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13: An interview with one of our new deacons and his wife · Beyond The Beacon

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Beyond the Beacon with Bishop Kevin Sweeney, a podcast of the Diocese of Patterson.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jay Agnish, Communications Director for the Diocese and editor of Beacon Newspaper.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: With me is Bishop Kevin Sweeney.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Bishop, how are you?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing good.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're getting ready to leave us for a few days.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Where are you going?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: For a couple of days, yes.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'll be headed to the uh USCCB meeting.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so we're actually recording the podcast a little earlier than we usually do.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: We usually record on Thursdays today.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's Tuesday, the Feast of St.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Anthony of Padua.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so Monsignor Condon said he told his parishioners, if don't lose anything today because St.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: Anthony has the day off, so you can't be asking him to help you find this feast today.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: But uh actually I'm gonna be celebrating Mass in St.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: James of the marches in Totowa tonight for um uh our Italian uh brothers and sisters uh who um there's a few mass uh parishes that have mass in Italian, and uh I unfortunately won't be able to say much in Italian, but I'll be glad to celebrate Mass there at St.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: Joe's tonight, excuse me, at St.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: James on the on the Feast of St.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Anthony.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: So then uh tomorrow morning I'll head to Orlando for the um they call it the spring meeting.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's the last, I think, uh couple of days of spring, but until June 21st, right?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh but um uh so thir Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, um the USCCB meeting.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: So we'll ask everyone to keep that in their prayers.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: And uh actually I'm coming back Friday afternoon because um I'll be celebrating Mass at uh Sagrado Corazon, the uh Sacred Heart Church in Dover.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: On uh Friday is the Feast of the Sacred Heart as we celebrated Corpus Christi um on this past Sunday.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um now this coming Friday will be the Feast of Corpus Christi.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: So excuse me, this coming Friday will be the sacred heart, the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: So um yeah, a lot, a lot happening at the moment.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, a lot going on.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we're we're definitely gonna miss you.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: And when you get back, we'll we'll have to hear all about the the conference.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I just want to quickly introduce our guests.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: We have with us uh Deacon John Rabayo and his wife Rose.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: John is one of our 10 newest deacons ordained by the bishop just this past Saturday.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so thank you both for coming on.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, doing really well.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Great, great.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Bishop, uh, can you can you open us up with prayer, please?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: Let's place ourselves in God's presence, name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: As we gather in the name of Jesus, who teaches us that wherever two or three are gathered together in his name, he's there in the midst of them.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: Gathering now in his name and giving him thanks for his presence, we join all our prayers together as one as we pray in the words that Jesus Himself has taught us.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: St.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: Anthony of Padua, pray for us and the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, so Deacon John and Rose attend Our Lady of the Lake in Sparta, where, as of being ordained on Saturday, like I said, John now serves as deacon.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Deacon John is currently vice president of information security at Prudential Insurance Company in Newark.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Rose is a registered nurse who for over 25 years worked in critical care at St.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Joseph's in Patterson.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: She's semi-retired and works two to three days a week at Newton Hospital and a surgical center.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh John Deacon John and Rose both attended Fairley Dickinson University, and they have a great story about how their paths first crossed that I'm going to let them tell in in a little bit.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: They're uh I guess we can qualify uh you as uh high school sweethearts, right?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: You you went to the high school prom together.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: We did.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: And uh this was at uh Patterson Catholic, right?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: Patterson Catholic, yes.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: And uh you're both Colombian and you speak speak some f Spanish.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: We do speak Spanish conversationally.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: We can we can we can uh pretend to speak Spanish to the gringos.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: And then to those who are no, no, I didn't mean that to that.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: No problem.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: Uh uh That's funny.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: I meant like for us, that's how they see us.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um but um we do we can have conversations in Spanish, and it's it's really nice if I can take the tangent.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um when growing up in our both our households, we spoke Spanish, our parents only spoke Spanish.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: When our firstborn was born, Leah, we bought an unabridged Webster's thick dictionary, Spanish to English, and we re-taught ourselves Spanish and um only spoke Spanish as the children were growing up.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: Really tough.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: So my my three girls are really tired of hearing, and they had tone now, no hablo inglés, because we wanted to just remember our culture.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: Do the do your daughters speak Spanish?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: Uh they do to varying degrees.