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08 - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll · Thrilling Adventures - Daily

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  Speaker 1: Chapter eight, The Queen's croquet ground. A large rose tree
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  Speaker 1: stood near the entrance of the garden. The roses growing
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  Speaker 1: on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it,
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  Speaker 1: busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing,
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  Speaker 1: and she went nearer to watch them, And just as
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  Speaker 1: she came up to them, she heard one of them say,
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  Speaker 1: look out, now, Five, don't go splashing paint all over
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  Speaker 1: me like that. I couldn't help it, said five, in
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  Speaker 1: a sulky tone. Seven jogged my elbow, on which seven
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  Speaker 1: looked up and said, that's right. Five. Always lay the
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  Speaker 1: blame on others. You'd better not talk, said five. I
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  Speaker 1: heard the queen say only yesterday, you deserve to be beheaded? What?
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  Speaker 1: Four said the one who had spoken first. That's none
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  Speaker 1: of your business, too, said seven. Yes, it is his business,
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  Speaker 1: said five, and I'll tell him it was for bringing
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  Speaker 1: the cook tulip brutes instead of onions. Seven flung down
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  Speaker 1: his brush and had just begun well of all the
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  Speaker 1: unjust things, when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice
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  Speaker 1: as she stood watching them, and he checked himself. Suddenly
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  Speaker 1: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low,
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  Speaker 1: would you tell me, said Alice a little timidly. Why
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  Speaker 1: are you painting those roses? Five? And seven said nothing,
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  Speaker 1: but looked at two. Two began in a low voice.
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  Speaker 1: Why the fact is, you see, miss, this here ought
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  Speaker 1: to have been a red rose tree, and we put
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  Speaker 1: a white one in by mistake. And if the Queen
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  Speaker 1: was to find out, we should all have our heads
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  Speaker 1: cut off, you know. So you see, miss, we're doing
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  Speaker 1: our best before she comes to. At this moment, five,
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  Speaker 1: who'd been anxiously looking across the garden, called out the queen.
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  Speaker 1: The queen and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat
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  Speaker 1: upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps,
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  Speaker 1: and Alice looked round, eager to see the queen. First
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  Speaker 1: came ten soldiers carrying clubs. They were all shaped like
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  Speaker 1: the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and
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  Speaker 1: feet at the corners. Next the ten courtiers. These were
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  Speaker 1: ornamented all over with diamonds and walked two and two
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  Speaker 1: as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children.
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  Speaker 1: There were ten of them, and the little deers came
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  Speaker 1: jumping merrily along hand in hand in couples. They were
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  Speaker 1: all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly kings
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  Speaker 1: and queens, and among them Alice recognized the white rabbit.
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  Speaker 1: It was talking in a hurried, nervous manner, smiling at
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  Speaker 1: everything that was said, and went by without noticing her.
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  Speaker 1: Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown
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  Speaker 1: on a crimson velvet cushion. And last of all this
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  Speaker 1: grand procession came the King and Queen of Hearts. Alice
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  Speaker 1: was rather doubtful whether she ought not lie down on
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  Speaker 1: her face like the three gardeners, but she could not
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  Speaker 1: remember ever having heard of such a rule of processions.
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  Speaker 1: And besides, what would be the use of a procession,
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  Speaker 1: thought she if people all had to lie down upon
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  Speaker 1: their faces so they couldn't see it. So she stood
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  Speaker 1: still where she was and waited. When the procession came
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  Speaker 1: opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her,
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  Speaker 1: and the Queen said severely, who is this? She said
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  Speaker 1: it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and
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  Speaker 1: smiled in reply. Idiot, said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently,
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  Speaker 1: and turning to Alice, she went on, what's your name? Child?
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  Speaker 1: My name is Alice, So please, your majesty, said Alice
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  Speaker 1: very politely, but she added to herself, why they're only
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  Speaker 1: a pack of cards, after all, I needn't be afraid
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  Speaker 1: of them. And who are these? Said the queen, pointing
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  Speaker 1: to the three gardeners who were lying round the rose tree.
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  Speaker 1: For you see, as they were all lying on their faces,
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  Speaker 1: and the pattern on their backs was the same as
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  Speaker 1: the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
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  Speaker 1: they were her gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three
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  Speaker 1: of her own children. How should I know, said Alice,
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  Speaker 1: surprised at her own courage. It's no business of mine.
