27
  Angela: Yeah, um, we stayed two days.
• 1:26:31
  Ivy: I think we stayed a little longer in the hospital because it was kind of like a little vacation.
• 1:26:36
  Ivy: I mean, we had two little kids at home that are great, but they were little kids, you know, needy.
• 1:26:41
  Ivy: And I had spent the last nine months being very pregnant and running after them.
• 1:26:46
  Ivy: And so we went to the hospital and we like watched TV and we ate food with both our hands and just like did skin to skin with these babies, and like it was like kind of a fun little back to like the real world, which is going to be four kids under four.
• 1:27:07
  Ivy: And so we headed home and the big kids were so excited.
• 1:27:12
  Ivy: Like, our families had gotten them cute little outfits, and the they were had made signs at their schools, and like everyone was just so excited, and we were just surrounded by a crazy amount of support.
• 1:27:26
  Ivy: I mean, we of course we were very supportive.
• 1:27:28
  Ivy: We have very supportive families, very supportive grandparents.
• 1:27:31
  Ivy: Um, our siblings are great.
• 1:27:33
  Ivy: So, with the first two, like we were very supportive, but I think that twins intrigue people.
• 1:27:39
  Ivy: So we had people coming out of like the woodworks, dropping off food, and like people we hadn't seen since and like we hadn't seen in a while and honestly haven't seen since.
• 1:27:50
  Ivy: Like they get were coming over and bringing meals and holding babies, and I don't think I don't think I cooked a meal for like seriously six weeks.
• 1:28:03
  Ivy: Like people were we had like a running calendar going of like this person wants to come over, so they're coming this day, and this person, and then they would just like drop off lunch, and like I think people were really supportive in the perfect way where it felt like I didn't need to do anything, you know.
• 1:28:21
  Ivy: Like I never had the like, oh, I gotta like get up and clean and do all this stuff because so-and-so's coming over.
• 1:28:26
  Ivy: Like they would A, like, help let me pick a time and like ask me, ask us food preferences, and they would come over.
• 1:28:34
  Ivy: And we had some people come over and they like climbed under our kitchen table and were playing with our big kids under there.
• 1:28:41
  Ivy: Like they had never been over before and barely seen our big kids, but like they just like hopped right in and they were holding babies so I could eat with both my hands instead of holding nursing two babies while doing it.
• 1:28:52
  Ivy: Um there were people like that would just text me and they'd be like, There's something in the center console of your car, didn't want to wake you up or do whatever.
• 1:29:02
  Ivy: And so it was just like amazing.
• 1:29:06
  Ivy: I if really felt support, and I think that by this point we had moved back to MDI where Adam and I both had grown up.
• 1:29:15
  Ivy: And so, not that you know, we had we have so much support in Bangor.
• 1:29:18
  Ivy: We have great friends in Bangor, but like something about that kind of smaller town.
• 1:29:23
  Ivy: Like, I don't know, I don't want to give us like credit.
• 1:29:26
  Ivy: Like, we didn't do, I mean, I pushed out two babies, but I didn't do anything.
• 1:29:29
  Ivy: Like, like, I don't, I think people were kind of like talking about it, like wow, Ivy and Adam had twins, and just like this community of our friends and family and people we knew just really like rallied around us and made it so much easier than it could have been.
• 1:29:43
  Ivy: Like we were sleep deprived, yes, and we had little kids, but like people would offer to take our big kids and they would bring over food so I didn't have to cook it, or they would just drop it off.
• 1:29:55
  Ivy: Like, there was a mom from my daughter's pre-K school who once a week would leave me my favorite sandwich from a local bakery just on my porch, and she wouldn't say anything, she would just text it and it would be on the porch and I would go get it.
• 1:30:07
  Ivy: Um, and it was like the middle of winter, so it felt like we could like we kind of just like cozied in.
• 1:30:13
  Ivy: And my husband had a different job than he did with the first two, and he took a couple solid weeks off.
• 1:30:20
  Ivy: Like he ended up getting like two and a half weeks off, and so he got to do a lot of the activities with my son that we normally do, so that was kind of fun for him, or like his school is really supportive and really great.
• 1:30:35
  Ivy: So they would let him bring our three-year-old to school, and he would just like kind of join a classroom for the day.
• 1:30:42
  Ivy: And I just had like a really magical couple weeks where the twins just we would lay down and we'd do skin to skin, and I'd watch documentaries and people would text that there's food on the door.
• 1:30:55
  Ivy: So when I would get up to use the bathroom, I'd grab my food and I'd go back to my perch on the couch, and it was just like it felt like what it should be, you know.
