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From Fixed To Growth: How Leaders Unlock Potential · The Leader Mentality

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens and Nick DiStefano.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, Nick's back with us, guys, and we've had some good guests on the show lately, but this is a very interesting topic.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: We actually debated on this one off air for a while, and Nick had to school me on something that we talk about in leadership.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you have a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And apparently Nick is a specialist and expert on this because I was sitting here, I was talking, I'm like, hey, maybe fixed mindset could be a good thing.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Turns out it's not.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a good thing.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: But we don't want that.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Not by the definition.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want to set the stage today for if you are an owner of a business, if you are a manager of a business, if you are the coach of a team, if you are the leader of your choir at church, whatever you are, you can have um probably some level of different mindsets.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset, we're gonna talk all about that today.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about how a growth mindset can help just propel you and your team forward.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And how a fixed mindset can really limit what you guys can do.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna jump all into that.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: How's that sound?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready to explore all the limits and explore the ways that we are not having just that fixed mindset, but the mindset of growth and opportunity and potential, which is what leadership's all about.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and and while we're doing this today, we have some fun stuff going on.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: We are in the new Carolina Bay studio, so we are gonna be doing a little bit of that.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Where we got the Modern Homes podcast popping up behind us.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So a little plug out to some of our partners and friends and things, but but let's uh let's talk a little bit about this.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you would uh give us a quick overview of what the difference between fixed and growth is, and then we're gonna dive all into it.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: So when we talk about a growth versus a fixed mindset, it's the idea that if your mindset is fixed, you believe you cannot learn something.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: It is fixed, it is set, it is solid.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like it's black and white.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's I either know this or I don't know it, and I don't have the ability to know this, or I don't have the ability to learn this.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's maybe the idea that you know, I I I think about it often as a kid.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: I th I always just thought I'm just not good at art.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I'm not a good artist.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: But if I were to have a growth mindset, I would have thought as a kid, which is you know not something that every 10-year-old is thinking about, but but as leaders, we can, if we have a growth mindset, it's the idea that I can learn this thing.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: There's room for growth, there's the opportunity to learn something.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, as my seven-year-old would tell me, I can't hit a home run yet.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yep.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Throwing the yet on there.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's possible because you have a mindset that I I can learn, I can practice, I can change, I can grow, I can right?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: I I mean learn.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like the words yet versus ever make a big difference here.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I can't hit a home run ever versus I can't hit a home run yet.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that in a summary is the difference between the fixed versus the growth, right?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um why would I mean why does anybody have a fixed mindset?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: How does it happen to people?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I think there's a lot of reasons why we have that.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Some of it is the experiences that we have with other people.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Some of the people that work in our businesses and our our children and our family members and our friends, they are impacted by the people that are around them.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um they're impacted by the words of others, they're impacted by their experiences.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: So when I consistently fail at something and I don't recognize and reflect and talk about or have someone say, Hey, like you can do this, you just didn't do it this time.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: But if someone says to me, Yeah, maybe you're not a good artist, I'm gonna slowly learn that I I and believe, right?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's the things that we believe about ourselves, right?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's what our mindset is.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's everything that's going on inside our brain.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: If I consistently hear from other people that I'm not good at something, well then I'm gonna think, well, you know what, I'm not good at public speaking.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't mean you can't be.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and I think this is a problem.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's the dialogue in our heads that make this happen.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and that dialogue is created from a number of things.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's maybe your natural predisposition, um, it's what the people around you are talking about, which is why it's so important to get a great group around you.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Look at your circle.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think that it these things that we do to ourselves, it it's like practicing anything else.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you practice, I'm not good at this, I'm not good at this, I'm not good at this, your brain will eventually size up.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're not good at this.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna just close that pathway.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so why do that?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and but it's amazing to me because so many people do.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but it's I think it's also too, it's a lot of the society and the culture that we live in, and a lot of the right, we we believe success is about like what we achieve, but sometimes success can just be what we learned in the moment.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: It can be what we you know experienced and what are the things we felt in that moment, and it might have been failure, but if you don't take time and reflect on it, so if you're not journaling or talking to someone about it or processing it and you're internalizing all the negative, which is you know part of life and leadership.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, when I have a bad experience with an employee, if I just internalize and I'm like, oh god, I'm just not a good manager.