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and um we'll leave you to judge that when you meet them.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh as I I my second parish, the very large um Hispanic community in Corona in Queens.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: And the pastor was uh Monsignor Tom Healy, uh, whose parents came from Ireland during the Depression.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: And uh he was at that parish more than 15 years when I got there.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: He was there 23 years as pastor and um just incredible fluency in Spanish and spoke to Dominicans like Dominican, Mexican, like Mexican, Ecuadorians.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh but um he would pound his fist telling the parents uh and the kids make sure you speak Spanish to your children.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: The children have to learn to speak Spanish, the children have to learn their the language, uh the prayers in both languages.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it's uh it's it it can be a challenge.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: Parents have a lot of things on their mind, but uh um but uh for myself having tried to pick it up or learned it over the years, um uh it's really after college, uh uh it was thanks to the people in Parishes and priests like Monsignor Gilly that uh helped me to uh get through.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: But uh um but it's certainly uh a blessing for children to be able to grow up in.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not only the it's uh as you say, the question of language is the the question of the culture, right?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: So uh as I've said, I I didn't appreciate what it meant to have be uh that my parents were born in Ireland when I was growing up, son of immigrants, as your children are first generation, right?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: Uh um, but um but now I realize that I was receiving a lot of the Irish culture.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: And um one of great things about our country, the United States, that we have great history and culture here, but we're blessed by histories and cultures, right?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: And languages that come from uh I know we wanted to speak about the diakonate, but uh uh that's uh uh you want to say a word about that in terms of your own experience growing up coming from another country and and then raising children here in in this culture?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: And obviously you made that decision as parents, right, to share that culture with your children?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh obviously it's it's difficult to keep that tradition, especially when um we happen to have lived in areas that were not largely Hispanic.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but we tried the best we could, you know, we can.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: And you both came, your families both came to the city of Patterson, right?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: You said St.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: Teresa and St.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: Brendan's Parish when you were younger?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, ultimately they did move to Patterson and um.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: Were those communities um Hispanic, would you say, when you were at the beginning.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, they were not at all.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh wow.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: We were the first Hispanics on the block and few one of the few Hispanics at St.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Teresa's uh grammar school.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And uh very, very few.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, well changed.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: So we love so much.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, yeah, we're definitely gonna get into the deaconate and your training and uh your ordination.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I wonder if maybe we should start with with your background and how you have a really cool story about how you guys crossed paths actually uh years before you even met.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder, John uh Deacon John, if you could you could tell that story.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: So um Rose and I uh met in high school, in um in freshman in high school, and we um had before then left Columbia as a family in 1965.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: We both happened to notice or come to the uh understanding, we arrived in the United States in the port of Miami on the same day.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: And so doing a little bit of research, um realized that if you left and on Ario Condor, Air Condor, right from Colombia on that day, on a day, there was one flight from Colombia to Miami, so we had to have been on the same plane.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_03: So as a child, I remember running up and down the aisles with other kids.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember actually when when I share this memory with Rose, she goes, Yeah, but I got sick.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I threw up.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_03: And was that you or am I remembering one of those?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I recently um was going over this with my sister Maria, Cookie, we call her with Cookie, and she said, I remember the girl that got sick and had thrown up.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_03: You know, but she was running around at the end.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: Did you have brothers and sisters that you came with, Rose?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: I came with an older brother, and then I have a sister that was born here.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, so it was the two of us and my mom.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: And now you were like three, right?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was four, John is three.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: And did you have family here when you arrived?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, no family.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, we really have very limited family, my side anyway.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's just um my immediate family.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh a aunt came over and then her children, that's really it.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_03: Aaron Powell And Did you have family here?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, to an extent, but I'd like to like extend that because we had, speaking of culture, Rose has a bunch of aunts and uncles and cousins uh that were totally intimidating when I first started dating her.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_03: To like they they who is this long-haired gened guy?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: I was a different fellow then.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um because um we did form our own culture together.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and uh similarly with us, my mother's brother brothers came early on, and then everybody kind of gave each other a lifeline as we came, and we we formed small groups and grew from a small group to a larger group.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: So um uh yes, we came with I have nine sisters.