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Transcript

In Memory Of Dolly · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, everyone. Now, it's not often I take my cap off.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I even sleep wearing the blooming thing. But I had
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: to take my cap off today when I heard about
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: the passing of the great Dolly Parton.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: A true legend, she were.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: You maybe want to go back through the archive that
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Tom and Jerry showed here, the special episode they did
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: about Dolly back in the day. Here it is again
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: for anyone that missed it, or anyone that would like
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: to remember the fantastic lady, who we will all miss
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: very much.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I'll see thee.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: To the honky-tonks you give music.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: You restored the line dancing that was once lost. Sorrow
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: stricken are the objects of your tender compassion. When Jolene
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: did not in fact take a man. Even the poor
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: you raised to life with your coat of many colors.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: Cried out to them from the depths of their bitter anguish.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, Saint Dolly.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: We adore thee.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: Little prayer there. Little prayer there. You actually, you actually
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: went very Benedictian there in the middle of it there,
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: so you did.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I didn't. It wasn't my, I was going to keep
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: it very like, all things bright.
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: But I, you know, it is. No, you got, you
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: got a little bit of homina, homina, homina, homina.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you. Literally, people, three seconds before
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I said those words, I went, well, I do it
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: kind of priestly because I was just going to say it.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: like I said it out loud. I'd be honest, Ger,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I kind of, I kind of mashed up, you know,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: another saint's prayer a small bit. I just totally robbed
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: this race, basically, and just.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Well, you know what, Tom? It's not the only mashing
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: going on because we've completely mashed up in the intro
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: to this podcast. I know. We just came in all
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: guns blazing, as we're known to do, without even saying
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: hello to the fine listeners of the Tom and Jerry Show.
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: And you're welcome along to yet another episode of the
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: Tom and Jerry Show.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I was actually going to speak to you this evening
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: about how excited I've been all day. And I think
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: people can probably guess that I couldn't even hold my
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: piss for three seconds. I had to jump straight into
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: the episode, start with prayers and everything. At the top
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: of the show. I didn't even ask you how you're doing.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: How are you doing?
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: I'm doing grand, Tom. I'm always doing... Tom, you know me.
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: I'm a base level of fine and I never go
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: too far up or down from it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: How very, very Catholic are you? Stoic it is. In fairness,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: that's how you keep it. Just in the middle. Don't
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: get too above your station. I'm actually a little bit
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Italian today. I'm so... I was lepping. I was doing
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: bits and pieces around the place. Had a couple of
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: little jobs to do earlier. But all I was going,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to chat with McBride this evening. Oh,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: we get into this episode. I was very, very excited
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: by it. I don't know why. I think it was
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: just a giddy little.
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: It's two of our favourite subjects, Tom. It's country music
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: and the church. You know what I mean? Stallwarts of
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: our life.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Oh, if only there was
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: a way to combo the two. Oh, man.
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: Do you know, I think we might have fucking nailed it.
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: Why don't you tell the fine people what we're going
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: to do this evening?
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Today, everybody, we are going to be investigating if the
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: great Dolly Parton is in fact a saint. Gerry, when
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: looking into this, we could have done an entire season
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: on Dolly Parton. Yeah.
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: And in truth, Tom, we were very close to doing
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: a podcast on just on Dolly Parton, the same as
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: we'd done on Fred Dibna, except for the chimneys and
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: a few other changes. But we decided, you know, what
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: would be a nice tweak to it is if we
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: actually drill down there, because like the words living saint
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: are thrown around quite a lot these days, Tom.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: And everybody will be saying that Dolly is a living saint.
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: But is she? You see, you don't throw around sainthoods left,
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: right and centre, Tom. So I think we've found the
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: only fair thing to do is to get into it
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: and see, does she meet the criteria?
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. So just a little warning before we get into it.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Any serious Dolly fans there? Yes, we are going to
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: miss out on a load of stuff. This, as Gerry said,
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: is not going to be a biography. Christ and Christ above,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: there's enough of them out there. Much like the Fred
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Dibna episode, it won't be a blow-by-blow account of her
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: life because, like I literally said, you could do an
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: entire season. This was Gerry's idea. It was a great
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: idea to just drill down and see if, in fact,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: she qualifies as being a saint. So, hence why I
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: wrote a prayer. God, can you imagine if Dolly heard
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: this and she actually sang that prayer for us in
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: dedication to the TNG show?
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: Yes, she's not going to Tom.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: LAUGHTER Literally.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: As I was saying.
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: Is it a prayer, Tom? Is it a prayer? Was
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: it a prayer? Was it a psalm? Was it a hymn?
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: What's the difference?
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, I have no idea. I have no idea which
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: I'll tell you this much. It's not a psalm because
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: a psalm is more like a limerick. There's a structure
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: to a psalm that that didn't quite follow. It could
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: be a hymn.
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: It needs another couple of verses to be a hymn,
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: If I hadn't sang it, if I just spoke it out.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to actually put the words up of this
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: on our socials. When you are watching this, go look
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: at our socials and I'm going to put this up,
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: the words of this. And anybody out there who's, you know, theological,
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: you know, leaning, let me know what you think it is.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Or is it just the ramblings of a fool of
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: a man with a mullet and a fan of Dolly Parton?
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: Fool of a tuck.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: Okay. What is a psalm? What is a prayer? I
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: know you can sing prayers, Tom. Maybe that's what that is. Hey,
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: you know what? You know what we're doing right here, Tom?
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: We're rambling, buddy. And we've got fucking more to be
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: at than ramble.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Damn right. Let's jump both feet into it. So, in
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: today's episode, we are looking into the life of possibly
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: one of the greatest and most accomplished music stars of
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: all time, Dolly Parton. To Dolly, or to many, I
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: should say, Dolly is not only an idol, but a hero.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: So today we want to investigate if Dolly has, in fact,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: actually transcended the mere mortal world of husband-stealing songs, sequined dresses,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: enlarging life, personality... We want to find out if Dolly
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Parton is, in fact, a saint.
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: We could just say, yeah, wrap it up and go
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: with a few beers, Tom.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: There's a few points during this where people will tell
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: us to put a fork in it. That's it. Such
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: amazing things. They'll go, that's it. That's it.
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: Go home.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: Like, just right this second, just go, yes, she is
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: a saint. Thank you all for listening to the Tom
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: and Gerry show. Don't forget to like and subscribe. Tell
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: them what you'd like us to do, Tom. But you
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: know what? We're going to dive into several things. I've
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: got to tell you, Dolly Parton, a hell of a woman.
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: I can't read up too much on her time without
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: getting a genuine tear in my eye. I know. As
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: we'll get into in the podcast, she really just does
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: appear to be making the rest of us look like
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: absolute shitheads.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Like we could go through every single facet of it.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: There'll be a lot in there. And top of the
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: show said, don't don't at us on this. We are
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: going to miss loads. It's like this woman. I mean,
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: she's she's like the rock. Of country music How the
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Christ She doesn't come to a stop Ever She just
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: seems to be Helping people continuously While banging out Hit
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: after hit You know what I.
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: Mean Yeah I mean like If it was a TV
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: show You wouldn't watch it Because it was too ridiculous.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: They've done live stories On her and you're going They've
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: had to actually Tone it down Because Yeah Come on
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Nobody can be that good She's.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: Just the fucking Incredible Hulk Going from town to town
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: Solving mysteries And then pissing off Up the road.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Just thumbing At the end of the show Like yeah
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Just with a thumb out.
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: And singing the fucking theme song or something.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: When did you come across Dolly first or can you remember?
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: Honestly, Tom, like, you know, every wedding I ever went
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: to when I was small, do you know what I mean?
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: The music at said wedding would always be basically the same.
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: You'd have your slow country songs and your fast country songs,
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: you know? You'd hear a lot of Dolly Parton there.
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: I remember I was allowed to watch 9 to 5
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: at a way too fucking young age. And like, you know,
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: you're talking mid-80s, so Dolly would have been like, you know,
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: riding high on our on our on our um fame
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: but i was too young to see her as like
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: a a sex symbol so to speak and as i
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: as i grew up like you know she got into
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: the 90s and she had become like you know a
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: bit of a punchline to a joke because she was
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: quite plastic surgeried and big boobed and all this kind
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: of thing but as we learn as the podcast goes
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: on you don't fucking make jokes about dolly because she'll
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: sit your ass down She'll fucking slap you naked and
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: hide your clothes, Tom.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: She gave actually a very good interview. I'm sure she's
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: given a million of them, but she gave one to
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Pat Kenny, if anybody wants to look it up. Now, Pat,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: he gets a bit of stick underneath it, but he's
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: actually a very good journalist in his own right. And
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: while he's a bit wooden, he gets to the point
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: very well without being insulting in any way. But she
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: basically points out the fact that she built this. She
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: was happy to use her body as a vessel to
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: carry what she thought and what has worked well for her.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: like you know what I mean as she said you
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: gotta you gotta tend your racehorse if you're planning on
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: racing it so hence why she she created the character
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: that she is but underneath it all you can see
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: she's a she's a hell of a good egg I
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: remember I think the first time it was probably I
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: would imagine way too young for watching this even the
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: name would suggest it but I remember watching on Sunday
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: with my old man and even I remember him looking
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: at me a few times going I'm pretty sure you
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be watching this and it was a western like
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: we used to watch all the time but it was
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: the littlest tour house in Texas but I remember there
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: must have been stirring in my loins of a 12
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: year old or 11 year old or whatever because I
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: can remember coming away going I think I fancy her
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: and I don't even know what fancying is I think
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: I may be in love with Dolly Parton.
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: We'll get into it as we go on Tom.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah so like we said it's not actually going to
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: be a biography in any makeshift form we'll miss loads
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: of stuff this is the testing ground to see if
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Dolly Parton is in fact a saint so let's jump
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: into it Dirk. Before we don our polished spurs and
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: our 10-gallon hats and dive into Dollywood. Yes, that's a
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: real place. But more on that later. We have to
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: first take a look at the criteria outlined by the
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Christian faith for what makes someone a saint. We're getting
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: serious here, lads. You can't just be slinging out sainthoods
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: to any old friend or family like a politician with
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: a fistful of All-Ireland Match Day tickets. No, sir. This
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: club is tighter than the Illuminati. And if you haven't
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: earned it in life, you ain't getting in. Saints were big.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Comedian Paul Marsh, he said when he moved to Dublin
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: first the other day, Gerry, he could not believe, he
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: thought cars came out of the factory with the Padre
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Pio sticker on it. He couldn't believe he moved to
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Dublin first, genuinely. He was that wide-eyed. and just country
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: that he genuinely couldn't believe that cars were driving around
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Dublin without, you know, a Padre Pio sticker on it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: It's like, how are you even driving safely around the
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: place without a Padre Pio sticker?
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: Tom, when it comes to the church, as you say
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: yourself there, they don't dole out sainthoods on a fucking
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: hourly basis.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: The last saint to be made was 2016 and he
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: was a chap called Saint Oscar Romero.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Stop.
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: Do you know the guy I'm on about?
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: What a cool name.
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: It's an absolute, and he looks like a, he looks
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: like a, A BMF, do you know what I mean?
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: He's pretty badass. But you might remember he was a
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: priest that was shot at the altar in El Salvador.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: Does that ring any bells?
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Yes. Like something out of a fucking... A trio movie
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: or something.
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so he's up there preaching and he's done a
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: whole bunch of good shit too. As we'll get into.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: He fit all the criteria for sainthoods. Not least of
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: which getting his ass shot saying mass. In 1980, Tom. Really?
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: And he was.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: 36 years later. 36 years.
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: Whoa.
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: And he was what you would call a shoo-in, okay?
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: So all I'm going to say is if we make
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: the case for Dolly Parton today, don't expect the Catholic
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: Church to roll this out in the next calendar year.
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: They're going to take their time with it.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: They have relics and whatnot go around with it. There's
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: a lot of merch involved, obviously, as.
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: Once you're a St. Tom, forget about it. You've retired
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: your jersey. Do you know what I mean?
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: They're going to be selling that merch forever. And like,
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: you know... Oscar Romero here, I'm not entirely certain he's
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: the saint of anything. I think all the patron saints
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: of things are gone. I'm not sure what Oscar would
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: be the patron saint of. I mean, like, you know.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: It ain't dodging bullets, anyway.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: Who knows, right?
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Did you ever pray to Saint Anthony before we move on?
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: He seems to be the... I think when you look
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: up saints and whatnot, he seems to be the most
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: popular man of the whole lot. I mean, I think
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: I may have once or twice, you know, he lost something.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: I think I may have... prayed to saint anthony i can't.
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: Remember saint anthony is a go-to guy if you lose
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: shit he's the patron saint of lost shit and like
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: you know did i find things after i said a
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: prayer to saint anthony yes i did would i have
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: found them anyway who's to say tom who's to say
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: saint anthony's not like running out and moving your car
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: keys a foot to the right so you'll see them
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: where you didn't see them before.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I mean it's a great position to be in if
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: you are saint anthony When you think about it, it's like,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: you're going to find him at the end of the day.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: And if you don't, well, don't blame me, but chances are,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: because chances are you will find most things. You know
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: what I mean? You will find most things eventually. So
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: he's in a great position that way. Look, we're not
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: here to tell you the stories of saints and all
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: the rest of it. I just kind of wanted to
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: see what Gerry, you know, probably myself, what part saints played. Really, St.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Anthony was about the only one? St. Valentine, who's, I believe, Bones.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Are they in Christchurch? Or am I totally wrong?
