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Why you shouldn't confront a narcissist directly · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why you should not
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  confront a narcissist directly, how it can be dangerous, how it
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  can be pointless, how it ask yourself why you need to do it
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  in the first place. Right?
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  Let's just get to the nitty gritty, get to the brass tacks
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  of it, right? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Let's get it. Boom.
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  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yeah, yeah, this one.
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  Hey, we got to ask ourselves this question right here.
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  Y'all, we have to get to the bottom of this.
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  Like why you should not confront a narcissist directly.
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  I look, look, let me go and say this right now, because I know a
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  lot of y'all out there. I know so many of y'all out
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  there. You have to get the last word
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  in, right? You just feel like you have to
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  let them know that you know what they have going on.
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  You have to let them know that you understand what they've been
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  doing this entire time. You have to let them know.
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  You have to, you have to, but you don't, you know what I mean?
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  You, you really, really don't. And I feel like that's the type
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  of thing that a lot of people face and we get into these
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  situations, the type of kind of darkness that so many people
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  fall into where you just like, I have to let them know that I
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  know y'all, You really do not have to let them know.
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  You know, one of the main reasons I tell, I say this
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  because you want to protect your peace because a lot of times, if
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  you have evidence or proof that a narcissist has been lying to
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  you, that they've been stealing from you, that they've been
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  doing whatever behind your back, cheating on you, whatever it is
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  you want it, you want to just let them know that you know,
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  right? But if even with proof they're
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  it y'all, they could get dangerous.
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  They could sit out. They could go ahead and try to
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  send you on up out of here, Lee. What does that mean?
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  They could try to send you to meet God.
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  Lee. What does that mean?
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  Like speak English like you're talking in like what are you
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  talking about? They could bury you 6 feet
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  under. No, like in an in an unmarked
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  grave. You see what I'm saying?
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  They could send you on a bottle here, but the threat of you
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  exposing them because they can't imagine the fear that they have,
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  right? I'm just scared as hell that
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  you're going to ruin my life. I'm scared as hell.
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  Like you don't need to confront them directly because it could
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  cost you your life, right? And I'm not trying to scare you.
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  I know your people just like Lee.
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  You damn Lee, normally you bring levity to the situation.
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  This is this is doom and gloom. Damn, what happened to Lee?
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  Nothing happened. I'm just being real with you,
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  right? It's like when you get into
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  these situations, you fall into these scenarios where you're
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  dealing with the manipulator, where you're dealing with an
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  abusive person, right? You got to understand that two
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  narcissists, one of the most important things to them is
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  their reputation, right? We want to protect our
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  reputation at all costs. We want to protect it literally
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  at all costs. In these situations, we want to
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  guard ourselves. So if you confront us directly
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  with proof that you have power, you have control, that you can
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  ruin our reputation, Yeah, you might get the worst version of
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  this person. You might get the worst version
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  of this toxic, manipulative, abusive ass bastard, right.
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  You might get the worst version of them.
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  And I'm not saying you deserve it.
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  Oh, hell no, I'm not. This is not me trying to say you
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  deserve. Hell no.
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  That's don't take my words on the context.
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  That's for me to do right? You don't deserve that.
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  And this is not what I'm saying, but like a lot of manipulative,
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  abusive, narcissistic people want to try to convince you that
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  you deserve everything that is coming to you.
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  The bad the bad stuff for confronting them though a lot of
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  times you don't want to confront them directly because it's not
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  necessary. Y'all I know you want to let
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  just let just let them know. Why can't you let them know
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  after you done dipped on them? Why can't you let them know
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  after you got your ducks in a row?
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  Because I'm telling you hey, I quit you cheating on me.
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  I'm leaving y'all see how many and I'll just, huh.
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  This is one of my pet peeves. Y'all and y'all might not like
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  me after I say this, but there's so many family annihilates out
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  here, annihilators out here that will absolutely take your life
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  and then take their own lives, right?