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: Nine sisters.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: Nine sisters and a brother.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um and um And how many came together when you first came?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: Well, my my dad came with um my three oldest sisters um worked and saved and then came from uh I'm sorry, called for the family.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um so he I don't know if it was 63 or 64 that he came, but in 65 the rest of us came.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: My sister said that I had this big bruise for my vaccination and a sport jacket my father had given me, and it was an incredibly hot June day, and I wouldn't take the jacket off because I my father had to see me in the jacket.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Elegante.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yeah.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we have our uh our thing, our vanities.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe uh to fast forward a little bit, uh you're in Patterson Catholic together, you go to the prom together, uh, and how long after high school were you married?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oof.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: That was about 11 years ago.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh wow, okay were you in dating all along?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Dating, yes, uh maybe on and off twice.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: Where were you married?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: At um in Clifton, uh, St.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Brendan's by Father Rento.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, is that right?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, Father Richard Rento.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: I think he may be the oldest current priest living in the diocese.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: He's he's in the top five, I'd say, definitely.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: So uh and as I mentioned, he he was with us last week at our priest jubilee celebration.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: So married by Father Rento.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: And were you both involved in in the church and you're living your faith, practicing your faith at by the time you were uh and then um first child soon after you were married?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh about three years after we were married.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: And uh you were working as a nurse by that time in uh in St.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Joe's?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yes.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was uh there.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was at St.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Joe's from 79 until about oh, I'm gonna say like 2014.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: And when did you move to Sparta?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: I moved to Sparta in 2006.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: 2006, okay.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and were involved in then Our Lady of the Lake from that time.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: So leading to um and you might might each have different memories, the first time someone says to you or you thought, um, maybe God's calling me to be a deacon, or the first time you remember uh whether he raised it or um the conversation, uh similar memories or I think Rose Tancer, because we have different memories, we do.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's funny.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: So m many years ago he actually voiced his um he he wanted to pursue something in that realm to um uh maybe be a deacon, maybe serve in some capacity.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: But then I don't know, we never spoke about it uh about it again.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'd like to also uh mention Our Lady of the Holy Angels in Little Force.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, right.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: Where, you know, on alternate weekends, I had uh three kids, uh a one-year-old, um five-year-old, and uh three-year-old.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: Did I get that right?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: No, I had a one and a five and a seven-year-old.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I would go to uh mass with them by myself and sister because Rose was working because Rose was working at the hospital.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: She had to work alternate weekends.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um hospitals don't close.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um I wish at that time I prayed.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: I wish they did.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_03: It was very hard.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: And Sister Mary, that was Sister Mary, the principal, yes.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, sister, yes, she uh she just befriended me and approached me.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um and when the and she told me years later, she prayed that we would bring those kids to the school, or Our Lady of the Holy Angels at the time.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: And um when and we'd see each other regularly, with Rose, of course, would come to the uh mass when she wasn't working uh with us, and she'd attend mass.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um Father Renta would do some mass at St.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: Joe's in the morning.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um and Sister Mary invited me to participate in first the school, and um at the time it was a Francescan church, so Robert Sandoz and Greg Jebia.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um and then um in in my participation there, they gave me a small goodbye, and someone asked me, How are you gonna make new friends at you know, in your new in your new place?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I see a new church.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_03: They did say place.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I said the same way I did here, you know, just it's all about worshiping God and and we'll all come together.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: Experience a community, right?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_03: So I never thought getting back to answering the question.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um I remember thinking and expressing to Rose, if we hadn't gotten married, I might have thought about being a priest.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um but I don't remember ever saying deacon, but I'm not I know that you remember that.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: That's interesting, right?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um and then Father David McDonnell, here at Our Lady of the Lake here in Sparta, Lady of the Lake, asked me um about being a deacon when uh two cohorts before mine were formed.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I said, Father, I honestly I live reflecting, didn't really understand what he was asking me.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I told him, Father, you know, I'm really involved at work.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_03: At that time I was traveling, um, um, I was traveling for work.