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I have no pulse on my people.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it doesn't mean that you really do, but you probably internalize it if you're not actually reflecting on it and asking myself, what did I learn from this?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're right, like what what was the point of that?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what what how and how can I make either more of that happen if it was good or less of that happen if it was bad?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, one of the things that I feel like is I like to use this as an example.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes you have to give yourself an ample time to fully figure out where you stand on the pecking order.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And and I will say this, you know, I I feel like that pretend you're going to a restaurant that you love.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: You go there uh uh 50 times, and on the 51st time you get some bad service or a bad steak or whatever, you we don't naturally go, oh well, this place stinks now.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: We would say, no, it's it's usually great.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I just had a bad experience and you keep moving on.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: But if it was the first time you went to that restaurant and that was all your experience was, you could go, well, this place is terrible.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: The truth of the matter is that it may not be terrible.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: You have to find out over a period of time.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I believe part of this growth mindset has to be experience it, you know, learn learn about it.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't make assumptions right off the bat that something's good or bad, but but work through it.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and part of that is we often label the things that are we experience around us, right?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: I see something happen and I tell myself this is a bad event or a bad experience.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: But it right, the idea is it it is what it is, but it's it's how I feel about it.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: At the end of the day, you know, my father was an accountant and he used to say, like, you know, numbers never lie to you.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say, well, two plus two, he'd say it's always four.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: He'd say it is what it is.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, is that good or bad?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, It depends on if it's your bank account, right?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right, right.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: But it's the reality that like I get to choose what I feel about something and how I respond to it.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: So when we fail, do we choose to say, I'm gonna grow from it, right?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Or do we choose to say, you know what, I I failed.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I did a poor job of whatever it was that we're we're working on improving.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it can be the same experience when we go to a restaurant.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: You can give that restaurant another chance, and maybe they, you know, knock your socks off.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think we can do the same with our employees, and that's the challenge is like, do I see my employee as fixed and just go, yep, they're just a crap, they're just yes, they're sweet, they're not motivated, they're this swear, they're that all these things we see and just like we labeled that restaurant.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Are we labeling our people around us?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, okay, so so let's go there.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let's spend a little bit of time on this today, right?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I do have a a belief, and and I don't think it's uh a particularly unique belief, but I do, but I do feel like that you you at least have to we have to juxtaposition this versus what we're talking about right now.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that people can always grow and get better at anything, uh, but at the same time, I believe that some people have a capacity for certain things to go to a higher level than maybe the next person.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So as a manager, I believe that there's like that there's this magic spot that we have to find.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: We have to find what is Nick the best in the world at?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that that's part of my challenge.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then I also have to say, but then again, just because Nick isn't the best of the world at this yet, maybe he could be.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so so we have to be able to really kind of marry those.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then and then with the two, it there has to be a a reality of your your business and the return on investment, right?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you told me I want to become, you know, amazing at videographer, like being a videographer, and you've never done it before, and your job is to be an accountant for us, well then it might not make sense for me to say, hey, you should spend hours on hours on hours developing this because it doesn't necessarily relate to what we're doing.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: So there has to be some level of return on what it is that we're investing.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe if that's what you want to do, you should do that on your s on your own on the side.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: But it is, you're absolutely right.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's a balance, it's a mix of understanding where am I investing my time.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's what I mean.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Growth doesn't just happen, right?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't magically, you know, like if each of our employees is a seed, right?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: We gotta water them.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's about the environment that is around them, and you could water them as a manager and say, hey, we're growing you here.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: But if all the other people are like, hey, let me just like continue to take dirt out of your pot and you know, say negative things.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you sucked at this, or you're not good at that, or you know, yeah, that makes a difference to the person's growth.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the thing that I think is so interesting about this.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I love this subject.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I I could honestly talk about it all day because there's another thing that happens though, and that is that there's 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: You you have a limited resource, and it's the same for all of us.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I heard a friend of mine, Jan Dober, say this one time.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Jan, if you're listening.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Jan's a good guy.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Owner of Beach, yeah, he's a solid guy.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Local business owner, loves America, you know.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: He did tell you everything is easy.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, uh no.