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: St.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: Valentine's bones are in Dame Street, yeah. No, no, sorry.
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: I beg your pardon. His heart is in St. Dame Street,
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: which is the part you want to see in Valentine's,
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: should be known.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Is it really?
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that was the last thing that he
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: shouted before he died. It was like, you know, send
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: my heart five doors up from five guys.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: And is St. Nicholas, is he buried in Dublin? Am
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I wrong?
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: No, that's only what the parents tell their kids. But
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: come here, Tom. While we're on the saints of things,
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: do you know that there is a patron saint of
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: music and musicians?
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: No. Who?
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: Yes, indeed. That is Saint Cecilia. Saint Cecilia.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: You're breaking my heart.
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: Feast day, November 22nd. But she is, yeah, she is
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: the patron saint of music and of musicians. But here's
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: the thing, Tom. It doesn't specify what music she's a
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: patron saint of. So I reckon that does leave a
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: window open for someone to be the patron saint of
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: country music. And I do believe we have a lady
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: that might fill those boots.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: At the very least, a subcategory. Maybe she's, you know,
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: assistant deputy to, you know, artists. And there's none for
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: actual artists. It's music, is it?
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: That is. And Cecilia is music and musicians, Tom. And
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: that is the extent of research I've done for this podcast.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: That's fair enough. That's absolutely fair enough. Right. Let's jump
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: in for anybody. Yeah. Okay.
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: Let's let's make some sense, dude.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Prior to this, I had no idea. I had thought
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: a couple of things maybe, but I thought it was like, hey,
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: roll the dice. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I thought it was,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: that's what it was. But there are some very strict
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: guidelines when it comes to sainthood slash beatification. Let's jump
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: in and see what they are. So as mentioned, there's
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: some serious criteria to land in yourself that saintly blue tick.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: So if you're thinking about it, yourself might be in
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: line for the owl nod because you did that 24
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: hour fast in fifth class. Or, you know, you gave
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: a lad a euro out of your ashtray to get
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: the trolley out a little. then have a gander at
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: these first before you get your hopes up. Had you
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: any notions here?
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: I had it floating. I had a couple of very
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: specific things. And as we crossed them here, Tom, I'll
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: shout them out. But the one thing that stuck in
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: my mind was like three strikes, you're in.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, right. Well, I reckon a good few people have
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: probably gotten the strikes, but I'd say it still comes
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: down to the big boy at the top. Like they
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: took that man 36 years to get. You know, it's
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: not like a political position. People are dying off and
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: making space. Once you're in, you're in. There ain't no
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: tighter club than this.
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: It's the sort of... the premium VIP lounge of heaven
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: is for the saints. Little child in me really thought like, oh,
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: you do three, perform three miracles you're in. That was
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: as much as I knew about becoming a saint.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: There's a little bit more. Now, technically, Ger, anybody can
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: become a saint. I mean, in the same way, anybody
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: can throw the winning pass at the Super Bowl. You
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? But the reality is, I reckon
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: you got to kind of be in the door, but
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: they ain't saying it out loud, which is very, you know,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: political out of them, really. Like it keeps everybody kind
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: of hoping. But anyone can become a saint of the
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Roman Catholic Church. But this status is only granted after death, typically.
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: There's your problem.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Look, I think in this instance, we can definitely put,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: we can do up a dossier, I think, anyway, throughout this.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Fair enough. You know, I think, you know, get it
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: ready in, for, I suppose, express post. Furthermore, to achieve
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: this beatified status, which is to be a sainthood, one
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: must lead a heroically virtuous life. Now, keep that in mind, right?
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: On strictest accord with the teachings of the Church, embracing charity, faith, hope,
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: and other virtues. One must also perform miracles during their
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: life and either be martyred in the name of their
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: religion or be responsible for miracles posthumously. After that, the
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: canonization procedure must begin at least five years after the
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: person's death. However, the Pope can make exceptions for this rule,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: as in the case of our motherfucking Teresa, by the way.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: who became a candidate after only two years. I mean,
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: that's top of the class stuff, isn't it?
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: You know what that is, Tom? I reckon that's getting
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: her into the sainthood before some bad press hits.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: That's what I thought, because apparently she, you know, she
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: was in with a few dodgy characters, apparently. Overall, she
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: did good, but apparently she was a bit of a
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: dodgy one.
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: You know, we let the readers look into her herself,
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: but we're not saying that she was running guns for
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: the Calcutta Mafia or anything like that. But we're not
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: Nazi in that, Tom.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. She was friends with a few leaders of certain
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: countries that you go, really? Really? Okay. All right. Fair enough.
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean, like, here's the thing. Mother Teresa is
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: proof that if someone wants you to get something, you'll
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: fucking get it.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: All right?
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: If someone wants you to have a job, you'll get it.
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: You know, if they're the right person in the right
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: place at the right time.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Like, it's kind of written in that it's got
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: to be a minimum of five years. I'll... Fabrizio what
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: was his name from that got shot at the altar.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: Oscar Romero's fucking sitting around for like my entire lifetime.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: Before he even gets a sniff of the whole thing
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: so two years in it can be done that's all
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: I'm saying so if that can be that rule can
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: be bent but we will explain how.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah and fucking Oscar Romero never took a fucking kilo
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: of coke in his carry-on bag when he was flying
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: from country to country unlike some saints we could mention.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Who nose at the end of the day with a
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: name like Oscar Romero I'm sorry that's that's just too
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: badass to not be carrying a little bit a little
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: bit of bag around with.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: You I just I just keep thinking of Cesar Romero
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: the original Joker.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: That's what I was thinking and who wouldn't shave off
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: his moustache when they put.
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: The white paint on him wouldn't get rid of the moustache.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I love that I love that paint over it that's
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: what paint over it paint over it these are the
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: stages Ger these are the stages the process of canonisation
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: can be divided into four stages so number one Now,
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: these are very much the ones, and then we'll explain
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: how we're going to bend them to our will when
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: we need them to. Servant of God. A formal request
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: for an individual can be considered for sainthood is submitted
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: to a special Vatican tribunal, which technically is kind of us, really.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: We're putting forward this, submitting this request. The request must
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: explain how the person lived a life of holiness, pureness, kindness,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: and devotion. If the candidate meets the requirements, the tribunal...
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: officially recognize this person as a servant of god like
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: the blues brothers.
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: Like fucking jake and elwood yeah on a mission from
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: god all right here's the thing though this is what
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: throws me straight away this is why like you know
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: you can't be this tells me that you can't be
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: a late bloomer and be a saint you need to
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: have a lot a of holiness you can't suddenly just
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: turn your life around in your 30s and be as
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: holy as you fucking want you know you're not getting
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: into the club no matter how good.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: You are yeah it kind of looks like it's got
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: to be the full stint you know you've got to
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: be a lifer look unless you did some unbelievable shit
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: from your 30s onwards, you know? No, no.
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: Do you know what this is, Tom? This strikes me
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: that you have to be one of these fucking kids
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: that never missed a day at school. Yeah. 18 years
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: and never missed a day at school and to say
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: that proudly like anybody gives a shit.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Typically, unless they find something like that, they got to
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: twitch in their eye for the rest of it. You
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: got to be, you know, you got to be a
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: little weird to be that straight. Nobody's that straight.
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: But the point is, like, if you turn around, Tom,
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: and decide in sixth class, okay, I'm never going to
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: miss a day at school. You know what? No, you've
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: already missed plenty. It doesn't matter going forward. You're fucked.
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: So I think this game's rigged a little bit. Just
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: a little bit.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe your parents were in on it at the top.
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: Who knows?
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Who knows? Let's investigate. Maybe there's a couple more.
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: We'll have to investigate. And for our subject here, Tom,
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: we're going to have to investigate. Has Dolly lived a
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: life of holiness, pureness, kindness and devotion like from day one?
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: Or was she playing five finger fillet with a switchblade
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: around the back of the bike sheds at school and
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: only got good later on?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Let's find out as we read on. So, Second level,
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: much like, you know, something out of Indiana Jones where
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: you got to get through, it's heroically virtuous. Oh, Jesus Christ.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I want that in a T-shirt. The tribunal report is
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: sent to the congreg... Wait, you hear this for a name.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: If ever there was an invention of an official society
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: of brothers of lads who actually had big jobs. Sent
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: to the Congregation for Causes of the Saints at the Vatican.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: That's the actual official title. Talk about an absolute quango job,
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: if ever. That is 2006 written all over it, doesn't it?
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: That's like fucking hellboy working for the Bureau of Paranormal
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: Research and Development. Like, it's just fucking.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: Exactly. So this particular congregation is comprised of theologians, cardinals,
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: archbishops and bishops. They study the person's life and writings
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: to ensure they are in line with the teachings of
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: the church. Yelp reviews rarely taken into consideration, I'm told.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: The candidate must be found to possess four cardinal virtues
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: and three theological virtues to be declared venerable of heroic virtue. Now,
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: what are these virtues? And how will they fare up
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: against some of these, I hear you ask? So the
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: cardinal ones are these. Prudence.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: Should I.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, Jerry.
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: I used to know these. I used to know these
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: for my communion, Tom.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: You had a strict communion. I think I just got asked,
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: you know, who had the WWF title at the time.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: To be honest, that priest was pretty cool.
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: He was pretty relaxed like that. Oh, no. Did you
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: not have to, like, you know, to line off your fucking,
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: all this kind of shit?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: Very little. He was a very cool priest. He wanted
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: to know who was starting full forward for Tipperary at
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: the time. And who was the WWE big champion? That
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: was pretty much it. He was a pretty cool guy.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: You know, he worked nice. He didn't just wear the
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: regular stock jumpers. His jumpers had like Ralph Lauren and stuff.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Same man quit the priesthood actually because he was too
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: good looking. He was a bit of an Oscar Romero himself.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: And certain things can come calling when a man is
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: that good looking.
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: So, you know. Hope he didn't quit the priesthood the
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: way Oscar Romero quit the priesthood.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Gee, hey, whoa. I better get a look at this
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: guy actually again. So the Cardinal ones are these. Prudence. Justice. Temperance.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: And courage. Now, I know you know temperance because that
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: came up in last week's episode, didn't it?
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: Temperance is sobriety.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Keeping her straight, down the line, never wiggling into the
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: ditch every so often. Ger, already I think we're racking
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: the sideboards here already.
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: That's what they call falling at the first fence there, Tom.
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: But for Dolly, as we'll get into it later on,
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: perhaps she might. Is Dolly Parton a hard drinker? What
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: do you fucking think? What about Prudence and Justice, the
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: fucking terror twins over here?
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: So what do you reckon Prudence, what do you reckon
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Prudence is?
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: I always just knew it as a lady's name. I mean,
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: justice is justice, what is right and just. Prudence, Tom? No,
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: what's the dictionary definition of that?
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Being a cute whore, basically. Genuinely, if you were to break, like,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: it's like being, you know, tidy with your money and stuff.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Don't be, don't be flechulach, as they'd say in Irish.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Do you know, don't be, don't be throwing yourself around
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: the place like. It's, but being cute.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: It's sensibility, isn't it?
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's prudent. You know, it would be prudent. It's prudent.
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, prudent.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Some definitions would say, oh, it's absolutely, you know, saving money.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: And it's not, it's not really, it's bottom line, being
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: a cute whore and not too flahooloch. You remember in
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: The Goodfellas when, you know, when they did the big
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: heist and all of a sudden your man shows up
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: in a fucking mink coat and Robert De Niro snaps.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: He's like, the fuck you doing? I told you no big,
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: you know. he was not being very prudent in that moment.
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, that's in the director's cut. He goes, hey, motherfucker,
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: didn't I tell you to be fucking prudent? Didn't I
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: fucking tell you to be prudent? I can't get no fucking,
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: I can't get no fucking prudence around here, huh?
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: You bunch of no prudence motherfuckers. You're some no prudence.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: And the final, the final cardinal one is courage. So courage, obviously. Yeah, courage.
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: You gotta be brave okay you gotta fucking be that
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: Indiana Jones you gotta fucking penitent man kneels before God.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Tom Sparta basically send your child out to fight the
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: wolves you know courage we all get that.
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: That's not courage on your behalf you're just sending the
• 25:07
  Speaker 5: kid out it's courage on the child's behalf.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: There are three theological ones or theological whichever you prefer
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: faith hope and charity now if you're wondering yes those
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: are three members of the Dingle family in Emmerdale actually
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: it's I've only just spotted that.
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: I was going to say, is that the Dixie Chicks?
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: It could be, it could be, but it's definitely, there's
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: at least two of them that are definitely Dingle members
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: in the family. And I haven't seen Emmerdale in 10 years,
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: but I definitely remember there was a couple of them
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: that had names.
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: I will say there absolutely was a charity Dingle.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: There was, yeah. So obviously, I mean, in reality, faith,
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: hope and charity, we get that. We get what the
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: hell they mean, right? So you've got, those are seven,
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: those are seven virtues of, Seven virtues. Hey, anybody listening
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: along going, hey, fucking hell, I am doing all right here.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: You're probably either totally delusional or a bit of a
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: boring shit. Or maybe you're rocking your way to beatification now.