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: And uh I said, you know, I'll go to I'll go to the meeting and I'll listen, but I don't want to set any false expectations.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know that I can commit myself to anything.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_03: Again, really not understanding the commitment.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: And and and and years passed, and one day we Father Dave is gentle but persistent.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: This is this is i if Father David says something to you, very like why or how, just be prepared.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: Uh he is, he absolutely is.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: He's a great leader.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: He actually is a really good leader.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, yes.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um and um um fast forward, I think it's eight or nine, however many years it was, we were uh we were doing a movie night.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_03: Our uh director of religious education, Betty Haldak, um would show us some uh some movies, and then we you know we'd have a prayer before some uh and some discussion afterwards.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_03: Father David has an email from um your predecessor, um Bishop Saratelli, just you know, um polling and requesting candidates.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: And he goes, you know, John, I want you to read this.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the bishop sent this to me.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: And you'll be too old the next time they call.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: And uh that's and he just left the email there.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I just really he he knows how he knows how to tooth fix.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I read the email and I said, Father, uh, let me think about it.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: I and I thought about it, and we went um that was that was either the end of 2017 or the beginning of 2018.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: And then um my youngest daughter graduated high s uh grammar high school and my oldest daughter graduated college, and we had a nice family vacation that year, and we had uh lots of moving parts.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: I was really, really busy.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I didn't submit my application and really didn't decide, honestly, that I was going to do it until like um a bit late.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I submit my application late uh after receiving uh nudge from uh Deacon Peter um who uh heads up the program and said, you know, John, what are you doing?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: Peter does a great job.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, he is um thank you.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, God, for that.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Deacon John, you were involved, right, in your parish leading up to that moment.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_03: You were in in the RCIA Yeah, I was Deacon McGovern, Jim McGovern headed the RCIA, heads the RCIA ministry, and I I don't know if it was five or six years I did RCIA.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't mention this to you, but I had a mild heart attack in 2021 and triple bypass.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so um so I curtailed my RCIA duties that year, as well as I did the altar serving scheduling and uh just ushered and and participated how I could.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um and and then thank God I recovered very quickly.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: Praise the Lord.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, praise the Lord, praise the Lord that I didn't do what most men do and just say, I'll feel better and ignore it when I felt better.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um and this past year uh I felt like, oh, in the first two years of um studying for our masters, I was in class Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday evenings doing RCIA.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I have to tell you, that was one of the most fulfilling experiences I've had in in my life.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember telling myself, convincing myself, John, all you have to do is get there because once you're there, you'll be so happy that you've gone.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: And it's true.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I got a beautiful text from one of um one of the uh catechumen that we taught and is now a you know practicing Catholic, and it's so beautiful to see Catholics that I helped along their journey sitting in the pews very, very religiously.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: And now and now as your deacon of the case.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and as I was accolade, and as I was giving uh communion.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, involved where I could and and and and everywhere that I was needed.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: And Rose, when going back to the time of applying to enter into the program, the uh approval or uh uh consent of uh the spouse is part of our uh process.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: Do you remember uh those conversations or did you have any hesitancy or um uh you what can you remember about that time?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: So there was a bit of hesit hesitancy because um all I could think of, or actually no, we went to one of the meetings and uh the deacons deacons were saying that all the wives were saying how any projects in the home was just put aside for many years.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought we have projects that have been put aside for many years because of you know the life and you know we're paying for two colleges, Catholic schools.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: Three three Catholic school, high school tuitions, right?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought, oh no, no, this can't be.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we had a talk with Father David, and Father David said, So you don't mind that he becomes a deacon, you just want to get household things done.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Oh yes, absolutely.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: He said, John, then let's look at a list and then we'll check them off.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: And get them.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: So you were able to give your okay.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well we had such wonderful um role models with deacons, not just uh Jim in the church and uh Deacon Sonny.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um but also prior to that, uh Deacon Barcelona at Saint Teresa, he's baptized so many in our child uh so many of our children in the family and um Just a wonderful human being.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: And that brings us, I think, to uh Saturday.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I know it's five years of the formation process.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: And you Johnny talked about some of the classes.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: And but um uh for myself, as I shared at the beginning of the homily, to see the cathedral so full, uh standing room only, and also to see uh the ten men about to be ordained, nine of them with their wives, you know, at their side, nine out of the ten are married, um, and um and they're uh realize their in-laws and their own parents, some of them, and their children and their grandchildren.