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is easy.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, but but he he said specifically there's only so many hours in a day.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, now if you knew that, that's a limited resource.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now, some people might have more money than you, some people might have more whatever than you, but we all have the same amount of time.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I do think it's important though to see and find what your passion is, one, yes, and what you are uh naturally inclined to two.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: I heard one time, and and this may, you know, sometimes you hear these things, but uh like Beethoven, the first time he got on a uh you know a piano, it was just so natural.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like immediately all this made sense to him, and you go, well, man, here's a prodigy like skill.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want Beethoven to try to be the greatest basketball player of all time.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want him to get in this thing.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that as managers, our big thing is while we're focused on a growth mindset, getting better at what you do, can what I also maximize that growth mindset by getting you into that thing that you can propel towards and you have passion towards.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what has to happen for that is you have to have a mindset as your manager, also of growth, because so many managers and leaders I find that they they get into their roles and they were really good as an individual contributor.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: You were great at your job, and so now you're in charge and you're responsible for all these other people.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: And we think, well, this is what I did to be successful, and we're unwilling to learn how to lead people, right?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: How to manage the projects, right?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: I often think that there's a difference between managing things and leading people.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: But but at the same time, you've got to learn how can I ask better questions?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're talking about what is someone's natural talents.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if I never give a person and ask them an opportunity and ask them to have a conversation and say, you know, what's a talent or a skill you've got that you don't feel like we're utilizing?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they say I'm really good at at this.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you go, wow, you know, that would actually be really helpful in this aspect of our business that I had no idea you could do that.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: It would make our lives a lot easier.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I think it's 100%.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: The communication piece, one thing that I I do when I'm doing employee reviews, and by the way, if you're a manager out there, do more reviews than you're doing.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that's the key.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's just like it doesn't have to be formal.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: But when I get to uh I have a format.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: I like to follow a format so that you never forget to rate one person versus another person with a similar but when I get to the second or third, a lot of times it's like the third review I'm doing with somebody, I flip it and I and and now I'm letting them answer their own question.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say, where do you think you are on technical competence and skills?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I ask these questions because it's amazing the feedback you get from people.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes they'll say, Well, I feel like I'm doing okay there, but and now you're getting honest answers.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, but I really feel like if I could do this, and then you go, that's the good stuff.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's the most stuff that we want to do, right?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: So uh very cool.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so so that that communication is very important.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you a story, and I and I'll tell you how I think this applies, man, really, honestly.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if I already talked about this on the show, you you just say, hey Rob, we heard about it, I'll give you the condensed version.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: But so I'm at a restaurant the other day, and I don't want to name the restaurant because look, you know, they had a bad day too.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: It almost goes back to what I said.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: I had a terrible experience at a restaurant.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the manager, I was watching the way they were handling conflict resolution, and they're going around this whole uh not just my table, there were plenty of tables that were upset.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was listening to the manager and they had this real, what do you want us to do attitude?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was a real, you know, hey, help didn't show up attitude.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a very fixed mindset.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, what we can't do anything better.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of gave it to the manager.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Look, I do some leadership training and I and I manage a company.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not always peaches and cream.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: But then here's the fascinating part.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, for leaders out there, here's the fascinating part.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I heard one of her waitresses go in behind her after a little while later, and I heard a table complaining, and the waitress was almost parroting back.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, people called in, you know, not much we can do.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I was watching this gr this this lack of a growth mindset, but rather a complete fixed mindset and was permeating the building.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do you follow me?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's there is so much power in the words that we choose.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, right, whether it's having to with our our customers or with each other.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because even if and even and even the actions, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: And and it's you're absolutely right in that, like it is absolutely impactful when we see other people choose to have a fixed mindset, right?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: If I watch other folks consistently not take accountability, which is exactly what you're talking about.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like a fixed mindset is saying I don't have any accountability in this, I don't have any responsibility for it.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah when the reality is you do have a responsibility.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what could you do?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: How can I make this better for you?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: What are what are the things we can do to learn or grow?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it is just the off day.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: All the stars aligned, we call it in healthcare, we call it the Swiss cheese model, right?