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  They'll take you out, take your kids out and then take
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  themselves out because they're, they can't stand the fact that
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  you don't want to be with them anymore.
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  They're weak ass bastards. They want to take, they want to
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  end the life of everybody around them because they punk asses
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  can't handle rejection. They can't handle being
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  accountable, being held accountable for their actions.
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  So they try to hold everybody else accountable instead of
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  themselves. Fuck them, right?
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  You don't take your your your family out of here, the little
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  innocent babies and children out of here and your wife or your
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  husband out of here because you got caught up doing some shit
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  that you shouldn't have been doing.
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  Fuck that. You see what I'm saying?
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  That get that, that that's one of my serious, serious pet
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  peeves right there. Like Lee, what triggers you that
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  that right there? There's so many weak bastards
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  out there that were killed that would do this type of stuff
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  right to their families and then do it to themselves like that.
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  Oh my goodness, boy, I know I have.
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  There are people with mental health issues out here, but they
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  still don't make no issues to take your family out of here.
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  When I go go seek help. If those, those thoughts are
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  crossing your mind because you're about to get divorced or
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  whatever, go seek help. Go get some help, like get the
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  hell out of here. Don't take everybody else out of
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  here. Oh my goodness, sorry.
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  I, I get passionate about that right there because there's so
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  many kids that don't get a chance to grow up because their,
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  their, their mother or their father or whoever stepdad
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  stepmom don't want to see them living because they, they,
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  because they can't handle rejection or being exposed or
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  being confronted with what they, what they have actually done.
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  The stuff they've actually done, not stuff that you've made-up,
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  stuff that they have actually done that you haven't made this
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  up. You haven't created this facade
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  out of nowhere. They've actually done it right
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  and it blows my, blows my mind. Y'all, Oh, sorry, y'all.
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  I just, this is one of the things that really does set me
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  off. But yeah, you want to be careful
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  confronting them directly. And I know some people want to
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  get the last word in. You want to let them know that,
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  you know, you want to expose them to them.
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  You, like, you might not even intend on exposing them to the
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  world, but you might want to divorce them.
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  You might want to leave them. And that's the part that they
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  can't handle, the part that they can't stand to deal with right
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  there. Because you might actually want
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  to leave them after they've done something horrible to you,
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  right? They I can't imagine this,
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  right? So just be careful when you want
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  to just try to hold them accountable.
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  You want to expose them. Just be careful because I'm
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  telling you they will try to take you.
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  Some of them will absolutely try to take you on up out of here
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  because of how things are going, because of how the world and
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  whatnot, right? Just be safe.
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  That's all I can say. Y'all is just be safe.
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  But I also say this is another reason why you don't want to
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  confront them directly is because you don't really need
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  to, right? You don't really need a
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  confession from a narcissistic person, right?
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  Once you have the necessary information, once you have the
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  proof, you don't need a confession.
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  I know you want one. You don't need one.
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  There's a different difference between a want and a need,
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  right? Yeah, we all know the needs.
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  Food. You need food, water and some
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  type of shelter, right? You don't need a confession.
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  I don't see that on a three needs, right?
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  Food, water, confession for my narcissistic ex or my
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  narcissistic husband or wife, my mom, my dad, whoever the
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  narcissistic person in your life is, right?
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  Oh, people, that's not what are the needs.
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  You don't need one. Act on it.
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  What does acting on it look like for you?
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  Put a plan in order. I just like to say everybody
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  doesn't leave when you get the information anyway.
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  So especially if you don't plan on leaving, why you need to
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  confess, You know, I want them to stop doing it.
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  I want them to change their behaviors again.
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  Y'all look at like Chris Watts, go look at the the, the family
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  annihilator Chris Watts, right? His wife didn't even know about
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  the affair situation or maybe she did.