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  Speaker 1: The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at
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  Speaker 1: her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed off
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  Speaker 1: with her head off. Nonsense, said Alice, very loudly and decidedly,
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  Speaker 1: and the queen was silent. The King laid his hand
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  Speaker 1: upon her arm and timidly said, consider, my dear, she
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  Speaker 1: is only a child. The queen turned angrily away from
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  Speaker 1: him and said to the knave, turn them over. The
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  Speaker 1: knave did so very carefully with one foot. Get up,
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  Speaker 1: said the queen in a shrill, loud voice, and the
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  Speaker 1: three gardeners instantly jumped up and began bowing to the King,
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  Speaker 1: the Queen, the royal children and everybody else. Leave off that,
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  Speaker 1: screamed the Queen. You make me giddy, and then turning
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  Speaker 1: to the rose tree, she went on, what have you
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  Speaker 1: been doing here? May it please your majesty? Said two
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  Speaker 1: in a very humble tone, going down on one knee
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  Speaker 1: as he spoke. We were trying, I see, said the Queen,
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  Speaker 1: who had meanwhile been examining the roses, off with their heads,
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  Speaker 1: and the procession moved on. Three of the souls remaining
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  Speaker 1: behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners who ran to Alice
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  Speaker 1: for protection. You shan't be beheaded, said Alice, and she
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  Speaker 1: put them into a large flower pot that stood near
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  Speaker 1: the three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two
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  Speaker 1: looking for them, and then quietly marched off. After the
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  Speaker 1: others are their heads off, shouted the Queen. Their heads
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  Speaker 1: are gone, If it please your majesty, The soldiers shouted
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  Speaker 1: in reply. That's right, shouted the Queen. Can you play croquet?
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  Speaker 1: The soldiers were silent and looked at Alice as the
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  Speaker 1: question was evidently meant for her. Yes, shouted Alice, come on,
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  Speaker 1: then roared the queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering
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  Speaker 1: very much what would happen next. It's a very fine day,
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  Speaker 1: said a timid voice at her side. She was walking
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  Speaker 1: by the white rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.
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  Speaker 1: Very said Alice, where's the duchess? Sh sh said the
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  Speaker 1: rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over
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  Speaker 1: his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe,
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  Speaker 1: put his mouth close to her ear and whispered, she's
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  Speaker 1: under sentence of execution. What for, said Alice? Did you say?
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  Speaker 1: What a pity? The rabbit asked, No, I didn't, said Alice.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think it's at all a pity. I said,
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  Speaker 1: what for? She boxed the Queen's ears. The rabbit began.
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  Speaker 1: Alice gave a little scream of laughter. Oh hush, the
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  Speaker 1: rabbit whispered, in a frightened tone. The queen will hear you.
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  Speaker 1: You see, she came rather late, and the queen said,
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  Speaker 1: get to your places, shouted the queen in a voice
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  Speaker 1: of thunder, and people began running about in all directions,
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  Speaker 1: tumbling up against each other. However, they got settled down
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  Speaker 1: in a minute or two and the game began. Alice
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  Speaker 1: thought she had never seen such a curious croquet ground
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  Speaker 1: in her life. It was all bridges and furrows, The
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  Speaker 1: balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the
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  Speaker 1: soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on
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  Speaker 1: their hands and feet to make the arches. The chief
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  Speaker 1: difficulty Alice found at first was in manage her flamingo.
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  Speaker 1: She succeeded in getting its body tucked away comfortably enough
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  Speaker 1: under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally,
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  Speaker 1: just as she got its neck nicely straightened out and
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  Speaker 1: was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head,
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  Speaker 1: it would twist itself round and look up in her
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  Speaker 1: face with such a puzzled expression that she could not
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  Speaker 1: help bursting out laughing. And when she got its head
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  Speaker 1: down and she was going to begin again, it was
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  Speaker 1: very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself
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  Speaker 1: and was in the act of crawling away. Besides all this,
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  Speaker 1: there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way
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  Speaker 1: wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, And as
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  Speaker 1: the doubled up soldiers were always getting up and walking
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  Speaker 1: off to other parts of the ground. Alice soon came
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  Speaker 1: to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game. Indeed,
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  Speaker 1: the players all played at once without waiting for turns,
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  Speaker 1: quarreling all the while and fighting for the hedgehogs. And
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  Speaker 1: in a very short time the Queen was in a
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  Speaker 1: furious fashion and went stamping about and shouting off with
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  Speaker 1: his head off with her head about once in a minute.
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  Speaker 1: Alice began to feel very uneasy. To be sure, she
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  Speaker 1: had not as yet had any dispute with the queen,
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  Speaker 1: but she knew that it might happen any minute, and
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  Speaker 1: then thought she what would become of me? They're dreadfully
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  Speaker 1: fond of be heading people here. The great wonder is
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  Speaker 1: that there's anyone left alive. She was looking about for
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  Speaker 1: some way of escape and wondering whether she could get
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  Speaker 1: away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance
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  Speaker 1: in the air. It puzzled her very much at first,
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  Speaker 1: but after watching it a minute or two, she made
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  Speaker 1: it out to be a grin, and she said to herself,
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  Speaker 1: it's the chesher cat. Now I shall have somebody to
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  Speaker 1: talk to. How are you getting on? Said the cat
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  Speaker 1: as soon as there was mouth enough for it to
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  Speaker 1: speak with. Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded.
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  Speaker 1: It's no use speaking to it, she thought, till its
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  Speaker 1: years have come, or at least one of them. In
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  Speaker 1: another minute, the whole head appeared, and then Alice put
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  Speaker 1: down her flamingo and began an account of the game,
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  Speaker 1: feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her.