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, where like there's all these barriers and things that we put in place, right, to like prevent something from going wrong.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes the Swiss cheese holes just line up, and it's multiple people not taking accountability.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: So when people are like, Well, I you know, maybe that's just what it is.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: The the holes lined up and and everything went wrong that day.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: But it doesn't mean the holes have to line up every other day, um, right?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's for sure.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they and they line up both directions.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes everything just lines up perfectly bad, and then sometimes they line up perfectly good.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a uh technique I have.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And look, I you know, I'm not perfect.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: I I kind of designed this show to be like we we're not sitting here just telling everybody, here's how you do it.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, look, we've all been through the struggles.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I I manage people, but um, we're having this conversation the other day on something that didn't go right on a job site.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And look, there's a book by Jocko, Extreme Ownership.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, Jocko, the the whole point of the book is you you know, how could I have prevented this?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is on you as a leader, but then if you marry that with my philosophy that everybody can be a leader, then we start looking at it as a team.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when something goes wrong at Carolina Base, I like to look at the team and say, let's just go around and figure out what could I have done that could have prevented that.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And usually here's the fascinating part when you talk about the Swiss cheese model you talked about.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: If any part of that Swiss cheese had done its job just a little bit better, we could have prevented it.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh sometimes when when I look at this, I'm like, hey, look, if I had done this, we could have prevented it.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you could have done this, and one of my guys was like, Well, I don't I don't really want to blame other people.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: I said, This is not about blame, this is about understanding that if I were accountable in a way, I could have done it.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you also have to do this, and this is something when you see somebody stop, and I'm gonna keep using your Swiss cheese model, when you see somebody be the hole in the Swiss cheese that stopped something bad from happening, you gotta applaud that.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I had it happened the other day with actually one of uh my office receptionists.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: She she caught something as it was going on and said, Hey, good job, because that could have just kept going down and snowballing and you stopped it.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and but how often do we right and we talk about like do we not recognize the person and then they don't realize that they've actually like they've learned and they've they've they've improved.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason that you caught that was because you maybe when you first started didn't have the skills to know that this piece of information is gonna impact this whole group of people, yeah.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: And now when we say, Hey, you you did an amazing job of that, like and then if you even tie it to learning when you recognize a person as improved and you say, like, hey, you know, that made a massive impact because you took the time to learn how to do this.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you didn't learn this, then we might have had this major issue uh occur.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: And the reality is it's we don't always tie recognition to what people have learned, right?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: We don't always tie it to necessarily their skills.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: We do oftentimes we say, like, oh, you did you did a good job, and that's helpful.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: But it's even more helpful when you make it concrete and you say to a person, like, hey, I know you've been, especially if you know as a leader, I know you've been working really hard on this specifically, and you've put in a lot of time and effort to get better at this thing.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: And now look at where we've come from.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like look at look at the way this place looks because of what you did in terms of branding.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is on you, not just me, but it's it's what you've learned in your skills.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're all part of that puzzle.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I will tell you, man, here's one of the biggest things I think.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when I'm having what I consider a challenging day, and this is just more things I've learned in in leadership roles, management roles, whatever.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm having a challenging day, sometimes I have to stop back and I have to look at how far I or the company have come.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because what happens is you you're having that challenging day and it just feels like overmount uh overwhelming.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And we all know what it feels like.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you you you you have something bad happen in traffic, then you get in and some customer had something happen, and then some person didn't show up, and now you're feeling like, uh, step back from it, look where you're at.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of a cool thing.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it really is.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's what you're talking about is really having the capacity to just reflect and slow down sometimes and really you know, just be a little mindful.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we've talked about emotional intelligence in past shows.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like being able to do that is it's highly emotionally intelligent to recognize in yourself, I'm gonna slow down here and I'm gonna say, you know what, I dreamed of this two years ago.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: I prayed for this, like I worked hard to get here, and yeah, today I'm not good at this thing, or I botched this.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've had many times where I've spoken on stages and walked off and went, wow, that was a dud.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: That that went that went south.