• 1:31:05
  Ivy: Like I wasn't worried about like I don't know, I wasn't worried about like going back to school and I was or going back to work and or worried about my husband going back to school, and like it just really felt like we were just like I was just doing skin to skin with my babies and like so happy they were there, and our family would come over, and a couple times like my mom or my sister would hold the twins until like midnight.
• 1:31:35
  Ivy: So Adam and I would go to bed and then they would just sit out because like they wanted to snuggle them, and my like they would come over and they would put our big kids to bed, so then like they didn't feel like because that's it was a big change, you know.
• 1:31:47
  Ivy: Like we doubled our kids, and it like then I think that really helped like my older two not feel like they were replaced, you know.
• 1:31:55
  Ivy: They were they were like kind of the boy and the girl, and then like we all of a sudden we have this new little boy and girl, and so I was worried that they would feel like shoved to the side, but people would come over.
• 1:32:06
  Ivy: My son went through a stage where he kept, we'd be like, Who do you want to put you to bed?
• 1:32:09
  Ivy: And he would just say, like, oh, I want a naughty night.
• 1:32:12
  Ivy: And I'm like, Well, she can't come put you to bed every night.
• 1:32:15
  Ivy: So, but yeah, it was just like really great.
• 1:32:19
  Ivy: And like, I feel like I talked to my friends and they're like, Oh, like those winter babies are like, Oh, what do you do?
• 1:32:24
  Ivy: But I was just like, I don't know, I just like lived in my bathrobe for two weeks and did skin to skin and was fed.
• 1:32:32
  Ivy: It was great.
• 1:32:34
  Angela: Yeah, that definitely sounds like the way it should be.
• 1:32:37
  Angela: Like you said, that that's definitely the way it should be.
• 1:32:40
  Angela: So good, right?
• 1:32:42
  Ivy: Yeah, like it just felt like such a village, and it was it was really great.
• 1:32:45
  Ivy: And like, of course, it slowly faded off.
• 1:32:48
  Ivy: Like it can't last forever, but like it never felt like this abrupt, like back to the grind, you know.
• 1:32:55
  Ivy: Like, so it was good.
• 1:32:56
  Ivy: Like, we felt like we kind of just like eased back into going to my son's normal activities, and we eased back into like eventually I went back to work and just like I think we were just like we're so lucky that my employer at the time and like my husband's were so like just kind of let us do that, like find our way back into like lugging around two car seats is now my new normal.
• 1:33:23
  Ivy: And so, yeah, people were just really great, and they continue to be like I think twins interest people, and so I go places and people are like, Oh, the baby.
• 1:33:34
  Ivy: And so I'm like, Well, they're my third and fourth kid, so probably my first baby.
• 1:33:37
  Ivy: I wouldn't be like, sure, person I met an hour ago, but now I'm just like, yeah, great, here you go.
• 1:33:42
  Ivy: I got two.
• 1:33:43
  Ivy: Go ahead.
• 1:33:45
  Angela: Oh my gosh.
• 1:33:46
  Angela: Yeah, there definitely is something to be said about twins, they are very interesting and very cool.
• 1:33:51
  Ivy: Yeah, I actually just yesterday we had some people putting together furniture in our house and they could barely speak English.
• 1:33:58
  Ivy: And one of the guys said to me, like, English, not good.
• 1:34:02
  Ivy: And he was like, But two babies.
• 1:34:04
  Ivy: And I was like, Yes, two babies.
• 1:34:07
  Ivy: So it's like everybody they they're very popular.
• 1:34:11
  Angela: Yeah, wow.
• 1:34:12
  Angela: So how was breastfeeding?
• 1:34:16
  Angela: Any tips, tricks?
• 1:34:18
  Ivy: Yeah, it was it's crazy.
• 1:34:20
  Ivy: Um, I from the get-go really wanted to be able to do nurse them together.
• 1:34:26
  Ivy: And so I think that like a couple things that have benefited me with twins is a that they're not my first baby.
• 1:34:34
  Ivy: Like, I I feel like people are always like, well, that must be hard because you have other kids, but it's like I've lost that like new parent anxiety, you know, like, and I think that that has been so protective to like all of our peace, you know.
• 1:34:47
  Ivy: Like I was just kind of like, I don't know, like we've done this before, not with twins, of course, but like we know how to raise babies, like they're gonna be fine.
• 1:34:55
  Ivy: And um, I remember in the hospital, I was nursing them for the first time, and together I had got them on tandem.
• 1:35:03
  Ivy: So I had one on kind of laying on one side, one on the other.
• 1:35:06
  Ivy: And I kept like if they would pop off, because you know, when newborns nurse, they're not just like grabbing on and staying on, it's a lot of like hands.