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: You know, the second level of it there, Tom, number one,
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: be a servant of God. That was handy enough. Level two,
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: be heroically virtuous. I mean, I haven't seen the levels
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: go up in hardness that quickly since Sonic the fucking Hedgehog.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: Where the first one is like, yeah, run around this
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: green field. And then the second level is like, oh,
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: catch these bubbles underwater or you'll fucking drown.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: It was quite a steep curve there, all right. I think,
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: to be fair, I think the first one is almost
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: like the line where it says, anyone can become a saint.
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: It's basically like that.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: It's basically saying, anybody could be Tom Brady and play
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: into their mid-forties throwing touchdown winning passes for fucking thousand yards.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: That's the, like, Almost fucking nobody.
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: Then we have fucking two more levels to go here.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It ain't even close to
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: being finished. So beatification and miracles is the third one. Now,
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: if a person was martyred, like himself, like Romero, suffered
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: death or persecution in the name of their faith. I
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: don't know if he was shot for being a Catholic priest,
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: but maybe he was.
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: That was exactly why he was... Precisely why he was shot.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, was it? Okay, well, there you go. I mean, he's...
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Listen to this now. He almost jumps all of this
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: because Purely bit that, right? He jumps a lot of
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: the hoops in number three because he bit the dust,
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: bought the farm, as they say. So he or she
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: can be beatified and named blessed without further investigation. Deal
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: done if you are blasted away, not just because, you know,
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: you knocked off a liquor store the night before and
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: the owner's catching up with you. If you were shot
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: in the middle of and for the reason of your faith, then,
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: you know, you can potentially jump all these next ones. Now,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: the investigation can end there, straight in, top of the list. Which,
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: after 36 years, obviously happened to Elder Oscar. Now, this
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: is locally recognized sainthood whereupon the person may be worshipped
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: in his or her city, diocese, region, or religious community.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: That's Oscar, all day long. Now, if you haven't been martyred,
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: you must be responsible for the occurrence of a posthumous
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: miracle verified by the congregation. Meaning, you pull a miracle
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: off while you're dead. Now, I don't know.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: I mean.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: It's fucking hard enough when you're alive. Jesus.
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: I mean, like, you know, we're going to get into
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: miracles here, Tom. But like, you know, again, miracles is
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: thrown around, okay? Like, you stumbling on the last step
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: when you're drunk, but miraculously righting yourself before you paint
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: yourself on the bottom of that. I go, oh my God,
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: that was a miracle. That wasn't a miracle, Tom. No,
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: it was not.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Like, Cork people use a phrase, You are haunted, which
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: means just that. You are actually miraculously saved in that moment. Literally,
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: it could mean that you got onions on your burger
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: when you hadn't asked for them, but they arrived on
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: it anyway. That's to be also a miracle. That's not
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: a miracle. Miracles are fucking big jobs. Actual miracles. So
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: these miracles could include stigmata. The saint's body shows signs
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: of the five crucifixion wounds of Christ.
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: List them out for the non-believers there, Tom. So, there
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: are two.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: In the hands, two in the feet, and one in
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: the side, I'm thinking. Am I right?
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: Am I right, Ger? Yeah, your left side where his
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: heart was pierced, our Lord's heart was pierced, you know.
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: I know this is a podcast so you're not going
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: to see it but Tom's after listening to Stigmata and
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: it was very much like a Ryanair safety demonstration.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: I did I fucking held up my own hands and feet.
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah I was like two in the hands one left
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: one right two in the feet, one left, one right.
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: Good Jesus.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Good, literally, good Jesus. Literally. So the saints.
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: Yes, indeed.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you can show them, like Padre Pio had those,
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: didn't he? He had them, if I remember correctly.
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: More on that later.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: More on that later. Levitation. The saint is able to float.
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: In water, surely.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: We could really do with theologian. I know somebody who
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: actually has a degree in this who would be brilliant
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: to sit along. Oh no, they'd nerd it up. Literally,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: we're getting through the facts just so that we can
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: jump into the dolly side of things.
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: Throw him on out there, yeah.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Exactly. So we'll assume that it's floating like, you know,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: the blue guy.
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: Like David Blaine, yeah.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: With his flute hanging out in the... Are they the
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: mystery men or what?
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: The watchmen.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: The watchmen. So the third one is, the third major one. Biolocation.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: the person is able to appear in two places at once,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: like the aforementioned David Blaine.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: Or the Prestige. Spoiler alert.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, the Prestige. There are other ones accepted too, Ger.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: There's other ones accepted that are, you know, in or around.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: If you got a couple of these in, you're pretty
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: much looking good. Healings. Attribute to the saint's intervention or
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: contact with relics belonging to the saint. So, you know,
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: you'll hear of people touching the bones or maybe a
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: little bit of a relic, a little bit of rag
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: inside one of those little, you know, Scapulas kind of things.
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Liquefication. That's a word you don't hear too often, right?
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: The body of the saint or the representation thereof liquefies
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: each year on the day of his or her death.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: I should have looked into this further.
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: Yes. I'll give you one for that. There's a well
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: out in Dundalk that is a shrine to Our Lady.
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: They call it Lady's Lady Well. And every year on
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: the feast day of Our Lady, it fills with water.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Does it actually?
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: And you go out you go out and you, and it's,
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: oh yeah, I went to it every fucking year for
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: 20 years when I was a young fella. Was brought
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: out to it. I wasn't like raring to go to
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: it like it was slain or something. And you go
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: out and you filled your bottle, you filled your empty
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: two litre, your three litre country spring bottle with Ladywell
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: water and that done you. That was your holy water
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: for the year. Was there water in that well every
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: other day of the year, Tom? Was the council turning
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: on a tap and filling it with water on demand?
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: You know, let us know in the comments.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: On that one, on the basis of that one, I
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: want to know more of what, there's a place up
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: the road here called St. Pecan is his name. I
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: don't know what he's the saint of. It's a cool name,
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: like pecan. Nuts.
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it could be.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: All I know is that they used to have mass
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: there every year out in this cool old, like, you know,
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: fallen down old monastery that was there. And I used
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: to have to serve mass, but you get 20 quid
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: for it. You get 20 quid for serving mass.
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: 20 bucks is 20 bucks.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: 20 bucks is 20 bucks. And you get all the
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: crisps and score you want to have afterwards with your parents,
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: but you would get eaten alive by little midges. Anyway.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: This is it. Yeah, I get this liquefication. The body
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: of the saint or the representation thereof, so their shrines
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: and all this kind of thing produce water on the
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: year of his or her death. That's all over the fuck.
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: In fact, now that I think of it, St. Lazarus
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: has a well in Dunham. Mine does the same job.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Say no more. I want to hear more of these
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: from around the country.
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: That's fucking, that's two of them, that's two of them
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: within a half day's drive of Carrick Macross, Kennedy Monaghan.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: There's a high water table. around that part of the country,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I do believe.
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: What can I say?
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: The next one is incorruptibility. The body of the person
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: who is already buried does not decay.
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: This was always one that I had heard, Tom, about
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: saints is that they didn't rot in the grave. That
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: if you went down and you dug them up 30
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: years later and they still look the way they looked beforehand,
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: that that was the hallmark of a saint, which is why, like,
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: you know, to me, that's an easy thing to check
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: right there.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Now, this next one is the one I had
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: heard of. Don't know why I heard this one. It's
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: odour of sanctity. The body expels a sweet odor instead
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: of the normal posthumous odors. So none of that stank,
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: you know, that you'd see people in, you know, the
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: silence of the lands rubbing the stuff under their nose.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I've heard stories of it, you know, being that way.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know. So those are the miracles that are
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: kind of accepted and will get you a shoe in.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: I'm sure others would be, you know, would be looked
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: into if, you know, you were able to bring stuff
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: back to life. then I think they'd probably give that
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: a look too. But those are the typical ones that
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: if you got a couple of them in post-death, during life,
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: then things are looking good for you. Here's the final stage,
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: the big box.
• 33:56
  Speaker 5: I do want to say before, I just want to
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: say before we move on, Tom, that the odour of
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: sanctity just really sounds like something that Monty Python and
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: the Holy Grail have got along the way.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: It does, it really does. I bless you with the
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: odour of sanctity. This is the Hurley hand grenade of Antioch.
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: Count.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Count us to four and not to five. The owner
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: of sanctity. We are the knights who say ni. Anyway.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: One last one before because we've got to lay out
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: the We've got to lay out the ground rules. The
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: one more demonstrated posthumous miracle must occur as a result
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: of the person's intercession for the person to be canonized.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: So you've got to pull off one more miracle as
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: a result of you when you're brown bread. The person
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: is then canonized through the formal papal decree. that the
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: candidate is holy and in heaven with God. The Pope
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: makes the declaration during a special mass in honour of
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: the new saint. Now you're a made guy. What are
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: the perks? Well, can anyone say merch?
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: Huh?
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: Cha-ching!
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: And lots of it. Masses, prayers, feast days, and even
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: the odd Christy Moore song may feature you. It's all
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: the way to Easy Street once a person gets that
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: golden halo, Ger. We talked about it already. There ain't no...
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: You are made beyond made. Imagine how proud... your family
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: would be. There's no coming back from that. There's nothing.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: You're untouchable. You are a made guy at that stage.
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's really something, Tom, there that you just
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: said something there that really blew my mind. The Pope
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: has to confirm without a shadow of a doubt that
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: you are in heaven.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: He had a look.
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's not that, you know, just on your deathbed,
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: you said, fuck it, and started, you know, pulling yourself
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: and caution and saying, all kinds of mad shit. And
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: God was like, ah, you fucking fell at the last
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: hurdle there, kid. Straight to hell with you, you know?
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I thought we're all going to heaven.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: But it would seem in this particular case that the
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: big man can actually have a look or at least
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: text and find out for shiz that you're definitely in heaven. Hey,
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: a lot of people believe in strange things. You know,
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of conspiracies out there. Who knows? I
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: don't know. Who knows? But I'm just giving you the criteria.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: I don't think you're, I don't think, in all fairness,
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: anybody who's listened to the previous five seasons of the
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Tom and Jerry show will pretty much be able to,
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: you could literally write a rough shot biography on the
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: two of us. And I don't think we're, I don't
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: think we're making it. No, I don't think we're on
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: the list tonight. We ain't getting in. We ain't getting
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: in the club, Jeff.
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: But if you do get in Tom and you've touched
• 36:33
  Speaker 5: on it there, if you do get in, did you
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: know that the Roman Catholic church has no process of
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: examining the case once you're made a saint? There's no
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: official reopening of the book. Once you're made a saint,
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: they shut the book, they put it in a file,
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: in a filing cabinet, and that's it. So if you
• 36:53
  Speaker 5: come along and go, wait a second, there's new evidence
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: that they shot dogs on a weekly basis, the file
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: is closed. The dossier is not going to be reopened.
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: You are a saint for keeps.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I've heard that before, and do you know what it is?
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: They either do an unbelievably thorough, although I mean, in
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: all fairness, Mother Teresa's one was kind of, you know,
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: it was sped through the books there. It was rushed through.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: It was rushed through. Man, you want to cover, like
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: CIA level, you want to cover your ass. You can't
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: have anything springing up. They got to talk to your
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: best friend when you're in primary school. Did you, you know,
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: did you ever pick your nose and eat it? That
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: kind of stuff. they would have everything crossed off on you.
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: With mild research, Tom, I think that you can lose
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: your feast day.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Ooh.
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: But you're still an official saint. So that's a real
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: sort of like, hey, you know what? We're going to
• 37:37
  Speaker 5: move you into an executive role, okay? You're still with
• 37:39
  Speaker 5: the company, but we're not just going to have you.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: We're just moving you to the bank. We're just moving
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: you to the bank.
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it.
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: I get it.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I get it. It happens. It happens to special agents
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: all the time. Somebody fucks up in Kabul, all of
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: a sudden now they're pushing a pencil in, you know,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: over in Langley. It happens. You don't get thrown off
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: the job, but you do kind of get demoted.
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: Anyway, I can't see myself levitating at any point in
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: this life, given that this fucking chair that I have
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: won't even stay up. I can't imagine the odour I
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: emit after I pass will be sweet.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Not one chair. And it's me being honest. I'm sure
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: I'm some way a decent bloke. Maybe I've had courage
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: a few times. No, maybe not even... I'm not even
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: fucking prudent, Tom. Yeah, and you're from Monaghan. You would
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: be pretty... You'd be a cute whore at the best
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: of times, but I don't think you match up to
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: the level of prudence they're looking for. Temperance, forget about it.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: I don't get any of these.
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: You know, none of them. I'm fucking 0 for 4
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: on that whole list.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Me too. So, that being said, now we've learned a
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: little about the Catholic Church and what it takes. So,
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: you know the rules of the game. Let's see who
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: we're talking about when we say the name Dolly Parton
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: up front. Like I said, we're only giving a brief biography.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: These are all, we went investigating to see could we
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: find the bits of Dolly that would make her a saint.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: So don't worry if we miss some stuff, but I'll
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: give you a very brief background on who we're talking about.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Dolly Rebecca Parton was born in January 19th, 1946 in
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: Locust Ridge, Tennessee. An American country singer, Music singer, guitarist,
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: actress Best known for pioneering The interface between Country and
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: pop music styles Parton was born To a poor farming
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: family The fourth of twelve children I mean that's pretty
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Catholic Right there God damn Yeah I know And they
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: all lived like They all lived those mountain people. She
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: displayed an aptitude and passion for music at an early age.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: And as a child, she was featured singer and guitarist
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: on a local radio and television shows in Knoxville, Tennessee.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: In 1964, immediately following, literally she did this the next day,
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: the following day, following her high school graduation on a Friday,
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Saturday morning, she set out for Nashville to pursue a
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: career in country music. In Nashville, Parton became a protege
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: to country music singer and Grand Ole Opry star, Porter Wagner.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: Great name. Through repeated appearances on Wagner's syndicated TV show.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: Parton gained close to Cole.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: Isn't it a great, I'm just, I love saying Porter Wagner.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: What a great name. It's probably his name is probably Jerry.