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  I had to look into it but she didn't even know like he knew
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  and then he took her own up out of here and his two daughters
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  and you got weird ass women out here writing this man in jail
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  fangirling over in the out. Something's just wrong with
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  y'all. Like seriously this man unalives
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  his wife and his two baby girls and y'all writing this crazy ass
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  bastard in jail Come on now. Like some of the shit is just.
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  It just blows my mind how fucked up the world is.
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  Y'all like seriously? Like let me write this family
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  annihilator and tell them confess my love to this person.
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  Lee, you triggered today. Yes.
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  I told you I was like, this is not y'all discovering it.
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  This is me telling y'all what sets me off.
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  You know what I mean? Yeah, just like, and this blows
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  my mind right here to like, you don't need a confession from
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  them. You don't need them confess.
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  You don't need to let them know that you know so many people.
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  Yes, I do, Lee. No, you don't because it could
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  be dangerous and it's not a necessity.
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  You you know it. Now you can confront like, Zeke.
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  Well, Lee, how do we confront them at all?
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  I said directly right, You don't have to confront them directly
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  to their faces because you don't know how they're going to act
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  like sometimes you this is a you.
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  Let's say you let me say I'm a narcissist.
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  Let's say I'm a I'm an empathetic man, right?
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  My wife has been having an affair, getting her, getting her
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  back beat in or cheating on me, getting them cheeks clapped by
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  somebody else. I find out, right?
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  I confront her directly to her face.
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  You think she would be like well you deserve it.
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  No she going to start crying to be manipulative and just causing
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  the scene. Maybe pretending that I tried to
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  hurt her or something like that. Pretending I tried to attack her
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  because I found out what was going on.
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  Making me look like the abuser. They can make you look like the
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  abuser in the situation because now they're getting hysterical
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  because they got caught cheating.
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  They got caught cheating, They got caught being toxic as hell,
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  and now they're being hysterical about it.
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  Right now. They're being hysterical.
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  Now they're losing their mind. Now they're doing this.
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  Now they're doing that. Yeah.
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  You see how this goes right here?
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  Like this is insane. It's insane.
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  It's an insane mindset right here.
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  Like I said, because they will try to hold.
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  They will try to make you at fault for what they have, what
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  they have actually done, they've actually done.
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  It is not made-up, is not concocted, it's not fake.
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  It's something that they have actually done and they're being
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  held accountable for and they can't handle it right.
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  They can't have you can't handle the truth.
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  They can't handle it. So they lose their ever loving
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  minds and then you confront them directly.
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  They try to start beating themselves up or just trying to
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  harm you or hit you or whatever trying to paint the image of
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  you. Like another reason you don't
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  want to confront them directly is because y'all, if you
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  confront them and you don't have a plan of action in place, you
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  give them a head start on what they do next, right?
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  You give them, let's just say you're a stay at home parent.
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  You confront your partner directly about cheating.
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  You haven't made a plan because what happens?
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  They freeze the bank accounts, they cut off your access to any
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  type of money or finances. They start hiding assets.
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  They start selling stuff. Now you don't have at least you
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  know what I'm saying. You know you don't say you want
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  to make a plan of action 1st and not always about danger.
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  You know it could be about danger.
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  You want to protect yourself and be safe, but you want to be, you
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  want to protect your assets and your, you know, your livelihood
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  as well, not just your life, your livelihood as well, right?
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  You know, be able to protect your livelihood, right?
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  But next right next to your life as well.
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  You want to be as safe as humanly possible.
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  You want to protect yourself at all costs because they're not
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  going to protect you. You something.
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  You want to protect yourself at all costs because they're not
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  going to protect you at all costs.
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  They don't care. Why would they protect you?
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  Why would they do anything for you, right?
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  Why would they do anything? Why would they try to take?
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  Why would they try to help? You ought to be there for you.
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  If doesn't benefit them, if it doesn't make sense to them, if
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  it doesn't benefit them directly, then they're not.
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  They're just not going to do it right.
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  So it just need any spaces right there.