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: That was awful.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think, wow, I am not meant to do this.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then you think about wait, like I've come a long way from and do I and that doesn't mean I'm happy where I am, right?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Or that I'm you know comfortable where I am.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: I want to grow, I want to get better.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: But how do I recognize, like you said, where I've come from, but also at the same time, not compare yourself to the people that are ahead of you because it can be the defeating when I say, Man, I am my business is nowhere near what this is.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not as good as Tony Robbins.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna get there.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not, I'm I'm where I'm not limiting myself.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Where where was if Tony Robbins' gold standard, where are you?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like like a couple of knots.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like humility.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's humility.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: No, but I'm not there yet.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, right there.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, and that's full circle.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, what what I what what I really do think, and it's very important to talk about this, I just believe that we've all had that moment.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: We've all had a souls presentation where you know you get back in the car and you go, what just happened?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Where did that go wrong?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we've had a speaking event, but I believe that the self-defeating fixed mindset would be very much, well, I guess I know I'm just not good at speaking in those groups.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just not, versus what did I do that I could have done differently and how do we get better?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the funny part is we always get better from failure.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you can always get better when you have a slip-up than you do when you're just hitting home runs all day.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, right?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: I've I I've seen people post it in their offices, right?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Fail, right?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: First attempt in learning.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I mean.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's cheesy, it's corny, but it's it really it's every failure is just an opportunity to grow.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, when we look at stuff again in healthcare, we look at improving, you know, improvement projects, whether it's related to something clinical or the experience of patients, or when I'm working with, you know, a leader and we're looking at a 360.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just if I'm sitting down coaching you on your 360, I'm not gonna go, well, you know, your employees say that you really are awful at this, so like let's not worry about that.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that you failed, it's what's our opportunity to learn here and to grow here.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Real quick, just for the people listening, what's a 360?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: So a leadership 360 would be the idea that you know you would, you know, choose to work with someone like myself or Rob, and we're gonna have um a 360-degree right um, we could say appraisal, so to speak, right?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: If you get your house appraised, they tell you what its value is.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I would ask you to have the people below you, right?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And if you were to have people above you, right, individuals tell us how frequently they're seeing specific leadership behaviors.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: So um, right, you would have individuals say, these are the you know, the skills of exemplary leaders, and your people get to tell us honestly, I see Rob do it here, and it looks like this, and he's great at that, and we then rank our 30 leadership behaviors, and you can say, These are the things that my people frequently say I do, and these are the things that maybe they say I don't frequently do.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then again, we see a 360 because it it's above and below you.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a smart move, man.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, look, feedback is one of the great building blocks of a human being.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Feedback.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: But make sure that again, make sure you got a good circle around you.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: People are really rooting for you to get better.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Nick, we have a few last minutes.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh let's let's let's talk about some ways to apply this.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um I want to start off with let's talk about some phraseology.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about in your head, you mentioned that sometimes we tell ourselves stories and they become a narrative, and that narrative becomes a determiner of future success or lack of.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna give you a phrase, you give me a different way to phrase it in a positive way, okay?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Growth mindset.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: You got it.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm not gonna give that to Jennifer because Jennifer's just not good at sales.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I think instead of saying I'm not gonna give that to Jennifer, Jennifer's not good at sales, I would say I'm gonna give that to Jennifer, but I'm gonna ask her how I can help her with it, right?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: So there's that sense of accountability, right?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, I'm gonna ask her how comfortable does she feel with it.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: So rather when I tell myself that this needs to go to Jennifer, right?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: We need someone to do make this sale, I'm gonna say, Jennifer, I want to give you this, but I I know that you're not as comfortable.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like you're not as comfortable with sales.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: How do you feel about it?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna ask myself and take some accountability.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how can I help you to learn?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Is there a specific skill that you need to learn?