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: Do you know what?
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Do you know what?
• 40:11
  Speaker 5: Do you know what Porter? Do you know what? Porter
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: Wagner is like the name you give to the cops
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: when they stop you and you're drunk and you look
• 40:18
  Speaker 5: around and there's like a guy carrying shit out of
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: a hotel and putting it in the back of a van.
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: And like, what's your name, boy? My name is Porter Wagner.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I must look into it and see if it's his
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: real name. It's a great name.
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: For those that are listening, it's spelled Wagner. W-A-G-G-O-N-E-R.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: Like somebody who builds wagons.
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: Like Robert Wagner.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: If you look it up, you know, Dolly on the way,
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: it's his twee, as you imagine, the plywood painted fucking
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: farmyard behind him. And, you know, he walks around and
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: he's like, Yeah, we're going to bring out a little
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: girl here to play. And it's just the way they
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: spoke back then. But she was, in fairness, she was
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: sassy enough. You know, she stood her ground and she was,
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: she knew how to play the game too, you know, so.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: But she has soon attracted the attention of the music industry.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Set it up front.
• 41:08
  Speaker 5: You don't fuck around with Dolly Parton.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: You just don't. You don't because she's a stone cold killer.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: Like she just, she demanded respect from the get go.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: At four foot 11, she just demanded respect from the
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: get go. And everybody does. Industry moguls from RCA Records
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: and subsequently recorded more than a dozen hit songs together
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: with Wagner on the RCA label, owing much of her
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: association to, she's very good now, she did, she always
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: paid tribute to Wagner. Parton rapidly emerged as one of
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: country music's popular singer. Can you imagine in the 60s
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: and 70s, Ger, in country music of all genres, going
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: out on your own, you know what I mean, as
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: a woman? As a woman, full stop and just going,
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: this is me, you know what I mean? The tie
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: rope you'd have to play.
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: Tom, I can't even imagine growing up in a place
• 41:57
  Speaker 5: called Locust Ridge.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: I know. Genuinely, Locust Ridge in the Smoky Mountains.
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: And we'll get into it a little bit later on.
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: But the nearest town, I hadn't heard of Locust Ridge.
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: If you'd asked me where Dolly Parton was from, I
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: would have given you the name of the nearest bigger city.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: And that's Pigeon Forge yeah Pigeon Forge yeah yeah she's
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: got a ton of business in Pigeon Forge and you're.
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: Like okay I get the naming scheme here okay what
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: is there the most of and roughly speaking what does
• 42:26
  Speaker 5: this place look like well you know it's a forge
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: and there's a lot of pigeons about the place great
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: what about what do we call that ridge over there
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: yeah what the what's it covered in fucking locusts man.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: You know like Christ just the place to.
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: Raise 12 kids yeah Yeah, and it's... I mean.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: By all accounts, when you listen to interviews with her,
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: it was a happy enough old place. Should they want
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: her for knocking? Because they had not. You know that
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: kind of way? They were just all fed and watered
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: and all the.
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: Rest of it. Because their coats were colourful. Yes, exactly.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: Oh, oh.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: That'll come up a few times in this show. And
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: feel free to drop in as many as those cars.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: She's written quite a few songs, that woman, so there's
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: quite a few you could pick from. And like we said,
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: to do it without any bitterness. You know the way sometimes...
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: not for the want of a better word, but you
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: see it sometimes, the people maybe from, that were always
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: punching up all their life. By the time they get there,
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: they're just this hardened old rock. You know what I mean?
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: They're gone. You know, Devil Wears Prada, fucking somebody from
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: the street. You know, you got 50 Cent didn't smile
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: until he was like 20 years into his, 10 years
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: into his career because he came from a hard place.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: She just smiled the whole way through it because she
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: was like, she would talk about one, one, vision of
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: just i'm getting to the top and it's going to
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: be class so chill.
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: It um it it really is amazing because all you
• 43:47
  Speaker 5: ever hear is that the music industry is this cutthroat
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: industry it's a real take no prisoners and and it
• 43:53
  Speaker 5: and it takes budding starlets and stars and just turns
• 43:56
  Speaker 5: them into like broken husks that are you know writing
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: pop songs for people 40 years younger than them not
• 44:02
  Speaker 5: the case with dolly she seems to have still have
• 44:05
  Speaker 5: that sort of youthful girlish energy that she would have
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: carried into the industry to begin with.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: And every interview watcher, she's so professional, but so confident
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: in how she doesn't feel like she has to project
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: anything other than what she actually is. So that's it.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: That's Dolly for the minute. Trust me, there's a gazillion
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: things you can go and watch on Dolly if you
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: really need to know more. There's a rake. We're going
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: to miss it all because essentially we're going after the
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: points up to four beatification rules. We're going after the
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: four of those and we're going to break them down
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: to see where dolly lines up very first one number
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: one was the servant of god so straight out the
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: gate this could be like you said earlier doors where
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: somebody just goes dolly partner saint yeah close the book
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: that's it done no more question because right here right
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: now dolly joined with country artist zach williams 2021 this
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: year to win this year her 11th i'm actually wrong
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: i wrote this in 11th her 17th grammy because she
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: has a couple of kind of other ones with 11th
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: Major Grammy for Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance for their
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: collaboration on a song called There Was Jesus. So, goodnight
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: and thanks everybody.
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: There's no... That's There Was Jesus as a statement, not
• 45:13
  Speaker 5: a question.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, there he is. There was Jesus there.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: There was Jesus? Nope, there he was. Yeah.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Like the two girls that saw Mary in Knock. Same thing.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: They got an airport. They got a Grammy. So....
• 45:27
  Speaker 5: I will say I'm not familiar with that song, nor
• 45:30
  Speaker 5: indeed the greater workings of Zach Williams. But what this
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: tells us, Tom, is that Dolly is still banging out
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: those Christian music hits. That's not something that she tried
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: for a little while. This is like very much part
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: of her. She is, it has to be said, a
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: servant of God.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: Here you go. Now, Ger, we are not a religious podcast, although...
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: you wouldn't know up until now. Do you know what?
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: It might be a bad idea.
• 45:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, a few people doing spit takes listening to this.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: What?
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: I know, I know.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: But look, this is what we wanted to do for
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: this one. And I can guarantee you, just like every
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: episode so far, nobody has attempted to do it how
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: we're doing it. So, welcome. Actually, a religious podcast might
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: be a bad idea. I'd say we'd be.
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: Top of this.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: I don't know where the Spotify religious charts are. But look,
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: in this instance, because this is not a religious podcast,
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: we're going to assume that God in this instance, Ger,
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: is actually country music. I'm turning the tables, you see. So,
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: never mind that dead for five years stuff. We're going
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: straight out the gate because look at Dolly Parton has
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: broken every rule in the book. So, God in this
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: instance and heaven and all the rest of it is
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: country music. And we'll look to see if Dolly did
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: live a life of holiness in that context, pureness and
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: devotion to the cause. To get her name on the
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: saint list So you get where I'm going with this
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: now I'm not Oh yeah absolutely We're not actually trying
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: to get her into it 100% Because I think she
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: was Pentecostal anyway I don't think she'd probably want to
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: be In the whole Like I said The 12 kids
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: in the family You wouldn't know by looking at it
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: But I think they were Pentecostal So she wouldn't be All.
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: Roads lead to Rome Tom Yeah.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: Exactly Exactly So in 1974 Parkland finished up with Wagner
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: Wagner On the launch of her solo career Badass She
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: could have stayed there She had it sweet Job for life, Tom.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: Job for life. County council work. Retired 55. So she
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: left to launch her solo career in which she enjoyed immediate,
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: like straight out the gate, immediate success. She knew what
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: she was doing. She knew what she was doing. She
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: pulled the trigger when it was needed to be pulled.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: In both 75 and 76, she was chosen female singer
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: of the year by the Country Music Association, otherwise known
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: as CMA, on the strength of the songs Jolene, Christ,
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: and Love is Like a Butterfly. I mean, everybody's given,
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: I've given Jolene a go myself on the old karaoke.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: It was about this time, Parton began to cross over
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: to the pop music market, introducing the old pop folk
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: to the word of country. You get what I'm saying?
• 47:58
  Speaker 5: I get you, buddy.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: In 1978, she won the Grammy Award. Grammy now, not
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: CMA Grammy for her song, Here You Come Again. I
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: was named Entertainer of the Year by the CMA, same year.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: As her career developed, Parton, received more Grammys, obviously, like
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: a bunch more of them, both for songs including 9
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: to 5 and Shine. I mean, 9 to 5 was
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: in 1980. Shine was in 2001. Who has that career?
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: I mean, good Christ. Tom, this is, and again, we
• 48:30
  Speaker 5: could be stretching the rules a little bit. It is
• 48:33
  Speaker 5: a life in service of country music. But like the
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: step from country music to God is a fucking straight line, Paul.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I get you. And I think that's why it
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: was easy enough to do it. It wasn't like I
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: was we were trying to see was Marilyn Manson going
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: to be.
• 48:47
  Speaker 5: Exactly.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: This isn't like, you know, getting Quentin Tarantino as a
• 48:51
  Speaker 5: saint on the strength of fucking Jackie Brown.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: We need to do that episode.
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: Coming in season seven. Everything that Dolly has done, as
• 49:02
  Speaker 5: far as I can see, has got a little bit
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: of God in it.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: It absolutely does. Like, it's definitely got a little bit,
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: it's got a lot of good through it. Like, there's
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: a through line of goodness through everything she's doing. And
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: she's just, I mean, I don't know, they talk about,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: you know, setting your goals and stuff, but it's like
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: this woman has just read the game or something. It's
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: just nothing but, net nothing but net three pointers over
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: her shoulder like you know I mean there's.
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: A case to be had Tom for saying that her
• 49:27
  Speaker 5: career is somewhat miraculous.
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah I mean I mean when we joked about it
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: you know you don't slip while drunk that's miraculous I
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: don't think people grasp the fucking magnitude of Of winning
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: a Grammy. Of all the fucking people you've ever heard
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: sing in a pub, sing at work, who's half decent,
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: you tried it yourself in the car. Of all the
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: people that have ever attempted to sing, perform, do anything.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: To get to the level where you're winning Grammys and
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: in the same year you're winning Singer of the Year
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: over in country, down in tennis, you know, Nashville. Like, what? Ridiculous, like.
• 50:03
  Speaker 5: This is, this is what gets me, Tom, that like,
• 50:06
  Speaker 5: you know, 30, 40 years later, Taylor Swift comes on
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: along and blends pop and country and everyone's like, wow,
• 50:12
  Speaker 5: this has never been done before. And I'm over here
• 50:14
  Speaker 5: having a fucking stroke.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: You're like, excuse me, bitch. Have a look-see. Have a look.
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: You still got the minerals, girl. Oi, you got the minerals?
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: Have a fucking look. Because Dolly was doing this shit
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: when nobody, and the amount of people that have tried
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: to replicate her. You know, she really, that can only be,
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: I suppose you can only take that as a compliment
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: if you are Dolly Parton, but the amount of people,
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: I mean, Fair play. She could have gone down that route,
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: but her goddaughter, who is Miley Cyrus.
• 50:42
  Speaker 5: Yes, indeed.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: It was all laid out in front of Miley Cyrus
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: to be the next, you know, the next, you know,
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: Reva McIntyre or the next whatever, Dolly Parton. It was
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: all laid out in front of her father, Christ Almighty.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: Don't break my heart. My achy, breaky heart. Yes. And
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: Dolly Parton as your godmother. She goes off on her
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: own thing and does her own thing. That was pretty
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: cool because I think she even said to herself, where
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: would I be going? What would I be doing? What
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: are you doing if Dolly Parton is a godmother and
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: she's still working. I can't compete with that. So I
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: got to go do the Rocky stuff and the Poppy stuff.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: I can't compete with that. It's Dolly fucking Parton. That's classy.
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: I don't mind that Miley Cyrus one bit. I think
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: she's pretty cool.
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she is actually pretty cool. If anybody wants to
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: have a look at a very cool moment, she sang
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: with Billy Idol on stage, which is a pretty cool move.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: And she did a rebel yell. Anyway, we agreed. Gerard,
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: do you agree? If God in this instance is country music,
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: does she get through the first hurdle? Does our dossier
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: get it in in front of the congregation?
• 51:38
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, Tom.
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 51:40
  Speaker 5: Especially seeing as how you could take, in my mind,
• 51:43
  Speaker 5: you could take every single Dolly Parton song, even the
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: ones that aren't directly about God, and there are fucking several,
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: but you could take songs like I Will Always Love
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: You and sing it as a Christian rock song and say, well,
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: she's really talking about God and it absolutely works.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. That's a valid point. That's a valid point.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: Islanders in the stream even with, what do we call it?
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: Could be sang at mass.