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: Uh for me, it the last uh the I ordained um I forget the number now in 2020, but a large group, and but it was COVID and everybody was wearing masks and there was distancing.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: So this past Saturday uh to have the cathedral so full, um, and I'm sure you were looking forward to, and I know you had rehearsal for the uh but the ordination ceremony uh I always find so moving, especially now that um the one ordaining, but um maybe um what was your experience of the the ordination mass and ceremony itself?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: I I was filled with great joy, and um I forget how what beauty there is in our in our beautiful Catholic tradition.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um and we focus as a society too much on the ugly and the bad, where this is just I was just overwhelmed by the the the happiness that I felt inside and the happiness that I saw everyone participating in, and the the profound ceremony that we were partaking in, and I happen to just I don't I have no idea how I happened to be such a figure in that in that play, in that in that drama that has happened for thousands of years and instituted by the apostles themselves.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um I was uh as as you can see, I'm still a bit overwhelmed.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_03: Uh it's most beautiful.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: And I had a it was wonderful.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um and and I I I I think that one of the things that I've taken away from that is that we need to, as we try and evangelize, focus on the the the the beauty.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: The beauty.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: The transcendentals, the true, the good, and the beautiful that can um convert.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: And Rose, your experience of the ordination mass and ceremony?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Aaron Ross Powell My goodness.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was overwhelmed by all the traditions coming all together at once there and not having uh experienced an ordination.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: Had you been the first time, really?
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um I got to do a reading, yes.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: And very wonderfully, sweetheart.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that um I was taken aback by and and it was wonderful, and then some family members came and approached me was that camaraderie between the deacons when they come and they embrace each other.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: That was a good thing.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: And there were so a few that quite a few that uh we knew, and when they embraced John, I got choked up.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I uh no Jay has a couple of questions, but let one last one for me.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: So then uh and out of the ten, we gotta thank Father Dave and Our Lady of the Lake because two of the new deacons were from Our Lady of the Lake.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: So it was a not only Corpus Christi, but uh at Our Lady of the Lake in Sparta.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um two uh masses of Thanksgiving.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yourself, you were the later of the two.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: I I did the noon before you was deacon.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: George and Sally.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so um what was that experience like?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: I presume you preached and uh and for the family and to and that parish community that you've been such a part of.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: Now all of a sudden um your husband is uh a deacon and preaching and serving, and and yourself, John, as as a deacon, how did that feel?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: It was great.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: I I made it a point to go see George's mass.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: Right, and I and I stayed in the back because I didn't want to take any attention from him.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_03: And he did such a wonderful job with everything, and his homily was so so like Rose coaches me, not mine to be too academic, too, you know, esoteric, and it was so beautiful, and everybody really um reacted so well to it.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: I thought to myself, mine's not as good.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_04: We don't compare, it's not a company.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_04: Oh no, no, no.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_04: I know, but but but it's we have human beings too, right?
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_04: Human nature, right?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_03: And it was more about um wow, George, George just knocked a ball out of the park.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I stayed and I asked Father David, you know, can we walk through it?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: And he did.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I was I was incredibly nervous.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: But I just felt very comfortable participating in in the ritual and and understanding what I was doing.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: And um there were parts of my homily that I had memorized, and I knew the parts that I didn't have memorized, and I and I said I'd I'll have to look down.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_03: And it just felt very natural, and I and it was I I felt carried by the Holy Spirit.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_03: I just happens, yeah.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: Don't don't be nervous and just ask for help, and and I got it.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_03: So it was a great experience, and and everybody responded so very positively.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: And um, yes, the community at Our Lady of the Lake.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: I might have said Holy Angels a second ago incorrectly.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_03: Our Lady, Our Lady, right, yes, um uh is such a wonderful community.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: Right, and and I love them all, and and they've extended such love to Rose and me and our family, and my mother-in-law lives with us, Paulina.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, and and she's eighty-eight, yes, and everybody just marvels at how um how she's still completely together, and yes, she absolutely is.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: So it was a great experience.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: And Rose, your experience of the mess.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of the things that um as Catholics we're always um asked about is about the real presence.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: And for John to have um that homily to have to speak about the real presence was powerful um because it is so important, I guess, for us as Catholics not just to consume, but then be consumed by it.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so when he said those words, it was very powerful.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, I guess uh I'm curious, uh Deacon John, if uh anyone maybe considering the deaconate?