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  Speaker 1: The cat seemed to think that there was enough of
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  Speaker 1: it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think they play at all fair, Alice began,
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  Speaker 1: in rather a complaining tone. And they all quarrel so dreadfully.
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  Speaker 1: One can't hear one's self speak. And they don't seem
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  Speaker 1: to have any rules in particular, at least if there are,
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  Speaker 1: nobody attends to them. And you've no idea how confusing
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  Speaker 1: it is all the things being alive. For instance, there's
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  Speaker 1: the arch I've got to go through next, walking about
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  Speaker 1: at the other end of the ground, And I should
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  Speaker 1: have crockaded the queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran
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  Speaker 1: away when it saw mine coming. How do you like
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  Speaker 1: the queen, said the cat in a low voice. Not
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  Speaker 1: at all, said Alice. She's so extremely just then she
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  Speaker 1: noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening, so
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  Speaker 1: she went on, likely to win, that it's hardly worth
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  Speaker 1: while finishing the game. The queen smiled and passed on.
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  Speaker 1: Who are you talking to? Said the king, going up
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  Speaker 1: to Alice and looking at the cat's head with great curiosity.
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  Speaker 1: It's a friend of mine, a cheshia cat, said Alice.
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  Speaker 1: Allow me to introduce it. I don't like the look
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  Speaker 1: of it at all, said the king. However, it may
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  Speaker 1: kiss my hand if it likes, and rather not. The
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  Speaker 1: cat remarked. Don't be impertinent, said the king, and don't
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  Speaker 1: look at me like that. He got behind Alice as
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  Speaker 1: he spoke. A cat may look at a king, said Alice.
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  Speaker 1: I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where. Well,
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  Speaker 1: it must be removed, said the king, very decidedly, and
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  Speaker 1: he called the queen, who was passing at the moment,
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  Speaker 1: my dear, I wish you would have this cat removed.
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  Speaker 1: The queen had only one way of settling all difficulties,
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  Speaker 1: great or small. Off with his head, she said, without
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  Speaker 1: even looking round. I'll fetch the executioner myself, said the
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  Speaker 1: king eagerly, and he hurried off. Alice thought she might
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  Speaker 1: as well go back and see how the game was
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  Speaker 1: going on, as she heard the queen's voice in the distance,
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  Speaker 1: screaming with passion. She'd already heard her sentence three of
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  Speaker 1: the players to be executed for having missed their turns,
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  Speaker 1: and she did not like the look of things at all,
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  Speaker 1: as the game was in such confusion that she never
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  Speaker 1: knew whether it was her turn or not, so she
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  Speaker 1: went in search of her hedgehog. The hedgehog was engaged
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  Speaker 1: in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice
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  Speaker 1: an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other.
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  Speaker 1: The only difficulty was that her flamingo was gone across
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  Speaker 1: to the other side of the garden, where Alice could
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  Speaker 1: see it trying in a helpless sort of way to
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  Speaker 1: fly up into a tree. By the time she had
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  Speaker 1: caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was
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  Speaker 1: over and both the hedgehogs were out of sight. But
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter much, thought Alice, as all the arches
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  Speaker 1: are gone from this side of the ground, so she
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  Speaker 1: tucked it away under her arm that it might not
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  Speaker 1: escape again and went back for a little more conversation
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  Speaker 1: with her friend. When she got back to the Cheshire Cat,
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  Speaker 1: she was surprised to find quite a large crowd collected
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  Speaker 1: around it. There was a dispute going on between the executioner,
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  Speaker 1: the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once,
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  Speaker 1: while all the rest were quite silent and looked very uncomfortable.
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  Speaker 1: The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all
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  Speaker 1: three to settle the question, and they repeated their arguments
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  Speaker 1: to her, though as they all spoke at once, she
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  Speaker 1: found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what
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  Speaker 1: they said. The executioner's argument was you couldn't cut off
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  Speaker 1: a head unless there was a body to cut it
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  Speaker 1: off from, that he had never had to do such
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  Speaker 1: a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at
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  Speaker 1: his time of life. The King's argument was that anything
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  Speaker 1: that had a head could be beheaded, and that you
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  Speaker 1: weren't to talk nonsense. The Queen's argument was that if
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  Speaker 1: something wasn't done about it in less than no time,
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  Speaker 1: she'd had everybody executed all around. It was this last
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  Speaker 1: remark that had made the whole party look so grave
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  Speaker 1: and anxious, Alice could think of nothing else to say.
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  Speaker 1: But it belongs to the duchess. You'd better ask her
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  Speaker 1: about it. She's in prison, the queen said to the executioner,
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  Speaker 1: fetch her here, and the executioner went off like an arrow.
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  Speaker 1: The cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone,
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  Speaker 1: and by the time he had come back with the duchess,
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  Speaker 1: it had entirely disappeared. So the King and the executioner
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  Speaker 1: ran wildly up and down looking for it, while the
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  Speaker 1: rest of the party went back to the game. End
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  Speaker 1: of chapter eight