• 52:04
  Speaker 5: She has aced the Green Hill zone. Okay, now we're.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: Getting into the tough bit here. Now this will be,
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: we're going to hop all over the place here. Just
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: scooping up little bits of dollyisms and dolly factoids. I
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: don't think it's going to take a lot of effort,
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: but I just want to see, can we align her
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: with the criteria that we outlined in number two, where you, Ger,
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: said literally it was just a vertical wall to the
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: next level. So, yeah, It's going to be tricky. Let's
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: see how Dolly's virtuous levels. Now, keep in mind, we
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: talked at the top of the show that, yes, she
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: portrays and she has a phrase herself. It takes a
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: hell of a lot of money to look this cheap,
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: which was one of the best lines. I love it.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: Do you know what? Those kind of lines like, you know,
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Sunday morning coming down like these lines that say they're
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: so tight, like it took a lot of money to
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: make me look this cheap. I didn't get to where
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: I was by worrying about how I'm going to feel tomorrow.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: You know, like those lines are just, put them on
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: a t-shirt. Those are bumper sticker lines like, you know.
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: I'm taking it to a comedy level, Tom, but you
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: can't heckle Dolly Parton. She's ahead of you every fucking
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: step of the way.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Every step. Why do you think I've got a mullet
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: in the moustache now? I'm coming back. I'm coming back
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: into the game after lockdown going, motherfuckers, come at me.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Come at me. Because I already, I already pulled the
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: pin on your grenade. She has all the pins. You
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: can't come at Dolly. You just can't come at her.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: And then she knocks you out of the park with
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: her talent.
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: There you go.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: In the 1980s, right? So now this is, we're going,
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: we're going, picking through the life of Dolly here to
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: see if we can pick up all those seven, those
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: virtue levels, those cardinal virtues, basically, and the theological ones.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: But we'll see if they're in there. I'm guessing they're
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: in there relative to country movies. In the 1980s, Parton
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: appeared in several successful films, most notably 9 to 5
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Now that was
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: a courageous move, albeit, But a bit of a mark
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: on her card there, Dolly. You know, you know, a
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: bit of a bowed name, a bit of a bowed name,
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: but you know what, if you get offered a job by,
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: you know, the bandit, fucking Burt Reynolds, of course you're
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: going to be in the movie, for Christ's sake. It's
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: Burt Reynolds. You're going to be the bandit.
• 54:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, except for the, in this analogy, Tom, Burt Reynolds
• 54:12
  Speaker 5: is the actual devil.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: Right enough. You're actually right.
• 54:17
  Speaker 5: So, okay, yeah. But I can see where you're going there.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: But she did revive one of the most popular songs
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: for that particular one, which you are going to tell
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: us why it basically saves her grace here. So I
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: wanted to show you the possible human side of her here,
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: where she was all fucking sailed close to the old
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: hot fire there, but she pulled back out of the
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: fire with a song called I Will Always Love You,
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: which later in the 90s was handed over, or at least,
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: shall we say, out to who, Jerry?
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: Ha ha!
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: I don't fucking know why Tom. It's Whitney Houston, right?
• 54:55
  Speaker 5: My mind was just about to go, Michelle Williams. And
• 55:01
  Speaker 5: I'm like, Michelle Williams fucking, he Ledger's widow? Where the
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: fuck did that come out of? Fucking lady from Dawson's Creek.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: What the fuck?
• 55:10
  Speaker 5: No, Whitney Houston. Brain's just not, brain just failed me there. Yes,
• 55:15
  Speaker 5: Michelle Williams did not sing I Will Always Love You.
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: Whitney Houston did. Possibly she did, but not to the
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: success for the film The Bodyguard that Whitney Houston did
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: in 1989. So, I mean, you have a little factoid
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: there that I didn't even realise as a result. Now,
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: you'd think that Dolly was, okay, she's a wealthy woman.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: She's written so many songs. Like, honestly, we could have
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: done a whole episode on just the songs she has
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: sold to other people or written for other people. Like,
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: mind-blowing who she's written for. Like, fucking everybody. Elton John.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like, phenomenal. Like, she can
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: write at fucking number one on the back of a
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: fag box while fucking taking a dump. Like, it's ridiculous
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: how talented this woman is. But this song, I Will
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: Always Love You, which everybody knows.
• 55:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: She didn't just recoup the success in the royalties of
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: this chair, did she?
• 56:05
  Speaker 5: No, I mean, like, here's the thing. When you write,
• 56:07
  Speaker 5: you know, you have the writers of a song and
• 56:08
  Speaker 5: you have the performers of a song. Tommy, you and
• 56:10
  Speaker 5: I both know that the fucking writer gets all the royalties,
• 56:12
  Speaker 5: or at least the bulk of it. They get the
• 56:15
  Speaker 5: big piece of the pie. So Whitney wasn't starving off
• 56:17
  Speaker 5: the back of I Will Always Love You, but Dolly
• 56:19
  Speaker 5: made something like $ 10 million off the back of it.
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, lovely.
• 56:22
  Speaker 5: And with that money, she invested in an office complex
• 56:24
  Speaker 5: in one of the poorer, more black areas of Nashville.
• 56:29
  Speaker 5: as a way to give back to the black community
• 56:31
  Speaker 5: to honour Whitney Houston. And they went in and they
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: built up this big office complex in a fairly run-down
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: area of town, creating jobs, creating energy around the area,
• 56:41
  Speaker 5: and basically turning it on its head.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: Who does that? Do you know what I mean? Like,
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: you never hear that. Like, I'm sure there are philanthropic
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: people around the place, but like, I mean, it'd be
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: so easy to not do that.
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: This woman acts like I like to think I would
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: act if I won a EuroMillions.
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: She is carrying it through.
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: She didn't just turn around and go, oh, the check
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: is in, is it? Give that to some of the
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: black lads downtown, will you? She didn't. She outlined, you
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: can be guaranteed she stood over the whole project. The
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: whole project, she stood over.
• 57:12
  Speaker 5: The whole thing. That place will be making money for
• 57:14
  Speaker 5: a hundred years.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Got the swinging power of Dolly, it'll always.
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, I hate to say it and she's still
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: with us, thankfully. But like, I think long after Dolly's gone,
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: there'll be Dolly. Like Dolly is just, it's up there
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: with Nike. at the moment.
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: It's something especially... Would they be.
• 57:32
  Speaker 5: A couple of posthumous miracles you're talking about there, Tom?
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: I'm just leaving it out there. I'm leaving it out there, Ger,
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: into the ether of your ears and the people's ears
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: to start making up their own mind. But we're not
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: even through it yet.
• 57:42
  Speaker 6: No!
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: We're not going to go through our whole life, but
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: I'm just touching off things just so people can start
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: making their own opinion on it. Now, I'm just throwing
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: this in there because it's just another one. Parton did
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: play a principal role. She can act. She can act
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: her ass off too. That's a talent to go from
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: singing to acting. It's Steel Magnolias now that's an absolute
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: dose of a movie in my book would I watch
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: it hungover you know needing a bit of a cry
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: yes I would but I'm I'm just I'm just noting
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: it because of the movie's absolute worldwide success just in
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: case you're wondering she was able to like that movie
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: has absolute stone cold killers of actors in it you
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: know you know unbelievably top end actors and she held
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: her own amongst them like the most kind of annoying
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: the most kind of annoying serious actor when all of
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: a sudden like you know oh here comes the old
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: country bumpkin music country music star oh shit she can
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: act as well as I can you know that must
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: kind of put you in your spot a small.
• 58:34
  Speaker 5: Bit it's very Beyonce-esque of her it's.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: A touch isn't it it's a touch but I would
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: wager yeah it's that triple threat you know I would
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: wager no I could be wrong I could be wrong
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: Beyonce could be a lovely woman it's not that she
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: just doesn't put much of her personal self out there
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: to the world from what I can tell she doesn't
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: she never smiles Christ she never smiles for one thing
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean so I don't know how
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: good bad or indifferent Beyonce is But her and Jay-Z
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: always looked like they were fucking pending ESB bill. Do
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? They've always looked sour.
• 59:04
  Speaker 5: If you've never seen Beyonce smile, Tom, then you've clearly
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: never seen her hunting condors. fucking grinning from ear to
• 59:17
  Speaker 5: ear Tom What else has Dolly done there?
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: A TV movie about her early life, Dolly Parton's Coat
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: of Many Colours. A little throwback to Ger there.
• 59:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, indeed.
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: Which came out in 2015, took its name from the
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: 1971 song of the same name, which told the story
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: of her humble upbringing. It doesn't hurt to have a
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: humble upbringing in these instances. She also provided the music
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: that was The Guiding Spirit, written in the actual title,
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: The Guiding Spirit, behind the movie Dumplin', which came out
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: in 2018. I think I attempted to watch Dumplin', did I?
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: I think I did. Anyway.
• 59:52
  Speaker 5: It's on my to-do list, yeah.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: Here's one for you. This is straight out the gate.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: Straight out the gate. No questions asked. This is stamp
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: it with the T-stamp. Dolly, a lifelong teetotaler, later portrayed
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: an angel. Portrayed an angel. Portrayed an angel. You know
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: what I mean? In Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: a 2020 Netflix movie.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: I have seen that, Tom.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: Have you?
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: I haven't.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it is straight up un-fucking-watchable.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: It did. The stills from the movie looked pretty... What
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: it reminded me of was, do you remember in Scrooge
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: when they were making the Dickens?
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: They were actually filming the Dickens.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 5: Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: That's what it looked like to me.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 5: You know what? I'm going to put it down to
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 5: Dolly not wanting to steal the thunder of Christmas.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: I skipped over quickly there a lifelong teetotaler. She actually
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: was never... She never touched a drop. She has alcoholism
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: on both sides of the family. So she's seen the
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: damage it can do. Alcohol is the number one killer,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: she claimed in her book she wrote.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: Now, I don't know.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: Maybe it is, I suppose, on a wide scale. Maybe
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: it's her own opinion. She wrote it in her 2020 book,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: Dolly Parton's song teller, My Life in Lyric. Gerard Temperance, hello. Yeah. Tick. Tick,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: tick and tick. Now we'll go back through them. We'll
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: tot up our virtues here and see if we can
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: find them. I have one more. Now this one, I'm sorry,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: but this one's pretty, this one's pretty cool.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 5: Pretty sainty.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: It's pretty sainty. Dolly's opinions always carry weight. So when
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: she did an interview for Billboard magazine last year, she
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: expressed her support for Black Lives Matter movements, saying, I
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: understand people having to make themselves known and felt and seen.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: So of course Black Lives Matter. Do you think our
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: little white asses are the only ones that matter? No.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, who could say it better? Who could say
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: it better than that? I mean, if that isn't justice
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: for all, I don't know what it is, Ger. I mean,
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: this woman is, just to put it like that.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 5: I mean, going back over them, Tom, we had prudence, justice, temperance, courage, faith,
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 5: hope and charity. I think you nailed them one by
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 5: one there, Tom. I noticed that you didn't mention the
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 5: movie Rhinestone.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: You know what? There's only so much ink we've got
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: here at TNG Towers. So, I mean, you know, some
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: things I had to skip over. Rhinestone was... I can
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: only barely remember. Fill me in.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 5: Rhinestone was an action comedy line dancing movie starring Sylvester
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 5: Stallone with his love interest Dolly Parton in the early 80s.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 5: So you're talking fully ripped and shredded Sylvester Stallone.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: Both of them.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 5: Ripped and shredded.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 5: On fluffy curly hair Dolly Parton. The movie was not
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 5: well received. So I reckon when we are totting this
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 5: up in the Vatican... Let's just keep that off the
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 5: IMDB page.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: Do you know what, though? The second you said those
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: two people, you were like Sylvester Stallone, the 80s, Dolly Parton.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I want to go in and watch that
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: right now. I swear to God, I don't give a shit.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: I watched that and Roadhouse one after another.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 5: Tom, I challenge you to watch the fucking trailer for
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 5: this thing.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, listen.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 5: Hey, you know what we're going to say, Tom? Who's
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 5: to say that Dolly Parton didn't do that piece of
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 5: shit movie Get a paycheck and go open a fucking
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 5: orphanage with it.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: This is the other side of it. It would seem
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: for the longest time she's been a married woman. The
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: day she moved to Nashville, she met her husband and
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: they got married within two years. The day she moved
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: to Nashville, they've never had kids. So I think she's
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: almost like a godmother to the world in a sense.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: Especially at the very least, the people of Tennessee. so
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: you know she's it would seem an awful lot of
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: her place what are you going to do with all
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: the cash after a certain point no you can amass
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: it and just keep going I'm stacking that money hat
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: where people love to talk about money she doesn't really
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: she likes to give it away now let's let's skip
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: through them so you know first one up Prudence she
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: seems to be yes like she seems to have a
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: bit of cop on I don't see there doesn't seem
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: to be many stories when you go rooting around of
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: her being a flesh a bit of a flesh Dan
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: you know and I think she's For sure, a prudent businesswoman.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: This woman.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 5: Shadow of a doubt.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's any question. She's... There'll be more, really,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: throughout the next level. I've probably smattered a few of
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: them in there. They would easily... If we're missing any
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: of the virtues here, they'll show up in the Miracles bit.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: For sure. I've put down a bunch of stuff in
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: the Miracles bit. Justice... You comfortable enough with her standing
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: up for the likes of the black.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 5: Way out of shadow of a doubt, yes.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: We're going to get.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: Into it more here as well.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: The black folk for which she built that offices and
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: also just straight up going... I mean, she'd have a
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: lot of conservative white southern people who would be big
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: followers of hers. You know, and she'd know exactly what
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: she's saying and that's a bloody good thing to say
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: and say it in her own language. You know, do
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: you think our little white asses are the only one
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: that matter?
