Latest / The Breakfast Club / DONKEY: Charlamagne Drags New York Giants After Getting Swept 40-0 In Season Opener
Transcript
- 0:02Speaker 1: Damn he haged it started the donkey. I ain't trying
- 0:08Speaker 1: to be donkey today no more.
- 0:09Speaker 2: They should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm
- 0:11Speaker 2: not making these people do these days called Donkey of
- 0:14Speaker 2: the day, and it really caught me off guard. Damn Charlamagne,
- 0:17Speaker 2: who got the donkey out of the day today?
- 0:22Speaker 1: Well, Jess, hilarious.
- 0:23Speaker 2: Donkey of to Day from Monday, September eleventh goes to
- 0:26Speaker 2: the New York Football Giants as a staff organization and
- 0:29Speaker 2: mother f and crew New York Giants fans.
- 0:31Speaker 1: You getting some of this heat hard too, Okay.
- 0:33Speaker 2: I have no idea why they are known as the
- 0:36Speaker 2: Football Giants, especially after what my Dallas Cowboys did to
- 0:39Speaker 2: them last night. You would think on the eve of
- 0:42Speaker 2: the twenty second anniversary of nine eleven, the New York
- 0:45Speaker 2: Giants would have some type of inspiration, some type of
- 0:47Speaker 2: motivation to show up and be the best version of themselves,
- 0:50Speaker 2: But instead they ended up being the only team in
- 0:53Speaker 2: the whole NFL who couldn't put up a single point
- 0:58Speaker 2: on Sunday. I don't even know if that status correct,
- 1:01Speaker 2: but it feels right. It feels like the New York
- 1:03Speaker 2: Giants were the only team in the NFL who didn't
- 1:06Speaker 2: score a single point on Sundale. Okay, correct me in
- 1:09Speaker 2: the comments if I'm wrong. If not, who cares? All right,
- 1:12Speaker 2: who cares about the truth when the lie is more entertained.
- 1:14Speaker 2: And now, if you haven't heard, the final score last
- 1:17Speaker 2: night was forty to zero. I mean that Cowboys D
- 1:21Speaker 2: was penetrating the Giants old line all night with no lubrication.
- 1:25Speaker 2: All right, let's go to CBS two New York for
- 1:27Speaker 2: the report police.
- 1:28Speaker 3: So there's that forty to nothing, your prime time final
- 1:34Speaker 3: between the Cowboys and the Giants.
- 1:37Speaker 1: It was wet, it was wild, and it had some
- 1:41Speaker 1: history in it.
- 1:42Speaker 3: Forty points is the largest shutout victory and a Cowboys
- 1:46Speaker 3: opener in the history of the franchise. Forty points is
- 1:50Speaker 3: the largest shutout loss in an opener in Giants franchise history.
- 1:55Speaker 1: It was wet.
- 1:56Speaker 2: That's why it made it so easy for the Cowboys
- 1:58Speaker 2: D to penetrate. Now, look, it was the even nine
- 2:00Speaker 2: to eleven as well, Okay, and America's team showed up.
- 2:04Speaker 2: That moment was for America. Okay, that moment was for
- 2:07Speaker 2: America's team. We knew what America needed, and we delivered,
- 2:10Speaker 2: all right, we knew what the moment was. We wasn't
- 2:13Speaker 2: gonna let America down at a time like this. In fact,
- 2:15Speaker 2: we knew that it was gonna be a tough time
- 2:17Speaker 2: for the Giants, which is why we decided to bring
- 2:18Speaker 2: forties for the whole team. You know, growing up, if
- 2:21Speaker 2: one of your homies was going through something, you pull
- 2:23Speaker 2: up with an ice cold forty to try to numb
- 2:25Speaker 2: the pain.
- 2:26Speaker 1: And last night was probably the first time in a
- 2:28Speaker 1: long time.
- 2:29Speaker 2: That a lot of people in New York drink a
- 2:30Speaker 2: fortyo And that's why so many of them were looking
- 2:33Speaker 2: sick last night and probably feel a little hung over
- 2:35Speaker 2: the day. See that Cowboys Fortyo hit different, all right?
- 2:38Speaker 2: Forty oo is Saint Ives, Older English Cold, forty five,
- 2:41Speaker 2: Slip Small Liquor, that Blue Bull, that two eleven Hurricane,
- 2:44Speaker 2: Mickey's King Kobra.
- 2:46Speaker 1: None of them hit like that Cowboys forty Yo.
- 2:48Speaker 2: Now I know there was a lot of Dominicans in
- 2:50Speaker 2: New York last night who feel like they put on
- 2:53Speaker 2: white jeans and blue Giants jerseys for absolutely no reason.
- 2:58Speaker 2: And who am I to tell you different? You are
- 3:00Speaker 2: absolutely correct. You put on those white jeans in that
- 3:02Speaker 2: blue Giants Jersey for no damn reason that all last
- 3:05Speaker 2: night and the weather was disgusting, so those white jeans
- 3:08Speaker 2: got ruined. I guarantee dry cleaners all over New York
- 3:12Speaker 2: City are being bombarded with the white jeans today because
- 3:15Speaker 2: of all the Dominicans who put on a white who
- 3:17Speaker 2: put on white jeans in the Blue Giants Jersey last
- 3:19Speaker 2: night to watch my Dallas Cowboys disman through the New York.
- 3:22Speaker 1: Giants forty to zero. Now envy this morning.
- 3:26Speaker 2: I want to tell you the story of the cucumber,
- 3:29Speaker 2: the pickle, the penis, and the New York Giants fan.