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes a phrase, right, can often be replaced with what I think is a lot of questions, okay, right?
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of ways to help someone um to realize that you you want to see their potential.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: I I like that.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: And and so there's a longer answer than what than one phrase.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give it a kind of a and I'm gonna keep it moving along, but I do understand where you go on that.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's important that we talk about that.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh understand when I'm using these phrases, these are phrases that I really don't think we should be using as managers, but I hear them out there and we do, and when we do, they're self-defeating and and defeating of other people.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: So and what leadership ever started with defeating mindset, right?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we're we're gonna go back to another fixed mindset comment.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I'm just terrible at accounting, so uh I don't really want to mess with that.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: What areas of accounting do I need to improve?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: What aspects of accounting is it um my balance sheet?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is it what what or what aspects of accounting do I struggle with the most?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: So asking myself the question of I'm not I'm not good at accounting, I'm not good at math.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is it that I don't know the process?
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: Is it that I or what do I need to learn?
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm asking myself, what where can I learn?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, or who here's another one, who can I go to?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not good at accounting, okay, yet, but like who can I go to, right?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's not just like I'm not good at it yet.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, great, what do I do with that, Nick?
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, like, who do I go to?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Where do I learn?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Should I go look at something online?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Shoot, ask Chat GPT how to do it.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's a million resources as to like how you can learn.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason why you can't so here's how I feel about it.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And and as you said that, I mean, again, you know, I'm i in phraseology, I think the first thing that a Thomas Blackwell would say, if you haven't ever read the Thomas Blackwell books, he's very good, go go read it.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: But he would talk about first thing is look at the mindset and and the speak that we're using.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: If I say I'm not good at accounting, so I don't want to try that, you'd say, I uh am still working on my accounting skills.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe um is there any chance I could get some help with that?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm trying to get better at it.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um there's nothing wrong with uh with having an honest appraisal of where you're at, but when you say I'm just not good at it, I feel like you're just limiting yourself forever.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: So in this growth, all right.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: So here's one more.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you one last one.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: So let's not put the Johnson team on this one.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think they're gonna gel with that customer.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm, that's a good one because now we're bringing in not just the you know, the employee, it's it's this is impacting like my customer, right?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Let's not put the Johnson group on that because they might not gel with this.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: I had to throw you a hardball here.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, so I think again, let's not limit.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is what is the and what and I think it's again, ask yourself like, why do I not why do I not think they're gonna jump with them?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: What's the reason, right?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: What what do I need to make sure the Johnson group understands about this customer?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's is this customer maybe they maybe they won't jump with them because this is how I've experienced the Johnson group so far, but what do I need to do to better understand the Johnson group?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: How can I help the the Johnson group to understand this customer?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I think the Johnson group might not be good, but I also think that maybe the Johnson group just doesn't understand the customer yet.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: So how can I help them understand?
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I think that they all come back to, and what I'm hearing is a uh a central theme of every one of your answers, and and it's and it's good because this is what we need to talk about is if you're in these positions where you're saying that at all, I think you have to have an immediate number one, it's like they're they're strategizing, they're strategizing, which is hey, look, I'm I think maybe this particular group will do well with this group, but then in the bigger picture, we're saying, well, first of all, why throw the negativity in there?
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're just not gonna gel with them.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I think that's uh uh error number one in management.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you think that?