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 4: No. Yeah.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: Love that.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 5: Also, just playing Devil's Avocado on this one, it's very
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 5: possible that country music under-indexes in the black community. So
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 5: Dolly's being fairly prudent, keeping her hand in both pots there.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 5: Of course.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: But I mean, what does it hurt? You know, what
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: does it hurt to bring.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying she's not doing it all out of
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 5: the goodness of her heart, but also prudence is high
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: here as well, I would say.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: Temperance, clearly covered. Never touched a drop.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 5: That's just me. I've got to bring a bit of
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 5: cynicism to the whole thing, Tom.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 2: I got it. Look, listen... Listen, Cardinal McBride, I understand.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: I understand you were the same way when you were
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: trying to get Oscar across the line. I understand. I
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: get you. Courage, I think, her whole, you know, coming
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: out of, walking away from even Wagner's show that time.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: Who knew she had something lined up, but at the
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: same time to walk away from a nice, cosy.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: Walking away from Wagner's job, Tom, walking away from a
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 5: cushy life with all the insects he could eat on
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 5: fucking locust ranch.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: LAUGHTER like 16, 17 years of age to literally the
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: night after her Debs, she threw off her corsage and
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: dress or whatever. And as she says to the chef,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: she goes, my matching luggage, I filled up my four
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: matching luggages, which are actually, you know, four grocery bags
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: that all came from the same shop, essentially. Which is
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: another great line that, you know, she's thrown out a
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: hundred times, but it works every single time. So there
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: she is, the four cardinal ones. I feel we've covered them.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: And as far as the theological ones, Gerard, Faith, Hope
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: and Charity come on.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 5: I don't think we yeah let's not insult the woman
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 5: by even questioning her Faith, Hope.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: And Charity I think you could literally write that you
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: know under a picture of her on your wall along
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: with you know Live, Love, Laugh or whatever that could
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: be your new one Faith, Hope and Charity written under
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: you know those lights we talked about before you were
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: saying how hard it was the little red lights that
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: you get the little red bulbs that you put in
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: front like the child of pride yeah So it's all looking,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: it's all looking good.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 5: It's dollies to lose here, Tom.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: It really is. So we're comfortable anyway. She definitely, she
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: is a servant of God, the God of country music.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: And I would imagine real God. And of course she's virtuous.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: She's got all the virtues required according to the TNG show.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: Now bring on the miracles. This is where we're into
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: number three. And if any of you are small, but
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: if you go, I don't know, does she hit all
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: the virtues? Have a fucking listen to this. I had
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: to bite my tongue and bite my fingers to not
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: type out everything of Erica this woman pulled off. But
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: these are just a couple. A couple of things.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 5: And I have a couple to add to it as well.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to hear more. Aside from her stage
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: and screen activities, partner's involved in a broad array of projects.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: Like in 1986, she opened the aforementioned Dollywood, a theme
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: park centered in the Appalachian traditions. In the Great Smoky Mountains,
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: of Eastern Tennessee. All in all, she has created jobs
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: for more than 4,000 people in Tennessee. That's not to mention, like,
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: all the roadies that go around the road, all the
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: people that get paid every time she plays an arena.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: That's just in Tennessee. She's got 4,000 paychecks to think about.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 5: Tom, it's around about here that I should tell you.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 5: I've been to Dollywood.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: No!
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: No!
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: No, oh, please tell me you're only messing. I do
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: not suffer jealousy. I do not suffer jealousy. I'm happy
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: with my life, Geraint. I really am. I've got a
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: nice life. But right now, I'm absolutely seething, frothing at
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: the fucking collar. Yeah. Are you serious?
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 5: You were indelible. Yeah, I mean, you remember last podcast
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 5: I mentioned that we picked up some moonshine in Gatlinburg
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 5: when we were on honeymoon? Well, what's beside Gatlinburg, buddy?
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 5: Fucking Pigeon Forge. which is where Dollywood is. My God.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 5: So the night after we got the moonshine, we went
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 5: over to Dollywood. And I got to tell you, it's
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 5: exactly as described here that she has created jobs for
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 5: all the local community and such like. Now, what I
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 5: will say is this. You know the way normally if
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 5: you go to a fun fair here and it's all
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 5: like 16 year old lads swirling the waltzers and shit
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 5: like this go on in Dollywood everybody is like in
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 5: their mid to late 70s I love it I fucking
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 5: love it and it's it's one of these things where
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 5: like um It's a little bit of a sad indictment
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 5: of America that people have to work that late. But
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 5: it's also really cute to see all these little old
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 5: people because they're not wearing, you know, high-vis vests or
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 5: things like this. They're all dressed up in sort of
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 5: pioneer clothes and sort of old-fashioned. The ladies are in
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 5: long plaid gingham skirts and shit like this. And the
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 5: gentlemen have got like little leather waistcoats and hats and
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 5: such like on. And everybody is just super fucking nice.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 5: Before I get into how nice everybody is in Dollywood,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 5: it has to be said that If you think Dollywood
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 5: is this quaint little Hall of Mirrors-style funfair where it's
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 5: like animatronic dollies just waving, Ha! Welcome to Dollywood! It's not, Tom.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 5: It is the most fucking knock-your-balls-in-the-ground theme park I have
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 5: ever been to in my life. It is fucking insane, okay?
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 5: It's got all these kind of Alton Towers upside-down rollercoaster rides.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 5: It is... batshit crazy all the rides i've ever been
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 5: on my life if i've been in disneyland or universal
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 5: studios or anywhere like that i've been lucky to be
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 5: to these places in my life dollywood beats them hands
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 5: down everything is fucking state-of-the-art terrifying the food is amazing
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 5: we were there in like october and some such so
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 5: everything was pumpkin spiced but like all the food and
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 5: pretzels and just carnival food like hot dogs and all
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 5: this kind of thing. But everything was absolutely delicious and
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 5: everything was just so smiley. Now you go on ahead
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 5: and enjoy that hot dog and I hope you have
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 5: a great rest of your day and all this kind
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 5: of thing. All these little old people. But they had
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 5: one ride. I was having the time of my life.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 5: They had one ride there, Tom, called the Wild Eagle.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 5: And it had only just opened and it was the only,
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 5: at the time, it was the only ride of its
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 5: type in America.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: Explained?
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 5: So there's a few elsewhere now. I see them cropping
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 5: up time and time again. But it was the kind
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 5: of thing where you'd sit, when you walked in and
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 5: you sat down at first, the ground lowered so that
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 5: your feet were dangling.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 5: But you were like, you know, it was like the
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 5: rail was in the middle and there was like four
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 5: people out one side and four people out one side.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 5: So if you can imagine like an eagle's wings.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 5: And you went up. It wasn't, I will say it
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 5: wasn't the highest thing I've ever been on in my life,
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 5: but the fall was the steepest.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 2: Vertical fall, was it?
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 5: It wasn't a vertical fall, but it was designed in
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 5: such a way that you experienced zero G on the
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 5: way down because the straps that strapped you in weren't tight.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: So as you went down like a rocket ship, you
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 5: rose off the seat. Like you literally rose off the
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 5: seat and you're literally weightless on it. And Tom, I'm
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 5: not going to kid you. As I went down, I
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 5: really felt, I was like, okay, this is picture wrap
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 5: on McBride. I'm fucked.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: You genuinely thought you were going to die in that moment?
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 5: I feel like I'm going to die. Okay, that is
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 5: the dream ride. I felt this is it. McBride's dying.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 5: To the point, like, I'll put it to you like this.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 5: As I went down so fast, I got like a
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 5: buzz at the end of me tool, right?
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: I get it. They say that happens. They say that happens. Yeah, but.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 5: And it wasn't like buzz. Oh, hey, this ride is
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 5: making me feel kind of sexy. I was like, oh,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 5: I know what that is. That's the muscle... that holds
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 5: my piss in at the end of my tool, loosening.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 5: This is how people piss themselves. Like, you know, something
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 5: happens and the little valve at the end of their
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: tools just sort of relaxes and lets go because it's like,
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 5: fuck this, I'm out of here. And you just, you
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: can't stop yourself from pissing. Your piss just pisses all out.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm about to piss myself in Dollywood. Now,
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 5: I pulled out of it when we hit the bottom
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 5: and we dipped back up. It was, everything all just
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 5: clamped back up. I was like, I am going to
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 5: piss myself right here, right now, in Dollywood on the
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 5: fucking Wild Eagle.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: Dolly Parton almost made you piss yourself. I mean, that
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: in itself, Gerard. I mean, and you thought you were
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: going to die as a result of Dolly Parton.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 5: Some might say, Tom, that thanks to Dolly Parton I
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 5: experienced an out-of-body experience.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 5: I got one more story. I got one more story
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 5: about Dollywood and it's about the Wild Eagle as well.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 5: The rest of the rides are all brilliant and I
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 5: got some honeymoon photos and I'm going to take them
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: and show them to you on the socials. So it's
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 5: in the morning, we get to Dollywood nice and early
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 5: at like eight o'clock and we have our breakfast in
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 5: there and it's this wonderful old sort of log cabin-y
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 5: kind of thing. But it's not like when you go
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 5: to other theme parks and it's like, oh, here's a
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 5: fiberglass log cabin. This really felt like it was an
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 5: actual log cabin.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, yeah.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 5: We just so happened to build a theme park around it.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 5: And this little old lady comes over and she serves
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 5: us and she's like, she looks like, she looks like
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: Granny from the Looney Tunes, you know what I mean?
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 5: And she moves like that and she's got the little
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 5: reading glasses at the end of her nose and everything.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 5: And she's like, oh, hey, okay, man. And where are
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 5: you all from? And we told her we were on
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 5: honeymoon and all this kind of thing. And they loved
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 5: the Wild Eagle because the Wild Eagle had only just opened.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 4: Okay? Yeah.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 5: So it was new and it was big and it
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 5: was certified fastest in America. And they were all so
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 5: proud of this thing. So she goes, well, have you
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 5: all rid the, you know, are you all going to
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 5: go on the Wild Eagle today? And we were like, yeah, absolutely.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 5: We intend to. We want to go on one of everything.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 5: She goes, oh, well, you make sure and go on
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 5: it because we're just so proud of that thing. And
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 5: we said, that's fine. And she goes, well, what time
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 5: are you going on? it and we goes you know
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 5: what we're just gonna like just gonna do our thing
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 5: and maybe go on it later in the day she
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 5: goes well now honey you want to make sure go
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 5: on it nice and early in the morning you'd want
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 5: to go looking to go on that ride between the
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 5: hours of one o'clock and three o'clock because it's shut
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 5: and we're like oh uh Like, you know, and I
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 5: was like, OK, it's like a maintenance thing that it
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 5: shuts from one to three. Thanks for the heads up,
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 5: by the way, because you'd hate to like, you know,
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 5: I have to leave at three o'clock on the wild
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 5: eagle shut.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 5: So I was like, the ride shuts for two hours.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 5: Why does the ride shut for two hours? And she
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 5: just laughed this lovely little Tennessee laugh like I was
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 5: a fucking idiot. She goes, oh, sugar. That's when the
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 5: bees come out.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: That's when the fucking bees, the bees.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 5: That's when the bees come out.
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 5: As you just said, it's so matter of fact that like,
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 5: you know, there's apparently in the in the in the
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 5: Smoky Mountains or what have you. There's like a high
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 5: bee population that comes out around about that time. And
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 5: the wild eagle track goes straight through a nature preserve
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 5: or some shit. So they close it between the hours
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 5: of one and three. Otherwise, you're going wild eagle straight
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 5: through a fucking cloud of bees, which would have absolutely
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 5: made me piss myself, Tom.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: I love that the bees have a time. Do you
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yeah. Only in Dollywood would bees
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: have one and three. Okay, we can do one. Okay, cool, cool, cool.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 5: Just like, oh, sugar. That's when the bees come out.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, man, I want to go to Dollywood.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 6: There you go.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 5: What else have you got? What else has Dolly done?
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 2: Obviously, she created up to 4,000 jobs and probably more
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: at this stage. But two years later, she created the
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 2: Dollywood Foundation, an organization with the aim of providing inspiration
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 2: and educational resources for children. I mean, who does that?
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, there's so much good in this woman. In 2016,
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: Dolly launched the My People Fund, which donated $ 1, 000 a
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: month for six months to families whose homes were destroyed
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: by the wildfires in East Tennessee. The fund eventually donated $ 8. 6
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: million to families in need and still operates to help
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: residents pay rent and utilities. Just cause, Ger. You don't
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: have to do any of this. You just cost. I mean, yeah, listen,
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: loads of people do the celebrity.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 5: Had nothing to be at, decided to do it.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: Loads of people do, you know, the, you know, text
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: fucking Dolly 102 because I'm going to be, you know,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: on the fucking chase this week. You know, hopefully raise
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: 10 grand. Like this woman's, literally, there's a grand a
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: month to help you get over the hump. You won't
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: die of hunger when you got a grand a month
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 2: for six months just to help you get out. And
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 2: she gave out 8.6 million during that time. And it's
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: still going on. just to pay rent and utilities to
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 2: people who are struggling. Jesus!