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have any advice for them or and and maybe was what was like what was the final moment for you that maybe inspired you to say yes?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's happening right now, and it it's I I never said yes.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um I I feel I've been led by God, not just in my spiritual life, but in in the successes that I've had in life.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um so the advice I would give anyone thinking about it or anyone thinking about about the existence of God or how to practice any any any uh part of our beautiful Catholic faith is just give it to God.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: You know, just focus on doing what is always right, participating in a good and natural way, and just give it to God.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_03: Do what you're doing today and do it as well as you can, and then the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_03: And that's served me really well professionally, and it's gotten me here.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: I I I see in in my brother deacons, men who are truly called, like they knew in their heart and they felt it.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm sometimes a bit envious of that because I've never felt that way.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_03: I felt that I'm doing what God wants me to do, and that's good enough for me.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_03: And as long as I worry about succeeding here and now and behaving, and I don't always behave, um everything will work out.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's just know that God's in charge.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: He may not calm the storm right away, but just his presence there, he will give you that peace.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: That is right, right?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: In the middle of the storm.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that's right.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_03: We peace is not, we we have to understand peace is not the absence of conflict.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's the beautiful peace that we have.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, and knowing that what however terrible the circumstances are, everything will turn out the right way.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, everything if we allow God's will to happen.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_03: That's that's my prayer, actually.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: May your will be done, God.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's like what what what you know, like what do I pray for?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_03: Just for God's will to be done.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_03: You know, um so yeah, so it's so it was the the advice would be to let it go and give it to God in a in a true and sincere way, not in a not in a in in a momentary way, but in a a meaningful way.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: And come to an understanding of yourself first.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_03: Because you can't do anything fully and completely unless you know yourself.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: And then seek in yourself those things that that you feel that are missing, and those God will help you fill in.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: But in his time and in his way.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you when we spoke last week, I was like, I was like, man, I mean, reading your your bio, like you have so much going on.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, all of you sitting at this table, and like how how could you possibly become a deacon if you have a full-time job and a family?
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what what is what's your response to that?
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, I don't have enough time.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't, you know.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_03: It is that just give it to God, but do your peace too, right?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_03: You have to understand everything that you have to do, prioritize it properly, and then don't freak yourself out when you see everything you need to do and get frozen, and just tell God, give me the peace, please help me, not give me help.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: So finding time for prayer, right?
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: Uh always.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um maybe a little bit about uh how maybe you prayed together as a couple or how you prayed to as a family, uh, and how prayer has been helpful both of you in in your lives.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I know, John, uh that part of the formation over the five years was uh learning about the liturgy of the hours and and and uh spiritual director.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so maybe you could each just say a word about uh how important it is to find that time to pray and how prayer can help us.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, Rose.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: So uh we have done the liturgy of the hours together, which is wonderful.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I don't always participate because I have my own prayer, follow my own prayer routine and my own Bible study.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: Part of prayer is what works, right?