• 1:35:13
  Ivy: And I remember like you kind of had to like pin one for just a second to get the other on.
• 1:35:20
  Ivy: And like I remember my mom like laughing and being like, Can you imagine like holding your first baby the way that you're holding them right now?
• 1:35:30
  Ivy: Because I just feel like, okay, hold your breath for one second while I get the other one on.
• 1:35:35
  Ivy: And so I think that just like, I don't know, just be brave.
• 1:35:40
  Ivy: Like they're they're fine, they're like babies are tough.
• 1:35:43
  Ivy: And no, I'm of course I'm not saying like throw them around or anything, but like it doesn't have to be this like the way media portrays breastfeeding as like you just put them in the crook of your arm and cradle them across your body, and it's just easy peasy like that, and nothing's showing and all that.
• 1:35:59
  Ivy: And like, I think I was just like, I lived in my nursing tank top and my robe for weeks, like I said, and it was all kind of out there, and they were maybe in weirdish positions, but like they latched and they were skin to skin.
• 1:36:13
  Ivy: And now that they're almost one, they're like wild, and so they're like pulling each other's hair and like grabbing at each other, and one is like crawling off this way and the other one's crawling off that way while still nursing, and so I think just kind of like rolling with it.
• 1:36:28
  Ivy: And I was luckily I'm I nurse them together like 90% of the time because I have two other kids, and so that's another thing.
• 1:36:36
  Ivy: I remember thinking like, if I have to nurse these two separately, I'm not gonna have any time to do anything else.
• 1:36:43
  Ivy: And so I was like, we're gonna figure it out, and so I did, and the big kids are like interested and helpful.
• 1:36:52
  Ivy: Like Winnie would bring me water, and for a couple once months there, I was like, I was like, I'm not sure that I'll ever feel full again because I'm just making all this milk.
• 1:37:04
  Ivy: And it's funny because like I've had clogged ducks for the first time.
• 1:37:08
  Ivy: I never got clogged ducks with my other babies, but it's just like those little mindfulness things now that I have to remember, like, oh, I'm making double the milk.
• 1:37:14
  Ivy: Like, yeah, I do need to eat more than I have in the past, and I do need to make sure I'm emptying all the time.
• 1:37:20
  Ivy: And so I've been so lucky that they have just been exclusively breastfed, and they love it, and I love it.
• 1:37:27
  Ivy: And these are our last babies, and so I'm kind of just soaking it in.
• 1:37:31
  Ivy: And yeah, I've just been so happy and lucky, like I said, with how it's gone.
• 1:37:36
  Angela: Yeah, amazing.
• 1:37:38
  Angela: That's that's incredible.
• 1:37:40
  Angela: Now, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting or even new parents, what is one of the biggest things that you'd want to share?
• 1:37:51
  Ivy: I think just like find what works for you and you know, be prepared, but be okay that it's gonna change.
• 1:37:59
  Ivy: Like, I feel like that's something that has helped me out so much.
• 1:38:02
  Ivy: Like with my daughter, I remember even when I got the epidural with my first baby, I remember being like, Well, there's something I failed at.
• 1:38:08
  Ivy: And I was like, no, but like I didn't fail, we just changed the plan.
• 1:38:12
  Ivy: And I was like, So I think just like kind of rolling with it, and it's not gonna be picture perfect, and you know, people aren't posting on social media when both their babies have blowouts and their toddler is like trying to run out the door, and the big kids are fighting with each other, like that's not what's being portrayed.
• 1:38:30
  Ivy: And so just know we're all going through it in different ways and just kind of find.
• 1:38:36
  Ivy: I always say that like once you succumb to the chaos, then it's really not that bad.
• 1:38:39
  Ivy: So that's kind of where I'm at with all these kids.
• 1:38:42
  Ivy: Um, so just know that like people aren't posting the part that they feel like they failed or they're doing bad at, and so just know parenting is up and down.
• 1:38:52
  Angela: Yes, you're not not alone in in your chaos.
• 1:38:55
  Ivy: Right.
• 1:38:56
  Angela: Amazing.
• 1:38:57
  Angela: Well, thank you so much, Ivy, for taking the time to chat with me and share all of your amazing birth stories.
• 1:39:03
  Angela: Uh Cord, thank you so much for having me.
• 1:39:06
  Angela: Before you go, I just want to remind you, I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth.
• 1:39:13
  Angela: If you're pregnant, whether you're a first-time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access My Labor of Love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course.
• 1:39:31
  Angela: I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with.
• 1:39:39
  Angela: And I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey.
• 1:39:50
  Angela: So click to the show notes, check out all of those links, and if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at mymainbirth over on