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 5: Tom, you haven't even mentioned the Dolly Parton Imagination Library.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 2: No, no, listen, this is the thing. There's so many.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: Please explain the Imagination Library.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 5: The Dolly Parton Imagination Library is a foundation set up
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 5: by Dolly Parton that will deliver one book every month
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 5: to a child, no questions asked, until that child is
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 5: 18 years of age. And to date, she has given
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 5: away 130 million books.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 2: 130 million. 130 million. That's 65 times the population of Ireland. Yeah. No, no, no,
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: I'm wrong. It's closer to like 30, is it? Anyway.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 5: She needs to send you a fucking maths book, Tom.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 5: Here's what it is, right?
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 2: It's late at night. We'll get it.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 5: We'll get it busy at Matt's for Tom over here.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 5: The one with the B on the cover.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: The fucking B.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 5: 130 million books. Rich or poor. Young or old. If
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 5: you're a child in America and you would like Dolly
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 5: to send you a book, you give her your name
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 5: and address and boom. There you go.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 2: Genuinely, people are going, yeah, yeah, but should people do that? Who?
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: Who the fuck does that?
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 5: Who does it?
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 2: Nobody does it. Nobody does that shit.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 5: Fucking saints do that shit, Tom.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: And we're not even finished yet. We're not even finished
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 2: yet for us to pass judgment on the overall, but
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: it ain't looking bad, you know what I mean? In
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 2: April 2020, as the coronavirus began to spread worldwide, the
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 2: icon donated just okay, let's get this going, a million
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 2: dollars to the diseases research in Vanderbilt University, which is
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 2: a wealthy university already, which helped fund the Moderna, now
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: it was directly for the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine. Like she
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: just went, there's a million quid. Million quid, there you go.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 2: Go on. Get it. Come on. If we need to
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 2: speed things up, buy some lunches for the fucking staff.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: Whatever we got to do. Here we go. There's a
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: million quid. Just get out of town. Again, who does that?
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 5: Tom, the Vanderbilt industries, they've already got a lot of money.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 5: They've got all that truck money coming in as well,
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 5: you know?
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 5: I'm assuming it's the same people that do the Vanderbilt
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 5: trucks as do the Moderna vaccines.
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: It sounds like one of those wealthy New York families,
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: doesn't it? You know, like the.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 5: I've got to tell you, by the time that rolled around,
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 5: and we'll talk about this now in a little second,
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 5: because you've got fucking more to go on. But when
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 5: I heard last year, in the middle of the pandemic,
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 5: that the vaccine had been sponsored and by and large
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 5: paid for by Dolly Parton. Yeah. I didn't even question that.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: That's the thing. I thought, oh, yeah, literally. Now, if
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: they said, you know, Jeff Bezos had done it, you go, cool, cool, cool.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 2: Good on you. Or, I don't know, somebody supremely wealthy, like,
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: you know, 50 cents or something, you've got class. Well, wow,
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 2: that's amazing. But when I heard, same as that, when
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 2: I heard Dolly did it, I went, yeah. And without
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: even knowing all these facts, I just went, yeah, that fits.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 5: It's something she'd do.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 2: That's a thing that Dolly would do. Now, since then,
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: when I looked at that and I looked at it
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 2: again since writing this up, she gave way more than
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: a million dollars. Way more than a million dollars. You
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? but also what she probably did
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 2: was when you weigh in you know heavyweight champion of
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: the world that she is when it comes to country
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 2: music and all the rest like she's the queen of
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 2: it there's no question there when you weigh in you
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: know the likes of all of a sudden Tim McGraw
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: has to dig out the fucking book Toby Keith has
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: to dig out the book Willie old Willie Nelson has
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: to dig out the checkbook they've all got to oh
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: for the well if Dolly doesn't we all got to
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 2: throw our hat in the ring here like we have
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 2: to you know it like literally you gotta throw you
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 2: gotta come on Yeah. Because you're not going, hey, cut
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 2: on you. You know, like she's some, you know, spunky
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: young kid in the industry. If she looks over her
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 2: shoulder and you're not fucking rowing in behind her, imagine
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: the look Dolly would give you. Get the fucking checkbook
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 2: out this instant. You would too, like.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 5: I'm going to buy you this breakfast, but you just
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 5: have to throw in money for the tip.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: Do you have any more on her there before I
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 2: finish up with this?
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I've got one.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 2: I've got one.
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 5: If you want to talk miracles, Tom, please. Not for nothing.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 5: Dolly Parton wrote Jolene and I Will Always Love You
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 5: on the same day.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 4: What?
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: She wrote them on the same... I knew she was handy.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: Two home runs off the first pitch. I know I'm
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 2: doing a lot of American sports here, but look. Home run!
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 2: Like drove it over the back wall. Twice. People wouldn't
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 2: write one song that good in their lifetime. She wrote
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 2: two in the one... Are you joking me?
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 4: Nope.
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 5: When I asked about it, she was just like, well,
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 5: I guess I had a pretty good day that day.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 5: You fucking think?
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 5: That's pretty miraculous right there.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: That's ironclad.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 5: That's ironclad.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 2: Jesus. Where was your head at? What kind of supplements
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 2: does this woman take?
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 5: It's not even that. She wrote the two of them
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 5: by her own admission. Not even a day, Tom. On
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 5: a Sunday afternoon.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: When typically, you know what we're doing. Dying. or chasing
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: children around, our children around the place, typically going, Christ,
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: will this day ever end? She's just sitting back, kicking back, going,
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 2: you know what? I'm not working today, but while I'm
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 2: not working, I may as well do a bit of work.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 2: And I'll write two of the greatest songs ever fucking written. Well,
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 2: if anybody was kind of going, yeah, you know what?
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 2: A lot of those are virtuous and all the rest.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 2: Did you really pull off any miracles?
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 5: Well, how about this?
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: Last but not least, Dolly actually saved the life of
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: a child actress on the set of the aforementioned Christmas
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 2: on the Square. Now, Jerry will or don't, not a
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 2: great movie, but look at it. A bunch of people
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: got work.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 5: Out of it.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 2: That's all I'm thinking as an actor myself. A lot
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 2: of people got a lot of work and well paid,
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 2: I guarantee you. Netflix made it for Dolly Parton. Che
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 2: fucking ching. Yep, she straight up saved the kid. Talia Hill,
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 2: a nine-year-old actress and dancer cast in Parton's film, revealed
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 2: that the Jolene Singer saved her from ending up in
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: what could have been a fatal accident Talia was stepping
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 2: off a pavement to head back to first positions first
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 2: positions being the start of the whole scene head back
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 2: to first positions she was stepping off the pavement not
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 2: looking when a vehicle damn near ran her down and
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: ripping by only for the angelic dolly grabbing her by
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 2: the arm and reefing her back onto the road 70
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 2: odd years of age reefed this child back onto the
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 2: road straight past Could have killed the child. Saved by
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: a woman dressed in an angel outfit. I mean, what
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 2: more have I got to do here, Joe?
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 5: I mean, she wasn't dressed in an angel outfit, Tom.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 5: Those were just the clothes she wore to set.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: Well, if those are her actual clothes, that to me
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 2: is what an angel looks like. I'm sorry.
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 5: Tom, I got one more miracle that I've seen Dolly
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 5: Parton perform. Yes, yes. With my own eyes.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 5: Because I have actually seen Dolly Parton perform in The Point.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 5: a couple of years back.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: Good God.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she was live on The Point a couple of
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 5: years back, 2018, 2017, thereabouts. You couldn't miss it. Great
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 5: show altogether, okay?
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 2: I was gigging that night. Sold out. I remember it.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: I was actually gigging it.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 5: You remember?
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I was gigging. She would have appreciated that, but
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: I would have loved to seen it, but I was
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 2: gigging that night.
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 5: There you go. I mean, there was two things. Number one,
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 5: she had like a troupe of backup singers, like six people,
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 5: backup singers. And we were wondering who's going to come
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 5: on and sing islands in the stream with her. And
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 5: she got like the male guy from the backup singers
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 5: to come out and sing islands in the stream with her.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 5: But he was the fucking living spit of Kenny Rogers.
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 2: No way.
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 5: Literally the living.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 5: The gray hair, the beat and all that. That's not
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 5: the miracle.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 5: The miracle is this. I've never seen anything quite like
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 5: it in my life. And she couldn't have known this
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 5: was taking place. Four or five rows in front of
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 5: me and my wife was this woman who was off
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 5: her fucking face. And she'd been a pain in the whole, whole.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 5: It was a sit down concert. And, you know, it's
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 5: a Dolly Parton concert. So it's like a quite an
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 5: older audience and, you know, a few younger people or whatever.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 5: But this lady was like mid 30s off her fucking face.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 4: OK.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 5: And there was an intermission. And when we came back
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 5: from intermission, she was definitely off her face. So we
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 5: reckon she fucking dropped a few things in the in
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 5: the toilets or what have you. Like this wasn't drunk.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 5: This was off her face.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 5: Everybody sitting down in the whole of the fucking three
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 5: arena except this key bag sitting up yelling and roaring
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 5: and having a good time Tom lovely sorry I did
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 5: the accent wrong there that's fine go on let's hear
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 5: it yelling.
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 3: And roaring having a good time right like she was
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 3: it's like oh my god and everybody was telling her
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 3: excuse me like you know would you mind sitting down
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 3: because those people there with their mams in their fucking
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 3: 70s and she's like oh hello it's a concert I'm
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 3: going to dance if I want to dance And we're like, bitch,
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 3: you are fucking dancing to Code of Many Colors.
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 5: All right?
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 2: Sit the fuck down.
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 5: This went on easily for 10 minutes. I'm getting hot, okay?
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 5: Because Dolly's in like a slow part of the concert.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 5: She's playing her older stuff. She's playing Code of Many Colors.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 5: She tears in everybody's eyes, right? And this key bag
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 5: is like gyrating and doing fucking all this kind of dancing, okay?
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 5: And the bouncers had been called and they came to
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 5: her and they told her to sit down two or
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 5: three times and she hadn't sat down. So this woman's
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 5: getting fucked out, okay? But Here's the thing I've learned
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 5: from this experience is that bouncers won't just grab a
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 5: woman and get them out. They had to wait around
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 5: for a female bouncer to come over and grab her
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 5: and take her out. Okay? So that ended up another song, okay?
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 5: And Dolly's out there singing her heart out and everybody
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 5: in the circumference of this woman is just so fucking
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 5: pissed off and sick at this. Like, you know, we're
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 5: not missing the concert but you're drawing all the attention
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 5: to yourself which is probably your fucking MO to begin with.
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 1: Alright?
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 5: The female bouncer comes along grabs her firmly around the
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 5: waist and leads her out into the aisle and your
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 5: mom's there like I was only dancing it's a concert
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 5: it's only dancing and they were like you know and
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 5: they were like good riddance the bad rubbish go on
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 5: get out the fuck you're spoiling on everyone and they
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 5: took her to the um exits that takes you back
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 5: out into the concourse and the minute her head disappeared
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 5: from view then then then tumbled out of bed and tumbled.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 6: In the kitchen and And Dolly goes, I want to
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 6: see everybody on their feet and dancing. Everybody gets their
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 6: feet and they start dancing the nine to five and
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 6: she plays five straight songs of nothing but bangers.
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 5: Everybody's up swinging sway and having a good time. It
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 5: was like she felt miraculously the anger that we had
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 5: towards this woman and waited after she had danced through
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 5: Code of Many Colors, after she danced through I Will
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 5: Always Love You, waited until that woman was out of
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 5: sight before kicking into the bangers, thus robbing that woman
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 5: of a chance of songs to dance and giving all
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 5: of us a fucking spectacular story to tell.
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 2: What a story. Oh my. Hey, you know, look, okay,
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 2: I'm not comparing us being a, you know, we've done
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 2: decent sized gigs, but you know it yourself. You can
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 2: spot one lump of poison in the middle of a
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 2: big crowd. You can spot it and you can feel
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 2: the vibe of people around it. You'd be guaranteed, okay,
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 2: they had their set list and their song list and
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 2: all the rest of it. But I guarantee you, Dolly,
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 2: She turned the juice on when she fucking got. fucked
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 2: out the door you know it listen she's done enough
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 2: gigs now to even sense it without looking there's a dose.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 5: No idea how this happened Tom but but it was
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 5: just so well timed and the only way that it
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 5: could have worked as good as it worked was Divine Intervention.
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 2: Need we say any more?
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 5: That topped getting rid of the snakes as the number
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 5: one miracle performed in this country.
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 2: Let's move on into the fourth bit. The canonization. There's
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 2: a discussion, there's a roundtable discussion after. Everything is being
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 2: put forward by all the congregation of the boys from
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 2: the back of the ons. That amazing group basically put
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 2: everything forward across to the Pope himself. But before we
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 2: pass judgment, we have to point out that, of course,
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 2: Dolly is thankfully still with us. And yes, we know
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 2: it typically takes five years now after someone has popped
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 2: off this mortal coil to become a saint and all
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 2: the rest will be in the running. But it's our
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 2: show and we're making the rules. Thank you very much.
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 5: And not a very old woman either.