- 3:33Speaker 1: Would you like to hear it? No?
- 3:35Speaker 2: So there was a cucumber, right, a pickle, a penis
- 3:38Speaker 2: in a New York Giants fan sitting around talking about
- 3:40Speaker 2: how bad their lives were.
- 3:42Speaker 1: The pickle says, uh, you know, that's nothing.
- 3:45Speaker 2: When I get you know, big and hard, they stick
- 3:47Speaker 2: me in a jar full of vinegar and vacuum sealed
- 3:50Speaker 2: met and the penis says, my life is the worst.
- 3:53Speaker 2: When I get big and hard, they put a rubber
- 3:54Speaker 2: tarp on my head and stick me in a dark
- 3:56Speaker 2: room and bang my head against the wall until I
- 3:58Speaker 2: throw up and pass out.
- 4:00Speaker 1: New York Giants fans.
- 4:00Speaker 2: Said, my life is terrible because I can't handle big D.
- 4:04Speaker 2: But side note, Giants fans love little d well like
- 4:08Speaker 2: little D. Yes you do, don't you? Envy invY? You
- 4:12Speaker 2: a father liked me. Let's see if you can guess
- 4:14Speaker 2: these dad jokes. Okay, you want to.
- 4:16Speaker 1: Guess some of them? Sure? Huh.
- 4:18Speaker 2: Why doesn't New York Giants quarterback Daniel Jones use the
- 4:20Speaker 2: phone anymore?
- 4:23Speaker 1: Why? Because you can't find the receivers? Listen? Want another one?
- 4:27Speaker 1: How many Giants fans does it take the final light,
- 4:29Speaker 1: Bob Envy?
- 4:30Speaker 4: How many?
- 4:31Speaker 2: None? Because they are happy living in the Cowboys shadow.
- 4:34Speaker 2: I got another one for you. What's the difference between
- 4:36Speaker 2: the New York Giants and a dollar bill?
- 4:38Speaker 1: Envy?
- 4:39Speaker 2: What you can still get four quarters out of a
- 4:42Speaker 2: dollar bill?
- 4:42Speaker 1: Last night? The Giants couldn't give you one? Want one more?
- 4:46Speaker 2: Huh?
- 4:46Speaker 1: Want one more? Huh?
- 4:47Speaker 2: No? What did the New York Giants and Chick fil
- 4:50Speaker 2: A workers have in common yesterday?
- 4:54Speaker 1: I know you know this. Come on, come.
- 4:57Speaker 4: On, come on, They're off on Sunday.
- 5:00Speaker 1: Neither one of them showed up for work on Sunday. Look,
- 5:04Speaker 1: I'm here all week.
- 5:05Speaker 2: No, literally, I'm here all week reminding you that my
- 5:08Speaker 2: Dallas Cowboys have the best D in the league. Last night,
- 5:11Speaker 2: the Giants got the first taste of the big D
- 5:13Speaker 2: that the league will be sucking on all season, and
- 5:16Speaker 2: on February eleventh, we will be playing in the Super
- 5:19Speaker 2: Bowl in Vegas. But no need to get ahead of ourselves.
- 5:22Speaker 2: Let's just enjoy the process, starting with the forty to
- 5:25Speaker 2: zero ass cutting we put on the New York Football
- 5:29Speaker 2: Giants last night. Now, can we please give the New
- 5:31Speaker 2: York Giants the sweet sounds of the hamiltones.
- 5:35Speaker 5: You ally, oh the day, ye oh the day ye.
- 5:56Speaker 2: And in case you're wondering, the cucumbers life is terrible
- 5:58Speaker 2: because when the cucumber gets big and hard, they uh
- 6:00Speaker 2: chop it up and put it in the salad.
- 6:03Speaker 1: I just want to throw that out there.
- 6:04Speaker 4: I would just like to say, you act like people
- 6:07Speaker 4: can't have a bad day. Like you ever have sex
- 6:10Speaker 4: and then boom happens too fast. That's a bad day.
- 6:14Speaker 4: You ever go to the casino and don't win, that's
- 6:16Speaker 4: a bad day. You ever you know need a haircut
- 6:20Speaker 4: and then you forget your hat.
- 6:22Speaker 1: You had a bad day.
- 6:23Speaker 4: You ever walk down the street and step in some poop.
- 6:27Speaker 1: You had a bad day.
- 6:30Speaker 4: You ever walk down the street and a pigeon is
- 6:32Speaker 4: showing you it's a bad day.
- 6:34Speaker 1: We all have bad days.
- 6:36Speaker 2: What about when somebody box your mouth? Is that a
- 6:38Speaker 2: bad day? That threatening somebody with a good time? You
- 6:41Speaker 2: know one?
- 6:41Speaker 5: Is it?
- 6:42Speaker 1: It depends where you're at. It depends where you're at.
- 6:44Speaker 1: All right, okay, all right, all right, well.
- 6:46Speaker 4: Thank you for that dog to day be et will
- 6:48Speaker 4: see you'll tomorrow, piece.
- 6:49Speaker 2: B et donkey, today is brought to you by the
- 6:52Speaker 2: law office of Michael Slaminsoft. Don't be a donkey. Do
- 6:55Speaker 2: pound two fifty on yourself and say the bull. If
- 6:58Speaker 2: you've been hurting a construction accident, that's down to five
- 7:00Speaker 2: O from yourself and say the bull.
- 7:02Speaker 1: Wake that ass up Earth in the morning. The Breakfast
- 7:05Speaker 1: Club
- 7:10Speaker 3: H