Latest / Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist / S3E2 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Why Play Therapy Works

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S3E2 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Why Play Therapy Works · Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

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  You're listening to the
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  Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
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  Hi,
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  I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
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  The Kid Counselor.
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  This is the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast where I give you insight,
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  awareness,
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  and enlightenment about your parenting
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  and your relationship with your kids.
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  In today's episode,
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  we are continuing with
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  the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series,
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  and we kind of did a little intro teaser and the concept of adulthood bias last time.
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  Today,
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  we're diving into why does child-centered play therapy work?
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  And let's start with the common question that gets asked on a very frequent basis.
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  So the kid just plays,
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  how can this actually help?
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  We hear that all the time.
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  And even parents that have started the play therapy process often say,
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  so if they can just play and work through stuff,
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  why can't they just do that in their bedroom?
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  Or
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  how is just playing going to help if you
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  don't actually ever talk to them about anything?
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  So this is a very common concern and question that comes up.
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  And
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  The simplest response is
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  it works because play is the most natural way that children process their world.
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  So they're not going to talk,
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  they're not going to think,
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  they're not going to reason.
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  That's adulthood bias,
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  yes.
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  And so,
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  their most natural way of processing the world is through play.
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  But they need therapeutic guide rails.
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  And that's where the play therapist comes in.
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  So,
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  yes,
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  play is their natural way of making sense of things.
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  Play is their natural way
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  of sorting things out
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  in their lives,
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  in their world,
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  and their experiences,
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  but it's not enough
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  to just try to navigate that on their own.
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  They need specific circumstances for it to be therapeutically helpful.
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  Play is always helpful for children.
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  But the therapeutic component comes in when you have the guide rails.
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  And as we talked about last time,
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  kids do not process like adults do.
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  They don't talk,
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  they do not analyze things,
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  they do not reason,
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  they do not think.
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  They experience things.
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  They feel things
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  and then they express them through actions.
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  And we understand this,
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  they don't have abstract reasoning.
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  Their brains are not wired
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  for long conversations.
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  They don't have an emotional vocabulary to process their feelings.
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  They
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  can't reason
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  through a scenario,
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  so they work it out in their play.
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  This makes sense.
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  And so when we think about the way that
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  kids are naturally wired to work through things.
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  Play is the way that they're going to do it,
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  and it creates safety for expression.
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  So when kids are playing.
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  They are free to show
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  their fears.
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  Their struggles
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  Their concerns,
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  their frustrations,
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  their anxieties,
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  their confusion.
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  On and on and on we go.
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  They feel free to show that stuff
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  without being judged.
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  Because playing something out
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  is different
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  than living it out.
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  So it's a free from judgment scenario in their play.
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  So let me throw out an example.
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  A child might stomp
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  on dinosaurs
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  again and again and again and again.
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  Stop for
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  10, 15 minutes
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  on the dinosaurs.
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  And it seems
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  strange and random.
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  It's neither.
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  It's a safe way
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  to show big feelings.
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  And that freedom is why CCPT works,
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  because kids are having a channel.
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  They're having an outlet.
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  They can get stuff out.
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  Instead of,
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  because if they don't have the playful outlet for this,
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  they either
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  bottle it up.
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  Which is maladaptive and unhealthy.
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  They
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  Can't express it because they don't have an emotional vocabulary.
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  But they will build one in CCPT.
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  They
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  don't know any other way to express it,
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  so they express it in maladaptive ways.
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  Or
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  they lack self-control,
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  so they can't rein themselves in.
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  So when kids come in and stomp on dinosaurs again and again and again.
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  They are
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  working through things
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  in the grand scheme of things.
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  They have a healthy channel,
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  they're learning an emotional vocabulary,
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  they're learning how to express themselves
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  differently and in more self-enhancing ways,
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  and they're developing self-control.
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  And all of that happens through playing
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  and in this case,
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  stomping on dinosaurs.
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  And looking through a two-way mirror as a parent staring into the playroom
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  and you see your child stomp on dinosaurs for 15 minutes,
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  adulthood bias kicks in
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  and you're like,
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  what is the point of this?
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  They're not talking about anything,
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  they're not processing anything,
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  the child's not learning anything.
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  They're just stomping on dinosaurs.
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  What is this doing for this child?
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  It's doing everything.
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  Because we know what's going on underneath.
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  And here's the beauty of it all.
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  Change happens when kids feel understood and accepted.
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  This is proven.