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, she's 75. She's 75 right now. So like,
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: you know, we know plenty of people 75. Listen, to
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 2: achieve one, and I mean this, 100 of her success,
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 2: 100 of her achievements, when you hear I'm going to
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: rack some of this up because look we're not going
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 2: to be swayed by our past awards and nods that
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 2: they do have you know to be mentioned because it's
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 2: sweet Jesus there aren't enough mantelpieces in the fucking world
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 2: to store this lot but we're not going to be
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 2: swayed by it but we want you to understand when
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 2: I say 100th of this woman's career would see anybody
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 2: list any artist you know write for the rest of
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 2: their life part is contributions to the art culture of
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 2: the United States, earned her numerous awards from organizations beyond
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 2: the music and film industry, like not just artsy-fartsy, it's jolly,
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 2: actual real people awards. Like, just shy of Nobel. She
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 2: was named Living Legend by the Library of Congress in 2004. Like,
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ. That's not just, hey, Vulcan, the goat, Gio, like,
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 2: this is by the Library of Congress. These people don't
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: mess around. You know what I mean, Ger? For her.
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 2: enrichment of the American cultural heritage. I mean, you've been
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 2: to Dollywood. You already said it was, you know, it
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 2: had the Appalachian traditions going on there with pumpkin spice
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 2: and all the rest and little old ones going around
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 2: with the glasses on the end of their nose. You
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 2: think of the cultural minister we have here in Ireland
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 2: and what they've done for, you know, think about the contributions.
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 2: In 2005, she received the US government's National Medal of Arts.
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 2: And in 2006, she was recognized at the Kennedy Center
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 2: for the performing arts in Washington, D.C. for her lifetime
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 2: artistic achievement. She was inducted into the Country Music Hall
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 2: of Fame in 99. She's had 25 songs. I'm hearing
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 2: a lot of places that aren't the Vatican there, Tom.
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 2: I know we're not going to be swayed by this,
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 2: but I just want the listeners to know who we're
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 2: dealing with here. When you say, don't fuck with Dolly,
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 2: this is what we're talking about.
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 5: Don't fuck with Dolly.
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 2: There is nobody I mean Nobody comes Within an ass's
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 2: roar I don't even care If you're not a Dolly
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: fan Or a country fan There's nobody Gets within an
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 2: ass's roar Of this And still doing it At the
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 2: integrity She's still doing it at She has had 25
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 2: songs Reach number one 25 songs Reach number one In
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 2: the Billboard Country music charts 44 career Top 10 country
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 2: albums A record for any artist By the way And
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 2: she's had 110 Career charted singles Over the past 40
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 2: years All in. She's made. Hold on to your pants everybody.
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 2: Now I'm not making these numbers up. We're just rounding
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 2: them up. She's made it into.
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 5: 17.
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 2: Serious Hall of Fames. 189. Award wins. With 382 nominations.
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 2: And she has composed.
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 4: Over. Over.
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 2: 5000. Songs throughout her career. Now you said it That
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 2: she wrote Jolene and Fuck And I Was Always Love
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 2: You On a Sunday afternoon When Chris Christopherson Was coming
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 2: down Do you know what I mean She's writing songs
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 2: Just Like DJ Khaled Thinks he's hot shit You know
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 2: what I mean Timbaland thinks they're hot shit Another one
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 2: How about 5 fucking thousand Come back to me When
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 2: you have 5 thousand songs Throughout your career Now that.
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 5: I hear That she's written 5 thousand songs I'm wondering
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 5: Oh you've written Jolene And I Will Always Love You
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 5: On the one day Was it a slow day we
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 5: only work on half a day love.
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 2: But I mean so many of these include like songs
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 2: for you know genres that we will probably never come
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 2: across you know like Christian and all the rest and
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 2: as well as that literally hundreds upon hundreds of songs
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 2: for other like she she's doing the work of a
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 2: person who has no time to be singing or a
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 2: personality do you know what I mean like 5,000 songs
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 2: and some of the things we mentioned Jesus Christ there's
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 2: another 50 things we could have mentioned that she's done
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 2: or is involved in oh yeah like But despite a
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 2: hugely successful career spanning five decades and amassing an estimated
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 2: fortune of $ 650 million, and all her achievements and charity
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 2: work listed throughout today's show, it would seem the prevailing
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 2: factor in people's love for the 75-year-old singer-songwriter, actress, entrepreneur
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 2: and philanthropist is that she is still the funny, warm,
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 2: self-deprecating Tennessee mountain girl with her coat of many colours
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 2: that started out all those years ago on Locust Ridge.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 2: And my question to you, Cardinal McBride, is this. Does
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 2: Dolly Rebecca Barton become a saint today on the Tom
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 2: and Jerry show?
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 5: Well, let's pull it at Tom, okay?
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 5: And again, we're not carrying any bitterness into this based
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 5: on people who are already saints where we're like, well,
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 5: fuck it, if they got in, then Dolly's definitely getting it.
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 2: No, this is completely independent.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 5: In my mind, Tom, in the rules of sainthood that
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 5: were written, you know, when St. Peter had his first church,
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 5: I would say that by today's interpretation of those rules,
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 5: if there are Vatican amendments, like there are amendments in law,
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 5: then by any standards, Dolly meets up with things. Even
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 5: things that we mentioned in passing back up the way,
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 5: miracles such as bilocation, where the person is able to
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 5: appear in two places at once. I mean, Dolly played
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 5: the pyramid stage at Glastonbury with two massive screens either
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 5: side of her. I mean, like, you know, are you
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 5: telling me St. Peter wouldn't have seen that and thought
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 5: to himself, holy fuck?
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 2: Well, that's exactly it. I mean, their interpretation of what
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 2: a miracle would have been He absolutely, he literally could
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 2: have seen her there, Googled her on his phone and
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 2: watched her on YouTube on her phone. Been in tri-location.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 5: How's that?
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 5: How's that, Peter?
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 2: How's that?
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 5: Go get fucking, go get braids in your hair.
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 2: But not to get overly flippant with the whole thing,
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 2: because in all fairness, I don't think we have to.
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 2: Ranking it off to today, because as we said, like
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 2: the servant of God and all the rest, with this,
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 2: we were suggesting that God in this instance is country music.
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 2: We don't have to go straight back to God and
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 2: all the rest of it to make her a Roman
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 2: Catholic saint. Let's put it through the guys that the
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 2: religion being the CMA, Country Music Association, and to take
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 2: religion completely out of it.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 5: I will absolutely do that, Tom, in one second, but
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 5: I want you to know something, buddy. You've got to
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 5: believe me when I say this, that I didn't sit
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 5: through a two-hour podcast just for the opportunity to make
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 5: a cheap plastic surgery joke. But....
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 2: You haven't done it yet. So I'm going to go on.
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 5: So don't think I was just waiting here to say this,
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 5: but I can't fucking leave this podcast without saying it.
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 5: When it comes to miracles, one of the ones that
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 5: we mentioned was incorruptibility. I knew it.
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 2: I knew it. I was going to draw a line
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 2: under it and I have it written down on this.
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 2: I said, I guarantee you, McBride won't be able to
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 2: bite his tongue. I drove over it quickly too.
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 5: I knew you were the body of a person who
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 5: is already buried. Does not decay. And I got to
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 5: tell you, Dolly, I love you. And that was money
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 5: well spent, as you said yourself. But I have a
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 5: funny feeling that you could dig Dolly up in a
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 5: couple of years and she'd be still looking pretty good.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 5: That's all I'm going to say on that one.
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 2: You couldn't resist it, could you? You couldn't resist it.
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I couldn't. I wouldn't have lived with myself.
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, I totally get it. In fairness, it wasn't a
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 2: cheap shot. Dolly herself is such a funny, self-deprecating person
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 2: who will point, who, as Jerry said, You can't heckle.
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 2: You can't heckle Dolly. Can't heckle Dolly Parton? She's pulled
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 2: the pins on all our grenades.
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 5: As far as I'm concerned, Tom, and I think you're
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 5: going to be with me on this one. I think
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 5: Dolly Parton, by any metric, is a shoo-in for the sainthood.
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 2: I absolutely 110 agree. Halfway through this episode, I was going, yeah.
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 2: And like you said at the beginning, you could put
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 2: this with three lines into this podcast. After my prayer
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 2: to Dolly, you literally could have just handed that to
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 2: somebody and they go, yeah, read no more. happy out.
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 2: Stick a fork in it. She is a saint. That's it.
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 2: We've come through the whole thing. And yeah, I'm 100%
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 2: in agreement.
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 5: And our listeners are welcome to say no if they
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 5: want to get blocked off our Twitter.
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 2: Hey, we're a diplomatic podcast here.
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 5: We are a diplomatic podcast.
• 1:38:05
  Speaker 2: But if you've gotten this far, I highly doubt that
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 2: you're not on board with us at this stage. I
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 2: think it's with great honour that Cardinal O'Mahony and Cardinal
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 2: McBride can sign off in the Book of Sainthood won
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 2: Dolly Rebecca Parton. The patron saint of being an absolute
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 2: fucking legend. I don't know what, we haven't decided on
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 2: what patronage to link her up with yet.
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 5: She could be the patron saint of so many things.
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 5: She could be the patron saint of country music. Tom,
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 5: she could be the patron saint of the working man.
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 5: I mean, what is 9 to 5 if not a
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 5: hymn for the working man? And I gotta tell you
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 5: one thing that the fucking Catholic Church loves. You read
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 5: anything to do with the Bible, they fucking love people
• 1:38:45
  Speaker 5: who work.
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, she could be the patron saint from badass
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 2: rollercoaster rides in all fairness I mean she patron saint
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 2: of keeping the elderly employed.
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 5: McBride pissed himself yeah like.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 2: That let's leave it open to the book anybody who
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 2: wants to put some suggestions out there for what you
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 2: think Dolly will actually become this patron saint of but
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 2: for now we're both in agreement that Dolly Parton is
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 2: most definitely a saint I knew I was going to
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 2: enjoy the hell out of this podcast here this episode
• 1:39:11
  Speaker 2: I was excited all day and for good reason I
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 2: had a fucking great time I had a great time.
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 5: I had such a good time with this podcast, Tom,
• 1:39:18
  Speaker 5: that I would consider making podcasting a full-time job. What
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 5: are the hours like?
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 2: Typically, it's nine to five.
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 5: We hope everybody has enjoyed the beatification of Dolly Parton
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 5: episode of the Tom and Jerry podcast. And we still
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 5: have a few more surprises up our sleeves before we
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 5: wrap up Season 6. If you'd like to stay in
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 5: touch with us, you can follow us on our social
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 5: media channels. At TomAndJerryShow will get us on Instagram or Twitter.
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 5: Or if you prefer TomAndJerrySolo, you'll get me at JerryMcBride,
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 5: Tom at Tom underscore O'Mahony. Hey, stick TomAndJerry into your
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 5: search engine. And if somebody looks like you think we sound,
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 5: that's probably us.
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 2: All that being said, if you are already following us,
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 2: or you've just jumped on board because you're a Smoky
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 2: Mountain resident or a Locust Ridge resident, or you've just
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 2: jumped on board because you are a fan of the
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 2: great Dolly Parton, hit subscribe. Have a look. There's a
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 2: rake of other episodes of our interest that we've deep
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 2: dove through. We've got a couple more lined up, but
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 2: we've got five previous seasons to this as well. Go back,
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 2: have a gander, find out who we are. hit subscribe
• 1:40:28
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• 1:40:30
  Speaker 2: even all the way over on YouTube, if that's your bag.
• 1:40:32
  Speaker 2: But typically people are listening on a podcast app. If
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 2: it is an app that you're allowed to leave a
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 2: rating and a review on, please do. I think it's
• 1:40:39
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• 1:40:42
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• 1:40:44
  Speaker 2: Write us a nice little note. Some people have been
• 1:40:46
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• 1:40:50
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• 1:40:52
  Speaker 2: on your socials, tag us in it, or just roll
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 2: it up, put in a nice little napkin. slide it
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 2: across the desk to Nenna.
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 5: And sure, who knows?
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 2: She might even become a fan of the Tom and
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 2: Jerry show.
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 5: Like Tom says, get in touch with us, especially if
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 5: you've been enjoying season six. I personally want to know
• 1:41:08
  Speaker 5: what the Venn diagram of people who like Fred Dibna...
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 5: Something tells me the Venn diagram of people that like
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 5: Fred and Dolly is a fucking circle.
• 1:41:18
  Speaker 2: I wonder, was Fred a fan of Dolly? I bet
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 2: he was. Will you indulge me for a moment as
• 1:41:24
  Speaker 2: we sign off?
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I gotta hear it. I know what it is
• 1:41:29
  Speaker 5: before you even say it. I gotta know it.
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 2: Stumble out of bed and I....
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 2: Folks, we are gonna keep.
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 5: We're going to keep top-notch content like that coming on
• 1:41:55
  Speaker 5: the socials. We're going to throw you up the trailer
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 5: for Rhinestone. We're going to throw you a few bits
• 1:41:59
  Speaker 5: and pieces there. Not for nothing, Tom, we've got bonus
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 5: episodes coming. Forget about these big episodes. We've got bonus
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 5: episodes coming. Keep an ear out on Thursday for another
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 5: fresh bonus episode. My worst gig ever. Another guest joins
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 5: us to tell us about their worst gig ever. It's
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 5: good fun.
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 2: All the family. Well, you know, the cool ones anyway. Ger,
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 2: let's head to Smoky Mountain.
• 1:42:19
  Speaker 5: Let's go see what we can do about those locusts.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 2: Good luck.