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  You don't want to confront them directly directly sometimes
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  because you don't want to give them a head start of what to do
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  next. You don't want to just be like,
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  OK, I know what I know about the about that your other woman.
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  I know about your other man. I know about this.
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  I know that you hit. I know what you did last summer.
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  You see what I'm saying now they now they panic, they start, do
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  they start behaving erratically? They could start love bombing
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  you. Of course, right?
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  That is not they could start love bombing you and
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  manipulating you and promising to change or blah, blah blah,
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  promising to cut their affair partner all promised to do, you
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  know, put the money back in the account.
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  Like it doesn't always have to be cheating.
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  It could be gambling. You could catch them gambling.
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  They got a gambling addiction or shopping addiction and they
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  $50,000 in debt, $70,000 in debt.
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  I just saw a video by Ray William Johnson the other day.
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  This woman like this man confronted his wife about her
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  debt and he took her life and she took his life.
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  She took his life and went on a run and try to, she went on the
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  run and and unaligned somebody in Florida and then she
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  underlined somebody else to try to try to underlie somebody in
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  Texas. Like she's trying to steal
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  people's identity that kind of looked like her.
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  So she was going to become these people that looked like her
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  after she unallied their husband because she got ashamed of her
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  gambling debt and whatnot and whatever.
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  So it doesn't always have to be cheated.
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  It could be gambling like he unlocked, she unlocked him like
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  Pew Pew, just straight to the Dome and when I was crazy.
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  She's doing a life sentence right now because she deserves
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  it. But this is like, this is what
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  I'm just saying, like you have to protect yourself at all
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  costs. Like because they're not going
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  to protect you. Most of the times they don't
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  want to be discovered. They're like, how did you find
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  out? They'll start hammering away at
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  you about how you found out what their misdoings are.
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  They're what they're whatever they're doing behind the scenes,
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  they'll hammer you, hammer away at you trying to figure out how
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  you found out in the first place, right?
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  This is the type of stuff that happens.
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  They'll try to figure it out, try to hammer away at you, try
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  to be abusive towards you, try to be manipulative towards you,
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  just be horrible human beings overall.
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  And you don't want to necessarily have to keep dealing
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  with these horrible ass, toxic ass bastards.
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  So you have to protect your peace and your mental health and
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  your physical health. All the, all the healths, all
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  the healths, you got to protect them at all costs.
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  Seriously, and that's why I do these videos y'all to see y'all
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  can you know, so you can wake up and keep everything moving and
• 13:50
  just be be as impactful and powerful as you possibly can.
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  You mean you want to keep doing this type of stuff because at
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  the end of the day, it helps benefit you at all costs and
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  whatnot, right? So, and that's what happens to
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  so many people in these spaces in these situations and whatnot
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  as well. What the hell is this?
• 14:09
  Sorry, I got had a notification come through huh and whatnot.
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  So merchant super address Norway.
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  OK yeah so something just popped up on my screen.
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  Y'all sorry I just got I got distracted anyway, y'all hope
• 14:26
  y'all have a beautiful day. Hope this video butchers and
• 14:28
  clarity hope it butchers and peace.
• 14:30
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• 14:35
  the channel if at all possible. I appreciate all the
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  subscriptions we eat. We're inching like I think
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  inching we're just crawling towards 500,000.
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• 14:45
  to break the channel up here pretty soon, just to bring some
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  interest and some some some vibes to the channel.
• 14:51
  You know, just the more different vibes to the channel
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  as well. My I'm gonna put the podcast for
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  my I got like 30 people who want to be interviewed for the
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  podcast so far. So I'll go through those today
• 15:00
  as well. Be safe, take care of yourselves
• 15:02
  and as always y'all but to this is out.
• 15:04
  Peace what's going on beautiful folks.
• 15:06
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video I truly
• 15:08
  appreciate it. You have no idea.
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  another video or two. I appreciate it.
• 15:29
  I'm out.