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Number two is if that's true, what are we doing to improve upon that?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can always improve.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um and number three, I would say, you know, maybe reward the people that you feel like are gonna do so well, but ask them to do some training with the group.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, maybe they can tell what they're doing so well.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, I think this is the the good takeaway from it.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about if I've got a fixed mindset, if you have a fixed mindset, if anybody out there, they just don't believe you can ever get any better.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's the definition of it.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: We are who we are, we're fixed how we are, uh, and there you go.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have a growth mindset, you're always thinking of better opportunities, better solutions, more learning, being more receptive to it.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's really it's Rob, it's why I think we do the work that we do, right?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Whether you're doing it um whether you're business, whether you're speaking, it's it's how do I set people up to learn and grow and improve?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what it's all about.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's why I love getting to do work like this, it's why I love coaching, it's why I love this type of work.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I love it.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's great having you on here, man.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and you've I love doing it.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I I think in summation of today, let's let's let's kind of say we've talked a lot about what is the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh in summary, what would you tell people out there that are trying to change the organization around?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: I would say if you want to change your organization, you have to change yourself first.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Eliminate any limiting beliefs you have or catch yourself when you have them.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: And some of that requires vulnerability and honesty.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: So be honest with yourself.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you're not sure where to start, you know, fig look at some resources and tools to figure out how do I like determine where my limiting beliefs are and where do I have a fixed mindset?
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because we all do it in different areas of our lives and our businesses, and when we do, we're limiting potentials.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: I I love that, man.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we may not even be aware that we're being like that.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we've given you a lot of little ideas today, getting feedback.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Where are we at?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, where are people at?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, keep that positivity going.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: So over here at Carolina Bay, as we say, we have positivity enthusiasm and professional uh behavior.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you got pep, you can stick around over at Carolina Bay's.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: We'll very cool stuff.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, Nick, well, uh, as we wrap up the show, what what's going on for you?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: You got anything uh happening?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great question, Rob.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's uh I wasn't set up and and teed up in any way, shape, or form, right?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I've been doing a lot of coaching lately.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: So less speaking and more so coaching with individuals and discussing their own individual development plans.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: So leaders working with me saying, Hey, I want to do something like a 360, I want to learn what my people have to say about me.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: I've been asking a lot of leaders recently, are you the type of Leader that your people have to follow, are you the type of leader that your people get to follow?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: And if you think you're the type of leader that they get to follow, but then they don't say the same thing, then there's a gap.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: And we need to figure out where are the areas that you can grow and improve.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I've been doing lots of 360 coaching with uh different executives and leaders talking about people's strengths.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so if anyone's listening and is interested in that, I'd I'd be happy to help anyone you know, get set up so you can learn what your people have to say about you and you can get that information and data and figure out where there's opportunities to grow.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, man.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: And and look, sometimes I I think businesses get it right and they'll hire a guy like a Nick to come in or a Nick B.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: Stefano or a Rob Clemens even.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and but but then they're like, hey, that's one offer, and you never you never come back again.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: This should be a recurring theme.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: If if you enjoy something, you do a lot of it.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to get better at something, you practice it a lot.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: How do we think one seminar is gonna do anything?
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, keep it going, and even if you use different people each time, always try to grow.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I will say I want to thank our sponsors, Carolina Bay's Real Estate and Construction, aka Carolina Bay's Homes.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you to McLeod.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, look, we're uh I'm I'm on the board of uh for the help uh for the foundation, for the run it money making wing, I guess, or raising wing.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um if any of you are out there, you're thinking about helping uh with uh some kind of a foundation donation.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um we can always use money in McLeod with raising money for people experiencing cancer and things like that.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, here's my announcement Carolina Bays, we've recently agreed to make a five-year commitment that every single year we're donating to the Hope uh part of the foundation.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's helping oncology patients every day.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really proud of it.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: I believe, you know, talk about a growth mindset, man.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta do more for your community, always see what we can do.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what it's all about.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: We appreciate that.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, man, it's hey, and I challenge everybody, do the same.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: All right, well, hey, Nick, good job today.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you next time.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: All right, and we want to thank everybody for listening.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you all next time on the Leader Mentality Show with Rob Clemens and Nick DiStefano.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hey,