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  We know this statistically,
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  we have data-driven examples of this.
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  When kids know they are unconditionally accepted
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  and understood.
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  Growth naturally follows.
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  They naturally become better versions of themselves.
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  It comes back to relationship.
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  How many times have we talked about that ad nauseam,
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  I know,
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  but why?
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  Because it matters that much.
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  And through that relationship,
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  through the unconditional understanding and acceptance,
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  they build confidence.
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  They learn to handle their feelings,
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  they discover more effective ways to cope.
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  They build resilience,
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  they build problem solving skills.
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  But the precursors are the environment and the relationship,
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  and CCPT gives kids the safe environment to do that,
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  and it gives the safe relationship to do that.
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  And it's hard emotional work.
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  Y'all,
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  I don't think I can stress that enough.
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  We think,
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  oh,
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  it's play therapy,
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  so it's,
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  it's fun,
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  it's easy,
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  it's playing,
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  how hard can it be?
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  It's so hard.
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  It is so hard.
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  It is hard,
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  tough.
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  Emotional work that requires so much strength,
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  so much bravery,
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  so much courage,
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  so much investment,
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  it is hard emotional work and they can't do it anywhere else.
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  They can't do it anywhere else.
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  They do not have any other relationships in which they can do it,
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  and they don't have any other environments in which they can do it.
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  It's a CCPT playroom with a CCPT therapist,
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  that's it.
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  So it works because of the conditions,
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  the environment,
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  and the relationship.
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  They're huge.
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  And so here's my encouragement,
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  a takeaway if you will.
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  Play therapy looks simple.
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  And it looks easy.
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  Playing seems fun.
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  Playing seems trivial.
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  I've talked over and over again.
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  I,
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  I coach,
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  for those of you that may not know,
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  I coach therapists all over the world
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  in this model,
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  and I say to them almost weekly.
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  Play therapy
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  seems so easy.
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  child-centered play therapy
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  on the surface,
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  it's like,
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  oh,
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  that's,
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  you just play with a kid.
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  How hard can it be?
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  It is so
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  difficult.
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  And it is,
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  it,
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  there's so much depth there.
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  There's so much going on for the child,
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  for the therapist in the relationship,
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  in the room.
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  It's so complex.
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  And it looks simple,
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  but it is deeply effective.
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  Above all else,
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  I could say that it's 100 things,
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  but above all else it's effective.
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  Because it matches how kids naturally grow,
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  how kids naturally communicate,
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  how kids naturally process,
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  how they naturally heal,
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  how do they do all those things
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  through a relationship,
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  through an environment,
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  so read
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  with a play therapist in a playroom
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  through their experiences.
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  Through their feelings
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  And through the expression thereof.
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  That's how it works.
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  And it's naughty,
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  there's nothing easy about it.
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  Because kids
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  only need really one thing.
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  We,
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  we know that.
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  In the grand scheme,
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  kids really need one thing.
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  An adult that has an irrational love and like for them.
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  The freedom to fully be themselves.
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  While they sort through their stuff.
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  With unconditional acceptance,
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  in a safe relationship,
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  in a special environment.
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  That's why CCPT works,
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  because you have this coming together
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  of ideal circumstances.
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  That allow a child
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  to heal.
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  And be fully themselves and express everything they need to.
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  Inappropriate conditions.
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  That's the beauty of it.
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  It's in its complexity and it's simplicity.
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  That's the beauty of it.
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  So that is why CCPT works.
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  That is why whether your child is in therapy or not,
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  these principles work.
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  When you parent this way.
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  It works
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  because it honors where the child is,
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  it respects where the child is,
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  it values the child.
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  And it
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  is hinged on relationship.
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  There's so much beauty in that.
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  So I hope that that gives you a little more understanding of the process.
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  We're going to in the next episode,
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  talk about
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  how it works
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  because now we understand the why.
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  Now we have to look at how it works,
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  so we're gonna deep dive that
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  and I am really,
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  really excited about this series.
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  I hope that you all are too.
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  This is
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  everything that
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  we talk about from the
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  therapeutic side
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  packaged into something for you all so that you
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  all have a different understanding of what we deeply understand
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  when we facilitate
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  therapy
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  with kids.
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  So,
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  really looking forward to this.
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  I appreciate y'all,
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  love you.
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  Talk again soon,
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  bye.
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  Thank you for listening to
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  the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
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  For more episodes and just subscribe to our newsletter,
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  please go to www.playtherapyparenting.com.