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, right.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_03: Rose has stolen my study Bible because I think it's hers now.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it is wonderful.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and I think that um, you know, nurturing my own uh I guess it would be my own uh prayer life and also spiritual life, very important.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it's nice that we come together and we have our own separate.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um I love the liturgy of the hours.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I've come to I've always been intrigued by the Old Testament and in the Liturgy of the Hours, my my my classmates, my my fellow deacon cohort are pro sorry, brothers are tired of hearing this, but I hear my Hebrew ancestors calling to me through time about the difficulties and the joy and and the the special moments we have uh with God if we just allow ourselves.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I love the Liturgy of the Hours.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_03: During the retreat we had two weeks ago, or just before ordination, I told Father Lem, um the cohort spiritual director, when we were talking about prayer, I I I try to nurture conversation with God.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't I haven't I haven't gotten there.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_03: But um throughout the day, um I'll I'll thank God for dumb little things and for even difficulties, and then I'll just say, I don't know, God, let's see what happens.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like I say that a lot to myself, I don't know, God, let's see what I or thank you, God, you know, for so so um prayer isn't a format or a structure.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_03: It really is quieting yourself to hear the word of God.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: And when I do the Liturgy of the Hours, these thoughts flash into my mind.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: I know they're not mine, but they're they're just someone would define them as just thoughts.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_03: And it's really being able to wash our minds of the temporary, foolish concerns and fill them with the eternal, beautiful joy that God has for us.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: That's what you know, and so so I try I I I like to acknowledge throughout the day, and I do evening and morning prayer, morning and evening prayer.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um and every now and then when I have a long ride, and for many, many years um before I started doing liturgy of the hours, I I do a um uh the rosary.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: Rosary going in and coming out of coming out from work.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: So prayer is important.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I love it when Rose does the liturgy, especially morning prayer with me.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's really nice.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's great.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thanks for sharing that.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: And um before we let you go, Bishop, any final questions or thoughts on the diaconate?
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I do want to throw out um to learn more about the the permanent diaconate, visit pattersondioces.org slash permanent dash diaconate.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you can also visit patterson diocese.org, scroll down to where it says vocations, and and it'll be under there as well.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh a word of thanks.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh thanks for being with us and and thank you as again to your your nine brothers and yourself for your yes to this call and those uh married or the your the spouses, uh the wives, yes, as well is so important.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: And um uh we'll be working together and seeing a lot of each other.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I think also uh um over these five years, uh as you mentioned, Deacon Peter Sestaro, uh Father Paul Manning, and all those at St.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: Paul's Inside the Walls, Father Lem Camacho with the spiritual director and spiritual program, um, and all those in our diaconate office, those at Seton Hall University, we have a lot of people to be grateful for, right?
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_02: Uh on behalf of the Dowson Church because they um to think about all those who helped uh and have been walking this journey with you over the five years.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the other the other deacons, uh right, uh who've been, and I'm sure the deacons' wives, right, have uh received you into now this little family that uh is part of uh our our larger Dowson family, right?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that was so important to have that connection with them.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, right.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and as we said, beautifully expressed in that sign of peace and during the um ordination ceremony.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: And uh it it did strike me um uh that I wonder how many of that people in that cathedral, you know, there was probably close to a thousand people if uh with standing room.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder how many it was their first ordination.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'd say probably three quarters, if not more, right?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because uh sometimes for priesthood ordination, it's a lot of the priests and seminarians and so many have seen ordinations obviously for their families, maybe it's the first time and guests.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but uh God willing, thanks be to God, we'll have uh another ordination coming now a week from Saturday where two of our um deacons, seminarians, transitional deacons are gonna be ordained priests um for our diocese.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_02: Uh uh Deacons Starly Castellanos and um Deacon Christoph Tischko.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so please keep them in your prayers.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: And uh for those interested in uh attending an ordination, uh the feast day of our diocese, the feast of the birth of John the Baptist, St.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: John the Baptist on June 24th.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: Uh not this Saturday, but the following Saturday, um 10:30.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_02: 1030.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: And before we forget, not be remiss, to John and all the dads out there, uh happy Father's Day this coming Sunday, right?
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: So with everything else.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_02: So happy Father's Day to our dads.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: All right, good.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think we're gonna sign off.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um thanks again for joining us, Deacon John and Rose.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Bishop, for your time.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh have have a great trip to Florida, and we we want to hear about it when you get back.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you all for spending time with us.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: And one last word.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_02: Uh may the best team win in the subway series tonight and tomorrow.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: So let's go, Yankees.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh let's go, Mets.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wait a minute, yes.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, there we go.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm with you.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Queens, actually, Brooklyn Diocese, but uh uh always again worse.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_04: Let's go, Yanks.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_04: There we go.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_04: Let's go.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, join us again for the next episode of Beyond the Beacon.
• 40:10
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• 40:13
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• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: Email questions and podcast topic ideas for the bishop to beyond at patternsondiocese.org.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you for listening to Beyond the Beginning.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: God bless.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, thank you.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: God bless you all.